HER

I'm leaving all this advice to you so you can learn from my mistakes. All the things that my mother couldn't teach me, I will teach you, my love.

***

EPILOGUE

*****

I WOKE UP in the middle of the night, sweat drenching my sheets as I slowly sat up. I was having a bad dream, but the pain coming from my stomach was much worse.

I didn't know how to relieve it - what to do about it. Maybe if I just lied down and slept it off...

I lay back down onto the comfy mattress of my bed, turning onto my side and closing my eyes to fall asleep. The minutes passed by and even though the pain didn't return, I couldn't seem to fall back asleep again.

I sighed and without a second thought, got out of my bed. I crept through the halls of my new apartment, not wanting to wake Morgan up as she was asleep in the other room. She was the one who had insisted on spending the first night with me so I didn't feel lonely.

I thought I was fine since I didn't really get scared of being alone anymore, but after the searing pain from my stomach hit me again, I realised that I wasn't.

I rummaged through the cupboard, looking for my packet of green tea but finding out that I hadn't unpacked it yet. I cursed under my breath and made my way out of the kitchen, wanting to get to the box where I knew it would be, but the pain that shot through md crippled me to the core.

It lasted minutes, leaving me clutching the counter painfully as I gritted my teeth and rocked back and forth. Confusion clouded my mind, but I didn't voice it. I couldn't voice it. I knew if I opened my mouth, nothing except a scream of pain would come out.

I didn't know why this was happening now. I was only thirty-six weeks gone and the false contractions had never been this bad.

I slowly waddled my way towards the bathroom, deciding that a warm bath would soothe me. I ran the tap, stripping out of my clothes as I waited for it to fill up before sinking into the bathtub.

The cramps seemed to have calmed down and I let out a relieved sigh before looking down at my baby bump. The stretch marks were bad and sometimes made me feel self-conscious, but most of the time, I didn't really care. They kind of reminded me of the stripes on a tiger's coat.

My stomach was protruding so far out I couldn't see my toes without bending. I couldn't even see my belly button. I had to place a hand over it just to make sure it was there.

I felt a kick in my stomach and raised a hand to rub the area when the same pain had returned, taking me by surprise. I let out a pained scream, but quickly muffled it and bit my hand instead.

It continued on for longer than a couple minutes. For a second I stopped breathing and I was sure I blacked out before coming back to my senses. I tried to get out of the tub, but another contraction had hit and there was no way I could fight against it. I found myself pushing naturally, squealing painfully at the sensation. I held the rim of the bathtub as I pushed but quickly brought my hand between my legs to find out what was going on.

My heart stopped for a tense second at the feeling of something else's legs coming out of me. Or more rather, someone else.

I was in labour and everything was going sourly wrong. I should have called out for Morgan in that moment, but another contraction had hit and I threw my head back as I tried my best to push as hard as I could.

The water was turning red, but I couldn't get out. The pain was too intense and I didn't want to be walking around with half a baby hanging out of me.

I didn't have it in me to feel for anything. I knew I needed to know how far I was, but I couldn't do it. My heart as thudding fast in my chest and I was on the verge of puking. My skin was riddled with goosebumps from the cold air, but I found that my body was burning up.

It was like something had electrocuted me from the pain that shot up my spine after the next contraction. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to pull through it. I slowly slipped away, time blurring into one as I faded out to black but then the next contractions hit and a scream had tumbled out of my lips, unmuffled and unfiltered.

I wasn't sure if I had pushed or not, but all I knew was that a sudden relief had fallen over me. I had the immense urge to sigh and finally let myself doze off like I had fully intended to before the impromptu birth, but then the realisation had dawned on me. That I had just given birth.

I had just given birth.

My eyes shot open and I let out a relieved sigh at the sight of the baby on my leg instead of completely submerged in the bath water. With delicate fingers, I picked him up, cradling his warm body to my chest.

He wasn't crying or breathing or anything and doubt started to creep into my mind. Wondering if he was dead. Wondering how he was alive if he wasn't breathing.

But then he raised his little fisted hands to his face, kicked out his little leg and squeezed his face together. And then he had let out the loudest cry I had ever heard a baby let out.

I became acutely aware of Morgan who was sleeping in the next room over and the neighbours who could probably hear him from the other side of the paper thin walls and I began to worry again.

“It's okay, baby,” I cooed, holding him tightly. “It's alright now. I've got you now. You're safe with me.”

He peeled his eyelids open and peeked up at me, displaying his light brown eyes as his crying seized for a couple seconds.

But then the bathroom door barged open and I looked towards it at Morgan who looked like someone who had just ran through the fiery pits of hell.

“I heard screaming,” she said breathlessly, her chest heaving up and down.

Almost as if in cue, he had began screaming again, his eyes squeezed shut and his face scrunched up. Morgan's eyes shifted from mine to the bundle in my arms and realisation seemed to have dawned on her in that moment.

She stared at him in shock, not doing anything except for standing at the door and just watching before suddenly jumping into action.

“Jesus Christ, Araceli. You need to wrap him up,” she said, picking up the cotton nightgown I had left on the counter in the bathroom. She approached us and carefully, with trembling fingers, wrapped the garment around him as I held him in my arms.

“Isn't he beautiful?” I found myself whispering, still enchanted by the screaming baby in my arms.

“He is,” she mumbled, placing a delicate hand on my shoulder before pulling away. “I'll get you something to wear and then after that we can get the both of you to the hospital. Okay?”

“Okay.”

But I had heard nothing she said because I was holding my whole entire world in my arms. My Mateo.

My baby.

*****

And that's on fuck 2020.

I just want to say thank you all for sticking with this book. Thank you all for sticking with me. And thank you all for not giving up on me.

I don't know if yall understand how much all 9K of you guys mean to me, but believe me when I say it's a lot. This has grown exponentially considering when I started and when I finished and by all means, I'll admit, it was a rushed project.

But I'm so glad I can look back and cringe at the bullshit I've written because it shows how much I've grown as a writer and as a person. And I'm blessed to even experience that.

You can stop reading the story here. I made sure to end it on a positive note so those of yall who don't want to continue the journey don't have to and can still have a happy ending.

I think it's important to know though that the story does NOT end here. I had never intended for the story to end here EVER but it got lengthy so I had to split the book.

There are so many loose ends and unanswered questions that are going to be addressed in the second book. Araceli isn't where I want her to be in terms of character development yet - she's still not independent.

And Daniel either needs to save himself from this mess or be tortured and killed. We also still don't fully know him either. 72 whole chapters and he's still a complete mystery to us.

His character is so deep and I wouldn't be doing him justice by ending it here. But if none of that appeals to you, that's fine. Carry on with your day.

Now if you want to see what happens after two years, then head on over to the second book which is available on my profile. I'll post the A/N with all the deets by tomorrow.

Again, I love you and appreciate you all. Including all the silent ones and the loud ones.

Signing out for the last time

Ommy xx