Chapter Fourteen

                                             “The wish”

“This was a terrible day!” Zayed declared, feeling an intolerable soreness rising in his heart. He yearned for some comfort and wished for his problems to solve each other. There was an inner battle he faced within himself and he wanted to get out of there without any loss, but little did he know that whichever way he goes, the loss is his. He felt himself trapped under a stack of negative thoughts which could explode in his head any minute.   

He knew both happiness and grief don’t last for too long but he wished to be happy or at least persuade his mind in believing that everything’s okay…even if it isn’t!

Leaving the room his father had been admitted in, he walked outside to the grounds of the hospital searching for some time, alone. If anyone saw him right that moment they’d say he is utterly angry and he did look quite distressed, with a cringed forehead and big angry steps he strode out of the building to get some air. His lungs needed to breathe in some fresh oxygen and his eyes longed to look at something other than the sight of his beloved father lying on the bed, weak and restless.

The warm air hit his face as the doors opened allowing him to walk out. Sunlight embraced him and touched every cell in his body. He let out a deep sigh as if he’d been holding it in for too long, but he could no more. Although the grounds were beautifully landscaped with flower gardens and topiary, but somehow they weren’t enough; still the image of his father and his eyes kept rushing back before Zayed’s eyes. And guilt kept banging on his chest!

No one was using the pathways for walking; Zayed was grateful because he needed some time alone. He took the right turn that led him to a more peaceful place, a round-shaped garden that was at the very end of the land. It was exactly where he wanted to be, away from people, away from the troubles or any sign of human nature.

Pacing through the silent pathways and tied up in his tangled thoughts, he didn’t realize when he reached the peaceful garden he had aimed for. There was a bench that sat in the shadow of two large trees in front of him, he made his way there and sat down on it. The place was quiet, nothing but the whispers of the wind and the singing of the birds rang around every now and then. And so he sat there organizing his thoughts.

“You think you can escape this?” said a voice, cutting through the silence. Zayed looked up to see a tall man who had the exact same eyes as him and his father. Badr was standing there, smiling slightly at his nephew.

“I wasn’t trying to.” Zayed replied, a little put off as Badr walked forward to join him on the bench. “How’d you know where to find me?”

“You know there isn’t much difference between how we think.” Badr certified, grinning. Zayed nodded because he knew that piece of reality. “Your father was worried about you.” Badr then added.

Zayed had left his parents and his uncle Badr, who came from U.S last Wednesday, in the room with the Nephrologist. Badr had a few questions to ask before Waleed got his dialysis treatment which was due tomorrow. It was Badr’s first time to encounter this since he missed the first two treatments, so he wanted to get as much information as he could.

 He made sure he’ll take his brother, Waleed, to America specially after seeing how he’d been last night. Waleed was brought to the hospital, barely conscious and very sick. Doctors had suggested he stay there until the Hemodialysis was over. Badr had insisted to stay the night with Waleed but Zayed refused and stayed with his father instead.

“I am okay.” Zayed whispered, his eyes fixed at a singing bird on a tree branch.

“You can lie to yourself, but not to me.” Badr contradicted, placing his hand on Zayed’s shoulder. “He’s gonna be alright. I’ll take him with me for better treatment.” He consoled, patting his nephew’s shoulder.

Zayed nodded and buried his face in his hands, then rubbed his tired eyes, gently. Not knowing what more to say, he remained silent. Truly he was glad to have Badr by his side, because he needed someone that could listen to him. But he knew that some things that might trouble him tomorrow are hard to overcome today, so why bother Badr with them.

For Zayed facing his guilt was harder than facing his grief. It was a reminder of how selfish he had been lately. He couldn’t give his father what he had desired just for his own comfort and happiness. He couldn’t look over his pleasure and satisfy his father. It made him feel self-interested and egoistic.

 “Is there something else bothering you?” questioned Badr, examining him. Zayed sighed and threw his head back to look at the endless sky above them. The sun was setting and the sky darkening, gradually.

