Khud ba khud chorh gaye hain tou chalo theek howa,
Itne ahbab humse kahan sambhale jaate,

Hum bhe Galib ki tarah kocha e janaan se Mohsin,
Na nikalte tou kise roz nikaley jaate!

Jahan

We were sitting around the island.

I was across from Saboohi and Alamdar as they say closer together. My wife was sniffing softly and Alamdar would momentarily reach his hand and cover hers with his. In a gesture to comfort her.

" It's okay birdie."

The man's words broke the silence and he casted his dark eyes to me. I averted my eyes to Saboohi, seeing her lips tucked together as she wiped her tears.

" Rubi wants to meet Saboohi, you guys should return soon."

He said and I nodded silently seeing him turn to his cousin. His hand covering hers again.

" Saboohi, she really wants to meet you. Aunty needs you. I wish you were there to see-"

" We would return as soon as possible."

I cut in. Seeing his eyes snap to me.

" I called Saboohi a lot before leaving for Swat. If I knew you guys wouldn't be able to reach, I would have taken Saboohi myself. Why didn't you pick up?"

I saw as Saboohi looked to me before lying straight through her teeth. Making me frown.

" My phone had some problem. So I had switched it off."

She didn't need to lie, nor did she need to defend me but she did it anyways. Her soft warm eyes returning to the table.

" Well! I was so worried for you guys that I straight came up here after returning."

The man said chugging water down and I offered him a polite smile.

" That's very generous of you Alamdar."

He shrugged before reaching for his black coat.

" I must leave now. I need to get to the farm house."

We nodded as he stood up. I followed the man to the door as he smiled at Saboohi, pinching her cheeks.

" Hey, how about we go for some ice cream tomorrow. Yeah?"

" Okay."

Saboohi said in a small voice. Slowly nodding her head. My heart churned at how her mood had changed into simple sadness. She waved at her cousin from besides me. We walked in back seeing Alamdar's car hit the road. The woman walked towards the kitchen, heating up dinner and I noticed how tensed her shoulders were.

I sat down to eat, filling my plate with rice seeing the woman sit with only a glass before her. Making me ask.

" Will you not eat?"

She slowly shook her head. Taking the glass, she sipped.

" I don't feel like eating." She offered a small smile.

" Are you upset?"

She looked up and pulled a large breath in as she rubbed her arms from over the fabric of her kameez.

" I am feeling guilty for not being their with Moma. But I still don't want to go back."

I couldn't find any coherent thing to say in return. And so to lighten the mood I asked.

" Do you need Jahan's infamous hug?"

She quirked her eyebrows before brushing me off with a soft laugh.

" Noo. I told you before I am not playing friends with benefits with you."

I chuckled.

" It's only a hug."

She shook her head.

After dinner, I walked upstairs to pray as she cleaned the kitchen and then came up. By the time, I hit the pillows she was under the covers. Staring at the plain ceiling. I scrolled through my phone for sometime before I turned to face her.

" Saboohi. I might have to go to work tomorrow. Would you be fine?"

She sighed and turned her face to me.

" I will be very perfect. You can go to work Jahan."

" Are you sure?"

" Yes. I am."

She emphasized. Her eyes closing. I turned on my back and stared at the ceiling.

" Good night."

" Good night Jahan."

Her voice echoed.

•

Saboohi

The man wore his coat as I placed his tea cup on the dressing table. Moving away to make the bed. Jahan flickered his eyes to me and smiled and I found myself getting lost in his smile. Hundreds of other thoughts running wild through my mind as I stared into space. A soft nudge made me avert my eyes to the man again.

" You seem lost? What happened?"

He asked, his eyes holding genuine concern. I shook my head and smiled softly.

" Nothing."

" Wow. I like this shirt."

He said pointing to the sparkles I had on my night dress's shirt. I laughed and shook my head. His warm hand clasping around mine as I moved past him. His eyes holding confusion as to why I was laughing. I stepped closer to him. And cupped his cheek in my palm.

" Jahan. I am fine now. You can stop pretending."

I tilted my head slightly to the side seeing the man tense as he averted his eyes.

" Um-no-"

" It's okay. I liked it anyways. But you can stop now."

I said and moved away from him. Not before offering a wide smile to him. He flushed as he wore his socks and moved around the room. And I couldn't stop the smile that smeared on my lips thinking how he had cared for the past few days. But his struggle wasn't unnoticed. His hand would tremble whenever he would hold mine. His breaths would halt and his heart would beat just a little louder not because of our close proximity but because how he would step over his loyalty and hold me.

I couldn't even imagine what he would go through before even holding my finger. He didn't need to do all this so that I could feel safe and not harm myself. His efforts had moved my heart. I was in awe how he coped up and held himself together.

" Was I that bad?"

He asked and I looked up seeing him stand before me. I smiled and shook my head.

" I don't want you showing me affection because of fear that I'll end my life. Show me affection so that I live more to see it."

I reached for his tie and tightened it properly. His amber brown eyes looked at mine for a little longer. And I felt myself flushing under his intense gaze.

