Jenny's POV

Rolling over the soft metres I pulled the shits over my shivering body as I sobbed.

Another pair of tears rolled down wetting my pillow.

sniffing silently, I made sure no one gets to know about my feeble cries of pain that have been going on since the moment I woke up due to a hangover.

I was having the best sleep of my life, until I had started to feel as if someone was hitting me on my head with a hammer.

What can be worse than waking up with a headache ?

As I woke up I realised it's not my bedroom, I was lying on Amaria's bed and when I questioned why I'm sleeping on her bed instead of mine the last night incidents came into picture ruining my peace.

I never thought Cabir would stoop so low just because I was happy in front of him.

isn't the same guy who once told me that he will do anything just to see my smile of happiness?

isn't he the same guy who promised me that he will keep me happy at any cost ?

Then why ? Why can't he digest the fact that I can be happy without him?

I feel stupid, for trusting him, for choosing him, and for letting him be a part of my life.

another pair of tears rolled down making my vision blur.

I wanted to hit myself for falling in love with Cabir. How could I be so blind ? Was I that desperate to get into a relationship ? He could be the worst person I have ever met in my life, and there was a time when I used to think that Cabir was the best thing that ever happened to me ? Seriously ? What kind of drug am I on ?

there was a time when i had to pretend like i'm a happy soul girl, i had to pretend my smile, my happiness and joy. everything just because he was a moron, who couldn't digest the equality i asked for in our relationship, just because he was an asshole who couldn't keep his dick in his pants during parties. He cheated on me, it was hard for me to believe. but i knew the truth was in front of my eyes and yet i was searching for an escape because i loved him nevertheless we broke when i confirmed with him about that. He told me that he didn't want me anymore, so easy for him to say!

I cried but didn't plead with him to take me back. After all, I respect myself and I knew I was not at fault. If a cheater, abuser like him can take a stand for himself, then why can't I ? Of course I slapped him hard on his face and left.

I didn't know that pretending happiness would be so easy until Cabir came into my life. After the ugly break up I was divested, the guy I trusted and believed betrayed me. The guy, who had promised me that no matter what comes but he will never leave me, had just left me for another girl.

For a few days I avoided people, because I didn't know how to face them when I used to boast about Cabir and my togetherness in front of the same people who would pass a mocking smile after knowing that we're not together anymore. I was ashamed to face them. so I started to pretend like the break up didn't bother me at all, I began to put on a mask of a smile as if I'm the happiest girl alive on the earth. People were surprised to know, they were not ready to see me doing good in my life, of course they would have prepared a bunch of advice and suggestions of depression for me, nevertheless I came out of my shell of cowardness by putting a brave smile on my face.

Since the fake smile of mine burned so many asses of people who thought I would be shading tears in front of them, I made the fake smile permanent. I began to pretend to be happy, and I knew eventually I would forget that I was pretending and will accept the reality of life.

How easy is it to make everyone believe the fake smile right ? I didn't know that the fake smile would appear on my face effortlessly, I didn't know that it's very easy to make people around me believe that I'm living the best life then anyone can. but anyway, I've moved on from Cabir long ago. As I hoped, I kept pretending to be happy until one day I woke up and realised that I've not cried in a while thinking of him. I stopped remembering him while listening to songs that we used to listen to together. My coffee started to taste better without him, I smiled at sunrises without him being beside of me. and his name didn't hurt me anymore.

when the silence didn't hunt me with his memories and voice playing in my head but instead the silence became my comfort, and i knew i'm over with him. I moved on.

" Jen"

I immediately whipped off my tears as I heard the faint voice of maya.

***

driving back to home i got a call from dad asking for me, i told him that i'm on the way. thanks to maya who informed him last night that i'm staying in with her. otherwise dad would have been worried for me.

And to be honest, after last night I don't even want to talk about Cabir anymore. Last night he broke the last string that still had me connected with him, he broke my hope that I had on him. I thought he couldn't get any worse than he was before. All this while I thought, he made a mistake in his life by cheating on me and soon he will realize that and he would try to be a better person but fuck him, he just got more filthy and moron.  Never knew he had such a crooked mind, anyway I'm glad that now I can hate him without feeling even an ounce of  sympathy for him.

gazing at the roads I felt light, thanks to maya who made me drink lemon juice,which helps reduce my hangover. Although she doubted if I was crying by seeing my sore face, I covered up well, saying that I'm just tired from last night.

my intention was not to hide everything from her, i do wanted to tell her about the molestation i faced last night by my ex. but later i realised that it would only create worries and guilt for her, she would feel guilty for encouraging me to dance in front of Cabir and i don't want her to feel bad. Plus I was too cranky to have any deep conversation with her in the morning. Perhaps, someday I'll share these things with her while having chill beers on the rooftop.

While leaving Amaria's flat I got a call from dad. He offered me a day off if I was still tired. But I refused and told him that I would be present at the office in the next thirty minutes. I need to rush and reach home as soon as possible, and then have to take a bath because I'm smelling like alcohol. After changing into office attire I also have to pick some files from the study room before leaving for the office.

Rushing the drive, I pulled out my phone from the handbag with one hand while my other hand was still on steering.

Checking the notification I glanced here and there, I noticed a white kerchief peeping out of my bag.

Grabbing it out from the bag, I held it close. As far as I remember, I don't use white kerchief and this must be some man's kerchief.

Narrowing my eyebrows, I tried to recall last night, if I forgot any important part of last night.

It took a wild moment for me to pressure my mind to recall every single bit of last night. And when i ddi “Ohh shit,” I said to myself. 

It waa a man, but who was he ? What did I do with him?

heck why I'm not remembering what happened after i kicked kabir on his balls?

Was I too drunk last night ? Maybe.

Massaging my temple, I tried to recall what happened after that, but nothing came into my mind. It was like my mind felt empty after that particular incident.

Restlessly tapping my fingers on steering wheel, I was thinking if I guffed or behaved stupid in front of that unknownman.

Fuck the vodka.

***********************************

A/N

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