What could he possibly say? But he had to say something!

“There’s more than just one thing.” He uttered. Badr waited for him to complete but it was Zayed’s ringing phone that disturbed them. He looked at the screen and set it on silent.

“Who was it?” inquired Badr, looking at the phone that sat on the bench, vibrating and circulating there.

“Disturbance..” Zayed murmured bleakly. “It’s Hamad, an old…‘friend’.” He stressed at the last word.

“Hamad,” Badr knit his eye brows, trying to recall. “I think I remember him. Why didn’t you answer his call?”

Zayed smirked. “It’s a long story.” He neglected his question and remembered his promise to Mona. He wasn’t supposed to talk about it.

“I am sure you can summarize.” Badr insisted.

Zayed stared at his phone as Hamad left missed calls after calls and he didn’t pick up. He also didn’t like hiding something from Badr, they were way to close to let that happen. He’d hidden the whole matter of Mona and Hamad from everybody else, but he couldn’t hide it from his uncle, his friend.

“Hamad Allah yesalmak,” began Zayed, “Wants to be your future son-in-law.” He mocked, separating every word from another. He didn’t know another way to put forward the truth, so he came clean and looked up at Badr for his reaction and found him confused.

“Son in law?” Badr was obscured and had more questions to follow. “What do you mean?”

“He,” Zayed paused and his lips pressed together into a hard line, “And Mona have known each other for a while now, and she thinks he’ll marry her.” He announced without trying to hide his annoyance.

“How did you know all of this?” Badr inquired, dismayed.

“Doesn’t matter, the worse thing about the whole matter is that the gutless man can’t come forward to ask for her hand.” Zayed answered, grimly.

 “Why is that?” Badr demanded and frowned at Zayed, impatiently. “Why can’t Hamad come to officially ask for her hand; they aren’t young, I presume.” Badr spoke. For him the news was acceptable except the secrecy of it all. If Hamad really wanted his niece he should come forward, he thought.

“Responsibilities, he has too many of them.” Zayed said, with utter sarcasm. “He has his family to take care of and must not marry when his younger sister is still unmarried.” He ridiculed. “If he was so considerate then he shouldn’t have had affairs with other people’s daughters on the first place.” Zayed ran a hand through his messy hair. “The coward couldn’t do it all in front of me, he waited till I was gone and then began to play with Mona’s brain.” He finished, his earlier anger taking over him. Some part of him didn’t understand what he’d just said.

Badr thought for a minute “How long have you known all this?” he asked, with a trace of disbelief in his voice.

“A week or so.” Zayed confessed. “I got it out of Mona but she had conditions.”

“What conditions?”

“She made me promise not to tell Hamad, claiming that he’ll come for her when the right time comes.” He growled through gritted teeth. “She really seems to like him and has rejected a great deal of proposals now.” He fumed, taking a quick glance at Badr who seemed a little puzzled.

“Is it the same boy who went to school with you? Late Ali’s son?” Zayed nodded in reply. “Did you know him well?” Badr questioned.

“I thought I did.”

Badr restrained a smile; “As far as I know he is a good boy.” he went on but Zayed didn’t say a thing because he couldn’t argue with that. There really wasn’t anything he could accuse Hamad with. “What reason could a man have in adjourning such a matter? Does he have any financial complications?”

“Not that I know of,” Zayed confessed. “But Mona declared that after his father, he feels responsible for his younger sister and wouldn’t get married until she does.” He fidgeted in his seat and felt uncomfortable talking about Mahra to Badr.

“And why doesn’t she?”

Another moment of silence ticked by..

“I have no idea.” whispered Zayed, shaking his head.

They both sat there quietly, Badr concluded that the conversation was over but Zayed’s thoughts disagreed. He was anxious and didn’t know how he should bring his own topic up with Badr, who  might help him convince his father about Janaan.

 But what then? Janaan had already refused, would he eventually consider marrying Shoug? His cousin? Can he really forsake his own contentment and satisfy others? Is he that great? Is he that modest?

