Chapter Thirty-Three: Sex, Part II

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Ophelia:

We're gonna do it.

We're doing it.

Sex.

Isn't that just crazy?

All I know is that right now, my entire body is on fire and my brain has turned to mush and my skin is hot as flames and Luke Luke Luke Luke Luke...

We're making out on his bed, me on top of him. His big, strong hands skate down my back, grasp my waist, slip beneath my skirt to hold onto my bum. My fingers are threaded in his hair as we kiss each other. It's a mix of fast and slow, rough and soft, sloppy and gentle.

Our lips twine together, and our tongues slide against each other. He nips at my lips with his teeth, sucks on the tip of my tongue. Every little twisting movement of our mouths sends a hot ache to my core. Combined with his taste, and his smell, and his rough, low masculine sounds, and his hands gliding over me, it's enough to catapult me high as the stars.

I think we both realize that we don't have to rush. I mean, I'm excited but I'm also really nervous. But this, what we're doing now, is something that we're both really good at, and it feels so good, so. We do it for a little while.

My hips start flexing and rolling against his as we kiss each other. I could come from this too, I think. The hard, throbbing bulge of his erection strains against the fabric of his jeans and presses right between my thighs. I rock my lower half, grinding for friction to alleviate the tension coiling at the centre of me, and it makes him groan.

Oh, poor Luke. I already came once and he didn't come at all. Should I... help him come, before? Will he be hard again soon enough for us to have sex or should we just... um, save his boner for the real thing?

Wait, maybe he should come before so he doesn't get too excited? I don't know. I wish this entire process came with an instruction manual, honestly. Ugh.

He gently begins to peel my dress up off me and discards it somewhere to the side. I slip my hands beneath his plain black T-shirt, feeling how hot his skin is, the firm, taut muscle of his lean stomach. When we're both topless, I sit up for a sec and he holds me by the hips and just looks at me, his pupils so wide that the black completely drowns away the brown as his gaze floats over my chest, over my stomach, down between my legs.

I bite my lip, flushing at the way he's staring at me. I bought new underwear for the occasion. It's really pretty and quite skimpy and revealing. Soft pink, almost nude, and sheer. His thumbs extend towards my belly button, gently caress distracted circles against the sensitive skin of my tummy. He swallows and his Adam's apple ripples in his throat. After a few silent moments he mumbles, "Feelz. I swear you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life."

My heart swells and constricts. He sounds so sincere and affected and when he says stuff like that to me, it seems like the truth and I feel like the luckiest girl in the entire world.

I lean back down to kiss him again, loving the way the skin of our bare stomachs sticks together. The tips of my breasts are so hard and needy and I can't wait until he touches them and kisses them and sucks them. Really, I just want him to kiss me everywhere. I wanna kiss him everywhere, over every golden inch of his tall, handsome, perfect body. Because he's mine forever and ever and I just... love him so much. Too much to contain sometimes.

Gently, I begin to work on the buckle of his belt, to slip it from the loops and then undo the button and zipper of his jeans. Together we slide them down his legs and then I settle back on top of him, feel his hardness so, so big and thick between my legs. Really hard. He's probably really uncomfortable at this point, I realize.

I rest my hands on his chest and he brings a large hand up to sweep back some of my hair. "Luke," I whisper. "Are you... do you want..."

He flashes me a soft, crooked, reassuring smile. "We can go as slow as you want, Feelz. No rush."

I like the idea of taking it slow. There's still so much we can do together before we actually, you know, have sex. I just... love all the cuddling and kissing and rubbing that we get to do before, you know?

I start by pressing a tender kiss to the uneven, dime-sized birthmark on his right shoulder. His body has these small imperfections scattered around that just make him so... Luke. Features of his body that only he and I know about. Next I trail my mouth down to the little freckle that sits on the bottom right of the dark, flat skin of his left nipple. Then, the small beauty-mark just below his belly-button, slightly off to the right. He lets out a low humming sound as I press kisses over his body. I love that sound. It's so dark and masculine and settles right in the pit of my stomach.

I trace my lips over the pale pink scar that stretches down his right arm, just below his elbow. It's maybe three inches long and a centimeter across. I think he got it when he was like eight or nine. He and Darcy were doing some stupid thing on their bikes where they rode right into each other just for the fun of it. They both got banged up pretty bad.

He has another birth mark on the inside of his right leg, near his knee. I float my lips gently there, and then his arms come down around me and he guides me onto my back, kisses me fervently on the mouth before nuzzling my neck. Mm, his stubble always feels so amazing when it scrapes against my skin. He sucks just above my collarbone hard enough to leave a bruise, tearing a sigh from my mouth in the process.

