Jen

My heart thrills with joy watching Rick giggle with kids, he is not the typical Rick around the kids. Seeing him play, talk, and laugh with them warms my soul, thawing the icy walls I've built around my heart. I'm immensely grateful to him for introducing me to these little angels; in their innocence, I find a sense of peace that allows me to breathe freely and gather the strength to move forward. I clutch my stomach, though a pang of sorrow still lingers for what I've lost, I've long buried my grief, creating a phantom of the past to punish my own soul. But now, something feels different.

That day, Rick proposed something I had never dared to dream of, and without hesitation, I found myself saying yes. And now, as tears threaten to spill from my eyes and my heart swells with overwhelming emotion, we stand here together. We've organized a small carnival for the orphaned children, a tribute to the memory of our unborn child. It was Rick's idea, funded by his generosity, yet I find solace in contributing what I can, decorating with vibrant colors and arranging modest amusements for the children. Though time and resources were limited, I poured my heart into every detail, and I'm content with the result.

In the quiet moments amidst the festivities, I find myself yearning to express the love and regret that weighs heavy on my heart standing near Rose Garden, now the final resting place of my precious unborn child, I feel a sense of peace wash over me. We've placed a small stone here in his memory—a fitting tribute to his brief existence. What better place could there be for him than here, surrounded by the loving protection of my mother's spirit? In my mind, he'll always be cradled in her gentle embrace, safe and serene.

"Mom," I whisper softly, addressing the memory of her presence, "please watch over him. Let him feel your love and warmth, just as I have always felt it. Tell him that despite my shortcomings, I loved him deeply and I am so sorry for not being able to save him. I wish I could have been a better mother, like you. I know you'll understand, Mom, and I trust that you'll help him understand too—that I wasn't myself when I had him."

Unstoppable tears cascade down my face, defying all attempts to wipe them away. I despise myself for not giving him a proper farewell earlier. How could I have abandoned my own flesh and blood? The weight of that decision still haunts me, lingering like a shadow over my soul.

"Are you hurt?" a little chubby kid asked me with a sad face. I shook my head slowly, wiping my tears off.

"Have my chocolate, you will feel better" he offered, his kindness melting my heart.

"Thank you" I murmured, bending my knees to his level and enveloping him in a tight embrace.

"Now I am feeling better" I whispered, my heart fluttering with adoration as the little angel kissed me on the cheek and wandered off to play happily with the other kids.

My heart races as I sense his nearness behind me, time seems to stand still as I dare not turn to face him. It's not that I can't bear the sympathy in his remorseful eyes, but rather, I'm hesitant to expose my vulnerability, especially to him.

After a moment of silence, he takes it upon himself to break the quiet. "Are you okay?" he asks, his words tentative yet impactful. I simply nod, still unable to find my voice.

"It's beautiful," he continues, his gaze sweeping over the carnival we've created. "You've truly outdone yourself. The children are enjoying it, and I'm so proud of you." His words bring a small smile to my lips, and I finally summon the courage to turn and face him. His eyes are tender, filled with a mixture of emotions.

"No, this is beautiful," I counter, my own emotions swirling as I glance at the stone that now holds a piece of our hearts. Engraved with the words ' Too precious for the world, Loved by Mum and Dad always,'

"Thank you, Rick, I am .." I begin, but he interrupts with sadness in his eyes.

"It's time to say goodbye to him, but we'll always cherish his memory," he says, his voice thick with emotion.

"I only knew the resentment, now I am seeing the flip side, it's drawing to hold things and letting go surely brings peace."

"Not always," he adds, his expression pensive before offering a brief smile. It's clear he has something on his mind, but before I can inquire, a group of children approaches, inviting us to join in the festivities of the carnival.

Rick takes my hand, urging me to join them, and I allow myself to be swept up in the joy of the moment. We play and laugh with the children until our cheeks ache, reminiscing about the day we first met.

Rick won teddies with his master skill of aiming the ring. This is how we met for the first time, yes I would cherish those small love moments that fate granted to us. At that moment, I realized with certainty that Rick loved me for real. Not fairy tale love, still fortunate enough to experience the love, hard and heartbreaking, yet a true love.

Can I let go of this love? My eyes were transfixed on Rick. His laughter is like music to my ears, his tenderness and intensity laid bare before me. He loves me with everything he has, both the light and the dark.

But our time together is running short. Once Daniel and Scarlet arrive, our story will come to an end, starting anew in a way. Scarlet... What will she feel when she sees us together? Will she still harbor resentment toward us for our father's death? I am sure, this place wouldn't spare her the heartbreaks, the haunted memories. It would be difficult for her too, has she moved on with her feelings for Rick, what if she still loves Rick and wants him for herself? Not it shouldn't be the case, all I know she hates both of us. The darkness threatens to consume me as I struggle to breathe, searching desperately for Rick's comforting presence.

My breathing heaved as I remembered the fall and the painful scream of dad, all I saw was the blood, I started shivering and holding my chest to ease the breath but it was difficult. My eyes are struggling to keep open, however my soul left my body. Before I can collapse, strong arms wrap around me, pulling me close. It's not Rick, but the sound of his voice soothes me, offering a sense of comfort as unconsciousness claims me.

"I've got you, Jen," he says, and as my body relaxes into his arms, I find solace in his embrace, my worries fading into oblivion.

