'There was a long hard time when I kept far from me the remembrance of what I had thrown away when I was quite ignorant of its worth.'

-Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

~~~

Hayworth Estate;

Zachary’s heart swelled with pride as he glanced at the faces surrounding him on the table.

All his children were there.
His darling daughter was sitting beside his mother and had a heavenly smile on her face as she listened to something that his youngest son, Philip was trying to gesticulate, his small hands flying wildly in all directions.

Zachary had learnt to treasure moments like these as they were few and far apart.
He could not spend as much time with his children as he desired. It was a price that he had to pay for the responsibility of handling two big Estates. Hence, he had made sure that supper time was the time when his entire family sat together.

Naturally, they all had moments together besides the suppertime but he was not privy to them.

Zachary’s gaze fell again upon his beautiful daughter and he was again reminded of his visit to the Palace that morning.   
He had yet to tell anyone about it but he knew that he could not put it off for long as the Prince was due to visit them any day now.

Maya had grown into a wise young woman.
He could see the kindness emanating from her eyes, same as her mother’s.

She was the voice of reason amongst his children. She took care of her brothers and her grandmother as much as they took care of her. Her absence would leave a gaping hole in all their lives.

Lady Margaret saw the wistful look that Zachary had directed towards Maya.
Although she had seen the same look innumerable times, this time there was something different about it.

She cast an inquiring look in his direction.
“Is there something you want to tell us, Lord Hayworth?”

Zachary heard his mother’s questioning tone and sighed. He knew he had to tell them. There was no point in delaying the inevitable.

All his children were now looking at him.
Scarlet’s brows furrowed as she sat beside him.

“I went to the Palace today. The King had called for me.”
He began in an uncertain tone. He knew what he was about to tell them would not be received well.

Lady Margaret looked at him expectantly.
“What did he say?”

She was well aware of the tension that had enveloped their friendship and knew that Zachary was not on very good term with his friends anymore. Hence, this new was not something that she had been expecting.

Zachary took in a long breath before continuing,
“He asked for Maya’s hand in marriage for Prince Edward.”

The atmosphere of the hall had turned tensed.

Lady Margaret was filled with apprehension.
She had anticipated this day- a day when her dear Maya would have to leave them to start her own family but this was too soon.

“What?”
The disapproving voice of Brandon Hayworth echoed in the hall. He was looking at Zachary with an unmasked anger in his eyes.

Zachary met his gaze fixedly.
He knew his son’s dislike for him. It had grown steadily over the last few years once he was wise enough to grasp onto the unspoken truths regarding the circumstances of his mother’s death.

The wedge between them had grown to the point where Zachary was bereft of even a single loving glance from his own son.
He could only reminisce about Brandon’s childhood, a time when his innocence had prevented him from grasping onto the undertone of tension in the household and amongst those residing in it.

Zachary could only thank the Lord for the mercy he had shown him in the form of his daughter’s reaction.

Maya had been more forgiving than her brother.
He had no doubts about her disappointment in him but was thankful for the fact that she had a more benevolent heart- one which beat with forgiveness for even the sinners.

But Zachary was not a fool to take this forgiveness for granted. He knew that it was only good as long as it lasted.
For once his children came to know of the full extent of his cruelty towards their mother, they would be lost to him forever.
He had vowed not to let that day come; for the day he saw hatred in his daughter’s eyes would be his last.

Zachary finally let his gaze meet that of his daughter’s.
The confusion and slight- though unmistakable look of betrayal caused a pang in his heart.
He itched to remove that look from her face and reassure her that he would shelter her from all the pain in the world.
He would never betray her.

“Did you agree to it?”
Brandon’s voice carried an accusatory tone that was easily observable.

Zachary scrunched his eyes as the early throbbing of a headache assaulted his temples.

How he wished he could escape this predicament!

“Brandon, calm down.”
Lady Margaret’s gentle voice eased some of the tension in the hall.

“What did you say?”
Her voice was now directed towards him and Zachary met her eyes with unmasked restlessness as he spoke,
“I hardly had a choice, Mother. I could not refuse him. He is the King.”

Lady Margaret’s eyes filled with a strange look.
