The marble felt cool under his had. Cole pressed his skin against it, his palm flat against the cold stone. It was all he could do to keep himself grounded. His head was still spinning. It felt like something more, like there was something seriously wrong with his body. But he knew that wasn't the case; the truth was that he was probably having a panic attack. He was a little kid left alone in the woods, and for some reason, it scared him more than it ever had before. 

What was he without his big sister? 

He wasn't fully aware of how long he stayed like that, shaking slightly, dried tears on his face, sweating and still covered in Kaleb's blood. Cole squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he could press a button and make the terrible anxiety and loneliness leave him. It felt sort of like some unseen force had reached into him and carved out a piece of him, like there was a gap where his stomach had been. He could only think about it, like it was a black hole that consumed all of his energy to the point that he'd have nothing left, that he'd pass out. 

Somewhere in the back of his head, Cole registered the door to the room opening suddenly. But he was too deep in his own frightened brain to really realize that there was now someone else in the room with him. All he wanted was for Kaia to come back and tell him that this was a dream...a nightmare. 

Cole felt like he was floating away from himself. But then...a voice. Somewhere. Cole slowly opened his eyes. This person sounded worried. Close, now. The stranger was right in front of him, right? Cole started to fall back into his body. 

As he fell, he was strangely aware of a tingling on his skin. Cole slowly raised his head to see the person who'd at least partially brought him back to earth. He was afraid that if he moved too quickly he'd slip again or get dizzy and lose what balance he'd managed to maintain. 

Cole stared at the man in front of him. He was young, but seemed older that Cole was. Maybe around twenty or so. The guy had light, somewhat messy blond hair. It stuck up in some places. His skin was a light olive color, which made his strikingly blue eyes stand out noticeably. A small scar gashed its way through his left eyebrow. He was sort of thin, but he didn't seem weak in the slightest. He was...somehow both elegant and rough at the same time. 

Cole swallowed hard. What the hell? 

He shook off the strange feeling on his skin and focused back on his own body. He was still shaking a little, and he raised his hand to try to steady it. Cole glared at it, willing his body to calm down. For some reason, he didn't want to look weak in front of this guy. "I'm fine." Cole wasn't sure what the guy had really said earlier, but he remembered the concern, even panic in his voice. 

Cole almost jumped back when this guy took his hand. But for some reason, he didn't. It felt kind of good to touch another person, like a reminder that he was human and wasn't a ghost floating through the air, drifting around the ceiling of the ball room, eternally whispering Kaia's name as if it would change anything. His hand was warm, and Cole found himself staring at it for a second. Why were his hands so slender? 

"Are you sure?" he asked. Cole met his eyes. God, they were intense. Do people even have eyes that blue? They seemed strangely vulnerable, too; surrounded by pale gold lashes, they were a warning and a call for help. 

What in the hell was going on? For a second, he'd felt alive again. Kaia had slipped from his mind. A sinking feeling set in on Cole's stomach. He felt a little sick. "You just...don't seem ok. You're covered in blood."

Ugh, his voice was calming. Cole hated that he wanted to curl up in a ball and rest his head on this guy's lap, fall asleep like that. He was weak and he hated feeling like a child. But his hand was so warm. "I just got dizzy," Cole grunted out. He hoped his voice didn't betray anything. He had to try harder than usual to conceal the warmth that surrounded him. So warm. He missed warmth, but stopped himself as he realized that he was beginning to tighten his grip. 

This was just the closest person. Honestly, if it had been anyone, Cole probably would have clung to them all the same. He just hated loneliness, the same loneliness that he'd been clinging to by lying to Kaia. He needed it to protect her, but he hated it so much. 

"Take it from someone who lies about this sort of thing a lot. It doesn't really help to keep quiet. Tell someone, or you'll end up like me," he said. Cole stared at him. Tell me, he heard, but he ignored it. 

"End up like you?" Cole asked. It didn't seem like a bad thing, to be honest. As long as he wasn't like himself, right? That was what he hated the most, being a coward. 

