Jen

Returning back to the same room which I shared with Rick is nothing but a big punishment to my shattered heart, although we barely talked in this room but each moment was very special with him in its own way. My gaze halt to the bed, I remembered the way I scooped into his arms to escape my nightmares, it seems he became a wall between me and my bad memories when he was the one who was responsible for that. Why I'm going through with the same pain which I seemed to cut it out from my system when I left him for a good reason, I have forbidden myself to feel anything for a long time, then why I want to crouch and weep and weep my heart out for him. I hate to be that girl again, I wipe my tears, this is your mistake Jen, you are failed to guard your heart from Rick. You let your emotions make you vulnerable once again, you are strong than this.

This room is haunting me with the memories of Rick, I need to get the hell out of this room. So, I just walk out of the room, down the stairs and out into the street. I walk until its dark, I walk until I feel like I can't take another step. And then I turn around and walk back to the hotel, because sadly I don't know where else to go.

Once I enter the hotel, the receptionist smiles and hands me over a handwritten note. My stupid heart twitch around for a second, this could be from Rick. I took that from her, I could hear my pounding heart in my chest, controlling my nerves I remind myself not to feel anything about it.

You overthink about everything transpired between you and him, this is his old sick game to play with your heart. He wanted to scare you with the thought of him leaving you, just to return back and laugh at your vulnerability. But little did he know, he helped me to remind myself why I hated him at first place. Without reading the note, i scrunched it up and tossed it into the bin expertly without a backward glance.

"Oouch, that's rude" she turns to look back at the person, she never imagined could be here and her eyes linger in his face for a long minute in disbelief.

"Jen what is it? You are looking at me like I'm stranger, have you forgotten me already?" A smile spread over my face, momently his presence lessens my pain.

"Daniel" I call his name a little bemused.

A bright smile flash on his face as he continued to say, while walking towards me.

"That's me, and thankfully she remembers!" he winks at me with a playful glance, before I could think anything to do or say, his arms wrap around me, and I am flooded with a warmth and overwhelmed. Taking a deep breath into his smell, I realised that I needed this hug more than anything at this moment in my life. I nestle my head on his chest and I feel my heart began to relax.

"I wanted to see you since the day we talked Jen but something comes up...hope you understand" I nod my head still gluing to him then I remembered our conversation. Within a fraction of moment, I pull away from him, uncomfortably gazing at him with a faint smile.

Like always this time too he caught my discomfort, I don't want to give him any false hope that things could be more than friendship between us. I don't want to ruin what we have, he is the only person who still understand me more than anyone else.

"One of shitty day, you shouldn't worry yourself about me. I'm good" I answer him gathering some courage to look into his eyes to show him that I'm not keeping anything from him. He seems lost for a moment, he knew I don't want to talk about it, then quickly he jumps onto another topic.

"Why did you do that to my note? It was little insulting, I must say" he said to lighten our awkward moment but it has contrary effect over me. So, it means the note was not from Rick... somehow this information upsets me more.

"I'm sorry...I..I thought it was from.." I couldn't bear to even think or say his name, I suck in my breathe, nervously avoiding Daniel's gaze.

"Rick?" I gasp with surprise, unable to help it. It mean Daniel knew Rick would be here, isn't it?

"Don't give me this surprise look, Ryan and I are friends too, I happen to know what's going on in his life and his business." He is right.

"Let's talk over dinner, I am so hungry" Taking my hand into his, he pull me to diner.

During dinner, I learned Scarlet is doing well. Daniel and Scarlet are close friends now, he shared how they fight about silly things, actually she was the reason he delayed his visit to me. She faked her illness to make him rush to her because she was missing him, my typical Scarly. Hearing things about Scarly is therapy to my heart and I am so grateful to Daniel for keeping up with Scarlet and understand her better. I owe him my life for taking care of my only family in the whole world but sadly I couldn't even call her mine. Sadness engulfed inside of me.

"She misses you, though she never expresses this into the words but I know" Holding my hand into his, he continues with his assuring smile "Just the way you do"

Hold on to your emotion Jen, you are allowing the emotion to get over you. This is not right.

