'If, of all words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are, 'It might have been,'
More sad are these we daily see:
'It is, but hadn't ought to be!''

- Bret Harte
***

The Royal Palace;

“How is everyone?”

Brandon immediately averted his gaze from his sister’s face. How was he supposed to answer that?

When he had decided to visit Maya, he had been driven by his intense need to seek comfort in the company of his sister. He had not had enough time to contemplate the results of his action.

After the wretched revelation of a few days back, it had taken a few days just to restrain the fury that threatened to burst him at the seams.
It had not taken much contemplation to visit the Palace. It had been a spur of the moment decision.

When he had seen his sister’s face, elated with joy up on his visit, he had felt relief beyond his imagination. She appeared positively happy and contended. Her face glowed with an undefinable aura, making her look every bit the princess.

However, now, as he was faced with the inevitable question, he felt his resolve weakening.
What had he been thinking, coming here?

“Th-they are alright.”
He tried to keep the hesitation out of his voice.

Maya was quick to sense his discomfort. He had been uneasy since the moment he entered the Palace.

“Are you certain, Bran? You do not seem alright. Is something the matter? Is grandma alright?”

Maya’s worried tone caused him to wince inwardly. He should have known that he would be unable to hide his state of mind from his sister. But there was no way he could just spout out the truth.

“I am simply tired by the journey, Maya. Everyone is alright. Trust me.”

Brandon felt the guilt creeping up on him. He hadn’t even visited the Hayworth Estate for the past many days. What he was telling her, was no less than a blatant lie. He was certain that his grandmother was not alright. She had been in a miserable state the last time he had seen her.
Though he felt remorseful for abandoning her in that state, he had not had the courage to trust himself in the company of that despicable man.

Maya did not look like she believed any of his words; but she decided to let the matter pass.

“How is Emma? She has been a gem, visiting grandma in my stead. It calms my mind to know that she looks after her.”
Maya’s face lit up with a smile as she mentioned her friend.

Brandon felt a pang in his heart as he heard Emma’s name. He had not given her a single thought over the last few days; his mind had been too preoccupied to deal with the woes of his own life.
She must have been hurt by his sudden departure; more so, when they had begun enjoying each-other’s company far more than he had ever intended to.

“Oh- yes. She visits every week.”
Brandon all but stammered out his reply.
Oh, she had been visiting all right…

Maya looked at him in a funny manner, with a secretive smile on her face.
“I already know she does, Bran. I was more concerned about her well-being.”

“Of course! Yes, she is- she is well.”

She frowned at his answer, not being able to decipher the reason behind his strange behaviour.
“Why do I feel like you are hiding something from me, Bran? You know that you can tell me whatever plagues you. I am your sister. If anything is the matter, I need you to be honest with me.”

Brandon had little time to consider her question when she spoke again,
“I do not need my child to think that his uncle Brandon is not a trustworthy man.”

It took a second for him to understand the implications behind her words. When he finally did, he sat agape, gazing at her grinning face, with widened eyes.

“Maya? What are you-“

Maya’s grin widened as she heard the disbelief in her brother’s voice.

“You are soon to have a niece or a nephew, uncle Brandon.”

Brandon let out a short, elated laugh as he stood up to walk over to his sister, engulfing her in a tight embrace.

“Oh, Maya! That is wonderful news!”

She laughed merrily in his arms, pulling back just enough to let him place a sound kiss on her cheek.

“How come I haven’t heard of it from anyone?”

Brandon was certain that such an auspicious news ought to have spread in the entire Kingdom by now. It should have reached his ears long back.
The manner in which the news had enabled him to forget about almost all the worries plaguing his mind, he would certainly have appreciated it a little sooner.

“It is because we have not told anyone. Of course, the King and the Queen know. But Edward agreed to keep it quiet till I have told my family. I was meaning to send grandma a letter this week; but since you are here already, I could not bear to hide it.”

Maya’s voice was hurried and excited as she spoke, settling back in the chair. Brandon immediately rushed to her, much to her amusement.

“I am alright, Bran. You do not need to help me.”

He frowned at her words, straightening back.

“Nonsense. I would do what I see fit. It would give me something to brag about, the day my niece or nephew make an appearance.”

