Forewords

Note: BOYxBOY Fic. Please Exit if Offended.

♥♥

"When have you ever seen a happily-ever-after between two individuals who don’t even breathe the same air? Hell! I don’t even breathe! I’m dead!"

♥

"Who has your heart?"

"I do."

♥♥

Main Characters:

Park Yoochun

Kim Junsu

Minor Characters:

Kim Jaejoong

Jung Yunho

Shim Changmin

♥♥

A/N:

1. This story will involve a Triangle between Yunho, Jaejoong, and Changmin. The problem is: will it be [YunJaeMin] or [JaeHoMin]? I owe some people both...

So I'm going to do what I did for 'Blind':

[YunJae and JaeMin in which Jae needs to choose Yun OR Min] - LiveJournal [http://micah88.livejournal.com/]

[YunJae and HoMin in which Yunho needs to choose Jae OR Min] - Winglin [www.winglin.net/fanfic/Micah10]

(Basically, JaeMin fans read at LJ and HoMin fans read at Winglin. :D)

Please stick to only one to avoid CONFUSION because Yunho and Jaejoong will be switching character/roles in each version.

2. For this story, I have all intentions for readers to dislike Junsu's Character.

3. Thank You! ♥♥

Chapter 1

“What are you doing?”

“Were you there? Did you see how pretty the whole thing was?”

“It was okay. Why?”

“I want to have a party like that too. It was so pretty!”

The taller boy turned his head to look at their surroundings. Other people were still standing in front of the church taking pictures with the newlyweds while he and this shorter kid were hiding on the other side of the large building.

“You can have your pretty party,” the taller boy suggested.

“Really?” the shorter boy’s eyes were shining.

The taller boy took the shorter boy’s hand and walked him over to a tall tree. He removed his black suit jacket and hung it on a branch. Then he tugged the shorter boy so that they both stood side by side in front of the tree.

“This will be the guy wearing that black dress.”

“The guy was wearing a dress?” the shorter boy blinked in shock.

“Close enough,” the taller boy shrugged. He tried to play ventriloquist and repeated whatever words he remembered hearing during the grand wedding ceremony.

The shorter boy giggled. “Are you done yet?”

“‘Blah, blah, blah, now you can give each other shiny rings.’”

The shorter boy looked around them. “We don’t have shiny rings,” he pouted sadly.

The taller boy knelt down to pick up some long strands of grass around the tree’s stump. He took a minute to weave the strands of grass into a ring.

“There!” he presented it to the shorter boy. “This one is even better because it’s green!”

The shorter boy laughed and clapped happily. “Let’s finish my pretty party!”

The taller boy stood back up and they stood side by side again. He slipped the ring onto the shorter boy’s finger.

Then he tapped at his cheek with an index finger to try to remember what happened after the exchanging of rings.

“Now what?” the shorter boy asked.

“I remember more talking, ‘Blah, blah, blah’ and then…” he thought hard to remember. Then he snapped his fingers. “Oh, yeah! He said, ‘You may kiss the bride’ or something.”

“Oh, okay, am I the bride?”

“Sure,” the taller boy shrugged. He leaned in to give the shorter boy a quick peck on the lips. “There! You just got your own pretty party!”

“Wait, wait, isn’t there another last line?”

The taller boy tried to remember. When he finally remembered, he said, “The tree now pronounces us ‘man and wife’.”

The shorter boy giggled. “But how does that work? You’re not a ‘man’. You’re just a ‘kid’ like me.”

“Oh,” the taller boy murmured. “I guess we’ll play this again when I’m old enough to be a ‘man’.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Sure.”

“Okay! Pinky square!”

The taller boy wondered if it was ‘pinky square’ or ‘pinky swear’. Who cares.

Their little pinkies connected and a promise was made.

They heard the sound of car engines and ran back to the front of the church. People were beginning to leave.

“I see my parents. I have to get going. Bye!”

“Wait, wait, what’s your name?”

♥♥

“Are you going to give me the money or not?” the young man demanded rudely.

“Junsu, please…” his mother sighed tiredly.

“I want to go to Japan!”

“Junsu, it’s for the best if you stay in Seoul with us,” the elder woman tried to convince her son.

“I never get to go anywhere fun!”

“Junsu, your health…”

“That’s the problem! I had to have the bad luck to be cursed with this stupid disease! I can’t go anywhere far and I can’t do anything fun!” complained the young man who owned nearly every materialistic item he’d ever wished for.

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s your entire fault! Well, if I’m going to die young anyway, then I might as well have fun while I’m still alive!”

“Please, don’t say that. You won’t die young,” his mother tried to convince herself. She bit her lower lip because it hurt to imagine that her son could die any hours, minute, second.

“I’d rather die young than be trapped in Seoul for the rest of my life!” he shouted loudly before turning his back on his mother and running out of the room.

He ran out of the mansion and to the yellow Mustang. From the corner of his eye, he saw the bodyguards preparing to follow him; those stupid bodyguards that his parents had hired to stick to him like glue just in case Junsu’s heart would suddenly stop functioning and needed to be sent to the hospital.

Junsu mumbled a curse and revved up his car. He stomped on the gas pedal and drove out of the large parking lot that held the other eight expensive vehicles his parents had bought him.

This wasn’t fair. Why him, of all people? Why did he have to be born with this heart disease? Why did he have to be trapped in a boring place like Seoul because his parents worried too much? Why did they have to tie him down and prevent him from enjoying life?

Junsu looked in the rearview mirror to see the two vehicles that followed him. He mumbled a curse at the bodyguards and sped up.

He rolled down his windows and turned the radio up to full volume, causing the compartment to vibrate with every beat. He saw the people in the vehicles next to his own; covering their ears and rolling up their own windows to avoid the invading ruckus coming from Junsu’s car.

Junsu rolled his eyes at the idiots who did not share his interest in loud music and continued to drive.

Then the disturbing feeling in his chest started to bother him again. It’d happen for a few seconds when he’d woken up this morning, but went away as fast as it came. Now it was happening again.

Maybe if he ignored it, it’ll go away again.

So Junsu ignored it and continued to drive, turning into a larger street where more cars were in his way.

Junsu gasped when the third pang hit him. One hand clutched at the cashmere that covered his chest and his eyes narrowed. One hand gripped tightly onto the stirring wheel. It was getting hard to breathe.

He began to gasp for air and couldn’t concentrate on the road. He heard honking and the hand on the wheel began to shake uncontrollably. But he couldn’t feel anything in his other hand, only numbness. He couldn’t feel his legs either!

No! Not now! Not like this!

He’d been normal for the past two years. Why now? Why this? Why him?

Honking, he heard honking.

What were his legs doing? He couldn’t control his legs! He couldn’t feel them!

His vision began to blur from the lack of oxygen and he lost the strength to grip, the wheel and his shirt.

Honking, screeching, crashing.

His body went limp and he lost himself to darkness, perhaps even to the embrace of Death.

♥♥

Junsu blinked once; blinked twice. Then he closed his eyes again because it was so much easier.

He tried to move his body, but only managed to move his fingers.

“He’s waking up! I’ll go get the doctor!”

“Junsu! Junsu! Can you hear me?”

Junsu frowned a little at the voices for intruding his rest.

Wait, was he asleep? For how long? Why did he feel so groggy?

But…wasn’t he supposed to be dead? The last thing…the last thing he remembered was driving…and then it happened. The curse that had haunted him since his birth happened, ready to take his life, once and for all.

Was he dead?

“Junsu!” came his mother’s sob.

Junsu finally felt the small hands that covered his own hand. He gained better control of his body and it was easier to keep his eyes open this time. He saw his parents.

“Where am I?” he tried to say, but it came out sounding hoarse and dry, as if he hadn’t used his voice in a long time.

“Sweetie, don’t worry, you’ll be fine. The surgery was a success.”

His vision stopped blurring and he saw his mother’s crying eyes as she held his hand against her cheek.

“Surgery?”

“I’ll explain it to you later. Just know that you’ll be okay.”

Chapter 2

“I’ll explain it to you later. Just know that you’ll be okay.”

Junsu nodded weakly, too tired to do anything else…except…

“I’m hungry. I want French fries and fried chicken wings.”

“Honey, you’re still recovering from the surgery. You can’t eat such greasy…”

“I want French fries and fried chicken wings,” Junsu repeated, ignoring the warning.

“You should lay off the unhealthy food that could clog your arteries,” came a male voice. Junsu squinted to see the man in the white lab coat. He immediately recognized the man as the annoying doctor who’d treated Junsu ever since he was born.

“They’re my arteries,” Junsu retorted rudely.

“Junsu…” his mother murmured, wanting to tell him not to be rude.

The doctor was too used to Junsu’s attitude to care. He simply countered, “It’s not your heart.”

“What?” Junsu’s brows furrowed.

“You should be thankful for the organ beating in your chest right now. Being ‘thankful’ doesn’t include destroying its weak state with greasy, fried food.”

Junsu moved his hands to lift his top (his parents had brought him pajamas instead of making him wear those cheap hospital outfits, thankfully) and saw the scar on his chest.

So that was what his mother meant when she said ‘Surgery’.

“You finally found a heart for me?”

“We should be very grateful for our luck!” his mother said.

“Wasn’t I driving? Is my car okay?” Junsu demanded.

“Your vehicle was rear-ended, but it’s okay as long as you’re safe. Several other vehicles were damaged, but our lawyer will take care of it,” his father explained.

“Then what happened?”

“You were taken to the hospital and attached to a machine for days because your own heart was too weak. Luckily, after you were in a coma for two days, we received news that a transplant was available for you,” his father explained. “The donor…he died in a vehicle accident. We must find out who he is so we can thank his friends and family…and pay respect at his funeral.”

“So I’m okay now? I’ve got a healthy heart like any other person?” Junsu was more interested in himself.

“You’ll need to be on a restricted diet for several months, but we won’t have to worry about your heart problem anymore,” his mother was so happy that she was crying again.

“Then I can go to Japan!” Junsu was now conscious enough to sit up on his own, even grinning widely.

The doctor frowned at his selfish attitude.

♥♥

“Junsu, we found out that the donor was in a vehicle accident with a friend. His friend is still in the hospital recovering from injuries. We should go visit him and maybe we’ll be able to thank his fam…”

“You two go. I still need to rest,” Junsu mumbled, tugging the blanket up to cover his neck.

“Junsu, please,” Mrs. Kim touched her son’s shoulder.

“I’m tired. The doctor told me to rest more. You two go. Buy them something expensive or give them lots of money,” Junsu brushed off.

“Junsu, we owe them…”

“I didn’t kill the guy. I just happened to be next in line and he chose to donate his body after his death…on his own free will.”

Mr. and Mrs. Kim exchanged sad glances.

“Okay, you rest well then.”

Junsu closed his eyes and heard the door close.

Finally! He was alone again!

He grabbed the PSP from the drawer and turned it on. Snuggling happily under the soft blanket (that his parents had specially brought in for him because hospital blankets were made of cheap material) and played his favorite video game.

Junsu eventually fell asleep and the game was left to run on its own. The music continued to play and the light illuminated the side of Junsu’s face, blue light on white skin. It was the only light in the room because the moonlight had been blocked out by the closed curtains.

The light from the lamp had suddenly shut off on its own. Junsu’s closed eyes did not allow him to see this.

Junsu unconsciously curled up into a ball under the blanket because it suddenly felt cold.

Then came that uneasy feeling that wouldn’t let him sleep. He was awake again, but his eyes remained closed.

He heard the creak of the opening door and wondered why it never sounded this eerie before. He tried to listen for footsteps, but heard none. All humans have audible footsteps don’t they? Don’t they?

Those nurses who checked up on him at night always had footsteps!

Junsu began to shake and it definitely wasn’t because of the cold.

His heart was beating fast. Well, it wasn’t exactly his own heart…

Was the original owner of this heart coming back to get him? Coming back from the DEAD!

Why? Why? Why? Why him? Junsu had never done anything bad in his life! He didn’t deserve to be haunted or frightened to death when he was only beginning to really LIVE.

No, no, no, please no.

Eyes still closed, Junsu pulled the blanket over his head and pretended to be sleeping.

Was it a nurse? Or even that annoying doctor! It didn’t matter. Just let it be human!

Junsu felt the light pressure on his shaking hand (from the other side of the blanket). He flung his arms all over the place and curled up in a ball on one end of the bed, eyes still closed.

“Don’t kill me! Don’t kill me! I’m sorry! I’ll go visit your family! I’ll buy them whatever they want! I’m too young to die!”

At this moment, the lamp’s light suddenly flickered on again to illuminate the room.

“I think you’ve mistaken…” came the angelic voice.

Junsu noted that he was still breathing and alive. So he opened one eye and looked at the…thing standing next to the hospital bed.

Beautiful.

Junsu’s eyes were on the intruder’s face and his jaw dropped at how pretty the façade was. Maybe he wasn’t a ghost. Maybe he was an angel.

Right! He’d donated his body organs to save other people. Maybe he’d been taken to Heaven after his death!

“You’re an angel?” Junsu questioned.

“Actually, I’m a human,” the pretty person pointed out.

“Human?” Junsu blinked stupidly. “But…no footsteps and…so pretty.”

The other man looked like he wasn’t sure if that was a compliment. So he decided to explain the first factor, “My friend and I used to play a lot of games together. We used to pretend to be Ninjas when we were younger and we liked to sneak up on each other so…it became a challenge to practice the art of silent footsteps.”

Junsu saw that beautiful, but sad smile when the intruder talked about his friend.

“You’re here because of your friend?” Junsu guessed.

Junsu saw the other man stare at his chest for a moment before glancing back up to meet Junsu’s eyes. With a sincere smile, he said, “Yes, and I apologize for scaring you.”

Junsu held his chin up and tried to act brave. “I wasn’t scared. I was ready to fight you off if you really were a ghost.”

The other man just smiled politely. “How are you feeling?”

Junsu knew that he was asking about the surgery. “Really good. Since you’re here, then I might as well thank you. And uh… thank your friend’s family for me.”

“Don’t you think it would be more proper for you to thank them on your own?”

“Um…I’m going to be out of town as soon as I get out of the hospital. I’ll be in Japan for a while and then I’m going to other places too!” Junsu grinned. “Besides, my parents said that they’ll do all the thanking and visiting for me.”

“Oh…” the other man murmured, eyes shifting around the room. “Well, I should get going and leave you to rest. I just…happened to have a dream about my friend and suddenly felt the urge to come see you.”

He turned to leave and Junsu wondered why he didn’t notice the hospital clothes on the beautiful man in the first place; probably because of that distracting face.

“Wait, wait, what’s your name?” Junsu was now sitting cross-legged on the bed rather than curled up in a frightened ball.

The man stopped at the door and turned around to answer, “Kim Jaejoong.”

“Cool! I’m a ‘Kim’ too! It’s such a common name! Was your friend a ‘Kim’ too?”

“No, ‘Park’. His name is…was ‘Park Yoochun’.”

Junsu saw the look on the pretty face and wondered if the man wanted to continue to talk about his deceased friend.

“Do you…want to talk about it?” Junsu suddenly felt the need to offer because the guy looked so miserable. This wasn’t a normal offer for Junsu, it really wasn’t. He’d probably never do this again.

“It’s tough. It hurts to remember, but at the same time, I fear that not talking about him will make me forget.”

“It hurts to remember, but it also hurts to forget,” Junsu murmured, surprised that he could understand what this pretty man was saying.

“Yes, and thank you very much for your offer. Perhaps another time. Take care, Junsu.”

Junsu blinked for a moment. Something was bothering him as he watched the door begin to close behind Jaejoong.

“Wait,” he stopped the door from closing completely.

Jaejoong opened it slightly to look back in. “Yes?”

“How did you know my name? I didn’t tell you.”

“Your parents visited me earlier today, remember?”

“Oh, right, okay,” Junsu’s brows furrowed and wondered how he couldn’t have figured that out on his own.

“Oh, and Junsu?”

“Huh?”

“I suggest fixing the light bulb on that lamp.”

Chapter 3

“Junsu, are you ready to leave?”

“Yes, yes, stop rushing me!” Junsu retorted in an annoyed voice. He pulled the zipper up and checked his hair in the mirror; still as handsome as always.

He glanced at the expensive pajamas he’d been wearing during his stay at the hospital. With a flick of his wrist, he dumped them into the trash can.

When he walked out of the restroom, his parents were waiting for him. The butler and nanny had already taken everything else (his blanket, pillow, portable DVD, mp3 player, etc.) to the limo.

“Ready?” his mother smiled sweetly at him. She wanted to touch his hair, but Junsu just turned away. It’d be embarrassing if a pretty nurse walked in to see his mother babying him!

“Let’s go!” Junsu walked pass his parents and practically danced out of the hospital room.

He took large steps and hummed his favorite tune. People stepped to the side to avoid running into him. It was almost like he owned the whole hallway or even the whole hospital as he gave other people a smug look.

A person on crutches (with one foot in a thick cast) was walking towards Junsu, but Junsu made no attempt to make way for the injured person.

“Junsu…” his father warned.

Junsu ignored it and laughed mockingly when the person on crutches scrambled to move out of Junsu’s path. The person ended up slipping off his crutches and fell towards the wall to grab for support. Mr. and Mrs. Kim quickly ran to help the person.

“Junsu, we’re going to help this young man get to his hospital room,” his mother said.

“You can wait in the limo for us,” his father added. The young man with the injured foot looked up at the elderly couple, shocked that they were treating the jerk so well. The injured man looked like he pitied the couple.

Junsu just turned his head and continued to walk. He turned the corner and continued to walk like he owned the world.

At the end of this empty hallway (where was everyone, anyway?) he saw another young man who stood in his way.

This young man, perhaps around Junsu’s age, didn’t have an injured foot; as a matter of fact, he wasn’t even in hospital clothes. He wore a white shirt under a black vest with a pair of light green jeans. His shoulder length black hair didn’t look bad either. But that didn’t mean Junsu would move out of the way for him.

Chin held up high, Junsu continued to walk. As he got closer, he expected the other man to step aside. But the other man just kept standing there, looking at Junsu with unreadable eyes.

Feeling a bit wary, Junsu continued to walk. He was four steps away from running smack dab into the other man.

“Out of my way!” Junsu ordered.

The other man only blinked, eyes still unreadable.

Determination in his eyes, Junsu took another step, then another. He was just two steps away from running into the other man now.

“Out of my way!” he repeated.

The other man slowly turned his head, looking at his left and then his right. There was plenty of space on both sides for Junsu to walk through.

But Junsu refused. He took the final step and stood right in front of the other man; their faces only inches away.

Junsu was almost frightened by the color of those eyes. He remembered a time in high school when his bald science teacher talked about eye balls and eye color. The bald, old man had said that humans can have amber, blue, brown, gray, and even hazel eyes. He’d stressed that green eyes, although possible, was the least common (with the exception of rare eye mutations that can create black, red, and other weird colors).

But these eyes that Junsu was looking into. They were definitely black. Could this person be in the hospital to treat his rare eye mutation that had caused his eyes to be so…dark?

It was almost frightening, but Junsu wouldn’t show his fear.

“Out of my way,” he emphasized each word through gritted teeth. The other man just blinked as if he could not understand a word Junsu was saying; he looked innocent and confused.

