'So it's true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.'

-E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly,
***

Hayworth Estate;

No!

Scarlet’s eyes widened with terror when she realised her blunder.

No… Zachary would never forgive her for this!
What had she been thinking!

But she knew it was too late to salvage the situation.

Brandon felt a visceral rage streaming like poison through his veins.
He could not hear or see past that. It was destructive and all-consuming. And there was only one person whom he wanted to unleash it upon.

Averey saw his brother; saw the blind anger and anguish on his face.
He then looked at his grandmother. Lady Margaret seemed to have aged a decade in the last few seconds. She looked frighteningly frail.
He knew Brandon could not support her for long. He had his own anger to deal with.

Averey quickly made his way to them, shifting the stooped figure of his grandmother in his own arms.
Brandon hardly noticed this. His eyes were fixated on the floor. His knuckles were white as he tightened his hands in fists.

“Bran…”

Averey’s started to speak in a tentative whisper.
An eerie silence had surrounded them and no one seemed willing to break it.

Brandon gave no indication of hearing him. Averey gulped through the emotions clogging his throat.
It was then that he glanced at his mother’s face. Her eyes were wide and panicked; tears streaking down her face. And at that moment, Averey truly hated her.

Scarlet saw the shame and disgust in her son’s eyes and the little of what was left in her, crumbled.
She gave a broken sob, looking at him pleadingly. His only answer was to avert his gaze.

She could not bear to look at Lady Margaret, whose face had turned pasty with shock; eyes unseeing and blank as they shed a string of tears.

She had done this.
She had destroyed their family. Scarlet felt the weight of her actions in their entirety- from her ultimate betrayal to Saya, to this very moment.
The guilt overwhelmed her.
And when Brandon abruptly turned to march away from with a feverish intensity on his face, she knew things would never be the same.

They all stood still, too stunned with the revelation.

It was only after he was gone for a moment or two, that a broken sob escaped Lady Margaret.
She clutched Averey’s hand in a tight grip and looked at him with frightened eyes.

“No! Bran… ”
__________________________________

Zachary was sitting in the library, going through the reports and revenue of the month when the doors swung open with force.
The Knight in him, immediately sprung up in defence, ready to face the intruder.

But he quickly relaxed when he saw his eldest son enter, stamping his way to the middle of the room.

“Oh! It’s you.”

His relaxation was short lived however, when he noticed the condition his son was in.
His first instinct as a father was to worry.
Brandon looked positively ruffled. His red-rimmed eyes were glistening and his jaw was clenched, painfully tight.

Brandon stood staring at him with a vehement look on his face, breathing hard, like he had run a hundred miles.

“Is something the matter?”

Zachary’s frown deepened as he neared Brandon. He had decided to give him time to adjust to the proposal of marriage. Was that the reason of this?
Was he so disinclined to do that? Had he come back to inform him that his decision was the same? If that was indeed the case, then he had to take a tougher stance on this.

“You are a despicable man.”

The force of animosity in Brandon’s voice almost had Zachary staggering back in shock.

“What?”
Zachary was positive he had heard wrong.

When Brandon did not repeat anything and continued to glare at him with the same look, Zachary felt a wave of anger.
He straightened his face and tightened his expression.

“I am your father, Brandon. You will not speak to me in that tone.”

Brandon’s reply was an incredulous scoff, the sound of which resonated in the corners of the library.
There was not a trace of humour on his face, which was as dark as his tumultuous irises.

“Oh, I am well aware of that fact. And it fills me with shame. It sickens me to know that you are my father!”

The last word was spat at Zachary with venom.

“Watch your mouth, Brandon! I am losing my patience.”

Zachary felt at a total loss, not knowing the reason of his son’s strange behaviour.
None of his children had ever been so disrespectful towards him. They had been raised as proper Noble children.
Even Brandon, who had occasionally lost his temper, had known never to raise his voice in front of his father.

Thus, something had to have happened for Brandon to react in this manner. But no matter how hard he thought about it, no answer presented itself to Zachary.

“Losing your patience? Is that what happened with my mother? Did you lose your patience with her too? Is that why you did that to her?”

His questions seemed to come out of Zachary’s nightmares.
He was filled with a sense of dread and desperation so profound, that its intensity almost had him reeling.