Maya shook her head, not bothering to hide her smile. She was glad to see the worry leave his eyes, if only for a moment.

“It is no use, Brandon. Your sister is a really headstrong woman. She refuses to listen to reason.”

Prince Edward entered the royal chambers with a soft smile on his face, his attention fully devoted to his wife.

Brandon sighed contentedly as he witnessed the pure love in his eyes. It filled him with great relief to know that his sister was cared for in her new home. She would never have to face the fate of their mother…

Maya scowled good-heartedly as she looked at the approaching figure of her husband. He must have come immediately after the end of the morning session with the ministers. He had been sticking by her side every second of the day, leaving only when absolutely necessary. If she were not so in love with him, she would have found his antics immensely annoying.

“I am not going to sit back and abandon all my responsibilities.”
Her assertive tone was met with a frown from her husband.

“You are carrying my child- the heir of this Kingdom, in your womb. Your first responsibility is assuring the safety of our child and yourself, my love.”

Maya’s face softened as she saw the concern on Edward’s face. She placed a comforting hand on his chest, looking intently in his eyes.

“You should stop worrying, Edward. The physician was simply talking about the possibilities. Do not take his words to heart, or you would end up worrying to death by the time our child is born.”

Brandon’s initial worry intensified upon hearing her words.

“What do you mean? What did the physician say?”
Brandon’s voice carried his apprehension as he saw the flash of hesitation that crossed his sister’s face.

Before she could begin placating him, Edward spoke in a rigid tone,
“The physician said that her body is of a weak disposition. The child is taking a lot of her strength and if she stresses herself unnecessarily, she may-“

His distressed words were stopped by Maya’s stressed voice,
“Do not say that! Nothing of that sort is going to happen, Edward. Do not worry him.”

But those few words were enough for Brandon to gauge the situation.
His tormented mind felt the brunt of the horrible words. Though his sister was reluctant to let him know the extent of the situation, he could not mistake the nervous apprehension on her and her husband’s face.

“Do not fret, Bran. Edward is simply being too careful. I am well.”

Maya tried to dispel her brother’s worry.
But Brandon knew this changed everything.
He could never tell her the truth when she was in such a delicate condition. He had to shoulder the guilt alone. Pulling her into his whirlwind of agony and shame was no longer a choice.
__________________________________

Bradford Estate;

Brandon stood in his mother’s chambers; sights fixed upon the walls that had been witness to her happiest years in life.

He wondered if the little girl, who grew up surrounded by the love and affection of her parents, knew the tribulations that life would eventually throw in her path.                                                  She must have been blissfully ignorant of the future.

“My Lord, Lord Averey is here.”

He turned towards the sound of Jocelyn’s voice. She stood in the doorway, eyes smiling in sympathy as she found him standing near the bed.

“Averey?”

He found it hard to grasp the reason behind his brother’s arrival. He must have been worried about his well-being. It was highly likely that he was sent by his grandmother to enquire about his health.

Brandon quickly made his way downstairs.

He found Averey standing in the hall, his face vivid with concern and trepidation.

Brandon strode towards his brother, stopping only after he had reached an armlength.

“Bran.”

Averey’s tortured gaze tugged at Brandon’s heart and he pulled him in a tight embrace.

“Averey.”

They pulled back and Brandon fixed him with a worried glance.

“Brother, I am-“

Averey interrupted Brandon’s apologetic words with a firm shake of his head.
“No, Bran. Stop. You have to come home.”

Brandon scowled at the urgency in his tone.
“But, Averey, I cannot. You must know that it is impossible for me.”

Averey shut his eyes tightly, his expression eloquent of his pain.
“No, brother! You do not understand. You need to come back. Grandma-“

Averey could not finish his sentence as his words choked.

Brandon felt the ground tilt beneath his feet and cold fear gripped his heart.

No…
__________________________________

Hayworth Estate;

Brandon’s heart clenched painfully as he held his grandmother’s hands in his.

She was too still- her face too pale.

Brandon saw Lady Margaret’s face in a new light. She had wrinkles covering her face and hands.
When had she gotten so old?
As long as he could remember, she had been the most beautiful woman he had ever seen- his first love.

