This isn't meant to show separation or any depressing content, it's just another phase in their life.

This is the only  Chapter which will be available on Wattpad. All of the rest will be updated only INKITT (LINK IN MY ACCOUNT and also in the comments) on every MONDAY. If I don't notify y'all with an update, check your inkitts on Monday night every week and you'd find a new Chapter updated.

Happy Reading!

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N A N D I N I

"Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!" Aarav chanted my name like a prayer and I sighed, irritated.

I loved being a mother, especially when you have two totally adorable kids. But sometimes, I get tired and miss my life when I was alone. Back then, I used to roam, I used to shop, go out with friends and have fun.

Don't take me wrong, being a mother is amazing but you never have your own life. Your life is only your kids and I don't mind that but sometimes I wish for some time in peace.

And Manik is never any help. He's always busy in his own work, building his so called empire. He sometimes fails to understand that we don't want his money, we want his love and time.

"Kya hai Aarav?" I shouted a little louder as I shut my laptop close and got up, facing him. He had just woken up and was coming down from the stairs.

"I no find my color book!" He frowned sleepily.

"It's in your school bag baby. And why do you want it? Apne brush kiya?" I asked a little loudly and he flinched.

"No! But I ate cookie!" He showed me his teeth which were filled with chocolate and I felt like banging my head to the wall. No matter how much I try to make him understand that you have to brush in the morning first, he will never understand.

"Cookie?! Aaru, mein kya karu aapka? Jao do brushy first!" I scolded softly this time, walking towards him and he nodded.

"Aap mere saath huggy karo!" He smiled lazily before running upstairs to his room.

"Aaram se Aaru! Gir jaaoge bacha!" I called after him but all he did was give me deaf ears and run ahead.

"You don't love me, I know!" He shouted back, stopping midway.

"Acha baba, why do you say that?" I asked climbing a few stairs up and he threatened to run ahead so I halted where I was.

"Because you don't watch movie with me and see spider man doing dishoom dishoom. I miss paapaa and I miss you!" He whispered slowly, looking down sadly.

"I'm sorry bacha!" I whispered, holding my ears and he looked up carefully.

"Okay! Let's do one thing. I'd make lunch, tab tak you go take a bath after doing brushy, and then you, me and Myra will watch movies and enjoy. Okay?" I asked and his fave immediately lit up.

"And what about paapaaa?" His face was hopeful.

"I don't know baby," I whispered helplessly.

"But today is Sunday. All my friends are with their paapaa on Sunday," he whispered back sadly.

"I'd call paapaa and ask him if he wants to come home, okay?" I asked and his face lit up again.

"Yayyy! I go wake Myrooooo!" He fled to his room making me smile.

Covering my face, I sat down right there on the stairs, taking a deep breath. I really need to calm myself down. They are my toddlers, just four years old and I needed to stop removing all my stress on them.

They're still babies and they need both their parents. And the sudden distance that Manik has made to me and them has started affecting them. They're missing their father and understanding things as they're growing up.

And with Manik not being there most of the times, I needed to be both their parents and learn to be patient.

But now that I have told Aarav, I have to call Manik. I hesitatingly looked at my phone for one long minute before dialling my busy husband's Number.

As the phone rang and rang, I couldn't help but think how times changed over the years.

"Manik, you have an important meeting!" You should go to office!" I pleaded but he gave me deaf years as he adored his children who were sleeping.

"How can I, Nandini? We're just back from the hospital. You're still weak and they're just a few weeks old. I want to be there for you and them when y'all need me. I'm not leaving!" He whispered carefully, making sure not to disturb the sleeping duo.

"Manik, it's just a question of an hour. You know I don't like standing between you and your work, na? And plus, the girls will be here to help. And Maa is also coming in a few hours. Go!" I pushed him.

"Maa is coming?" He asked.

"Yes, Mr. Malhotra. I speak to your mother more than you do, and I need her now and she should see her grandchildren too, right?" I asked and he nodded understandingly.

"Now go!" I demanded. "You sure?" He asked again and I sighed, pushing him into the bathroom to get ready.

A few years back, I had to force him to go to office while he wanted to stay home and spend time with me and his kids. And now, I am even hesitant to call him back home.

Hum itna kaise badal gaye, Manik?

"Hello!" His voice broke out my chain of thoughts.

