Rick

We drove hotel in complete silence, locked in our own thoughts, sadness engulfed us, we can't even have a single night sneaking away from our past. Whenever I think I'm making progress to her heart, she becomes more rigid and distant, thanks to our too many bad memories of past. She seems lost in her thoughts, locked in faraway distant trance. She remains that way until we pull up in front of our hotel porch. She quickly dash out of the car and into the hotel.

I remain in the car, here I could breathe that sigh which her presence restrain, shed those tears which her presence forbade to flow. I can't be with her in this mind frame, I am broken man and she doesn't need to see this sight of me. So I decide to hit the bar to forget this draining ache of my heart.

Two bottles down, still I can't forget this numbness of my heart. It craves for her, my heart is begging to go back to her room and feel her soothing closeness but my mind refrain me as it knows that we need a space.

I took another large gulp from the bottle, l could hear my phone ringing, but it would have to wait. I am not in a mood to entertain anybody right now. I almost groan in frustration when my phone starts ringing one more time. It feels my heart freeze in the chest watching Jen's name pop up on the screen. Is she in any trouble?

Without wasting a moment I pick the call.

"Are you ok?" I freaked out.

"Yes" Uncertainly she replied, I take breath of relief.

"You called?" I blurt, I shook my head on my stupidity.

"Yeah, umm.... You didn't come to the room, so I thought what's taking you long?" hesitantly she ask, I could hear something in her voice which I couldn't put in the word.

"Don't wait up for me, lock the door properly and sleep" This time she doesn't answer, but I could hear her let out a heavy breathe.

"Ohh.. that's fine" The way she replied I feel to explain myself, and I did before she thinks I am out for one night stand.

"I am having beer outside in the bar, nothing else"

"You don't have to explain me, bye" she cut the calls, leaving at the edge of frustration. It should be me who need to be angry not her. I made fool of myself by organizing a dinner date for her, thinking it helps us to the bridge of amends which was laughable. But why she sounds afraid? Most importantly disappoint when I told her I'm staying out. It might be my assumption.

I lost track of the time drowning my sorrows or my aggravation or my anger in drinking. I couldn't forget the worry, the hesitation in Jen's voice. If not to stay, I should at least go and check on her, with that thought I walk to our room.

A feeling of relief surges through my veins, watching Jen sleep on her bed. I am thinking too much nowdays I guess, she is fine. But surprisingly my relief turns to worry when I notice Jen juggling into her sleep. She is saying something in her sleep which I couldn't hear. Immediately I fasten my step towards her, I sit near her. My chest tighten, I feel lump rise in my throat, witnessing her shaking badly and crying into her sleep, tears wet her cheeks.

I wipe her tears caressing her cheeks, she has to wake up, he can't bear her aghast muffle sob.

Shaking her body I call her name few times, she dig her fingers into my flesh and scream to let her go, fighting to get out of my hold in panic.

"Jen wake up" I shout a bit louder this time and thankfully she open her eyes.

To be honest, she looks terrible, her eyes are red and puffy. She looks up , and I see that she does not recognize me, she blinks at me for a moment then shove me away, getting up on her trembling feet. Like a mad woman , she starts throwing the things out of the drawer, searching for something. Jen's face went grey green as if she is going to be sick

"Jen what are you doing?" She avoids my words continuing her task, she is shivering frantically. Wiping her tears from back of her hand, she mumble something. I stand behind her to see, what she is doing.

"Why I'm not finding it, it has to be here" I heard her clearly this time. She is talking to herself, rubbing her arms like she is wiping away something from her in disgust.

I turn her to me to get her attention, she looks back and push me away.

"Don't touch me, you will ruin yourself" I look at her dumbstruck, what does that mean?

"Jen, calm down please" I try to reach out to her, she is not listening at all.

"No stay where you are, there is so much blood, oh god" she starts crying, scrunching her nose, she steps back. She is hallucinating of something, I couldn't understand how to control her.

"There is no blood, Jen. Calm down please, let me help you" Shaking her head, once again she busied herself looking for something, she stops, it appears she found what she was looking for.

My heart leap into my throat, hung there suffocating me before I swallow it so splash into the acids of my stomach. She has a bottle of pills, she vault off towards the lamp table, before she could take the pills, I stop her.

"Jen, is something wrong?" she struggle in my hold.

"Let me have this" Is she taking drugs, my whole body froze.

"You don't need this, come let me take you to the bed" holding her arms, I make her sit on the bed.

"You don't understand, I need to have this...or else he .. he" she broke into tears, covering her face.

"Nothing will happen to you Jen, trust me, I am here, I won't let anything happen to you." I hug her tight, I give into tears, her sobs tearing through him. She pleaded and mumble to herself.

"Let me have this Rick, I want him to vanish, he is staring at me" I pull her closer to my body.

