Copyright © 2018. All Rights Reserved

In all honesty, Nic assumed Sav would be up for a study session. So it wasn't his fault that he couldn't predict her ultimate dropout. And here Nic thought they were friends, but whatever. The people closest to him end up being the ones to betray him, that's just how the world goes. He didn't know Milo well enough to feel entirely comfortable spending a few hours in a quiet room with him. The guy was a complete mystery—! Well, except for the fact that they spent two hours a week in the same lecture hall...

So yeah, he wasn't a complete mystery, but still.

Nic: Hey, you wanna study together today at 3?

Kieran: Can't. Im at work.

Nic: Boo, you whore
Whatever it's fine.

Kieran: You're lucky I picked up on that Mean Girls reference or else you'd be dead.

Nic: So you ARE cultured

Kieran: I'm going to maim you on Saturday 7 o clock sharp
Don't be late.

Nic is typing...

Nic: Bev help Kieran's going to kill me

Bev is typing...
Bev: What'd you do this time?

Nic: ME? I didn't do anything
He's just being a meanie and threatened me

Bev: I'm sure he's just showing his affection for you
Maybe he means to smother you with his love

Nic: Ha. good one.
And by good I mean terrible

Bev: I thought it was good ;)

Nic: You wouldn't happen to want to study together?
I maaaay have accidentally agreed to study with a guy I barely know
Kinda scared. Halp.

Bev: Only you Nic... Only you...
And I dunno. When?

Nic: Like, in an hour at Mayhem
Shit *Mayhew
Eh, it works

Bev: Autocorrect knows ALL
And... I might be a bit late but sure? I guess?

Nic: YOU'RE A LIFESAVER THANK YOU

Nic fiddled with the strap of his backpack as he waited outside of Mayhew for Bev. It wasn't quite three yet, but...usually he was a punctual guy. And he didn't want Bev to stress about this. Did she know where she was going? Would she find Mayhew all right?

Of course she will—she's a sophomore, not a freshmen like you, Nic reprimanded himself as he tapped his foot on the concrete steps. He sat down, pushing his hands against his knees and wondering why the hell he felt so jittery about this. Sure, he and Bev weren't the greatest friends, but he knew her better than Milo, and... it was always easy hanging out with her at the Co-Op. Why would now be any different?

He saw her turn the corner of the building next to Mayhew, and he jumped up to meet her halfway. She waved excitedly at him, rocking a pair of black overall pants, and a red-striped shirt. "Hey Bev. I like your outfit," he said, accepting the high five she held out for him.

She grabbed onto his hand and swung it down to their sides, elbowing him in the arm. "Thanks—it's surprisingly comfortable. I thrifted this jacket, and I've even got iron-ons!" She twisted around a little to show him the back of her jacket. It was a heavy jean jacket with a plaid felt interior lining, and she flaunted it like she made it herself.

They chatted away as they climbed the steps leading up to Mayhew's front lobby. He messaged Milo, and they waited at the couches for him to swing by and pick them up. Bev delved into a story about a project she was currently working on in lab, and they occupied themselves with that until Nic recognized Milo coming around the corner of the east wing of Mayhew dorms.

"Hey Nic!" he said, all cheery and all smiles. He clapped Nic on the back as he came close, and gestured to Bev. "You must be Bev. You can call me Milo."

She laughed a little. "Um, nice to meet you..."

Nic rolled his eyes, elbowing Milo in the arm and saying, "Where are we heading?"

Milo led the way, and started casual smalltalk with Bev to get the basics down. It started along the lines of, "So have you been to Mayhew before?" and ended around, "I'm an environmental science major. I have a lab report that's due at the end of today, so I figured I'd come join you guys to work on it."

"Lab reports are the worrrst," Milo groaned as they stomped up the stairs to the second floor of the dorm wing. "I wonder if Kieran's finished his yet. We're lab partners."