“Wh-What do you mean?”

A chill ran through his body, as Zachary saw the disgust amplify in his son’s eyes.

No… he couldn’t possibly know about it. 

The only person who was aware of the truth besides him, was Scarlet; and she would never betray him like this.

“Brandon!”

His mother’s voice brought Zachary’s thoughts to a halt and he looked towards the doorway to find Lady Margaret, holding precariously onto Averey’s arm for support.
She did not look at him. Her stare was fixated at Brandon, who had made no sign of hearing her.

Zachary looked at Averey, whose gaze was pinned at his grandmother’s hands; his face ripe with torment.

Behind them, standing in the hallway, he saw his wife.
She looked almost afraid to enter and avoided his gaze like the plague; her throat working with the effort it took to not lose her sanity.

And it was at that moment that Zachary knew. He knew.

Fear- red-hot and searing, travelled with lightening speed through his blood.

The ground felt brittle and the air seemed like cotton.

Zachary blankly extended his hands towards his son, only to have him jerk away from his touch like it burned him.

“Bran-“

He tried to speak.
He had to speak. Something. Anything.

But he could not get even a single word out of his mouth. The shame was intense.
What could he say?

There was no way he could refute the truth.

“You repulse me. I cannot bear to breath the same air as you. It would be an insult to her. I am leaving.”

Brandon’s words caused him to stagger on his feet.
Before he could speak, his son had moved towards the door.

“No! Bran, please.”

Brandon stopped as his Lady Margaret blocked his way, clutching his forearms in a vice grasp.
He saw the helplessness on her face and shut his eyes against its intensity. When he opened them again, they held nothing but determination.

“Please, grandma… I cannot live under the same roof as him. I need to leave. Please, do not stop me.”

Lady Margaret felt herself going numb as she saw the need in his eyes.

“But- where?”
Her voice was a mere whisper- subdued and defeated.

“I-I am going to her. I need to be with her.”

Lady Margaret nodded her head in a dazed manner.
Yes, he was right.

She had lost the right to stop him, anyway.
She was the one responsible for all this. She could not ask anything from him. She would let him leave, even thought the mere thought of it caused her heart to shatter.

Brandon placed a fervent kiss on her forehead.
He did not want to leave her in such a fragile state, but he needed to get away.

He placed a hand on Averey’s shoulder, who met his gaze with apologetic eyes.

Then, without another glance at the distraught man behind him, or the guilt-ridden woman standing in the hallway, he made his way out of the Hayworth Estate...
__________________________________

Zachary gulped down the wine in his hands, hoping to dull his senses.
It was too painful to think. The faces of his mother and son kept swimming in his vision- their eyes were full of hatred and reproach.

He took another gulp.

He had tried approaching his mother after Brandon left, but she had been too rattled to even acknowledge him. He saw her glazed eyes and fear gripped his heart. She looked too weak. Averey had immediately escorted her back to her chambers and he did not have the courage to face her.

He had already lost her once. But now he feared that he had lost her forever.

“Bloody hell!”

Zachary flung the tumbler to the nearest wall.
The glass shattered, soaking up the rug in red. He stood up from the chair and paced the length of the chambers, running his hands over his face in frustration.

“Zach?”

Scarlet’s tentative voice stopped him dead in his tracks.
He faced her with a hateful look, striding over to her trembling frame and clutched her shoulders in his hands, jolting her body with force.

“You did this! You! Are you satisfied now? I destroyed your life, you destroyed mine. We are even! What next?”

Scarlet flinched as his breath hit her.
He reeked of liquor.
Trembling in his grip, she tried to put space between their bodies.

“Zach, please. I am so sorry. You have to know I would never do that intentionally. I- I don’t know what happened to me…Please.”

The words had no effect on him. Zachary did not know what to believe in anymore.

What was the use?
He had lost everything.

The thought filled him with an inexplicable ache. He needed to escape; what from- he did not know.

His conscience retreated back as he let the pain and anger take its place.
It was easier this way.

He sneered at Scarlet and bent his face, stopping only an inch away.
When he spoke next, his voice was cadaverous,

“I know, my love. We love each other, don’t we? We love each other with passion; and love is supposed to hurt.
But now that we have accomplished that, shall we both slash each-other’s throats? That would be the right course of action. We will go to hell together. You and me- together, against the entire world.”