“Junsu?”

Junsu turned his head to the person calling his name. He saw his parents turning the corner and walking towards him.

“What are you doing?” his father asked.

“I’m…” Junsu began as he turned back to face the annoying person with black irises.

Junsu’s eyes widened. The person was gone!

Was he even a person? But…but…Junsu didn’t even feel his movement, his disappearance!

“Junsu?”

“Where is he?” Junsu’s head turned from left to right.

“Who?” Mrs. Kim inquired.

“The guy! The guy with the dark black eyes and green pants!” Junsu exclaimed.

“Junsu, are you okay? There is no one else around,” Mr. Kim said as he laid a hand on his son’s shoulder.

“No! I saw him! I saw him! He was standing right in front of me!”

“Junsu, do you want to see a doctor?” Mrs. Kim offered, evidently worried about her son.

Junsu frowned. They thought he was crazy! His parents thought he was crazy!

Maybe he was…

No! No! He saw the guy with his own eyes!

“Son?”

Junsu glanced at his father, and then at his mother. “Forget it. I’m okay. I was just…messing with you. Let’s go home.”

♥♥

“Junsu, are you sure you don’t want to come with us tomorrow?”

“You already visited his friend and family in the hospital. I don’t know why you’re going again,” Junsu mumbled with a frown.

“We…”

“…‘owe them’,” Junsu finished sarcastically. “You’ve said that a billion times already. If you two want to go then go. I’m not going. Now I need to sleep.”

Mr. and Mrs. Kim sighed as they shared a glance. “Okay, good night, Honey.”

The couple walked out of their son’s room and closed the door lightly behind them.

Junsu jumped off his bed to lock the bedroom door and then jumped back onto the dearly missed mattress.

He smiled as he drowned in the comfort of his own large bed. His eyes were closed and he was about to fall asleep.

Then he suddenly got the feeling that someone was watching him. Of course, no matter how much he wanted to, he wasn’t going to be stupid and think that the presence was a ghost (again).

Junsu popped one eye open and looked around his grand room, passing all the expensive items and landing on…

Both of his eyes popped wide open and he sat up immediately when he saw the young man standing at the entrance of his balcony. The glass door that separated his room from the large balcony was open and the wind caused the curtains to dance around the intruder.

It was the same guy with the white shirt, black vest, and green jeans; the same guy with the rare mutated eyes with black irises!

“What are you doing here? Did you climb in through the balcony? Don’t come any closer!” Junsu shouted, even though the other man didn’t move an inch from where he stood.

Junsu waited for his parents to hear his shouting and come running in. But then he remembered that, years ago, he had demanded to move to a room far from the master bedroom for ‘privacy’. It was a mansion with thirteen rooms so there were at least ten rooms separating his room from his parents’ room.

But maybe he wouldn’t need his parents. He could fend off this guy on his own.

“Are you a stalker? I know I’m smart and handsome and you’re allowed to fall in love with me, but I will NOT fall in love with you! Go stalk someone else or I’ll call the police on you! My Appa has a lot of connections!”

“The love that you have for yourself far exceeds the love I have for you,” the other man finally spoke (and oh, what a voice!).

“What is that supposed to mean?” Junsu demanded.

“I don’t even like you, much less ‘love’.”

Junsu frowned. “How can you not like me? Everyone loves me! The only people who don’t are those idiots who are jealous of my looks and intelligence! Is that what you are? Are you stalking me because one of your girlfriends or boyfriends dumped you after seeing me and finding out about my existence? Did he or she dump you for not being as good looking as me?”

Junsu obviously didn’t like insults.

“No one likes you except people who don’t know you. No one loves you except your parents,” the other man spoke a-matter-of-factly.

Junsu gasped in shock. He climbed off his bed to stand and had both hands on each side of his hips, obviously pissed off. “You did not just say that!”

“The truth isn’t always appealing,” the other man spoke, turning his head to look at the picture sitting on Junsu’s drawer. It was a picture of a three year old Junsu, looking so cute and innocent (far from the selfish brat that he was now).

“The truth is that I’m good looking and smart! Everyone likes me and the only people who don’t are the ones who are jealous!”

“The truth is…” the other man spoke in a disappointed tone, “…my heart belongs to a spoiled brat.”

Chapter 4

“The truth is…” the other man spoke in a disappointed tone, “…my heart belongs to a spoiled brat.”

Junsu glared. “I am not a spoiled brat! And what the hell are you talking about? Your heart? I thought you said you weren’t in love with me!”

“You have my heart. It doesn’t mean I am in love with you,” the intruder drawled.

“That doesn’t even make sense! Jump off the balcony and get away from me before I call the police! Or I can take you down with my own hands!” Junsu mimicked a karate pose that he’d seen in movies.

The other man sighed and began to walk towards Junsu. Junsu’s eyes shifted around to find a weapon, any weapon because he only knew how to copy martial arts poses, he didn’t actually KNOW martial arts! That was his parents’ fault too! They refused to let Junsu learn martial arts when he was a kid because of his ‘health’!

“Don’t come any closer!” he warned, and then he lied, “I’m an expert at Tae Kwon Do! I can break every bone in your body!”

The other man stopped walking and tilted his head slightly while cocking an eyebrow. He drawled in that deep voice of his, “That threat would work…if I still had bones.”

“What?” Junsu was confused.

The other man took slow steps while Junsu continued to look around. He looked back at the other man and then followed those light green jeans downwards to look at the other man’s feet. Junsu was about to calculate how many more steps it would take for the other man to reach him, but then he forgot how to count numbers when he realized something: the other man didn’t have a shadow!

The balcony door was wide open, the wind blew at the curtains, the moonlight was illuminating most of his room. The curtains had shadows, the bed had a shadow, Junsu turned his head quickly to see that even he, himself, had a shadow!

But the other man standing in front of (walking towards) Junsu didn’t have a shadow!

Humans have shadows! Ghosts don’t!

Junsu’s eyes widened and he made a run for the door. He pulled on the doorknob, pulling and tugging, but it wouldn’t open! It wouldn’t open! Why didn’t it open?

The ghost! The ghost had locked the door! Junsu was trapped! Junsu was trapped in his own room with a ghost!

He saw the ghost step closer and Junsu immediately fell on his knees. He clasped his hands together and closed his eyes. He began to beg, “I’m sorry! Don’t kill me! Don’t kill me! I’m too young to die! I’m too good looking! For the sake of all the pretty girls in the world, don’t kill me!”

“It would be pleasant to hurt you right now,” the intruder spoke. Junsu’s eyes widened in fear as he stared up at the ghost. “But I will refrain from doing so because I still need your help.”

Okay, that made Junsu feel slightly better.

“You need my help?” Junsu asked, uncertainty and hope in his voice.

“Unfortunately so,” the ghost sighed. “You’re the only one who can see me.”

Junsu blinked. “I am? That’s very unfortunate…”

“Tell me about it,” the ghost ran a hand through his hair and it was almost hard to believe that he wasn’t human.

“I meant it’s unfortunate for me!” Junsu exclaimed.

The ghost leered at him, “I am very capable of hurting you by just snapping my fingers.”

That scared Junsu. “Okay, okay! I’ll help you! Just don’t hurt me!”

“Good, now stand up.”

Junsu stood up, but stayed close to the door so that he wasn’t standing too close to the ghost. “You’re really a ghost?”

“I am,” the ghost nodded before extending his hand, “Park Yoochun; nice to meet you.”

Junsu looked down at the extended hand. Then remembered the name!

His own hands went to his chest and clutched the area above his heart. “You…you died in that car accident! I…I have your heart! It’s beating…inside me…right now!” he gasped.

“Yes, it’s very unfortunate,” Yoochun sighed.

Junsu frowned, “What are you trying to say?”

Yoochun ignored Junsu’s question. “You’re the only one who can see me because my heart was given to you. I have to stick to you…”

“Are you serious? I get a good functioning heart and a ghost comes with the package? What is this? ‘Buy one get something else free’? I don’t want a ghost! A genie would be awesome, but not a ghost! Go away!”

“Unfortunately, I cannot leave. I will remain by your side until you fulfill my last wishes. If my wishes are not fulfilled, I will not be able to see the light that will allow me to reincarnate.”

“This is a bad dream, isn’t it? It has to be! I’m going to wake up and this will be a bad dream!” Junsu scooted pass Yoochun (without touching the ghost) and jumped onto his bed. He hid himself under the blanket, closed his eyes tightly and tried to sleep.

Then he felt the smack on his head. “Come out from under there!”

Junsu popped his head out from under the blanket. “You just smacked my head! This is a bad dream and you really are a stalker trying to scare me and make me believe that ghosts exist! A ghost is transparent! A ghost can’t touch…”

Yoochun smacked the side of Junsu’s head again. Junsu shouted a curse word.

“Allow me to correct myself: you’re the only one who can see and touch me.”

Junsu rubbed the side of his head as he glared at Yoochun. “This is wrong! This is so wrong!”

“Life is wrong for the reason that I could not choose to have my heart be donated to a good person,” Yoochun drawled.

“I am a good person!” Junsu protested.

“A good person would help me fulfill my last wishes so that I can see the light and move on to my next life.”

Junsu frowned. “Fine! I’ll help you! How long is this going to take? How many wishes do you have? People always have so many wishes and are always dying with regrets! This is going to take forever! I still need to go to Japan!”

“I only have two.”

Junsu raised an eyebrow before bursting into a mocking laugh. “Are you serious? That’s not possible! Humans are too greedy to die with only two last wishes!”

“It’s true,” Yoochun spoke in a serious tone.

Junsu rolled his eyes. “Fine, sure, whatever; even better for me. We’ll get started tomorrow. Now leave so I can sleep.”

Junsu blinked as he spoke and the next thing he knew, Yoochun was gone. Junsu looked around his room and saw no one, human nor ghost.

Maybe he was hallucinating. He cuddled up under his blanket and closed his eyes.

“I’ll wake up tomorrow and find that it was just a dream,” he murmured tiredly before falling asleep.

♥♥

Junsu never knew he could hit such a high note until he squealed like a little girl the next morning; he’d woken up to see Mashimaro’s face only inches from his own!

“What the hell?” he exclaimed, hand over his frightened heart and shrinking to the other end of his bed.

“This is cute,” Yoochun complimented as he looked at the stuff animal in his hand (after holding the thing closely in Junsu’s face just seconds ago).

“What’s going on?” Junsu demanded.

“Last night wasn’t a dream,” Yoochun informed.

Junsu’s eyes shifted, glancing around his room. He raised his hand to pinch his own cheek and realized that it did hurt. It wasn’t a dream.

“Damn it,” Junsu grumbled with frustration. Then he looked back up at the ghost playing with the stuff animal. “Where did you find that?”

“In your closet,” the other man…er…the ghost replied.

“What exactly can you touch and what can you NOT touch?”

Yoochun shrugged, casually rubbing his right ear with his right hand. “I don’t know. I tried to grab for the Barbie, but I couldn’t touch it. Then I grabbed for this bunny and was able to pick it up.”

Junsu’s face turned a shade of pink. “The Barbie isn’t mine!”

“Sure it isn’t,” Yoochun scoffed.

“It isn’t! It…it belonged to…a friend.”

“There’s no need for you to explain anything to me.”

Junsu frowned. “That’s right! You’re nobody to me so I don’t have to answer to you!”

“Uh-huh,” Yoochun replied with indifference as he poked at the fat Mashimaro.

Junsu frowned some more. “How come you can touch some stuff, but not others?”

“I don’t know,” Yoochun answered truthfully.

“Is it because you’re not able to control your powers yet?” Junsu inquired, eyes wide with curiosity.

“Sure, I guess,” Yoochun shrugged.

Junsu wasn’t sure if he should be happy. If the ghost can’t control his own powers yet, then maybe he won’t be able to hurt Junsu. But that also means Junsu can’t make Yoochun use his powers to do stuff for Junsu yet. Hmm…

“I won’t do anything for you. I’m a ghost, not a genie,” Yoochun interrupted his thoughts.

Junsu’s eyes widened. “Do you have psychic powers? Can you read minds?”

“No, but the look on your evil face said it all.”

“I look handsome nonetheless,” Junsu retorted.

Yoochun rolled his eyes. “Get dressed. You have to be ready before your parents leave.”

“What?”

“They’re going to leave this mansion in fifteen minutes and their destination is my home. You have to go and you have to act nice so that my family believes that my heart went to a worthy person.”

“You want me to transfer your last words to them?”

“I want you to act the way I tell you to act and do not act as yourself.”

“What are you trying to say? That I’m not worthy of your heart?” Junsu glared.

“Yes,” Yoochun didn’t want to lie.

“Fine!”

Chapter 5

Mr. and Mrs. Kim exchanged questioning glances as they followed Junsu towards the house. They were still shocked that their son had risen early and volunteered to accompany them to the Park resident.

Junsu rung the doorbell and waited, feeling Yoochun’s presence right next to him.

The door opened and a young girl greeted them. “Mr. and Mrs. Kim, welcome!” she smiled politely, but Junsu saw the sadness in her eyes. “Oh, and you must be…”

“Introduce yourself and smile while you do it,” Yoochun ordered.

Junsu plastered a smile on his face and extended his hand, “My name is Kim Junsu. Nice to meet you.”

The girl glanced at Junsu’s chest for a moment as a small, touching smile reached her lips. She soon looked back up into Junsu’s eyes and spoke, “My name is Park Heebon. I’m Yoochun’s sister.”

Junsu glanced towards his right (without moving his head) to see how Yoochun was holding up. Yoochun looked calm as he stared at his sister.

“How are your parents doing, Heebon?” Mrs. Kim spoke in a sweet, kind voice.

“They’ll be okay,” Heebon bowed politely. “Please, come in.”

They entered the home and Junsu wanted to make a comment on how small the place was. But Yoochun stopped him, “Don’t say a word unless I tell you to.”

Junsu shot him a death glare and his parents wondered why he was staring daggers at the wall. Heebon had settled them in the living room and had walked into her parents’ room to inform them of visitors.

Junsu wondered how she could be so trusting, to leave these three strangers (and a ghost) alone in their living room. But then, the Kim family was a billion times richer than the Park family; they wouldn’t be stealing anything.

“Mr. and Mrs. Kim, welcome!” Mr. and Mrs. Park chorused when they walked out.

“Stand up and bow!” Yoochun commanded. “Introduce yourself!”

Junsu followed his parents in standing up and bowing to the mourning parents. “Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Park. My name is Kim Junsu.”

Like Heebon, both parents stole a quick glance at Junsu’s chest (where his heart was). Mrs. Park walked over to Junsu and touched his left hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Junsu looked into those swollen red eyes and automatically covered her small hand with his right hand. “I’m sorry. I should have visited earlier.”

Mr. and Mrs. Kim hid their shocked expressions. Heebon and Mr. Park stood behind Mrs. Park, watching the interaction between the mourning mother and Junsu.

“No, it was more important that you rest. Are you feeling well?” Mrs. Park inquired sweetly. The care in her eyes was genuine and sad.

“Yes, I’m doing really well. Thank you,” Junsu smiled in return, feeling Mrs. Park’s hand tighten on his own.

“Good,” she murmured as tears welled up in her eyes. “Good, because Yoochun would be happy to know. Yoochun would be happy to know…”

She couldn’t finish because tears clogged her voice. Junsu felt a small push on his back (by Yoochun) and stepped forward to take the crying woman into his arms, allowing her to cry in his arms.

Behind her, Heebon broke into tears again and had to lean into her father’s arms for support.

Mrs. Kim couldn’t help but break into tears as well as her husband rubbed her arm in a soothing rhythm.

Junsu turned his head slightly to look at Yoochun. Junsu looked around the whole living room. Yoochun was gone.

♥♥

“What was that?”

Yoochun stopped staring at nothing and craned his neck to look up at Junsu. “What?”

“You just disappeared! And now you’re just sitting here?”

“Why can’t I sit here? It’s my workroom,” Yoochun murmured, bringing a hand up to rub his right earlobe.

Junsu had excused himself to the bathroom to search for Yoochun, suspecting that the ghost would still be somewhere in the small house. His parents and Yoochun’s parents were conversing (about less touchy subjects) in the living room while Heebon was in the kitchen preparing tea and snacks.

Junsu peeked into each room and eventually found Yoochun in this small room (occupied by a computer, a desk, instruments, and so much more).

“You play?” Junsu indicated at the instruments.

“Used to,” Yoochun smiled sadly.

“Why are you in here? Why did you just disappear? Aren’t you supposed to be instructing me on how to act ‘worthy’ in front of your family? Don’t you have things you want me to say to them? It’s okay, you know? I can just tell them that I dreamt about you and you wanted me to tell them your last words.”

Yoochun shook his head and looked down at the computer in front of him. He was able to sit on the chair, but he couldn’t touch the keyboard.

“There’s nothing left to say,” Yoochun whispered.

“What do you mean? Don’t you want me to tell them to stop crying over you; that you’re okay?”

“It will only hurt them if I ask them to stop crying. It’s a phase. Crying is a part of it,” Yoochun paused as he raised his head to look back up at the standing Junsu. “They’re together, Junsu. They’re supporting each other.”

“So?” Junsu couldn’t understand.

“My baby sister never got along with Appa, but look at them now. Look at how supportive they are of each other. My death has brought them back together and as long as they stick together, they’ll get through this phase, they’ll overcome it.”

“You really have nothing for me to tell them? Maybe that you love them?”

Yoochun smiled, “They already know. I said it to them every single day when I was alive. There is nothing more I can do to ease their pain, but it’s good to know that their sorrow will be shared, split into three.”

“Aren’t you hurt to see them crying like that?” Junsu continued to question, unable to understand how Yoochun could be so calm. Didn’t he want to cry? Throw a fit? Demand to know why he had to be taken away from such a loving family? Didn’t he want to cry to the Heavens and demand to have his life back?

Junsu gulped at the thought. If Yoochun got his life back, that meant Junsu would still have to live with his own weak heart…or be dead because of it.

“Of course, I’m hurt. I miss them. I want to cry. I wanted to cry when I saw Heebon. I wanted to cry when I saw Umma cry,” Yoochun said as he stood up from the chair and walked over to the electronic piano. He stood next to the instrument and held his fingers several centimeters above the keys.

“Then cry,” Junsu walked to stand next to him.

Yoochun turned his eyes to Junsu and said nothing.

“Junsu?”

Both turned to see Heebon at the door.

“Oh, hi, Heebon. Sorry, I was walking by this room and found it interesting. I’m sorry for intruding,” Junsu tried to make himself look like less of a busybody.

Heebon smiled warmly, “It’s okay. Maybe you have some kind of spiritual connection with my brother. This was his favorite place to be.”

Junsu glanced nervously at Yoochun, but knew that Heebon couldn’t see her brother. She walked to the piano and touched the keys with her small hands.

Yoochun and Junsu watched Heebon’s fingers touch Yoochun’s transparent fingers and suddenly felt so helpless. Heebon tapped at the keys that Yoochun couldn’t.

Yoochun pulled his hand away and turned his head so that he wouldn’t see Heebon. Junsu saw the tear fall from the corner of Yoochun’s eye.

