I hope you've checked out my new book on wattpad called Stars. If not, you know where to find it ;)

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M A N I K

I smiled at my babies sleeping peacefully in their cots, sucking their thumbs. One boy, and one girl. Just like I had always imagined.

Both of them got their complexion from me, absolutely fair. My princess got her features from Nandini, that same round eyes, her nose from me, and the most perfect combination of me and Nandini formed her lips and other body structures. She was hardly a few hours old, but I already knew she was going to be beautiful.

And my champ was a duplicate of me. It was just like seeing a baby me sleeping, except his nose, which he got from Nandini.

I just smiled at both of them sleeping in peace, and turned behind to see my wife, who was already smiling at me.

"We're going to be the best parents ever!" She smiled as I put my arms across her and she kept her head on my chest, smiling.

"Hmm, and I need a promise from you. I'm not going to get up alone to send them to School. You have to get up with me, help in the house chores too, from their tiffins to getting them ready... everything, okay?" She warmed and I almost chuckled.

"They're not even a day old yet, you need to calm down baby!" I pecked her forehead and she snuggled more into my chest.

"It's so beautiful na Manik, from being your personal assistant, to being your wife and now a mother to your children. This is what I never expected from life, but you made it possible. Thank you!" She whispered and wiped away a tear drop.

"I should thank you. For a man who didn't know what love was, what family was, you gave me everything. You gave that man his family. Even an eternity of love and thank you's in return can never be enough." I smiled and she kissed our entwined hands.

"Manik!" She suddenly exclaimed, shocked and I looked down to her, worried as well.

"We will never let them be egoistic of the fact that they are Malhotra's, star kids. You are not going to pamper them more than any normal kids of their age. I want both my children to be down to Earth, knowing that life isn't easy to everyone, they will learn to be kind and beautiful by heart. Dare you pamper them with the wrong things!" She warmed me with anger and I raised my eyebrows at her. Already a mother, argh.

"Nandini, they're Manik Malhotra's kids. Why do you even think I have warmed this much money all my life? Of course to give them everything in the world before they even ask for. Everything that is mine is theirs. And no, we are not arguing at that point. My children will get whatever they wish for, even if it means snatching the stars and moons!," I argued back and she snarled.

Ofcourse we've had this discussion—..... argument before also. In fact, we have it everything this topic was removed. But none of us were bending down.

"I will not let you spoil them!" She warned.

"Stop being unreasonable Nandini, I know I don't have to spoil them. But that also doesn't mean I'm going to not give them things they deserve," I pointed out and she nodded her head in disbelief.

"What are we going to name them?" She whisper shouted with excitement playing in her eyes , diverting the topic completely.

"Well, I was very sure of my princess, so I've already decided her name. You decide your champs name!" I smiled selfishly and she growled.

"Partial much?" She raises an eyebrow and I showed her my teeth.

"More than you can imagine. Not in love, definitely, but surely by affection. She's going to be my princess!" I smiled at her adorably and she flinched in sleep, making me almost giggle.

"I thought I was your princess!" Nandini argued with a pout that I lightly kissed, holding her waist above the hospital gown, and her frown immediately turned into a smile, her eyes twinkling.

"You'd always be my first baby. Don't even compare. I'm just going to such a protective father!" I demanded and she sighed.

"I wonder already how will you let go of her when she's going to have a boyfriend, or she would get married, it would be so difficult for you, I pity you already Manik!" She teased.

"Boyfriend?" I laughed. "She's not even allowed to go out with boys before she's thirty, leave boyfriends alone!" I snarled and she laughed.

"Just if you remember, I fell in love with you when I was nineteen, we were almost in a love in relationship for a few years and I got married to you when I was twenty four. Just a reminder, I'm not even thirty yet and already a mother," she smiled mockingly and realisation dawned upon me.

"Oh shit, no! I'm not letting her go to a girl-boy mix school. Let her to an only girls school, something like a convent school. She wouldn't meet boys, no attraction, no boyfriends," I whispered back smirking proudly.

"She's anyway not going to have any boyfriend if her father will set her expectations so high by pampering her!" She reminded me and that made me happy. Atleast the first twenty years of her life, I will be the only man in her life.

"That makes me happy!" I smiled cheekily.

"I bet it does!" She laughed in disbelief.

"I have thought of a name!" She exclaimed pulling me by my arm suddenly. "I have thought as well!" I smiled, picking up my princess in my arms, as she slept peacefully, her delicate hands falling on my shirt.

"Myra Malhotra!" I whispered kissing her forehead and Nandini stared at us in adoration.

"Aarav Malhotra!" She whispered back to me, as she kissed his forehead and I took her in a side hug, me holding Myra while she held Aarav.

