'Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,
but to be fearless in facing them.

Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but
for the heart to conquer it.'

-Rabindranath Tagore
***

Bradford Estate;

Brandon wiped his palms against the fabric of his trousers, trying to sooth his nervousness, while Geoffrey sat looking at him with a concerned expression.

“Maya was right. You are definitely not yourself.”

Brandon fidgeted even more upon the mention of his sister. He knew she had to be the one responsible for his uncle’s visit. For, no matter how angry she was at him, she would never abandon him…unlike what he did.

“I suppose you are not going to tell me what is wrong.”

Brandon considered his words, knowing well enough that he was right.
He could not disclose the truth to him.

For as long as he could remember, Brandon had strived to be like Geoffrey. He wanted to be the man he had admired.
If Geoffrey knew what he had done…

Not a second went by where he did not think of his sister’s words. They echoed in the confines of his mind, torturing him with their intensity.
It had not taken him long to compute their truth.

She had been absolutely right- he had indeed turned into the monster that he always designed his father to be.

The mere thought of what he had done to Emma, sent him through a blaze of self-depreciation and remorse. He knew that no matter what he did, he could never repent for that.

His mind played tricks on his conscience, causing him to envision Emma leading a content life with his brother. He pictured them as a happy family- with his child looking up to Averey as his father.
These thoughts corroded his peace of mind.

He had not had a moment of ease in the past three months, since Emma’s wedding.

Now, he sat before the one man whom he had never wanted to disappoint; for this man had been more of a father to him than his own. And the thought of letting him down, filled him with even more disgrace.

Geoffrey saw the conflict on Brandon’s face and sighed heavily.
When Maya had expressed her concern about Brandon’s wellbeing, he had not wasted another moment and had rushed to the Bradford Estate.

She had not been particularly clear about the reason behind her bearing, but Geoffrey had detected her unease and reluctance and had decided to see for himself.

However, now, as he sat facing Brandon, he knew it had been the right decision.

There was definitely something plaguing his mind. He looked a shell of his old self. The pallor of his face was a clear indication of him spending little to no time under the sun, while his body had certainly lost much of its mass.
Concern for his health welled up in Geoffrey. But he knew better than to be upfront with his questions.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Brandon raised his eyes up to him and spoke in a wounded tone,

“Am I like my father, Uncle Geoffrey?”

Geoffrey was taken aback by the stark fear and panic in his eyes. His heart plunged as he saw the courageous boy he had seen growing up, look so…timid.

He placed a firm hand on his shoulders, fixing his sincere gaze at him.

“You are you, Brandon. You are the person you want to be.”

Brandon shook his head vehemently, letting his eyes well up with unshed tears.

“I have done something terrible; something which haunts me every moment of the day, Uncle Geoffrey. I hurt the one person I loved; one who loved me with all her heart. It hurts, it hurts so much…”

Geoffrey’s heart clenched at the pain he detected in Brandon’s eyes. He wanted nothing more than to pull the boy in his arms and sooth his pain.

“Then do something about it. Sitting here, and wasting away your life in this manner is not going to help you accomplish anything.
If there is something I have learnt from this life, it is that we shall never let the moments pass us by, Bran.
If you have hurt this person, then go and apologize to them. Let them know that you are just as affected by what you did; that they are not the only one hurting. Life seldom gives us all a chance to say what lies in our hearts, Bran. If you have that chance, you shall never let it go.”

Brandon hesitated as he considered his next words;

“And what if she is happier without me? What shall I do if she doesn’t forgive me, or need me back in her life?”

Geoffrey smiled wistfully as he pulled back, gazing instead, at the setting sun in the horizon.

“Then you would be content, knowing that the person you love with all your heart has been able to find the happiness that she deserves. If your love for her is pure and untainted by your selfishness, and if you are sincerely remorseful about what you have done, then you would step back and be grateful for her happiness.
For that is what true love is, my son. It is not just about finding fulfilment with each other; rather it is about finding contentment in each other’s happiness- wherever and with whomever it might be.”

Brandon looked at Geoffrey in a new light, seeing for the first time, the longing and reconciliation that lurked behind his sombre expression.

He wondered if he had gone through something similar- and if he himself had the courage to do what he had asked of him.