Bev hummed thoughtfully, and glanced back at Nic to say, "You never mentioned that he knows Kieran."

Nic shrugged, grinning. "I dunno. I figured you knew, I guess. Does Kieran talk about his classes a lot?"

"Just to complain. I guess he doesn't have anything to complain about with Milo here," she said, jabbing her thumb in Milo's direction. The big guy laughed, and confessed that he tried not to get on peoples' bad sides whenever possible. Nic agreed—Kieran didn't seem like the type of guy he'd want to make an enemy out of. The chances that Kieran was capable of breaking Nic's nose were greater than he cared to admit. And after spending all that time drawing Kieran... Nic knew that the size of those biceps were honed at a gym.

And it wasn't like Nic hadn't thought about drawing Kieran in the nude—the guy was taking classes on nude modeling, after all. It was a rational thing to think about!

... Right?

Which obviously meant he had to consider Kieran's muscle mass, his physique, the structure of his body underneath those baggy sweatshirts, flannel cover-ups, and that arguably awesome leather jacket he wore in the cold weather. Those trips on Ellen's vespa certainly told Nic how much those baggy clothes covered up, which meant a lean, narrow waist and bony hips—but that didn't necessarily mean Kieran was all skin and bones, so...

That was all for another time.

He was thinking so deeply about it that by the time his mind came back into focus, and his hand stopped in the midst of mapping out the general shapes of Kieran's body, he realized that he was sat in the midst of an argument. Milo had brought them to an empty study room on the second floor, but now it was filled with he and Bev talking aggressively at one another—and whether or not either of them heard the other was up for debate.

By the time Nic dialed in on it, he gathered the general gist of things the moment Bev jabbed a finger at Milo and said, "Whatever. It's not like you'd understand—sometimes the offender doesn't realize what they've done until they're called out on it. It's only natural for you to act out like this anyway. I bet you never thought you've done anything wrong in that regard, and the fact that I'm calling you out on it says as much."

"I would never do that! I'm just saying not all frat guys... do that!"

"You can't even say it!"

"Because I don't agree with it and it makes me uncomfortable!"

"So you think rape shouldn't be talked about? Is that it?" Bev hissed at him. Milo bristled, his shoulders bunching up and his lips drawn tight in anger. Nic's heart rate picked up as he scrambled to stop the fighting.

"Whoa! Hey, why are we talking about this?" Nic demanded. "Not exactly a light topic to cover on a Wednesday night."

Milo remained tense, posture straight, and eyes on Bev as she huffed, still targeting Milo with her threatening eyes. Honestly, Nic would be more or less terrified to be on the receiving end of that glare. "We were just talking about where I lived, and he got all offended about the signs we have up."

"You have to admit, they're a bit vulgar," Milo said.

"Rape is vulgar! There's no way around it, so we might as well let people know it!"

"Right! But is it the efficient way of going about stopping frats from raping people? All I'm saying is that there could be other ways to get the message across. Not everything is about... big words and crude visuals!" Milo insisted, and Nic was so sure Bev was about to fling the table at him.

What completely threw Nic off kilter was the fact that Bev was capable of looking so threatening. Up until this point, she'd been a gentle, curious friend whom Nic saw infrequently when he went to the Co-Op. She was the type of girl he suspected to find reading books in a greenhouse or something—not starting fights with guys who may or may not be in a frat.

"The school refuses to do anything, and if they won't listen, then the students should," Bev said sharply, and proceeded to grab her laptop off the table and stuff it into her backpack.

"What are you doing?" Nic asked. "Bev—"

She turned on him, face red and furious. "Sorry Nic. I just don't associate myself with frat guys." At that, she shot a furious look at Milo before swinging her backpack onto her shoulders.

"It's dark out—be careful," Milo all but squeaked out as Bev stormed towards the door.

Before leaving, she turned, half-out of the door, and said, "That almost sounded sarcastic, dickhead," before slamming the door behind her.

