Chapter Thirty one

"Alone"

"سيأتي نهار أحبك فيه ، سيأتي نهار فلا تقلقي إن تأخر فصل الربيع ، ولا تحزني لانقطاع المطر"

Zayed

A week later. Friday – 8:06 PM

Alone... the saddest word in every language. It crawls on one's skin and reminds us of our undesirable weaknesses. As humans, we're too selfish to walk through the mystical road of life all by ourselves. Seeking to depend on someone, we search for a shoulder that'll bare us, along with our pain. As humans, we'd rather die alone than live lonely.

And how unfortunate was she, having been sent to this Earth to complete her life... alone!

She stared at the dark blue lake, as it shone under the light of the full moon, hiding behind the clouds every now and then. Mahra was uncommonly noiseless today, deep in bitter and wistful thoughts of fighting the battle of life, all by herself and her shadow.

"You've been awfully quiet today. Is everything alright?" came Zayed's words, pulling her out of her trail of thoughts. He'd been looking at her, wondering about her odd behavior this past week, and finally he cared enough to ask.

Zayed had grown tired of Badr's non-ending advice of taking care of Mahra, which he thought he definitely did. Ever since she came clean about Noorah, and requested to lessen their differences, he has tried to at least listen to her when she speaks and respond with a few words if possible. Fortunately, day-by-day, both of them screamed less at each other, and struggled to be as bearable as they could, at least for a few months.

As Mahra turned to him, his face reminded her where they were and why they had come to this restaurant for dinner. She found it hard to remember when she'd agreed to have this dinner with him and his family, celebrating Mona's graduation. He'd brought her here early, so they sat, waiting for the rest of them, at a table for six, placed outdoors. Surrounding them was the Burj Lake, where the serene water was so close and touchable, just on the other side of the wooden railings right next to them.

Mahra appeared to have been lost in her thoughts again, then she took a deep breath and met his gaze. "It's just..." she paused and looked away. "I feel like the loneliest person on Earth, lately." She didn't know why but she came clean about what was on her mind.

From the sad look on her face, Zayed guessed what was wrong. "Well, you're not the only one. We all are born alone and prepared to die unescorted as well." He reminded.

She turned to stare at the wind-waves on the surface of the lake, not wanting to answer that, although she had one in mind. After a while of peering at the water. "These waves are so powerless, moving wherever this heavy wind takes them." She uttered, thinking of herself as the waves and the wind as the merciless people around her. "I wish they could take control and end their agony."

As she spoke, the pain in her eyes was so pure and obvious, dripping through her big brown eyes like invisible tears. She had an unusual manner of speaking when she was sad, a different air and a strange grace. Her gaze got lost into the nothingness of the wind that blew a little heavily, chilling her bones. He noticed how her dark lashes would kiss each other every time she blinked. It was nice to see her this... thoughtful!

Placing one leg over the other and getting comfortable in his seat, Zayed kept staring and examining her this side. Meanwhile, her phone began ringing. She looked at it and set the phone in silent mode after reading 'Hamad's' name on the screen. Hamad called once again and Mahra refused to reply, which definitely didn't go unnoticed. Zayed too had caught a glimpse at the caller's ID.

"You're not gonna answer that?" He put forward, looking at her from under his lashes. Mahra shook her head, silently. "Is Hamad the reason for this gloominess?" He asked the question that had been on his mind since this morning, he could not believe her seriousness over Hamad and Mona's engagement.

Mahra smiled a mournful smile. "No... I am just missing someone." She declared, looking at the flowers on the table. Zayed guessed it was her brother but was proven wrong when Mahra went on. "It was a month like this a few years ago when I lost my father." She made known, not knowing why she was telling him all of this, but she needed to get it out of her system and apparently he turned out to be a good listener, he'd always been a silent listener.

"Three years ago?" Zayed confirmed, straightening in his seat.

