This day is definitely getting away from me! I'm running behind on an ad I'm shooting that features scantily clad bodybuilders. The problem with this is I had to tell my drag queen clients, The Living Dolls, to just get ready for their turn and wait in the waiting area. I can see what is going on in there from where I'm photographing the bodybuilders.

"Miss Smith, can you please oil my back?"asks Fred, one of my models.

My assistants are busy so I start. It's not the first back I've oiled and it won't be the last. An older woman walks in and asks my receptionist to see me. The woman is told to sit down in the waiting area. The Living Dolls are a surprise to her. Hasn't she ever seen a drag queen before? She looks my way and shakes her head as I finish Fred. As I wipe my hands on a towel, I realize she looks familiar and I can't place her. That's gonna annoy me. She pulls a Bible out of her purse and tries to ignore The Dolls, that's easier said than done.

Cora Set, a brash personality says to Dee Dee Desire, who isn't much better mannered,"Oooo I don't mind waiting. Mmm look at that beefcake! Think he'd get with me?"

"Hell no! Your contour makeup looks like dirt!" Dee Dee reptiles. Mystery woman looks to the ceiling, I swear she's praying.

"At least I'm not too fat for my waist cincher! " Cora retorts before saying to the woman "Which fella you like? You ain't too old to look!"

Cora receives a nasty look.

Gary/Virtue says "Cora! Leave the nice lady alone!"

Cora stands up, turns his back to Gary and raises his backside. The other Doll, the very mild Spark Elle looks a little ill. Gary shakes his head. The mystery woman is aghast. "You've got an ass like cottage cheese-no one wants to see it, Cora" scolds Dee Dee

That's it! I put my camera down and walk as fast as I can over there. "I'm so sorry Madam. Things fell behind a bit and those two got restless. Would you like to schedule an appointment?" I offer.

She shoves her Bible into her purse, glares at me and says," No, I would not! I've seen enough!" each word drips with coldness and she stares right at me. Whoa! What hate! Where am I supposed to know her from?

"What did you do to upset her?" asks Spark Elle

"Wish I knew."

Spark gives me a hug and says,"She's just a bitch. You're nice."

Prince Narrates:

I'm informed that Mom is here. "Mom, how have you been?" I ask before noticing how angry she looks, "Are you okay?"

"How can I be okay when my son is shacking up with a woman like The Mistress of Muscle?" Her eyes cross.

"There's nothing wrong with Penelope. In fact, I want you two to meet before the tour. "

"She and I have nothing to discuss! Do you know what kind of sin goes on in that studio?"

"What..." I'm confused. Penelope doesn't shoot porn there.

"I walked in..."

"You walked in? Just like that? Without an appointment?"

"You were taking your sweet time introducing us! What else did you think I was going to do?"

"Did you speak with Penelope?"

"Barely. She was oiling up a nearly naked bodybuilder and the waiting area was full of foul mouthed crossdressers!"

I can't help laughing at the thought. "This is NOT funny, young man! " Mom exclaims, " You and I need to have a serious talk! "

Mom and I go into the kitchen and I fix her tea. Not giving this woman coffee she's hyped up enough. "Please tell me you are NOT serious about her!" she exclaims

"Serious?" I smirk,"Serious how?"

"Wipe that smirk off your face! You know what I mean! Do you think about marrying this girl?"

"Actually I have. She'd be a wonderful wife. My staff already refers to her as 'The Mrs.' "

Mom looks forlorn and doesn't speak for several minutes. She lets out a long sigh,"Too bad things didn't work out with you and Margaret. SHE was a good girl with solid values. I was more than a little disappointed when I found out she is engaged. What does that art dealer have that you don't?"

"Penelope is a 'good girl' too" I insist

"Good girls don't live with their boyfriends."

"Margaret and I lived together."

"That was different. Shannon was there and you two were broke. What are you getting out of this arrangement other than the obvious?"

Really? She's going to try to parent me now? I take a deep breath "I'm getting a nice honest woman I love who loves the real me. She works hard and doesn't ride my coattails. Her family is kind and treats me like a normal man. Yes, she photographs strange people, but she does nice ads too. You know that local clothing store you like? Guess who did this season's ads?"

Penelope narrates:

"Sugar, I'm home!" I call out. I wander into the kitchen. He's in there with the crabby woman from the studio. Oh shit! now I recognize her! She's Prince's mom- her framed picture is on display here. I give her my best smile. "Hi Mrs. Shaw. What an afternoon, huh?" My nerves feel obvious to me.

"Are they all like that?" she responds coolly.

"No, thankfully." I hold Prince's hand and say sweetly. "I love your son and hope you won't think he's made a poor decision because a couple of my drag clients were mouthy."

"Let's sit down and you two can get to know each other better." Prince smiles.

Things get awkward. I guess I can't blame his mom. But my mom was so polite to Prince when she first met him, even though she'd seen his sexy album covers in the record store. Prince picks up on the discomfort in the room and suggests we go to my office to see some of my work. We show his mom some of my ads that don't have anything to do with fitness. She looks impressed. "These are great,"she says.

"My sister Sabrina had me take her engagement photos, her pregnancy photos and her first family portraits." I tell Mrs. Shaw, "Sabrina is excited about having a professional photographer in the family."

"Who wouldn't appreciate that? You're going to be taking that baby's photo his whole life." Mrs. Shaw says as she actually smiles looking at Sabrina's family portrait. Brad, Sabrina and Sammy are a disgustingly beautiful family.When it's time to say goodbye I watch Prince kiss his mom. She seems a little more at ease, now that she knows there's a "normal" side to my work, but I wouldn't say she likes me.

(Not sure when this was taken, but thought I'd use it  anyway)