Rick

I quicken my footsteps as I spot Jen struggling to maintain her balance. Before I can reach her, I see Daniel swoop in, always her knight in shining armor. He cradles her gently, his touch filled with tenderness and love. And I can't help but feel a surge of resentment coursing through me. I lunge toward him, driven by a sudden madness, but Scarlet stops me.

"Hello, you" Always has been strong-headed, she dared me to move one inch, threatening with her eyes to choose my move. Stupid, if she thinks, she can intimidate me.

"Stay away," I growl through clenched teeth, issuing a warning.

"Yes, stay away" she echoes my words with equal fervor. She's always been the alpha female, unyielding in her resolve. We lock gazes, anger and hatred simmering beneath the surface.

"What's wrong with her? Why is she even here?" I turn to Daniel, who is still holding my Jen in his arms...

"Take her to home, I need to take these kids back to their place" I instruct Daniel, the words heavy with reluctance. Leaving Jen in his care pains me deeply, but I have no other option. Daniel doesn't need further explanation; he immediately motions for Scarlet to join him. I observe the subtle change in her expression as she lays eyes on Jen. Whether she still harbors resentment toward her sister remains a mystery to me, but she manages to control her emotions and follows Daniel. With a heavy heart, I watch them leave, leaving me alone to struggle with my inner turmoil.

Once I arrived home, I found the three of them sitting in silence on the sofas. Ignoring the tension in the air, I lit a cigarette and entered the room, steeling myself for the next phase. To my utter surprise, I was met with a powerful punch to the face. Fuck, I staggered backward a few steps.

"How dare you?" Daniel, shit.. I could get ready myself, I was attacked with another punch.

"Daniel" Jen's voice interjected from the background. This isn't the right time. My emotions were already at a boiling point, and I feared that if Daniel continued, it would only escalate the situation further.

Another punch, and I'll cut your hands off," I warned him in a single breath, my voice dripping with raw anger and menace.

"Daniel, calm down," Scarlet intervenes, her voice steady as she stands protectively beside him.

"No, let this end. Do it, you damn man. Let's see, take me on," Daniel's words pierce the tense air, his anger boiling over as he challenges me. I've never seen him lose his composure like this before, his fury reaching its peak as he stands tall and defiant before me.

With blood staining my lips, I spit out forcefully, I meet his gaze head-on, matching his intensity as I march towards him, our eyes locked at the same level.

"Rick," her gentle touch sends a wave of fire through my entire being, causing me to swallow hard. She stares at me with pleading eyes, her touch igniting havoc within me.

"Stop this madness, can we talk?" she implores, turning her gaze to Daniel, whose eyes bore into the hand she has placed on my chest. His agitation is palpable.

"No, there's nothing to talk about. He's done it again, forced you here once more. I won't let this go," Daniel's voice trembles with anger as he speaks, his fury threatening to shoot over.

"Yeah, let him fight me" I urged Daniel, pushing him slightly in encouragement, but Jen's confused eyes fixated on me.

"No fight," she scolded me, pushing me behind her as she faced Daniel. I could see the hurt on Daniel's face as he assessed her reasoning. Meanwhile, Scarlet stood close to Daniel, her emotions evident as she observed the scene unfold.

"Daniel, he didn't force me, I came with him" A total lie, I blackmailed her to come with me. Scarlet knows that too.

Daniel was stunned by her answer, taking a few steps back with a mixture of anger and disbelief in his eyes. If he dared to approach Jen with that anger, he wouldn't receive the forgiveness he had been granted so far.

"Really, you came out of your will. Tell me what's the drill, you want to rekindle your relationship, which was a sham," Daniel's words cut through the tension, causing sorrow and hurt to flicker across Jen's face. I clenched my fists tightly, resisting the urge to knock him out.

"Don't talk to her like that!" I yelled, startling both Jen and Scarlet.

"I can talk however I want," Daniel retorted, refusing to back down. He was making this situation ugly, friend or not, he had no right to hurt Jen, I couldn't stand by and watch him hurt Jen like this.

I landed a fierce punch on his face before he could comprehend what was happening, causing him to feel the sting on his cheek.

I punched him fiercely in the face, and I heard a sharp intake of breath from Jen. Before I could process what had happened, I felt a stinging sensation on my cheek.

"Don't you dare to touch him again," Scarlet's threatening voice rang out as she shoved me away and intervened to stop Daniel from retaliating.

"And you stop with your comments. Can't we just calm down and talk?" Scarlet's scowl deepened as she folded her arms across her chest, her gaze fixed on Daniel.

"I am calm, yes, I'm fucking calm," Daniel spat out before storming off to his room, shooting one last angry glare at Jen, who still seemed shell-shocked by the events that had unfolded.

Scarlet turned to Jen, nodding her head in reassurance. "We all need time and rest to process this. Go sleep it off tonight," she suggested before following Daniel.

"I.." Jen looks at me with a questioning expression.

"You shouldn't have done that" she muttered with disappointment, clearly not in the mood to listen to me. With that, she left me alone in the hall. So, the four of us were back to where we were a few years ago, in the same place, with the same intense tension, but now more vulnerable than ever...

Hello lovelies!

I know it's a very long time since you heard from me... I want to share a page of my life that is important and very brutal. I couldn't find the energy to write anymore. It felt like all my inspiration had vanished after I lost my mom. I've been keeping busy with work, trying to distract myself from the pain. Today I just took a day off and ended up writing a bit. I don't know if I'll finish this book or if I'll ever get back to my old self, but I wanted to share this chapter with you.

So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being with me on this journey. I may not have all the answers, I am here to thank you.

Love, love and loads of love to you!