The air bit her, whipped against her face like it was trying to stop her, to keep her from what she knew she had to do. From what she wanted to do. There was no way she would stop now, not after what that woman had done. Shadows danced around her vision like the world was closing in on her, but she didn't pay any mind to them. They weren't real. Was any of this real?

Kaia ran, her feet pounding like steady drumbeats against the earth beneath her, the others at her side. They were here because she'd ordered them to be, but Kaia knew that they secretly relished it. It was an honor for them to run with her, to serve her.

Then Kaia skidded to a stop, raising her nose to the sky. The world smelled of citrus all of a sudden. She was close now. Soon, she'd taste that sweet, warm blood on her tongue, feel flesh between her teeth; she'd sampled it time and time again, and she would relish it once more tonight. That woman deserved what she was going to get.

Something caught in Kaia, a voice in her head. Something's wrong, it shouted, this isn't right!

And when Kaia bolted upright, she knew that the voice had spoken the truth. Kaia pressed her hands to her mouth as bile rose. The memory of how she'd felt in her dream, how angry, how hungry was all too real, and it was entirely wrong. It hadn't been Kaia. It couldn't have been; she liked to think that she wasn't capable of such hatred. It couldn't have been her own. Kaia would never hurt another person. She doubted she could even if she'd wanted to.

She kept telling herself this over and over again, staring out the window from where she sat upright in bed. It was barely dawn, a sleepy haze still coating the world outside. The snow seemed to fall in slow motion. Kaia gasped for air in short bursts, her lungs panting one moment and not moving the next. There was still an echo of hate in her somewhere, the aftereffects of such intense emotion. It was vile. She felt as though someone had injected oil into her veins and she'd swallowed fire.

It was all she could do not to let the oil light because once it did, there was no way she could stop the fire from spreading.

"Kaia!" She tried to blink but felt like she was in a trance. She just stared out the window, wishing and wishing that the fury in her would subside, the bloodlust. It wasn't hers. It was alien. But it swallowed her up and held her prisoner like a puddle of mud did a boot. "Oh my god, are you ok?"

It sounded like she heard his voice through a wall. Who was it? He seemed worried. "Kaia, I swear to god if you don't blink in the next minute I'm going to slap you." She heard his voice this time as if it were an echo in a pitch black cave, bouncing off of jagged rocks that tore the sounds apart before they reached her ears.

All she could do was watch the snow fall, observe how quiet and peaceful it seemed compared to the typhoon that raged underneath her skin.

A door slammed open somewhere, and another voice entered Kaia's consciousness. This one was clear, though; it was hot chocolate between her hands at The Neighborhood on a cold day, just what she needed. A perfect peace welled up inside her, combating the filthy residue from her dream. "What are you doing here?" it asked.

"I don't know. I heard..." this was the first voice, answering. It was spooked, rushed and hoarse. "Kaia's not moving."

"What?" Kaia sensed fear in the air like a net had fallen from above and trapped them all. There was a pain in his response that stabbed into her like spurs on a horse's flank. Kaia tried to stir, but her body wouldn't move. All she could do was stare. And cry. Hot tears slid down her face in twin rivulets.

But then warm hands held her face, slowly bringing her back to herself. She didn't break free until soft lips were on her cheek, brushing her tears away into memory; Kaia thought back to the forest when she'd met Kaleb, how his rough tongue had swept away her tears then, too. And then she tumbled from that place she'd been suspended in, clumsily falling back to her wolf's arms with shakes and shivers.

"Kaia," he said. His hands were still on her cheeks when her vision focused on his face, on the worry line between his eyebrows and the terrified look in his golden eyes. Those beautiful eyes, the ones that practically glowed in the dark. They were all sunshine and carved glass.

"It wasn't mine," Kaia choked out, grabbing Kaleb's wrists and clinging to them so she wouldn't slip away again.

Kaleb looked confused before he broke eye contact with her. Kaia followed his gaze until her eyes found Lionel, standing aghast across the room. He looked like a guilty criminal in a prison lineup, trying to look unconcerned and aloof and failing, a terrified expression evident underneath his false calm.

"Lion, get out of here," Kaleb said, his tone indicating that it was an order. Lionel was uneasy at first, glancing at Kaia and then back to Kaleb. But he decided it was better to leave Kaia to the guy who, Lionel had observed, quite literally pined for her. So he shut the door, the disappearance of his worried eyes making this moment in Kaia's substitute room so much more intimate.

"It wasn't yours. What do you mean?" Kaleb asked, turning back to Kaia. He leaned over her, standing beside her bed. His hands brushed her hair from her face where it had clung to the damp paths her tears had taken.

Kaia swallowed, her mouth dry as she remembered the nightmare. She closed her hands tighter around Kaleb's wrists to steady her arms, and it mostly worked. And he let her hold on to him, thank god; she didn't know what this Lunar Ceremony was but gathered that it meant intimacy was off limits until it came. 