"his bloodied face is staring at me, he is not leaving me Rick, ask him to go, please... I am sorry please go"

"Who is looking at you, Jen" I take part to confront her, this will help her.

"He hates me....dad go away" his hands tighten around her, she weeps into my chest. She is having nightmare of her own father, my heart break into pieces analyzing that she is going through post trauma.

"He will leave you alone, just calm down." I lift her chin up to look into her eyes, I feel my powerlessness like a weight on my chest, like a cry that is stuck, looking at her vulnerable state.

"Let me have my pills please, it makes everything go away, please" this time I couldn't say no to her, she is into some another tangent, he couldn't reach to her to help her. Helplessly, he give her that pills, immediately she snatch the pills from him an gulp it with the water. Her hand clutching her chest, choking on the water, she hiccups into her cry. I take the glass and wipe her mouth.

Her eyes looking into mine, like finally she is watching me. Her heavy breathing calm down little, she looks ashamed, she turns her head from me, crying silently.

"Are you feeling better?" she nods her head, looking back to me, she is staring somewhere beyond my head, eyes dim and distant.

"Jen"

"hmm" a lying short smile curve her pink lips, I nods in return.

"Let's sleep then" Absentmindedly she lays down on the bed, I am shock finding her in this trauma, I never thought she could be this weak, she hides well behind her balance posture. I thought she became stronger out of his past experience, but that's a big lie, she is faking herself being a strong headed woman when she is so fragile. He hated himself as he knows its him who broke her, he is the reason for her this situation. He get up to go away from her to mop his guilt but her soft hand stops him.

An agonizing pain crept slowly into his throat as he watches her teary eyes.

"Stay" he is stunt to hear this out but happy at the same time, he could do anything to stay with her, begging her for her forgiveness. To tell her he will never let anything happen to her, he would do everything to get her forgiveness, to tell her that he is beyond his guilt and would slash himself to death if this could help her to live her life again.

But he choose silence, he lay down beside her, maintaining a good distant from her, not want to cause any more trouble to her.

He is taken aback when Jen put her head on his chest and put his arms around her, she breathes into his chest, soothing him in process.

Her body is cold, still shaking with fear, he gently caress her back, slowly her body calm down and her breathing becomes steady. Once she sleeps into peace, my tears fall silently onto her face. I smooth away with my finger, caressing her cheek with my finger. Brushing her hair away from her face, I place soft kiss on her lips, holding her tightly. Taking a breath and storing her smell in his memories, he vows to give her all the happiness of the world with him or...without him.

"I am sorry Jen...I am so sorry and I love you" I whisper holding her in my arms, the tears of guilt escapes from my eyes and I repeats my apology number of times to unaware sleeping Jen.

Jen

My head is killing me, I don't know how long I slept as my body is not moving at all. My eyes are swollen with cry, I tried to remember what happened last night which caused me such pain. My heart starts pounding in my chest as the memories flooded right in front of my eyes, tears welling up in my eyes on the realization that Rick witnessed her weakest moment.

I'm awake fully, and turn my head to right, I don't know what to feel looking at the empty bed, it should see relief, she doesn't have to face Rick or more it's hurt me bad not finding him near me.

After taking a bath and change into fresh, I look around for Rick... he gave me a off from the work, he might be at work.

Taking steps back to the room, I bump into Ryan.

"Good morning " I slowly greet him, he looks frustrated.

"You look very happy this morning " his rough tone aggregate me.

"What do you mean by this Mr. Richard? " Squinting my eyes and looking right into him I ask, he can't intimidate me, that only Rick.. I shook the thought of him.

"Innocent Ms. Davis, I meant to say you are suceded to rid off him, congratulations for giving me such a bad headache in this morning."

"sorry, I can't understand "

"Rick is gone Ms. Davis, leaving me to handle this all of my own, are you happy" with that Ryan left me alone to deal with this information, my heart stops beating for a moment, what.. He left...

What could more should I expect from him, he witnessed me all shattered and decided that I'm not for him. Who would want such a good for nothing woman in his life, who can't even sleep well in the night, struggling with her nightmares.

Nightmares left me alone for a few weeks, I don't know how this happened, it's because of Jenny or Rick, I was good for a long until last night when Rick left me alone.

He left me, making a big hole in my heart to shallow. Why you seems to upset Jen, this is what you wanted..right??

Unstoppable tears smudge my face and I run back to my room. Vowing not to think about him... I hate you Rick....

Hello Lovelies!!

Finally I updated...

Hope you like this painful chapter, Rick realized what damages he has done to Jen.. will this change his heart and make him to leave Jen alone to live her life..

What if in between this complicate situation, one more complication come, but sweet and my one of the favorite one...guess who?

The next update will be His Trophy...

Loads of Love to you...