Janaan had once said he was!

“I don’t know if you know this but father wants me to get settled as well.” He proclaimed, slowly, not looking at his uncle but staring at his feet, instead.

“So? Where’s the problem in that? You can ask Janaan and I am sure she won’t say no.” Badr predicted, making the whole matter sound so easy and simple. And it didn’t seem that way to Zayed, his uncle’s words and his quick judgment made him smile, warily.

“Well,” He exhaled. “There’s the problem. You see, Janaan doesn’t want to get married any time soon.” Badr furrowed an eye brow as he heard that.

“Really?” He voiced his thoughts.

Zayed avoided his reaction and completed. “And your brother has someone else in mind.”

“Shoug?” Badr guessed, making Zayed smile again and shake his head.

“No that’s mother’s choice, father has other plans for me.” He mocked and Badr sniggered.

“Who’s the lucky girl?” Badr jeered, playfully.

Zayed cleared his throat as if the words that he had wanted to say had been stuck there and pierced his throat. “Mahra..Hamad’s sister, the girl who is employed in our company.” he announced, his voice guarded. As he pronounced the words he looked up at Badr. They both exchanged a grave look. “He’s really fond of her and prefers her above all.” Zayed confessed.

Badr read his fair eyes, and realized what mess his nephew was in. As a friend he had to support whichever decision Zayed made but as an uncle, an adult, he also had to consider all options and put forward all the outcomes. As a friend he should support his decisions but as a guardian he has to lead him to the right decision.

“Did you tell Waleed about Janaan?” He questioned.

“No,”

“Why is that?”

 “He wasn’t so supportive of you and Deema. I don’t see a point on telling him about Janaan on the first place.”

“What about your mother?”

“Not even her, she still is pondering about Shoug.” Zayed chuckled at that and badr joined him.

“Dear God, you are in great trouble nephew. People can’t find one good girl and you have three in line. What dilemma is this?” Badr joked.

“If I knew so much trouble awaited me, I would’ve never come.” Zayed humored and they shared a laugh.

When the laughter faded and Badr saw Zayed getting lost in his thoughts again, he broke the silence; “So, what now?”

“I don’t know,” Zayed leaned back at the bench. “If I do what I want, and marry Janaan, I’ll jeopardize Mona’s situation and from what I saw when she talked about Hamad, I know she isn’t going to marry anybody else. And as far as I know Hamad, for him responsibility comes first.” He shook his head, confused and clueless. His eyes moved around in the garden which was getting darker now. “And then there’s father…looking at him, it tortures me to not give him what he wants.”

“So you are just going to put your wants aside and say ‘Yes’ because of Mona or your father?”

“It isn’t about what I want. If I marry Janaan I don’t know if they’ll be happy or not, but if I do as father wants me to do, it certainly will please them.”

“You seem to have made your decision,” observed Badr.

“No,” Zayed placed both his elbows on his knees and shook his head. “I am still not sure. I just want everybody to be okay with what I choose.”

“Waleed must’ve chosen her..what was her name?” Badr asked. Zayed closed his eyes and opened them.

“Mahra.” He said, his eyes fixed at his entwined fingers.

“Yes, he must’ve seen something in her.” Badr waited for a reaction and Zayed had none, so he continued. “But as your friend, whatever you decide I will always be there for you.” His uncle consoled. Zayed didn’t turn to him, he already knew that, and kept staring ahead instead.

“He’s always considered me as the man, the responsible one and I have secretly enjoyed and always have been proud of that. Even now under these circumstances I could refuse all of this and be selfish, but whenever I look at him and see the way he looks at me, my own wishes, when I weigh them, they seem so little.” He sighed again. Badr examined him closely, he’d never seen him this stressed. “He really likes and wants her as a daughter in law.” Zayed completed, referring to Mahra.

“And you, I suppose, don’t like the girl?” Badr asked.

