Chapter # 43 "Realization"


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Baarish ki Boondon mai jhalakti hai us ki Tasveer...
Aaj phir Bheeg bethi usay Paany ki Chah mai...!

Hoor Hussain's POV

"According to your permission I did what you asked. Diary parh li hai mai nay or mai jaa raha hoon tumhaari zindagi say. I hope you will be happy by my decision. Tum azad ho Hoor. Allah hafiz take care."

These are his words he uttered when he came to hospital. I was so embarrassed that time that I didn't even tried to look at him. I stayed still laying in the bed.

My whole body was numb. There were drips providing glucose to my body. I really hate needles and for that time I was not able to remove any of the needle out that was pierced in my veins.

I was so weak to even move my head. My heart was thumping listening to his voice my all time heart favourite sound.

I was expecting him to that he will ask me about my health or he will be telling me that "Hoor you have done wrong. Don't you know I love you. You scared me. Or etc" but what he just said was that I am free.

I was sitting in the rain drenching from head to toe. I felt cold. But tears were not in a mood to leave me alone any time soon.

Baarish ka yehi faaida hai na kay insaan araam say ro layta hai. Koi pehchaan he nahi paata kay aansu kon say hein or baarish kay qatry kon say hein.

Raat mai barsaat ka barasna or teri yaad ka barasna....

HUM DUM!

Ab tu he bata mai kis mai bheegon "Barsaat" mai ya teri "Yaad" mai???

This poetry resembles my condition. Exactly the same condition as mine. Aah this rain reminds me of that time.

Woh Raat...

Hussain mai to kabhi soch he nahi sakti thi kay mera yeh khuwaab poora ho bhi paaye ga ya nahi.

Lekin...

Us din mera khuwaab poora hua tha. Us din un baahon ki panahoon mai thi mai.

I was secured that time. I never felt this much secured ever in my life.

Aisa lag raha tha kay jesy mai apni sahi manzil per aa gayi hoon. Aaj tak sirf bhatakti phir rahi thi mai lekin us waqt mai sahi raasty per thi. Mujhe meri manzil mil gayi thi.

Lekin mai nay yeh kiya ker diya?

Khud apny he haathon say sub tabah ker kay rakh diya mai nay. To kiyun ab sukoon mai nahi hoon. Bohat be chain si hoon. Kiyun akhir aisi halat hai meri.

Mai to jesy deewani ho gayi hoon.

That night I felt myself the most precious and deligate thing which he was using with much love, care and concern.

His touch was softer than rose petal. His kisses passionate. His love was my breathe that time.

His arms my support for life but his touch is no more here. Hir arms are not here to support me. His love is no more to carress me. His love is not with me to console me.

He himself is not with me.

I am no more secured. I am alone from now onwards for ever. How I'll be facing every one when the truth will reveal.

I am scared.

Covering my dupatta I tried to be save from cold but I started sneezing.

One
Two
Three
So on....

I'll catch cold soon if I being stubborn keep on sitting here drenching in this icey cold rain.

"Hoor what are you doing here outside. Oh my God you are drenched completely. Come inside hurry up. Beemaar ho jao gi." I heard mom scolding me standing in the door frame.

Baarish ki Boondon mai jhalakti hai us ki Tasveer...
Aaj phir Bheeg bethi usay Paany ki Chah mai...!

I really wanted to say that but could not feel myself able to speak in this way completely un understandable by mom.

"Coming." I only uttered much difficultly with chattering teeth.

Changing myself in my comfortable night clothes I was about to go to the bed when I remember some thing.

Diary!

Hussain came to hospital to gave my diary back to me. Opening my side table drawer I picked up the diary. Wearing my glasses I finally got a clear view.

Turning the pages I found nothing new in the diary.

Hussain nay saari to perh li hai yeh diary. Per un ko yeh mujhe waapis kerny ki zaroorat nahi thi.

I was flipping pages when a page with un known writting caught my attention. Looking at the page I started reading slowly.

"I never wanted to do this to you Hoor. Not at any cost Or not even in my wildest dream ever. You got me wrong in previous whole ten years.

I only deserved you and I even only deserves you because I only love you or you love me. Personallity never counts in front of love.

Love never sees how fair you are? How tall you are? How beautiful your features are?

No love never knows these stupidities. It happens with out knowing any thing like this.

Pyaar to yeh sub nahi jaanta. Pyaar to ho jaata hai na. Tum khud he btao kiya mai nay tum say shaadi ker kay kuch galat kiya?