Kaia was extraordinarily aware of how he watched her, striving to determine what she needed from him. It was like a serpent of worry was winding around Kaleb's entire body and squeezing, squeezing the life out of his eyes. Kaia sharply inhaled when she realized that such agony was because of her, and that serpent turned around to feed on her guilt.

She shook her head, mustering a smile, "I'm alright, Kaleb. Don't worry."

"Impossible," he said immediately, meeting her eyes and willing her to believe him. And she did. She accepted the truth: he cared enough about her that worry was inevitable. The moment's importance was like a crack of thunder in the distance. It was there, but Kaia wouldn't realize its relevance until the storm hit.

They had become immersed in something that they'd never be able to dig themselves out of, an emotional quicksand. It was more than just pleasure and belonging that it brought. It was a magnificent life, but it was eroding around the edges with fear. And the holes the fear gouged were all too inviting to secrets. And secrets bit. 

"I just had a dream," Kaia said. Kaleb stared at her, waiting for her to explain herself. She sighed, "I was going to kill someone. A woman. Only I don't think it was me. It was-"

"Someone else," Kaleb finished. His eyes looked stormy like he had just gotten bad news and was trying to figure out how to break it to her.

Or not break it, because he didn't say anything after that. And this wasn't the usual silence that Kaleb occasionally found himself trapped in around Kaia. She could tell that this was something more profound, more meaningful. Deliberate. "Do you know something?" she asked, desperate.

But Kaleb just shook his head, "For now, you should sleep."

He moved to leave, But Kaia wasn't about to let him. She held tightly to his wrists and pulled him down next to her. He lost his balance and collapsed into the bed, careful not to land on her. She edged over, pulling him into bed with her. At first, he looked at her like she was insane, her head had grown three sizes, and she'd sprouted devil horns.

But there was an intense longing in his eyes. It was only a matter of time before he gave in, leaning against the bed frame and looking down at Kaia. Even if they both sat perfectly upright, his eye level was still inches above hers. He slowly let himself relax, his shoulder barely touching hers. There was a sense of togetherness as if pulling Kaleb onto the bed had united them against whatever dark beasts were gathering strength in the shadows.

Because, after feeling that hate, Kaia doubted that the lycanthrope world was just pride and belonging as it had first appeared. Kaia thought back to the forest again. Beasts have blood, too. And where there's blood, there's darkness.

"Will you tell me?" Kaia asked. She had a feeling, judging by Kaleb's unwillingness to make eye contact with her, that whatever it was he was hiding from her--and there was something--it was important.

He slowly turned his head so that he could look down at her. There was an ache in his eyes. Her heart mimicked it. "Not yet," he said, "You're not my Luna yet."

Thoughts caught in her throat, jumbling together, letters snagging on each other until they were such a tangled mess that she couldn't pick a word out of the confusion. The way he'd said those words made her heart dance. 

Not my Luna. Not yet. It was the 'my' and the 'yet' that truly captured her attention, the desire that he showed her when he spoke. Kaia melted into a smile and nodded. She leaned her head against Kaleb's shoulder, feeling his breath stir her eyelashes. Peace washed over her. He would tell her everything about his secrets and the mysterious world all around her. In time. 

...Right?

☾

It was a new thing to wake up in someone's arms, in Kaleb's. There was a delicacy to the moment that was so perfect. It would shatter with the tiniest, sudden movement. And then the spell would be broken and the slow, steady breathing, that rhythm that seemed to slow down the world around them, would be lost until he slipped into sleep again.

That was all it would take to wake him, wasn't it? A touch of his chest. Kaia smiled. Or a kiss would do it.

She almost leaned forward and did it. The temptation was there, surging when her gaze landed on Kaleb's slightly parted lips; they were so flawless, it looked like someone had spent hours painting them on. He probably wouldn't realize what was happening, stuck in a sleep fog, until it was too late. She wondered how he'd react to it or if he'd even know. Maybe she could steal this from him, and it would be a precious little secret that she kept alive in a jar like a beautiful firefly in the spring.

Kaia sighed a tired sigh. The Lunar Ceremony. She couldn't do it if she wanted to be Luna, which she did. She wanted Kaleb to respect her, and to gain his respect she had a feeling that she'd need to earn his Pack's first. That's who he was. She had only known him a short time, but she could tell that he was his Pack.

"That's a deep sigh for first thing in the morning." Kaleb's voice was a quiet grumble, slightly off with the morningness of their situation. Kaia was suddenly ever so grateful that she hadn't tried to sneak that little touch of their lips. He was awake, and he probably wouldn't have been too happy.

Kaleb hadn't had time to put on his gruff Alpha hat; when Kaia couldn't keep her hands from his unruly black hair, he let her touch him. Kaia could have sworn that she saw his face redden slightly even if he didn't open his eyes, and it made a shot of delight zap through her at record speed.

