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A A R A V

"I'm sure you could do better than crash my first date with your sister!" Abeer cried, but not that I cared. Myra rolled her eyes as she slouched more in the corner of my room and Abeer paced around.

"Are you even listening to me?" I ask, rolling my eyes. "I just told you that I told Ruhaana that I like Kaira and all you care about is your incomplete date?" I fake anger.

"Arrey, acha hai na! You've told a girl only that you like her, not some guy. Then what do I have to do with it?"

I sighed. "But the point being, I don't like Kaira. I just said it!"

"And why did you just say it?" Myra asked, finally speaking up.

"I— I don't know." I lied.

"You know!" He blamed. Having a best friend sucked. The world sucked. Everything I know sucks. "You know what, go take a chill. Wear your gloves on, punch something and figure your mind out. We can talk about this when you're ready too. No force here!" Myra said and I sighed, nodding.

She was perhaps right.

She got up, coming ahead and giving me a big hug. "I'd be there for you too. I'm just a call away when you need me. Calm your mind," She whispered, and I gave her a nod as she walked out of the room.

Abeer got up behind her, walking to me and waiting until the door closed as Myra left. "She doesn't know, does she?" He asked.

I nodded negatively. "No one knows except you and me. Let it be that way." I sigh.

"Imagine the betrayal she'd feel when she gets to know her twin hid such a thing from her," he said, patting my back. "She has the right to know," He whispered before leaving too.

An irritating wave passed through my body as I turned around and punched the table behind hard, shattering the glass.

He was right. Myra had the right to know. But I didn't know what to tell her, how to explain her what happened in her absence.

A little piece of glass stuck between my fingers, bleeding as I pulled it out but I couldn't care more or less. I opened my drawers, took my gloves, wore them as I opened the door to my second room, where I always practiced kick boxing.

Everyone knew I loved kickboxing. But no one knew the real reason.

It was to forget the wrong choices I had made.

Unknowingly, we all choose escapes. We all want to escape something, some people want to escape the reality, others their problems. I had to escape the ghost of wrong choices that I made, which was haunting me for years now.

My choice to leave India and go to London again. My choice to leave my family, my happiness— everything right here and move away. And so many more choices I can't even state of, so many regrets in me.

But the biggest regret? Ruhaana.

She wasn't a regret, actually. Not choosing her was one.

It all started when were sixteen. I, Abeer and Ishan were visiting for two weeks since we had our holidays in London. The girls had just given their tenth board exam here, giving them a three month long holiday.

Myra wasn't there. She was out on a camp for ten days. For everyone else, it was pretty justified. She had just given her board exam, had other school friends who were going out on tour and she went with them. A perfect setup. But I wasn't buying that. Not when I knew she suddenly kept getting interests in these tours and camps only when we boys were visiting. And I did know what happened with Abeer and her.

I was frustrated. I missed my twin sister, though I would have never accepted that to her. I missed her, I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to know her side of the story. I was her brother before being Abeer's twin. I wanted my answers.

And so that one mad day, I decided to ask the driver to drive me to Ruhaana's. I could have asked to gone to Kaira too, but she was very close to Abeer. So Myra always ended up sharing more with Ruhaana when it came to things about Abeer, I assumed.

And that was when it all started.

" You can't question me Aarav! You can't ask me why your sister loves Abeer? It's just love, and Love just happens. You don't get to choose whom you fall in love with!" She had retaliated instantly, leaving me stunned.

"She loves him?" I had asked back, shocked.

"She has never accepted it, but hasn't denied it either," Ruhaana nodded, turning away from me. Although she wouldn't say, I knew there was so much more to this.

"Love cant happen at twelve! That's ridiculous," I mocked.

"That's not ridiculous. Science says you need just seven seconds to fall in love with someone, they had twelve years together!" She argued.

"Twelve years together?" I mock laughed. "They were thirteen, Ruhaana. Do you hear yourself? She had four years after we left to move on. It's not love!"

"You're in denial, Abeer. And she's in denial too. You say this isn't love because love has never happened to you, the day you'd fall in love, everything will change for you. And you'd see Love the way I'm seeing it."