Could he really reconcile to the fact that Emma had probably gained her happiness with someone else?
Did he even have the right to ask otherwise?
There was only one way to know…
__________________________________

Hayworth Estate;

Emma gazed blankly at the parchment in front of her.

She had been sitting in the same spot for the past half an hour, waiting to write a letter to her mother.
But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t find the right words; not when the moment presented to her a cruel reminder of all the times she had sat in the sanctuary of her own home, writing her heart out for Brandon.

She was reminded of all the times they had shared those secret letters, although most of them had been from her.
She had known that Brandon was not much inclined to the idea, but that had not stopped her from fulfilling her romantic fantasies.
Little had she known that the path would lead to excruciating heartache and agony.

After a moment, she decided she could not bear it any longer. Her mother would have to wait for a word from her.

She stood up with a shuddering sigh, balancing herself on the arms of the chair.

“Emma, are you done with the letter? The squire would be leaving soon.”

Her husband’s warm voice caused some of the unpleasantness to pass, causing a small smile to adorn her face.

“No, I think it would take a little more time. I might send it to her the next week.”

Averey frowned as he neared her. It was hard not to miss the lines of distress etched at the corners of her eyes.

“Is something the matter? Is the little one alright?”

Emma’s face relaxed as she looked at his worried expression.
Over the past four months, she had begun to admire her husband for more than just his generosity.

Each day, she discovered a new quality about him and marvelled at the fact that there were still men, as kind and warm-hearted, as him.

There were many instances when she had let her insecurities and misery overcome her.
He had stayed with her through all those moments, reminding her of his presence and support.

She knew he listened to her sobs each night for more than a month, falling asleep only after he had made sure of her comfort.
He had never tried to approach her during those nights, choosing instead, to lie still on the settee.
She had not missed his sharp breaths; but even though she had tried her best, she could not stop those sobs.

In the stillness of the night, the shadows of her worst nightmares loomed above her; reminding her of the utter dejection that she had faced at the hands of the one man she had trusted.

If not for Averey’s presence, she doubted she could have survived all those nights.

And now, yet again, he was here; his face eloquent of his love for the child that she was carrying.

She knew that her child would be fortunate to have him as his father.
He would never feel the rejection that Brandon had made her feel.

No, she will never let her child know that the man who had sired him, had refused to acknowledge his own flesh and blood.
As far as she was concerned, it was Averey who had been with her through all the tribulations, caring for her child, the way a father is supposed to do.

“Everything is alright. I was simply tired. This child is too restless today.”

Her tired grin was met with Averey’s curious stare at her abdomen.

“Is the- is he moving?”

Emma chuckled warmly at the excitement in his eyes.

“Yes, he has not stopped moving ever since he first discovered how to do that.”

Averey’s eyes brightened with adoration as he looked at her face.

He always cherished these moments- moments when she would let go of the pain, and allow herself to feel the wonder of bringing a new life into the world. In these moments, with her uninhibited smile and shining eyes, he could glimpse the old Emma; the Emma that he often feared to have lost.

“That is good news. He must be a healthy babe.”

Emma’s eyes glistened as she stroked her abdomen, wishing for Averey’s words to be true.

Averey hesitated before speaking again, albeit in an unsure tone,

“Do you mind-"

Emma snapped her gaze to him in surprise.
She had been wanting to share this feeling of amazement ever since she first felt her child move. But she had never had anyone.

Lady Hayworth had been civil, but not too affectionate to her ever since the wedding.
Averey’s brothers had been understanding and welcoming, but she couldn’t possibly share such an intimate moment with them.

Her guilt and hesitation had never allowed her to consider the possibility of Averey’s interest in doing so.
It did not matter how much he loved the child; there was still the possibility of him being so courteous, simply for the sake of duty and responsibility.
For, at the end of the day, it was his brother’s child that she was carrying.

But now, as he looked at her with anticipation and hope, she wondered if she was wrong about denying this to him.
What if he had been just as hesitant as she was?

She smiled encouragingly before nodding her head.

Averey felt his shoulders drop with relief.

He had feared she would not be too receptive to his request. He knew she considered him nothing more than a friend; and hence, had not approached her with this request before.
He had simply been content with seeing her waist expanding with each passing month, knowing that the child was healthy and safe.

He had tried not to let his yearning show on his face, as he saw her stroking her womb, wishing he could do that same and feel the life that was growing inside of her.
For, he no longer cared about the fact that the child was not his. It rarely even crossed his mind. He loved him just as much.