I arch up a little and he reaches around me, helps me remove my bra so that we're both just left in our underwear. Then he begins tracing my body with his mouth, too. He kisses my birth marks and beauty spots and freckles and scars and when he grazes them so lovingly with his lips and teeth and tongue I don't feel so self-conscious about them.

This is just... the perfect kind of love we have, I think. We can be comfortable with each other and when I'm with him and he's loving me I just feel so... free and happy and he makes the insecurities go away because... I can feel the way he loves me, you know? I can just feel it and it's so warm and fuzzy and...

"I love you so much, Luke," I whimper. I feel so many intense feelings and sensations right now that I don't even know what to do with myself. "So much I can't even tell you."

"Oh, Feelz. I love you too. So, so much." He kisses the underside of my jaw, sears a burning, wet path down until he touches his lips oh so softly to the very tip of one of my hard nipples, then the other. It's just the faintest, teasing touch and it sends a jolt of heat and moisture flooding to the bottom of my gut.

My hands fist themselves in his hair as he lavishes my breasts with kisses. Sucks on them, bites them, squeezes them with his hands, swipes across my nipples with his rough thumbs, rubs the tips of them in maddening circles. I think in the morning they'll be completely covered in hickeys but it just feels so good that I don't even care.

By the time he and and I are done exploring, my body feels engulfed in flames. The space between my legs feels so hot and wet and I just ache.

For more. For the next step, I think.

"Luke," I murmur, running my hand over the smooth planes of his shoulders. "I... I want to. I want you, Luke."

He groans, sounding relieved. "I want you too, Feelz. So bad." He slides off me and I watch him as he reaches over to his bedside table, opens the drawer and rifles through.

Oh yeah. Condoms.

I'm curious about them. About him putting them on and stuff.

He also pulls out a white bottle that I realize is lube, sets it on the table. He grabs the foil packet and comes back to sit beside me. "Uh," he explains, a little flushed. "I bought some... lube. Just in case. If you think it'll be more comfortable for you that way."

I'm actually really glad that he thought of that, even if before I know I thought I wouldn't need it. It's good to know we have it just in case, I guess. "That sounds like a good idea." Although, as I press my thighs together, I can already tell that, well. I'm really, really wet right now. Like, dripping wet.

I sit with my knees tucked up against my chest, biting my lip as I watch him. He sits near me, a leg stretched out in front of him and says, "I'm just gonna... you know. Put the condom on?"

"Okay." Technically, I know we actually don't need condoms. We've never had sex with anyone else, so obviously neither of us has any diseases or anything like that. And, I have my birth control implant that's supposed to be pretty much a hundred percent effective. So the only reason we're using one is because our parents both said it's really important. Maybe they know something we don't. Whatever.

I watch, fascinated, as he slips off his black boxer-briefs, releasing himself. Oh my gosh, he's so big. Every time I see him it's like I get a little surprised all over again.

He's gonna fit, right? He has to fit. The internet said that there's usually always a way to make it fit.

He tears open the foil package and pulls out the circular ring of latex, leaves the wrapper on the side-table. He seems to know what he's doing, as he opens it out and tugs it on. It's interesting as it stretches and unrolls and then hugs him really tight. It's just a plain clear colour.

"Can I... feel it?" I ask, curious.

He chuckles, shrugs, leans back against his hands beside me. "Sure?"

I skim my fingers over his sheathed length, feeling the rubbery, almost slippery material of the condom. It's also not perfectly smooth. Has some texture to it. I read about that, online, how they can be ribbed or dotted or whatever. Supposed to feel better that way.

Oh my God.

We're gonna have sex.

Like, right now.

He must see the look on my face because his expression goes all soft. He reaches a hand out to brush away some of my hair and asks, "You good?"

I nod. "Yeah. Just... kinda nervous and excited."

I wrap my arms around myself and fall onto my back. Luke props himself up on his side beside me, skims a hand over my ribs, leans down to kiss me softly on the mouth. His gentle, tender kiss quickly deepens. My body is submerged in fire and tingles and prickles and shivers and so many other anticipatory, needy sensations.

His palm is smooth but rough as it scrapes across my belly, his fingers finding the edge of my panties. He breaks away from my mouth to ask, "Can I?"

I nod, my heart racing as he begins to tug off my underwear. The last scrap of fabric separating our naked bodies. Down my thighs, off the tips of my toes, away.

