Jen

Rick Adam's words are law. Despite my several excuses and refusal, he forced me to sit in his car and join him on his city drive. He doesn't even bother to wear the seat belt, his eyes are cast on a road as he drives with one hand on the steering wheel and his elbow resting against the window edge. I fight to avert my eyes from him, but it feels like I couldn't control my own body. I can still feel his soft, warm kiss lingering on my cheek, spreading warmth through my body like ripples on water and all I want is to feel those lips on me once again.

"You keep watching me this way and then claim that you hate me" His voice is like a slap on my face. Quickly, I forced my eyes off him and look out of the window.

"Sometimes I really wish I could read your mind" The deep intense voice summon me towards him and my eyes locked with his, watching me with an expression I couldn't read, he continued "and you could read mine," he said in a low husky voice, his eyes burning into mine, I shivered and shifted uncomfortably on my seat and my face getting hot as my cheeks flushed. Thank God, he directs his gaze on the road but his knuckles bloom ghastly white as his grip on the steering wheel tightens, suddenly he seems very angry, what's wrong with him?

Rick drove in silence, and I have a feeling that he is still disconcerted. Finally, he stopped the car near the shop. Shopping time!

"Go and find something nice for yourself" I don't like him ordering me.

"I told you, I am not in a mood for shopping" his heated gaze stops on me, threatening to argue further.

"Jen" the way he says my name, it sounds beautiful

"Fine" I want to cut the intimacy, I couldn't think rationally around Rick, especially after this morning.

I chose a few dresses, not fancy ones, I forgot to shop without checking the price tags, who would have thought Jenifer Milano will see this day.. However, I enjoy spending my money, earned with hard work, and now this Rick Adam decided to do charity for me.

"that's it?" his sudden presence startled me.

"I thought you would be waiting in a car"

"Why don't you try that one?" Avoiding my comment, he pointed over a summer yellow dress on a mannequin wearing a white hat. That's beautiful and pricey.

"I don't like it" I lied.

"But I love it, this reminds me of someone" My heart froze when he looks at me with affection. He smiles sweetly while his finger touches the tip of my nose adoringly, "Only mask is missing"

I closed my eyes as I realized what he is talking about. Our first meeting, I almost erased all memories of him, buried deep in the tomb of Jenifer Milano, this Jenifer Davis should not be affected, yet I moved to that moment, the most memorable day. I collided with the beautiful man, his deep dimple stole my heart and make me flutter, I laughed like never before, and my first real kiss. All memories flashed before me like a movie, a beautiful love story, a girl who fell crazily in love, living her own fairy tale and writing her own happily ever after...I felt a smile curve my lips until the horrific memories came back...his betrayal, lies, heartbreak and blood.

I open my eyes with a jolt and find him staring at me with a longing that made me ache, his eyes are on my lips and I could hear our heartbeats, everything disappeared at this moment. A soft sigh escaped my lips "That someone is dead," I could see the impact of my words on him, his eyes shadowed with sadness, it is so black and distinctive that anyone could have seen through his affliction with just one glance. He said nothing, a solemn nod is all he could offer.

Since when I became this heartless woman, instead of feeling sorry, I feel good to see him in this stance. Because, he deserves it, all pain and hurt, he made me this and I can only offer him pain and bitterness.

Rick paid the cashier for my things and we headed toward the next shop. We haven't exchanged a word, he took lots of chocolates, muffins and cupcakes. I wanted to ask him why he is taking all this yet my stubbornness refrained me.

Our next stop surprised me, it's an orphanage. I couldn't move at my single pace, its payback time for my rudeness. Rick brought me here to torture my soul,

"Let's go," he said softly.

"I don't want to, whatever business you have here, go finish it, I will wait in the car" Rick arched his eyebrows at me.

"You are coming with me, we are doing it together" He clearly showed his dominance, putting me on the spot.

"Rick" words struggled in my throat.

"Jen, you always love charity, what's wrong?" he seems perplexed.

"How many times do I remind you, I am not that Jen anymore, I am Jenifer Davis" My eyes dazzle with annoyance.

"Whoever you are, you will accompany me" he commanded. Shaking my head, I avoided him. It doesn't faze him, he opened my door and literally pulled me out of the car and forced me to walk with him.

I feel panic rose in me, my heart pounded in my chest and I shivered with each step.

"Mr. Adam, a pleasant surprise." The woman is familiar to him.

"Hello Ma'am" he greeted her humbly.

"Can we see the kids, we have some pleasantry for them"

"Why not, they will be happy to have you" she escorted us to the room full of kids. A few are toddlers and a few are a bit older. Rick's face brightens, he started distributing goodies to the kids and they jump with joy. Despite my throbbing headache, I could feel their smile lightening. They all round up around Rick, pleading with their cuteness to have his attention. I stayed away watching them mingle, Rick is talking to them, laughing with them making funny faces, and Kids adoring him. I never saw this sight of him, the sadness I witness before washed over with the company of these beautiful angels.

I stayed away watching them from afar, Rick encourages me a few times to join them but I glued to my place with a straight face. I don't want to show him these heart-melting pictures of him with kids affecting me.

I felt a tug on my jeans, a chubby kid holding my leg. "Upsy" his front two teeth look adorable on him. He scrunches his nose when he found no reaction from me. I thought he will go away if I will keep ignoring him. Instead of following Rick, he crawls between my legs drawing my attention, still I ignored him. That little spitfire bite me on my leg, damn stubborn kid, he got my attention. I thought to shove him away with an angry glare but when he laugh showing his two front teeth while clapping, my heart melted.

"Up" he demanded again. Bending my knees, I closely watch this kid.

"I don't have anything, see" I showed him my empty hands, but he misinterpreted, he jumps on me happily. With a deep sigh, I held this chubby kid.

"Up" Happily he announced, proud of himself for his accomplishment. That brings a smile to my face.

"Yes, up, you stubborn kid" I rub my nose on him. He smiles again, holding him in my arms, I got up. He pointed his finger at Rick's hand, and as this kid couldn't run like others for the cakes, he held on to me for help. Smart kid!

I step towards Rick, his gaze met mine then it shifted to the kid. Rick eyes soften, and he offers chocolates to the kid. The kid pouted as his eyes landed on cupcakes, unaware of his needs Rick looks confused. I laugh at his reaction.

"He wants a cupcake" Rick understood now, putting chocolate aside he grab cupcakes for him.

The kid claps again with joy. He took a bite of cake with his small teeth, a small amount of cream spread on his mouth, and he flashes his adorable smile again.

"You little bunny" I smile back, kissing his adorable cheek, in response he kisses me back. I never thought I could enjoy this much.

"Our kid would have been of his age" and that magical moment broke. The guilty tears sprang into my eyes, threatening to spill and the memories cut my heart sharply.

"You could have pulled it easily, the motherhood is natural to you" I stare into Rick's sad eyes, instead of anger, I found angst in them.

"I don't believe your lie that you killed our kid, you can't, you don't have it in you, Jen" With each word I felt an agonizing pain in my chest, the pain became unbearable and the tears fell.

Watching my tears, the kid stopped eating, innocently he offers his cake to me.

"have" I smile while my tears flood over my cheeks, I can feel my heart being torn into shreds by the horrific memories. Kissing his chubby cheek, I put him down, it is hard for me to detach myself from him, yes he reminds me of that hole in my heart that will never heal. I walked out of the building, sobbing uncontrollably holding my chest, I fell down on my knees as my legs give away and I cried until my eyes dried.