Nic visibly flinched, a grimace coming to his face as he dared spare a glance at Milo. The guy was still sitting up straight, his adrenaline probably still through the roof from the fight. He then slouched, defeated, and massaged a hand over his forehead. "Well... I didn't expect that to happen," Milo confessed, voice tired.

"I swear she's not usually like that. I've never seen her that angry before," Nic insisted, but Milo just shook his head, waving a hand dismissively.

"No, it's fine. Sometimes—I don't know. I sometimes play devil's advocate without meaning to. I'm in a frat, but that doesn't mean I condone... partying excessively and getting girls drunk to sleep with them, you know? I'm in the fucking engineering fraternity. It doesn't exactly sound like the place to have a wild night, unless physics sounds exciting to you," he said with a hollow laugh.

"Why didn't you tell her that?" he asked.

"Because she's right. I should've known I'd get shit like that when I joined a fraternity," Milo insisted, and leant forward over the desk. "And I doubt I'll see her again, so don't worry about it too much. My fault, not yours."

Nic hardly seemed convinced. As they delved into their homework, he felt suspiciously guilty for the entire ordeal. Maybe if he hadn't been drawing Kieran, he would have been able to stop the argument from escalating to where it did. Whatever the case, Milo was right—Nic wasn't sure how to even broach the subject, let alone fix it.

Somehow, they seemed to forget about the fight with Bev, and by some miracle Nic found the two of them getting off topic and into a conversation about sports they played in high school. Apparently Milo had been in football and rugby, and was amazed by Nic's swimming history. He even went so far as to say, "Man, I've always wished I could get into swimming. I don't exactly have the body for it or anything."

Nic cracked up and slapped his hands on the table. "Oh come on, anyone can swim—ya don't have to do it competitively."

"I've always been competitive though."

"Just in general, or sports-wise?"

"In general."

Nic hummed thoughtfully, and studied the corner of his page that was riddled with mindless doodles. He flicked at the paper as he thought about swimming. God, he missed swimming. He kind of missed high school if he was being completely honest. The swim team was comprised of all of his closest friends since elementary school—how could he not miss them? They spent far too much time together in general. Hell, they even shaved all their heads together for a swim event! If that didn't say mildly-obsessive friendship, he wasn't sure what did.

But whatever the case, he didn't talk to them much anymore. They were all at different universities, preferably out of state for them. And sure, Arnette was a far distance from southern Oregon, but it was still near home. They all just... wanted out of Oregon, and that was that. No looking back.

"I miss swimming," Nic confessed quietly. "It was all all-year thing, basically. From practice to club to teaching little kids..."

"Yeah, I sorta wish there was a more organized football team that's just for the hell of it," Milo admitted, propping his chin up on his hand. "You think they have a recreational swim team?"

"Yeah, but I've already missed, like, five of their meetings," Nic confessed. "They started up two weeks into the school year."

"So what?" he said. "You should do it. If you join the swim thing, I'll do it too. It's just for fun anyways."

Nic was so excited about it that he found himself agreeing, throwing caution to the wind, forgetting about everything that happened no more than an hour ago. He realized the dilemma almost as soon as he left Mayhew late that night at one in the morning. It showed itself in the form of lingering guilt, as if expecting Bev to discard of him just because he associated with Milo.

But Milo's a good guy! he told himself, but was reminded by the fact that, Oh, right, Bev doesn't think that. It'll take more than "big words" to convince her of that.

When spent the following afternoon explaining the problematic study date to Kieran, who, subsequently, opted for that time to be their own spontaneous study date (Thanks for the warning, Kieran). And since Nic spent so much time studying the previous night, he had nothing to work on. So, he was left to rambling while Kieran absent-mindedly put together a powerpoint for a speech.

As Kieran copied and dragged images and words around, Nic sat beside him, fiddling with his multitool. He needed something to do with his hands, especially when he was this anxious and sleep-deprived.