“Junsu Oppa, let’s go back to the living room. I made tea and some snacks.”

Junsu nodded, not knowing what else to say.

He followed Heebon back to the living room. He wanted to say something when Heebon closed the door to the workroom (because Yoochun was still inside), but was thankful that no words escaped his mouth.

Yoochun just walked right through the door, with his head still low.

As they neared the living room, they heard the familiar sound of Mrs. Park’s sobs.

“Don’t cry more. Yoochun wouldn’t want to see us like this,” Mr. Park comforted his wife, kissing her hair softly.

“Yoochun would forgive me for crying a little longer. Just a little longer,” Mrs. Park sobbed.

♥♥

“Is that all there is to your first wish?”

“Yes, it is.”

“That simple?”

“That’s all you would ask for, isn’t it? To see that your family is supporting each other through this hard time and know that they’ll remain strong. To know that they aren’t hurting themselves, starving themselves or thinking about killing themselves. To know that they will stop crying one day and that they understand that I wouldn’t want them to be sad. That’s all you would ask for after your death, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know; I’ve never died before,” Junsu replied.

Chapter 6

“I don’t know; I’ve never died before,” Junsu replied.

Yoochun frowned. “Can you try to be sensitive for a minute?”

“I’m just being realistic!” Junsu exclaimed. “Okay, I’m sorry. Yes, you’re right.”

“Thank you,” Yoochun replied, although it didn’t sound like he meant it.

“Are you sure? You don’t want me to do anything else? I’ll give them money so that they won’t have to work for the rest of their lives.”

Yoochun shook his head and sighed, “Money can’t buy happiness.”

“That only means you’re shopping from the wrong store.”

Yoochun glared at Junsu, and reminded, “Sensitive for just one minute.”

Junsu rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

“They don’t want money. There’s a joy in making and living off money that you earn, not money that is simply given to you. You wouldn’t understand,” Yoochun sighed again as he tapped at his left earlobe.

“Guess not,” Junsu shrugged carelessly.

“What you can do, though, is donate money to charity organizations instead of using it to purchase materialistic items,” Yoochun’s eyes indicated that he was talking about the figurine collection in the corner of Junsu’s room.

“Those are limited edition figurines!” Junsu protested.

“Charity,” Yoochun emphasized.

“Is that your second wish? If it is then I’ll do it so you can get the hell out of my life.”

“It’s not,” Yoochun answered.

“Then I won’t donate anything to anyone. Now tell me what your second wish is and let’s get it over with!”

“I want to visit Jaejoong.”

“Jaejoong?”

“You remember him, don’t you?”

“Of course I remember…wait, how do you know that I’ve met him before?” Junsu’s eyes turned into suspicious slits. “You were there that night weren’t you? Were you the one messing with my lamp to make me think that Jaejoong was a ghost?”

“No, there really was something wrong with your lamp’s light bulb.”

“Oh, I thought it was you and your magic powers at work or something,” Junsu confessed. Yoochun just raised an eyebrow and gave him a ‘You’re strange’ look.

“Anyway, so you remember Jaejoong…”

“Yes, of course! He’s the really pretty guy.”

“He always hated it when people called him ‘pretty’,” Yoochun recalled, his eyes lowering sadly. Junsu noticed how long his lashes were.

“But he really is pretty,” Junsu pointed out.

Yoochun looked back up to meet Junsu’s eyes. “Are you gay?”

“What?” Junsu’s jaw dropped.

“I don’t mean it in an offensive manner. I’m just curious. I mean, you seem attracted to Jaejoong and the Barbie…” Yoochun glanced over at Junsu’s closet (where he’d found the Mashimaro just this morning).

“The Barbie isn’t mine! I don’t know why my mom has it in there!”

“You’re a grown man and this is your own room.”

“Bite me!” Junsu hissed.

“I’d rather do worst,” Yoochun drawled as he tapped his middle finger against his thumb (as if ready to snap his fingers).

“No! Okay, I get it! We’re talking about Jaejoong!”

“I guess your sexual orientation doesn’t really matter to me. I just want to make sure that you don’t decide to woo Jaejoong. He’s out of your range,” Yoochun spoke truthfully as he rubbed his earlobe.

Junsu frowned. “No one is ever out of my range! I’m out of other people’s range!”

Yoochun stood up and walked to the door, ignoring Junsu’s rambling. “If you want your maids and butler to think that you’re talking to floating air then I suggest you shut up as soon as you walk out of this room.”

Junsu zipped his lips and walked out of the room. As he made his way out of the mansion, all employees wondered why their young master was pouting and stomping angrily with every step. But they weren’t shocked. It was hard to be shocked by something that happened so often (and for no important reason).

♥♥

Junsu waited for the door to open and expected to be rewarded with another good look at a pretty face. But then Jaejoong opened the door, he didn’t exactly look as attractive as he had that night at the hospital. Was it the lighting?

“Junsu?” Jaejoong was shocked to see him.

“Hi, Jaejoong, nice to see you again,” Junsu grinned and performed a small wave. He didn’t really like the shadow around Jaejoong’s lips, nor the dark circles under his eyes.

“Nice to see you again,” Jaejoong repeated. “Please, come in.”

Junsu nodded and walked in, expecting to find a messy place. But the place wasn’t messy. It was spotlessly clean.

“Oh, no,” Yoochun murmured.

“What do you mean ‘Oh, no’? It’s not a mess and there aren’t any empty beer cans lying around,” Junsu whispered to the ghost standing next to him. “I don’t see any drugs or knives either. You don’t have to worry about him trying to kill himself.”

“Junsu? Are you talking to someone?” Jaejoong interrupted.

“Uh…” Junsu’s eyes shifted from left to right. Then he quickly pulled out an earpiece from his pocket, “My Bluetooth! I was talking to someone on my Bluetooth!”

Jaejoong nodded while smiling politely. “Please have a seat. I’ll make you something to drink.”

“Okay,” Junsu said, but when Yoochun kicked his heel, he quickly added, “Thank you.”

Jaejoong disappeared into the kitchen while Junsu took a seat on the sofa.

“He cleans when he’s upset,” Yoochun sighed.

“He’s upset? Does that explain the stubble and the bags?” Junsu made his indication clear by running his index fingers back and forth under his own eyes.

“I expected him to be like this, but it still hurts to see,” Yoochun finished his statement in a soft, quiet tone; a sad and soft, quiet tone.

“He’s different from your family…” Junsu whispered.

“He holds his feelings in. I was the only one he would openly talk to. We were…best friends,” Yoochun explained. Junsu usually didn’t notice details, but this time, he noticed that Yoochun was (almost) reluctant to say ‘best friends’.

“But…wouldn’t he understand? Like your family. They understand that you wouldn’t want them to hurt for too long. Wouldn’t Jaejoong…?”

“Everyone is different, Junsu,” Yoochun turned to stare out the window.

Junsu realized that this was Yoochun’s first time saying his name. It sounded nice.

“How is Jaejoong different?”

“Jaejoong is Jaejoong. Even worse, Jaejoong thinks the one who should have died is him.”

Junsu blinked in confusion. “What?”

“We were in the same car. He was driving…”

“Junsu?”

They turned their heads to see Jaejoong walking out from the kitchen.

“Yes?” Junsu reacted immediately while stealing a glance at Yoochun (which made it look like he was stealing a glance at a vase).

“Do you prefer tea or coffee?” the older man inquired.

“Coffee,” Yoochun said.

“Coffee,” Junsu repeated to Jaejoong.

“Okay, I’ll be right back with it.”

Jaejoong disappeared into the kitchen again and Junsu turned to hiss at Yoochun, “I don’t like coffee!”

“Neither does he, but he’s got a lot of coffee stocked up in his cabinets because I love coffee!”

“And you’re going to make me help him get rid of it all?” Junsu hissed.

“Just like you’re going to help him get rid of the guilt that’s going to pull him into Depression!” Junsu opened his mouth to protest, but Yoochun quickly added, “Or do you want a ghost following you for the rest of your life?”

Junsu crossed his arms, turned away from Yoochun, and held his head up high (almost like a haughty princess) to indicate that he was going to shut up, but he wasn’t happy about it.

“Is something wrong?” Jaejoong’s friendly voice sliced the comfortable silence when he walked back into the living room with two mugs.

“No, no, I was just…admiring your ceiling,” Junsu lied. Yoochun rolled his eyes.

“Oh, okay. Here’s some coffee,” Jaejoong handed him a red mug.

Junsu accepted the mug and almost gave it a dirty look, but Yoochun poked his back and all Junsu could do was plaster a smile on his lips and say, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Jaejoong smiled tiredly as he took a seat on the sofa and sipped from the blue mug he was holding.

Junsu smelt the strong coffee smell from his red mug, but found it odd that the coffee odor was coming from another area too. It wasn’t just the kitchen; the aroma was coming from Jaejoong’s blue mug too. “You drink coffee?”

Chapter 7

“You drink coffee?”

Jaejoong looked confused for a moment as he looked down at his own mug. “Yes, I do.”

“Oh,” Junsu took a quick glance at Yoochun. Yoochun looked confused and worried.

“Did you think that I don’t drink coffee?” Jaejoong suddenly asked.

“Um…no, what I meant was, you drink this brand? I like this brand too!” Junsu grinned in the fakest way possible. He forced himself to take a sip of the bitter liquid.

Junsu always felt that coffee was something that…either you like it or you don’t. His gut was telling him that Jaejoong was only drinking coffee because it was his deceased best friend’s favorite beverage, not because Jaejoong liked it.

“Junsu, is there a reason why you’re here today?”

“The same reason why you don’t look as pretty as you did that night at the hospit…ouch!”

Jaejoong blinked in confusion when Junsu started rubbing the back of his head. “Is something wrong?”

“No, I just…headache, it’s just a headache. My head does that a lot. Let’s talk about you,” Junsu tried very hard not to turn around and glare at Yoochun for smacking his head.

“There’s nothing to talk about…”

“You’re depressed. You’re taking Yoochun’s death really hard,” Junsu blurted out.

Jaejoong looked away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Denial will turn into Depression,” Junsu said, surprised that he even came up with such a statement.

“Mr. Kim,” Jaejoong began to address him formally (because Junsu was hitting a topic that was too close for comfort). “I don’t think…”

“That’s right! Don’t ‘think’! ‘Know’! Tell him to ‘know’ that he’s in denial, that it’ll only lead him to depression!” Yoochun shouted.

“Don’t ‘think’!” Junsu quickly said. “Know that you’re in denial, that it’ll only lead you to depression!”

“I’m not in denial…”

“Look at you! You haven’t shaved, you haven’t slept, all you’ve been doing is clean, clean, and clean!” Yoochun shouted and Junsu repeated.

Jaejoong blinked in confusion. “How did you know…?”

“I ‘know’ because I don’t ‘think’!” Junsu blurted out, confused by the mixture of Yoochun’s shouting and Jaejoong’s suspicion.

“That doesn’t make sense!” Yoochun shouted at Junsu.

“What?” Jaejoong’s brows furrowed, looking even more confused.

“I meant…”

“No, wait,” Jaejoong held his hand up to stop Junsu from talking. “I’m done. You’re done. Thank you for visiting, but I’d like to be left alone right now.”

“Okay!” Junsu was glad for the opportunity to leave.

“No! If you leave now, it’ll only be harder for you to get to him!” Yoochun protested. “Keep trying to talk to him!”

Junsu frowned. “Jaejoong…”

“Please, just leave,” the older man rubbed his temples, but knowing it won’t rid him of the headache (or heartache).

“Your best friend just died and you need someone to talk to. You have to let your feelings go. Holding them down, tying them up won’t do you any good!” Junsu shouted, because he wanted to get this over with, because he wanted to get rid of this stupid ghost!

Jaejoong stared at Junsu for a moment of awkward silence. Junsu glanced at Yoochun, not knowing what to do. Yoochun had his eyes focused on Jaejoong.

Finally, Jaejoong spoke, “You have his heart, but you’re not him.”

Yoochun instructed Junsu to say, “I’m not. But you would rather talk to me, wouldn’t you? It’s easier to talk to a stranger than your family who will fuss over you, your friends who will worry for you?”

Jaejoong stared at Junsu again, almost as if he was looking for something…or someone.

He was wondering how Junsu knew that Jaejoong was the type that didn’t want his family and friends to worry about him, to share his burdens. It was just the person that he was. It was a characteristic of Jaejoong’s that Yoochun was familiar with.

Junsu wasn’t Yoochun though.

“What happened that night; the night of the car accident?” Junsu inquired without Yoochun’s instruction.

Jaejoong forced himself to stop staring at Junsu.

“It’s working. It’s working,” Yoochun murmured. Because Junsu had spoken Yoochun’s words, Jaejoong was beginning to feel attached to this stranger who reminded him too much of his best friend. It also helped that Jaejoong was unconsciously desperate, unwilling to believe that Yoochun was gone.

When he saw Yoochun’s characteristics on Junsu, Jaejoong wanted to grasp onto it. He knew it was impossible, but he was still unconsciously trying to find a replacement for his best friend in his heart. He was only human.

“Do something to remind him of me!” Yoochun urged.

“Like what? I don’t know you!” Junsu whispered while trying not to move his lips too much.

“Rub your ear and chug down the whole mug of coffee!” Yoochun instructed.

Junsu raised his right hand to rub his right earlobe. His left hand lifted the red coffee mug so he could stare at the dark, brown beverage. He could already feel his stomach churn.

“Hurry, while he’s staring at you!” Yoochun pressured.

Junsu repeated, ‘To get rid of the ghost, to get rid of the ghost,’ over and over again in his mind as he chugged down all the coffee in the red mug.

Jaejoong stared without blinking and looked like he wanted to cry.

Yoochun knew it was bad to be using his weak point to force Jaejoong into opening up to Junsu (especially when Jaejoong was still hurting from fresh wounds of losing Yoochun), but he had to do it. He didn’t want to watch Jaejoong continue to fall…

Junsu coughed at the strength of the bitter coffee and rubbed his chest with his right hand, hoping to stop the coughing. The dramatic coughing really did stop when he heard Jaejoong start to talk.

“We were in the same car. I was driving…”

[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“When they come back, we should throw a surprise party for him!”

“I get to plan it!”

“But everything you plan goes wrong!”

“Only 88% of the time!”

Both friends burst into a fit of laughter and insults.

“You should give him a kiss for his birthday,” Yoochun suggested.

Jaejoong frowned, “We said we wouldn’t talk about this.”

“Jaejoong, we’ll have to talk about it eventually. You’ll have to talk to him eventually.”

“‘Eventually’ won’t be happening anytime soon,” Jaejoong spoke, his tone serious and his eyes on the road. Yoochun could easily see the tensing of his best friend’s shoulders.

“Jaejoong…”

“I can’t do it, Yoochun. I just can’t.”

“Why not?” Yoochun challenged.

“Rejection. Fear. Something. Something.”

“What are the chances? I mean, he’s still single. He doesn’t have a love interest…”

“That we know of,” Jaejoong reminded.

“If he had a love interest, we would know, wouldn’t we?”

“I don’t know,” Jaejoong sighed. “Yoochun, just shut up.”

“Fine, we’ll just end up talking about it again later,” Yoochun emphasized the last word of his statement, making a promise that he would end up breaking.

Jaejoong continued to keep his eyes on the road, hitting the signal light and preparing to turn the corner. Too late, he saw the large truck coming towards them on the steep road.

“Look out!” Yoochun shouted.

Jaejoong’s eyes widened and he froze in shock, in fear. Yoochun grabbed the wheel and turned it sharply, causing their compact to spin out of control. The truck was ready to hit their vehicle, head to head.

Jaejoong tried to release his seatbelt, but his hand shook uncontrollably. He saw Yoochun free himself from his own seatbelt and the next thing Jaejoong knew, Yoochun’s body was over his own and guarding him from the incoming collision. His whole body felt like it was being thrown back and forth before something hit his head and he lost consciousness.

The tight grip that he had on Yoochun’s arm loosened and when he lost consciousness, Jaejoong’s hands…just let go.

[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“It’s my fault! I should have done something! If I had turned the wheel correctly, turned it so that my side of the car was towards the truck then Yoochun would still be alive! Or if I had released my own seatbelt in time and covered Yoochun with my body then he wouldn’t have suffered most of the impact!” Jaejoong sobbed into his own hands. “But I didn’t do anything! I just froze! I’m so stupid, so stupid…”

“That’s not what happened! It’s not!” Yoochun was shouting frantically.

Junsu didn’t know what to do. He looked at Yoochun, his eyes begging for instructions. Yoochun ran a hand through his hair in frustration, eyes brimming with tears.

Confused, Junsu just scooted over to sit next to Jaejoong and just…held him. He hugged Jaejoong and allowed the man to cry on his shoulder. When he turned his head to look at Yoochun, Yoochun was gone again.

Chapter 8

A/N (PLEASE READ): Hello, this IS NOT Micah. I'm her friend and just stopping by to help her post these chapters. She's occupied with school and two jobs right now, among other things. But she didn't want to just abandon this story so here I am to transfer hand written chapters to typed up submissions. She apologizes for not being able to reply to everyone's messages and promises to reply to every one as soon as she can (and hopefully be updating again at that time too). Thank you. Enjoy!

♥♥♥♥♥

Junsu twirled the pen in his left hand as he rested his head on the knuckles of his right hand. Then he shifted to place the pen (horizontal) on the area between his nose and his upper lip. He puckered up his lips so that the pen would balance in place without him having to hold it with his hand.

He should be making a list of things to do in Japan, but something else was bothering him. What? He didn’t know.

Maybe what bothered him was that he ‘didn’t know’. But Junsu didn’t know a lot of things in the world (and preferred not to know). So that shouldn’t be what’s bothering him.

So what was bothering him?”

He suddenly felt the coldness of the breeze and turned his head towards the balcony. Yoochun was sitting there, staring out at the sky. The wind was blowing, but it didn’t blow Yoochun’s hair out of his pale face. The wind couldn’t touch Yoochun.

“Are you just going to sit there?” Junsu inquired.

“That’s not what happened,” Yoochun murmured softly. Those were the same words he’d shouted back at Jaejoong’s house just an hour ago.

Junsu had ended up tucking the tired Jaejoong into bed and letting the man sleep (finally). He locked the doors and left the house right afterwards.

“Then what really happened?” Junsu asked.

“He left out so much. He left out the fact that he almost got his seatbelt off, but I pushed his hand away. He wanted to turn the wheel so that the truck would hit his side of the car, but I pulled it back. We fought over it for that horrible three seconds. No one won, because the truck hit us head-on. I saw it first so I tried to shield him, protect him.”

“You did it.”

“Did I? Protect him from what? Is the one who is alive more miserable than the one who died?”

“No,” Junsu heard himself say. He was never good at comforting people.

“Don’t you understand? He’s just saying that to make himself sound guilty; to make himself feel better!”

Junsu blinked and wondered if that statement even made sense. It kind of did.

“He’s punishing himself, isn’t he?” Junsu murmured.

“He shouldn’t be! It’s not his fault! I wanted to protect him! I did it out of my own free will!”

From the intense emotions in Yoochun’s eyes, Junsu wondered if Yoochun and Jaejoong were more than ‘best friends’.