"Hey! Uh—... Aarav and Myra want to see you, they're missing you. When are you coming back home?" I asked. Why have I started needing excuses to talk to my own husband.

"Tell them I'm in an important meeting, mujhe late ho jaayega, I'd see them tomorrow before school. And even you, have dinner and sleep. Don't wait up, okay?" He asked. I have left waiting for you a few months ago, Manik. Only if you notice.

"Okay" I barely whispered. "Tell them I love them," he requested.

"I will" I agreed.

"You sound down, all okay, right?" He asked.

"All's not okay Manik!" I wanted to whisper, but I stopped myself because my voice was cracking. I was on the verge of break down.

He didn't wait for my answer. "I need to go, the meeting's break is over! Bye, take care! I love you three" He said in haste.

"Okay. I lov—......," the phone went dead already. I love you too, Manik.

Wiping a lone tear, I walked up to my kid's room. They're going to be there for me I, for them atleast.

"Is dad coming home?" Myra asked, as she was busy trying to comb her hair. Smiling weakly, I went to her and took the comb from her, making her sit in front of me by the mirror.

"Dad has gone to get a gift for his beautiful princess," I said putting on a smile on my face and she smiled too as I made her hair, leaving her long and beautiful hair open.

"Mamma, when will he come back home?" She asked, turning to me and I shrugged her question away. Both of them had the same question, all thanks to their workaholic father.

He comes back late at night and then sleeps when they go to school, causing them to not meet him at all. They miss him, but I was being the worst. I and Manik went days without talking. Not that we had a fight or anything, just that he was very busy in his work and I, In brining them up. He used to come very late and I usually fell  asleep by then, tired of waiting for him because I have to get up early in the morning to send them to School.

And it wasn't that we were not trying. I tried making time for him wherever I could but he had meetings or some other work at that time. He tried talking to me in breaks by video calling me but I was busy in either making them eat or making them do their study work or some other things always.

He blamed me and I blamed him and the fights continued for a while until we just went on in our daily lives, talking from time to time and what was necessary.

This is how I and Manik had become eight years down our wedding. Everyone thought that we were the couple who would stay madly in love even after decades of being together but that wasn't true but I so wish it were.

We still loved each other, we could never ever even thinking of loving someone else. But love is not the only thing important in any relation, right? There has to be care, affection, time, and the most importantly, communication.

Sometimes, I get baffled thinking about our future. Will this just be a phase in our life, or is this how it's going to always be? Will we be able to fight through this or are we giving up already?

I and my kids spent the day watching Disney movies, playing board games and then I drove them to the neatest play centre where they and Abeer played and we had dinner with Cabir and Navya.

Though I acted as normal as I could, Cabir did ending up sending problems and tensions. I mean, we couldn't hide the fact that I miss my husband and my four year old twins miss their father. How could we?

"Are you and Manik okay?" Cabir asked me when he dropped me off home as he came to leave us inside. Navya waited in the car since Abeer had fallen asleep on her lap.

"Of course we are!" I laughed it giving him a hug.

"Just so you know, someone's it's okay to not be okay," he whispered in my ear. "He's missed you too, and lately, he's going through a lot. He misses you, talk to him, please!" He said before leaving, pushing me into new thoughts.

That's how I ended up in my balcony, thinking about how I and Manik fell into this busy pattern gradually. It was nearly getting eleven and both the kids were asleep. But I decided to wait for Manik.

Had we really not been there for each other for so long?

"Hey!" I heard a tired voice behind me and I flinched, turning behind to see Manik in his office clothes, keeping his bag on the side table. He wore a sloppy face and his eyes were droopy and sleep deprived. He looked so tired. But why was this the first time I was noticing?

"You didn't sleep?" He asked, and I realised I zoned out again. I nodded negatively, giving him a small smile.

"Dinner laga du?" I asked and he nodded negatively. "Nahi, I've eaten. I'd just go take a quick warm water shower!" He smiled back, moving into the bathroom and I let myself drop to the couch.

How do I talk to him?

From talking nonsense with each other to finding excuses to make a conversation, how did we change so much Manik?

I let my head down on the side of the wall, leaning against it and staring at the cloudy sky. December had began and it was cold.

Both I and Manik loved winters because it meant cuddling each other to sleep, waking up in each other's arms, taking a hot water shower together, me dressing up in his clothes, a lot of Netflix and chill.

