Rick

Once again, I have failed her. Jen must be disgusted with me, this part of Rick Adam is dark and dangerous. A part involves creepy criminals, who are thirsty for blood and money, always high on drugs and alcohol. Decency means bullshit to them, and I am not any different from them. A teenage boy grew as a man by stepping into this darkness. I learned here to survive for a living, one mistake and you are dead. However, I don't regret associating with this part of my life but am ashamed to show this sight of me to Jen. I was never fit right to her standards, she is an angel and I am worse than the beast. After this night, I am sure, Jen will never think of me as her future man. Who would like a rotten piece of mud?

"Rick, are you hurting?" I smile half heartedly looking into the most beautiful browns, God, I love her so much.

"So, your Mrs. Karen sent some regards to me?" I avoided her question because I am too embarrassed and too shaken at the moment, I hated the way Rob tried to touch her. I should have never said yes to her request.

"Umm... yeah, said hi" Jen averted her eyes from me, staring at the floor, I knew the conversation about me was not pleasant.

"She really hates me, isn't she?" I chuckle.

"You can't blame her, she loves me. And..." I am too depressed to listen to her reasoning. I cut her abruptly in between.

"Yeah, I deserve all hates" She looks at me lacking words, her eyes holding a distant sadness. After a good pregnant pause, she continues.

"I didn't mean that, Rick. She doesn't know our history, she only knows that you hurt me badly"

"yeah, I did" She looks at me with uncertainty, my heart bleeds, why I can't change the past? Why I had to ruin only one good thing that happened to me? Honestly, Mrs. Karen is not wrong for hating me, I loathe myself more than anyone.

An extended silence passed, a silence filled with so many raw emotions. She took time before she lifted her chin and stare right into my eyes.

"Rick" I dropped my chin.

"Look at me, Rick" her voice hold a demand, tilting my head, I dared to look at her.

"We cannot change our past" She is right, we cannot.

"You are right, we cannot" I lied down on the bed, tired and exhausted. Jen got the hint, I don't want to talk further about it. She gave me a space living me alone in the room, having no clue at all that I don't want space from her, I want her.

I must have dozed off, because I opened my eyes to find Jen nursing my bruises, her face bending over me, her soft finger caressing on my temple. At this moment, I want to take her in my arms and kiss her those half open lips passionately

"Umm... you are awake. Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you, please sleep" I could clearly see that Jen is nervous, she overtalks when she is nervous as I caught her near me.

"No worries, Jen" I assured her in my low tone, my eyes are still heavy.

"I am almost done, won't disturb you, get back to sleep" her voice is so soft like music to my ear, a look of guilt on her face is adorable.

"I am sorry" she blinks her eyelids in confusion, I really want to take her in my arm and kiss her.

"I should have known better, taking you there was not a wise move" Jen shakes her head.

"It was my idea, you don't need to be sorry"

"No, I knew nothing good can come out of it, that exactly happened" An adorable frown from Jen won't pacifying my remorse.

"Nothing bad happened, because you were right on time" But in my heart of hearts I know that's not true. She once again busied herself applying ointment on my bruises. Her finger burns my skin wherever she touches, her fingers lightly play over my eyebrows. She smeared her fingers with the ointment again, lightly applying it on my bruised lips. Her eyes fix on my bruises, unknowingly she starts leaning towards me. My breath became shallow and quick, our lips are inches apart and I am losing all my restraints. We came this far, I don't want to ruin it. I want her comfortable around me, to trust me again, not want to force her into a kiss. I count numbers in my head.

Her hair is all entangled and spoilt, her breath is as full of fragrance, without even trying, she is seducing me with her innocent eyes. It's hard to stop moving towards her, but I am retarding. Suddenly, she caught me watching her with a longing gaze. Her eyes widen in surprise, but she holds my gaze, not wanting to end this moment. I could feel a millimetric distance between us.

"Can we just stop?" I exasperated.

"What?" She is taken aback by my reaction.

"Pretending that we don't want to kiss right now" Jen closed her eyes for a moment, then begins wiping her fingers with tissue paper. Her beautiful brown eyes find it difficult to meet mine, my hands on their accord reach her face and forced her to look into my eyes.

"Rick" The plea came out of her mouth in a husky whisper.

"When you whisper my name like that, I'd go through hell itself for you." Her face flushed, she could hardly breathe.

"Stop it Rick" I want her to want me, how difficult it could be. I study her feverish face for a while, then mumble hoarsely.

"I know" Her rejection has sharpened the pain in my chest, I struggle to breathe. Making a distance between us, I averted my gaze from her.

Then suddenly, I feel her moist lips against my cheek, and all the pain I felt a moment ago vanished. Her warm breath tickles my skin, but to my disappointment, this moment doesn't last more than few seconds.

"You are right, I want.. to kiss you" licking her lips she cast her gaze on me nervously. "But, I don't want to ruin the progress we have made" A real smile linger on my lips as I noticed, how honest she is.

I nod my head slowly looking into her eyes, my finger etches to caress her soft cheeks and trace her lips, I don't know if I could stop after that. Jen is right, we can't destroy in the heat of the moment, what we built together after lots of efforts.

"You adore Mrs. Karen" I changed the topic to avoid the growing intensity between us.

Resting her head on the bed, she stairs the ceiling, like thinking in a deep.

"It's hard not to, she loves me unconditionally, that's first for me" I know she is not being sarcastic, yet it hurts.

"But she hates me" Copying Jen's position, I rested my head on the bed.

"Can you really blame her for that" she chuckles, my arrogant self would not like it, yet I smile stupidly.

"Yeah, I am Rick Adam" And she looks at me with a knowing smile, I love how her eyes shine when she smiles. It's been ages since I saw this side of her.

"Yeah, Jerk Rick Adam" She forgot to put My Jerk, which she used to say. The way her eyes sadden, I know she is thinking about the same.

"Why didn't you date Megan, she is pretty and has a crush on you" Jen actually surprised me, that's totally random.

"So?" I asked not giving much weightage on this topic.

"Have you been in any relationship after.." she couldn't complete her sentence.

"No" I don't need to think twice about it, Jen amusingly watches me.

"Not even" again she couldn't finish it, she amazed me with her naiveness.

"Fucking?" not avoiding it, she nods her head in response.

"No"

"Why?" Briefly meeting her eyes, I inhale sharply.

"Because I don't want to forget your touch, the intimacy, your love, and how whole I felt in you. We not only made love that day Jen, but you also imprinted my soul with yours." Her eyes moist, tears forming in my eyes too.

"This traitorous heart never stops longing for you, even my eyes find nothing beautiful because you are my definition of beauty and love." I honestly replied with my heart, Jen startles me when she wraps her arms around my neck and slowly cups my face between her hands, before I could think, she presses herself against me and I could feel her lips passionately covering mine. Her lips are wet with tears, but they thrust against mine without any hesitation. I could not stop myself from kissing her back, all restraints gone. We tangle our lips in slow but a long kiss, couldn't have enough of each other I gently pull her on my lap without breaking a kiss. I am in heaven; it might sound overdramatic cliché but I would happily die after this

Hello, lovelies!!

Enjoy this chapter.

Eagerly waiting for your feedback on this chapter.

This chapter has some light moments of JenRick, these beautifully broken hearts can smile too.

Enjoy.

Take care, be safe.

Love, love and lots of love to you...