Jen

My eyes flutters, they want to open but my body is too tired to do any movement. I want to lay down on the bed and sleep forever, too exhausted for the world. My body is in a fetal position, covered with a warm duvet. I am not asleep although my body feels kind of heavy like its sinking into the mattress. A great relief that Rick is not around, I am too embarrassed to face him. Last night, I almost made a fool of myself, Rick won't let go of this opportunity to mock on me. Argg... I hate my life. Next, I open my eyes slowly and close it, while taking a deep breath I open my eyes again. I am still here, still in the trap of Rick.

"Good morning" I jump, I mean my body jerks forward as I've just been scared awake.

"I didn't mean to scare you, get up, come for the breakfast" I hear Rick say in a soft voice before the sound of the bedroom door clicking shut fills my ears, and I turn back to find myself alone in the room.

Why is he playing nice? Is he feeling pity for me, I don't need his pity, I don't want his damn sympathy? I am not a nut case, I chanted the mantra which I accustom to... "I am strong, I don't have any emotion except bitterness for the world. Nobody could ever hold power on me, not even Rick"

Quickly taking the shower, I headed to meet Rick, steeping towards the dining area, I look around for him. My hands are cold, wondering why in the hell I'm nervous to see Rick again. I thought for sure I wouldn't be able to hide forever for him when actually I am stuck with him for the month. You are here for a reason Jen, I lift my chin with determination and headed to the kitchen. I am not going to let Rick make me feel stupid and nervous.

I halt at my place as my eyes landed on Rick and at the mess all over the kitchen table and on the floor. Holly shit, what the hell happened here, making breakfast couldn't be such a big deal.

While my heart starts racing as I move across the room to stand right behind him. I gently clear my throat for his attention "Is there any problem?"

As soon his blue eyes meet mine, my heart leaps. Not only kitchen but Rick looks a total mess. His apron cover with stain marks and his hands are busy in flipping the pancake. Without giving me any attention, he continued his task. The awkwardness filled the room and I start sweating, even in that state I couldn't keep my eyes off from him. If it would be old me, I must have found him sexy... What the hell, I shook my head and tried to snap myself out of these crazy thoughts.

"Like it?" My attention was drawn to Rick, he has a smile on his face that let me know that he knew what's going on in my head.

"huh?" In response, he smiles again, mischievous smile, with an edge of wicked fun, and in his eyes, I could see the confidence that he knew exactly how he affects me. He just leans his extra height downward, curving his body toward me.

"Pan cake, do you like it?" Lost for words, I tried to avoid the intimacy of this moment and kept my eyes on his, though his intense gaze troubles me.

"NO" And I succeed to break that intimidate moment, gazing at him directly I continued "I actually hate pancake-like many other things" His confidence eyes seem to sadden, and though he managed a smile, there is a hurt shining in his eyes.

"I would better settle myself with this brown bread and butter" I stretch my hand to grab the butter, but Rick stop me abruptly and pulled me closer to him, reeling me in like a fish on a hook, I want to yell and scream at him. I bit my tongue, feeling anger swell within me. I look away.

"It's not about what you like, my sweetheart, this is about what I want you to like...so now you will be enjoying your pancake" Rick looks at me, heaving an aggravated sigh. Our hands are stuck between our bodies, I poke him in the chest, and he steps back from my slight push.

"This is not part of our deal" I am on a roll now, moving him backward as I spoke. The look on his face went from a frown to surprise.

"I will have what I like, you couldn't force me to have your damn pancake, just because you made it" I extenuated the last words.

We stop as his back hit the kitchen platform, I watch a small smile edging up on the corner of his mouth, his eyes starting to sparkle with humor.

"Don't you find this funny, Rick?" I pointed my finger at him, raising his eyebrows questionably he stares at me.

"What?" I asked flatly, my angry tone conveying across the room.

"For a healthy baby, you should have a healthy womb" Taking a deep breath, I ready myself to argue but at the same time, I felt a sharp pain in my chest as I realized he is doing this for his selfish motive, not because he cares for me.

"So, yeah this is very much part of our deal" Crossing his arms over his chest, Rick said it with a stern expression.

"oh, yeah, this is always about you and your deal" Instead of an angered outburst, I merely look at him with judging eyes, Rick met them for a second, then turned away quickly. I couldn't take it.

"If we are done with this morning melodrama, can we have breakfast in a peace" With this he walked away from me, plating the breakfast on the table? He doesn't even have the courtesy to wait for me, he starts devouring his pancake.

Rick

Jen has not eaten nicely since evening, last night she was totally vulnerable, I wanted to hold her until she wakes up, tells her that she is not alone, she has me. All she needs is love and care, but at the same time, she will never allow me to love her, to take care of her. I left her alone early in the morning with a heavy heart, so I could drive a mile away for a network to have a word with her psychiatrist.

"She was totally in a dark place, how would I help?" I almost choke on my words.

"I know Mr. Adam, but she didn't take that pills last night, it's a little progress"

"No it's not, she was forlorn and shaking in her sleep. She thinks I didn't know but, she was sobbing the whole night. I couldn't do this to her again, I will let her have her pills" I don't want her to go through that misery again.