Mahra nodded. "That unfortunate year when I lost everything in one day, the only person who really cared for me. He was a true shadow above, protecting me." She declared, her voice suddenly stronger than earlier or that's how she'd intended it to be.

"You're being ungrateful. You still have Hamad and your mother." Zayed replied and she fell silent once again. Realizing that he wasn't going to receive a reply, Zayed tried to look away from her, searching for his siblings, wishing they'd arrive soon so that this gloomy gathering would end.

She stared into space and thought some more. "You were right." At her voice, Zayed faced her and their eyes met. "My only mistake is that I am loved too much." Her eyes looked deeper today, deeper than he'd ever seen them. "But it isn't my fault, having received everyone's love out of sympathy." She said, opening one stitch of her heart to the only man who hadn't loved her out of sympathy, the only one who never loved her at all!

"What do you mean?" Zayed raised an eyebrow, confused.

Slowly averting her gaze from him, she was looking at the lake again. "In my early years, I was left without a mother. When I had finally learned to live, my father passed away as well. I began to lose hope. Every one said that things will be okay after marriage, but my fate never fails to play its ironic games with me." She explained, her voice bitter with hidden sorrow. "I have no one else, that's why everyone feels responsible towards me." Mahra put down the hand that was supporting her chin on the table with a light thud.

A heavy silence then spread around them, leaving words unsaid on their lips and in their eyes.

"Is that a bad thing?" Zayed began, breaking through the painful silence.

"It has gotten me here. Hasn't it?" She answered, matter-of-factly.

"I am here too. A strong and free man, capable, in every way, of making all my decisions by myself but I am here too." He contradicted, his tone serious. Mahra stared down at her hands, unable to reply. "It's our fate. This was written for the both of us." He corrected, observing this peaceful yet troubled Mahra falling silent for the third time today. The Mahra that he knew had to say something for everything. She seemed utterly depressed.

Zayed put his right elbow on the table and leaned forward. "And if it helps to comfort you, then let me tell you this, Hamad's love, out of all, is not out of sympathy. He's a good man, a true friend and above all a great brother. I can say this because I have seen him do great things for you." He spoke his words carefully, trying to give her a sense of contentment after the damage he had done by telling her about the engagement before Hamad. "And believe me, by not answering his calls, you're putting him through great agony." He completed, while looking at his own buzzing phone.

As he spoke on the phone, Mahra crossed her arms across her chest, feeling hollow and light headed. She didn't appreciate herself being so vulnerable in front of him. He was the man who had deepened her wounds and caused all of this. She shouldn't have said what she said! But he seemed to understand her pain, right now the only one who could!

Once again, the waiter came asking for their order but Mahra told him they were waiting for their family, while listening to Zayed's conversation with Laylah on the phone. Apparently, she had some displeasing news, because Zayed was frowning when he got off the phone with his sister.

"What's wrong?" Mahra questioned, worried. Her thoughts had gone elsewhere.

"They can't make it." Zayed replied, his voice suddenly sullen.

"Why?"

"One of Mona's teachers has held some..." He rubbed his forehead, annoyed. "Some sort of a surprise party for the graduates...I guess... and Laylah has gone out with Deemah." Zayed explained, irritated by the fact that his siblings thought they were smart enough to fool him. He knew this was all Badr's doing, he was the only one who could come up with this. Laylah's last sentence gave her away anyway. 'You two deserve to have some time alone.' She had said.

Zayed let out a deep sigh.

Watching her silent husband, whose eyes were fixed at the empty table beside them, seeming quite disturbed! "Let's go back then!" She suggested, guessing that he wouldn't want to stay for dinner anymore and she didn't want to make him do so. Grabbing her bag, Mahra made to stand up but Zayed shook his head.

"No..." He disagreed, leaning back on the chair. "Let's have dinner." He put forward and thought that he'd be a man with no morals, if he returned the girl home without dinner.

"It's fine if you don't want to!" Mahra paused. "I don't have much of an appetite anyway."

