Nicolai

"Then ride me."

I sound so confident, like I'm not fucking panicking on the inside, terrified I'm going to blow my load in my pants in about one minute flat.

Because having Sutton Banks on top of me right now, grinding her soaking wet pussy over my cock is my most vivid wet dream come to life, and I don't know how long I'll be able to hold off what's about to happen.

Her lips turn up into a sexy little smirk, her knees on either side of my thighs, squeezing as she slides up and down the bulge behind my joggers, which I want nothing more than to rip off and let her do with me whatever she desires. Because I know if I lost control right now, so would she.

But I can't. I can't lose control with her. Not yet. Not here.

But damnit, we can have this. I let my hands fall to her hips and grip them tight, pressing her down harder and grinning at her whimpered moan, biting back one of my own. "You like that, baby?"

"Yes, fuck, yes," she gasps, all her bravado failing her for a moment as she throws her head back, the rapid rise and fall of her chest too tempting to ignore. I slide my hands up the curve of her waist and over her ribcage, thumbs brushing the undersides of her breasts.

Lifting her head, her eyes meet mine as she sucks in a sharp breath. "Please," she whispers, and before she even gets the word out, I'm covering her pebbled nipples with my thumb and index finger, pinching them hard. "Oh, fuck."

"You're so responsive, mala tigrica," I murmur, sliding one hand down her abdomen and keeping the other on her breast. "I bet you're even wetter than you were a few seconds ago."

"If that's even possible," she mutters, and I chuckle when I feel the desire that's pooled between her legs soaking through to my pants.

"Oh, it's possible," I say, bringing my two middle fingers, dripping with her arousal, to my mouth and sucking off every drop while she watches with wide eyes, pupils blown out so that the green is barely visible.

"Oh. My. God," she groans, laying forward to speed up her efforts, and I'm immediately rewarded with a heavenly amount of friction.

I move my hand between us and as I rub circles against her clit, my dick is given the added stimulation it needs, and I am right there. My balls are throbbing, the base of my spine is tingling, and I am on the edge.

"Nicolai, I'm—" But she doesn't even get to finish her sentence before her body shudders against mine and I feel her pussy clenching what it can of my cock through the layer of clothing between us, and I explode.

"Yes, Sutton," I grit out, lifting my hips to hers in an attempt to make it last just a little bit longer. Finally, when we've both given and taken everything we can, I sink into the mattress, and she collapses on top of me. I wrap my arms around her immediately, welcoming her warm body and her sweet, post-orgasmic scent. She nuzzles into my neck and sighs, the most contented sound I've heard her make since coming back into her life.

I brush my hand over the back of her head, and when I sweep her hair over her shoulder so I can see her face, there are tears running down her cheeks.

"Sutton," I say, sitting up and bringing her with me. She adjusts and wraps her arms and legs around me like a koala, refusing to let go. I grip her wrists and gently force her back so I see her eyes. "What's wrong, baby?" I swipe her tears away and cup her cheek in my palm, gripping the back of her neck with my other hand. My heart pounds in my chest, but I have to ask the question. "Do—do you regret what we did just now? Because if you do, I und—"

Relief floods my chest when she interrupts me and practically yells, "No! God, Nicolai, no! I don't regret anything that just happened. Not a damn thing. I just can't believe this is finally happening. That you want me as much as I want you. That you're even here right now. Even though everything all seems really fucked up with my dad being gone and everything else, I—the fact that you want me..." She bites her lip and closes her eyes as another tear falls down her cheek.

I shake my head and press my lips to her forehead. "Don't be ridiculous. I have always wanted you, Sutton Banks. Always."

Pressing her forehead to mine, she nods. "Me too."

We sit there for a few more seconds before she seems to realize the mess we've both made. "Oh, jeez. I'm sorry, I—" Her cheeks turn blood red and she covers her face with her hands.