"Look Mr. Adam, the medicine you showed me are very powerful, she forced me to prescribe her for extreme nightmare case but according to you, it seems she is taking them regularly. which is not good for her health, those are very powerful and can damage her brain. She is slowly going into the dark depression, in such cases, the person ends up in asylums or becomes suicidal" Fuck, I will end this world before letting anything harm my Jen. The little conversation with Jen's psychiatrist only worsens my fear. I am afraid to lose her for a real this time, I would turn heaven into hell if anything happens to my Jen. I will do everything in my power to let her out from her dark place, if killing myself can bring a smile on her face, I would do without any hesitation. I sighed an angry breath and keep gulping my food down, I know Jen is watching me and it would infuriate her that I am eating without her. How do I tell her, I am desperate to share breakfast, lunch, and dinner with her... I wish this could be that easy.

Jen, please come and have something.. I prepared all this for you, I wanted to distract you. Last night was not easy, and I was sure you would be uneasy this morning. So, I thought to do something clumsy to surprise you, first when you looked at me with awe, I felt euphoric, I hoped for a magic moment, but then again you rejected me harshly. I would take thousands of your rejection with a smile, even it kills me, my Intense Love would cross all the barriers to reach your soul and bring you back to life.

Jen hesitantly took the chair and pour some coffee to herself.

"Get ready in some time, we need to go for grocery shop" I announced without even looking at Jen.

"I am not going anywhere with you" She flatly stated, her rebellious behavior sometimes bothers me, I tried to be as patient as I can, but when it comes to her health, I easily lose my shit. She has not touched her breakfast yet.

"You will do whatever I ask you to do, for the starter, have your breakfast" Finally, I allow myself to look into her blazing eyes. Her face turns red with anger.

"I am not your servant, we are in a contract. If you want, you can ask me to sleep with you, right here and right now but not more than that" her words hit me hard and quick, I stare at her with open mouth. A wave of despair washed over me and I lower my head to hide the pain caused by her words.

"Your words can't hurt me" I uttered, not knowing what else to say or do, that's a big lie as it broke my heart into million pieces.

"You have to be human for that" She yelled back.

"What do you want Jen? Do you want me to react violently, it turns you on..." All I wanted to have breakfast with Jen in peace, wanted to take care of her, to let forget her struggle but this is too much to ask for...

I dare to look at her face, I can see I've shocked her. She is pale as a ghost, her eyes are wide. Then suddenly her mouth flies open.

"You are pathetic" Jen scream right in my face. Yes, I am pathetic, evil and a pig who doesn't deserve any happiness...yes, we have figured that out already.

After screwing my head, she doesn't even bother to take a single bite of breakfast, she just pushed her chair back, she walked away before she could see my reaction.

I got up from the seat, it just snapped me. I could see red rage, heat in my face. Pure venom, I tried to hold myself self but each word is like a dagger to my heart, wounding me crudely.

I grab her arm roughly, she seems as a light doll, her face tip towards me, her mouth open, gaping wide. Pushing everything out of the table, I force her up and press her on the table. I watch as she shivers with suddenness, a rush of something floods me. I can't describe, I lean over her, staring into her brown eyes.

"The monster in me wants to taste you right here, you permitted him to come out." I breathe into her lips, I set my jaw, my hand cursing her waist. Desire rises in me, her lips quiver. She closed her eyes, not fighting at all. Is she giving her consent?

She thinks I am evil like she knows what evil is.

I stare at her face, breathlessly, expectantly, my body tightening with each passing moment. An endless second ticked. My hands-on their own accord cupped her face, Jen is still but I could hear her heart pounding hard. My jaw ticks as I notice tear stroll down from the corner of her eyes and that sting me like a thousand needles sticking me all at once in one place, on my silly stupid heart. I want to scream out loud in frustration, for nothing than just to control myself, I don't want to hurt Jen. So, I did what always soothes me. Resting my head against her, I listen to the soft sound of her breathing, that is my healer. I want to hold her close and kiss her, to caress her and rid her of the anger and tension that seized her. I want to do everything as I never did before. I couldn't though, I don't think anything I do would erase her the old bitter memories of her. I had never seen this look on her face, it is a strange and impersonal look. It does not covey to any emotional expression of hers that I am familiar with. What should I do to get my Jen back? I felt helpless.

Rubbing the tip of my nose against the tip of hers, I cool down myself. Then kiss her tip of the nose, closing my eyes, I just enjoy our closeness.

"Don't make me lose my shit, Jen." I beg her, I couldn't help her until I fought my anger. She allows her eyelids to open, she observes me as if seeing me for the first time and want to know who I am. We stare at each other for a while, there is no look of love anymore in her once romantic eyes, hate the only blazed in them. I release her, hesitantly.

Hello beautiful people there!!

This is been a while I last updated, trust me I was missing this..but apprantly I have my plate full right now with the lots of other responsibilities... I promise, will complete my two books which I started on Wattpad for my reader who have been patiently waiting. I will complete the book even if only few readers left to read my books, i owe to them as they are important part of my life, they are my inspiration who force me to take out time and wander into my imagination.

Anyways, I love you guys and hoping you all are doing well. These past few months were not good on me, yet here i am. Maybe, it affects my storyline, please notify me if you observe it.

Enjoy another chapter of HIs Intense Love, eagerly waiting to know your feebdack..

Love, love and lots for love for you!!