"Who said I am staying for you? The food is good here and I am hungry." Zayed articulated, going through the menu.

"That's better. I wouldn't want you to do things unwillingly, not for me at least." She said, sensing his gaze on her, she refused to look at him, instead stared down at the lit candle on the table, feeling slightly awkward. This place wasn't for couple's like them, this place was for warmer couples, happier couples. Not them!

They ordered their main course and ate, silently. However after having tasted her food, Mahra leaned back, putting the fork away.

Seeing her not eating. "You don't like seafood?" Zayed inquired.

She shook her head. "Not this particular entrée, Astaghfirullah." Mahra replied, eyeing her order, displeased with herself.

At her reply, he took a glance at her, fork paused halfway through his mouth. "You're costing me." He added and put his fork down, so he could take a sip of his drink.

"That was the plan." She retorted.

Zayed's lips twitched at her dead tone. "Here, try this." He offered her his plate.

"No, thank you." Mahra hid her surprise at his courtesy. "I don't want to be too costly." She soon added.

"I am not sympathizing you, you know?" Zayed pointed out, pulling his plate back.

It was Mahra who smiled this time. "Actually, you are."

Zayed did not reply to that and they both completed their dinner silently.

**

On their way to the apartment, Mahra's eyes were staring out the window, as she listened to a heartbreaking music that Zayed had played earlier and turned the volume very low, it was barely audible. She listened to the sad piano, wondering how on Earth Zayed had gotten into such kind of stuff, ignorant of the great works of Claude Debussy.

Zayed on the other hand, tried to drive but her sullen energy was disturbing him. He allowed himself to glance at her and saw her lost in her own frantic world. "Would you like to have some coffee?" He spoke, cutting through the silence, once more.

Mahra averted her eyes and stared at him without saying anything. "You're doing it again." She notified and turned away.

"Doing what?" Zayed questioned, muddled.

"Sympathizing me." Mahra declared, her voice suddenly sadder.

Here Zayed understood her, even if a little bit but he did. He kept his hands on the steering wheel and eyes straight ahead, not responding to that. Perhaps with Mahra, one couldn't help themselves.

"This music is not helping either." Mahra certified, glaring at the center console.

"You don't like it." Zayed sounded surprised. "It's Debussy's Claire De Lune." He finished and reached forward to turn it off.

"I don't think I know what that means." murmured Mahra to herself, but he'd heard her.

"It's French for 'Moonlight'." He answered, absent-mindedly. "See if you can find a USB in the glove box." He said, pointing to the box in front of Mahra. She moved rather slowly, and opened the box. After searching a little, she found a black USB and dropped it in his stretched hand. Then, she didn't look up to see what he was doing with it because her eyes had found something that interested her, a book. A thin, green colored book that had a rather odd cover. The Starbucks logo, inside which was the famous painter Picaso's picture. Being a painter, Mahra recognized him too well.

"Does this book say anything about painting?" She asked, as they slowed down and finally halted at the red signal.

Zayed took a look at her and froze for a short while as he saw Mahra carrying the book Jenaan had given him. The memory of Jenaan entering his office that day came to him and the present that she'd bought him. For some reason he remembered their last conversation which hadn't ended well. He hadn't spoken to Jenaan ever since, and had tried his best to forget her, but seeing this book brought all the memories back.

"I wouldn't know." He finally said, his voice hoarse.

"Haven't you read it?" Mahra asked turning the book in her hands and examining it.

"Not all of it." Zayed confessed, not knowing why he felt so disturbed seeing her holding the book.

"Well, can I read it?" Mahra questioned, her mood suddenly changing as she remembered her painting habit. She missed that. Opening the first page, she paused when her eyes fell on the two words that were written there.

From Jenaan.

She read out loud and waited as those words sank deep in her mind. As quickly as she'd forgotten her pain, it came back once more, because she thought she understood what was going on!

"Jenaan?" Mahra uttered, and her eyes flickered to see what expression he wore. They exchanged a look filled with many feelings, unspoken feelings.