When we're both completely bare, he hovers above me, kisses me some more, slower, softer. I can feel his erection pressing hot and thick between us. The heavy, suggestive feeling of it sends more tendrils of heat rushing between my legs. The centre of me clenches, suddenly feels so empty.

"Feelz," he says against my cheek. "We can... take it really slow?" His voice sounds so hoarse and ragged and I know that at this point he must be practically dying for release, but he's still gonna take it slow because I know he wants to make it comfortable for me.

I nod. "Slow sounds good."

Our chests are stuck together, rising and falling with rapid, uneven breaths. All that's left is for us to guide him between my legs, and then, he'll push himself into me and... oh my gosh.

I wiggle my hips a little, instinctively, uncomfortably. He trails his fingers down over my hip, over my thigh, his breaths falling hot and heavy on my face as he reaches between my thighs to feel me. As soon as his fingers touch me there, a low groan spills from his lips and mixes with my soft, breathy moan.

"You're so wet, Fee." He strokes me slowly down there and almost reflexively, I part my thighs a bit more, tilting my hips towards his fingers. I can even smell myself, musky and earthy and soft. "Do you... want me to grab the lube? Up to you."

"Uh... I think I'll be fine without it," I decide breathlessly. Oh, my voice is so raspy now. My entire system is so tightly wound with the need and excitement I'm feeling that it's practically hard to breathe.

"Tell me... how you're feeling, okay?" He nudges my nose tenderly with his, resting his forehead against mine. "If you want me to do something different, or... anything?" Each word is so thick and heavy and weighed down with his obvious desire.

He's been hard like this for so long now. I feel kinda bad. I nod. "Okay."

He looks into my eyes, I look into his. So dark and so bright. As I feel our breathing mix together, the heat of our bodies mix together, our hearts racing against each other, beating beneath ribs and muscle and burning flesh, I know that I couldn't ask for anything to be different right now.

I tentatively slip my hand between us, curl my fingers around his shaft. Oh my gosh, he's huge. He lets out a soft moan, tensing beneath my touch. We're both holding our breaths, looking down between us, foreheads connected, as I guide him lower, open my legs a bit, watch as the most intimate parts of him and me start to line up. Oh my god oh my god oh my god...

We shift around, he helps me so that his length can fit between my thighs, where it slides a slick, heavy path through my folds. The feeling is so foreign and intense and crazy that a whimper falls from my lips. He looks so big down there, between my legs. Tentatively, we rub ourselves together a bit more, my hands clutching onto his shoulders. I'm sure my nails are digging into his skin so hard it could be painful.

There's so much heat and tension settling in my gut. I can feel the way he's sliding against the slickness at the apex of my thighs. Just as I'm sure I'm ready for him to take the next step, I sense his muscles go all tense, hear the tortured, strangled groan that leaves him.

"Fuck," he rasps, his voice laden with frustration and defeat.

Oh... Oh. Oh. I feel it happen, feel the pressure of his release.

He stills. Squeezes his eyes shut, face flushing red, looking so embarrassed and ashamed as he slips out from between my legs and then rolls off me.

"I'm sorry, Ophelia," he grumbles quietly. He sits at the edge of the bed and quickly peels off the soiled condom, ties it into a knot and tosses it into the wastebasket. "Fuck, I can't believe that just happened." He runs an anxious hand through his hair and my heart actually breaks because of how mortified he looks right now.

"Oh, Luke," I whisper softly, gently. I scurry over to him, wrap my arms around him as he lays onto his back, his cheeks hot with shame. He looks like he could cry and I hate seeing him so dejected. "It's okay. I promise it's okay." I hug him really tight and bury my head in the crook of his neck, stroking my hands tenderly through his hair. "Don't worry about it," I whisper. "It's normal. I read that that happens to lots of guys. Please don't be sad."

I press my body really close to his and pepper his face with lots of kisses, all over his eyes and nose and cheeks and forehead and chin. His hand comes to skim up and down my back and he finally cracks a smile, pecks the tip of my nose. "We can try again in a few minutes," I promise, resting my head in his shoulder.

"I love you, Feelz." He squeezes me tight and I cuddle up real close to him, touching him all over.

"I love you too, Luke. Always and forever."

And of course, as we kiss and touch and hug some more, it doesn't take very long at all for him to get hard again.

I can't imagine what it would be like going through the awkwardness of your first time with someone who you didn't love. It's all just so vulnerable and intimate and emotional and intense and I'm so glad we get to do it all together.

I guess now it's time to try again.

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A/N:

I'm laughing at you. Sorry not sorry, losers.

Oops, that was rude. 'Til the next time, folks.

XOXO Ami

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