“He’s your best friend,” Junsu felt the need to say. “He should know…”

“He knows because he knows me, but guilt is blinding him,” Yoochun closed his eyes and lowered his head. “I thought…I thought that after death, being dead, I would become numb to human emotions. I was proud of myself when I didn’t bawl the moment I saw Heebon open the door. I thought that being dead, being a ghost, allowed me to numb the pain…”

“Maybe it’s a phase. You clearly still have human emotions, otherwise you wouldn’t have come back to fulfill your wishes.”

“You’re right. Maybe ghosts won’t lose human emotions completely, but I expected the emotions to be less…intense,” Yoochun mumbled as he recalled how he reacted to Jaejoong’s tears.

“Maybe you’ll lose those human emotions eventually.”

“Wouldn’t that make sense, though? The longer I’m a ghost, the less intense my human emotions will be. Then when the time comes, I can completely let go and walk into the light.”

“Is that what you’ve always thought death was like?”

“Maybe,” Yoochun shrugged.

Junsu wondered, for a moment, why he was having this conversation with Yoochun. It was a pointless, boring conversation that Junsu would never want to be a part of.

“Now what?” Junsu started another conversation, his eyes leaving Yoochun to stare out at the sky.

Yoochun sighed and opened his eyes to stare out at the same sky. “Jaejoong is a good person. The only person who can pull him out of this…is the person he’s hopelessly in love with.”

“What about his family?”

“They’re all in America.”

“I’ll pay to fly him to…”

“They were never close so it wouldn’t really matter.”

“Oh…” Junsu murmured. “Then who?”

“Yunho.”

“Who?”

Yoochun’s right hand moved to touch his right ear as he spoke in an unreadable tone, “Jaejoong and I met Yunho in high school. We became really good friends; the three of us were inseparable, but I knew that it was because of Jaejoong. Jaejoong held the three of us together; he would be the one to make peace when Yunho and I got into minor arguments. After high school, my parents sent me to America. I finished college in three and a half years and returned to Seoul immediately.”

Yoochun paused for a second too long, and Junsu wasn’t sure what to do. “Something changed after you came back?”

“I found out…” Yoochun began, a frown gracing his brows. “When I came back, I found out that Jaejoong’s mother had been diagnosed with cancer two years after I left. No one told me. Jaejoong asked my parents and Heebon not to tell me because he didn’t want me to worry; he wanted me to concentrate on my education.”

“That’s because he’s such a good friend…”

“No,” Yoochun cut off Junsu’s statement. “He used to share everything with me. Good or bad, he would tell me. Between us, if we had problems, we would call each other out for support even at a ridiculous hour.”

Junsu almost envied such a special friendship. Almost.

“His mother was diagnosed with cancer when I still had a year and a half of college left. She died from it just two months before I returned to Seoul. During that year and a half, it was Yunho who helped Jaejoong get through it. Jaejoong loved his mother, so much and too much. She, and her husband, favored his brother and sister. His parents favored his younger siblings because Jaejoong was the black sheep, the ‘bad’ one in the family.”

“The rest of his family moved to America after her death and he didn’t go with them?”

“No, he stayed in Seoul. For me and for Yunho; mostly for Yunho. Coming back to Seoul after three and a half years, I found out that Jaejoong had fallen in love with Yunho. I wondered: how long did it take? One year? Two years? Three and a half years? Or maybe he had been in love with Yunho ever since high school.”

Junsu wanted to ask: why did it matter to you?

He didn’t ask.

“And?”

“That’s all you need to know,” Yoochun turned his eyes to look at Junsu. “He really loves Yunho. My last wish is for you to play matchmaker. Bring them together. After that, I’ll be able to leave. You won’t ever have to see me again.”

“That’s it?” Junsu blinked. Then he clapped his hands together, “Great! That’ll be easy! There’s some foundation for a relationship between them. I do a little more push and pull and get them together; then you get the hell out of my life! I’ll get started right now!”

Junsu jumped out of his chair and ran out of his room. The moment he stepped out, he ran smack-dab into Yoochun (who had somehow gotten from the balcony to the door faster than Junsu).

“Ouch!” Junsu fell backwards onto his butt and quickly glanced outside the door to see if anyone saw what happened. To other people, it would look like Junsu had run into thin air (or invisible wall) and fell backwards. That’s not normal. “What was that for?”

Yoochun stood there with his arms crossed and raising an eyebrow at the man sitting on the floor. “You don’t even know where to start.”

Junsu blinked. Right, all he knew was the guy’s name; not even a last name to go with the first name! “Well, then tell me where to find him!”

“Yunho and Changmin are on a business trip in Tokyo. They won’t be back until tomorrow.”

Junsu blinked again, in confusion this time. “Yunho and who?”

♥♥

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Jaejoong looked uneasy when he opened the door for Junsu. At least there weren’t large bags under his eyes today, even though the stubble was still there. “Sorry about yesterday.”

“Oh, that’s okay. Can I come in?”

“Sure, please do.”

Junsu walked into the apartment and took a seat on the sofa. Yoochun was already in the apartment, leaning against the wall. Next to his head was a hanging collage with pictures of Jaejoong and Yoochun. Junsu wondered why he hadn’t noticed it yesterday.

The picture on the top right corner was of a grinning Yoochun. Junsu wondered if he would ever see Yoochun grin like that again, because Damn, Yoochun looked hot.

“Are you feeling better?” Junsu quickly pulled out of those weird thoughts and inquired nicely.

Just earlier today, Yoochun had forced Junsu to wake up early, go online to find the phone number to the company that Jaejoong worked at, and called in to ask for Jaejoong. The person who picked up the phone informed Junsu that Jaejoong had requested a vacation period of one month.

It was a long, tedious process because Yoochun had to lecture and threaten while Junsu was slow and grouchy from the lack of sleep (he needed at least ten hours per day).

“Yes, thank you,” Jaejoong paused. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I have something to do in an hour…”

“Oh? What is it?” Junsu asked, failing to look like he didn’t already know.

Luckily, Jaejoong was too tired to notice the bad acting. In a voice (mixed with sadness, fear, anxiety, and so much more), Jaejoong replied, “I need to pick up my friends from the airport and…”

All three turned heads when they heard the banging on Jaejoong’s door.

Chapter 9

“Jaejoong! Open the damn door!”

“Jaejoong!”

Junsu saw that Yoochun was looking at Jaejoong. Yoochun saw that Jaejoong was scared. Jaejoong was rarely scared.

The banging and shouting continued, but Jaejoong didn’t move. Junsu asked in an uneasy tone, “Do you want me to open the…?”

The door was kicked open and two angry men ran into the apartment. Junsu’s jaw dropped and Jaejoong lowered his head.

The shorter of the two men completely ignored Junsu and ran to Jaejoong. “What happened? Why did you try to keep it from us? Why didn’t you call us? We deserve to know!”

“Yunho,” the taller of the two men laid a hand on the shouting man’s shoulder.

Junsu got a good look at the shorter of the two new…uh…visitors and approved of Jaejoong’s love for Yunho. The guy was very, very good looking…but not as good looking as Junsu, of course.

“I’m sorry,” Jaejoong strained to say. Junsu turned to look at Jaejoong and suddenly realized; he wasn’t afraid of the yelling and accusation (because he would do it again if he had to choose again).

“You should know that you can’t keep it from us forever. If Yunho hadn’t called Heebon yesterday…”

[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“Hello?”

“Heebon! It’s me!”

“Yun…Yunho Oppa,” Heebon stammered in a shocked voice as she held the home phone against her ear.

“Heebon? Why is your voice so weird? Are you okay?”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. I’m fine. It’s just…a cold.”

“A cold? Is Yoochun not taking good care of you? I’ll punish him as soon as I get back to Seoul!” Yunho joked. “Anyway, is Yoochun home?”

“He’s…not home,” she strained to say.

“Oh, okay, I tried to call his cell phone, but didn’t get an answer. I called Jaejoong’s home and cell phone too, but he didn’t pick up either. The both of them are supposed to pick Changmin and me up from the airport tomorrow afternoon so we can go pig out at our favorite buffet. I was afraid that they’d forget so I’m calling…” Yunho stopped talking when he heard the muffled sob from the other line. “Heebon, are you crying?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” the young girl sobbed into the phone in a broken voice. “I’m so sorry, Oppa.”

“Heebon, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

Changmin (who had been sitting on the other side of the hotel room) stopped playing video games on his laptop and turned to look at Yunho. His eyes spoke, ‘What’s wrong?’

Yunho shook his head from left to right, his brows furrowing in confusing and fear. He tried again, “Heebon, please, tell me what happened. Yunho Oppa will fix it for you. You don’t have to cry.”

“Oppa, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Jaejoong Oppa…Jaejoong Oppa…”

“What’s wrong with Jaejoong? Is he hurt? What happened?’

Changmin had enough control to not grab the phone from Yunho and start asking his own questions.

“Yoochun Oppa and Jaejoong Oppa were in a car accident,” Heebon blurted out. It was hard enough to be lying to Yunho (whom she was closest to), but even worst to listen to Yunho talk about Yoochun as if…as if he was still alive.

Yunho’s breathing grew heavy and he looked like he was going to pass out. Changmin immediately wrapped an arm about the paled face man to keep him standing and used his free hand to grab for the phone.

Just as he placed the phone against his ear, he heard Heebon finish, “Yoochun Oppa is dead.”

[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“If Heebon hadn’t told us, we wouldn’t have caught an early flight back! If Heebon hadn’t told us, I would still be stupid and think that I could still give Yoochun the souvenir that he asked for!” Yunho pulled the velvet box out of his pocket and slammed it on the coffee table.

Jaejoong still had his head low, not even jumping at the sound of anger.

Junsu jumped when he heard the velvet box being slammed onto the table. It looked like a jewelry box, the squared size that was made to hold a ring.

Yoochun was just standing in the corner watching the scene unfold. What else could he do?

“Yunho, we shouldn’t be yelling at Jaejoong…” Changmin said.

“And why not?” Yunho turned his body sharply to yell at the taller man. “He didn’t just NOT let us know! He did all he could to prevent other people from letting us know!”

“It’s not his fault! It’s what I would have wanted! Tell them!” Yoochun shouted at Junsu.

“It’s not Jaejoong’s fault! He was just doing what Yoochun would have wanted!” Junsu repeated. All heads (including Jaejoong) turned to look at Junsu.

“Who are you?” Changmin was the first to react.

“I…” Junsu glanced nervously at Yoochun while the others wondered why he was glancing at a wall. “It doesn’t matter who I am. What matters now is…is…that you all sit down calmly and talk about it!”

Yunho looked at Changmin. Changmin looked at Jaejoong. Jaejoong looked at Yunho and then Changmin.

“Let him explain,” Yoochun said.

“Let him explain,” Junsu voiced.

Changmin led Yunho to settle on the sofa next to Jaejoong. He sat on the other side of Yunho, but turned his body enough to be facing Jaejoong. They waited patiently, but Jaejoong still wouldn’t raise his eyes to look at them.

“I’m sorry,” Jaejoong finally spoke.

“No, we understand,” Changmin said. He squeezed Yunho’s shoulder, “We understand, don’t we Yunho? We understand that you were just doing what Yoochun would have wanted. He wouldn’t have wanted to interrupt our business trip so you don’t have to be sorry for not telling…”

“No, I’m not sorry for keeping the truth from you,” Jaejoong interrupted. “I’m sorry for…”

Junsu turned his head to look at the corner that Yoochun was standing at. Yoochun was gone.

When Junsu turned his head back to look at the three friends, he saw four. He saw what the other three couldn’t see: he saw Yoochun kneeling next to Jaejoong and wanting so much to smooth his best friend’s hair.

“Explain for him, Junsu,” Yoochun pleaded.

Junsu looked at the other two who were waiting, trying to be patient. He noticed that behind their backs, Yunho was gripping tightly onto Changmin’s hand.

“They were driving together and when they passed a steep road, a truck began to roll towards them. The truck owner had forgotten to pull the brakes or something. The truck hit their car and Yoochun threw his body over Jaejoong’s body to protect him.”

Jaejoong’s body shook and his head lowered even more to hide his moist eyes. Yunho looked guilty immediately and moved to sit closer to Jaejoong, to hug him. Changmin remained where he was sitting.

“Jaejoong doesn’t like to cry. Yunho saw Jaejoong cry for the first and only time when his mother died. Changmin has never seen Jaejoong cry,” Yoochun murmured.

Junsu didn’t know what to do. He felt…trapped between these four friends.

“Continue,” Changmin whispered, his eyes on Junsu.

Junsu blinked nervously as his hands fidgeted. “Yoochun died while Jaejoong was heavily injured. I…I had been in the hospital for two days that day of the accident. I was in a coma because of my poor heart condition. When…when they certified that Yoochun was dead, his family agreed to donate his heart to me and that’s…that’s why I’m here.”

Junsu saw Yunho and Changmin look at his chest, the area above his (or Yoochun’s) beating heart.

“I’m here because Jaejoong had visited me when I was in the hospital. I visited him yesterday and saw that…he’s blaming himself. He’s not sorry for not telling you two about Yoochun’s death. He’s sorry because he thinks he could have saved Yoochun…”

“I don’t ‘think’! I ‘know’!” Jaejoong pushed out of Yunho’s embrace and shot up from his seat. “I know that I could have saved him! If I had thrown myself over him! If I shielded him from the impact! He wouldn’t have died! He shouldn’t have died!”

“No!” Junsu heard Yoochun shout.

“Jaejoong, it’s not your fault!” Changmin protested, standing up to meet the other man eye to eye.

“This world doesn’t need me! It needs Yoochun! Yoochun does so much, he helps so many people! He has his loving family, all of his friends! He could have done so much!” Jaejoong cried, eyes bloodshot red and angry veins appearing beneath the surface of his skin.

“No! Get him a psychiatrist! He needs help! He can’t continue to think like this! He’ll fall into Depression! This isn’t Jaejoong! Jaejoong isn’t like this!” Yoochun shouted on the top of his lungs. But no one heard him except for Junsu.

“This is hitting you hard. I know. This is hitting you hard. You’re not good at handling death. I know. I really know, but you can’t continue like this. It’s not your fault,” Yunho tried to convince.

Junsu saw Yoochun turn his head slightly; he was probably recalling the time that Yunho had helped Jaejoong overcome his mother’s death (when Yoochun wasn’t there). Yunho has helped Jaejoong overcome a loved one’s death before; Yoochun has not.

“I could have saved him,” Jaejoong’s shouts turned into whimpers as he looked into Yunho’s eyes. It was as if he was begging Yunho to agree. “I could have saved him.”

“No one can control Death. No one,” Yunho pulled Jaejoong into his arms and drew comforting circles on his back.

Junsu looked at Changmin. The tall man lowered his head sadly.

“I love him. I love him so much. He was my best friend, like a blood brother to me.”

“I know,” Yunho whispered. “I know.”

“If it wasn’t for him, I would have joined a gang, got into drugs, and may even be dead. But I didn’t. He became my friend when I was so lonely; he took my hands and led me onto the right path. I owe him so much…so much,” Jaejoong closed his eyes to better recall the memories.

“He knows. He knows how much you love him,” Yunho murmured soothingly.

Chapter 10

“He was always there for me, always.”

“And you were always there for him,” Yunho reminded.

Junsu was amazed. How could this man be so good? Jaejoong opened up to him so easily, accepted his comfort so peacefully.

Junsu looked at Yoochun, who looked so sad and so…envious at the same time.

“Yoochun wouldn’t want to see you like this. Let us help you,” Changmin reasoned, finally turning back to looking at his two friends.

“Depression isn’t something you can get rid of so easily. Go to a doctor, please?” Yunho pulled out of the embrace enough to be able to see Jaejoong’s face.

“I’m not…I…I’m okay,” Jaejoong tried to assure.

“Yoochun wouldn’t want to see you like this. We don’t want to see you like this. Please?” Yunho tried again.

Junsu saw the genuine concern on Yunho’s face, in his eyes. For a moment, Junsu thought that he looked just as beautiful as Jaejoong. They would make such a perfect couple.

“Why don’t you go rest for now?” Changmin suggested, his eyes holding the same sincerity. “Yunho and I need to get back to the office and take care of some details. We’ll come back right afterwards.”

“Changmin is right. Rest. We’ll…bring some food back too. It doesn’t look like you’ve been eating well,” Yunho raised a hand to touch Jaejoong’s cheek.

Jaejoong nodded slowly, looking so tired, but also a bit more…relaxed.

Yunho walked Jaejoong into his room while Changmin and Junsu remained in the living room.

“Shim Changmin,” the tall man extended his hand to formalize the introduction. “Thank you for coming to check on Jaejoong.”

“Kim Junsu,” Junsu shook his hand. Then he realized that if Yoochun hadn’t forced him to visit Jaejoong, Junsu would never have seen the genuine appreciation in Changmin’s eyes. “It’s something I should do.”

“It’s okay now. Yunho is by his side again. Everything will be okay,” Changmin forced a smile and looked back towards the corridor, waiting for Yunho to come back.

♥♥

“Do you think he’ll be okay?” Junsu inquired as the three walked out of Jaejoong’s apartment.

“Jaejoong is strong. He’ll get through this,” Yunho replied with sad eyes.

“You’re really good at comforting people. You’d be able to pull him out of this,” Junsu tried to compliment.

Yunho shook his head, unable to hear the praise. “Comforting is only an attempted task with no guarantee of success. In the end, because we’re unable to share what he feels, to understand what he’s thinking, we won’t be able to pull him out. He’ll have to pull himself out.”

“Yunho,” Changmin laid a hand on the man’s shoulder.

Junsu was shocked by the change. At one moment, Yunho was so strong in front of Jaejoong; but now, he looked so weak.

“Yoochun and I were close to. I’m hurting this much already. I can’t imagine what Jaejoong must be going through. I can’t. I just don’t understand. I can’t share it with him. How am I supposed to help him?” Yunho raised his eyes to look at Changmin, as if begging for answers.

“It’s not like that,” Changmin tried to say.

“He’s hurting so much, but we can’t help him. We can throw him a rope, but we can’t make him grab onto it. I don’t want him to ignore the rope, Changmin. I can’t stand to lose another friend,” the man’s voice started to crack and he stopped talking. His hand covered his face and he tried to hide his feelings again.

Junsu noticed the reflecting of the sunlight on the shiny ring that Yunho was wearing.

Junsu knew that Yunho was finally able to break down. Because he didn’t have to be strong for Jaejoong anymore. Now, Yunho depended on Changmin to be strong for him.

“You can’t think like that. Maybe the reason you’ll succeed in pulling Jaejoong out is because you’re not feeling what he’s feeling. Comforting isn’t just an attempted task with no guarantee. You don’t fail because you don’t share his pain. You succeed because you don’t share his pain,” Changmin reasoned and Junsu was awed by his intelligence.

“He’s hurting more than me because he was closer to Yoochun. I’m afraid to make myself understand the pain he’s going through. I’m afraid to touch pain that is beyond my own. I’m a coward,” Yunho’s voice hit another high pitch, a crack caused by a sob.

Junsu saw the tear, that single tear, and didn’t know what to do. He stared at the tallest man.