When he had married Emma, his sole reason was to preserve her honour and save her from humiliation; but after witnessing her grow heavy with the child, he could not help but feel an immense need to protect him. He could not wait till he entered this world.

“Averey?”

Emma’s soft voice broke his reverie and he smiled affectionately before placing one palm gently over her abdomen.
He immediately felt a soft flutter from beneath and gasped with bewilderment.

“Was that?”

Emma grinned when she saw the wide grin on his face.

“Yes, that is him.”

Averey pressed gently against her dress, making sure not to exert much pressure, and was awarded by another flutter.

“Lord!”

His exclamation was followed by a hearty chuckle from his wife and they both continued to marvel over their shared bit of happiness.
__________________________________

“Is Philip asleep?”

Scarlet gently closed the door behind her before turning to face her husband.

“Yes, the fever has gone down.”

Zachary gave a relieved nod at her words.

“That is good.”

Scarlet followed him to the end of the hallway.

“I wonder how long this is going to last.”

Zachary turned a perplexed glance at his wife, stopping in his tracks.

“What?”

Scarlet sighed heavily before facing him with a wry smile on her face,

“How long till Philip comes to know the truth and starts hating me just like my other children.”

Zachary’s eyes hardened as he snapped his gaze back from hers.

“What nonsense! Of course, they don’t hate you.”

Scarlet scoffed drily.

“How would you know that? You hardly spend any time with me or your children. I have seen the disappointment in their eyes. It is still a bit subdued in Edmund’s case, but it is there nonetheless.”

Zachary did not want to acknowledge the fact that she was right; that he had seen the same hatred in their eyes for himself.
That his reluctance to spend time with his family was a means to escape that disappointment.

“You are being delusional. They are your children, Scarlet. A child can never hate their mother.”

His tone was softer as he looked at her.

He could see the hollowness of her eyes as she gazed ahead and knew that the woman he had once fallen in love with was long gone.

This was all his fault. He had dragged her in this.

“You are probably right. A child can never hate their mother. But do you know what is worse than that?”

Scarlet turned her stony at the ceiling,

“A child avoiding their mother’s eyes for the fear of her discovering their disappointment.”
__________________________________

The Palace;

Maya squealed with surprise as her husband lifted her up in his arms, twirling her around in their chamber.

“Oh Lord! Edward, stop!”

Edward snickered in amusement as he put his wobbling wife back on her feet.

Maya placed a comforting hand at her chest, willing it to still her wildly-beating heart, before throwing a smack at Edward’s arm.

“What in the Lord’s name was that?”

Edward rubbed his arm with a grin adorning his face, not bothering to hide his thrill at her displeasure.

“You seemed too sullen standing over there. So, I thought I would give you something to be excited about.”

Maya tried to don an annoyed expression but could not keep it up for long. In another moment, she found herself smiling at his antics.

“I really wonder what the people would say, if they saw their Prince acting like this. You are such a child sometimes!”

She made her way to the foot of the bed, sitting down as she looked up at his amused expression.

Edward soon sat himself beside her, his expression softening as he stroked her cheeks tenderly.

“Now, kindly have mercy on your poor husband and tell him what was plaguing your mind?”

Maya sighed resignedly, deciding to voice her concerns to him.

“I was thinking about Bran.”

Edward nodded his head in understanding.
He knew that something had happened on the day of Averey’s wedding. After she had forced him to leave for the Palace, Maya had visited Brandon.

He did not know what had transpired between them, but ever since the day, she had often been distressed.

“What about him?”

“I just- I want him to be happy, Edward. I fear that if he continues being the way he is, fostering old wounds, he will eventually destroy himself.
And I do not want that for my brother. I am afraid for him.”

Edward pressed his lips gently against her forehead, trying to sooth some of her tension.
When he looked back at her, his eyes were filled with resolve.

“Nothing of that sort is going to happen. I know that because Brandon is your brother. He might lose his way for a while; but he is bound to come back stronger. Have faith in him, Maya. Alright?”

Maya let herself be engulfed in his tight, reassuring embrace.

She prayed for Edward’s words to be true. For, she couldn’t bear to see her brother hurt himself anymore…
__________________________________

Seaborne Estate;

Richard had just readied himself for the bed when a soft knock sounded on his door.