“You never could refuse the King, could you?”

Zachary felt the barb as sharply as he might have felt a blow to his side.

“He is your friend. I do not think he would force you with consequences if you refuse to marry your daughter to his son.”
It was Scarlet who spoke, her voice filled with concern- concern that Zachary no longer cared to address.

He saw Brandon cast a heated look at Scarlet, causing her to retreat back. Zachary continued in an earnest voice,
“It is not about that.
Of course, he would never force me. He simply put forth his proposal.
I think that the match is well thought of.
Prince Edward is a good and honourable man. We could not hope for a better match for Maya. She would be happy there.”

“How can you be sure about that? Did you give a single thought to Maya?”
Lady Margaret marveled at the fact that her son still had the potential to disappoint her further.

She knew that on the surface it was the ideal match. She had even met Prince Edward on several occasions.
The last she had seen him had been at Princess Elizabeth’s wedding ceremony almost a year ago.
She remembered him as a fine young man. He was every bit a royal heir.
But she knew from experience that appearances could be deceptive.
You cab never gauge the nobility of a person simply based on hearsay.

“I am not sure.
You are right, Mother.
That is the reason I have yet to agree to the King’s proposal. I asked him to allow Maya to meet Prince Edward first.
Her decision will be final. If she is ready to marry him after meeting him, only then would I allow this union.
I would never force my will upon her.”
Zachary’s voice was calm as he spoke his words, opting to look at Maya instead of Lady Margaret.

He took a breath of relief when he saw his daughter’s shoulders relax.

Yes, darling! Retain some faith in your father.
Your faith is the one thing that gives me the strength to continue this wretched existence.

Lady Margaret felt a wave of reassurance at his words.
At least he had not succeeded in failing his daughter completely. It was the only respite she could have at the moment.

She continued in a more composed tone,
“When is he coming?”

“Probably day after tomorrow. Eric did not seem to be too keen to postpone it.”
__________________________________

Brandon seethed in anger as he stomped his way through the courtyard, the silver threads of moonlight weaving patterns of agony through the canopy of the trees surrounding him, almost seeming to be an extension of his own emotions.

The beauty of the moon seemed to be mocking him, reminding him of his various incapabilities.
Averey found him in that state, pacing the grounds, a profound frustration masking his face.

He took a deep breath as he approached him,
“Brother…”

Brandon stopped in his steps and turned to look at Averey.
His anger calmed a little, as he saw the look of concern on his brother’s face.

He could not help himself. Averey had always been the wiser one of the two and had helped him in reigning his uncontrollable anger on more than one occasion.

There was a moment long back when Brandon had been angry at him too.
He had almost begun to hate him for the sins of his mother.

Him and all his brothers.

Those were darkest days in his life.
He had been resentful and bitter for a long time.
He saw in Averey the betrayal that his mother had to face at the hands of her husband friend but he was soon disillusioned.

It was Maya who had guided him during those times.
She had reminded him that it was cruel to blame Averey for what had happened.
He was just as hurt as us. He had to face the truth of his own mother’s wrongdoings just as they had to face the truth of the trials that their mother had to face.
They were all victims of fate and would only find some peace if they were there for each other.
His grandmother had said the same thing and it helped Brandon to clear his head.

He could still starkly remember the moment he had embraced Averey afterwards.
His brother had been in tears. Maya was right- he was hurting just as much as them.
He was drowning in the guilt that was not his to take.
And he had reminded him of just that.

None of what had happened had been Averey’s fault.
He was his younger brother; they all were.
And as long as he was alive, Brandon was going to love and protect them with his soul.

“You need to remain calm, Brandon; if only for Maya’s sake. Your anger would do no good for anyone.”
Averey spoke in a soft voice as he came to stand in front of him.

Brandon sighed deeply as Averey’s words registered themselves in his mind.
Of course, he knew that.
But that did not stop him from feeling helpless- once again unable to protect the one he loved from being snatched away from him.
And that too at the hands of the same man.

“I hate him, Averey.”

He did not need to explain himself.
Averey knew whom he was talking about. He had known this for years.
Brandon’s hatred for their father only seemed to grow with time.

