~•~

He is fire, I am ice,
One glimpse of him,
ignites my stone cold eyes.
The heat of his body
melts the frozen parts of my heart,
I can walk through flames,
just to feel his warmth.

N A N D I N I

Has it happened to you that the person you love the most in the world turns out to be nothing but a stranger?

Has it happened that someone broke your heart in a million pieces, but your stupid heart now just as a million different pieces to love him in a million different ways?

I was probably going through worst. He was trying to heal me, and he broke me accidentally. He was trying to love me, but he ended up becoming a stranger. He was trying be mine, and I ended up losing him.

"Nandini!" His voice played in my ears making me smile as I lazily picked up my hand showing off the beer bottle as I took another deep sip.

"Hi Manik! Look at me, I am shiningggg!" I shouted as the world twisted around me and I held the bottle higher, with the fairy lights of his terrace falling upon me, making me shine.

Carefully collecting all the empty beer bottles, I happily sat in the corner, counting them.

"Nandini!" His voice again played in my ears and I laughed louder.

"Sssshhhh!" I screamed to myself. "Tum kuch bolo math Manik! I know ke tum jhoot ho, I will look up and tum gaayab ho jaoge. And if you want to talk to me, you have to stop playing this hide and seek game!" I scolded the air as I emptied another beer bottle.

I never knew being drunk was so much fun. Now I understand why road side aashiqs love drinking so much. Pata hai kya hota hai? Everywhere you can just see your love, and you can just hear their voices.

So nice, nahi? *hiccup*

"Nandini, princess. Look up, see it's me. Your monster....", I heard the same whisper again and I closed my eyes tighter as I pouted.

I slowly opened my one eye, and then my other. And to my surprise, Manik was still there. He didn't go anywhere.

And he looked so perfect. He wore a white shirt and black pants and perfectly gelled hair with his Rolex watch still on his wrist as he smiled at me, brightly.

"Manik!" My eyes twinkled as I clapped my hands excitedly, getting up. Seeing him after a long time was just like giving shelter to a homeless, money to a beggar, food to a wanderer, crown to a princess and so many more things! *hiccup*

He gave his hand ahead and I looked at him confused.

"Princess, dance with me?" He asked me and I smiled. But then another thought cross my mind and I pouted, looking away.

"Nahi! Tum bohot bure ho. You just left me, Manik Fucking Malhotra! Mein tumse baat nahi kar rahi!" I cried as tears welled in my eyes at the thought of how he left me abandoned, at how he simply asked me to move on.

"Nandini, we will fight after some time, princess. Mere paas bohot kam time hai, dance with me now!" He whispered and I nodded as I kept my hand in his.

I was always amazed at the fact how my hand perfectly fit in his, even though he was a giant monster and I was just as tiny as an ant. Our hands fit in as if the missing pieces of jigsaw puzzle.

Paas aaye..
Dooriyaan phir bhi kam naa hui
Ek adhuri si hamari kahani rahi

"Manik...", I whispered as he pulled me close, his hands lingering around my waist and I smiled, snuggling more into his shirt.

"Sab keh rahe hai tum mujhe chod ke chale jaoge. Is that true, will you actually leave me and go away?" I asked sadly and he just smiled as his lips brushed my forehead, causing the tingling sensation to spread everywhere in my body.

Aasmaan ko zameen, ye zaroori nahi
Jaa mile.. jaa mile..
Ishq saccha wahi
Jisko milti nahi manzilein.. manzilein..

"I might leave, but will I die for you too just like I will die for everyone else?" He asked and I felt a hole form in my heart as I hysterically nodded my head negatively.

Late Manik Malhotra. The name haunts me.

"Nandini, MaNan is Hamesha, right?" He asked and I nodded as his thumb brushed my cheeks, wiping away my tears.

Rang thhe, noor tha
Jab kareeb tu tha
Ek jannat sa tha, yeh jahaan

"Then? Even after dying, I will never die. Because I will live in your heart, hamesha....", he whispered and I nodded in understanding, as the tears fell off my eyes.

As a child, I always hated fairy tales, because they were never real. Fairy tales always had a happy ending, which in real life doesn't happen. Real life is tougher, and even the most beautiful stories end in grave, end with death.

Waqt ki ret pe kuch mere naam sa
Likh ke chhod gaya tu kahaan

"Until one of us is living, we both are living. Mein har jaga tumhaare saath hu. In this house, on the bed, in the office, in the bed, within the clothes of mine you wear, in the music you listen, the guitar you play, and most importantly, in your heart.", he smiled and I cried more.

But when it comes to me, I become selfish. Now I know why people in love want a happy ending, why every fairy tale always ends on a happy note.

Hamari adhuri kahani..
Hamari adhuri kahani..

"But Manik, we both can be together also naa. You can come back, Manik. I don't want you everywhere, I just want you with me. Tum hamesha kehte ho na that my love for you is selfless, but it is not true Manik. I am very selfish, and I can't share you with anybody, not even death.....", I cried holding his shirt tighter as he held me tightly in his arms.

"Not everything is supposed to be our way Nandini, not everything happens the way we want. Shayad I have to go away, and shayad you have to live, for both of us. You have to take my company ahead, you have to become a musician, you have to shine. You have to shine brighter than the star in the night sky, princess. Only then, I will be able to go in peace....", he kissed my forehead as he made me lie down and I hugged him, burring my head in his chest.