Scarlet felt a chill run through her veins as his hands wrapped themselves around the base of her neck.
His eyes were animalistic and cold. She immediately regretted her decision of approaching him.

“Zach-"

Zachary felt a strange satisfaction as he heard the fear in her quivering voice.
The liquor coursing through his blood made was burning, but his heart seemed to be freezing.

“Shh, love. You do not fear me, do you? You know me. You knew the worst parts of me, and yet you loved me. Did you forget? You forgave me the last time. You said I did nothing wrong- that it was my right… Saya was my wife, after all. Then, why? Why did you go and say that to my son? My mother?”

Scarlet felt bile rise up in her throat.
He spoke with a small frown, his words sounding almost like an innocent inquiry. But she knew better. Oh, she knew…

“Za-Zachary, I did not mean to! Please…I love you…”

Scarlet tried to bring her desperation to the surface, clawing at his tightening grip on her neck.

Zachary chuckled darkly, before placing his face closer to hers and inhaling her scent.

“I know, my love. That is why I know that you will forgive me this time too, won’t you?”

It took a second for Scarlet to think past her fear to understand the meaning behind his words. She instantly stiffened against him as his free hand pushed her skirts up her legs.

“No!”

The horrified whisper sounded foreign to her own ears.
She immediately put all her weight in pushing against him but he was to be too strong for her.

“Oh, no. You do not do that, Scarlet. You are my wife. You do as I say. Was this not what you had told me that day? I am drunk. Try to understand. Now, be a good woman and stop struggling. I am too old for this.”

His actions became urgent and painful.

Scarlet found his mouth on the bare skin of her shoulders and panic gripped her.
Never in all the years they had been married, had he forced himself upon her.

Her nails scratched at his hands as they travelled up her bare legs. Her voice was stuck in her throat.

Zachary felt the burn of her scratches and felt her tears soaking through his tunic but did not stop.

He had to get the dress out of the way; it was too constraining.

It was at that moment that he raised his head to look at her, but stopped dead in his tracks. For, it was Saya’s face that greeted him. Her eyes were devoid of any feeling- empty and dead.

He jerked back from Scarlet, panting wildly.

Scarlet felt a flood of relief the instant Zachary’s weight shifted away from her body.
She immediately wiped at her tears and pulled down her skirt. He hadn’t been able to do any damage to the dress, yet she clutched at it like it was torn to shreds.

However, as she watched the man in front of her with alert, fearful eyes, the first thing she felt was a wave of remorse. The guilt ate away at her insides. She imagined Saya in her place- begging for him to stop.
But with her, he hadn’t stopped.

Her heart clenched as she imagined the pain and humiliation that the other woman had to go through.
And Scarlet had married the man knowing about his monstrous deed.
She had forgiven him… like she even had the right to do that!

Who was she to forgive him, all for her own selfish needs?

She had abandoned the only true friendship she had had in her entire life, for this man.
And he had just shown her what she had always know- they were fit for each other.
Oh! They definitely were.
She deserved him. She deserved this. She had known he was capable of worse but had still married him.
What had she expected?

Zachary still reeled from the force of the vision. It had been an illusion- a trick of his mind. But he knew that it had been real.
He had seen the pain in those eyes when they were alive- alive and hopeful.
They had once been hopeful for his love and affection. And he had mercilessly stomped on that hope.

Zachary dropped to his knees with a wretched sob.

“I am so- so sorry. Oh, Lord! I am so sorry. Please forgive me! Saya…”

His words were muffled as he covered his face with his palms, too shameful to face the world.

Scarlet stood apathetically as his body was wrecked with uncontrollable sobs.
He asked God for forgiveness for what he did to Saya. He apologised to Saya again-and- again.

Scarlet felt too numb to care for the fact that he seemed to have forgotten about her- about what he had almost done.

She wanted to sit beside him and join him in his chant.
But she somehow knew it would be of no use. They would never be forgiven.
__________________________________

Bradford Estate;

Brandon stood staring at his mother’s name, inscribed in the white marble of the tombstone. The wind ruffled his untied cote, the fluttering fabric sounding like waves crashing on rocks.