Now, he could not believe that the woman lying so listlessly on the drab bedclothes, was the grandmother who taught him what happiness was. She had been his pillar of strength for his entire life.
And when she had needed him the most, he had abandoned her.

Brandon felt the moisture pooling in his eyes and was thankful to be alone with her.

The Lord and Lady of the Estate had been careful enough to not cross his way. He had been told that his father was beyond himself since his grandmother fell ill. But he would never be kind enough to offer him any sympathies, not when he was the reason behind her state.

“Bran…”

The whisper was hardly audible but he would have heard it even in the middle of a storm.

“Grandma!”

He tightened his hold as he gazed intently at her.
She had her weathered-grey stare fixed at him as she wheezed a breath.

“You really are here.”

Her eyes glistened as she smiled weakly. Brandon’s breath hitched.

“Yes, yes. I am here. I am so sorry, grandma…I will never ever leave you again.”

His fervent words seemed to have inadvertently upset her as she shook her head feebly.

“No, my child. You should not. You were right. It would have been a cruel thing for me to ask you to stay here. I have no liberty to ask that of you.”

Lady Margaret’s tears flowed down her cheeks as Brandon refuted her statements vigorously.

“You have all the liberty, grandma. Please, do not say this. We can talk all we want, after you get well.”

“No, Bran. I do not…I cannot.”

Her resigned expression filled Brandon with dread and he bent his head down to hers.

“Come with me, grandma. Leave this place.”

Lady Margaret smiled sadly as she placed a frail hand on his cheek.

“I wish I could, my sweet child; but it is too late for me now. I have made too many mistakes in my life and now I need to repent for my sins. We cannot run away from them, Bran.”

“Grandma, please…”

Brandon felt helpless as he saw the strange acceptance on her face.
He knew that nothing he said would ever change her mind. She had already retreated to unapproachable corners of her mind.

He knew she was blaming herself. He had seen it the day the horrible truth had come to light. But he had chosen to give preference to his own anger over the need to comfort her.

He sat by her side, loathing the fate for being so brutal on him, till he saw unconsciousness claiming Lady Margaret’s eyes.
__________________________________

Emma had left the children alone for the first time that day.

They were finally asleep, the stress of the day taking its toll on them. Averey had reassured her quiet fervently, forcing her out to take a breath of fresh air.

Her reluctance though, had soon turned to an unwarranted anticipation as she witnessed the hunched figure in the outer boulevard.
She had almost given up on the hope of ever seeing him again. 

Emma’s feet moved on their own accord; her heart filled with the morbid thought of this being a mere apparition. But then, she reminded herself of the affection that he carried for his grandmother, and she was sure.

He had to come back upon hearing of her condition. Lady Margaret was one of the most precious people in his life. And he would not let any grudge come in before her well-being.

“Brandon?”

Emma hated the hopefulness in her tone, even more so when she witnessed the silent sobs that were wrecking his body.
She gasped at the sight, sitting in front of him on her knees. Placing a placating hand on his elbow, she willed him to calm down.

“Brandon!”

He glanced up at her, eyes rimmed red with an incredible intensity. Emma could easily glimpse the hatred veiled behind the pain.
He looked at her, unseeing.

“Brandon, please. She is going to be fine.”

She cursed herself for sounding unsure, but that was something she could not avoid.
She knew it was useless. Lady Margaret’s eyes had lost all the will to live. She was the shell of the woman she used to be.

It had killed Emma to see her so defeated and guilt-ridden when she had visited her these few weeks. They had already been losing her steadily over the past many days.

“No, she is not.”
The conviction in his voice startled her.
“Do you know why? It is because I am cursed. I am cursed Emma. I am a weak man- unable to protect those I love. First my mother, and now grandma…”

Emma felt his pain pierce through her heart.

“No! You are not cursed, Brandon. There are still people who love you with all their hearts. You have your brothers and Maya.”

Emma knew she should have stopped at that but her need to lessen his pain was greater than any reasoning, and she continued in an emphatic voice, “You have me!”

Brandon stilled at her words; his eyes bored into hers with an ardour. The air seemed suspended in silence.

She felt it the very next moment- the softness of his lips upon hers.
Their gentle pressure sent her whirling with sensation. It was too brief. She might have feared herself to be hallucinating had she not been so sure of her surroundings.