“No, sympathizing doesn’t work that way. You’re tired from jet lag and everything that’s happened today. You go home and I’ll finish things up at the office. Then I’ll come pick you up and drive back here to have dinner with Jaejoong,” Changmin suggested, squeezing the shorter man’s shoulder. Then he turned to the quiet Junsu, “Would you like to join us for dinner?”

Junsu blinked, feeling a little dumb. He glanced around and finally realized that Yoochun wasn’t around to instruct him on what to do. “Um…no, that’s okay. Thank you.”

“Sorry,” Yunho apologized for his behavior as he blinked those red eyes. “And thank you.”

“Um…there’s no need. I’m going to leave now,” Junsu paused, unsure of his next statement. Still, he said, “Tell me if you guys need anything.”

What was Junsu doing? He had no idea. He was giving these guys a blank check, to call him up for help if they ever needed it. That’s not normal. That’s a burden, a chain. Junsu didn’t like that.

But he felt really bad for the man who was trying so hard not to cry, fearing that he would lose two friends in such short intervals of time.

Pity. That was all Junsu could label it.

“Thank you,” they spoke sincerely again and Junsu suddenly felt important. He didn’t get this feeling often.

“You’re welcome,” he nodded with an encouraging smile. Then he turned to walk back to his car, still unable to figure out where Yoochun had disappeared to.

♥♥

“Where were you when we walked out of the apartment?”

“I was in Jaejoong’s room, watching him sleep,” Yoochun replied in a monotone voice.

Silence.

“Oh,” Junsu murmured into the quiet atmosphere.

Silence again.

Then Junsu couldn’t stand it anymore.

“No wonder Jaejoong is in love with him. He’s really good looking,” Junsu said, just to break the solemn silence.

“Jaejoong isn’t in love with Yunho because of his appearance,” Yoochun replied dully, sitting on the ground on the balcony because, for some reason, he couldn’t sit on a chair (he fell right through it).

“Oh, well, Yunho is really…um…caring too. He’s pretty good at getting to Jaejoong.”

“Only him,” Yoochun murmured with a sigh.

Junsu wondered what that meant. Was Yoochun even listening to Junsu? ‘Only’ what? Who’s the ‘him’?

There was knocking on the locked door.

“Junsu, dinner time.”

“I’m not hungry!” Junsu shouted in reply.

“You have to eat. You’re still recovering,” his mother’s voice came from the other side of the door.

“I’m sick of all those healthy food you’re making me eat! Leave me alone!” Junsu shouted again, wanting to get rid of all interruptions so he could quietly talk to Yoochun again.

“Junsu, please,” his mother pleaded.

“No! Now go away!” Junsu exclaimed. He frowned at the door and then turned back to look at Yoochun on the balcony. Yoochun was frowning at him. “What?”

“Go eat,” Yoochun simply said.

“I’m not hungry,” Junsu answered, although not shouting this time.

“They’ll worry if you don’t eat,” Yoochun spoke in a controlled tone.

“No, they won’t. Don’t worry about it,” Junsu brushed off the conversation.

“Junsu?” his father’s voice came from the other side of the door.

Junsu rolled his eyes and grumbled with annoyance, “I said…”

“Go eat,” Yoochun repeated, in a rougher voice this time.

Junsu blinked in shock. Then he frowned. “It’s my own stomach!”

“But Junsu, you have to eat,” his father’s voice again, thinking that his son was talking to him.

“Go!” Yoochun ordered.

“Mind your own business!” Junsu shouted at Yoochun.

Yoochun glanced at the door and knew that Junsu’s parents were both on the other side, looking at each other sadly (because they thought that Junsu was telling them to ‘Mind your own businesses’). But then, Yoochun was sure that Junsu has said worse to them.

“I’m dead! I won’t ever be able to sit down and have dinner with my parents ever again! I won’t ever be able to listen to them nag at me again! I won’t ever be able to talk to them again! There isn’t an ‘again’ for me, but look at you! Look at yourself!” Yoochun burst.

Junsu blinked in shock. He wasn’t quite sure how to react, so he went with instinct. He picked the usual reaction that he would give to someone who was yelling at him (but that someone was also someone he was afraid of).

He frowned and acted annoyed, “Okay, geez, fine. You don’t have to yell. I’m going downstairs to eat. Don’t follow me; I don’t want to put up with you even while I’m eating.”

Junsu pulled the door open and ran out, leaving his parents standing there looking ever so confused, because they were unable to see the frustrated Yoochun.

Chapter 11

“You don’t want to go?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’ve realized how wrong I was. Ghosts don’t lose human emotions just because we’re dead,” Yoochun frowned as he rubbed the lobe of his right ear.

Junsu sighed and adjusted his tie. He was wearing a black suit and he hated it.

Seriously, if it wasn’t for Yoochun, he wouldn’t be wearing this suit that his parents had begged him to wear. Yoochun was standing there and tapping his middle finger against his thumb (as if ready to snap his fingers).

Junsu recalled that this ghost could easily hurt him with the snap of his fingers, although Junsu wasn’t sure how, so he gave in to wearing the suit.

“I look like a penguin,” Junsu grumbled, hoping to be funny because he woke up this morning wondering what Yoochun’s smile would look like (whatever that means).

“Go already. Don’t be late.”

“You’ll be late with me,” Junsu shrugged.

“I can’t be late. I’m already there,” Yoochun drawled.

Junsu couldn’t joke anymore. He sighed and wondered what kind of person this Park Yoochun had been…and still is. He seemed like a philosopher with an open mind when he spoke about his family, the way they mourned and the way they would recover as one.

But after the whole incident with Jaejoong, Yoochun had become a blob of…death. His voice didn’t have a tone, he sighed constantly, and he didn’t even appear as much anymore. Junsu guessed that he was over at Jaejoong’s house watching over his childhood best friend.

‘I can’t be late. I’m already there.’

Right, of course he was already there, in the coffin.

“I’m leaving now,” Junsu hinted as he started to leave the room.

Yoochun just blinked and tilted his head to stare up at the sky. Today, he was able to sit on a chair on the balcony. The wind still couldn’t touch him.

Junsu wondered how much longer he’d have to put up with this group of depressing people…and ghost.

♥♥

Junsu was shocked by how many people attended the funeral. He almost wished Yoochun was here to see it, but then realized that it would really hurt Yoochun to see all this.

All these people who loved him, cared for him, admired him, knew him, were there to pay their respect and tears.

So many tears.

Maybe it was best that Yoochun chose not to come.

“Junsu?”

Junsu turned his head to see Changmin looking like a model in the plain black suit. “Hi.”

“How are you?”

“Doing okay, I suppose,” Junsu glanced at the crowd of mourners. “Where are Jaejoong and Yunho?”

“Over there under the tree. I thought I’d leave them alone,” Changmin spoke sadly.

Something nagged at Junsu’s senses, but he wasn’t sure what it was.

“Were you close to Yoochun?”

“Not as close as Jaejoong and Yunho, but close enough for it to hurt. Yoochun was…is so precious. He helped so many people, always willing to sacrifice himself even for just a smile from another. He always said that a smile is priceless and acting like a silly idiot in public was nothing compared to all the smiles it would draw.”

“Wasn’t there anything bad about him? Or are we not allowed to recall the bad stuff after people have died?”

Changmin shook his head and smiled a little as if recalling a sweet memory. “He used to act like a clown at the retirement homes and orphanages. Those elders and orphans would complain that he caused them to experience too many stomachaches.”

Junsu turned his head to look at the crowd again, gathering and waiting for the ceremony to start. “He would be happy if he knew all these people were here to see him go, wouldn’t he?”

Changmin nodded. “He once told me, ‘Live your life so that when you’re born, everyone around you is laughing; and when you’re dead, everyone around you is crying.’”

“That’s selfish, isn’t it? He wants everyone to cry for him?” Junsu felt like he was trying to find a reason to not like Yoochun. He could have sworn he didn’t like the ghost four days ago when he popped up, first at the hospital corridor and then in Junsu’s room.

Changmin smiled lightly, “I can understand why you’d say that. If you’d known Yoochun, then you wouldn’t think he was selfish. I think you could have become good friends with him. If you’d known him, you would have loved him as much as we all do.”

Junsu blinked and watched Changmin walk away, towards the crowd of mourners while Junsu continued to stand in the shade of the tree.

He wanted to tell Changmin, ‘You’re wrong. I know him now and I don’t like him at all, much less love him.’

“Junsu!” his mother called for him to join the ceremony that was just now starting.

“Coming!” Junsu frowned as he walked out from under the tree and into the sun. He thought he saw movement from the corner of his eye and turned his head to see the cause.

It was Yoochun.

♥♥

He’s seen Yoochun calm. He’s seen Yoochun angry. He’s seen Yoochun allow one tear to fall from his dark eyes. And now he finally saw Yoochun cry, without turning his head away to hide a single droplet from Junsu.

Junsu sat there silently and stretched an arm over to the desk to grab the box of tissue. He wondered if he should give the whole box to Yoochun or just take one tissue out to give to the crying man. Giving him the whole box seemed too…impersonal and uncaring so Junsu pulled out one to hand to Yoochun.

Both were sitting on Junsu’s bed, Indian-style and facing each other. Yoochun’s head was low, hair falling around to curtain his face, and his hands wiping away tears or muffling sobs.

“Here,” Junsu offered the materialistic form of comfort. For a second, he wondered why Yoochun had decided to cry in front of him instead of turning invisible and crying alone in some unknown place. But Junsu wasn’t exactly complaining.

Yoochun lifted his head slightly to see the tissue. He looked at Junsu and Junsu felt uncomfortable so he looked away.

Why was he feeling uncomfortable? Because it felt like Yoochun was thinking that Junsu cared. Junsu didn’t care.

Yoochun reached out to grab the tissue, but his hand went right through it. Both stared in confusion at the area between them, where Junsu’s hand held the tissue and Yoochun’s hand couldn’t touch it.

“I…” Junsu wasn’t sure what to say. He dropped that tissue and grabbed for another one to offer, “Try this one.”

Yoochun tried again and was able to touch the tissue. Junsu was relieved because it looked like Yoochun would cry even harder.

“You shouldn’t have gone to the funeral,” Junsu murmured. “You said you wouldn’t.”

Yoochun glared at him with those black irises. “If you can’t say something right then I’d prefer it if you keep your mouth shut.”

“I’m trying to be nice!”

“No, you’re just pointing out the obvious. I didn’t ask for it.”

“That’s not…”

“You don’t do ‘nice’. You try, but you fail because you try for yourself only; you don’t try for other people,” Yoochun spoke harshly.

Junsu grew angry, even though something told him that Yoochun was just trying to pick a fight. And Junsu understood how to respond.

“You fail! Look at you! Bawling like a little girl!”

“Grown men can bawl too!” Yoochun argued.

“Not like you!”

“You act like you’ve never cried in your life!”

“I have, but at least I look good when I cry! Your face looks like a swollen tomato!”

“You squeal like a starving dolphin!”

“What the hell kind of squeal is that?”

“Listen to your own voice!”

“I do not sound like a dolphin!”

“Of course not, I change my mind. Dolphins don’t deserve to be compared to you.”

Junsu glared at him. “I’ll restrain from killing you for saying that just because I don’t hurt bawling little girls.”

Yoochun chuckled bitterly, “I’m already dead.”

Junsu mentally slapped himself for speaking without thinking. Then he heard himself whispering, “Sorry.”

“Thank you,” Yoochun sighed and that shocked Junsu.

“What?”

“Thank you for arguing with me. It’s my form of venting.”

“I realized,” Junsu shrugged proudly.

“Jaejoong used to do this for me. Eventually, Yunho understood too. I’m afraid I haven’t known Changmin long enough to experience this situation with him. But no matter how many more friends I make, it’s always Jaejoong. When I have a problem, when I need to vent, I always go to Jaejoong.”

“Oh,” Junsu murmured, feeling somewhat happy that he was able to do what Jaejoong and Yunho used to do for Yoochun. He even felt the sudden urge to boast to Changmin (who’d known Yoochun longer than Junsu had).

“Only Jaejoong. Yunho and Jaejoong would let me pick fights with them; argue with me for the longest time when I’m upset. But only Jaejoong would get into a fistfight with me. Whenever we were upset with anything, we’d lock ourselves in a room and just punch the anger out of each other. Only Jaejoong,” Yoochun spoke with such a sad smile.

Junsu had to wonder how a smile can be a smile when it only showed sadness. Weren’t smiles supposed to be symbols of happiness?

He’s seen Yoochun calm. He’s seen Yoochun angry. He’s seen Yoochun smile.

But it’s not the smile Junsu wanted to see.

Chapter 12

Junsu was lounging around the house (as usual) this morning when he saw the commercial about a jewelry store and its newly designed gift boxes. That caused him to remember the day when Yunho and Changmin barged into Jaejoong’s house.

[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“If Heebon hadn’t told us, we wouldn’t have caught an early flight back! If Heebon hadn’t told us, I would still be stupid and think that I could still give Yoochun the souvenir that he asked for!” Yunho pulled the velvet box out of his pocket and slammed it on the coffee table.

Jaejoong still had his head low, not even jumping at the sound of anger.

Junsu jumped when he heard the velvet box being slammed onto the table. It looked like a jewelry box, the squared size that was made to hold a ring.

[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

The neglected souvenir. So much was going on that everyone had forgotten about it. Where was it now? Did Yunho take it back?

Yes! Yes, he did! Junsu remembered seeing Yunho picking it up on his way out of the apartment (and slipping it into a pocket).

So Junsu made sure that Yoochun wasn’t around before slipping out to find Yunho.

Junsu glanced at his watch. It was 9:45 a.m. It’d become a habit for Yoochun to not be with Junsu anytime before 1:00 p.m. (because Junsu didn’t wake up until 1:00). So while Junsu was sleeping, Yoochun went out to visit his family and friends.

But today, Junsu had forced himself to wake up early in order to call the company that Yunho worked at and find out what his schedule was. It took some lies, but Junsu finally found out that Yunho would be meeting a client at the Timeless Café at 9:30 today.

He peaked through the windows of the café and saw the pretty man smiling politely at the client. When he and the client stood up to shake hands and bow to each other, Junsu knew it was time.

The client left and Junsu slipped into the seat before Yunho could pay the bill.

“I’ll pay for this meal,” Junsu offered.

Yunho blinked in shock. “Junsu? Uh…there’s no need. I get compensation for meals with clients.”

“No, it’s okay. I insist.”

Yunho wasn’t stupid. “Is there something I can help you with?”

Junsu nodded approvingly. Good, this should be easy.

“Oh, nothing much. I just remembered seeing a very pretty ring on your finger that day we first met. I was wondering where you got it because I want to purchase one for my…parents.”

Yunho nodded in understanding and didn’t seem too wary of Junsu anymore. Was it true that people who respected and cared for their parents were easier to like?

“Yoochun liked it too,” Yunho murmured with a sweet smile on his lips. “It’s from Tokyo. Since it can’t be found in Seoul, Yoochun asked me to buy it for him when I go on another business trip to Tokyo.”

Bingo!

“Is it the souvenir you were supposed to give him?” Junsu blurted out, wanting so, so much to know.

Why he cared so much? He didn’t know.

Yunho wasn’t sure either because he looked confused. “No, I already bought one for Yoochun the last time I was on a business trip. But it ended up being the wrong size and he suggested that I give it to Jaejoong instead.”

“Did it fit Jaejoong’s finger?”

“Fortunately, it fitted perfectly.”

Junsu found that suspicious and he wondered if Yunho shared his suspicion. If he did, he didn’t show it.

“I bet Jaejoong liked it.”

“He loved it.”

“And this time, going back, I thought I’d buy a smaller size for Yoochun…so that the three of us could each have one. We’ve been close since high school, you know?”

“Yeah, I knew,” Junsu murmured, still thinking about why Yoochun had suggested for Yunho to give the ring to Jaejoong.

“How do you know?” Yunho’s question brought him back to reality.

“Uh…um…” Junsu stammered because he couldn’t tell Yunho that the dead Yoochun had told him. So he changed the subject, “How’s Jaejoong doing? I haven’t seen him in a while.”

“I got him to go see a psychiatrist,” Yunho smiled when he talked about Jaejoong, easily distracted from the topic about how Junsu knew. “He’s taking antidepressants. It turns out his family has a history of depression and it’s actually genetic.”

“Oh,” Junsu nodded, listening tentatively.

“But Jaejoong’s case isn’t the serious type. He’ll recover. I know he will,” Yunho spoke proudly of Jaejoong.

“He will because you’re there for him,” Junsu tested Yunho’s reaction.

“Yoochun is gone. It’s my responsibility to try to cover as much of the empty space as possible…although no one could ever replace Yoochun in Jaejoong’s heart.”

Junsu nodded. Yunho would try to replace as much of Yoochun’s position in Jaejoong’s heart as possible. Junsu considered it to be impossible.

Yunho couldn’t replace Yoochun’s position as ‘best friend’. He was already more than a ‘best friend’ in Jaejoong’s heart.

Junsu just had to make him more than a ‘best friend’ in reality.

♥♥

“So you tricked Yunho into buying a ring for you, pretended it didn’t fit, and suggested he give it to Jaejoong instead?” Junsu popped the question out of nowhere.

Yoochun turned his head to look at Junsu with a raised eyebrow. “Is that where you disappeared to this morning?”

Junsu had continued to talk to Yunho about nothing (and maybe a little…or a lot about Yoochun) for a longer than intended period at the café. When they finally went separate ways, it was 12:30.

Yoochun was already in his room waiting for him when Junsu returned home.

And now he’d figured out that Junsu had gone to look for Yunho.

But Junsu had also figured out something else about the relationship between the three friends and one ring…or rather, two rings.

Ignoring Yoochun’s rhetorical question, Junsu continued, “I’m guessing you told Yunho not to tell Jaejoong that the ring was something you asked Yunho to buy for you.”

“I didn’t think you were a smart person,” Yoochun drawled.

Junsu glared. “I read a lot of mystery novels.”

Yoochun rolled his eyes. “Continue.”

“Why don’t you just tell me?”

“Isn’t it more fun to guess?”

“It’s not fun to not know.”

“Depends on how you look at it.”

“Tell me!” Junsu pouted.

Yoochun rolled his eyes again. “I noticed how much Jaejoong liked the ring when he first saw Yunho wear it. He didn’t say anything though. So I asked Yunho to buy another one for me when he went back to Tokyo.”

“You told him the wrong size though.”

“My fingers are slightly thinner than Jaejoong’s fingers,” Yoochun answered Junsu’s accusation while looking down at his hands.

“Let me see,” Junsu ordered as he leaped over to sit next to Yoochun on the bed. He took Yoochun’s hand without permission and started to examine it like he’d never seen a hand before.

Yoochun ignored it as if it was something that happened every day. He continued, “It didn’t fit so I suggested he give the ring to Jaejoong. I told him not to tell Jaejoong that it was originally for me. My excuse was that I didn’t want Jaejoong to think that he was getting a ‘second-hand’ gift just because I didn’t want it.”