" I would keep that in mind."

He whispered before he reached up and pecked my forehead making me hit his arm playfully. Walking to the dressing table, I stood before the mirror and unbraided my hair. My eyes flickering to his reflection. As I shifted on my feet.

" Um Alamdar wanted me to help him pick a few things for his new apartment. I was thinking-"

" Saboohi-"

The man started with a warning. My name rolling off in thick and angry tone. And I tensed giving him the most softest look.

" I will call after every five minutes if you say but please-"

" I wouldn't want that Saboohi. But-"

I gave him the puppy face and he groaned. Shaking his head.

" Fine."

" Thank you."

I chanted over and over as he left the room shaking his head. I felt breathless now after calming down with my excitement. Brushing my hair, I looked at my reflection. Seeing the woman stare back at me almost unfamiliar. Her eyes were as ever large but they had sunken in her skin. Her eyes held stories of unrevealed. Butterscotch eyes ran to her to cheeks that weren't so round now. Instead that had lost the fat and were on verge of dissolving to prominent her cheek bones. Her lips were chapped and were pursed.

I turned around and brushed my hair not able to look at her anymore. Swiftly moving to the bathroom with my clothes, I swept them with my nightwear. Applying makeup and lacing up my shoes at the same time.

" Waiting."

Alamdar's message read as I rubbed some lotion onto my cold hands before rushing down. Jahan was at the island eating his breakfast.

" I am leaving. Alamdar's here."

I announced tying my hair in a low bun. Amber brown eyes flickered to me as the kept drank me in without words. Making me shift on my feet under his gaze. His eyes reached mine as he said.

" Saboohi-"

" Hm."

I rose my eyebrows eager to hear what he had to say but he just stared with his mouth opening and closing. I walked closer to him and sat infront of him.

" Yes Jahan."

I said softly seeing him exchange gazes between the plate and me. He wiped his hands with the napkin and looked up.

" I- the omelette was great."

My heart flipped and I pushed myself up from the stool. My breaths turning shaky all of a sudden.

" Thank you Jahan." I turned my back and walked to the door. Opening the front door I saw Alamdar's awaiting car. I glanced back at Jahan seeing him run a hand past his jaw before he offered a small smile. A smile that didn't reach his eyes and I smiled back. A smile that probably didn't reach my eyes.

As I walked down the patio, rubbing my cold hands together.  I wished in ghe moment for him to just acted for a little while longer. To just pretend for a little while.

" Hey birdie."

Alamdar flashed me his signature grin and I greeted back before buckling up my seat belt. We hit the road and a comfortable silence fell over us.

" So what do you want help with?"

I asked turning to face the man. He chuckled.

" I- um need help with pretty much everything. But how much we start with the kitchen thingy."

I smiled before shutting up again. Soon we were nearing the market area where I had never been before. I smiled before getting down the car seeing all kinds of kitchen stuff hanging out of the various shops. My shoes padded over the rough road as Alamdar and I walked up to the pavement. The man's arm snaking around my waist and I flinched at the contact. My eyes snapping to his. He smiled boyishly before peering at me from over his sun glasses.

" Relax. Let's go to that shop."

I remained tense as we walked to the shop. Soon we were picking out all the essential stuff to set up a new cozy place. Hours passed and I lost track of time as I looked through some rugs. Remembering the turkish carpets we had back at the cabin. My hand tracing various patterns and material. We went over for the furniture as well but I was too famished that we had to return without looking at anything.

" We can go back to the cafe we first went to."

Alamdar said as he reserved the car and I nodded. My stomach churning with dancing dinosaurs. My phone vibrated and I unlocked it in hopes that Jahan would've messaged but it was the network service message. I was disappointed though.

We pulled in front of the cafe and I dragged myself out of the car.

" Look at you. Hungry birdie."

Alamdar's hand came to hold mine and I frowned as we sat down at the table in the corner. He mumbled something before walking away. When he walked back he had our lunch with him. Giving me my burger and fries he settled down, flashing me a grin. I dipped my straw in my milk shake and looked at him. Seeing him already looking at me.

" Alamdar. You don't have to play this anymore. Jahan's isn't here that you have to make him jealous."

I stated, pointing my eyes to his hand over mine. He stared at me before grasping my fingers. I expected him to chuckle sheepishly and utter a sorry but he did not instead he leaned forwards. His voice filling my ears.

" Saboohi. My intentions were never to make Jahan jealous. Instead I wanted some more time with you."

A lump formed in my throat as my eyebrows knitted together. My mouth suddenly drying.

" Wh-what do you mean Alamdar?"

His dark eyes softened as he smiled.

" I've missed you. We were the best of friends Saboohi. And you got married and away from me. I miss you. Very much that words cannot describe how much I feel for you. I want more time with you."

" Alamdar. I am on my honeymoon-"

" No Saboohi you're not."

His voice rose and I gulped not understanding where this conversation was going.

" You've been here for a month now. Honeymoon period is over you're living in that cabin. So there's no honeymoon."

