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M Y R A

"Us!"

"What about us?" I said, trying to maintain my calm but internally, my heart was beating faster in my mouth and I could feel the adrenaline rush at the possibilities of his answers.

"This is.... beautiful," he said, looking around. The varanda was lit up in the dark with warm yellow lights and the jhoola in the centre had fake pumpkin lights and candles. It was beautiful, really.

"Thank you," I say, admiring my work. He stood by the rails, looking out at the city lights. We stayed uptown, from where a clear view of the city, lit up at night was visible.

"You've done this?" He asks, as I follow him.

"Yes" I say, smiling. "I always loved interior decor, like Kaira," I inform. I thought he must be remembering this much atleast.

"Oh I do remember," he said, and my heart lit up. "I don't understand why you did doctory when you had so much scope in architecture?" He asked.

I gulp. To forget you. "I just.... like studying," I say, searching for better excuses to add but none came up.

He nodded and it all went silent, again; an awkward breeze covering the atmosphere. He kept looking around and I stared at the city lights, trying to find words to catch up.

"You always wanted a career in kickboxing" I accuse.

"And that's until I realised that Aarav was better than me at it." He laughed to himself. However, I didn't find it amusing to say the least.

"I'm surprised you remember, though" he added. I wish I could say how I didn't forget anything, although I spent nights trying to.

"I was a kid, a stupid one if I might add. And as kids, we do dumb things," he said. My heart almost stopped beating for a second when I realised it wasn't kickboxing he was talking about anymore. It was us and the intensity with which he looked at me said just that.

"We do" I added, trying to play it cool.

"Right. So...." his voice faded, loss of words.

"So...." I repeated.

"I don't know. I just, you know, wanted to talk it out. We're being awkward, I can sense that. I just wanted to lighten it up a bit..." he said. I nod.

"Right." If he can put a step ahead, I can too. "So how've you been?"

"I've been... great." He smiled, "I tried talking to you, a lot of times. But whenever I came back to India, you were mostly away with camps. I even tried wishing you for your birthday once but it never happened. I tried."

"Maybe you just didn't try enough," I whispered under my breath, to myself. I didn't have the strength to tell him that.

"You could have tried to," He whispered back, taking me off guard. I was shocked he heard it, as my face flushed in red.

"I didn't," I lie, biting my lower lip. Don't cry, Myra. Only if he knew how hard I tried to stay in contact for as long as I knew before he had his first girlfriend and then I knew it all never meant anything to him. Maybe it was time I moved on to but there was something, I couldn't take it out of my mind. I couldn't take him out of my mind. And then, instead of trying to stay in touch, I tried to block him out as much as I could. I never planned upon falling for him as deeply as I did. He was just supposed to be a mere School infatuation, not the man my heart beats for.

"Have you been fine?" He asks. I put on a smile, trying to be the best me.

"Yes. Life's been great. I've got amazing friends, family, everything," I smile. Which was not wrong at all. I've got the world's best parents and friends. No complaints.

"That's amazing. You're not the immature girl anymore. You've matured so much. Still believe in prince charmings?" He asked. I don't believe his nerve. Jerk.

"Of course I do. Being mature doesn't mean to stop believing in fairy tales," I smile, defensive.

"Damn. Still that same arrogance if someone calls your fairytales stupid." He chuckled and I giggled as well.

"So who's your Prince Charming now?" He asked, teasing. The smile on his face toxic to my beating heart.

"Well..." I trail off. I wasn't lying. But there was no way I could say the truth either. "Someone" I smile. It was him, always.

"Oh" his smile disappears. "That's nice... I'm happy for you" He stammers. That's not how I meant it but okay.

"And you?" I ask.

"Well, I am not waiting for a Prince Charming," he says, arrogant as hell. I roll my eyes.

He laughed. "I'm not waiting for a princess either" he laughed more. "I have one and that's enough" he said, looking into my eyes as all the laughter died.

"So the playboy's settled on one?" I try to keep the smirk on but fail. I felt nervous and sweaty.

"Who told you I'm a playboy?" He asked, curious.

"Everyone?" I answer, obviously. "Uh, Kaira, Aarav, your parents....." I try to justify.

"They don't know me!" He cut me off, annoyed at something I don't know. "They know what they see, they don't what it actually is!" He justifies, and there's a sudden hope in my heart.

"I mean, I've had a lot of girlfriends but that doesn't make me a playboy," he justified. And all the hope died again.

"That does make you a playboy, Abeer," I point out. He sighs.

"Whatever" He was pissed. And I was pissed too.

"You know, that's the problem about guys like you." I was irritated as hell, "you play with a girl's emotions and act like you're a fucking saint. You have had girlfriends, meant you did have girls who seriously liked you and you just moved on like they were tissue papers, leaving them where you used them. And then you say you're not a playboy?" I whisper shout.

He was taken aback. "Myra..." He whispered, his hands trying to hold my arms but I jerked them away. I didn't know if I was speaking for the girls he used or the feelings I have hidden in me for so long.

"Do you ever care about them, Abeer? Or is it just a one time with you? Like do you even feel something in your heart, when you know there are girl's who's heart you've broken and they cry themselves to sleep at night because of you. I feel so bad for every girl who liked you. Ever!" I was on the verge of crying now.

"Shit!" He whispers to himself. "I knew it, I knew it since I came here damn it!" He said to himself, as he frustratedly ran his hand through his hair, moving around in his place, and I stood there numb, rooted. My hands covered my mouth, shocked. What had I just spoken?