"Uh-uh," I say, grabbing her wrists and uncovering her eyes. "Do not be ashamed of this. This is sexy. I've dreamt of this countless times. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, I hear you...but we should still clean up, and J—"

"Don't say his name," I groan. "I know, our time alone is almost up. Go get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning. Okay?"

"Okay," she says before untangling her legs from around my waist and getting to her feet. "You don't regret it...do you?" Her voice comes out small and unsure, and as much as I want to shake her and remind her that I just told her that all I ever wanted was her, I can tell she just needs my reassurance right now.

I stand in front of her and place each palm on her cheeks, tilting her face to mine. "Sutton, why in the hell would I regret something that I've spent my entire life dreaming about doing?"

She cocks her head to the side and sighs. "You wouldn't."

"Exactly." I plant a kiss on her lips. "Now go, sleep."

"Goodnight, Nicolai," she says, glancing back at me on her way out the door.

"Sleep tight, mala tigrica," I say, watching her until she disappears into the hallway.

Fuck, I think as I step into the shower to clean myself up. What are you doing, Nicolai?

If Jason catches me with her, he might actually try to kill me.

But there is no way I could go another day without having her.

And it doesn't matter what he thinks because in the end, she will be mine.

***

The next few days around this house have been pretty fucking tense, but this time, it's been in the best way possible. Sutton and I exchange heated glances over dinner, across the living room when we're playing MarioKart on the Switch (her favorite game of all time), and she sneaks in every night to give me a goodnight kiss—sometimes more.

It's like one of those tropes in those books Sutton reads, and suddenly I can understand the appeal. The forced proximity is beyond sexy, and the temptation to just give in at every turn is so damn strong. But I know it isn't a good idea. Not after the blowup Jason and I just had the night that Sutton and I kissed. I may be a risk taker, but I don't have a death wish.

So I just keep my distance as much as I can but there are some times, like right now, that I can't stay away. And right now just happens to be at 3 am.

I tap on her door as lightly as I can and she cracks it open a few seconds later. The smile that breaks out on her face is instantaneous. "Nicolai, what are you doing?"

"I couldn't sleep," I admit, resting my forearm against the top of the doorframe and leaning in toward her. "I kept thinking of you."

She purses her lips and her cheeks flush a precious pink that reaches her neck and chest. "Oh? And what were you thinking about?"

"Honestly?"

"Always."

I look up and down the hall. "Can I come in first?"

"Of course." She steps aside and lets me in and before I even have a chance to sit anywhere else, she's grasping my wrist and pulling me into bed with her. "Sorry," she says, the pink in her cheeks turning bright red. "Was that too forward?"

I laugh and tuck myself under the cover, holding out my arm to invite her to lay down next to me. I swear to God, I almost melt when she snuggles in right beside me and drapes her arm across my abdomen.

I get myself together in time to come back with, "Sutton, please. I came in my joggers the other night while you dry humped me bare. I'm pretty sure we're past being 'too forward.'"

She laughs and buries her head in my chest. "Yeah, okay. That's fair."

"If you could go anywhere and do anything, what would you do?" I ask, smoothing my hand over her hair.

"That's a loaded question. Like, now? Or could we have time to prep?"

I laugh. "Like, I don't know...tomorrow."

She thinks for a moment and runs her fingers over my tiger tattoo. "To see Hamilton."

"Really?"

"Yep. It's my favorite play. I have always wanted to see it live, but of course, I was never allowed to. So I just settled for watching it on Disney Plus like...75 times. But I know every song by heart," she says.

I hum thoughtfully. "I've actually never seen it."

She sits up and looks at me like I've just insulted the Pope or something. "What? You've never seen Hamilton?!"

"Never. Guess you'll have to educate me."

And that's how I spent the rest of the night in her bed with her in my arms, watching her favorite musical...and getting these catchy as hell songs stuck in my head.

And wondering what the hell I can do to give my girl some of the freedoms she has missed out on.