Chapter 5: Unspoken Words
Isla's POV
The days blurred together, each one more tangled than the last. The weight of unspoken things pressed against me, a silent reminder of the tension that had taken root between Azriel and me.
He avoided me now, or at least tried to. His presence was still a constant shadow in my life—both literally and figuratively. Even when I didn't see him, I felt him. His shadows brushed against me in moments of quiet, soft and fleeting like they were checking in on me.
It should have made me feel uneasy, but it didn't.
Instead, it felt like we were speaking a language that only we could understand. A language that Azriel himself didn't seem to know how to handle.
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One evening, I found myself sitting by the Sidra, watching the water shimmer under the moonlight. The city was quiet, the kind of peaceful that only came when most of its inhabitants had retired for the night.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice him approach me until his shadows brushed against my arm.
I looked up, my heart skipping a beat when I saw him standing there, his wings partially furled, his face unreadable in the dim light.
"Isla," he said, his voice low and rough.
I nodded in acknowledgement, unsure of what to say.
For a moment, he simply stood there, as though debating whether to join me. Then, finally, he sat down, leaving a careful distance between us. His shadows, however, had no such reservations. They curled around me, brushing against my skin like they were saying hello.
"You've been avoiding me," I said softly, breaking the silence.
Azriel didn't respond right away. He stared out at the water, his jaw tight. "I thought it would be better that way."
"Better for who?"
"For both of us."
I shook my head, a bitter laugh escaping me. "Do you believe that?"
He turned to look at me then, his hazel eyes burning with something I couldn't quite name. "You don't understand what you're asking of me."
"Then explain it to me," I said, my voice sharper than I intended. "Help me understand why you're so determined to push me away."
His wings shifted, the movement agitated. "It's not that simple."
"Why not?" I pressed.
"Because I'm not free to feel this way," he said, his voice breaking on the last word.
The rawness of his confession hit me like a physical blow. I opened my mouth to respond, but he cut me off.
"I have a bond," he said, his gaze dropping to the ground. "A bond that ties me to someone else. Someone who doesn't... who can't love me back."
"Elain," I whispered, the name heavy on my tongue.
He nodded, his shadows retreating slightly as though they, too, felt the weight of his words.
"But she's not with you," I said carefully. "She's with Lucien."
"That doesn't change the bond," he said, his voice filled with self-loathing. "It doesn't change the fact that I'm supposed to love her."
Three Sisters for Three Brothers.
"Supposed to," I echoed, my heart aching for him. "But do you?"
His silence was answer enough.
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The days after that conversation were quieter. Azriel and I kept our distance, but his shadows were still there, ever-present and watchful.
I found myself studying them more, trying to decipher the way they moved and the way they seemed to react to my emotions. They weren't just an extension of Azriel's power—they were a part of him, a reflection of his innermost self.
And they were telling me a story that he couldn't.
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We crossed paths again a few nights later, this time in the library. I had come to lose myself in the comfort of books, hoping to quiet the storm of thoughts in my mind. But the moment I saw him sitting there, his wings tucked close to his body, I knew it wouldn't be a peaceful night.
"Isla," he said, his voice soft but strained.
"Azriel." I hesitated, then sat down across from him.
For a while, neither of us spoke. The silence between us was heavy but not uncomfortable.
"I've been thinking about what you said," I finally said, my voice barely above a whisper.
He looked up, his hazel eyes meeting mine. "And?"
"And I think you're lying to yourself."
His wings twitched, but he didn't respond.
"You say you're supposed to love Elain," I continued, "but your shadows... they tell a different story."
His gaze sharpened, his shadows curling around him protectively. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't I?" I asked, leaning forward. "They're always there, Azriel. Always with me. They're trying to tell me something, even if you won't."
For a moment, he simply stared at me, his expression unreadable. Then, slowly, he stood, his shadows flickering like a storm around him.
"I can't do this," he said, his voice raw. "I can't be what you need."
"Who said I need you to be anything?" I shot back, standing as well. "I'm not asking for your love, Azriel. I'm asking for your honesty."
He turned away, his wings flaring slightly. "I can't give you that either."
And then he was gone, leaving me alone with the shadows he'd left behind.
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That night, I couldn't sleep. The conversation replayed in my mind over and over again, each word cutting deeper than the last.
I didn't understand why he was so determined to push me away, why he couldn't see what was right in front of him. But I did understand one thing: his shadows didn't lie.
They were his heart, his truth, even if he couldn't admit it.
And they were reaching for me.
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The next morning, I found Azriel in the training yard again. This time, I didn't hesitate. I marched straight up to him, ignoring the wary look he gave me.
"We need to talk," I said firmly.
He sighed, sheathing his blade. "Isla—"
"No," I interrupted. "You don't get to walk away from this. Not this time."
His wings tensed, but he didn't argue.
"I don't care about the bond, about elain" I said, my voice trembling. "I don't care about what you think you're supposed to feel. All I care about is what's real. What's here, between us."
His shadows stirred, reaching for me even as he tried to hold them back.
"You're afraid," I said, stepping closer. "Afraid of what this means. But you don't have to be."
For a moment, he simply stared at me, his hazel eyes filled with so much emotion that it took my breath away. Then, slowly, he reached out, his hand brushing against mine.
"I don't know how to do this," he admitted, his voice barely audible.
"Then we'll figure it out together," I said, lacing my fingers with his.
His shadows wrapped around us then, a silent promise that we weren't alone.
And for the first time in a long time, I felt like I belonged.
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