Mai nay tum say pyaar kiya hai. Pyaar bheek nahi hota na he mujhe kisi nay tum say shaadi kerny per majboor kiya hai. Mai nay apni marzi say tum say shaadi ki hai.

Mohabbat bheek mai nahi di jaati samjhi tum Hoor Hussain Asif.

Kabhi khud ko meri nazron say dekho to pata chaly ga kay tum kitni haseen ho.

Those big glasses you wear are the most attractive thing. You look so innocent my love. You are pretty gorgeous. Stop thinking that you are ugly.

That day you got the whole thing wrong Hoor. I want to clearify.

" Aunty yeh Hoor kis per chali gai hai. Aap to itni pyaari hein or aap ka mizaaj bhi itna acha hai to yeh karaila kis per chala gaya hai?"

"Ab aap khud dekh layn kay woh mujh say kitni bad tameezi say baat kerti hai. Hala kay kitna bara hoon mai us say. Or mou per glasses he apny mou say baray lagaye rakhti hai. Kon karay ga aap ki beti say shaadi."

Do you think like this from the previous ten years? I was so shocked reading this childish statement of yours.

I saw you that day so I thought to tease you a little but I never knew you will take my joke in a different way.

Actually I was mimicking Fariya aunty as she kept on saying these words about you to which I ever use to calm her saying

"Aunty she is a child. Gave her a little space so she will grow up with out any tension. Abhi to bachi hai or aap ko abhi say he is ki itni tension hai. Let her do what ever she is doing. She'll be some thing some day and you'll be proud of her. You should be very proud of her. She is really a nice girl. She is intelligent and she is also well mannered. She behaves really nicely with sherry but in case of me she is reserved because it happens. Bachon ko kuch log pasand nahi hoty. Its clearly fine. About her get up she still looks pretty. Don't you have noticed her broad and intelligent eyes. She is exactly like her name. Beleive me she is a beautifull girl and you don't need to get worried about her rishta. She'll get the perfect match for her. May be his match is some where around."

I never knew that I am that match of yours. I am not really the perfect match because you want to get rid of me.

I thought to tease you that day only so I just said those words which your  mother spoke about you as she wanted you to be like her but you was not like her.

I never wanted to let you down but it was a joke. Its my mistake I have never done this to you.

I am really sorry for that day.

I wanted to tell you that I know you ever use to sit in your window watching me.

Yeh kabhi nahi pata tha kay tum wahan kiyun aati ho.

Or haan eik baat. You can never beat me in the matter of chaye. I am habbitual of taking four cups of tea in a singel day.

Or just one more thing.

Mohabbat kabhi bheek nahi hoti. Aindaa yeh bol ker mohabbat ki toheen mat kerna. Mujhe bhi tum say MOHABBAT hai lekin kabhi bheek mai nahi dena chahi mai nay yeh tumhein.

Haan dus saal pehly to shayad mujhe tum say mohabbat nahi hui lekin ab mai deewanon ki tarhan tumhein chahta hoon. Pagal bana diya hai tumhaari mohabbat nay. Lekin...

Shayad mai pyarr ko theek say nibha nahi paya tab he to tum mujhe chor dayna chahti ho.

Or tumhein shayad kabhi mujh per kabhi bharosa hua he nahi.

Yeh ishq nahi aasaan...
Bus itna samajh lijiye...
Ek aag ka darya hai...
Or doob kay jana hai...

Lekin tum to abhi say he thak gayi ho. Or aagy mera saath kesy nibha paao gi....

Tum azaad ho aaj say meri mohabbat say. Hussain apni mohabbat say azad ker raha hai aaj tumhein. Shayad isi mai tumhaari khushi hai.

Aaj kay baad kabhi bhi apni shakal nahi dikhaon ga tumhein. Tum Khush raho bus mai yeh chahta hoon."

What am I even reading? I was getting him wrong in previous ten whole years. I was getting him wrong.

I still remember that hug. He hugged me at our valima function. He was scared. He was really scared of loosing me.

Mai he pagal thi jo kabhi samajh na payi un kay pyaar ko. Yeh mai nay kiya ker diya khud apny he haathon say.

Getting up I ran down stairs. I stumbled un countable time but who cares. Reaching to mom dad's room I knocked on to the door.

Door opened and mom came rubbing her eyes. Baba also woke up and was now looking at me. Confusion evident from their faces.

"Mama baba mujhe jana hai." I uttered and mom asked glancing at the wall clock "Kahan jana hai raat kay is waqt. 2 bj rahay hein raat kay."