"She's Deemah's sister." Zayed made known, at last and the car behind them started honking. He looked up to see, the signal had gone green and stepped on the gas pedal, driving away.

Mahra became silent once more, her brain had one more thing to mourn about now. And another stupid song was playing yet again. It was James Blunt's voice, singing for a girl whose only friend was trouble and he promised to... carry her home.

**

Saturday- 11:27 AM

Mahra

In hopes of forgetting my depression, I tried cooking today and made my famous Lasagna. I wished Abdullah was here, he'd always ask for them whenever he came to visit us. It had been a while I had seen him, or my family because I hadn't visited our house in two weeks, which obviously was distressing.

Putting the tray in the oven, once I made sure it was cooked well, I left the kitchen to change. Before entering my room, I took a little peek in the study and found Zayed busy with work as usual. We hadn't talked much after our weird conversation at dinner last night and that book. I had tossed it on the couch as I came back, and didn't bother to open it again. Jenaan, the word stuck on my brain for some reason.

Changing into a floral peach colored long maxi dress, I stared at myself in the mirror. I shouldn't dress like this, not in his presence. But these were the clothes that I had bought for myself and all my simple Jalabia's were coming to an end. I deliberately, put my hair down because the sleeves were somewhat see-through and left the room before I could change my mind.

It was still early for lunch so, I sat watching TV in the living room. Until at length, we heard the doorbell ring twice and Zayed came out of the study to open the door. Was he expecting someone? I wondered, preparing myself to run away and wear a sheilah if it were any of his relatives.

Hearing a masculine voice, I stood up, my eyes on the corridor but there was no sign of Zayed. After a minute or two, I saw my husband followed by my brother emerge from the passageway, both laughing at something. They both paused at a distance as they saw me waiting for them, looking somewhat dumbstruck.

"Look who I have brought with me." Zayed said to me, still smiling at the joke I hadn't heard.

"AsSalaam Alaikum." Hamad greeted, his eyes shining as he examined me. I was going to reply and hug him because all the nostalgia of this past week was coming back to me as I saw him, but I couldn't find my voice. "Why aren't you answering my calls?" Hamad complained, his tone playful.

Suddenly, something disturbed the longing, and I remembered why I was so mad at him earlier. I chose not to reply on purpose this time.

"You're sister is very upset with you." Zayed declared, making me turn to look at him. He gave me a look that said 'Behave' but I certainly was not going to listen.

"Why is he here?" I directed my question at Zayed, ignoring my brother. Hamad chuckled at that, and I think Zayed was smiling at my idiocy as well.

"Afa Mahroo," I heard Hamad say. He would call me that whenever he was in the mood of teasing me. "Is that how you welcome your guests? Is that what I've taught you?" He mischievously stated, walking towards me. I think he was going to hug me and I was going to aggressively stop him, but I didn't want to do that in front of Zayed. I had grown up a little after my marriage, at least I think I had.

"You haven't taught me anything. Thank you for that." I retorted and heard him grin. He always enjoyed upsetting me.

Hamad turned around to look at his friend for help. "What do I do with her now?" He said, and then grabbed my left hand in his.

"Take a seat. She'll come around eventually." Zayed proposed, beckoning him to a seat and I shot my husband a glare. How dare he interfere in our matters!

Hamad sat down at the seat next to me, and pulled me close to him, not letting go of my hand, whereas Zayed took the armchair on our left.

"At least tell me, what crime have I committed to deserve such punishment?" Hamad's sincere voice asked, as he tried to seek my eyes, but I refused to look at him. "I almost went insane when you ignored my calls. I had to come down and see the matter myself." He finished, waiting for my answer.

"How's mother?" I changed the topic and stared down at our hands.

"She's fine, and sends you her regards." Hamad placed his other hand on top of mine, and we both grew silent.

A while later.

"You two talk, I have to make a call." Zayed skilfully excused himself, probably guessing that I wasn't going to talk in his presence.