But now, I don't even remember when did we speak last properly, I don't remember when he hugged me a bye or kissed me goodnight. He even refrains from touching me at night.

Why am I not good enough anymore, Manik?

"Nandini, you're tired. So jao na!" I heard a warm voice behind me and I looked behind to see him all dressed in his night wears.

"Myra and Aaru were missing you a lot today. Ek din off le lete na, it's been a long since we had some family time," I started, biting my lower lip and he nodded.

"Yeah, I miss them too," that's all what he said. What about me, Manik?

"And even us. Let's go out for dinner or something tomorrow?" I asked and he continued staring into his phone.

"Hmm" he ignored, still looking into his phone.

"Manik?" I asked slowly, walking towards him. I could swear that I was about to break down any moment.

"Everything's okay na?" I asked sitting next to him.

"Hmm," He barely smiled, continuing to scroll through his Instagram.

"Why are you behaving this way?" I asked slowly but intently and his thumb stopped on it's way, and he switched off his phone and kept it aside.

"What way?" He asked casually, playing innocent. Don't do this Manik, it's breaking me.

"This way, acting all distant as if we're strangers. We barely talk anymore Manik..," I tried but he cut me off.

"Yes and that's cause we're busy!" He shrugged casually.

"No!" I shouted, a little loudly this time. He looked at me as if I was some mad woman.

"What do you think? I can't see? You're ignoring me Manik!" I shouted this time and he got up from where he was sitting.

Isn't this what he's great for doing? Walking away all the time?

"Manik, talk to me! You can't do this all the time!" I called him, and the tears I was holding back threatened to fall.

"What is it Nandini? Stop over reacting! We're just prioritising life now, we're building up for our future!" He argued back, without looking at me.

"You think I don't know you? A boy who did not get family and love all his life would push away his own family for earning money? Please Haa!" I shouted. "Stop lying and tell me why're you doing this!"

He remained silent. "If we hadn't had kids Four years back Manik, and this is how we would have been going, I'm sure we would have been divorced by now! What are we Manik? Another unhappy couple who's just tied for the same of their kids?" I shouted and he shut his eyes as if taking all of it in him.

As he remained silent again, those tears fell off. "Manik your silence is scaring me, please kuch toh bolo! Tell me we're going to be fine!" I pleaded, my voice croaky and broken.

And now that I expected him to say something, he still remained silent as if I wasn't talking to him or as if he couldn't hear me or as if he didn't want to talk to me anymore.

"Manik!" I asked him dead seriously, taking all the tears inside again.

"What is it? Do you love someone else?" I asked seriously. Never in a billion days would I have thought that I would ask this question of mine to Manik, my husband, my love, my Manik.

His eyes flew open with anger and he gave me the 'what the fuck are you speaking?' look. But was I wrong anywhere?

"Are you crazy? Do you even hear yourself?" He shouted back.

"Oh really! I am crazy? Then tell me what do I assume? You leave early, come late, dinner at office, Sunday's bhi ghar par nahi, you've stopped talking to me most of the times, you're even ignoring our kids now, Manik! They're toddlers, unki kya galti hai? Tell me na Manik, what else do I think?" I shouted back.

We were both angry now and that was never a good combination.

"Wow! Toh yeh hai tumhaara trust?" He shouted back and I gave a hysterical laugh.

"Trust? You know, when you went days for your business tours, that was my trust! When you used to stay out all night for your song recordings, that was my trust! When you stopped being home on sundays and I still didn't say anything, that was my trust! And when you started ignoring me, I still trusted you thinking I was overthinking everything. But now that you even ignore our kids, please don't expect me to trust you! I know for a fact you love nothing more in this world than your children and if you can't come home for them, then there's something seriously sick with you and if you can't tell what's wrong, how the fuck do you expect me to trust you?" I shouted, taking it all outside at once.

"Seriously Nandini, kabhi toh try understanding my point of view," he whispered, and sounded equally broken as me.

"Aur tumhe sach jaan na hai! Toh sunno!" He shouted and I embraced myself for the heart break.

"You had a miscarriage!" He whispered and my world tore apart.

~losing you was like losing a part of myself that I had no idea existed~

🌟 R.I.P Little Malhotra 💫

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