"Mama please mujhe abhi jana hai. Mujhe mere ghar jana hai. Mujhe Hussain kay paas jana hai."





3 days later.....

Hussain Asif's POV

I was standing in the balcony drenching from head to toe in the rain.

Its been four days of raining here in New York. There was a time I use to enjoy rain but what happened now.

I was listening to fm radio. Here came the voice of Rj Syed Ali. He is the person who is obsessed with the radio station that he still is there and on air doing his favourite show.

"Hello Assalam o Aliakum. Kesy hein aap? What's your name?" He asked the boy on the call. His tone chirping as usual.

Cherry on top was the effect of this romantic weather. He seems to be so fresh.

"Walaikum Assalam Ali bhai I am fine. Pehchana mujhe?" The guy on the other side asked him with a suspecious tone and I smiled recognizing the person.

Tumhein kesy bhool sakta hoon yaar.

"Mmmmm.... Let me guess. Thora thora sa yaad aa raha hai. Wait.... Poora yaad aa gaya. Itny din baad kesy yaad ker liya Hammad Hassan right?" Ali spoke. I can imagine him smilling and a sweet smile made its way to my lips.

He is still the same.

"Yeah you guessed it right. I am Hammad. Its been a long time we met. Well let me praise you first. Your show is going awesome as ever but aaj to baat he kuch or hai. Is it the effect of weather or some thing else?" Hammad asked and he laughed slowing the back ground music down.

Back ground music was very familiar. It was some indian romantic song combo of sad lyrics related to rain.

Oh I guess it was...

Is dard e dil ki sifaarish ab ker day koi yahan...
Kay mil jaaye isay woh baarish jo bhiga day poori tarhan...

"Oh thanks for praising Hammad. Well there is no special reason. Don't you think this weather has a great effect on every one's mood. So what about today's topic. You want to share your views about 'MOHABBAT AND BAARISH' in any form." Ali asked him and he gave a short laughter in reply.

"Ali bhai mohabbat or baarish ki baat ho rahi hai to hum zaroor kahyn gay. Eik poetry ho jaye phir agar aap ki ijazat ho to.." he asked for the permission from Ali and guess what. Permission granted. He being an ashiq since he was in his teen age.

A girl dumbed him and he is still single thinking every girl is the same.  So he started uttering the words perfectly in a perfect shaayar tone about the topic.

Suna hai baarish usay bhi pasand hai...
To woh bhi bheegti hogi baarish mai ...
Apni hathaili phailaye baarish kay qatroon ko chairti hogi khoob...
Woh sanwali si larki khoob nikharti hogi baarish mai naha kay...
Jub bhi baarish barasti hai mujhe yaad aati hai woh pagli...
Jo kehti thi deewani hoon mai tumhaari...
Kahan gayi woh pagli, deewani woh khoob chahny waali...
Laga ker jo mujh ko galy say puchti thi???
TUM chor to na do gay mujhe???
Apna mou mor to na lo gay yun???
Aaj bhi us kay Alfaaz kanoon mai goonjty hein...
Yaad hai uska lams aaj bhi mujhe...
Per bus ab uski yaadein hein...
Na jaany woh khud hai kahan???
Mujhe Tanha chor ker...

His poem was complete and that made me step in the memories again. The clouds roared in the sky and it started raining more heavily.

Jis sub say bach raha tha. Woh phir say yaad aa gaya. Eik haftay say zeda ho gaya hai is sub ko. Or yeh dus din eik sadi say barh ker tha mere liay. Baaki ki zindagi kesy guzar paye gi.

I felt that some one is fisting my heart. It hurted so badly that for a moment I almost forgot to even breathe.

Hoor look what have you done? What have you done to me???

I don't know for how long I was there standing still thinking about the mess my life was in now a days.

I don't even know the remaining conversation of Ali and Hammad but it was now ended. I was so lost to even listen to them. Back ground song was playing making my wounds to bleed now.

Why these poets know the up coming conditions of a lost man. The person who lost his battle of love. The person whose heart is broken.

How they are easily able to portray the condition of person with broken heart with such suit able words.

Kiya hua asar tere saath reh ker na jaany kay hosh mujhe na raha...
Lafz mere the zubaan pay aa kay ruky per ho na saky woh bayan...
Dharkan tera he naam yeh lay saansein bhi paigaam yeh dayn...
Teri nazar ka he yeh asar hai mujh pay jo hua...
Milny ko tujh say bahany kerun tu muskuraye wajah mai bano...
Roz bitana saath mai tere sar din mera...
Is dard e dil ki sifaarish ab ker day koi yahan...
Kay mil jaaye isay woh baarish jo bhiga day poori tarhan...