Once he was gone, I took a glance at Hamad and found him studying me. "What's wrong Mahra?"my brother questioned, his tone and eyes serious.

"You still have the guts to come and ask me what's wrong!" I began, my voice held an edge of derision. Hamad seemed utterly clueless, surprise skimming on his face. "When were you going to tell me that you were getting engaged, after the engagement?" I completed, and saw realization kick in his brain.

He took a moment before replying. "I am hear now to tell you." He assured.

My temper suddenly flared, and I glared at him defiantly. "Now? You were going to tell me now?" I snapped, and suddenly he looked at a loss for words so I completed. "My only brother is getting engaged and I am the last person to know about it, that too from someone else." I finished, throwing my free hand in the air, agitatedly.

"Zayed was the second person after mother who knew about it." Hamad defended.

My eyes narrowed. "Is Zayed more important to you than I am?" I demanded, looking daggers at him.

All of a sudden Hamad's face broke into a smile. "Are you getting jealous of your husband?" He attempted to lighten the situation.

I gave him a scornful look and turned away without replying.

"And what about Mona?" I clenched my jaw, my voice a little sharper as I scolded my older brother. "You've known her since high school and you never told me?"

"Who told you?" asked Hamad, astonished. His eyes filled with disbelief.

"I do have a little brain. I can figure that out by myself." I articulated, slamming my fingers against my forehead, making Hamad grin.

Meanwhile, I remembered something else. "And does he know?" with my eyes I ushered towards Zayed's room, lowering my tone and whispering now. "Does he know that you've known his sister from quite a while?" I asked the most basic question. If he had, then what was his reaction?

Hamad shook his head. "Stop bombarding me with your questions!" He put forward, his tone a little different, probably annoyed which bothered me. I pulled my hand away from his, sitting there, upset again.

"Zayed said you've been a bit off lately. Is that all that's been bothering you?" My eyes darted to find his, surprised at what I had heard. Zayed had told him what? Did he tell him about our conversation about dad? I could never trust him. But if he had, Hamad would've brought it up by now!

"You didn't even ask me if I liked the girl you are about to marry." I asserted, not confessing the truth.

"Do you like the girl I am about to marry?" Hamad repeated, with, what I think, was a smirk.

"What difference does it make now?" I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"It makes a difference. I'll ask her to change if you don't like her." Hamad joked, and I couldn't help but grin.

A while later, when I gathered myself. I realized I hadn't laughed in days, but Hamad had brought my laughter back.

As I stared at him for a long while, a lump tightened in my throat. "Two weeks away from you and you've completely forgotten that I even existed in your life, is that how little I meant to you?" My eyes were filled with tears, and to hide them, I looked down at my hands in my laps.

"You know how much you mean to me." Hamad certified, sincerely.

"Is that why you call me once a week?" I exaggerated, he calls twice every week.

He seemed taken aback a little. "I thought you were busy. You have a new life."

"I am never too busy for you, Hamad." My voice had started shaking, giving me away. Hamad leaned over to place a hand across my shoulder and pulled me in. A few more tears followed the earlier ones and then I closed my eyes to push them back. It was embarrassing crying every time I saw Hamad. What would he think?

"I am sorry, Mahro. You are right. I should've told you before." Hamad apologized, caressing my long hair, like old times. "She's gotten very sentimental after marriage." He added, I opened my eyes to see who he was talking to and saw Zayed, stepping into the living room, eyes analyzing me.

Instantly, I sat straight, and tried to calm down, taking a few breaths. "I am never forgiving you for this, Hamad." I said with a lighter tone, and shoved Hamad a little away from me.

Zayed walked to take back his earlier seat. "It's the first time he's come here. Aren't you going to serve him anything?" He addressed me, eyes empty, as always.

"After all this, some tea would be great." My brother suggested.