"No matter how close you get to people, there will always be a gap between you and the rest of the world," he said, his eyes honest and shining a little, "If you hide the truth, all you're doing is hurting yourself and the people around you."

A tiny angry spark flickered to life in him. He knew that. Wait. Did he know that? He'd hidden the truth from Kaia for years. Had it really helped her? Was she safer not knowing that there were wolves in the world that wanted her blood? Or had he hurt her by listening to his father? Anger, guilt, regret...pain. 

For some reason, he wanted to ask what this guy thought. He wanted someone to tell him, more than anything, that he hadn't done something heartless, thoughtless. If he asked Kaia, she would say that he was an idiot for thinking that way. She loved him, so even if he hurt her, she would never say so. And his father...he didn't even know what to think about that man. There was something wrong with him. Something had happened. He couldn't talk to his father, not anymore. 

But he didn't even know the person kneeling in front of him. He didn't need to. There were more important things. Cole clenched his jaw tightly, pulling away from this man. "It might already be too late." Too late for his relationship with Kaia. Too late for his father. Too late for Cole.

His life was so messy, so ugly. He hated it. He didn't know what to do. 

"Surely you don't feel that way now?" he asked shyly. He averted his eyes slightly, his face a little red, "I mean, this is a beginning." Something in Cole lurched forward, but he wasn't sure what it was or if it was a bad thing or a good thing. He wasn't sure if he liked that falling feeling, like he was being tugged towards something. He didn't know how to react, so he just didn't say anything for a bit. 

"No, this is an end," Cole finally said, standing up. It was true. The happy childhood he'd had had been slowly flickering out ever since his mother had died. With Kaia gone now, in a place where he didn't belong, what did he have left? A father who'd had a mental breakdown? "My...my sister is-" Cole felt a sting behind his eyes and swallowed again, trying to force them away. He still didn't want this guy to see him as weak. He didn't bother to ask himself why. 

"I don't belong here," Cole finally said, his words heavy in the air and in his chest. He felt icy all of a sudden, like someone had opened a window and snow had blown in, floating in the air around him and melting on his skin. It was the truth. He didn't belong with the wolves, and Kaia did. He could already tell. This was what had been calling her for years, despite their dad's wishes. Cole hated himself even more now. 

He hated that he couldn't belong here, too. 

Cole knew that he was running. He didn't really know what towards, but he knew what he was running from. 

But a painfully warm hand grabbed his arm and anchored him in place. "What do you mean? What Pack do you belong to? And what about your sister?" the stranger asked. So many questions he didn't want to answer. 

"It doesn't matter," Cole growled, pulling himself free and walking away. He didn't want to look back. He wasn't sure why, but he had a feeling that if he did, he wouldn't...

"It does! Talk to me!" The shout echoed a bit in the huge room. Cole wasn't sure why, but his feet wouldn't move. Why couldn't he just leave!? 

Cole whirled around, his hands in fists, "I don't even know you."

His eyes softened, a hint of fear in them. Cole felt a little sting in his chest, and winced. "But we'll get to know each other. I'll start. I'm Lionel..." Cole frowned. He hadn't asked. "Everything has to start somewhere. That somewhere is here, right now." 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Cole grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. This guy, Lionel, seemed a little weird. He was probably a wolf, right? But Cole wasn't afraid or angry the way his father was, maybe because of his father. He'd seen where that path leads. Instead, he just wanted to be left alone, whether or not this guy was a wolf. He just didn't need this. 

"Your sister," Lionel said, smiling a little. Cole wanted to run away again. "Begin there. What happened?" 

Cole looked away, squeezing his hands tighter around his own arms. He didn't want to answer this guy, but found the truth spilling out of him anyway. It felt amazing and horrible at the same time. "She's out of my reach now. I don't know if I'll ever see her again." Cole remembered her walking through those heavy doors, towards her future, "She's gone..." The angry spark came back and he stared at Lionel, "I don't know why I'm telling you this." 