"You weren't speaking about any girl I dated. You were speaking about yourself!" He accused. I nod negatively, my hand still covering my mouth as I was trying to drink in the emerging tears.

"No, it's not that. I just got carried away. I'm sorry, it's your life, your rules," I try covering but the damage was done.

"No!" He held my arms, pinning me behind as an unknown anger filled his eyes.

"Tell me the truth first," he said, his eyes looking into mine and I looked away. "It's hurting," I whisper, and his hands push me behind more.

My hand in reflex held his arms, my nails digging into his skin but he didn't even blink an eye. He stood there, his eyes searching answers into mine when it should be me who should do this and be angry, not him.

"Don't be stupid Abeer, there's no truth. I told you I got carried away!" I justify. I'm not letting the walls I had built over the years just get broken by one conversation.

"Tell me, Myra. Have you still not moved on from the conversation we had when we were twelve?" He asked. He made it sound like it was dumb which it was, I mean, which girl can be stupid to love a boy who made her promises when they were twelve?

And it's not that I liked him because of that. I just couldn't move on. I found myself too deep into liking him to ever return. I tried a lot, but I couldn't.

"Don't be stupid, Abeer. We were twelve!" I shout back, looking straight into his eyes. His hand left my arm and he moved a step behind as I breathed in relief, almost panting.

"So you have moved on..." he said, as if confirming. No.

"So have you!" I reply, dodging the question.

He nodded, looking away. "I'm sorry. And that's... great!" He said, not looking at me anymore as he walked out.

"Abeer!" I say, stopping him. He didn't turn, he just halted midway. My heart felt heavy and full of so many things, I felt like I wanted to cry. I felt vulnerable but I didn't want to all weak. I was in a fix, as if standing at crossroads.

"I... am sorry," I said.

"Why?" He turned back, walking towards me.

"I don't know. I just am" I say, the truth.

"I'm sorry too!" He said.

"Why?" I ask, too.

"I have a reason," he says, "for whatever happened years back, before I left. I was being an asshole. I am sorry, it shouldn't have happened."

I just stare at him for a blank minute. "You're sorry for what happened? You regret telling me that you liked me that day?" I accuse.

"That's now how I meant it. I'm just sorry. We were good how we were and the day before going I just got up and decided to fuck things up" he said.

Tears I had been hiding rise to my eye and this time I take no efforts in hiding it. I was just so tired in this constant struggle between liking him and moving on from our stupid childhood. "You know what..." I whispered.

"You were not an asshole then. But you are being an asshole now!" I grit, and just as one tear flows down, I walk away.

"Myra!" He calls after me but I don't stop. I wipe the tear and keep walking.

"And now you're confusing me!" He blames. I was so done.

"Myra! Stop for fuck's sake!" He shouts and his fading voice was the last thing I heard before I almost jogged out and rushed into my room.

It was great that my room was close to the varanda as I always wanted it, I couldn't afford letting anyone see me cry, especially now my twin or ishan. I didn't want them to take stands in Friendship, and I didn't want to break their bro zone because I clear as hell knew Aarav would stand with me without a second thought.

As I went into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror, with tears streaming down my eyes, I felt weak. I clearly didn't know why I was crying. I just felt tired. I wanted someone to either tell me to hold on or to help me move on. I had been fighting this feeling away for years in my heart and I was tired beyond words. I just felt weak, something I didn't like feeling.

I felt heartbroken but I was also happy. This was the pep I needed, my one last conversation to move on. I think this was what I was lacking since years for now.

I got up, wiping my tears and washing my face, giving myself a confident nod before I walked out again.

My friends were still around in the circle, playing that game. And just as I walked in, Abeer came in too.

They looked up at us, surprised to see us walk in from two different directions.

Abeer looked at me, but avoiding his gaze, I went and sat with them, smiling. From the corner of my eyes, I knew he was pissed but he joined us anyway.

"You fine?" Aarav whispered to me. I smiled, nodding.

"So, did Abeer tell you?" He asked, and I was confused. "Tell me what?"

"I don't know. He's been wanting to talk to you since we came about the thing when we went to
London from Indi—" Aarav's voice faded when we saw Cabir Uncle and Dad walk in.

They were amazing friends, and I always wished for a friendship like them. They were like buddies from college, been with each other in every phase of their life. Dad always says he wouldn't be where he is if not for Cabir Uncle and Cabir Uncle tells me the same.

"Myra," Dad called. I got up, and walk to them, where they sat at the side bar.

Abeer and Aarav follow me, but move towards the other side, pouring themselves a drink.

"Are you free tomorrow?" He asks. I was confused. "I just have practical in the morning," I tell them, confused as though why they wanted to know.

Cabir Uncle smiled but Dad seemed disinterested. "That's great. Because there is someone coming to see you tomorrow afternoon!" Cabir Uncle said.

"See me? Why?" I ask, confused again.

I turn behind to see Abeer looking at me with intent eyes, my eyes met his and his met mine, an unknown emotion and unsaid words flowing through.

"For marriage!" Cabir Uncle enlightened and my eyes widened but there was a crackling sound and we three turned around to see the shattered glass on the floor that fell off from Abeer's hands.

~•~

Hope it wasn't boring and it's keeping you entertained.

Did you like Myra and Abeer's conversation?

What do you think's gonna happen next? ;)

Please comment for sooner updates. Take care and stay safe everyone!

Love,
Heer.