7. Shattered Hearts
N A N D I N I
*flashback continues*
Well, it wasn't just another day. It was two days since I was here, trapped at Malhotra Mansion. It was two days since the game. It was two days since the kiss.
But, nothing has changed between me and Manik at all. Like, nothing. We're still in that same comfortable friends zone. He goes to office in the morning comes back early in the evening. I work from home at that time. We spend some time together, have dinner, and then we have our personal date with the stars every night.
But today was different. It was late evening and Manik had not returned. I had called up in the office and the receptionist informed me that Manik had already left at 5pm while it was 8 now.
My mind was getting restless but I knew he was safe. I didn't want to call him up and act all clingy and nosey.
I sighed. I had no work to do. I had completed and checked all the files and that's exactly what I'm doing since Five hours. I amn't a person who can waste time on their phone.
Just then, there was a knock on the door. My eyes lit up.
Finally, Manik!
Why was he knocking to come inside his own room? Since when did he become all gentleman and not barge inside?
I limped to the door and opened it to be visited by a man who's face was covered with a bouquet of lillies, white lillies.
White Lillies were my mother's favourite and that's where I got the fondness for them.
I snatched the big bouquet away to be greeted by the most unexpected person- Aryamman.
"Hey, whats up?" I beamed side hugging him as I tried to hide my disappointment. I had expected Manik there, but again, Manik and gentleman-ness don't go together.
"How's my sick, pretty lady doing?" He asked me as I kept the flowers aside.
"I'm doing amazing, and these flowers are so gorgeous....", I said taking in the fragrance of them. They reminded me of my mother so much and I didn't realise as my eyes welled up.
"Hey baby, why're you crying?" He asked me slowly as he came to me and wiped the emerging tears off my eyes.
Baby? Did he just call me baby?
I pouted but I nodded negatively with a weak smile.
"Would you mind if I call you baby? I mean you're so cute that I can keep pulling your cheeks and you're so small....", he said showing a distance of three inches with his two fingers.
"I am not so small!" I said mimicking him and he laughed.
His laugh was so contagious and heavenly that my anger just flew away and I smiled at him as we both settled ourselves on the couch near the balcony.
"So, aaj aapko meri yaad kaise aayi?" I asked.
"Actually Manik got a little late at office today, so he asked Cabir to sit with you but he was also called to his RJ office with Navya so here I am....", he said with a smile.
"Manik is in office?" I asked and he nodded in positive.
But the receptionist said that he had left a few hours ago.
Why was he lying?
"So, how do you feel here? All caged!" He asked playfully and I pouted.
"I am not caged..", I relied almost immediately in defence.
"Yeah sure!" He rolled his eyes, "you're just having to sit in one mansion, in one room all the day and night with no where else to go and nothing to do and that's not being caged right?".
I said nothing I return. He was saying the truth. I don't even know what I'm doing here.
"Want to come to my house for some time? I mean I'm not sure as good a nurse as Manik, but I'm sure I can take care of you", he winked and I giggled.
"No, thank you", I said playfully laughing.
"You're totally whipped by his charm", he said with a wink.
"No, I'm not" I lie.
"Yes, you are"
"No, I'm not"
"Yes"
"No"
"No"
"Yes!" I say in haste and I bit my tongue as soon as I said that.
"Got you!" He laughed.
Just then the door of the room banged open.
"Manik?" I heard a sweet girl say as she peeped in. She wore a shirt black dress that reached her mid thighs, her brown hair left open and eyes twinkled. She was fair and sweet. Well, she was beautiful.
But I had never seen her before.
I looked at Aryamman and he looked shocked. All the colour from his face had drained completely.
"Oh sorry, I thought this was Manik's room. I'm so sorry", she said sweetly smiling at me.
"It's okay. This is Manik's room actually", I said with the same smile and she looked hurt. As if I said something wrong.
"I'm Nandini by the way!" I introduced and she smiled as she walked inside taking my hand.
"And she's Soha...", Aryamman completed the statement.
Soha Kapoor
My hand that held hers fell off and my eyes widened. Now I understand why Aryamman was standing with a pale face. My smile dropped and she was taken aback by my reaction.
Soha. Soha Kapoor.
Manik's Soha. Manik's girlfriend Soha. The one who left him.
"Nandini!" I heard Manik scream as he ran upstairs. But I was way too blank to reply.
He barged inside the room and ignoring everyone else he ran to where I was sitting. I'm so sure that he didn't even notice Soha and Aryamman's presence in the room.
He kneeled down where I was sitting. "I'm so sorry I got late. Meine uss gadhe Cabir ko bola bhi tha, I was working at office. Are you okay?" He waited for an answer.
But my mouth was slightly open, my eyes filled with tears and my face was struck to Soha who was staring at Manik with l- love.
His eyes followed my gaze and stopped at Soha too. He looked as shocked as I was.
His mouth fell open.