"What do you mean? She's gone?" Lionel asked, concern in his eyes, approaching Cole again. Those eyes got closer and clearer and Cole felt like his back was against a wall. Cole's chest ached.

"That's what I'm trying to tell you. I don't belong here and she does," Cole admitted. He was sort of shocked. For some reason, he couldn't really lie to this guy. Maybe he just didn't want to? He realized in that moment how tired of lying he was. "You can probably put two and two together." 

"But you could belong here. I mean, you do. It doesn't matter what Pack you belong to, we can-" 

"Pack? What? I'm not in a Pack," Cole said. So this guy thought he was wolf. For some reason, Cole was worried that the look in those blue eyes would change when he realized the truth, that Cole was a Hunter. Even if he hadn't killed wolves, he'd come close before. Maybe even Lionel's friends, there was no way of knowing, really. It was just the way Cole had lived. 

Cole was right. The blood drained from Lionel's face and his eyes fluttered. He looked like he was going to lose his balance. "You're a rogue," he choked out. He looked like he was going to start crying. What the hell was going on in this guy's head? A couple words from him and he was on the verge of tears? They were strangers. Cole was a little weirded out, but it was also sort of endearing. He shrugged off that thought. 

"I'm not a wolf," Cole said sternly, dropping his arms. This, then, brought forth another wave of emotions from Lionel. He was pained, angry, and then, weirdly, relieved. At least, that's what it looked like. 

Cole watched as the gears ticked away in Lionel's head, spinning, getting stuck, starting up again. Finally, "Are you a Hunter?" He was shocked. 

Cole turned away. That shock had hurt for some reason. Why the hell was he feeling this way? He just wanted to run, to get away from all of this, to lie to himself and insist that things were the way they were supposed to be. Cole laughed, and the anguish in that sound surprised him. He didn't even know he could make such a sad sound. 

"A Hunter whose sister is a Luna. And not just any Luna. The Luna of the Prowlers, the most important Pack in the whole wolfy world," Cole said, and it sounded even more ridiculous when his words made it real. 

"You're Cole!?" Lionel shouted. Cole looked at him, surprised. 

He stared at Lionel for a little and shoved his hands in his pockets awkwardly. "I'm guessing Kaia told you about me?" But even Kaia hadn't know the full truth, had she? He'd been lying to her for a majority of both of their lives. He felt guilt weighed down every part of his body, but on top of that, he felt his skin warming for some reason. He looked up at Lionel and saw him staring. 

His blue eyes bore into Cole, and he felt like all of his vulnerabilities had been laid out in front of this man. Cole hated it, and he loved it. He caught himself. He loved it? What was he thinking? "Why are you looking at me like that?" His hands went back into his pockets and a strange tension built between his shoulder blades. He felt like he was burning, somehow. 

"Like what?" Lionel asked, clueless. Or was he? Was he doing this on purpose? 

Cole felt...strange, uncomfortable. Lionel's eyes were doing that thing again, that thing that made Cole feel like a different person. He felt strong and weak at the same time. That was why he felt so strangely about this guy. When Lionel looked at him, he was suddenly important. It was like under this stranger's gaze, he could stand on his own two feet, show the world that he was more than just that stranded child. It was more than the facade he'd always put up, of the strong Hunter, a badass who was the son of a badass; all of that had fallen apart now, hadn't it? This, right here, was genuine, though. He felt like energy was buzzing in his muscles, willing him to move. 

But at the same time, Cole wanted to collapse and cry. Those blue eyes knew his secrets, surely. They were so clear, there was no way they didn't. 

He felt, in that split second, both wanted and hated. Was that hate really there? Or was it just a part of Cole's imagination, his own self-hatred reflected in Lionel's eyes. Cole could almost see it.

"Like a little kid staring at the pile of presents under the Christmas tree." He wouldn't tell Lionel about the truth he saw in Lionel's eyes. He couldn't. So instead, he only spoke of what was on the surface. Because what he said had been true, if only part of the truth. 