"Well, you don't like my tea." I said directing my words to my husband, recalling his earlier comment on my tea. "And Hamad's been quite a jerk lately, so he doesn't deserve my hospitality." I finished, hearing them grin at my sentence. As stubborn as I was, I changed my mind and got up to make some tea, because Hamad had come to my place for the first time. I couldn't let him go without serving him anything.

Once the tea was done, I took it to them and was serving it to Hamad. "You have to stay for lunch I have made lasagna." I insisted and turned to serve Zayed this time.

"I hope it's better than the tea." Zayed poked fun, picking up the cup and glancing at me. His brown eyes met mine, and for the first time, I stepped on my sarcasm for Hamad's sake and let him make fun of me openly.

Hamad stayed for my lasagna, but not just for that, Zayed had ordered in as well, so I served everything together. Lunch hadn't been as quiet as it usually is. Hamad and Zayed would move from one interesting topic to another. My brother's presence had made this place alive for the first time. It was finally easy to have Zayed around. I could easily breathe, at last.

I had totally forgiven Hamad until...

**

Two days later

Monday - 9:27 PM

Unbelievable. That coward. That bloody moron. How could he call and talk to me like this? And that too all because of that Mona? How dare he? How dare Hamad? If this is his behavior before marrying her, then after his marriage he'll definitely sue me, if I even spoke to his 'angelic wife'. That witch has made him blind, he can't even see things right!

And what did I say to Mona yesterday that's gotten him so worked up? Didn't she say enough to me too? Wasn't I being attacked as well??!

What happened was, on our last visit to Zayed's family, yesterday, I was sitting with my 'to-be sister in law', in the backyard patio and unfortunately Laylah left us alone and went inside. To be honest, after speaking to Hamad the day before that, I had come in terms with him and my heart, that whatever decision he makes, I am fine with it. I was completely fine with him and Mona.

Things had also become less grave with Zayed and I. We were finally following the formula of avoiding any rude interactions. Perhaps that was what Mona had noticed which is why she said, what she said.

"Seems like you two enjoyed the dinner." Mona commented, and I gave her a small smile, having nothing more to say, because there was nothing good about that dinner. I regretted my emotional breakdown and his sympathetic looks that disgusted me till this very moment.

"It's nice to, at last, see Zayed at ease." She began, and I looked up at her, eyes narrowed. "I was worried about the two of you." Mona stated. Now that things were getting official and Hamad was finally coming to ask for her hand, she was trying to get close to me. And by close I mean unnecessary honesty.

I, on the other hand, wasn't being completely honest though. "What do you mean?"

Mona sat with one leg crossed over the other, her right arm placed on the backrest of the bench, supporting her head. "I could see some inconvenience between the both of you, in the early days." She affirmed.

As hard as it was, I tried to hide my astonishment, struggling hard to push my upcoming sentence but then I couldn't. I was never a big fan of her anyway. "I am worried about you and Hamad too." I began, as innocently as she had.

She raised an eyebrow, and her lips tightened into a thin line. "Why's that?" She was still capable of keeping her calm, mastering the art of composure just like her brother and very unlike me.

"You know..." I fidgeted a little in my seat. "All these years you've known each other and he never dared to get serious. Had he been playing?" I tried to unbalance her grounds just as she had done mine. How dare she speak about my personal life, if it was hell then it was mine.

I'd intended to turn her weapons at her but the contrary happened. She stared at the ground smiling. "That was for a total different reason." Mona said, confidently.

I frowned, yet again ignorant of another of Hamad's moves. Did I even know my brother? "What other reason?" I questioned.

"You're brother is a very noble man." She praised, madly in love. I fought the urge to roll my eyes and stared vacantly at her. "We would've gotten married a long time ago but he was waiting for you to get married first." She made known.

That instant, something hit me like a lightning bolt and I felt my blood boil. That was ridiculous. How could she blame it all on me?! "Is that how he played you?" I jeered, knowing that whatever I said was very mean, but I couldn't help myself.