“Me?” said Zayed, turning to him. “What I see when I look at her, is a girl with a loud opinion.”

“And you think you might not be able to control her?” Badr ridiculed with a smirk. Zayed smiled.

“I don’t want someone that needs to be controlled. She should be someone that walks the path easily with me.”

“And Mahra isn’t that kind?” Badr raised an eye brow.

“You haven’t seen her,” Zayed claimed. “That woman needs to be tamed.”

“Well, then I don’t blame Hamad.” Badr laughed, but Zayed didn’t join him. “You’ve turned into a great man and me and your father are proud of you.” He said after a while as he stared at his nephew. “It might take you some time to come to the right decision but I am sure you’ll make the right one!” He finished, his voice promising.

*'♥♫*

In the parking lot- Dubai Hospital

At nearly Maghrib, when the trailing edge of the Sun's disk disappeared below the horizon, Hamad was accompanied by Zayed in the parking lot, after paying a visit to his beloved uncle, Waleed. Both he and Mahra were concerned when they heard the news and came to visit, immediately. After seeing Waleed and making sure that he was well, both brother and sister were content and left him, promising to visit soon.

Now Hamad stood in front of his car along with Zayed, talking a little formally than how he would’ve liked. He’d noticed a great change in his manner of speech and couldn’t tell what was wrong. He tried to make normal conversation to change the gloomy atmosphere, while his sister waited, impatiently for him in the car.

  Mahra stared out the car’s front window, at the man who stood there facing her brother, and pretended to be friendly. She observed his forceful laughter and fake smiles, which she concluded were because of the situation he’s been in, lately. But even in other circumstances she couldn’t imagine Zayed laughing and making conversations with people. He never approached people, it was vice versa. He was never in the middle of a crowd, everyone else gathered around him.

She couldn’t hear what Hamad was saying to him, but it seemed like he was trying to console him or make him feel better. And Mahra agreed that Zayed needed a change of mood. He looked like he was going through utter tribulation.  Her heart cringed because seeing him like this reminded her of their days with her sick father. She closed her eyes at the bitter memories that rushed in her brain one after the other, without any warning.

Jittery, she opened her eyes and again they travelled to the same image she had been staring at, before. Hamad stood with his back towards Mahra and faced Zayed; whose both hands were stuffed in his pockets, and his back to the hospital building. In the evening lights he silhouetted against a purple blue sky.

Zayed, unlike any other time Mahra had seen him, was very under dressed, with a casual denim jeans topped with a black full sleeved T-shirt. He had rolled up the sleeves up to his elbows, which made him look less petrifying. She noticed Zayed’s tall figure that always stood out amongst his companions. He was both taller and thinner than Hamad. It was also the first time she saw his hair, they weren’t hidden under his Safra (turban) like always. His silk like black hair was normal size from the front and came in short wavy curls from behind, a little longer than Hamad’s cropped ones.

He looked like a normal guy, but a depressed one, Mahra thought! She felt as if he had aged a little since the last time she’d seen him, and that was only a week ago. Mahra immediately noticed that cringed forehead and that stony impression he wore. Was Hamad the reason for that or her visit to his father? She couldn’t tell.

Mahra believed that Zayed had a small judge within himself, who was very unjust. She decided to tell Hamad to stay away from this arrogant guy despite the sympathy that rose in her heart for him seconds ago, but her uproarious opinion screamed louder once again! And as always, it won!

She didn’t like how her brother spoke to him with absolute respect and friendliness but he didn’t receive the same amount of honor he deserved. She glared at Hamad’s back, wishing to somehow get him in the car and herself out of the hospital. This place always made her feel nauseous, the smell of it, the sickening white color all around, it invited sadness!

Accidently, she slightly peeked at Zayed from under her lashes and saw his deep brown eyes looking at her too. She felt her heart skip a beat for a nanosecond and something flipped in her chest, she wasn’t sure what that was. He gazed penetratingly at her and she squirmed, uncomfortable, in her seat. Then within seconds Zayed took his intimidating eyes away from her..but she didn’t. ‘cause her silly self expected him to greet her or just give a short nod as he always did.