"I don't know what to do. I feel like I should do something if I plan on staying friends with Milo. Like, I don't know if I'll see him next semester at all, so do I even bother making an effort?"

"I don't know. Do you like hanging out with him?" Kieran asked, clicking at the page, fingers flying swiftly across the keyboard. He had his head hunched forward, and with his hair in that mess of a bun, Nic could see the nodules of Kieran's spine.

Nic had shit self-control—if that wasn't obvious enough already, considering the evidence of it was littering his walls and notebooks with Kieran's face in it—so it only took a few seconds for him to reach over, finger extended. He pressed the pad of his index finger against a node of Kieran's spine, where it remained level with his sharp, tense shoulders.

Kieran's shoulders were always tense, though, so Nic certainly didn't cause Kieran to tense any more than he already was. Instead, it prompted Kieran to pause his work and slowly glance over at Nic, an eyebrow raised. When their eyes met, Nic's cheeks went pink in an instant, and he retracted his hand. "I—uh, sorry," he squeaked out, voice cracking as he tucked his hands against his chest.

"Um..." Kieran murmured, and Nic wondered how it was possible for Kieran to remain so chill all the time. Nic wasn't sure if it was physically possible for him to avoid turning red at this moment. "That was... unexpected. Way to make things weird."

"S-Sorry! I just—I couldn't help myself," he blurted out, and Kieran threw his head back laughing. Nic's face heated up even more, until his ears were red and his cheeks were pinker than before. "It isn't funny, Kiiiieran!"

"It is so funny," he all but wheezed out.

"I just—I don't know! At home my siblings and I poke at each other all the time! I thought I broke the habit," he confessed in a whine. Kieran was still smiling like an idiot—or more specifically, in a way that made Nic feel like an idiot. He had his chin propped up on his hand and everything, an expectant look in his eyes that said, "Yes, continue to make a fool of yourself."

Because Nic refused to give in, they ended up just staring at each other for a solid ten seconds before Kieran's own cheeks started to flush. He looked away and cleared his throat, pointedly turning back to his computer screen as he said, "Whatever, it's fine. I don't mind."

Nic knew he shouldn't press Kieran's buttons, but he did anyways. He reached over and pressed his thumb to Kieran's spine again, and Kieran visibly shivered and straightened up. "Nic," he complained, and Nic had the audacity to giggle. "You little shit."

"What?" Nic laughed, kneading his thumb beside Kieran's spine before asking, "Have you ever gotten a massage before?"

"Um, do I look like the type of guy who accepts massages very often?" he said sarcastically, and Nic rolled his eyes, setting his multitool aside so he could scoot up closer on his knees, and bring both hands to Kieran's shoulders. "Seems like I can't stop you."

"Dude, it's just because you have the worst posture ever. Your neck is probably screaming at you."

"If my neck could scream at me, I'm sure we would have a bigger problem to deal with," Kieran murmured, most likely grinning to himself when Nic cracked up.

Nic pressed his thumbs into the tense muscle of Kieran's trapezius, moving gradually to rub the opposite sides of Kieran's spine. After a few moments of this, Kieran went back to typing, letting his shoulders relax a little under the pressure of Nic's fingers pushing in and releasing the stress in his muscles.

They worked together like this, listening to Kieran's music play through the speakers of his laptop. Leo wasn't in the dorm since some kids down the hall—Nic was fairly positive it was Wes and a few of the other guys—practically pleaded him to help them with their homework. Nic knew it was bullshit, since they would all just badger Leo about this or that, and end up completely off topic and procrastinating endlessly. So it was just Nic and Kieran with the dorm to themselves, and normally Nic would have been worried. This wasn't like any of the times Nic and his significant other hung out at his house in southern Oregon—his siblings made it hardly romantic or intimate. It was never just Nic and a guy or a girl. It was always him and his siblings, and he figured that was why he liked having Leo around so often. The guy was a hermit, and Nic didn't mind because it meant they spent a lot of time together, just studying and listening to music—surviving college.