Cole jumped a little when Lionel tilted his head back and laughed loudly. Cole's heart swelled. What the hell was happening? "What are you-" 

"I don't care!" He what? 

"What?" was all Cole could manage. 

"I don't care. I really don't. I can't. I don't have it in me," Lionel said. Cole's heart sank for some reason. He didn't care. Ok. Cole supposed he deserved that. 

He frowned, "I mean, that's kind of rude."

Lionel looked surprised, "No, I do care about your pain. Actually, so much that it hurts, but..." So much that it hurts? Wow. Cole hadn't expected that. Again, they were strangers. But still, Cole felt warm again. Lionel shook his head, "That's not what I mean. What I mean is that..."

There was a moment when Cole was just staring at Lionel, hopelessly confused about a hundred different things. What was going on? Then Lionel finally spoke again, his words carefully chosen, "Cole, have you ever felt so hopelessly lonely, like there's a hole in your heart? No matter what you do, you can't really fill it with anything?" 

Cole's chest did that stinging thing again. Lionel had definitely felt that way--Cole could tell by the look in his eyes--and Cole felt sad for him. But even more so, he had to admit to himself in that moment that he had definitely felt the same. He just remembered cold. He was too young to properly remember his mother. His father had always seemed closed off, distant in the wake of his loss. Kaia had been his one source of warmth, but even then, it was only ever a temporary fix because Cold had convinced himself--or maybe his father had convinced him--that Kaia needed to stay in the dark. With that wall between them, no matter how warm Kaia was, he always had to go back to his frigid loneliness. 

Lionel's words were so real and immediate, Cole found himself staring at Lionel again. He seemed closer all of a sudden, but Cole didn't mind. Lionel's expression was so strong. Cole barely knew him, but he had a feeling that Lionel was braver than Cole was or ever had been. 

"That's how I've felt my entire life," Lionel said, lowering his eyes a little bit, "Even surrounded by an ocean of love, there's this barren spot in my chest that is never happy enough. Maybe it's greedy or selfish, but it's not like I can do anything about it. It's just-" 

"A part of you," Cole finished, sighing. Cole felt the air around them still, and he wondered if Lionel did, too. This was the first conversation he'd ever had with this man and he seemed to understand Cole more than he understood himself. It was awkward and painful, yet reassuring. Cole just wanted to be with Kaia. Even if she was with him, she was far away. He just wanted to be kids with her again sometimes. He wanted to be able to rely on someone. 

Cole blinked. He wanted to be able to rely on someone. He'd never thought of it that way before. 

Cole stared at Lionel, but not really at him. He was stuck in his own head now, wondering if he knew anything about himself or if there was this whole person inside of him that had been trapped all these years. 

"I can't do anything about it, but you can," Lionel said, stirring Cole from his thoughts. Something tugged at Cole again, that sting returning to pierce him through. Cole felt like there was something he was missing, like the secret version of himself he'd only just realized might exist was whispering something to him. It was faint, but Cole had a feeling that he knew what it was. 

"I was in the woods," Cole started. He felt like it was hard to breathe for some reason. "I got this feeling. It was like a...pull. Something was drawing me into the forest." Cole closed his eyes briefly, remembering that feeling. It had stopped him in his tracks back then. He looked at Lionel again. Anger started to rise again, "So I went back. Time and time again. But nothing ever happened." 

And there it was, full fledged and burning uncontrollably. Cole was angry. He wasn't really sure why, but he was. At this guy, but also at his father, at the wolves, at Kaia, at himself. "Nothing ever happened, and my sister was abducted because I wasn't there to help her." 

Lionel face was pale. He suddenly seemed like a child, afraid and vulnerable. But Cole didn't care. He couldn't care. He had to ignore that whisper, the version of himself that felt guilty that he was taking his rage out on this man. The version of himself that just wanted to go to him, apologize, take his hand again. The version of himself that kept pulling him back. "It wasn't-" Lionel started, but Cole couldn't let him finish. 