" Alamdar. I don't understand what-"

" Shsh. Just listen to me first." He said, his eyes pleading and I gave a short nod. The food long forgotten.

" Saboohi, I like spending my time with you. I love knowing that I make you laugh. I know you're not happy in your marriage with Jahan. I know he doesn't makes you happy but Saboohi give me that chance when I can. You do know that I won't hurt you. You trust me, right?"

He asked and I stared at him. My mind processing what he had said. He did make me happy. He did make me laugh more Jahan had and I did trust him but-

" You do trust me?"

He asked again and I slowly nodded.

" Spend some more time with me then. Give me a chance to prove myself to you. Maybe you'd find happiness where you've never looked at."

He squeezed my hand and I looked at our hands and then at him.

His arms were utterly warm and filled with some emotion I couldn't decipher and what he had said had left me in confusion. I had known Alamdar, he never wanted anything from me. He was always making attempts to make me laugh, to keep me happy. He was my shoulder to lean on and cry. I enjoyed his presence. Whilst Jahan was on the other end still trying to accept my presence in his life. He just had to look after me like a child. He was just looking after me to save my life. But I did like him. He was always a savior. But Alamdar-

Could it be that I was searching my happiness with the wrong person all along. Was it possible that Alamdar loved me?

I looked up at the man's expectant eyes before nodding.

" Okay."

He threw me a grin before digging in his food again. But I had no appetite, my heart was thudding. My hands were trembling under the table. And restlessness was starting to settle in the pit of my stomach.

Soon we were done with lunch and grabbed some coffee before leaving. Alamdar was all smiles and talkative on the way to the furniture store back. And I found myself getting comfortable with his choices as he moved around the shops. Blabbering about what he wanted and what not.

•

Jahan

I saw as the once blue pink cloudy sky turned into dark patchy blue and then saw it turn into dark. Spreading against the horizons. The vast sky decorating with it.

Looking away from the window, I let my eyes flicker to the wall clock seeing it past eight thirty. Saboohi had made dinner and so I heated it up. Set the table and ate quietly in the silent house.

She wasn't back and I knew she wouldn't be returning early. Alamdar had taken her and it meant she wouldn't be returning soon. It was waste of time to wait for her at dinner. A bitter taste washed down my throat as I kept my plate in the sink. My stomach churning in a bad way. I thought back to the day when I had asked Alamdar to keep visiting us, curse that day.

Saboohi's smiling face came flashing to my mind as I flunged myself on the couch, replaying what she had said this morning. It was true but it was impossible not to care for her. No matter how nervous I got each time but I savoured the time I got with her. Spending time with her taught me to be grateful for the life I had. And it pushed me to live on. It couldn't be that long years of loneliness were changing my habits.

The house felt silent without her, it were like no one had walked in here for months.

I sighed and turned on my stomach, seeing the painting hung on the wall of the monster she drew. It was impossible not to find her cute. I shook my head and ran my hand through my hair. My eyes catching the bracelet she gave me. I traced it. If I would have walked in here a few months ago, I'd see Ronaq everywhere. But now all I saw were remnants of Saboohi. She was just scattered everywhere. No matter how much I tried to dissolve the though, it just wouldn't.

I couldn't erase the fact that she was becoming a part of my life; a bigger one I might add. A knock on the front door sounded and I turned my eyes to see the clock seeing it strike past nine. I smiled to myself, finally that she was home. I stood up as the door was knocked again.

" Coming." I called before opening the door.

The person standing very unexpected.

" Um Saboohi slept at my place so I came to tell you-"

" What?"

I frowned my palms turning into balls. My eyebrows drawing closer. Alamdar had the audacity to chuckle as he looked at me. Before waving off his hand.

" I am just joking."

" -But she's asleep." 

He said rounding his car. And I watched in blankness as he opened his car door and hauled my wife out in his arms. My nerves froze as he walked inside the house and bile rose in my stomach. Seeing her sleeping form carried in his arm. Her head falling over his shoulder.

I took a step forward. Extending my arms towards the couch.

" Leave her here. I'll wake her up for dinner."

The man took a step back and smirked.

" She already had dinner. It's better you not wake up her, she had a headache. Now bedroom-"

My jaw ticked and I pointed towards the stairs. Seeing the man nod and make his way up the stairs. He returned back a moment later, whistling a tone. His hand patted my shoulder as we shook hands.

" She tried to call you but signal error. Good night man. I'll see you tomorrow."

He gave a broader smirk before walking to the door and closing it behind him. Anger ran in my veins as I stood fuming. Saboohi's sleeping figure in his arms not getting removed from my vision. Alamdar's words ringing in my ears like hot molten lava.

I'll see you tomorrow.

" Fuck you."

•

Wohooo!!

I hope you're enjoying the book now. Things are sizzling up!! 🔥🔥

And to all those who liked Alamdar's character, I was like oh man he'll be breaking hearts!!

There's more for you in the next chapter!!

Drop in your votes and comments!! I'll be waiting!! 😚😉

Till then<

Love,
_Hafsa♥