"I don't miss her, but I couldn't forget the fact that she still is my younger sister. Thanks for sharing the information of her wellbeing."

"You both are alike, always trying to pretend tough when you are not" His statement offended me.

"You are wrong Daniel, we both sisters are tough and became this way due to the situation, we are not weak anymore and I don't know about her but I don't need anyone to have pity on me." I put my point sternly in front of him.

"I didn't intend to offend you, I just meant that you both need a healer, a relationship which will tend your heart and make you believe in love once again." Love, I hated to know where this topic is going, why he has to dig into our painful past.

"There's no love Daniel, it's just a myth. Don't go there, please I beg you" An indescribable mixture of emotion appears on his angelic face and I feel guilty to make him upset. I couldn't deny the fact that Daniel always has feelings for me but he doesn't understand that I'm not looking for any relationship right now and to be honest I don't think I can ever love anyone the way my heart worshiped Rick once, he left the scar to my heart which will never disappear...never..

Thankfully this awkward dinner interrupted by Ryan, he seems happy to have Daniel here. Ryan doesn't look himself, something amiss in his attitude. Surprisingly he apologised for his earlier rude behaviour to me and I gladly accepted. Ryan invited Daniel for tomorrow's pre-launch party, finally this is getting over, working with Richards. I would be free from his continuous stares, his unavoidable presence and witnessing his grief through his eyes.... why always I end up thinking about Rick...Gosh.

The big day came, and with it, the pre-launch party. Still I had not heard from Rick, not for personal reason but from professional point of view I wanted him to be part of this party, as he has also put his all ideas and time to make this event successful than I ever thought. I spent the day having the space setting up for the big party, Daniel was at my side all the time, at times he irritated me by forcing me to have a small meal in between the work.

Ryan has invited the people, associated with this project and ready for a big toss.

Ryan and Jenny were among the first people to show up, after all its Ryan Project. I noticed some disturbance between them, though they are smiling to each other. Since when you started taking interest into somebody's business Jen, I mentally chide myself.

"You looks amazing, Jen" I nervously thank Daniel for his compliment, he is being nice to me because I don't feel I am even near to good, wearing a simple dress along with stud earrings and my hairs up in tight. I feel like anything but beautiful besides glamorous women in this room.

"You don't like my compliment, huh?" Daniel narrows his eyes looking at my face, by judging his expression I can guess, he wants to know why I am feeling out of place in this party, he is so right because I am damn out of my comfort zone.

"It's not that but I want this to get over soon" Shaking his head, he chuckles and he pull me along with him to dance floor.

"Let me help you to get over this" he lean into my face and whisper those words into my ears, it might look too intimate to others, and I noticed sudden dislike in Jenny's eyes. I know in her head she roots me with Rick, and doesn't his name is enough to accelerate my heart.

"I can't dance, Daniel" I try to excuse myself but Daniel is in no mood to hear me today. Taking my hand, he wrap his much larger one around mine as he pulled it up next to his shoulder, then he place his free hand at the curve of my waist, astounded with his sudden gained confidence, I have no room to argue but to give in to his demand. We sway our bodies to slow beats of music, I couldn't dare to look into Daniel's eyes, there's extreme silence between us, I could feel his eyes focused on me intently. I caught him staring at me through dance, not saying a word, just letting his eyes do talking, I need to regain control of the situation, I am aware the feelings of Daniel, and this makes the situation more complicate. Somewhere in my head, this could be an ideal future for me, in the midst of all chaos, this could be my stillness.

I am too consumed with my thought when I heard his gentle voice "Stay with me, Jen" I dared to look up into his eyes, it holds too much love and do I dare to accept the offer that smouldered in their depth?

Then something bizarre and unexpected feelings engulfed me, I couldn't finger a point on it but it's there. In that same moment it feels like I am being watched, weirdly despite of getting panic or look for the intruder, I found myself getting nostalgic by those pairs of eye watching me from afar. I don't need to recheck to ensure who he is, stupidly the racing of my heartbeats and the soul of mine could sense him out of nowhere and I so hated this....