"I don't know who you are, Lionel," or why I want to stay, apologize, keep talking to you, "But I do know one thing. That won't happen again." 

Lionel looked like he was about to start sobbing openly, "Your sister is safe, Cole. She's-"

"Not safe at all! She's mated to a wolf! She's a human. She doesn't know anything, and every day, every minute for her now is full of danger," Cole growled. It was the truth. He hated it and he blamed himself blindly. 

He was yelling at himself, in truth. There was more to this anger than just his inability to protect his sister. He was furious at the world for the lot he'd been given. 

"We'll protect her. She's our Luna. There's no way-"

"That's my job!" Cole shouted. He was breathing hard now. It was his job. It always had been, and he still wanted it to be. He did. But his thoughts from earlier rung loudly in his head, making his temples ache painfully. I want to rely on someone. 

Lionel's eyes were glassy now. Cole just felt angry. Angry, angry...angry. No, guilty. Cole clenched his hands into fists and took a deep breath. He spoke quietly, "I don't know what it is that you want from me. I don't know what I want other than to protect Kaia." And he didn't know why his heart hurt so much. Beyond missing his sister, he was being stabbed painfully by something else. 

He felt, somehow, like maybe he was making a mistake. And yet the part of him that was used to the cold insisted that he keep going. Cole had spent his life surrounded by winter, and Lionel's presence made Cole feel like he was on fire. It was dangerous, and he had to keep himself safe from that, from change. 

"Please," Cole breathed. His voice broke and he hated it. He felt weak again. "Just leave me alone." He couldn't look at Lionel anymore. Cole had to leave this place behind. He had to go, to let go, to give up. Maybe this is just how life was. Maybe he had been hoping for something that wasn't going to come. Maybe he'd been an idiot his entire life, thinking that there was, somewhere, warmth in the world. 

"I won't!" Cole stopped walking, clutching his tight chest. "I won't leave you alone!" Cole's knees were going to go out if he wasn't careful. What the hell? Alone? Those eyes had seen through him. And it only made him angrier. "I won't, because I owe it to you not to. Whether you like it or not, I saw the look in your eyes...you're missing something, and that something is me!" 

Excuse me!? Cole spun on Lionel. He was going to...what was he going to do? Punch the guy? Say something else unbearably cruel? He didn't know what to do any longer. But before he could even come up with something, Lionel slammed into Cole. He stumbled backwards in shock, barely keeping himself upright. 

"I don't care what nasty words you spew at me. I don't care how much you try to ignore it, how much the world tries to stop it, I know the truth. And I'll stand by it, because I can't bear to see you in pain and I can't stand another day of mine!" 

His angered had fizzled out. He was shocked, yes. But beyond that, he was a little bit in awe. Not a lot of what this guy said made sense. He was confusing. He didn't know how to feel about him in the slightest. Worse, the longer he spent near Lionel, the clearer the whispers became. He was on the verge of something, and it scared him. 

But Lionel was right about him. Cole wanted to hide his feelings, but he'd never been good at it. He never had been. And even now, Cole could feel his face heating up. His body was on fire, and he didn't know why. Fear coursed through Cole, hand in hand with another feeling Cole wasn't familiar with. But it was...warm. 

But Cole didn't know how to deal with that. So he ran away. He heard Lionel's voice call his name, and something churned inside of him, like it was stirring to life after sleeping for a long time. That crackly voice, slightly raspy yet still so gentle. Cole was afraid of it. Of Lionel. 

Of himself. Because...something was flickering to life, a tiny ember, and he wasn't sure he could keep it from burning him up. 

Sorry it's been so long, guys. But here's Cole POV of their first meeting! Please enjoy it, loves. Also, let me know what you thought. :) And sorry if there are any mistakes, I didn't have time to edit and I felt like you guys have waited long enough. 
More coming. I'm so excited for their relationship, tbh. These two are my precious boys, so please give them love (even if Cole is being stupid rn). ~M