"You're seeing it? Does that mean you've been in love?" I ask, suddenly curious.

"No!" She shrugged, "But I've read about it in books and stuff. You totally know what I mean."

I didn't.

I sighed, stepping away.

Ishaan always had a crush on Ruhaana when we were in India, and I knew that. What if Ruhaana liked him too, and all these great things she was speaking about love came from those feelings?

"What do you think about Ishaan?" I asked. She was startled, amusement ran in her veins.

"You're random!" She pushed the topic away, smiling.

"And you're hiding something," I turned back to her. She smiled, shrugging as she nodded negatively.

"I'm planning to go to this camp of seven days. Wanna come along?" I asked. She squeezed her eyebrows at me, confused. "Ishan's going to be there too," I added. "Kaira's away with an Interior Designing course, and Myra's already not in town. Leaves just the four of us, but Abeer won't come anywhere— says he'd wait, what if Myra turns up while we're gone?"

"Oh." She said, slowly. "Ishan's coming too," she mumbled to herself, "fine, I'd ask mom and Dad once, but I'm in too."

"Perfect," I mumbled. "You're coming 'cause he's coming?" I raised an eyebrow.

"No, not that way," she laughed. "Just you and me for seven days would be boring!"

"Oh," I say, teasing her. "I thought you like him or something, you know......" I teased, "so I was going to suggest a good way to make him jealous."

"What way?" She asked, suddenly attentive.

"Date me!" I said, casually and her eyes widened.

"What?" She almost shouted. I sighed.

"I mean, your work would be to make Ishan jealous. Mine would be to restore the cool statues that I'm on a tour with my girlfriend. Two shots with one arrow," I suggested. She looked hesitant for a minute, but then she smiled, nodding.

"Deal?" I asked, giving her my hand.

"Deal." She agreed, taking mine.

But life doesn't always work out the way you plan it to, right?

A camp of seven days. Us pretending to be in a relationship. We kept sticking together, sitting together in buses, kissing her in truth & dares, dealing with a jealous Ishan. After day 4, I realised I wasn't pretending anymore. It came out naturally. I naturally walked in to her room early in the morning to hug her a good morning even when no one was seeing, I was used to making her eat breakfast when she threw tantrums of not being hungry, I was used to being with her anywhere we go, clicking pictures at all times. I wasn't pretending anymore, it all was coming to me naturally.

And that was when I knew I had fucked up, when I looked into her eyes on the last day and saw the fear in them, the same fear that I had since the past two days, that the trip would be over and it would all come to an end. That was when I knew I wasn't the only one feeling different about us, about the little game we were playing— about the deal.

We had fucked up, and nothing was going to be the same again.

But I didn't want to be another Abeer, I didn't want to leave her making stupid promises I wouldn't be able to keep, and I didn't want to leave another Myra who kept ignoring everyone. I didn't want to lose the friend in her.

So I suppressed the feelings. I didn't let them rise much. I saw her being hurt but I knew it was good for the both of us, in later run.

And it turned out to be good. We acted like friends when we got back home, as if nothing had changed between us. But in real, everything had changed.

"Aarav!"

"Your hand is bleeding, Aarav, stop it!"

Nothing was being the same again and I sensed that every time she came to my house and her eyes searched for mine before Myra's, everytime I wanted to see her and ignore her at the same time, everytime I couldn't stop myself because I wanted to hug her and hold her at every point I could but I couldn't because she wasn't mine to hold and love, she belonged to someone else, to anyone else except me.

"AARAV, STOP!"

One last punch and the punching bag went flying out of its hook, tumbling to the ground as some sand came out, falling to the ground. I took a deep breath, wiping the sweat off my hair and head when my eyes finally fell onto my hand.

My anger subsided and the pain I had been ignoring came running to me, the sight of all the blood on my hand made me sick.

"Shit," I whispered, as realisation dawned on me.

"Yes, shit!" I heard a panicked mock and turned on my side to see Ruhaana staring at me. All that blood loss was making me hallucinate things.