A voice rang in her brain. May be it was the banging of her ego, getting hurt. She didn’t know why she was noticing every single detail about him like she always does. For some reason that made her feel foolish. Her lips twitched into a pressed smile as she remembered what her colleagues had once told her. She’d once claimed she will never accept the fact that Zayed’s good looking, and now here she was, close to admiring him. She hated herself for that!

Fortunately, Hamad ended his conversation with his friend. After the greeting and formalities, he walked to his car, joining a very eager Mahra, who sighed dramatically at his approach; “Finally!” She said, announcing her annoyance, but Hamad ignored her. He watched Zayed as he strolled back to the hospital and when he saw him disappear, he started up his car’s engine with a purr.

They were silent on their way to home, until Mahra broke it; “I didn’t know you guys were still friends.” She stated, taking a quick glance at him.

“Who?” Hamad said, absent mindedly.

“You and my boss."

“You mean Zayed?”

“Yeah, him. Is it the first time you’re seeing him since he came?”

“Since when did you keep having data of my friends?” Hamad sniggered, embarrassing his sister. “He’s my best friend, we never grew a part.” He replied after gathering himself.

“Oh,” murmured Mahra, more to herself. “I didn’t think you’d be friends with him and cope up with all that pride.” She said loudly.

“Pride?” Hamad was surprised. “I don’t think he’s proud! He might look that way to people who don’t know him but he really isn’t like that.” Hamad declared, frowning. Mahra laughed at what she thought was his innocence.

“Are you kidding, almost everyone in the office says the same thing.” She pressed.

“It’s because you only see the formal side of him.”

*'♥♫*

Hospital room – 1:30 AM

When the world had gone silent, the universe had hushed, there was one heart in some corner that couldn’t remain calm. It belonged to a son who watched his troubled father, struggling to fall asleep. Many people wouldn’t know how it feels to have ones healthful and hearty father, laying on a hospital bed. It was a dreadful sight for Zayed. He sat on the nearby chair, watching Waleed as hundreds of terrifying thoughts came in his brain, no matter how much he tried to avoid them.

He had turned all the lights off and closed all the curtains to make his father comfortable. A little lamp on the bed-side table was the only source of light in the room. It helped Zayed to watch his father. The room was quiet except the sound of the air condition, noticed Zayed. He also realized that his hands were awfully cold.  

Keeping his eyes on his father and careful not to wake him up, Zayed aimed to get up and set the air condition at a lower temperature. He slowly tried to stand up, quickly regretting doing so as the clunking sound of the chair made his father open his eyes.

“Zayed,” Waleed’s voice broke through the silence.

“Yes, father.” Zayed walked up to his bed.

“What is it? Why haven’t you gone to sleep?” asked the old man.

“Nothing. Are you cold?” Zayed ignored his father’s second question, because he didn’t know how to answer it.

“No, but this back pain won’t let me sleep.” These words made Zayed freeze at his place. “It’s even worse when I lay straight.” complained Waleed in a whisper.

“Son,” called his father and pointed to the headboard of the bed he was lying at. Zayed carefully raised the hospital bed’s headboard so that his father could rest against it. After making sure his father was comfortable, he took a seat near him and watched as Waleed rested back his head on the pillow and closed his eyes.

Zayed stared at his effort of falling asleep, when he realized that there wasn’t anything he could do, his helpless eyes averted to the medical equipments surrounding the bed. His eyes fell on a large bouquet of flowers that Mahra had brought with her. They were placed next to other flowers but Zayed didn’t know why he noticed hers particularly. With the corner of his eyes he noticed his father opening his eyes again and turned to look at him too. The old man tilted his head slightly to look Zayed in the eyes.

He did so for a good minute, observing his son’s features and reading the worry in his eyes. Waleed could never wish for a better son. The thought that he was so blessed made him smile, which Zayed couldn’t miss.

