*unedited*

N A N D I N I

*flashback*

The time struck 9am and Manik left. He had to freshen up, get into office clothes, and go to office also. As much as I wanted to spend time with him, I didn't want to stop him from work.

I was sitting idoly in my room, scrolling on my wattpad, reading books, when I realised it's already been a month. A month after my birthday.

I can't go to work because of this stupid fractured foot, and in some weeks, I have to leave for London for the court hearing.

Which means, I will be stuck up in London for more than a year. And that's bad because I can't keep the post of Manik's personal assistant for such a long time, I have to leave it.

With a heavy heart, I mailed my resignation letter to the office's email.

I wasn't His P.A, anymore; I wasn't their band manager anymore. And this heavy heart hurt much more then dying.

Just when I had completed my mail, the door bell rang and I asked the servant to open the door. And without any expectations, my stupid friends came barging inside.

"What's up Nandiniiii!" Mukti shouted as she pounced on my bed and sat near me. I closed my laptop and kept it away.

"Kaisi hai meri jaan?" Cabir said as he came near me, kissed my forehead and settled on the bean bag. I saw Navya rolling her eyes at him.

"Kabhi humare saath itna acha nahi ho sakte tum, bandar!", she said still rolling her eyes at him.

"Uss liye tumhe bhi toh Nandini jitna acha hona padega na!", he said and she smacked his forehead.

"Aliya-Dhruv kahan hai?" I asked.

"Pune, off to a Fab5 meeting and then some quality time.....", Cabir said and Mukti seemed confused.

"Fab5 meeting hai aur Nandini ko nahi pata? I mean she's the manager na.....", She asked.

"Yeh toh meine socha hi nahi", Cabir said, pretending to be sad.

"Tum sochte bhi ho?" Navya mocked at him and he conveniently ignored her.

"Haa guys, voh I have resigned. I resigned as Fab5's manager and Manik's personal assistant", I said, breaking the silence.

But they all looked at me with horror filled expressions, and a silence followed.

"Guys?", I called out breaking the silence.

"Aaj 1st April hai?", Cabir asked checking his phone. "Nahi!" Mukti said nodding her head in a no.

"Toh yeh mazaak kyu kar rahi hai?" He almost shouted.

"G-....", before I could say ahead, Manik cane barging inside my room. He was in his formal trousers and shirt, his phone in one hand, his tie in another. His hair was messed and he looked angry.

"Nandini!" He shouted, griffin his teeth in anger. "Oh, tum log bhi yaha ho!" He said with an amused expression.

"Why the fuck did you resign?" He yelled showing me his eyes. "I have apologised enough Nandini, yeh saza math do mujhe!" He said dropping himself on the second bean bag.

"How can you resign Nandini?" Mukti asked in disbelief.

"Offo Guys! Will you all calm down?" I said showing all of them my eyes and they rolled their eyes back at me.

"I have to leave for London in a few weeks and I'd be there for more then a year. Aise mein I cant hold such two important positions right when I'd not be there?" I asked them.

"But-.....", Mukti tried to protest but stopped when Cabir showed her his hand.  He pointed towards Manik who's anger had vanished, he was staring at the ground so blankly as if someone had died.

Cabir, Mukti and Navya slowly moved away from my room giving me and Manik the space and enclosure that was needed.

I got up from my bed and leaned where he was sitting.

"Manik?" I called out but he didn't answer. He didn't even look at me.

My hands involuntarily reached his cheeks, cupping his face as I made him look at me.

"You'd leave me too?" He asked slowly. His voice was slow, mostly like a whisper. His forehead had creases, his lips were in a frown.

"I have to go na Manik....!" I said slowly, looking into his eyes with all the love I had for him.

"But- But how will I manage without you? Mujhe tumhare bina ek bhi file nahi milti, I can't remember one important meeting, who will brief me about my projects, who will handle my anger, my employees, my staff", he said cribbing like a little baby.

"Manik, that's what a personal assistant does. Mere jaga pe koi aur aa jayega, and I'll train her until I leave...", I made him understand but he hysterically nodded negatively.