Junsu stopped eyeing Yoochun’s hand and looked up into those black irises (but he didn’t let go of Yoochun’s hand). “But…”

“Yes, Yunho said that Jaejoong isn’t like that and he wouldn’t mind at all,” Yoochun admitted the truth before Junsu could point it out. “So I just asked him to do what I say without anymore questions.”

“He did it?”

“Stupid question,” Yoochun drawled.

Junsu noticed that it was a stupid question too. “Shut up.”

“He did it,” Yoochun sighed. “That’s Yunho for you. If I ask him not to question, he won’t question.”

“Do you think that he thought you were using him to give Jaejoong a ring? Maybe he thought that…you’re in love with Jaejoong, but you’re afraid to confess?” Junsu tested.

Junsu wasn’t blind. He noticed the way Yoochun acted when Jaejoong was around, the way he spoke when he told Junsu about his visits to Jaejoong every morning. And of course, there was that very first day when Yoochun told Junsu about Jaejoong.

[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“He holds his feelings in. I was the only one he would openly talk to. We were…best friends,” Yoochun explained. Junsu usually didn’t notice details, but this time, he noticed that Yoochun was (almost) reluctant to say ‘best friends’.

[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“I don’t know,” Yoochun murmured.

Junsu noticed that Yoochun wasn’t objecting to the potential idea that he was in love with Jaejoong. Junsu’s gut didn’t seem to like that idea very much.

“Well, Yunho obviously doesn’t think you did all that scheming to make Jaejoong think that Yunho was giving him a ring,” Junsu suddenly spoke in a tone that was a bit too harsh.

“Why does this even matter to you?” Yoochun tilted his head slightly.

“I…er…you…I’m supposed to play matchmaker, remember? I need to know more about them before I get them together! I want to get them together as soon as possible!”

“You want to get rid of me that quick, huh?” Yoochun cocked an eyebrow.

“Of course!” Junsu shouted, as if a loud voice would make his statement more convincing.

“Good,” was all Yoochun said.

Chapter 13

Hi, everyone. I’m into my fourth week of school now with nine more weeks to go. I’m so sorry that I can’t personally talk to you guys. I’m also sorry for the slow, slow, slow updates. I did read all your comments and for that reason, I’ve tried to complete this story. I promise that this story will be finished (hopefully in the next batch of updates). I’m really craving for the end of this semester so I can go back to writing/updating/responding like I used to.

But for now, I can just say, “I hope everyone is healthy and happy! Take care and I anticipate being able to talk to you guys again once the next nine weeks are over! Thank you so much for continuing to read this (if there is anyone still reading)! I really hope the new chapters and the ending won’t disappoint anyone! Hwaiting!”

A/N: This batch of updates isn't the end. I still need to reveal about the childhood memory, remember?. :D Take care!

♥♥

Junsu got this really uneasy feeling and it caused him to wake up from his deep slumber. Cringing his face, he craned his neck to look at the alarm clock next to his bed. It was only 10:05. He usually didn’t wake until 1:00.

He wanted to go back to sleep, but that uneasy feeling remained. He turned his head to the balcony and saw Yoochun sitting there staring at him with those black irises, casually tapping at his earlobe.

“Don’t you know it’s creepy to have someone stare at you when you’re sleeping?” Junsu grumbled while running a hand through his messy hair.

“I don’t know. I don’t sleep,” Yoochun retorted with attitude.

Junsu wondered if this was the same Park Yoochun that Changmin had talked about at the funeral. If Yoochun was so nice and loveable to everyone, why was he such a jerk to Junsu?

“What do you do at night anyway, when everyone else is sleeping?”

“I play with the toys in your closet, but don’t worry, I put them back neatly.”

Junsu scoffed. “Like I care. The workers will clean it.”

“Your mother cleans it,” Yoochun pointed out.

“I know, it’s stupid, right? I mean, if you’re going to hire a maid anyway, then why do the cleaning yourself?” Junsu rolled his eyes.

“Maybe because she loves you,” Yoochun didn’t mind being blunt.

“Your point?” Junsu raised both eyebrows.

“She’s a successful businesswoman, working along side your father. They have busy schedules to follow in order to make money for you to spend. But even with that busy schedule, she still finds time to clean your room for you. Did you know that the chef cooks every meal except for the dinners on Tuesdays and Thursdays?”

“No,” Junsu frowned, not liking where this conversation was heading.

“Your mother cooks the dinners on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She tries to find time to perform motherly tasks for you because she loves you, her son.”

“Well, she gave birth to me! It’s right that she cooks and cleans for me!” Junsu defended because Yoochun was making him sound like some hideous monster.

“Is that how it is?” Yoochun challenged, rubbing his right earlobe in amusement.

“It’s too early for this. Go away,” Junsu mumbled as he pulled the blanket over his head and turned his back to Yoochun.

“Why do you sleep in so late anyway? You always skip breakfast, but your parents always remain in the house during breakfast time, hoping you would walk down and eat with them.”

Junsu pushed the blanket off and sat up to glare at Yoochun. “What the hell? Are you stalking my parents or something?”

“I have to do something while you’re snoring away like a pig until 1:00 every single day,” Yoochun spoke so calmly that it pissed Junsu off even more.

“Why don’t you go away? Go visit Jaejoong or your family!” Junsu shooed.

“My parents are back to work and Heebon is back in school. Jaejoong is at an appointment with the psychiatrist.”

Junsu frowned. “Go away.”

“Wake up. Let’s go find you a job.”

Junsu’s jaw dropped. “What? Who do you think you are? My parents aren’t even making me work!”

“You’re twenty-five, but you lounge around the house all the time doing nothing,” Yoochun pointed out a matter-of-factly.

“That’s my business.”

“You’re pathetic.”

“I don’t need to work.”

“You’re too lucky.”

“I have my parents.”

“You don’t realize just how valuable your parents are to you. You see that they give you money, but do you see that they give you love too?”

“Are you going to start preaching again? I can’t hear you!” Junsu clamped both hands over each ear and slid under the blanket again.

Yoochun walked over and pulled the blanket off. “Wake up.”

“What? No!”

“Okay, forget the job search. Wake up. I’m going to teach you how to cook a dish.”

Junsu blinked. Yoochun was offering to teach him how to cook. Something about that seemed very appealing.

“Okay!”

Fifteen minutes later, Junsu walked downstairs to see Yoochun in the large living room looking at all the pictures decorating the walls. It most likely wasn’t his first time seeing those pictures, but he still paid fascination to each. At the moment, he was looking at a family picture of baby Junsu and both parents.

Junsu wanted to say something like, ‘Never seen such a cute baby before, have you?’ but then he saw the maids and butler shuffling around. They greeted him, but he made no effort to greet them nicely.

“I want the mansion to myself today. You all can leave.”

They all blinked in shock. “But…”

“You’re still going to get paid for today. I’ll tell my parents when they come back from work. Now go!”

Still confused, everyone took their belongings and left Junsu alone in the mansion (or so they thought).

“You could have said that in a nicer way,” Yoochun pointed out.

“That’s none of your business. They’re my employees, not my friends.”

“Who are your friends anyway?”

Junsu opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His brows furrowed. “I…it’s my parents’ fault. They were always so protective and worried for my health that they didn’t let me out of the house so I couldn’t make friends.”

“Excuses,” Yoochun rolled his eyes, index finger tapping on the shell of his ear.

“Truths,” Junsu corrected. “Now are you going to teach me how to cook or not?”

“Let’s go see what’s available in the kitchen.”

“Ha! You’ll find everything! My kitchen is like a super market! They have to be prepared for when I crave something.”

“Yes, of course, always for you,” Yoochun drawled sardonically.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it means. Go pull on an apron.”

Junsu looked through the drawers and finally found an apron. He put it on and twirled around in front of Yoochun. “Well? How do I look?”

“The same, except with an apron on now,” Yoochun retorted, arms crossed and leaning against the wall.

Junsu frowned. Couldn’t the guy…er…ghost be a little more sensitive? Junsu had chosen to wear one of his favorite shirts today too. His shirt matched the designer frames for his glasses. Did Yoochun notice that he was wearing glasses instead of contact lenses today? Guess not.

Yoochun went through the kitchen and easily decided on a dish. “We’ll make Dduk Bok Gi.”

“Is that your favorite?” Junsu inquired with curious eyes.

“It doesn’t matter,” Yoochun replied. “Let’s get started.”

Yoochun was probably planning on standing to the side and instructing through words. But that didn’t quite work out. The process of putting the rice cakes into the large bowl of water was simple enough, but all hell broke lose after that first step.

“Now what?” Junsu asked after putting the pot of water on the stove.

“Put the lid on so that the water will boil faster. While it’s boiling, you can cut the onion and fishcakes.”

“Okay! Onions first!” Junsu grabbed for the round vegetable and a knife.

“Wait!” Yoochun tried to stop him, but Junsu already brought the knife down and sliced the onion into two (surprisingly) proportional pieces.

Junsu started to shriek, “My eyes! My eyes! It burns! It burns!”

“Calm down! Calm down! Don’t rub your eyes!” Yoochun grabbed both of Junsu’s wrists to prevent him from rubbing the tear-filled eyes.

“It burns! I’m going blind! Why? Why me?” the man started to turn hysteric.

Chapter 14

“You’re not going blind! It’s just the onion!”

“Really?” Junsu asked in a fearful tone, looking like a cute child.

And Yoochun chuckled. Yoochun actually chuckled! And at Junsu’s misery, nonetheless. But it was still a chuckle.

“I was going to tell you to cut out the roots first because that’s the part that makes it most acidic. It would have been better if you were wearing your contact lenses though.”

Junsu blinked in a not so normal way and smiled, “You noticed that I’m not wearing contact lenses?”

“Well, unless you’re supposed to wear contact lenses with glasses, then yeah, I’d assume that you don’t have your contacts in.”

Yoochun released both of Junsu’s wrists (to Junsu’s disappointment) and tried to remove the glasses. His hands went right through them and Junsu didn’t miss the disappointment in Yoochun’s eyes.

Junsu removed the glasses on his own and squinted at the designer frame. “So…you still can’t control what you can and cannot touch?”

“I guess not,” Yoochun murmured. Then he looked into Junsu’s eyes and Junsu looked into his eyes, those black irises. “Your eyes should be fine.”

“Can we not add onion? I don’t want to cut it,” Junsu glared at the two halves sitting on the counter next to the knife he’d dropped.

“Onion enhances the taste. How about you light a candle and put it next to you while you chop the onions? It’ll lure the aroma to the heat instead of your eyes.”

“Really?”

“Yes, my mother taught me this technique.”

Junsu wondered if he’d have trusted Yoochun with this silly technique a little more than a week ago (when they’d first met). Now, he didn’t really feel like he should NOT trust Yoochun. He went to find a candle and lit it next to the cutting board on the counter.

It worked.

“Check on the water to see if it’s boiling. We want it to simmer,” Yoochun instructed.

Junsu walked over to the stove and reached out to take off the lid.

“Wait!”

Too late again. Junsu tried to pick up the lid with his bare fingers and ended up dropped the lid because of the burning sting on his fingers.

“My fingers! My fingers! They’re burning! I’m going to lose my fingers!” he exaggerated once again.

“Calm down!” Yoochun allayed as he took Junsu’s hand into his own. He pulled Junsu’s hand up so that the burning fingers clamped onto one of Junsu’s earlobes. “Better?”

Junsu was in awe. With his thumb and index finger clamped onto his own earlobe, the burning feeling began to fade. “Amazing,” he gasped.

“Useful,” Yoochun shrugged.

“This is cool. What if I did this?” Junsu released his own ear and extended his arm to touch Yoochun’s earlobe.

Nothing. No cooling effect. Was it because his fingers were already cooled down by his own earlobe? Maybe he should touch that burning lid again…

“This technique works for the reason that earlobes have fatty tissues and cartilage that are good conductors of heat. I don’t have those tissues and cartilages because I’m a ghost,” Yoochun pointed out.

Junsu retrieved his hand from Yoochun’s ear. “Oh.”

Yoochun’s eyes shifted away from Junsu and at the pot. “Grab a towel and take off the lid!”

And so the procedure continued: Yoochun continued to teach and Junsu continued to fail. But of course, miracles can happen and Junsu eventually reached the last task…two hours later.

“Now what?”

“Let it simmer for five minutes. If the ingredients are all coated with thickened sauce and the dduk are soft then you’re done.”

“Thank goodness!” Junsu sighed from relief. “This dish is too hard to cook. Teach me something easier next time.”

“It’s supposed to be an easy dish,” Yoochun pointed out.

“It took two hours!”

“It takes a normal person thirty minutes.”

“Well, I’m certainly not a ‘normal person’. I’m a ‘person being instructed by a ghost’! It’s your fault!” Junsu gladly concluded.

Yoochun rolled his eyes as he leaned casually against the counter. Then he asked, “How are your fingers?”

Junsu looked down at his fingers that were no longer red from the burn. He wiggled them cutely at Yoochun, “Still attached.”

“How unfortunate,” Yoochun sighed.

“Not as unfortunate as still being attached to you!” Junsu countered.

Yoochun shrugged indifferently. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll miss me when I finally leave.”

“That would take a miracle!”

Yoochun turned his head to look at the digital clock on the microwave. Seeing that it wasn’t time, he went back to the casual conversation. He glanced at the simmering pot of dduk bok gi and said, “Miracles happen.”

♥♥

“Do miracles happen?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe.”

Junsu listened to the whispered conversation between his parents and automatically rolled his eyes. They were being too dramatic for no reason, so Junsu exclaimed in defense, “Why does it seem like a miracle that I cooked dinner for you two?”

“Son, it’s just…we didn’t know you could cook,” Mrs. Kim tried to save her son’s pride.

“Yeah, right, they’re more shocked that you did something FOR them,” Yoochun said. He stood next to Junsu and was the one who instructed Junsu to tell Mr. and Mrs. Kim that their son had cooked the dduk bok gi especially for them.

“Take a seat. I’m going to go scoop it into bowls,” Junsu told his parents before disappearing into the kitchen. Yoochun followed and Junsu was able to glare at Yoochun (without looking like a crazy idiot to his parents).

“They look happy,” Yoochun said, rubbing his earlobe and nodding lightly.

“They make it seem like I’m a horrible son or something,” Junsu scoffed.

“They’ll never see that you are a horrible son,” Yoochun noted, ignoring Junsu’s glare. “You need to stop your automated urges to glare at me.”

“You need to stop your automated habit of insulting me,” Junsu retorted. He took out two bowls from the cabinet and filled them with the dduk bok gi in the pot. After putting them on a tray, he brought it out to the dining table where his parents sat (still in shock).

“It looks really delicious, Sweetie,” Mrs. Kim smiled beautifully at her son.

Junsu just hummed a small, “Uh-huh,” as he concentrated on placing each bowl in front of each person, too busy to bring his eyes up to make eye contact with his proud parents.

“It doesn’t look delicious. Trust me, I’m not your parents,” Yoochun’s voice peeped in. Junsu resisted the urge to glare.

“Let’s eat!” Mr. Kim cheered as Junsu placed the tray on the table and sat down in a chair. He watched his parents take a taste and found that he was eager to find out what they thought.

They took a small bite. Their eyes shifted back and forth. They looked at each other. Junsu found himself gripping the edge of the table.

“Well?” he inquired.

“It’s…very delicious,” Mrs. Kim smiled. Junsu clapped and grinned widely.

Then he turned to his father who smiled as well, “Very good.”

“Ha! I’m good!” Junsu did a little victory dance and his parents’ smiles turned into grins. “There’s more in the kitchen! Eat more!”

His parents shared eye contact again before taking a second, and then a third, bite.

“Why don’t you eat some?” Yoochun suggested.

“I’m going to go get myself a bowl!” Junsu giggled as he took a step towards the kitchen.

“Wait!” his mother stopped him. “It’s really good and dduk bok gi is your father’s favorite. You should let us eat it all.”

Junsu now understood why Yoochun had picked dduk bok gi. Maybe he’ll teach Junsu how to cook one of his mother’s favorites tomorrow or something.

“Really? You like it that much?” Junsu asked.

“Yes,” his mother smiled lovingly. Junsu was sure that he got his beautiful, soft features from her.

“Your mother can make you something else to eat,” Mr. Kim offered. “What would you like to eat tonight?”

“Hmm…I don’t know,” Junsu tapped at his chin as he considered the question.

“Go upstairs to shower and you’ll figure out what you crave by the time you’re done,” Yoochun said.

Junsu wasn’t sure why Yoochun suggested that, but it didn’t sound like a bad idea. So he told his parents, “I’m going to go shower and I’ll figure out what I want when I’m done.”

“Okay, take your time,” Mr. Kim nodded.

Junsu turned on his heels and ran upstairs. He was hoping he’d make it there before Yoochun, but Yoochun was already sitting on the chair in his room when he got there. He closed the door to the room.

“Do I look like I need a shower?” Junsu demanded.

“No, but you being up here to shower will give your parents enough time to dispose of the dduk bok gi,” Yoochun replied.

Chapter 15

“What? Dispose? As in eat?”

“No, as in ‘trash’. It’s disgusting stuff.”

Junsu grew angry. “They said it was really good!”

“They’re your parents! They’re not the best parents, but they’re still your parents.”

Junsu suddenly didn’t like that statement. “What do you mean they aren’t the ‘best parents’? You think yours are better than mine?”

“Are you asking me that because they’re YOUR parents or because you really think that they’re the best parents in the world…even if they aren’t YOUR parents?”

“You don’t make sense.”

“I’m trying to make sense of WHY you’re defending them. It’s rare to see you defend your parents.”

“I’m so sick of you always picking on me and how I treat my parents. Why don’t you pick on other people?”

“It’s fun to pick on you,” Yoochun drawled. “It might be the only thing I’ll miss when I finally leave.”

♥♥

“Let’s go visit Jaejoong today.”

Junsu frowned, because he suddenly felt irritated for some unknown reason. He was sitting here peacefully watching his least favorite drama (because Yoochun picked the channel) and Yoochun had to go and ruin it. “Why?”

Yoochun turned his head to give Junsu a ‘What’s wrong with you?’ look. But then, it wasn’t anything surprising for Junsu to suddenly grow irritated (or irritating).

“What do you mean why? He’s been seeing the psychiatrist for almost a week now. You should go see if it’s helping. And you’re supposed to play Cupid, remember?”

“Don’t compare me to Cupid. Diapers are ugly,” Junsu felt like picking a fight for no apparent reason.

“You’re ugly,” Yoochun insulted like he would insult a best friend. “Now get dressed.”

“Do you really think I’m ugly?” Junsu pretended to act sad.

“Uglier than me,” Yoochun replied, raising a hand to play with his earlobe (and somewhat cover his lips from Junsu’s view). Luckily, Junsu saw the little lift on the side of his lips and knew that he was trying not to smile…or chuckle.

“That’s not bad,” Junsu decided. He went through his walk-in closet for a nice outfit.

“The sky is very beautiful today,” Yoochun made casual conversation.

Hearing that, Junsu reached for a sky-blue T-shirt.

“I love the sun. Is it normal for a ghost to love the sun?” Yoochun joked, not expecting Junsu to answer or maybe he didn’t even think Junsu was listening.

Junsu dropped the sky-blue T-shirt and searched for a bright yellow button-up.