She focused on how soft his hair was even if it was tangled. Anything to get her mind off of the freshest bout of want.

"I've got a lot on my mind," she replied. Like you.

He nodded, his eyes still closed. "Speaking of," he said, opening his eyes and lazily looking down at Kaia where her head rested on his shoulder, "We should go."

Kaia frowned, raising her head and resting a hand on his chest. It felt so effortless that she didn't think about it. Being mated to Kaleb felt like instant familiarity. "Go?"

Kaleb nodded, "Your dad."

It didn't take much more for Kaia to jump from bed. There were surprisingly few preparations to be done before the Alpha left the Prowler Mansion. Kaleb had a hushed conversation on the way out with Lionel as Kaia watched, unsuccessfully straining to hear their words. Neither of their expressions gave anything away, either. Maybe it was about what had happened in the wee hours of this morning; Kaia hoped not. It was embarrassing enough as it was. 

And then they were off, Kaleb issuing a few orders before they stepped outside. Kaia was wearing a distinctly female sweatshirt over Kaleb's clothes, protecting her against the frigid air. Kaleb had protested the arrangement when Rosy had appeared with the hoodie in her hands, insisting that Kaia wear one of his. Kaia had sort of wished that she could indulge herself because the possessive look in Kaleb's eyes and the tightening of his muscles when she'd requested new clothes from Rosy was kind of thrilling. She almost wanted to listen to him.

But Kaia had imagined her dad's reaction to her showing up days after she'd mysteriously disappeared with an attractive young specimen--her dad didn't have to know about the whole different species part--wearing her specimen's clothes. She could practically picture her dad's face turning red and his eyes bugging out as he tried to comprehend how it had all happened, how he had let it happen.

Because, if her dad had any say in the matter, something like that would never have happened. She'd be safe in her room like a stupid princess in an oppressive tower. Her world would still be small, and the thought of going back to her cage now that her life had gotten so much more meaningful was painful.

But it wasn't like she could abandon her dad. He'd assume a kidnapping...or worse. But Kaia didn't want to think about that, about how close she'd been to dying when Kaleb had saved her. Both times. So she raised a different subject with Kaleb once they were safe in the car and on their way to her house. "How do they feel about me?" Kaia asked.

Kaleb looked surprised like he hadn't expected her to speak. If he'd thought that this ride was going to be him sitting behind the wheel in silence and her merely going along with it, he was dead wrong. "The Pack?" he questioned. 

"Who else?" Kaia asked, staring at the dash.

Kaleb sighed, "There's still unrest, I think."

"Despite everything you said?" Kaia questioned. She wasn't sure if she should be surprised or not. She didn't understand how this whole thing operated yet. But weren't the others supposed to obey Kaleb, their Alpha? Kaia thought back to the dark and twisted look on Grayson's face when he'd been told off by Kaleb. He hadn't looked like he was ready to back down yet. Kaia fought back a shiver. 

"Despite everything I said, there are still some members who don't trust you yet," Kaleb said. Kaia could tell he was angry just thinking about it, so she intended on letting them sink back into silence. It was better than making Kaleb mad. But it was Kaleb who didn't let that happen this time. "Most of them see it the way I do," he explained, "There's just a few who... Don't worry, Kaia."

"Impossible." Kaia worried about what they thought because, honestly, she just wanted them to like her. And this time they did sink into a peaceful quiet. Kaleb knew now how much she truly wanted to fit in with him, to be his other half in this. Maybe even to help lead the Pack, if Kaia dared think it.

"I sent out the word to the other major Packs in the area that you're to be my Luna. Some of their Alphas will probably attend our Lunar Ceremony," Kaleb explained, taking his eyes off of the road for half a second, "But it still isn't completely safe, so you'll have to be with security if you want to leave the Mansion."

Kaia hadn't thought about living in the Mansion, but she was surprisingly ok with the idea. She'd miss her family, but they could visit, right? "Like protecting the first lady," Kaia said. 

"Just like that," Kaleb said, "Except really different." 

"Yeah, just throw in some lycanthrope and weird magical smells," Kaia joked. Kaleb laughed, and Kaia wanted to celebrate. His laugh was beautiful. She knew it was rare, and she cherished it. 

By the time they pulled into Kaia's driveway, their hands had somehow found each other. And Kaia felt that same alliance between them, something more than just the intrigue or the--Kaia felt adult enough to use the word all of a sudden like she'd left her childhood in a corner somewhere and forgotten about it--lust that she felt near Kaleb. They were in it together, whatever it was.

But somewhere hidden in the annals of her memory, Kaia hadn't forgotten Kaleb's hesitance to tell her what had found its way into his head that morning in her room. Kaleb had realized something, pieced together something dreadful. 

And she wondered if where togetherness went, secrets followed in its shadow. 

Thanks for reading, (as always). Hope you liked it. Don't forget to vote and comment for me! :)