"She'll be a personal assistant Nandini, she wouldn't be you", he said looking directly into my eyes. My eyes softened and my heart felt for him. I didn't want to leave him too, but not going was clearly not an option.

"I'm your personal assistant Manik, I'm your friend. Id teach her to be this monsters friend, id teach her to be me", I said smirking, trying to lift the atmosphere which was turning gloomy.

"No one can be you because you are you!" He said again.

His talks are so confusing. For once, he hides his feelings, everything from me,  brings Soha Home and doesn't tell me anything, behaves like a monster and shouts at me. And the very next second, he's so possessive as if he owns me, he cares for me like he's my only one and he shows me so much love as if I am his only one.

"It's just a year Manik!" I said slowly.

"It's a year Nandini!." He said, his eyes widened. I sighed.

"Toh ab kya kare?" I asked him, and I pretended to be thinking.

"Don't go, please?", He asked me. I so wanted to tell him that I wouldn't go, but the work back in London was not ignorable.

I showed him my puppy face, thinking it might work.

"So, you have to go?" He asked slowly and I nodded in a small yes.

"But-......", his voice faded and he grounded as he sighed.

I got up from where I was leaning but he pulled me back and there I was, in his arms. He hugged me as if there was no tomorrow. I patted his back and he embraced me, shielding his protective arms against my back.

He hugged me tighter and I closed my eyes but the next moment, flashes of Manik hugging Soha and pulling her tighter cane into my mind.

My heart seized and my eyes opened with a flash as I pushed him away.

He looked startled and embarrassed with this sudden action of mine but I was too shocked to react.

I gave palmed myself as I pulled my knees closer to the ground but everytime I closed my eyes, I could see Manik's hand on Soha's. I could see her hugging him. I could see her pulling her closer.

The way she pressed her hand on his. The way he held her hand. The way he lied. The way he pulled her closer. It all came back. Everything.

I couldn't just let those images at out of my mind. I felt used, i felt betrayed when he wasn't even committed to me, when he hadn't even given me any fake hopes. But I couldn't just hug him, hold him, and think everything is fine when I and he both know it isn't.

"Nandini!" He called slowly keeping his hand on my shoulder and I involuntarily pushed my body behind. I didn't want to do that, but it was happening. I didn't want to push him away, distance myself from him, but I could see that happening.

I didn't even realise I was crying until I felt his arms wrapping around me and I kept my paining head on his strong chest. He held me as I hugged my knees and I cried.

Neither did he ask him why I was crying, nor did I tell him anything.

I didn't know why I was crying. Maybe because of what he did. Maybe because my heart knew that I have to leave him.

After a good five minutes, when I felt all the burden off my chest, I wiped my tears.

"I'm sorry!" I said slowly as I got away from him and he gave me a weak smile.

"Are you okay? Have I done anything wrong?" He asked me in a whisper.

'Everything', I wanted to reply.

"Nothing", I smiled.

"Are you still upset with me?" He asked with some hope.

'yes', I wanted to scream.

"No", I smiled.

"So I'll go?" He asked. "I have to go....", he whispered.

"You have to go", I repeated, but my eyes welled with tears as if he was going away forever.

"I'm just so sorry", he whispered as he hugged me again, tighter then before. He practically pulled me to him not leaving me and I just hugged his arms.

"Did you just say the word from 's' that ends with 'y'?" I teased with a smirk.

"I don't think so, do you think I did?" He giggled and we both stood up.

He handed me the tie that was in his hands and I sighed in disbelief.

He held my waist firmly as I stood on his toes. He played with my hair and nuzzled in my ears as I tied the tie around his neck.

"Thank you", he said as he kissed my crown.

"Let's go", he asked.

"Don't go", I wanted to whisper.

"Let's go", I said repeating him as we moved down.

Navya, Cabir and Mukti were already settled on the couch and Aryamman was also there. He and Cabir were bickering about something.

"Thank god Nandini, tum aa gayi! This Cabir wasn't letting me come to you onl-...", he said as he walked to me and then his eyes set on Manik and he stopped.