His confusion increased further when he found his wife standing in the doorway.

“Minerva? Is everything alright?”

His thoughts immediately went to Will. Was he hurt?

Just as he opened his mouth to ask the question, he found her lips pressed firmly against his.

Minerva felt herself shivering with a strange mix of fear and anticipation.
When she had decided to come to Richard, she had not given it any more thought than was necessary.
She knew that if she thought about it for another moment, she would be too afraid to go through with it.

Ever since their marriage, Richard had been a perfect gentleman.
She knew he was being considerate of her when he removed his hands before they could venture anywhere other than what was deemed appropriate.

Even after she had begun addressing him by his first name, he had done nothing more than to place a few chaste kisses on her mouth- few and far between.
They still slept in different chambers; and Minerva knew that he would probably keep on doing so if she did not take any initiative.

It had taken a great amount of courage on her part to persuade herself to do this.

For years, she had been terrified of a man’s touch. In her experience, it brought nothing but pain and humiliation.
But as she came to know her husband, she began craving his touch.

She did not know whether she should feel that way; but the few times he allowed himself to be in her vicinity, she had felt nothing but secure and adored.

His presence did not make her skin crawl or body shudder with revulsion, the way she had felt whenever Silas Cavendish had touched her.

No. Instead, in his presence, she wanted nothing more than to feel his skin against her, and know that despite of all that had happened, there was a man who was ready to accept her and love her.

She knew she trusted him enough to be with him in a more intimate manner. She did not want to decline him something that they both wanted.

But now, as she pressed herself against her husband, she felt him stiffen up.

Richard’s mind stopped forming rationales as soon as he felt his wife’s delectable lips.

For such a long time, he had prevented himself from feeling her touch.
He knew what she had gone through; and that she probably would not be receptive to his advances.

He did not want to break her trust in him. Hence, he had made sure to keep his desire under check, whenever he was around her.
He had made sure not to let his lips linger for more than a minute each time he kissed her, for the fear of losing his restraint.
And even though he had wanted nothing more than to bury himself in the warmth of her soft body, he had stayed in his chamber, never once venturing to hers.

Hence, he could not help but freeze as soon as he felt his control weakening.
He found himself pulling back from Minerva’s embrace, and looked into her lost eyes- eyes that were quickly welling up with tears.

“Minerva? What is wrong? Did I do something?”

Richard cursed himself as the first tear rolled down her cheek. He must have startled her.

She must have been scared and confused, and came here for his reassurance, while he had probably come on too strong and frightened her even further.

Minerva’s lips trembled as she shook her head, feeling dejection slice through her.

Of course, he would never want her!

All this time, he must have been trying to be polite to her. He had simply wanted to save her from the clutches of Silas Cavendish.

And here she was- making a fool out of herself and mistaking his generosity for love.
Who would ever love a slave?

“N-Nothing, My Lord. I apologize. I-I don’t know what had come over me. Please excuse my impertinence.”

Richard frowned in confusion as he heard the formality of her voice. He found himself abound with panic.

He quickly pulled her back, just as she was about to exit the chamber in a hurry.

“No, Minerva! You are never an inconvenience! Why are you being like this? And why are you addressing me like that? I thought we were far beyond the point of such silly formalities.”

Minerva avoided his gaze as she tried to control her tears.

Richard’s frown deepened when he detected the hurt on her face.

Could it be-

“Minerva, look at me.”

His tone softened into a pleading whisper as he tugged her chin upwards.
She met his gaze with hesitant eyes.

Richard sucked in his breath when he noted the absolute defeat in them.

“Minerva, why did you come here”

He saw her chin wobble as she struggled to maintain her composure.

“Nothing. It was a silly thought. I was being a fool.”

Richard’s hands stroked her cheeks, causing Minerva to look at him with an unsure expression.

“Tell me.”

The intensity in his eyes was scorching and she found herself lost in their magnetism, replying in a feeble voice,

“I just- I wanted to be with you…as your wife.”

Richard felt his senses light up with fire as he grasped the meaning behind his words.

She had wanted to...and he had-
Oh dear Lord!

He looked back at her agonised face and felt the need to kick himself.

It must have taken her tremendous courage to come to him. And what had he done? Outright rejected her!

His heart sped up as he reminisced the feel of her figure flushed against his.