He knew very well what it felt like to be disappointed in the person who had brought you to life.
It was painful to the extent of being unbearable.

He hated himself for hating his own mother.
A child is supposed to shower all the love, affection and gratitude on their parents.
She loved him; he knew that very well.
And that made it just that hard to hate her.

It was unfathomable to think that the woman who showered him and his siblings with so much love had such a cruel heart; that she could be responsible for wrecking what would have been a perfect family.

He found it hard to believe that such a side of her ever existed. But it was painfully obvious that it had- the jibes of the society, the murmurings of the maids, the refusal of his aunt Eleanor to even be in the same space as his mother and the ever-accusing eyes that his grandmother had reserved only for his parents made it crystal-clear.

He made sure not to let his disappointment and hatred for his parents show, unlike Brandon.
Instead, he remained civil towards them.
He knew he had no right to feel as sorry for himself as he did.

He had no right to be angry at his parents.
That right was fully reserved for Brandon and Maya.
But Maya was too kind to be hateful towards either his mother or father. That only left Brandon.

Averey knew he was blessed to have such siblings.
They did not hate him even after they realised the bitter truth- that their father had left their mother at her death-bead, only to be in the embrace of his mother.

Brandon and Maya had been too kind; so kind in fact, that he was now forever in the debt of their kindness.

Each time he heard another person proclaiming the kindness and wisdom that Lady Saya Hayworth had possessed, he fell deeper in their debt; for that just presented to him another quality to admire in the woman he had never met- a woman who was denied a chance to be with her children.
He felt regret for playing a part in denying Brandon and Maya a chance to feel the love of such a remarkable woman.
And it perplexed him further to think that his parents had deceived a woman of such a pure heart, without burdening their conscience.

“I cannot let him force her to do this, Averey.”
Brandon continued in a tortured tone.

Averey was well aware of his feelings as he was going through the same emotions.
Maya was too precious for them. They all would do everything possible to keep her happy.

“He is not forcing her, Brandon. Believe me when I say that our sister is not as weak as we perceive her to be.
Do not mistake her kindness for weakness.
She is a good judge of character- better than all of us.
She would not agree to this marriage if she finds Prince Edward to be unsuitable in any regard.”
Averey continued in the most convincing tone that he could muster at the moment.

He would be lying if he said he was not concerned for his sister. But he had to believe in her wisdom.

Brandon sighed deeply as he let his brother’s words to register in his mind.

Averey was right.
Maya would never agree to the marriage if she found Prince Edward unsuitable.
She knew that if she was unhappy after marriage, she would be subjecting her family to an even greater unhappiness.

“You are right, I need to have faith in her.”
Brandon spoke in a calmer voice.

Averey gave a sigh of relief. Brandon was finally listening to reason.

“But that does not mean I am going to sit back and give that man an easy time.
He is going to face my scrutiny before he even has a chance to step near my sister.
I do not care that he is older or a fucking knight or even a Prince.”

Averey chuckled at his brother’s words and spoke with an unsettling ease,
“Oh Brother! That is not even something to consider.
He would have to face hell on Earth if he even thinks of hurting her.”
__________________________________

Maya sat in her chambers, looking out at the beautiful night-sky.

The moon was in its full splendour, basking in the attention of the thousands of stars surrounding it.
They all were fools- knowing that it was futile but still trying to outshine each other just to gain some of the moon’s affection; affection that was only reserved for the Sun and no one else.

That is what she wanted in the person with whom she would be sharing her entire life- loyalty.

Maya closed her eyes and felt the night-breeze caress her face, lifting tendrils of her black tresses.
She never felt as peaceful as she did at that moment- sitting near the window of her chambers- the chambers that used to belong to her mother.

She wondered whether her mother too sat near this same window- felling as peaceful as she did at this moment.
She often wondered about such things.

Maya tried not to think too much about the sorrows that her mother had faced in her life.

There were already too many people who did that.
Her own brother was forever plagued by the injustices that their mother had to face in her short life.

She feared that that was what their mother would be reduced to- an unfortunate woman who placed her trust in the man who betrayed her.