Manik's hand reached my waist and he pulled me closer to him while I wanted to roll my eyes at him.

Aryamman was glaring at Manik and Manik seemed unaffected.

If I didn't stop them right there, there could be a fight.

"Aryamman!" I called happily as I hugged him and I could see Manik frustrated.

"How're you baby?" He asked as his eyes softened and he smiled at me finally.

"BABY?" Manik and Cabir screamed together.

"Nandini, tune mere saath dhokha kiya?" He said wiping his fake tears. I rolled my eyes at him and he got back to eating his popcorn.

"Come, get down?" Aryamman asked as he forwarded me his hand to get down the few stairs left.

I smiled at him and took his hand, as I limped down and my hand left Manik's.

"I'd see you guys in the evening", I heard Manik gritting his teeth as he left the house.

I smirked. He shouldn't get irritated, I was just making him taste his own medicine.

Time flew as we all watched mine and Aryamman's all time favourite movie- Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani And then we had lunch where Navya couldn't stop bickering about how handsome Ranbeer Kapoor is, while Cabir kept teasing her about something or the other.

Then, we were talking about Aryamman and it was nearly evening when the door bell rang again.

"Lagta hai Manik is back!", Mukti said smiling as she ran to open the door for her brother.

And yes, there he was, looking dapper and fresh as he walked inside wearing the buttons of his coat, that famous smirk on his face.

My smile grew wider and my heart flinched looking at him.

I wouldn't disagree I had missed him like hell in these hours.

"Guys, meet her!" Manik said and we all snapped our eyes at him. A girl moved forward from behind him.

Mukti was still in shock and Cabir got up looking at her.

"Hi Soha!", I said smiling the fakest smile I could as my heart bled.

"She's the new Nandini of our lives, I mean her replacement!", he said coldly. His eyes didn't meet mine, it didn't even reach me for a second.

"She can never replace our Nandini!", Mukti screamed, shooting daggers at her.

"She's a bitch", Cabir glared. "Bitch!" Aryamman repeated.

"ENOUGH!" Manik roared and I closed my eyes.

He was so different when we were alone and so different when we were with people. Was he embarrassed of me?

I fisted my hand and looked away in disgust at his choice of words.

replacement of Nandini
new Nandini in our lives

I felt done, just so done. I felt bad, but I couldn't cry anymore. I was done with this behaviour of Manik Malhotra.

I just slowly slipped away from there while others eyes were glued at her in shock.

I sat slowly in the lawn, hugging my knees again. I didn't cry anymore, I just felt devoid of any emotions. I felt numb.

I felt two hands encircling my arms pulling me to him. Aryamman, I knew.

"It's okay, don't hurt yourself because of him", he whispered in my ears and I hugged him. He's my blessing in disguise.

"I'm okay", I reminded myself with a smile and he hugged me tighter, kissing my crown. He was such a blessing in my life.

I wish I could fall in love with Aryamman, with someone who respects me atleast.

I broke the hug and I smiled at him, while he gave me his contagious smile.

Just then, my phone beeped. It was a notification from Instagram.

@manikmalhotra started following you.

I switched my phone off in disgust and threw it away from me.

I felt done and disgusted going back and forth with him. Once, I am his everything, and the next moment, he treats me like nothing.

'I was done playing back and forth with him', I reminded myself.

And despite whatever he puts me through, I know I love him way too much to ever me done with him.

I leaned back at Aryamman as we watched the calm sunset with an uncalm mind.

Love is supposed to be a strength, but in our case, my love for him was a weakness.

And that's why I keep crawling back to him whenever he comes around, no matter how many times he pushes me away and makes me feel like shit.

And that's an unchangable fact that I can't unlove him even if I want to, even when he hurts me and makes me feel like I mean nothing to him.

I am deeply and madly in love with Manik Malhotra. And nobody has the power to change that, not even me, myself.

~this is how you make me feel. I am scared of losing you, but then again, you aren't even mine~

~•~