He thought of what this must mean- that she trusted him enough to come her by herself.
Oh, Minerva!

“It does not matter. I was wrong. I will take my leave now.”

He tightened his hold on her before she could escape from his arms.

“Why are you so intent on leaving now?”

Minerva’s face scrunched up in part confusion and part hurt, as she looked up at his face, inches away from her own.

“Because you don’t want me.”

She was startled by the tortured groan of her husband, as he rested his forehead against her shoulder.

“Oh, Minerva! You have no inkling of my desire for you, do you?
When you came here, I was under the impression that you did not want to be with me; that you came simply to seek some assurance. It was imperative for me to stop myself before I gave in to my yearning.
Believe me when I say that it took every ounce of my patience to pull myself away from you. Had I known the real reason behind this marvellous visit, I would not have wasted another second in claiming you mine.
I suppose I was too afraid to hope for that.”

Minerva looked at him with an incredulous expression, not wanting to be led by false hopes anymore.

“But why? Why would you want someone like me? You know I have-"

She could not utter another word as Richard pulled her in for a kiss.
Minerva gasped, feeling him infuse their kiss with all that he felt for her- desire, passion, yearning…love.

She was breathing heavily by the time they separated, and shivered noticing the fervour of his gaze.

“Did you feel that? Do you still have any doubts? Minerva, I want you more than I have ever wanted any other woman in my entire life.
You do not know the extent of restraint I have to put on myself whenever I am around you. Each time I look into those eyes, I feel myself going crazy with my need for you.
I hesitated today because I did not want to scare you with the ferocity of my emotions.”

Minerva felt her heart soaring with each word he uttered. She felt like she could breath again.

He wanted her; his eyes could not lie. She had been wrong. She had never felt such relief at being wrong before.

Richard felt his shoulders sagging with relief upon seeing the tension ease from his wife’s face.
He vowed to never let that expression mar her beauty, ever again. He would make sure that she knew the extent of his love and adoration for her.

“Am I forgiven now, my love?”

Minerva smiled softly as she looked into his hopeful eyes.
There was no other answer,

“Yes.”

She did not have to say anything else.

That night, Richard made sure that all she could remember about this experience, was their love and passion for each other.

He dispelled all her insecurities, wiping away each and every bad memory she had always associated with the act.

He made love to her- something that she had given up hopes of ever experiencing.
He worshiped her curves, till he had wiped away the memory of all those other humiliating touches.

Richard gave her back her confidence and self-worth, and made her revel in the knowledge that she could have such an effect on him.

Afterwards, as he held her in her hands, she did not hesitate to speak the words he had waited with all his heart to hear.

“I love you, Richard.”
__________________________________

Author’s Note-

Hello to all my wonderful readers!

So, what did you think of the chapter?

Things have proceeded forward.
In the last chapter, many of you expressed your concerns about the characters' futures.

I want to emphasize what I had already stated at the start of this book- this is going to have a happy ending.
The only problem may be the way we might perceive our ending as "happy" (as it is quite subjective)
But I have tried to do justice to all the characters.

Also, what do you think Brandon should do?
He was not the only one in the wrong.
He is a troubled 18 year old boy, who is in dire need of guidance. He has had to bear a lot of anger and pain till now.  Do you think he should listen to Geoffrey's advise?

Doesn't everyone deserve a chance to become a better person?
Is it alright to spend your life being punished for something that you genuinely regret?
(Of course I'm not talking about any serious crimes...)

Finally, should Maya retain her anger at her own brother?
Remember that part of her anger at him, stems from her own experience of losing her child. Seeing him abandon his own child had caused that scar to resurface.

Minerva and Richard finally consummated their marriage!
(Many of you had been demanding their scene. Here it is!)

Last but not the least, we see Emma and Averey, steadily warming to each other under the given circumstances.
What is your take on their relationship?
Is it one for the long run?

⚠️⚠️⚠️
I have exams starting from next to next week. And since I do not want to keep you guys waiting for the updates, I am going to upload a new chapter EVERY SECOND DAY.

The next chapter will now be uploaded on Tuesday, followed by another on Thursday....and so on.
⚠️⚠️⚠️

We are close to the end guys. 5 more chapters left!
(Help with the typos)

P.S. I want to thank you all for your constant support 🖤. The book has reached 100k reads!

Till the next time 👋