My family.

I had a family too.

I was a father too.

As I looked by my side, Nandini had disappeared.

"Nandini?" I called out, loud and clear. "Are you playing Hide and Seek with me again?" I shouted, to get no reply in return. I bent to keep Myra back to her cot, but just as I kept her, she disappeared too.

What the fuck was happening?

The lights around me dimmed until there was only darkness around me as I ran from there, trying to find my family.

"Nandini?" I called our again and I could see her standing in a corner, smiling and waving at me as she slowly turned translucent and disappeared.

"Nandini?" I shouted this time, not knowing where to go.

"Myra?" "Aarav?"

"Manik?" There was a whispered around me of a very familiar voice but I could see no one.

"Manik?" Again.

"Manik?" Some light escaped in, before I felt a sudden pain on my head and the lights re appeared.

I couldn't see anything before I realised I was on a hospital chair, and Mukti was staring into my eyes.

I got up with a jerk, staring back at her.

"Where's Myra? And Aarav?" I asked her and she stared at me as if I was some alien, and she stood there rooted numb to the ground.

"Manik?" She whispered and I ran a little away from her, nodding my head in disbelief.

This was all a dream.

Everything was a dream.

There was no Nandini.

No Myra. No Aarav.

I covered my face, slumping back to the sofa. "Manik!" She whispered sitting by me, keeping a hand on my shoulder.

"They were all there, you know. Nandini was so happy!" I whispered, vulnerable as ever. This was like being thrown into heaven to take a sip of comfort before being dragged back to hell and thrown into some burning fire, as if giving food to a homeless beggar and just when he was starting to eat, snatching it away from him.

"I—.. I—... was just so proud of myself, you know. That finally I was able to save my family. They were with me," I didn't even know if I was making sense but my heart was clearly torn apart and it pained so much that no tears even came out.

"I just thought I was finally being able to start a family. I was going to have my own family. My princess, my champ. Why always to us, Mukti? If God never wanted me to be happy, then why did he send Nandini in my life, haa? Why did he give me hopes of a family? Why did he make her promise me a 'humesha' when all we had to do was suffer?" I was on the verge of breaking down completely and she just held my hand tighter, silently crying on my shoulder.

"Keep faith , Manik. Everything will get fine, it has to...," she barely whispered.

"Keep faith on what, Mukti? In whom should I Keep faith? In god ?" I laughed. "Then I'm sorry, I have no faith left in God. Because God has become very selfish. He doesn't want to give me my happiness. He just wants to keep testing me and Nandini, all the time. And you know what, I want her to die. If this is what satisfies him, to see him vulnerable , to see me in pain, then let him take it all from me. I can't see her in more pain because of me, let God take her away from me one and for all and end the process of pain right here!" Only I know how I managed to speak these words.

Mukti stared at me with blank eyes for a minute of silence before breaking down in my arms and I just wished I could do that too, break down completely, giving it all away at once.

But I knew I can't. I couldn't. I wouldn't. Because if this is what God wants, if this is what life wants from me, to break me down, then that's not happening. I'm going to stay strong, because maybe that's what I have done all my life, be a monster and terminate the feelings as if they do not exist.

I was swimming in my own pool of thoughts when the red light of the operation theatre went off, indicating it was over. The final verdict was here, either I am set free to let me be with my wife or I was a prisoner of death taking her away. There were no inbetweens and I was aware, but I was just not strong enough to here it all.

The doctor and out with a half blood stained shirt as she removed it and passed it away with the nurse, then turning towards me.

"Manik...," she whispered as well, her face sad, and my heart beated faster. Deep down, I knew what the answer was... I was just preparing myself to hear it all.

"I am sorry. You know, I tried my best, isn't it?" She asked and I nodded weakly. "The operation was an epic fail".

Her words were a thunder storm to my wandering ears and I could hear mukti thump back to the sofa, as I stood there rooted to the ground.

"This was the only way for me to save her life over the kids, and it didn't turn out to be the way we wanted. Instead, her Fallopian tubes were blocked and we had to cut out a portion of it, like we do in tubectomy. Which also means, she will never be able to be a mother again.... if she survives..," I felt a whole forming in my heart.

"I can't comment anything at this point, Manik. It's just like we're giving her a chance to survive , but if she does, your children die. Just hope for the best Manik, the next twenty four hours are more crucial for all the three then you can even think. Hope for a miracle, Manik. I'd be around if you need me." She patted my shoulder before leaving me alone with my darkness.

Darkness and emptiness is all what I felt and I think all what I'd be capable to feel from now on.

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Thank you, and lots of love.

x