"Manik! Where were you? How could you just leave the hotel when I was in the washroom! I'm finding you since an hour now, I went to your office also, and I finally landed up at your house...", she complaint.
Manik got up from where he was.
He lied.
He fucking lied.
He fucking lied.
He wasn't at the office, he was at the hotel. With her.
Aryamman's hand slightly reached mine and he pressed it as if saying he was there for me but I couldn't react.
Soha flung her arms around Manik, hugging him tight.
But what shocked me, was that he didn't push her away.
He hugged her even more tightly, pulling her closer.
Not even once he looked at me.
He should be angry at her. He should push her away. He should shout at her. He should question her.
But he did none. He didn't refuse her as she held his hand and dragged him out.
While leaving, his eyes flipped at me and the darted towards Aryamman.
"What is Aryamman doing here?" He asked me, gritting his teeth.
"I'm leaving. With Aryamman", I informed, in the same anger.
"No you're not" he yelled.
"Don't shout!" I yelled back. "This is my life, I do what I like, just like you do what you like...", my voice faded as my eyes fell at his hand that held Soha's tightly.
"Who's she?" Soha asked him. She looked sweet and curious and I held no grudges against her but I hated her already.
"She's......", he stopped. My eyes and everyone's eyes darted at him to wait for his reply.
What am I to him?
A friend he kissed?
Or another girl he played around with?
"She's my....", he stopped again. Soha looked at him with raised eyebrows and that same sweet smile playing on her face that made it difficult for me to even hate her.
"....personal assistant", he completed. His eyes likely looking at mine.
Hurt flashed across my face and my heart shattered.
Even a friend, would have sounded better.
"can you take me home Aryamman?" I asked Aryamman looking at Manik.
"This is Home. Stay!" Manik's eyes pleases mine.
"I'm your personal assistant sir, this is your Home and I don't think I am needed here anymore...", I said as I walked past him.
Aryamman held my hand tightly helping me limp with every step.
"Fuck!" I heard Manik curse in frustration as I walked past him.
Neither did i see him, nor did he stop me.
Neither did I have the power to see his eyes, nor did I have the power to cry.
Neither did I mean anything to him, nor did he mean anything to me. Not anymore.
___
"are you sure you don't want me to call anybody Nandini, it's not really good for you to be alone in such a state-...", Aryamman said, concern written on his face as he dropped me back home.
"I'd be okay Aryamman, please leave, please", I begged. I might be sounding rude, but I didn't want to cry in front of him.
I was ten when I had decided that I will never show anyone my pain, my tears. The moment you show someone that you can fall weak, they take your weakness for granted. The moment you cry, your write your own destruction.
Aryamman left soon, leaving me alone in my house with my loneliness and dark thoughts.
I sat by the window watching the rain outside.
"she's my personal assistant"
A lone tear escaped my eyes and I closed it tightly. Looking at Manik being so possessive about me, that kiss, snuggling with each other at night, talking under the stars, it all felt good, it felt perfect. It felt like it was meant to be, like I and Manik are meant to be, but everything shattered.
And he didn't even seem to care. Not once he stopped me, not once he looked into my eyes.
He lied. He fucking lied.
I closed my eyes even tighter hugging my knees by my chest. All my moments with Manik flashed in front of my closed eyes, the way he holds me, the way he kissed me.
"Muskurana bhi tujhi se seekha hai
Dil lagane ka tu hi tareeka hai
Aitbaar bhi tujhi se hota hai
Aaun na hosh mein main kabhi
Bahon mein hai teri zindagi"
I opened my eyes with a jerk. I sang. I just sang.
A shiver passed through my body. Unconsciously, my favourite lyrics came out of my mouth. I had promised to never go near music again and I just sang.
The tears wouldn't stop flowing from my eyes as I stepped out into the lawn, letting the rain drench me completely.
My tears mixed with the rain drops and I felt content standing in front of the rain.
"Nandini!" I heard a voice. My eyes jerked open to see Manik standing there, in front of me, getting drenched in the rain. I gave a weak smile to him but the next moment, he disappeared.
I closed back my eyes in defeat. There he was, enjoying with his Soha, and here I was, crying for someone to whom I meant nothing.
I went inside the room and fell back on my bed. I had no power to change my wet clothes.
The tee shirt of his that I was wearing was scented of his perfume. I hugged it tighter as I cried my heart out.
The dizziness got to me because of the medicines I have been taking and I finally closed my eyes, passing out.
I had stared falling asleep. But there wasn't any peace, any contentment in it.
At mid night, I felt a hand encircling my waist and some warmth around me as my head landed on Manik's chest.
My brain wanted me to push him away. This was wrong. I was just his personal assistant.
But my heart decided against it as I snuggled into him more. A sob left my mouth in the unconscious state and he patted my back until the dream catchers of my window worked and caught me the most beautiful dreams.
I finally found my peace.
And I let me be his peace too.
~life had broken her; just as it had broken him. But when they got together, their broken pieces became whole, and they continued on their broken journey together, mended as one~
~•~
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