The meadow was bathed in milky moonlight. He had left the Hayworth Estate on horseback and by the time he had stopped, the night had already stretched its wings.

“How did you do it, mother?”

His voice was sombre as he crouched before the grave and pressed his hands softly on the marble, eyes shining with unshed tears.

“How could you ever love us?”

He had been told countless times by his grandmother, that his mother had loved him and Maya.
She had loved them with all her heart and the happiest anyone had ever seen her, was on her deathbed, as she had held him and his sister for the first time.

His grandmother had said that her face had sparkled with her unconditional love for her children; that her only regret was not being able to see them grow.

But how could she have loved them so ardently when they were nothing more than a reminder of the profound pain and humiliation that she had endured at the hands of her own husband?

How could they have not reminded her of her sufferings?

Did she never hate them, even a little?

He hated himself at the moment. Hated himself to an extent that was unbearable. Why did she have to give up her life to bring him into this world?

Why did she have to suffer like this?

“It must be so cold-”

The pain became unbearable and his voice choked with tears.
Brandon lay down next to the grave, curling his body, trying in vain to offer his love and comfort to the woman who was denied both while she was alive…
__________________________________

Hayworth Estate;

Lady Margaret ran her fingers softly over the rim of the canvas, making sure not to smudge the painting.

The chamber was filled with Saya’s paintings.
Over the years, Maya had been a regular visitor here, filling the empty canvases.

But this particular painting was special, for it had been the last thing that Saya had painted.

She smiled wistfully as she remembered the days Saya would sit in there, working her magic on the canvas.
The painting was simple- that of a dove spreading its wings.

Lady Margaret had not given much attention to the meaning behind the painting at that time.
She had just basked in the sight of her daughter-in-law, glowing with the soft smile on her face, as she caressed her belly time-and-again.

But now, as she looked at it again, she saw what she should have seen years ago- the pain and desire to be free; free of a marriage that had given her nothing but pain. She must have felt chained to it.
And Lady Margaret could never forgive herself for the part that she had played in Saya’s misery.

How had she managed to overlook the pain in her eyes?

Lord! The thought of what Saya had endured filled her with insurmountable shame and guilt.

She had been so happy with the news of her carrying a child. What must her daughter-in-law had felt when she saw the happiness on her face?

She had been blatantly ignorant of her suffering- a suffering that had been the result of her actions.

Why had she disagreed with Zachary when he had told her about his plan to annul the marriage? If only she had given in to his demands, Saya would not have been-

Lady Margaret bent against the wall, her strength leaving her body as the tears escaped.

She had destroyed her life.
She had led her son to become a monster! Even the idea of him being capable of committing such a horrendous act, sent her on the verge of hysteria.
Her son!
She could no longer bring herself to call him that anymore. The sight of his face made her sick with revulsion and disappointment.

If only she had set Saya free…

How she wished to have done that!

Never had she thought that her decisions might detrimental to the one person she had come to love so dearly.

“Oh, my dear! Forgive your mother…”

It destroyed her to realise that her love had been too selfish.
In her attempt to give Saya a family that loved her, she had deprived her of the one thing she had deserved the most- the love of a man who treated her right way.
She deprived Saya of Geoffrey’s love…

Oh, poor Geoffrey!
She could not even fathom his pain if he ever got to know the truth.
She was the reason the woman he loved was dead!

She killed Saya!

The realization brought a fresh wave of nausea and she crouched against the nearest easel, her body shuddering with each wheezy breath that she took.

She raised her tearful eyes to the painting she had been admiring and saw Saya’s angelic smile; saw the sun’s rays illuminating her glowing form as she sat before the window, her hands busy stroking her belly.

Saya looked up and smiled at her- the smile that crushed Lady Margaret’s heart; for this time, she saw in that smile, with lucid clarity, what she had been blind to for years- desperation and agony…

Her vision swam.
Saya was no more. She was dead.

“My poor child…”
__________________________________

Author's Note-

*Deep breath*

Okay. So, this was one of the most intense chapters I have ever written. It made me feel Saya's pain afresh.

The revelation in the previous chapter totally required a full chapter to focus on it.

What did you feel for the characters?
Whose pain affected you the most?

Do you think Zach and Scarlet are getting justice?

Enough for now, guys...I'm still recovering-

Till the next time 👋