Usually it was Nic and Kieran with Bev or Leo. Nic realized a little too late that... maybe the reason he didn't feel awkward was because he wasn't anticipating... anything. He didn't expect Kieran to have expectations of him. Nothing had to happen, and that was definitely a weight off Nic's shoulders.

He rubbed his fingers against the back of Kieran's right shoulder in hard, pressing circles. Eventually he realized that Kieran wasn't even typing anymore, and just sat there, limp and relaxed. "So what did Bev say, exactly?" Kieran asked, tipping his head back to see Nic clearly.

Nic hesitated in his massaging before picking it back up again, switching to Kieran's other shoulder. "I dunno. I was doodling and then suddenly they were exploding at each other. She, like, accused Milo of raping people, or being okay with it because he agreed to join a fraternity when they all sort of have that stigma. But Milo would never do that! I mean, I don't know the guy super well, but... Milo would never do that. He's just a cool guy to hang out with."

"Bev can get pretty intense sometimes," Kieran said. "And she holds grudges."

"Oh great, good to know," Nic mumbled bitterly, holding a hand to the nook of Kieran's neck to hold him steady as he rubbed into his middle back. "I just have this... feeling that they'd get along great! But I think the fact that Milo's in a frat just ruined that for Bev."

"Don't take it too personally," Kieran said, folding forward and leaning over his keyboard, "and don't push it—with Milo and Bev, I mean, not my back. Shit, do you do this often?"

"You mean with every hot, single, nude model I find? Clearly," Nic said sarcastically, and Kieran pressed a hand to his mouth to keep from laughing too hard. "No, but my Ma likes getting massages. Teaching her sons and daughters how to massage makes the bill for it a lot cheaper..."

"I'd imagine so. How much does a massage even cost, usually?" Kieran asked, to which Nic muttered, "I don't even want to know."

***

"Man, Kieran was right—you are good at massaging," Sav practically moaned from the futon where they were sitting together. Nic rolled his eyes, and glanced at where Leo sat backwards at his desk, raising an eyebrow. "Don't even start with me, asshole. I've had back problems since I came out of the womb," she snapped at Leo, jabbing comically at him with her middle finger.

"I didn't even say anything," Leo insisted.

"Whatever. I'm just glad that I can now exploit Nic's weird secondary talent," she confessed.

"Glad to know that I have some use in this household," Nic muttered, grinding his thumb against the knot at the base of her neck. He knew the skin there would be red at the end of this, but at least she'd feel infinitely better following the massage.

"Can we please go eat now. I'm starving." Leo deadpanned, slumping over the back of his chair with his forearms supporting his chin.

"You are not starving," Sav remarked.

"How can she still be this harsh when she's getting a back massage?" Leo demanded of Nic, who shrugged and insisted that he wasn't getting into this with them.

Either way, Sav was prepared to fight Leo on this whether he liked it or not. "A bad personality doesn't always come from constant back pain, you dingus," she snapped. "And yes, I did just insult myself, but it was for the greater good."

"And what greater good is that?"

"Showing up pricks like you who think they know everything," she said, and pointedly turned away before brushing Nic's hands off her back. "I think I'm good now. Let's go eat—I'm starving." At this, she swung off the couch and glared at Leo, who looked completely and utterly baffled.

Sav marched straight to the door and strode through, hardly waiting for Nic to catch up. He scrambled off the couch and nearly tripped on the way to his desk to pick up his student ID card. "Why's she so pissed at me?" Leo asked as Nic was in the middle of stuffing his feet into shoes and shrugging on a sweatshirt.

"Hell if I know. Ask her yourself."

"Yeah, maybe I would—if she wasn't about to bite my head off," he remarked, scowling at Nic.

Nic shrugged uselessly, saying, "Not my problem. I'll meet you down there, yeah?"

