Author's Point of View

She is trapped in a great guilt that was not even her fault. She blamed herself for thinking ill of her kid and not choosing him. Rick silently mourned for his baby boy, his and Jen's baby boy, only if he would have done right from the beginning, he could have a family. A real family for which Rick and Jen have been longing for a lifetime.

Rick wraps his arms around Jen securely, he wants her to vent out all her pain. If he would have some power, he would have traded himself in her place to take all her pain in, to release her from the guilt, and to give her a wave of peace. All he can do it right now is be with her to ease her pain.

"I am sorry," she broke into her sobs.

"You have nothing to feel sorry about"

"Didn't you hear me, what I did?" Jen tilts her head looking at Rick in disbelief.

"It was an accident, not your fault" Rick cupped her face and said softly, holding his tears but they betrayed him, hot tears covering his cheeks.

"I curse it" she paused, looking remorseful, "I wished for it" covering her face with her hands, she finished her sentence.

"But eventually you took the right decision, you decided to save him," Rick said unmasking her face. Her tormented eyes looked at him with skepticism.

"You hate me for it, aren't you?" the question broke Rick's heart, he could never hate Jen, even if she would have killed the baby, he would never blame her for it. His love for Jen is way too much over anything. He would happily die if that could help Jen.

"No, I .." Jen cut him in middle.

"That's what you said, the whole purpose of coming here is your revenge. And I so deserve it" Jen held this guilt for so long, she never forgave herself for the death of her son. It changed her, she buried her emotions and heart with that baby. Jen assumed living without love is her absolution.

"You deserve only love, not less than that" Holding Jen's face, Rick said it with intensity. Their eyes interlocked for a while before Jen decided to look away.

"I am not strong Rick, stop manipulating me." Rick couldn't believe where this conversation is heading, on the contrary, Jen is waiting for his next word to humiliate her.

"I..." A bitter smile curled on Jen's lips and Rick was lost for words.

"You Mr. Rick Adam, it's just another game for you. These sweet talks are only to put my guard down and once I do that, the next moment you will do would throw insults at me. Pointing at me how cruel mother I have been and how Milano's should not allow any mercy, they are supposed to rot in hell for their every sin." Jen's fiery eyes filled with hatred recalling every moment where Rick proved that Milano's are heartless and they deserved only hatred nothing else.

"You are right, I hated Milanos with all my heart. I grew up with anger, bitterness, resentment, insecurity, and pride, Jen. What did you expect from the little teenage boy who witnessed the fall of his family most crudely" Rick's heart hammered as he choked out words? Jen's eyes soften.

"I am not blaming you, Rick, just wanted to say that I am one of the Milano. And it seems we have it in our blood to ruin every little thing around us. It came from my father, I happened to destroy everything I touched" Her words turn angry and her tears continue to roll. Rick tried to hold her in his arms but she shoved him away.

"I was wrong to blame you for your father's deeds, it was never your fault. I was blinded by the hatred and revenge and I couldn't see it, I shouldn't have involved you in my Revenge" First time, they both were talking instead of fighting over their past. It pained Rick to remember how it all started, it killed him to watch Jen in such a terrible state. His heart went out to her and he blames himself for destroying the innocent girl into a broken one.

"I have two murders on my head, Rick, so stop pretending that I am an innocent one" Rick couldn't believe her words, two murderers.

"Two murders of my own blood, can't you see blood in my hands" Suddenly Jen started wiping her hands, and she saw blood everywhere, Jen's panic escalate and she started hyperventilating. The world around her grew fuzzy, she wanted to curl into a ball and cry. Rick decided to keep continuing the conversation, he wanted her to talk, and it is time to eliminate her guilt. She won't talk later, now is the time.

"Breath Jen, look at me" Rick forced Jen to look into his eyes, Jen is still struggling with her fear, and couldn't concentrate on Rick. But being Rick, he demanded her attention, he shook her to get her attention.

"Your dad's death was an accident, so our sons" Jen shakes her head, not ready to accept it was an accident.

"You are innocent, stop blaming yourself. If you really want to blame someone, blame it on me. If I would have not involved you in the first place, you might be living a happy life." Jen looks at Rick with disbelief.

"I decided to shoot Papa and I decided to terminate my pregnancy, stop making me a victim, Rick" She yell at him.

"Due to the created circumstances, I blamed myself to put you in that situation" He yelled back.

"I am the living curse, Jen. My dark fate took you under the wings and made chaos in your life. You are miserable because of me, you were and still is the most beautiful innocent soul. Our baby didn't survive as it came from me. My dark fate or my Karma will never allow me to have family," Rick sounded as broken as Jen. Both cried in silence. Jen, through her terror and horror and distress, saw the vulnerability of Rick, and instantly forgetting her grief, she seized hold of him. Leaning over him, she tilted his head and pressed her forehead against him. Tendrils of emotions swirled around them, Rick covered her hands with his as he allowed his tears to fall shamelessly.