The song ended and the show also but rain doesn't stopped wetting me. I don't know why but this rain is not calming me.

Its not relaxing.

My inside is now burning with increased intensity.

Getting in the room I quickly changed myself into a warm night wear and rushed towards the kitchen.

Robert was cleaning dinner dishes. Seeing me he asked " Sir you need some thing?" I smiled shooking my head and he did the same.

Turning back to his work he again looked at me as I was gathering the stuff for making tea for myself.

"Sir I'll make tea for you. You need rest so go to bed and I'll bring tea for you in just five minutes." He said all sweetly like an uncle.

Yeah he is an old person of around 60 age. He has been the care taker of our New York house since almost twelve years.

When ever we came to New York we stay at our own house so as I am staying here from a whole week.

"No robert I'll make it by my own. Tell me if you also need it? It'll be an honour for me to make tea for you too. Its the only thing I can make and no one can compete me as I make the world's best tea you know." I flaunted the same dialogue as ever and he laughed shooking his head in a no.

So getting back to work I made a cup of tea for me and came back to my room. Taking a sip from it I settle down in the bed opening the laptop I started working on it.

A few moments passed when I heard my phone viberating. Keeping the cup on side table I picked my mobile phone and glanced at the screen to know what I got.

It was a text message from Farooq uncle confirming tommorrow's meeting time and venue.

Reading the text I was about to switch off the mobile when I remembered that sherry is still angry on me. He is still upset that why I left Houston and Hoor.

Touching at the wrong place I opened my phone gallery mistakenly. The first image I saw was of her.

Our valima day when we were sitting together and I was happy. Instead I was feeling my self the happiest person of this world. Who am I now???

The un luckiest person of this whole world???

She was looking breath takingly gorgeous that day. Her shyness is the icing on cake.

Sharam o haya to khoobsoorti ko chaar chaand laga deti hai. Eik larki  kay liay behtreen zaiwar hai us ki  sharam.

Swipping the screen here came the photo I clicked at the time I was giving her mou dikhai. That photo was showing Hoor's expressions clearly.

In first photo her face expressions were hillarious as her eyes were wide open. She was looking like I am beating her and she will start crying any time soon.

In the second photo her eyes were closed at that time and she was looking adorable. She was calm and relax.

The second photo I took at the time she was un aware but in the first photo she was well aware of my tricks. My face was hidden in both pictures. Only Hoor was visible.

Closing the gallery I controlled my self from thinking any furthur.

In kuch dinon mai jitna tumhein socha hai mai nay Hoor shayad kabhi zindagi mai kabhi kisi ko socha ho.

Shooking all my thoughts away I picked up my mobile switching it on once again.

Dialling his number I waited for him to pick up. On the fourth bell I heard Haya's voice "Hey chachoo how are you? I am angry with you? Aap mujh say mily bagair chally gaye. Haya aap say baat nahi ker rahi jaayen katti aap say."

I smiled at her childish behaviour. I can imagine her swelled face. Her voice is telling me how upset she is with me.

"Ary chachoo ki jaan kaam tha. Is liay jaldi say aa gaya. Aap ko btany ka moka he nahi mila. Acha jaldi say btao kay meri princess ko kiya chahye?" I tried to lighten her mood but she was in no mood to listen.

So she again complained "you are too bad and this time I am not going to forgive you at any cost. ARE YOU LISTENING? I AM NOT FORGIVING YOU AT ANY COST." She gave stress on every word she uttered and I felt helpless.

"Haya give me the mobile. I need to talk to chachoo." I heard Wafa saying on the other side.

Wafa is five minutes elder than Haya but seems she is five years elder than her in maturity. She is a very judicious and soft natured girl but Haya is a very care free and naughty kind of girl.

"Chachoo aap is ki baat ka bura naa maanyn yeh to hai he pagal. Acha aap yeh btayen kay aap kesy hein? Or waapis kab tak ayen gay? I am missing you and every one else is missing you here." Wafa stated all calmly.

Every one else is missing me. Who else is missing me? There is a hint in her tone. Is she trying to tell me or pointing towards some thing I don't know.

"I am fine wafii my angel. What are you talking about? Who else is missing me?" I asked a little suspecious and she started telling me about the persons missing me.

