" so explain to me why we're doing this, and why he's here? " Killua spoke pointing towards the magician. " Because we need to follow Illumi towards Lazu, so we have to follow him. Hisoka here just in case he finds or senses us and wants to fight or take you back home ' Leorio spoke.

" Speaking of which, he's been walking for a while, what do you think he's doing? " Kurapika spoke. " Look, he's heading into a flower shop " Gon spoke, they watch from a distance as he walks in, walking out two minutes later with a bouquet of white Lilly's.

" You don't think he's going to see a secret lover? " Gon spoke, " Illumi having a lover?~, hmm how unlike of him~ " Hisoka spoke. " Shut y, let's get going " Killua spoke. They followed behind him till he was at a graveyard, he walks in walking somewhere.

He stops for a bit, they see him close his eyes and take a deep breath, he then continues till he's in front of a grave. " Long time no see Kuzi " he spoke, as he stares at the grave. He kneels down as he placed the flowers neatly on the grave, the five watching confused.

" It's been seventeen years, i was seven at the time, sorry it took me forever to come see you. My parents wouldn't let me out of the torcher chamber to attend your funeral, after all it was my fault you died " he spoke as he sad look overtook his eyes.

" I'm sorry, i was a coward. I could of done so much to stop father and mother, i could of saved you, i was weak. I'm sorry I never visited you, I was coward and decided to let father and mother take control of my life " he spoke clenching his first as he felt tears blur his vision.

The others watch in confusion and curiosity, " I had multiple chances to see you, but after you died I tried my best to mask and push my emotions away. I did everything I could to forget you, but no matter what I could never forget you " he spoke tears steaming down his face. " Because of my foolishness I hurt my brothers, I allowed myself to hurt Killua, he hates me so much. I tried not letting that pain to get in my way, but it hurts, it hurts so much " he spoke, the other feeling their hearts clench a bit, seeing him so sincere.

" Alluka got banished away, I could of stopped mother and father but I was afraid. I'm forced to see her as if she's not one of us, Milluki and Kalluto for sure hate me as well. I've been a terrible older brother to all my siblings, and for that I don't hate them for hating me. I hate myself to " he spoke his vision getting blurry from all the tears.

" I miss you so God damn much, i always blamed myself for your death. If only you didn't meet me you'll still be alive, father wouldn't have killed you. I want to protect Killua from this pain, i know it's selfish of me to push my brother away from his friends. But-, i don't want him to feel this pain, it hurts, it hurts " he spoke shaking his head as more tears fell down his face.

" I always acted as I didn't care what others said about me, about the pain, about the many times father and mother beat me up. I always acted as I was fine, beside the screaming voices in my head and the way my body ache wanting to give out, i wasn't allowed to be weak I had to be perfect " he spoke as the other felt tears in their eyes.

" I would cry myself to sleep begging the pain to stop and just die, i never let anyone close to me, scared to get too close and they'll die leaving me hallow and in agony. But I meet someone, he's so strange, no matter how rude, cold I am towards him he's never left my side, before I knew it I was comfortable around him, in a way he helped me forget about my pain and heal my once broken heart. He helped me realize I have to forgive myself and I have to move on, turn to the next chapter in my life ".

" So that's why I'm here, I don't expect you to forgive me for not showing up, i come to tell you this even though I know you won't answer me. I also came to apologise to you, as I no longer love you, for i found someone else " he spoke as he looks at the grave.

' i know we promised to be together forever, but you left me. Many would tell me not to love this man, but I can't help it he's always been there for me. Sure he may be annoying, weird, perverted and so such but that's why I love. I love Hisoka Morrow " he spoke as a smile formed across his face.

All of them froze as he said that, Hisoka blushes a bit hearing that. " It's because of him I'm here, I'll never forget you but I must move on, rest in peace my friend " he spoke as he placed a hand on the grave and gets up whipping his cheeks from his tears, " I'll make sure to visit you, i promise " he spoke smiling.

He looks up at the air smiling, a true genuine smile, all were shocked to see that. He began to walk away, not regretting anything he's said.

Okay so I know it's not much of hisoillu, but I thought of this up. As I feel if Illumi ever had issues opening up or just expressing his emotions, i can see this happening. Today is the end of dia de los muertos, originally in mexico we start celebrating on October 30 to November 2, it's honestly a very beautiful holiday. I wanted to write this to give you guys a little something, a while ago I actually figured out I'm a full blood mexican, i always through my mother had mexican blood in her and my biological father had american blood. But figured out he had mexican blood in him too, i didn't know as he did a ging and left, so anyways I hope you enjoy this little story. Part two of the last one shot is in progress, do look out for that.
~ pikatachi 🤗

11/02/2020

Word count; 1093