Hello guys!

Had my exam and now trying to keep my promise and publishing the first chapter but can't stop laughing at myself. Seriously I think I'll take this story down because I don't have the time to write and neither do I feel like I am justifying the idea.

Anyway, I'll wait for your feedback. (I know it's horrible, don't lie xD)

Love
Shona

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What's love?

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Have you ever wondered how unpredictable and weird life is? You're forcefully born in to a planet where you'll have to struggle to survive and people pressure you to strive for happiness. You're born as an entertainment for your parents and then when the right time comes you need to figure out what you truly want from life.

Well just take my life as an example. I am Zora, a 26 years old pharmacist from Sweden with Desi roots and work to live a decent life. However, I just recently realized that during my 26 years of life I was never actually thinking straight or outside of the box.

I followed society blindly believing that it knew what was best for me, and I still do. My dreams were all about some Prince Charming and happily ever afters, which are all nonsense.

We are born without our consent and from day one we follow society without even questioning it. What's the purpose of my life? Well, in short, according to the society I am born to study, work, fall in love, get married, reproduce, grow old and die.

However, society does not prepare or warn you for the setbacks that comes with life. It surely does not prepare you for the severe heartaches and headaches that comes with life. Society is never there for you in your period of struggle but it will make sure that you'll never forget that you've failed with your life if things doesn't go according to the plans.

Why am I even thinking about all of this? Because I am tired, and when I am tired my mind goes out of control to create a tangled mess that doesn't even make sense.

Yawning widely I wipe away a tear drop from the corner of my eye. "Baby girl, please fall asleep." I whisper tiredly while softly patting my two years old daughters belly.

Her eyes are wide open and are twinkling like bright stars. I sigh while admiring her features that are kissed by a few stubborn rays of moonlight, sipping in through the blinds. She doesn't seem to be even a bit tired while every part of my body is sore and aching for some rest.

She giggles and her big deep brown gaze lands on me. "Mama." She articulate with a huge smile and as always she manage to melt my heart.

She stares at me curiously with her long admirable lashes and she touches my cold cheek with her warm index finger. "Yes, mamas Angel." I smile at her innocence. 

May she always follow her heart and may she never suffer. I am actually worried for her future and pray every day that her destiny differs from mine. My only true wish for my baby is happiness.

"Mama." She goes on and I shake my head with a soft smile.

"Yes mama, it's time to sleep now. We have to wake up early for kindergarten and work, don't we?" I say with a child like voice while pulling her slightly closer to me.

"Mama, I want." She starts but I cut her off tiredly.

"Please baby, time to sleep now." Patting her back I close my eyes and let tranquility surround us.

Being the manager and constant working pharmacist in a drugstore isn't as simple as it sounds. The struggle surely doesn't end with the five year long degree. My heart rate slowly drops and I know that I am on the verge to lose myself to sleep. When suddenly the peace within me comes crashing down.

"Mama, I want Dada." My eyes snaps open in a second and all my senses comes to life as if a bucket of ice cold water has been poured over me.

My heart quickly picks up its rate and violently pumps blood through my rigid body. With my gaze fixed on nothing in particular I try to breathe evenly but all in vain. Starring at the darkness in front of me I harshly gulp before looking down on my angle. Her curious eyes examines mine and I try my best to push away all my thought about him.

No, I don't want to think about how my daughter has inherited his eyes. Those deep brown eyes that I can't help to admire, even though it hurts. I don't want to be reminded, I just don't.

My eyes pools up without my consent and I do my best to not let a single tear slip. Plastering a smile I let my hand get back to softly pat her back. "Sleep my dear, good night." I manage to say, unfortunately with a unsteady voice.

Planting a soft kiss on her forehead I close my eyes and inhale her soothing baby fragrance.

Thankfully she doesn't say anything and cuddles closer to me. While she now tiredly yawns and clutches my shirt in her tiny hands, I lay in bed wide awake.

This was certainly not the first time she had uttered that word. In fact her first word was indeed 'Dada'.

I was on my way back to the living room where Zayne had managed to divert the attention of a crying Zariah when I heard a excited Zayne. I remember every detail of that day, Zariah had a pink long sleeve sleeper on with the print 'Daddy's princess' in white. Zayne on the other hand had a black and blue crossed shirt, he looked a bit too attractive with his dark brown messy hair.

"Zora, did you hear that?" He exclaimed and I sat down beside him on the beige carpeted floor.

A six months old Zariah was placed on his lap. "What happened?" I questioned him and smiled at my adorable angle, she had her index finger in her mouth.

"She said 'Dada', our princess said her first word." He briefed me and my eyes darted up to his shining once.

"Oh my god, really?" I exclaimed equally thrilled and he nodded with a huge grin.

I looked at Zariah with hope to finally hear her say her first word. "Yeah, see I told you that she loves me more than she loves you." He suddenly teased and I slapped his arm which only made him chuckle hard.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "It's not proven until I have heard it myself." I told him off. "Angel, say mama." I turned my attention to Zariah.

Zayne was quick to react. "No way! Don't you dare to manipulate my princess! Princess say 'Dada' and show mommy that she can't compete with your love for your favorite person." He goofed in a weird and beyond childish voice while playing with her arms.

I rolled my eyes and huffed. "Oh please! She's my Angel and she loves me the most. Say 'mama' my love." I said while caressing her cheek and she responded with some droll, which is obviously a bit gross.

However, Zayne didn't seem bothered with that because he had something else on his mind. "I thought I was your love." He winked with mischief in his eyes and a wide goofy smile appeared on my lips.

"Jealous?" I inquired and his intense spellbinding gaze made me feel light-headed.

I felt a thousand butterflies in my stomach in that very moment by just staring into his eyes. His intense but at the same time soft brown eyes didn't let go of mine.

"To be honest, yes." He finally responded with a soft smile which left me surprised with warmth sipping in to my heart.

"Dada." Our attention quickly fell on Zariah as soon as the word left her mouth.

I just stared at her in awe, my baby said her first word and I couldn't be happier.

"Actually I take that back, I guess it's time for someone else to envy?" Zayne triumphantly smiled and I ignored him.

"Mama, not dada! Dada is mean." I immaturely tried to make my angle say her second word.

"Oh please Zora, even you're madly in love with me. So it is obvious that our daughter will love me the most." He went on and I just glared at him.

Crossing my arms on my chest I snapped at him. "And who told you that I love you?" He chucked and I looked away after having rolled my eyes annoyed.

Instantly he pulled me into him in a swift move and a small surprised gasp left my lips. My hands rested on his chest while Zariah was safe on his lap. He bored his deep brown eyes into my pitch black gaze and I instantly got lost in them while he held me in place with his hand on my back. I could never stop myself from admiring his long lashes, which in my opinion was unfairly given to him. With his eyelashes I would never need to apply mascara again.

The corner of his lips slowly raised and he suddenly smirked. "Even today, after four years of marriage, I manage to make you speechless." He proudly boasted with his deep husky voice and I rolled my eyes with a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips.

Without any warning he planted a small kiss on my lips and I blushed hard. Yes, it is a fact that I turned crimson every time he touched me.

Over a year has passed since that very incident that shattered my world into pieces. I have vowed to be strong and to not let any past memory haunt me. He and his memories should not be able to bother me as it does not have any value. Nonetheless, here I am wiping away fallen tears from my moist cheeks for the man who's the father of my child and for the man that I love.