"Bary abu, bari ami, Mama, Papa, Haya, baby Shaheer, Maha phupo, and me. Wait there is another person missing you much more than we are missing you. Its a very dear person of you and its...." her sentence incomplete and I felt more suspecious this time because sherry started taunting me from the other side.

"Wafa don't tell your chachoo about us missing him. Your chachoo is not going to realize it any time soon and I am warning you don't tell him about the rest. Ja sain tujhe humein chor ker jana tha na to tu chala gaya. Ab mujhe phone na kerna..." with that it completely went quiet. The line got dis connected and I was standing here stupidly gawking at the mobile screen.

What is he talking about?

Dialling his number again I waited for him to pick up but the bell kept on ringing and no one picked the call up this time.

I tried many times but no one was picking up the call and I know sherry is doing this on purpose. He is still angry on me.

I finally gave up and threw my mobile on the bed I kind of fell on the bed feeling helpless plus hopeless this time. I am not even having his support this time. How I'll survive.

Yaar sherry na naraaz hua ker aisy. Mai to pehly he sukoon mai nahi hoon sirf tera he sahara tha tu bhi ab mujh say naraaz ho jaye ga to mera kiya hoga???

Quickly getting up I dialled Hareem's number and she picked it up on the exact first bell as if she was expecting this to happen.

She might be waiting for my call.

"Hello Hareem is every thing okay?" I asked tensed and she gave me a short reply including three words only.

"She is fine."

What the hell every one is thinking? Mai yahan Hoor ki wajah say aya hoon?

"Hareem this is rude now." I stated helplessly and she gasped on the other side.

After a few moments she replied saying " Devar ge I was only telling you what you wanted to know. Its been a week you left from here and you didn't even contacted once to ask if we all are fine or not. Hoor was the only important person in your life thats why you are not here. You don't care whether we live or die. Its non of your business I know..."

She was about say further but I shut her up saying "Hareeeem what are you even saying? Do you have any idea?"

With that line got dis connected again. What are they even doing? I am so confused.

Pehly to kabhi aisa nahi hua kay koi mujh say itna naraaz hua ho. Pehly kabhi Hoor bhi to nahi thi na meri life mai.

What am I even thinking?

Sub ko galat saabit kerna he pery ga. I'll leave for Houston tommorrow after meeting.

Grabbing my suit case I started packing my stuff and after doing so its time to sleep. Don't know why my sixth sense is again alerting me to get ready for some un expected stuff coming on my way.

Shehryaar Asif's POV

I was so damn up set with him.

"Koi apny bhai kay saath bhi aisa kerta hai kiya yaar." I stated still making sad face. When Hareem came sitting on the bed besides me and pinched my cheek.

"Mere pyaary patti dev ab drama kerny ki zaroorat nahi hai phone band ho chuka hai. I bet you that Drama Queen brother of your will be on his way right now." She said almost bestifying me.

Did she just called me dramy baaz?

I glared her saying " Abhi nahi aye ga woh itna pagal bhi nahi hai. Farooq uncle say baat hui hai. He was giving detailed report of him and he also told me about tommorrow's meeting. That real important meeting. So may be he will be here after attending that meeting."

"What ever you say but I bet you. Wo aye ga zaroor kiyun kay woh bohat pyaar kerta hai hum sub say. Or Hoor bhi to hai na ab." She flaunted and gave me naughty looks.

"Chalo maan liya ab yeh btao kay.." I left the sentence in complete and she looked at me confusingly. I did it on purpose to tease her.

I know the suspecious nature of her very well.

"Kay kiya??? Btayen na?" She asked suspeciously and I controlled my laughter not to escape or else I'll be grounded.

"Yehi kay eik pappi to banti hai begum. 2 din ho gaye hein you didn't even kissed me once." I stated in a matter of fact tone and her eyes widened.

Before she could step back or utter any thing I snaked my arm around her waist to prevent her from escaping.

Slowly leaning forward I kissed the corner of her lips and she closed her eyes. She still blushes like I am kissing her for the first time.

Holding her face with my one hand I slowly pecked her lips. I was about to kiss her when the alarm started ringing.

I am talking about my baby Shaheer. He is seriously a loud clock alarm. When ever I try to come close to Hareem.

Bajna shuru ho jaata hai aisy jesy is ki maa ko chair diya ho mai nay. Wait! Is ki maa ko he to chaira hai mai nay.

Lol...

Hareem got separated from me jerking her away as she got an electric shock.

Kiya kismat hai yaar meri.





To be continued...

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Fe aman Allah.....

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