Because maybe, deep down even I knew that he wouldn't be there when I open my eyes. I didn't want to sleep, I wanted to enjoy my last moments with him. I wanted to collect them, and cherish them, forever.

"Jab tak hum dono mein se kisi ek ki saansein chal rahi hai, MaNan zinda hai.", he kissed my forehead again and everything around me got heavier as the world spinned and everything blackened.

"But Manik, you promised me a fairy tale. And the Prince Charming never dies in a fairy tale....", I blabbered in sleep as I battled my eye lashes to see him for the last time.

"Maybe because I never wanted to be a Prince Charming, I always wanted to be the monster. Your monster.....", I heard his last whisper before everything in front of me blanked out and I hugged him tighter.

*Ring*
*Ring*
*Ring*

"Manikkk, can you please check the fucking phone?!" I cried shouting loud as I pulled the blanket over myself even tighter.

*Ring*

"Manikkk!" I irritatedly called rubbing my eyes as I got up and reality hit me like a strong wave against the shore.

I looked around to see I was still at the terrace, and I had fallen asleep hugging Manik's shirt. The empty beer bottles lied everywhere around me and I smelled of alcohol as my head blasted of the after effects.

3:40 AM

Before even touching my phone, my heart started beating louder. No Manik, you can't give up easily.

This can't be the end Manik, please no.

Cabir. The phone said.

I closed my eyes tighter and the hole formed again as tears escaped my eyes. I should have never agreed to come home in the first place, I should have stayed with him.

Please let it be any good news.
Let him tell me Manik is out from coma.
Or he is recovering.

Or even a lame reason like he is missing me will work, but I can't handle the news of losing Manik.

"Hello...", my voice cracked just as I picked the phone and a sob escaped from the other end as my heart broke in pieces. Cabir crying was definitely not a good news.

"Nandini, come fast. He needs you....", Cabir's voice was not even a whisper. It cracked after each word as a tsunami of feelings hit me.

"What's wrong?" I couraged to ask holding my heart on my sleeves as I ran downstairs and grabbed the car keys.

"It's not really the best thing to tell on phone. We're waiting, time bohot kam hai. Please make it here as soon as possible....", he said and the phone dropped from my hand as I ignited the car engine.

I sharp cry left my mouth as I covered my face with my hands.

This can't be the end, you fucking moron Malhotra.

I rushed through the empty streets with pain in my head and tears in my eyes as the vision blurred everywhere every now and then.

Instead of driving safely, I somewhere wished I meet up with an accident and die before I see Manik go, because that isn't something I will be able to do until I am alive.

Throwing my car keys at the watchman and asking him to park, I ran inside the hospital. I couldn't help but think I was some TV serial heroine running to save her hero, and I so wish like every other story, it gets fine here. But this was reality, and reality and true love have always favoured death over life. And that keeps hitting upon me like a thunderstorm.

"Cabir....", I ran towards him as I saw him in the hallway.

His face was red and eyes filled with tears, and I could clearly see how it took everything for him to not break down. Because somewhere he knew he had to handle me. If he breaks down, we will all break down. He had to do what Manik always does for all of us, he had to act our strength, not our weakness.

"The doctor says they can't find his pulse, it's dropping very low. There's very little time we have with him and nothing any of us can do......", he said and I closed my eyes as my world came to a stand still.

Every cell of my body punched me back as I walked in slowly. I shivered at each step and my mind stopped working as Cabirs words rang in my ears.

"there's very little time we have with him"

He lied there clad in white hospital clothes, his head was covered in bandages and tubes ran through his hand and wrist. His charming and handsome face lied there lifeless and cold in front of me. His beautiful brown orbs were closed and we feared this was the last time they had opened.

"Manik!" I barely whispered as I sat besides him and held his delicate and cold hands in my numb ones, careful not to hurt him.

"Koi na kuch bhi keh le, I know you can hear me. I know you can feel me around you, tum mehsoos kar sakte ho mujhe....", I cried and then wiped my tears.

"If you really want to go na, I will not stop you. But tum Khud hi socho, are you really ready to leave me? Will you be okay if you never get to hug me again, you can never kiss me again Manik? You will never hear my voice, kabhi mera haath nahi pakad paaoge. And eventually, my family will get me married somewhere. Will you be able to see me with someone else Manik, will you be able to someone else having all the rights on me which i only want I give you.....", I cracked by the end as I sobbed.

"Please Manik, is this really our last goodbye?" I begged holding his hand tighter.

"You tell me that I am your star Manik. But for me, you are not just a star. You are the god damn sky.....", I cried as I held his hand tighter and tighter.

Just then, I felt some movements in his hand as it wriggled out of my hands. He struggled up and down for breath.

"Cabir, DOCTOR!" I shouted as I held him tighter, trying to help him to take his breath.

But nothing helped as he took a deep breath with a jerk and fell back to his hospital bed, lifeless and I could sense his hand falling colder in my grip.

Death. Maybe that was just what our destiny wanted.

I saw the dawn break as the sun rised. Sun rises were always our thing. But maybe after today, every sun will rise and set in my life without Manik Malhotra.

~nothing is worst then when someone who was supposed to love you forever just leaves~

~•~

• death may indeed be final, but the love we share while living is eternal •

~•~