“What?” questioned Zayed in a whisper, repressing a smile.

“Nothing, just admiring my son!” The father claimed. Zayed’s lips twitched into a sad smile upon hearing this. He hadn’t seen his father smile in days, the smile that he wore now resembled the one he had on when Hamad and Mahra came to visit. Waleed had been exceedingly happy to see them, thought Zayed, which made him feel that much more worse- so he planned to change the topic.

“I didn’t get a chance to talk to Hamad,” Zayed referred to his father’s condition. “I don’t know who told him.” he lied, because he knew very well who had informed Hamad; none other than his own sister.

“He must’ve heard it from Rashid.” Waleed guessed in a hushed tone and turned to look at the ceiling.

“Yeah he might.” Zayed nodded slightly, feeling the awkwardness in the air, but he needed to complete what he had started. A moments silence passed, and the ticking clock was proof of that. “He said his mother and sister will be coming to our house to meet mother.” He narrated. “Do you think mother should talk to them then?” His heartbeats ran faster as he said those words.

Waleed turned to look at him absent-mindedly; “Talk about what?” he inquired, eyebrows knit together. Zayed remained silent and stared at his father, hoping his eyes would deliver the message his words couldn’t.

“Talk about what, son?” Waleed questioned again, curiously.

Zayed lowered his gaze, unable to look him in the eyes and stared at the metal of the bed instead. “I have thought about what you said from quite awhile,” he uttered and this time forced himself to look up. “And I don’t see any flaws in your choice.”

“What choice?” Waleed interrogated and when realization hit him; “Are you referring to..” he stopped mid sentenced.

“Yes, your wish.” Zayed mouthed. The effect of his words on his father were great, the knit eye brows now settled back and a smile returned to his dry lips.

“Are you sure?” He still managed to ask. Zayed took in a deep breath.

“Yes. I am willing to marry Mahra Ali.” There he said it, he stated it. With utter caution and care he made the biggest decision of his life. Now he gave his father his word and it is a man’s word, it cannot and shall not be changed. Now there is no going back!

Waleed reached with slightly shaking hands and grabbed Zayed’s palm that was placed on the bed. He took his sons hand and rested it on his chest. He took note of his cold hands and settled his other hand on top of it. They remained like that for awhile, no words were spoken!

“It was a night like this when instead of me Ali laid on a bed just like this one.” Waleed ushered to his own bed. “I stayed by him the last week of his life.” He stared at the dull walls again, remembering his friend. “He asked Hamad to leave us alone and then requested me to take care of both Hamad and Mahra. He knew he wasn’t going to live and was more worried about his daughter because she had no mother of her own.”  Waleed explained, slowly. Zayed was a little taken aback because this piece of reality was new to him.

“Son, I would never ask you to forsake the most important decision of your life, if I didn’t think that my choice was worth considering. I could’ve kept my word to Ali in another way but Mahra is a good-hearted girl, one who knows and practices our customs and beliefs.” He paused to see Zayed’s reaction but he had none.

“You may not get the meaning behind my words or my decision now, but someday you’ll know your old man was right.” Waleed admitted. Zayed pulled back his hands and placed them on his laps. He looked down at them and pursed his lips, considering his father’s words.

“Today you have relieved me from a great strain,” Waleed confided, making Zayed look up again at the satisfactory in his eyes. “By fulfilling, a dying and a dead man’s wish.”

Zayed shook his head in sadness; “Don’t say that,” He uttered. “You have to live to see your grand children.” He tried to lighten up the mood, as he plastered a smile on his face while inside his heart was shriveling up. Waleed made an effort to smile.

“But there is something I need from you!” Zayed exclaimed, his father turned to him with loving eyes.

“Anything!”

“I must speak to Hamad myself!”

*'♥♫**'♥♫**'♥♫**'♥♫**'♥♫**'♥♫**'♥♫**'♥♫**'♥♫**'♥♫*

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