Leo muttered a disgruntled, "Sure, sounds good," before Nic took off through the door and ran to catch up with Sav. She was already at the stairwell, clamoring down the steps with a sense of urgency about her march. Eventually, Nic caught up to tug her by the back of her flannel coverup and say, "Hey, hang on—why are you being so pissy with Leo?"

"I'm not," she countered, folding her arms pointedly as they meandered down the empty corridor to the dining hall. She scuffed her feet across the stripes on the carpet, and said, "I just—sometimes I bad vibes from people, and, well... he was being snippy with me first."

"You were both being... snippy," Nic said, cringing at the word. Who used that these days? He shook his head a little, sighing, "Whatever. I just wanna know why everyone's being pissy lately. I feel like the only person who hasn't been pissy is Kieran. And that's just because he doesn't seem to care enough about shit to get mad at it! Which... I guess... that's a simple way to go about life..."

He pinched his lip, brows tensed in thought. Sav shrugged, saying, "I just get this weird feeling that Leo doesn't like me. You get that sometimes, right? Like... you can't explain it, but there's something about the way a person looks at you that just rubs you the wrong way."

"C'mon, if Leo didn't like you, he wouldn't have given you that heating pad."

"We don't talk about that day," she snapped, sticking her nose up and adding, "It didn't happen as far as any of us are concerned."

"Right, because you're a robotic, demonic beast who doesn't experience normal, human, bodily functions," Nic laughed, nudging her in the arm. They walked through the doors of the dining hall, swiping their cards at the entrance. "Obviously he cares about you. You don't exactly have to care about him back, but... it'd make his job easier."

"Being friends with his residents isn't a part of his job description," she countered, and rushed ahead to stock up on pasta and spaghetti sauce. She grabbed several breadsticks and stuck one in her mouth before they even finished getting the food they wanted. As she munched on it, she talked between mouthfuls, saying, "And being overly invested in his floor's menstrual cycle is definitely not something he signed up for and doesn't need to get involved in."

"He just wants to help you guys out," Nic muttered. "I mean, it's shitty that you have to even have... you know."

"No, I don't know."

"Sav, don't make me say it."

"What, are you too chicken to say it? Code Red? Is Mother Nature visiting? Watch out! it's Leak Week!" she all but yelled in the middle of the fucking dining hall. Nic's face went red, and he cringed as some guys from their hall passed by, snickering to themselves. "I could really go for a Bloody Mary—"

Sav's voice shrieked to a halt when Nic slapped his hand over her mouth, pleading desperately for her to just stop talking about It. When they finally, silently, agreed to stop with it, Nic let go of her mouth with a sigh. "Oh, come on, you have a sister!"

"Yeah, but she doesn't talk about it a whole lot," Nic muttered, still pink at the ears as they joined the guys at the table. They claimed the end where they could sit across from one another, as per their usual affair. "And my younger brother Julian's a teenager, which means he gets even more grossed out by it whenever Rosa talks about it. You should see his face whenever Mama brings it up."

"Honestly, no offense, but I'm so glad I don't live in your household," Sav confessed with a laugh. "It sounds like a real carnival every day."

"Is not!" Nic whined, but found himself giggling over it anyways.

Everything felt back to normal... up until the point Leo showed up. He took his usual spot between Nic and Wes—the fella who wore one-too-many Hawaiian shirts over white t-shirts—, and as every greeted him cheerfully, Sav just seemed to study him, as if wondering, "What kind of game are you playing...?"

He wasn't sure if anyone else felt the tension of Sav completely brushing off the fact that Leo even sat there. It was starting to feel like Nic swallowed a scorching rock—the burning sensation pressing into the front of his ribcage seemed to say as much. Or maybe that was just the heartburn from the dining hall's horrible food choices, but whatever the case, he wondered how full-grown adults like Sav and Leo, Bev and Milo, were capable of acting like a bunch of gossiping teenagers.