After that, they didn't exchange words and came back to their nest. They slept in different rooms, fighting their own battles, the confrontation was too much for both of them. They tried to sleep but they were too overwhelmed with the entire situation that sleep was the last thing on their mind.

The next day, Rick prepared the breakfast, anxiously waiting for Jen. He doesn't know what step he should take next. As per her psychiatrist, Jen needed to talk about what she hid for so long in her chest. It was devastating to know, Jen suffered so much.

In the room Jen was nervous, she was not ready to face Rick after displaying her raw emotions. She wanted to leave without saying a word to Rick, it's so embarrassing how she broke down in front of Rick but she couldn't deny that she was feeling light after the confrontation like a great load shifted from her shoulders. Rick was standing in front of Jen's closed door and at the same time Jen was standing right there behind the door looking at the knob, building the courage to open it. Both were unaware that only the door was in between them. They both inhaled a sharp breath holding the knob. The wait was almost unbearable. Rick decided to knock first, but just before he could do that, Jen opened the door. Jen gasped finding him just before her, their eyes transfixed on each other, wishing someone to break the moment. Both were lost for words as they stare at each other.

"I... breakfast is ready" Rick announced shifting away his gaze from Jen, in response Jen nods her head.

Rick walked out after telling her but he turned to check Jen if was coming, and Jen's head bumped into Rick's hard chest as Jen was following him. Jen raised her head and saw an uncertain expression flash across Rick's face. Her heart began to pound. She took one step back and remotely Rick took one step towards her unknowingly.

Rick's heart is thumping madly. Despite knowing that he should not touch her, his heart was telling him a different story. He ran his hands through her hair then pushed her hair behind her shoulder, looking deep into her eyes. Jen parted her lips as she failed to avoid his eyes. After a few moments, Rick realized his mistake, he turned and left Jen standing alone at the door.

Timidly Jen sat on the chair, Rick served pancakes. The sound of their heartbeats is loud in the silent room, they have so many unsaid things to discuss yet they are waiting for others to break the ice.

Eventually, Jen put the spoon down and asked Rick avoiding the pounding of her heart.

"Why are we here Rick?" Rick was not prepared for the direct question.

"Have your breakfast, Jen. Yesterday already had been a tough day for you, too much to process." Rick tried to change the topic, he doesn't want another Jen panic attack. She had enough.

"No, I want the truth. I am not an idiot, you didn't force me to come here for what you said, you have a whole different agenda, isn't it?" Jen is not going to give up, the determination in her tone is quite evident.

"What agenda you presumed?" Now it's Rick's turn, Jen stares at Rick in perplex.

"You just can't avoid my question by asking another question" Jen sternly responded.

"How about we eat in silence without fighting, I am tired" Rick put stop to the conversation, he doesn't want to admit why he did it.

"Yeah, let's eat it" She nods her head firmly, a fresh stir of anger churned in her gut, she tried not to let her frustration and fury work on her but before she calm down, she did something she never dreamt of by throwing a goodsized chunk of syrup pancake on his face. Jen's face was horrified, she thought how stupid and gross! But she smacked him good, butter and syrup ran down his cheek and the pancake fell on the floor. She tried to calm down her wrecking nerves in the anticipation of a violent reaction from Rick but he remained stoned-faced. Still, Jen cowered before his blank expression.

The syrup fell from his hair and landed on the tip of his nose, Rick crunch his nose in annoyance. Jen blinked her eyes, and much to her absolute mortification, she found herself giggling. Slowly her giggles turn into a full-on laugh. And the moment froze for Rick, he bemused watching her burst into a beautiful laugh, she laughed so hard that she teared up, his chest warmed at the sight and he can't help himself as his grin spread across the depth of his cheeks and his eyes moist. Jen is laughing with her heart after ages, he almost forgot how she used to look while smiling, and he longed to hear her laugh. He remembered the gullible Jen who used to laugh childishly at every little joke. She was all about spreading smiles and happiness and he spoiled everything. Now looking at her smiling, Rick's dark eyes are smiling. Rick thought his heart would burst with joy.

Jen stopped laughing when she noticed Rick is looking at her intensely, his gaze blazed her. Jen's cheeks flushed as their eyes met, her heart failed a beat for a second, and she had to take a deep breath to restore her composure. Out of remorse, she got up from her seat to wipe his face. She walked towards Rick while aware of his burning gaze on her. Her heart flip flops when she reached for him, she stretched her hand to pick a napkin but Rick caught her hand and Jen shivered with his touch.

Too late to back out now, Rick thought as he pulled down Jen towards him until they are eye level, Rick's eyes sparkled with glee, and Jen stares into his eyes, not able to look away. Rick took hold of her wrist and pulled her finger over his face to remove some syrup and put her finger in his mouth. The moment was sensual, her face reddened with the intimacy, her eyes widen, her mouth opened agape and immediately she pulled her finger back which earned her a wink from Rick and he smiles.

Without giving a moment, Rick throws the whipped cream on her face, she was taken aback for a while but she smiles back and joined him by throwing the honey over him. And it's a blissful moment, the broken souls learned to smile again.....