My vision blurred as I stumbled a bit and she was immediately by my side, giving me support. I could barely see anything, but the next I could make out was that she was making me sit on the chair in my room.

"Are you really here?" I asked, dazed.

"Not now, Aarav, please. You need medication," she said. "Kaira, please call Nandini Aunty," she shouted and my eyes fell on Kaira standing behind me. Had she been here all this while? Then why couldn't I see her?

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Now now!" She scolded, tying a white towel on my hand. I smiled. She cared.

My hand gently touched her hair and pushed it behind her ear, and she stared at me, bewildered. "Are you going nuts?" She almost shouted.

I smiled more, nodding negatively. The blood flow stopped, and I felt my vision restoring. Everything was making more sense now.

"No one's home!" Kaira came back running to my room. I didn't want to say more, so I simply showed a thumbs up, telling I'm fine.

"Like hell are you Fine!" She shouted. "I'm going to go drive the doctor here, you're in no condition to walk out," she ordered, leaving.

Huh?

Ruhaana came back, with a box in her hand. She had worn her black specs and a white practice coat, in her doctor mode.

She examined my wound, taking both my hand in hers. "The glass was pierced way inside, and you punching with the same hand has pushed it deeper. We'll have to pluck it out, it's painful," she whispered, her eyes not leaving the cuts on my right hand,

"How did you come here?" I asked, again.

She glared at me, "is that all what you care about?"

"Apparently," I shrugged. She sighed.

" I was on my way, to study with Myra. But she messaged saying she'll take a little longer, she and Abeer were stuck in traffic. So I took a u-turn and went to check on Kaira when she called again, saying she was worried. You weren't picking up the phone and she could feel something was wrong, something about how twins can always sense if there's something wrong with each other. That is why I and Kaira rushed in to check on you and I'm so glad we did. If we had been even a few minutes late....," she said and I nodded. It made sense.

"My hand pains," I whimper.

She glared at me more. "So you finally realise that, asshole?"

"Ouch."

"We have to wait for the doctor," she informed, sighing.

"You are a doctor," I reminded.

"Not yet, I've just completed the third year," she immediately replied.

"You can do this," I say, slowly. She instantly nodded negatively, "You're mad! I can't. I— I can't, I'm not eligible, this isn't even legal. I've only tried to do this on corpses, I'll hurt you," she stammered.

"It's paining," I repeated, "Do it."

She held the tongs with shaking hands, I could see the tears in her eyes.

"If this makes it any better, I have faith in you," I whisper. She looks at me, puppy eyes.

"One wrong move, and you could lose your hand. A little more blood loss, and your life is at stake," she said, sternly. "How can I trust myself?"

"Don't trust yourself if you can't. But I do." I whisper, my vision blurring again.

"If you live through this, I promise I'll tell you what I feel," she was on the verge of crying. I guess she already did, "I'll tell you what actually happened on that trip."

"It was just one week. We promised we'd never talk about it again!" I snapped, and her eyes glistened, watering up.

"Then why are you here? Why are you back into my life when I finally took a step ahead to move on. Why are you breaking me again, Aarav?" Her voice broke down, piercing my heart as I left her hand.

"We promised, there would be no strings attached. It was a deal." I implemented.

"We promised it would be just one week of us, Aarav. But that one week broke me, completely!" A tear drop slipped off her eye. I wish I could tell her how I felt the same.

"Then give me one more week!" I whisper, and she looked at me, shocked. "Operate me successfully, and give me another week, please."

"Give me one more week to collect all your broken pieces and mend what I had broken years back. Let me be there, again; and no go this time, remedy for the mistake I made five years ago," I propose.

She stares at me for a blank minute before she takes a step ahead, and looks into my eyes. "Such deals never work good for us.," she says, taking my hurt hand a pressing the tong inside, taking out the first piece of glass.

"I have a feeling that this one would work out good," I whisper back.

She looks up for a second, my eyes holding hers, "Deal."

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Kaira plays a very big role in Aarav's POV and so does Ruhaana. So I'm not going to tell which of them is the endgame, yet.

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