Emma sat motionless, wide-eyed, when Brandon straightened.
He looked thoroughly confused himself, almost like it had been a spur of the moment deed- which it had probably been, in all honesty; but that thought alone was not enough to dampen Emma’s spirits.
She felt like had broken the armour of misery that he had been wielding.

But she had been wrong, as the very next moment, it had returned- with full force.

“Maya. Has the news been sent to her?”

His voice was apprehensive, reminding Emma of the great misfortune that the family was suffering.
Oh, how selfish she was to be thinking of her feelings at a time as dreary as this!

She quickly cleared her throat.
“Yes, just this morning. The messenger has probably reached there by now.”

Brandon nodded, distracted with the new knowledge. He needed to be strong. He had no other choice.
Maya would need him.
__________________________________

Maya had known the instant that she set foot in the Estate, that she would not be leaving it the same. She had fear crawling up her spine since the moment she heard the dreadful news from the messenger.

She had not wasted any time, leaving for her home that very afternoon. And though Edward had insisted on joining her, she knew he had prior arrangements.
His affection towards her did not extend to the realm of his duties. She had already learned to live with that.

It had been difficult to leave nonetheless, reassuring Edward, the King and the Queen, of her own, as well as her child’s safety.
They had sent a bevy of guards and maids with her.
Maya had cared for none; her only thoughts focussed on praying for her grandmother’s safety.

But now, as she sat at the edge of her bed, staring at the deathly-pale face of the woman, who had most effectively raised her to be the woman she was today, she felt an utter helplessness.

She was not alone. The chamber was filled with her family. Her brothers were standing at behind her, looking down at their grandmother with tear-streaked faces. Beside them, her cousins stood sombrely.

Her aunt, Eleanor was standing by the foot of the bed, sobbing softly.
Her father and Lady Scarlet stood a little detached from the others, almost near the doorway. If she hadn’t been so wallowed up in her own misery, Maya would have noticed the glacial emotions surrounding her brothers and her father.

They all stood holding their breaths, almost like they were waiting for the wretched bell to ring.

“Grandma…please, wake up. You have to get well again. You have to spoil your great-grandchild.”

Maya chuckled tearfully as she stroked Lady Margaret’s cheek.
She had been talking to her incessantly, trying to coerce a reaction out of her. It had been in vain, up until that moment, when she saw the unmistakable flutter of her eyelids.

Lady Margaret knew she had to be in heaven.

Though she knew not what she had ever done to deserve it, but there could be no other way to describe it.
All her children were there in front of her.

She saw Maya say something, but could not hear her words. She felt her hands as they raised themselves, moving to Maya’s torso.

Maya placed her own hands atop hers as they lay on her abdomen, smiling hopefully- almost pleadingly.

“Yes, grandma. I am with child. Please get well for his sake.”

Lady Margaret heard chocked sobs but she could not move her eyes away from her granddaughter.
Her precious Maya- she was to be a mother!

“Bless you, my child.”

Somewhere in her dazed state, she realised the soft whisper of her own voice.

She felt herself floating- crashing right back as she thought of what the truth would do to Maya.

It was her fault.
She had brought this upon her children. And now, her own body was failing her, not giving her the chance to live and repent for her mistakes; not giving her a chance to love her grandchildren.
Perhaps what she had done had been unredeemable…

“Grandma!”

Maya’s startled tone, brought her back to the surface. Her hands were slipping down. She felt them numbing in effect.

“No!”

Several horrified cries sounded around her.

Lady Margaret felt the invisible hands holding her.
She felt the void beckoning her. It did not take long for her to let them envelop her.

__________________________________

Author's Note-

Hello everyone!
I hope you all are in good health.
A family emergency kept me quiet busy this last week.

But now, the chapter is here.

I'm going to have to apologise for the events of this chapter. This was bound to happen.

Lady Margaret has been one of the most important characters of the story. She has a few flaws, like all humans. But she loves her family with all her heart.
She is a mother who has been let down in the worst possible manner by her son and finds it hard to live with the guilt of her being a part of Saya's misery.

But what are your thoughts on her?
What sort of character is she?

What do you think will be the effect of Lady Margaret's demise?

I hope to update soon.

Till the next time!👋