“The grass looks so refreshing,” Yoochun continued.

Junsu had just found a yellow shirt, which he threw to the side as he went in search for a refreshing green shirt.

“Those pink flowers in your mother’s garden are very…”

“Stop it already!” Junsu shouted, stomping out of the walk-in closet like a madman.

Yoochun blinked innocently. “What?”

“Blue, yellow, green, or pink! Pick one!”

“Why?” Yoochun raised an eyebrow at the shorter man.

“Pick your favorite color!” was all Junsu demanded.

“Brat,” Yoochun mumbled. “None of those are my favorite though.”

“Okay, what’s your favorite color?”

“Red, why?”

“Nothing,” Junsu waved him off before running back into the closet. Yoochun started talking about ramen, but Junsu wasn’t listening this time.

Several minutes later, Junsu emerged wearing khakis and a red polo. “How do I look?”

“Like a Brat. Can we go now?”

Junsu stuck his nose up in a haughty manner and boasted a cute, “Hmph,” before walking to the door.

“Red looks good on you,” Yoochun finally said as they walked through the empty corridor.

“Really?” Junsu’s eyes glowed.

Or maybe the corridor wasn’t empty after all. Yoochun stood there staring at the butler. The butler stared at Junsu, eyes shifting to see if he was missing something. Junsu stopped smiling at Yoochun (or in the butler’s eyes: thin air) and greeted the butler.

“Hi, Uncle Butler. Tell my parents I won’t be coming home tonight.”

Junsu bit back the urge to yell, ‘Race you to the car!’ at Yoochun before running down the stairs. When they were alone again in Junsu’s car, he took the opportunity to pick another fight.

“Look what you did! Now he thinks I’m crazy!” Junsu hissed.

“It’s better than having him think you’re a Brat.”

“Is that your new favorite word?” Junsu’s eyes turned into evil slits.

“It’s your new name,” Yoochun retorted. Junsu started to drive and Yoochun continued, “I think you didn’t scare him because you were talking to a ghost that he can only suspect is there. He looked more scared…or shocked when you called him ‘Uncle Butler’ and left a message for your parents.”

Junsu blinked as he turned the wheel. “Why would that be scary…or shocking?”

“You used to always call your employees ‘You’ or ‘Hey’.”

“You’re very observant, aren’t you?”

“It’s a curse,” Yoochun shrugged casually, tapping lightly at the shell of his ear.

Junsu would have preferred it if Yoochun said, ‘Only observant of you,’ but it didn’t happen. So oh, well, whatever.

“And what about leaving a message for my parents?”

“You never did that before either. Even I’m shocked to see it happen.”

Junsu glared for a quick second before turning his eyes back on the road. “You make me sound so bad!”

“You were bad,” Yoochun pointed out.

“No!” Junsu defended. “I just seem bad on the outside. I’m like one of those cool, aloof heroes in those romance stories.”

“Those guys are charming and hot. You’re not.”

“You’re not either,” Junsu argued.

“I’d rather be ‘warm’.”

Junsu rolled his eyes, but still smiled because Yoochun had that cheeky look on his cute face. Um…face, just face…not ‘cute’ face.

They talked about random nothingness for the rest of the drive. When they were at Jaejoong’s apartment, Yoochun had to remind, “Now shut your mouth. We can’t have them thinking you’re crazy too. They wouldn’t want to know that my beautiful heart went to a crazy brat like you.”

“Your heart is thankful that it gets to belong to me,” Junsu huffed with attitude. He rang the doorbell.

Yunho answered the door, looking ever so handsome in a striped, deep-V shirt and jeans.

“Hello, Junsu!” he greeted with a smile. Junsu wondered if Yoochun wished that Yunho could say ‘Hello, Yoochun!’

“Hi, Yunho! Nice to see you here.”

“You’re just in time. We were talking about calling you over.”

Junsu blinked, a little shocked. “Really? Why?”

“The psychiatrist said that Jaejoong is recovering fairly quickly so we thought we’d celebrate tonight. I’m cooking. Would you care to join?”

“Um…yeah, I’d love to. Thank you for inviting me,” Junsu suddenly felt the need to be so polite. Then he wondered if Yoochun knew about tonight’s homemade dinner and, therefore, suggested for Junsu to come over.

“Jaejoong is in the shower and Changmin is on his way over. Have a seat,” Yunho invited as if it were his own home. Good. Really good.

“Actually, is there another restroom?” Junsu inquired.

“Yes, right over there,” the older man directed.

“Thanks.”

Junsu walked towards the bathroom and once the door closed, he turned to look at Yoochun. “You knew about tonight’s dinner, didn’t you?”

Yoochun shrugged, playing with the end of a bath towel. It was white as snow and almost as fluffy. “Maybe.”

“You did!”

“I did,” he easily admitted this time, turning his head to look at the mirror and only saw Junsu’s reflection.

Junsu noticed and turned his back to the mirror, refusing to look at it. “Well?” he crossed his arms and frowned at Yoochun, hoping to draw the ghost’s attention away from the fact that he had no reflection.

“I overheard it when I was visiting Jaejoong this morning. They mentioned inviting you, but I wasn’t sure if they would. You’re not the nicest person in the world, you know?”

“Right, of course, Jaejoong is the nicest person in the world,” Junsu drawled. “When are you going to stop saying that I’m this bad or that bad?”

Chapter 16

Yoochun blinked, looking confused by Junsu’s reaction. Man, even Junsu was confused by his reaction. What ticked him off this time? Yoochun knowing about something and not telling him? Yoochun’s continuous comparison of how bad Junsu is? Knowing that Yoochun would never, ever have a reflection again?

“If it makes you feel better, then I think you’re starting to be a better person.”

Junsu opened his mouth, although unsure of what to say. Then there came the knocking at the door.

“Junsu? Are you okay in there?” Yunho sounded worried.

“Great, now he probably thinks I talk to the toilet!” Junsu hissed lowly at Yoochun.

He’d been cautious at first, but it was only two week or some later and he was letting his guard down. He was acting like Yoochun was a normal person he could talk to, instead of a ghost that no one else could see. Junsu had to remember to remind himself: Yoochun is a ghost.

Junsu opened the bathroom door to walk out before Yoochun could throw him another smart-ass remark. Yunho and Jaejoong stood at the door.

“Oh, hi, Jaejoong! What’s up?”

“Hello, Junsu,” Jaejoong paused, sharing a nervous glance with Yunho. “We thought we heard you talking to someone in there…”

“Oh, I was on my cell phone. It’s nothing,” Junsu lied.

“Oh! Okay, that makes sense!” Yunho looked relieved. The doorbell rang. “That must be Changmin. I’ll go get the door!”

Junsu couldn’t say another word as he watched Yunho dash out excitedly. Yunho looked a little too happy…and when Junsu looked at Jaejoong, he knew that Jaejoong noticed too.

“Come on, let’s go eat,” Jaejoong smiled handsomely.

Junsu nodded. As he walked next to Jaejoong, he tried to ignore Yoochun (who was on his other side), whispering, “You’re getting better with the excuses. Maybe I should try to make people think you’re crazy and let you practice with the lies.”

♥♥

“So now what?” Junsu inquired as he rubbed his happy stomach. Yunho was such a great cook. Jaejoong would be so lucky to marry him.

Junsu looked over at Jaejoong and saw the older man turning his head slightly, lowering it as his brows furrowed a little. Junsu blinked and immediately turned to Yunho. Yunho was busy looking at Jaejoong with sad eyes so Junsu resorted to asking Changmin.

Junsu’s eyes asked, ‘Did I say something wrong?’

Changmin sighed and spoke, “Yoochun used to be the one planning events.”

“Oh,” Junsu murmured, feeling guilty.

“Sorry,” Jaejoong whispered. “Let’s…go catch a movie or maybe the…arcade?”

Junsu noticed that Jaejoong was trying to redeem himself. His first reaction was to look sad when he thought of Yoochun. He knew the others wouldn’t like it so he immediately tried to act like he wasn’t hurting.

Junsu concluded that ‘Pain’ just may be the hardest thing to pretend to NOT have.

“It’s okay,” Yunho touched Jaejoong’s arm, giving him permission to remember…just don’t remember for too long.

“Which do you prefer, Junsu?” Changmin tried to break the thick atmosphere.

“Um…” Junsu was about to pick ‘arcade’.

But Yoochun suddenly appeared out of nowhere and said, “Movies.”

“But I like the arcade,” Junsu whispered to the ghost, trying his best not to move his lips.

“Arcade?” Changmin had heard and thought Junsu was talking to himself.

“Movies!” Yoochun’s voice was firm.

Junsu made a note to give Yoochun a ‘dirty look’ later. If he did it now, it’d look like he was hissing at a vase.

“Let’s go to the movies,” Junsu finally replied.

“I thought I heard you say ‘Arcade’,” Changmin raised an eyebrow at him.

“No, I’d prefer going to the movies,” Junsu tried not to look disappointed.

“Are you sure?” Jaejoong inquired, as if knowing that Junsu wasn’t sure.

“I’m sure.”

“Really sure?” Jaejoong tried again, looking kind of desperate this time. It wasn’t like he knew that Junsu wanted the arcade, it was more like he wanted Junsu to want to go to the arcade.

“Jaejoong,” Yunho spoke softly as his hand lowered to touch Jaejoong’s hand.

“I’m sorry,” Jaejoong sighed. “Let’s go to the movies then. I heard a new scary movie is out and it’s really good.”

The others nodded and prepared to leave the house. Jaejoong and Yunho walked out first while Junsu and Changmin followed.

“He’s trying. We have to be patient,” Changmin murmured.

“He’ll get through it, especially since he has Yunho with him,” Junsu smiled. When Changmin didn’t say anything, Junsu raised his head to look at the taller man. “Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing is wrong,” Changmin spoke softly with a (forced) smile. “Everything is right.”

♥♥

“Arcade would have been more fun,” Junsu pouted as he pounded light fists into his pillow.

“Jaejoong wanted you to pick ‘Arcade’ because it’s my favorite place. I hate going to the movies,” Yoochun didn’t mind being blunt as he stood at the balcony, staring at the half-moon.

“Oh,” Junsu murmured. “I…didn’t think of that.”

“You didn’t know. It’s okay.”

Right, Junsu didn’t know Yoochun like Jaejoong did. Well, hell, that’s not his fault!

“Tonight was fun. I’ve never hung out with a group like that before,” Junsu was being honest and he saw Yoochun smile again. He liked to note every time Yoochun smiled.

“It’s really nice that you can fit in so well with them.”

“Maybe they give me a chance because I’ve got your heart…literally, not figuratively,” Junsu looked down at the certain area on his chest.

“Who knows?” Yoochun shrugged, rubbing his earlobe with an index finger and thumb. “Just make sure you cherish their friendship.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You have a tendency to not cherish what comes easy to you.”

“Shut up,” Junsu frowned. Yoochun was taking another chance to jab at Junsu’s personality. Didn’t he ever get sick of that? Can’t he notice the good stuff about Junsu?

“So what do you plan to do next?”

“Huh?”

“You haven’t made a single move to bring them together.”

“Well, Jaejoong is still recovering. I was just…giving him some time.”

“You’re dragging it out. The longer it takes, the longer I stay around to bother you. You don’t want that, do you?” Yoochun reminded.

“Of course not!” Junsu immediately shouted loudly. Why so loud? He didn’t know.

“Good, so get moving.”

“Um…I’ll think about it.”

“Have an idea by tomorrow. Now go to sleep, it’s late.”

Junsu glanced at the clock in his room. “It’s only 12.”

“That’s late. If you sleep earlier then you might wake up earlier.”

Junsu thought about it. True. Maybe he should start waking up earlier now. “Okay, fine.”

♥♥

“I have two tickets to a show. They’re VIP seats because my dad does business with the director. I’m too busy to go so I thought I’d give these to you two,” Junsu smiled cheerfully as he offered the two tickets to Jaejoong and Yunho.

“That’s very kind of you,” Yunho smiled in return as he accepted the tickets to scan for information. “I’ve heard of this show! It’s very popular!”

Jaejoong’s eyes were soft as he watched the happiness on Yunho’s expression. He turned to Junsu with genuine appreciation in his eyes as he said, “Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome!” Junsu responded happily. If he could, he would have turned around to give Yoochun a high-five for the success of his plan.

“We were about to go out for lunch. Do you want to come?” Yunho invited.

“Oh, no, that’s okay. I’m actually meeting up with my parents for lunch,” Junsu checked his watch. He was extremely early for the lunch-date with his parents, but they didn’t have to know. “Bye!”

Junsu twirled around to leave and didn’t see the small slip of paper calling from his back pocket.

“Junsu, you dropped something,” Yunho pointed out as he knelt down to pick up the small slip.

Junsu glanced over at Yoochun and saw the ghost slap a hand over his eyes as he grumbled something. Then Junsu turned to see what he had dropped (what had made Yoochun grumble like that).

“A third ticket?” Jaejoong looked over Yunho’s shoulder to read.

Chapter 17

Shoot! It was the third ticket that Junsu was supposed to use to get in and stalk the couple (just to make sure they were getting lovely-dovey with each other)

Now Junsu felt the urge to slap his hand over his eyes like Yoochun had done.

“Oh, um…I had three, but I thought I lost that one so…I thought I only had two left…um…something like that.”

“Smart-move, Brat,” Yoochun’s voice dripped sarcasm. Junsu looked up at the ceiling just so his eyes wouldn’t turn to glare at the ghost.

“Well, since there’s a third ticket…” Yunho murmured. “…and you’re busy then do you mind if I take this too? I know another person who would love to go.”

“Um…”

“You already seem like a weirdo anyway. Tell them you’re suddenly interested and want to go!” Yoochun ordered.

“Junsu?” Yunho inquired, eyes hopeful. Those pretty, sincere features were too hard to reject.

Maybe if Junsu looked away…

“Tell them you want to go now. Then you can pretend to be sick right before the show starts,” Yoochun continued.

“Junsu?”

“Okay,” Junsu smiled uneasily.

“Thank you so much!” Yunho grinned happily. Jaejoong was just standing there, watching the scene with a small, unreadable smile.

♥♥

Yoochun was pacing back and forth in Junsu’s room while Junsu was curled up in his bubble chair.

“Why didn’t you do what I said?” Yoochun demanded.

“Did you see the look on Yunho’s face? I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.”

“Since when did you care for other people’s feelings? You helped him and defied me! Sorry if I’m not as pretty as him!” Yoochun hissed.

Junsu was shocked. Yoochun thought Junsu had agreed to Yunho’s request because of what?

“That’s not…”

“Do you realize what you’ve done?” Yoochun interrupted.

“Maybe that friend of his won’t go,” Junsu tried to sound hopeful.

“Changmin will go.”

“The friend is Changmin? I didn’t know.”

If he had the time, Junsu would have wondered why Yunho didn’t just say that ‘Changmin’ would want to go.

“Well, now you do!”

“Why are you so angry? Do you think Yunho is actually in love with Changmin?”

“No!” Yoochun protested immediately and Junsu was shocked. Then Yoochun lowered the volume of his voice, trying to regain composure, “No, he’s not in love with Changmin.”

“How do you know? I mean, it’s clear that he cares for Changmin…”

“He cares for Jaejoong more. He cared for me a lot too, but that doesn’t mean he was in love with me. There’s a thin line between love and friendship.”

“Thin line?”

“Thin and blurred. But I can guarantee you; Yunho isn’t in love with Changmin.”

“Then why did he want that third ticket for Changmin?”

“Changmin is like…family to him, a blood brother. Changmin really likes that show so Yunho wanted to bring him along. It’s that simple.”

Junsu kept his eyes on Yoochun’s face, but Yoochun turned away so Junsu couldn’t read his expression. “Trust me, Junsu. Just trust me on this.”

Junsu sat back into the bubble chair and curled his legs up to rest his chin on his knees. He stopped trying to get a look at Yoochun’s expression.

“Okay, I trust you.”

♥♥

“I’m cold,” Junsu complained as he rubbed his arms with his gloved hands.

“It’s your fault,” Yoochun blamed.

“I don’t control the weather!”

“You could have been smart and not keep that third ticket in your back pocket!”

Junsu frowned and didn’t have a retort to that. He continued to stand outside the large theatre, shaking like crazy. He’d followed Yunho, Jaejoong, and Changmin here, but was unable to go in to stalk them.

“That stupid security guard. If he’d just let me in…”

“You can’t blame him for doing his job,” Yoochun pointed out.

“Fine,” Junsu huffed. He was so sick and tired of Yoochun always picking on him. And now he was too cold to be throwing retorts back at the meanie.

“I don’t know if this will help since I don’t have any body heat, but…” Yoochun didn’t finish his statement. He just stepped closer to Junsu and wrapped his arms around the shorter man.

Junsu blinked and his body tensed. What was going on?

“Um…” he stammered. He was wearing a thick jacket and wondered if Yoochun’s body had caused imprints on it. But no one was around to see.

“It doesn’t help, does it?” Yoochun sighed as his arms loosened.

“No, no! It helps! Psychological, you know? I know there are arms around me so my brain is telling my body that I’m not that cold after all,” Junsu tried to sound reasonable.

Yoochun chuckled, as if knowing that Junsu was making this whole thing up. “Okay, if you say so,” he tightened his embrace again.

Junsu allowed himself to lean back slightly into Yoochun’s chest. He noticed that when he shivered, Yoochun would tighten the hold. So Junsu purposely shivered a little.

“Maybe we should go wait in the car until the show ends,” Yoochun suggested. Junsu noticed that Yoochun’s lips were really close to his ear.

Junsu shivered a little at the closeness (not on purpose this time). Yoochun thought it was because he was really cold.

“Let’s go. The show won’t be over for another…,” Yoochun grabbed Junsu’s hand to check the watch on his wrist. “…half an hour.”

“No, no, let’s stand here to wait. We don’t know where they parked and we don’t want to miss them when they walk out. It’s going to be a big crowd so if I’m standing here, I won’t miss them.”

“But…”

“The show doesn’t end that late. They’ll definitely do something afterwards so I should be here to follow them,” Junsu reasoned.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It doesn’t feel too cold anymore,” Junsu grinned, hoping he looked cute with this grin.

“We don’t know where they parked so how will you be able to follow them afterwards? You parked on the other side of the lot.”

“When they come out, you can get closer to them and listen to their conversation. Find out their plans and then come tell me,” Junsu suggested.

“Oh, yeah, why didn’t I think of that?”

“Because I’m smart and you’re not,” Junsu joked.

Yoochun rolled his eyes. “Of course.”

Junsu looked up at the stars and found himself humming a small tune. Then his upper body swayed left to right, right to left as if dancing to the tune. Yoochun swayed left and right with him and Junsu wondered what it would be like to dance with Yoochun.

“Well, since we only need me to find out where they’re going afterwards then I can stand here by myself. I’ll see them as soon as they come out and I’ll go find you in your car. You go back to the car right now and…”

“No, I’m fine,” Junsu interrupted.

“You’re going to get sick. It’s seems awfully cold tonight.”

“I’m fine,” Junsu assured, trying to go back to humming and swaying.

“Junsu…”

“I’m fine,” he insisted, wishing Yoochun would shut up and just sway (dance) with him.

