"Where are we going?" I heard Leslie ask as I took her hand and led her towards the beach.

I took a path that allowed for easy walking. I heard her surprise intake of awe-filled breath as she came face to face with the splendour of the scenery before her.

"It's absolutely beautiful," I returned but my reply had nothing to do with the majestic display of nature that was sprawled out in all its glory before us.

I stared at her as she stood lost in the splendour of rippling waters that beat upon the rocky shores beneath the boardwalk on which we stood. I had eyes only for her as she drank in the vast array of blue water that seems to capture the essence of the cloudless sky in its clear depths.

All I could see as she stared out at the horizon where it seemed the sea and the sky intertwined to become one, was her lovely radiance.

"It's breathtaking," I breathe, feeling my loins leap to life again.

"Yes, very breathtaking," she said in agreement unaware of where my awe lay. "Look at it Daniel, have you ever seen anything so pure?"

I wanted to express myself. Tell her how I felt. Lay all my cards out on the table. I was still filled with the sweet rapture of her protecting me and it dawned on me that her walking into me at the villa was her doing the same. I knew she cared for me. I saw it written as clear as day on her face earlier but even though it was there I had to go slow for now.

She reached for my hand and pulled me close to her side. I like the feel of her against me. I wanted to kiss her, to savour the sweet taste of her but I just stood there and basked in the tranquillity of the beautiful night and her company.

We stood there looking out at the now calm beach, the half-moon making the water mysterious and beguiling. It was like a mythical creature lying in wait for the right conqueror to set upon its intriguing depths and claim her so that she could share her power, reveal her deepest secrets, and just let go.

"It is so perfect. It's like a well-polished board floor. It's like yuh can just walk on it," she said in deep admiration. "I wouldn't be surprised if a water Mumma came out and beckon to us."

"Better not as I don't want to be taken away from you," I replied looking out at the sea.

"Well they say she cyaah steal the heart of a man that's in love," she returned softly and my heart fluttered in my chest.

Now was the time to reveal what I felt for her but instead I turned her around and took the kiss that I wanted so badly. I let my mouth feast upon her drinking from the honey depth.

I sigh as she responds to my need with a need of her own. She pressed her body into mine and I knew if we were anywhere but here we would be making love right now. I was close to throwing caution to the wind and taking from her what I needed and what she so wanted to give.

I was always a rational person but my wife made me irrational. She drove my senses away and created a lovesick fool. I pulled away and heard her groan before saying.

"Don't stop."

"Believe me Leslie I don't want to."

"But?"

"It's for the best."

She gave a humourless laugh and I knew she was now upset.

"Best for what?" she glared at me. "I am already pregnant so there is no fear of that, we are legally married so I am your wife, and we both want to. So?!"

"I think it's time we go," I replied softly.

"Yeah."

We walked back to the car and I helped her in, the silence of the ride that accompanied our arrival here was repeated as we pulled out and headed onto the main road.

The bustling city night radiated to us through the open car window. It brought with it the variety of delicious meats being jerked. The cool night air causes the lingering scents of foods wafting on the breeze from various outdoor cooking establishments that dotted the busy night scene to fill the car's interior.

As we drove on sounds of dancehall and reggae music blared out to the maximum capacity from sound boxes and other musical implements. We passed a street dance in full swing and I had to slow down while a couple gyrated in the middle road -much to the onlookers' delight- to the music that was being blasted.

"They sure are having fun," I said as we made it away from the ongoing dance.

"Hhhmmm," was her uninterested reply.

"Have you ever been to any dance before or are you a church girl?" I persist.

"Yes to both," she replied, placing her hand on her stomach in that familiar fashion she had come to adopt.

"Bad gyal I see," I tease wanting to smooth out the animosity between us.

"My mother owned a bar where she was either having round robins or keeping some dance, there was always some form of entertainment," she told me. "We live upstairs the establishment so I had the first-hand experience of the happenings of such event."

"Ooo, so how did you end up being a church girl?" I queried wanting to know more about her.

She gave a little laugh. "One thing Ilene Forester did was ensure that every Sunday my siblings and I were at Sunday school, one thing that couldn't be said was that Ma kept her children away from God. She made sure every Sunday the bar was closed and off to church she sent us even if she never once came."

"So where's your mother and other siblings?"

"Dead."

I looked over at her and saw her hand further tighten about her belly with the protectiveness that I saw her displayed on various occasions.

I thought she had finished speaking when she continued. " She died three weeks after I graduated from High School. I remember how happy she was. She was so proud of me."

"I am so sorry Leslie," I said sincerely. I lost a parent too even if the circumstance was different but a loss nonetheless.

"I never wanted to go to the concert that night but she insisted I took Ian and let Allie help her in the bar so that Kim could stay with baby Dwight who was teething and quite miserable. I was so upset with her that I left and never said goodbye,'' her voice trailed off. "I lost my whole family to a fire that no one knew how it was even started. Ian and I were left alone."

There was silence again and I wanted to say something to ease her pain and offer comfort but all I could say was, "Sorry."

"Don't be. Ilene Forester was a selfish woman and she died because she wouldn't leave people man alone. I knew she was killed because of her affair with Dweight's father."

I parked the car and we sat there for a while. She turned to me and said softly.

"Many nights coming from church I would see them in his van not caring that he was married and have a family of his own."

She sighed and shook her head. "It didn't bother her that she had five of us with no father. All she wanted was to get money to keep her looking all flashy and in the latest style, no matter who the man was that was giving it.

I remembered the nasty fight she had with Dwight's father's wife one night when she followed her husband to the bar. Man the embarrassment and shame. I cannot forget how she told my mother she was going to kill her and make her bastard pickney dem suffa."

I listened with a heavy heart remembering how it had felt to see the hurt, pain, and self-pity my mother had suffered when she found out about my father's affair with Sonia. The way she had lost herself when he actually left them for her.

"People can be very selfish Leslie, but you must not blame yourself for the choices your mother made."

"I don't blame myself. I blame her. I blame her for taking away the only family Ian and I had. My child will never know his/her aunts and uncles because they were sacrificed, their life taken away because she was too greedy and selfish."

I felt low as I sat there. I created a child with this woman and I took her on a path that I crafted to satisfy my desire. I never once thought how she felt about any of the things I did because I told myself I was doing it for our child.

When we got out of the car and made it to the elevator I wish I had known the extent of her past and why she had decided to make me a part of her life too. When I had thought about the baby and my desire for her she had thought about all of us.

Once again I found myself tangled and not sure how to effectively release myself. Instead, I let silence fill the space around us once again as I chide myself quietly for my selfishness.

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Hi...how have you been?

Now just when you thought the magic was going to last there goes the Princess's Prince charming getting cold feet...sigh.

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