My sentence had certainly done some damage, since her composure had melted and she wore a frown. "He didn't play me." She defended and I scoffed. "He did it for you." She insisted.

Suddenly, I snapped losing my patience once and for all. Seriously, her brother comes and gives me reasons for marrying me and now she's giving me crap as well. Frustrated, my upcoming words came out in a rush. "I have nothing to do with the both of you. Clearly you've known him from a long time and couldn't get him under your spell until now. Congratulations for that, now stop blaming me for your ineffectiveness." I spoke the words that seemed like the smart thing to say at the moment but something told me they weren't.

When I looked back at Mona, her face had turned scarlet red and she gawked at me, aghast. "You are nothing like what I thought you would be." She uttered, giving me a scornful look.

"That's not a problem. I don't think very high of you either." I retorted, rage completely taking over me.

She straightened her legs and fixed me in a glare. "You don't deserve Zayed. I can see how much he is suffering with you." By the way her voice was shaking, I knew my words had hit home.

"Excuse me." I blurted.

"I regret not stopping him from marrying you." She said, disgustedly and stood up.

And that was it for me!

For a second, I went completely rigid, my heart was suddenly beating rapidly and blood running faster and warmer under my skin. My heart and hands desired to stand up and slam her confidence harshly at her face. She pretended to know what was going on around, but she didn't. If only she knew anything about our marriage. If only she knew anything about my sacrifices.

"I feel the same way about you and Hamad." I shot back, and she walked away from me without turning back, leaving me sitting there, agitated.

I didn't tell anyone anything about our fight, afterwards, not her brother not even my own. But looks like she had, because Hamad had just called and demanded what had I done to 'poor' Mona! He didn't know what exactly had happened but that jerk certainly had some idea that his witch and I had had a fight. Apparently, 'I' and only 'I' had said something inappropriate to her.

When Hamad refused to let me defend myself, I disconnected his call and threw my phone away and started reading that stupid book which was impossible to understand when I was this mad, but I still wanted to know what was so special about this book 'From Jenaan'.

For the first ten minutes, I was reading without comprehending, still angry at Hamad, but as I got to the topic that said 'If it hurts, then I am alive.' The title itself drew in my interest and I sat there reading for an hour or so, which was unusual, I didn't remember when was the last time I read a book.

My sight became blurry, as my eyes surveyed the next title, 'Reconciliation with one's self'. Not liking the subject I put aside the book, with the desire to sleep right there and then, so I did. I had just put my head down and closed my eyes, when I heard a door open and shut. Sighing in fatigue, I sat up to see a rather resentful Zayed, pacing towards me.

Something was wrong!

"Can you, for the sake of those you love, act maturer than you really are!?" He began, his voice deeper than I had heard, eyes on me as he walked halfway through the dining room and halted two steps away from me.

Ignoring how hard that sentence had stung, I stood to my feet and faced his dark and disturbed eyes. "What's wrong?" I inquired, and tried to remain stable, but stability in front of his wounding eyes was harder than decimation.

"What happened between you and Mona?" He demanded, glaring at me.

My forehead creased into a frown and eye brows pulled down into a scowl. Her again? "Nothing." I denied. "What did she tell you?" and retorted, summing up the most smug look I could ever muster.

"She won't say anything. What have you done to her?" He hissed, jaw clenched and shoulders tensed. Why did he think that I had done something to her? Couldn't she have done something to me?

"Nothing. I haven't done anything to her." I defended, my voice strong and tough.

"I know you better than that." He spat, glaring at me.

I suppressed the urge to scoff. "What could I ever do to her? Won't both his saving guardians skin me alive?" I taunted, preparing myself for a fight and not a flight. I think he knew better about my hostility these days.

He took a breath to calm himself but failed. "Mona is not a woman like you. Just do yourself a favor and stay away from her or else you'll see something you have never seen before." He threatened, an angry vein was throbbing in his forehead again as he took a step closer to me, intimidating me.