No. She had taken it upon herself to remember her mother as a vibrant woman- a woman who was once just as alive as them.
A woman who gave her full heart to all she did.
A woman who loved with her entire heart, who trusted with her entire heart and one who was kind and forgiving.
Such a woman, as only a few have come to being.

Maya was proud to be her daughter- not sorry.
She did not want others to pity her.
She was proud of her mother and her sacrifices.

She knew that many thought of her as being too kind and naïve for her own good but Maya disagreed with them.
She understood her mother.

She knew her as a woman who never held back at anything she did.

How many people could say that? Not many for sure.

Saya Hayworth had lived short but she had lived fulfilled.

That is how Maya wanted to remember her; not as the poor woman with a heart of gold, who was abandoned by her husband at her death-bed and betrayed by the woman she had considered as a friend.

It was the sole reason for which she had decided not to hate her father and Lady Scarlet.

She would never forgive them but she would also never hate them.

Hatred was too strong an emotion.
Once it was seated in your heart, it consumed it like a plague.
It was only a matter of time for your heart to be devoid of anything else.
Such was the power of hatred-it left little space for anything else- anything worthwhile.

Maya did not want to waste her time hating someone when she had so many others to love- her brothers, her grandmother, aunt and cousins, uncle Geoffrey and her mother.

So, she had tried her best to help her brother escape that hatred. But she had only managed to do a little and the hatred had already taken root.

She feared that it was all he would be reduced to- a bitter person.
The fact that he had the sense to realize the innocence of their brothers- especially Averey, was the only solace that she had.

Maya had seen another glimpse of that hatred tonight.
She knew that it was only natural for her brothers to worry but she wanted to assure him that she was no martyr.

She would never marry a man who was unable to keep her happy; for she knew that her happiness meant a lot to them.

Maya had seen Prince Edward on the day her grandmother had taken her to the Palace for Princess Elizabeth’s wedding ceremony.

She did not remember much- only that he had been easy to spot among the sea of figures surrounding the grand Palace ballroom.

He was tall and built- but that was expected for all the Knights. What had really made him stand out was the aura that had surrounded him.

He was the Prince after all- the man who would one day lead their Kingdom.

A new wave of apprehension filled Maya as she realised what this meant- if she agreed to the marriage, there was a high chance that she would one day have to rule this Kingdom beside him.

She was just a girl wanting to lead a happy life, making her family proud.
Was she ready for the possibility of that huge responsibility?

Just when she felt the worries cloud her heart, there was a soft knock on the door.
Maya gave a relaxed smile, thankful for the intrusion.
She knew who it was even before the door opened to allow her grandmother to enter the room, causing a wave of relief to wash over her.

“Grandma…” Maya’s voice was soft and grateful as she stood to meet her grandmother.

Lady Margaret smiled just as softly upon seeing her granddaughter.

How blessed was she to have her!

Her presence made Saya’s absence almost bearable.
It was like she had never left them.

“How are you, my dear?” Lady Margaret spoke in a affectionate tone.

“I am fine, grandma. What would bother me?”
Maya tried to keep her voice light and relaxed but she knew her anxiety did not escape Lady Margaret.

“You know that I would never let anyone force you to do anything, don’t you? You only have to say it once if you do not want to marry him.”
Lady Margaret spoke in an assertive tone.

She meant every word that she had spoken.
She was not going to break another one of her promises.
She failed Lord Bradford when she could not protect Saya.
She was not going to fail Saya now.

She had promised her to take care of Brandon and Maya and she was going to do just that.
She would not let anyone ruin her granddaughter’s life.
They would have to go through her first.

“Yes, grandma. I know…”
Maya smiled fondly as she fell in the embrace of her grandmother- feeling safe in the one place that she had been her safe haven as long as she could remember...

__________________________________
Author's note-
*Enters*
*Should I say something? Apologize for the delay maybe...*
*Hesitates*
*Well... Let's not. It's repetitive*
*Goes*
*Repeats*

Till the next time,👋
(P.S. there is definitely going to be the next time.)

Also, I hope you guys are safe and healthy.
It is a time of great tribulations. We have to stay calm and have faith.
Stay healthy everyone!