"I am not scared of you." I lied, glaring at him. "I am not scared of you, or your wealth, not even your abilities, 'cause I have nothing to lose." The cockiness that I had seconds ago, suddenly dried and I looked away from him, retreating a little. "Hamad was the only person I had in this world, and you people took him too." I yelled, my eyes were suddenly burning and I knew what was coming next.

Turning away, I let my hair curtain my face, so that he couldn't see it.

"You can mess with me, and I know how to deal with you, but my family is off limits." He raged, his tone was demanding, commanding. "Especially Mona, stay away from her." His sharp words were like weapons that hit me and cut deep within my skin. His accusations made me sound like such a bad person, which hurt.

"She isn't as innocent as you say she is." I snapped back, glancing at him. A huge lump was what made me sound weaker when I spoke again. "If I did say something, she wasn't completely silent. In fact she was the one who started it and then she goes off and complains about it too. First to Hamad and now to you. What about me? Who should I go to? Who is there to defend me?"

Here I broke, gasping for breath and tears began to stream down my face. "Who is there to listen to my complaints?" Turning my back to him, I cried. "She has the both of you, but who do I have?" I spoke, placing a hand on my mouth so he couldn't hear me sob.

I cried because I didn't like his reaction.

I cried because Hamad hadn't defended me.

I cried because I hadn't complained to anyone.

I cried because of what Mona had told me.

I cried because I didn't have a father.

I cried because my husband didn't want me.

I cried because I was completely alone.

I cried, why did this happen to me?

Wasn't it enough? Even a strong mountain wouldn't be able to carry this load. No one could bare the load that was placed on my weak shoulders. And just like a mountain would, my legs were shaking too, unable to hold me, so I sat down. Hugging my knees, I rocked back and forth, crying and shriveling into the smallest creature on Earth.

He was watching, all the while, as silent as I had ever known him.

After a good while, he came to sit next to me and surprisingly placed a hand on my shoulder. At his touch, I cried harder. I didn't want him to sympathize me. Him of all people. He'd been honest, honest from the very beginning.

Zayed pulled me gently, closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder. "Shhh..." He tried to lessen my loads, but which one would he began with? I felt like a piece of glass, ready to be shattered any moment. It was that hand around me, holding me together, keeping me from breaking into pieces.

"What a mess. What a mess I am in." I uttered, my entire form shivering like an autumn leave. "Everything I love, is killing me." At that, I felt his fingers tighten their grip across my shoulder, to console me. Unlike Hamad he had a very silent way of consoling. He didn't have words to comfort my heart, no promises, no lies, just the silence. Which was a message to accept the situation I was in. Things may or may not get better, he wanted me to know. And for now, that somehow felt enough!

Going back to Mona's words, I remembered I had to ask him this question. Slowly and awkwardly, I pulled back and he let me go. Once out of his arms, I felt something die inside of me. Ignoring that pain and removing my tears with the back of my hand, I cleaned my cheeks dry.

As I glanced over at him, brushing my hair out of my face so I could look him levelly in the eye. "Did you marry me because of your sister?" I blinked. "Was it so Hamad could come asking for Mona's hand?" I inquired, my eyes pleading for the truth.

He kept his eyes locked with mine, without saying anything. I tried my best to peel his layers of secrets but he wouldn't let me in. However, it was his silence that gave me the answer I looked for.

I turned away from him and stared at the marble floor, feeling his gaze on me. We stayed like that for a while. I wasn't crying anymore but still trembling uncontrollably.

"You might not be able to forget just yet, but you will be able to forgive." were his comforting words that he spoke, at last.

I did not respond this time and sat there, wondering about the secrets in his eyes, the movement of his fingers, the way he has slowly complicated my life!

*******

Hey guyz, hope you'll liked the chapter. Do tell us if you did. Sorry for being so late with the post, you know since it was Ramadan and Eid so yeah. This chp is dedicated to all our patient fans, who we love the most. 

Lot of love

~Witty and Witch