“There’s no point in you standing here…”

“I like it!” Junsu exclaimed. “Now just let me finish humming this song.”

Yoochun was quiet and Junsu mentally slapped himself for sounding so bossy and rude. He wished he could turn around and look at Yoochun, but at the same time, he enjoyed having Yoochun hug him from behind.

“Sorry,” Junsu murmured.

“What song are you humming?” Yoochun inquired, showing that he’d forgiven Junsu for the rudeness.

“It’s a song called, ‘Tonight’. They say it’s a song that makes people fall in love again,” Junsu found himself saying, wanting to say.

“That’s…nice,” Yoochun replied in a weird voice. Junsu wanted to turn around to see Yoochun’s expression, but Yoochun just tightened the embrace to prevent Junsu from turning. “Keep humming, it might distract you from the cold.”

“There are other factors to distract me from the cold,” Junsu murmured softly, lowering his head to look at the arms circling his body.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Chapter 18

The remaining time passed with Junsu humming song after song and leading Yoochun in a simple sway of the upper body. When they checked his watch a second time, it indicated that thirty minutes passed by pretty quick (even if you’re just standing there humming and swaying).

Junsu also noted that it was only eight, but he felt so, very tired. Of course, he wasn’t going to tell Yoochun.

The large doors to the theatre opened and people began to storm out. Junsu was disappointed when Yoochun released him.

“Go back to the car. I’ll find them and let you know as soon…”

“It’s a big crowd. I’ll help you find them,” Junsu pulled the hood of his jacket over his head and followed Yoochun towards the crowd. He pulled his scarf up slightly so that his face was covered and the other three wouldn’t recognize him.

“You’re too stubborn. I can find them on my own,” Yoochun frowned as his eyes searched the large crowd of people exiting the building.

“There they are!” Junsu pointed out (thankfully the crowd was big enough that no one questioned who he was talking to).

“I’ll follow them. You go get your car!” Yoochun instructed.

Feeling a bit reluctant to leave, Junsu turned and made his way to the other side of the parking lot. He eventually found his car and got in, turning up the heater immediately.

He turned towards his right to fasten his seatbelt (a habit that Yoochun had nagged him into remembering). When he turned back towards the wheel, he nearly jumped out of his skin. Yoochun was sitting in the passenger seat.

“Oh, my gosh! When did you get here? Why didn’t I hear you?” Junsu gasped, frightened by the sudden appearance.

“I’m a ghost,” Yoochun reminded sarcastically.

Right, Junsu had (almost) forgotten.

“That was quick. You know where they’re going?”

“They’re going to a restaurant for a late dinner. Do you know where ‘Timeless’ is?”

“Yeah, I followed Yunho there once. Is that where they’re going?”

“Yes, but we’re trying to create alone time for them, remember? Do you have Changmin’s phone number?”

“Um…yeah,” Junsu pulled out his cell phone from his pocket.

“Okay, call him and tell him that you’re having computer troubles. Ask him to come help you,” Yoochun ordered.

“But…I don’t even know that he knows how to fix computers. The topic never came up.”

“Just say that he told you once, but he forgot.”

Junsu blinked. “I don’t think Changmin is that dumb.”

“Junsu,” Yoochun nagged.

“Okay, okay,” Junsu surrendered. He dialed Changmin’s number, remembering that day Changmin had exchanged numbers with him, telling Junsu that if Junsu ever needed help with anything then he was always welcome to call Changmin.

“Hello?” the younger man’s voice came from the other line.

“Hey, Changmin! It’s Junsu.”

“Hey, how’s it going?”

“Great, I mean…not too good. My computer broke down while I was working on a…um…job application. I remember you telling me that you have some experience with computers so I was wondering if you can come take a look at it for me. It’s…um…important.”

Changmin was silent for a moment and Junsu knew that he was trying to recall when he had told Junsu that he had experience with computers. But he still replied, “Okay, are you home? I can be there in fifteen minutes.”

“Great! Thanks so much! I’ll see you in fifteen!”

“Okay, see you then,” Changmin said nicely before hanging up.

“Now I have to head home and find out how to crash my computer,” Junsu grumbled as he started the engine.

“You keep Changmin busy. I’m going to go follow Yunho and Jaejoong to make sure they’re getting along as planned.”

Yoochun disappeared and Junsu sat there wondering: Can you really plan this stuff?

♥♥

“Really? That’s amazing!”

“I was lucky,” Changmin smiled modestly.

“You’ve done so many cool things in your life! I wish I’d been able to do all that,” Junsu sighed.

“I’m sure you’ll be able to.”

“Changmin, are you hungry? I can cook up some dduk bok gi for us.”

“Will it be too much trouble?”

“No, of course not! See it as my way of thanking you for fixing my computer!” Junsu grinned.

“But I didn’t fix it. The plug was just loose,” Changmin reminded.

Right, Junsu didn’t realize that it was even difficult to crash a computer in such a short time period. So he just pulled the plug on it.

“Um…well, still, you’re such a great friend. You came right when I asked,” Junsu complimented.

“But it’s getting late. I don’t want to bother you.”

Junsu turned to the clock. It was ten. He didn’t realize it was that late. He didn’t realize he’d been talking to Changmin for this long. At first it was just to keep Changmin from leaving too early, but then Junsu had started to really enjoy those conversations.

“If it makes you feel better, we can order food to be delivered here,” Junsu continued to persuade before Changmin could speak, “Please? My parents are on a business trip so I’m home alone tonight. I’d like it if you’d let me treat you to a simple dinner.”

Changmin smiled a really friendly smile and Junsu felt something stab at his heart (figuratively). For some reason, he really wanted to treat Changmin to something, anything…for some reason.

“Okay, how about pizza? I know a really great place that delivers till midnight.”

“Thanks!” Junsu was ever so happy that Changmin agreed. It made Junsu’s conscience feel slightly better.

So Changmin called to order the pizza while Junsu set the table with drinks and plates. It felt great; Junsu was having fun hanging out with Changmin like this. The guy had a lot of amazing stories to tell and yet he was so modest about it.

The pizza came quick and they settled at the dining table to eat and chat.

“So you’ve swam with a shark before?” Junsu spoke with a mouth full of pizza.

Changmin chuckled and swallowed what was in his mouth before answering, “I didn’t know it was there when I was in the water. My friend swam over to tell me and we got out of the water immediately.”

“Wow, what luck! What else have you done?” the older (but more childish) man inquired before taking another bite of pizza.

“Don’t you want to talk about yourself? Tell me about yourself, Junsu,” Changmin spoke politely.

“My life is boring. There’s nothing to talk about,” Junsu pouted. Although he could tell Changmin that he was being haunted by a ghost, but…that might not turn out too well.

“What about your dreams? What do you want to do?”

“Go to Japan!” Junsu grinned widely.

Changmin chuckled. “Good choice.”

“Tell me about Japan!” Junsu pleaded. Changmin nodded and began to talk, but Junsu was distracted. He looked over Changmin’s shoulder and saw Yoochun standing at the door.

“What is going on? Why is he still here?” Yoochun demanded, arms crossed and frowning.

Junsu blinked and turned his eyes back to Changmin, eyes shifting every few seconds to look at Yoochun.

Changmin noticed. “Junsu, is something wrong?”

Junsu’s eyes widened when Changmin turned around (to where Yoochun stood). But he didn’t see Yoochun. Of course, he wouldn’t. Only Junsu could see Yoochun.

“I thought I saw a fly. It’s nothing,” Junsu lied.

“Oh, now I’m a ‘fly’?” Yoochun cocked an eyebrow with the slight tilt of his head.

Junsu forced himself to concentrate on Changmin. “So what did you like best about Japan?”

“Make him leave, I need to talk to you,” Yoochun’s voice was in the background.

“The food…” Changmin began, but Junsu lost track of his words again because Yoochun was suddenly standing right next to Changmin.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Junsu plastered a weird grin on his face and nodded. He suddenly got the feeling that Yoochun was angry. He was glaring at Changmin, that’s for sure.

Why?

“Yes, and the seafood is incredible…” Changmin continued.

Junsu nodded to pretend he was listening, but his eyes kept shifting to Yoochun. He wondered if Yoochun was going to snap his fingers and use his ‘powers’ to hurt Changmin. What if he made Changmin fly across the room? How is Junsu supposed to explain that?

When they first met, Yoochun did say that he could hurt Junsu with a snap of his fingers. Junsu hasn’t seen it happen, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t possible. And it didn’t help that he didn’t know why Yoochun looked like he was really angry at Changmin.

“Junsu? Are you okay?” Changmin waved a hand in front of his eyes.

Chapter 19

“Huh? Oh, I’m sorry, I’m suddenly…really tired. You know how it is with food. A full stomach makes people sleepy.”

Changmin glanced at his watch. “Oh, it’s getting late. I should get going.”

“Um…yeah, thank you so much for your help.”

“Thank you very much for the pizza,” Changmin smiled as he began to stand up. He started to collect the plates to clean up, but Junsu stopped him.

“It’s okay, you’re a guest. I’ll clean up.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, you should get going. I…uh…wouldn’t want you being too tired for work tomorrow,” Junsu reasoned.

“Okay, thanks again,” the tall man walked to the door and retrieved his jacket from the coat hanger.

Junsu’s eyes shifted to Yoochun (who was standing in the same spot, glaring at Changmin) before turning back to Changmin. “Good night, Changmin.”

Changmin opened the door, but before leaving, he turned his head back to say, “Good night, Junsu hyung. Thank you for tonight. I really enjoyed having someone to talk to and relax with.”

The door closed and Junsu stood there in shock.

He felt…happy and satisfied.

Changmin really sounded like he meant those words, as if those hours spent with Junsu were really precious to him. But they only talked about random stuff. Has it been a long time since Changmin had a relaxing and simple conversation where he can smile and laugh? But how can that be when he has Yunho…and Jaejoong?

“He’s gone. You can stop thinking about him,” Yoochun’s rough voice interrupted Junsu’s thoughts.

“What?”

“Had fun tonight, did you?” Yoochun spoke with too much attitude in his tone.

“Well, yeah, Changmin is really nice and extremely cool to talk to,” Junsu replied truthfully as he began to clean up the plates and pizza box.

“He was supposed to be over here to fix your computer, not flirt with you.”

Junsu stopped cleaning and turned around to look at Yoochun. Those black irises showed frustration and…something else.

“First off, I couldn’t figure out how to crash the computer in less than two minutes so I just unplugged it. That was easily fixed. Secondly, we were chatting, not flirting.”

“‘Chatting’ is what you do using MSN or Yahoo Messenger,” Yoochun countered, ignoring the raising of Junsu’s eyebrow. “When you’re chatting online, you don’t have all that happy grin and sparkling eyes. You looked like a high school girl ogling the captain of the soccer team.”

Junsu wondered if Yoochun had been watching them way before Junsu had noticed Yoochun’s presence.

“With those legs, he’d make one hell of an athlete. Was he really popular in high school?”

“I didn’t know him in high school. We haven’t known each other for that long so we’re not that close,” Yoochun spoke with furrowed brows.

“He seems to see you as a close friend though,” Junsu murmured.

“What do you see him as?” Yoochun suddenly asked.

“Huh?”

“Never mind, clean up and go to sleep. It’s late.”

Yoochun turned his back to Junsu and started to walk towards the door. “Where are you going?”

“Visiting Jaejoong,” he replied.

Junsu didn’t like that answer. But he had another question. “Yoochun, what made you think Changmin and I were flirting? Is that why you look like you’re PMSing?”

“I do not look like I’m PMSing! And I didn’t ‘think’ that you two were flirting. I ‘knew’ you two were flirting.”

“So even if I was ‘flirting’ with Changmin, why does that make you so…PMS-ie?”

Yoochun frowned at the question and tried to change the topic, “‘PMS-ie’ isn’t a word.”

“Yoochun…”

“I’m going to go visit Jaejoong.”

He disappeared before Junsu could say another word.

♥♥

“How was the show?”

“Fantastic!” Yunho grinned happily. He nudged Changmin lightly, “Right?”

Changmin nodded. “Yep.”

”Oh! You were the friend that Yunho invited?” Junsu blinked innocently, as if he really didn’t know.

“Yeah, but that’s okay. You called me after the show so it didn’t interrupt anything,” Changmin informed. Junsu wanted to coo at him because he was so sweet for being so thoughtful of Junsu, worrying that Junsu would feel guilty for calling him last night.

“Junsu was the one who called you last night after the show?” Yunho asked, blinking innocently as well, but not seeming very happy about the new information.

Junsu was slightly confused. Changmin didn’t tell Yunho that it was Junsu who called him?

“Yeah,” Changmin answered uneasily.

“Then…why didn’t you just tell us? Why tell us that it was ‘just a friend’ and running off so fast?” Yunho demanded in a soft voice; too soft for comfort.

“Junsu is a friend, isn’t he?” Changmin reasoned.

Junsu felt the need to interrupt before anything bad happened. “Where’s Jaejoong?”

“He doesn’t get off work until five so he’ll be a couple minutes late,” Yunho turned his head to look at the clock hanging on the restaurant’s wall. It was the theme of the restaurant, with different styles of clocks decorating the whole restaurant.

Junsu wondered why Yunho didn’t just look at his own watch. Junsu looked at Yunho’s wrist and caught a glance at the ring he was wearing. It was the same ring he’d bought in Tokyo, the same style as the one Yoochun had tricked Yunho into buying for Jaejoong.

“Are you guys hungry? Should we order first?”

“Yeah, and I know what Jaejoong likes so I’ll order for him,” Yunho informed.

“He’s so lucky to have you,” Junsu teased. Yunho laughed, while Changmin pretended to be distracted by a random person walking by.

After placing their orders, Yunho excused himself to go to the restroom. Junsu and Changmin were left alone at the table and Junsu didn’t see a sign of Yoochun. Bitterly, Junsu wondered if Yoochun was trailing Jaejoong again.

“What happened last night?” Junsu asked softly.

Changmin sighed and lowered his head.

[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“Where should we go now?” Yunho inquired as they walked out of the theatre. He wrapped his arms around himself and shivered a little.

Changmin was about to remove his own scarf to give to Yunho (who was the only one who didn’t have a scarf on), but Jaejoong beat him too it. Changmin just stood there watching Jaejoong wrap his scarf around Yunho while Yunho smiled beautifully at him.

“Let’s go eat,” Jaejoong suggested.

“Where should we go?” Changmin tried to act like his usual self. “It better have great food.”

Jaejoong and Yunho shared a glance before the corners of their eyes crinkled unanimously and a smile graced their lips. “Timeless Café!” both chorused.

“Sound great,” Changmin forced a smile, eyes shifting around and body turning away slightly. A person proficient in reading body language would know that he wanted to leave, to run away.

Thankfully, his cell phone rang.

“Hello? Hey, how’s it going? Okay, are you home? I can be there in ten minutes. Okay, see you then.”

Changmin hung up and Yunho immediately asked, “Who is it?”

“Just a friend. He’s having some trouble so I’m going to head over to help him.”

“Which friend?” Yunho inquired.

“A friend. You two enjoy dinner. Bye!”

[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“And you just left?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Changmin sighed, understanding what Junsu was asking. “If I told them that it was you, Yunho would want to come along. He’d suggest we all go to your house and eat with you.”

“Is there something wrong with eating with me?” Junsu suddenly felt self-conscious. Did the three of them think Junsu was bad like Yoochun always says? Did they not want to be friends with Junsu?

“No, of course not. It’s just…they would have more fun if they went to Timeless and had dinner…together…with each other.”

Junsu blinked. His mouth formed a circle as he whispered, “Oh.”

Yunho returned from the restroom and they had to drop the subject.

“What are you guys talking about?” the oldest of the three inquired.

“Nothing,” Changmin immediately answered.

Chapter 20

Yunho’s brows furrowed, as if telling Changmin that he’s a really bad liar.

“Just debating about whether Coca-Cola or Pepsi is better,” Junsu tried to save.

Yunho thought that was weird, so he just said, “Oh.”

“Which one do you prefer?” Junsu tried to lead into a less tense atmosphere.

“Um…”

“Pepsi,” Jaejoong answered as he walked towards the table. Junsu saw Yoochun following behind Jaejoong and only spared him a quick glance.

“Hi, Jaejoong,” they all exchanged quick, friendly greetings.

“Really, Pepsi?” Junsu got back onto topic.

“Can’t you think of something better to talk about?” Yoochun grumbled from where he stood behind Jaejoong’s seat. Junsu tried to ignore him.

“Yeah, I prefer Pepsi,” Jaejoong answered with a smile.

“What about you, Changmin?” Yunho asked.

Changmin shrugged. “Coca-Cola, I guess.”

“What about you, Yunho? Pepsi or Coca-Cola?” Jaejoong questioned casually as he took a sip from the ice tea that Yunho had ordered for him beforehand.

Junsu looked at Yunho and for some reason; he felt that this question meant more than it should.

Yunho shrugged casually, “I don’t know.”

♥♥

“Are you still angry at me?”

“Why would I be angry at you?” Yoochun retorted in a not-so-nice manner.

“Beats me,” Junsu shrugged, holding up the new camera he’d bought to check and see if there were any scratches on it.

“Why do you even ask if you don’t care?”

Junsu stopped messing with the camera and turned his head to look at the man…er…the ghost sitting on the balcony. “Who says I don’t care?”

“Asking a question, but having your attention on a camera isn’t the way to look like you care,” Yoochun drawled.

“Maybe I’m pretending to look like I don’t care.”

“Why?” Yoochun couldn’t understand.

Junsu just shrugged as he continued to click buttons on his pink camera. Then he placed it on the table and walked to one of his drawers. He dug through it and emerged with some stickers.

“What are you doing?”

“Decorating my new camera,” Junsu replied. He grabbed the camera and jumped on the bed. His brows curved with concentration as he tried to place a sticker on the side of the camera.

“What are you putting on it?”

“Stickers.”

“Why?”

“Labeling it as mine.”

“You’re putting a sticker with your name on it?” Yoochun looked at him as if he’d grown a third eye.

“No! I just remembered that I have these leftover stickers from when I was younger. They’re small so it’s perfect to put on the camera. See? Look at how cute it is now! A lot better than before!” Junsu grinned as he held the camera up for Yoochun to see.

Yoochun looked amused when he saw the tiny Marshimaro stickers on the camera. How Junsu managed to make it look nice and cute, he didn’t know.

“I guess it’s okay,” Yoochun commented.

“Psh!” Junsu huffed at Yoochun’s restrained compliment. “What do you know?”

“I know that you’re taking too long to get Jaejoong and Yunho together,” the young ghost hinted bluntly.

Junsu rolled his eyes and tried to change the subject. “Let’s take a picture!”

“I don’t think I show up…” Yoochun was cut off by the sudden flash of light in his face. While he scrunched his eyes to try to regain sight, Junsu was busy clicking ‘preview’ on his camera.

Yoochun sat there silently waiting for Junsu’s next statement.

“You don’t show up on camera,” Junsu spoke with a sad pout.

Yoochun knew that was coming, but that didn’t make him feel any better. So Junsu tried to comfort him, to find a bright side to this situation.

“If you carried me, would it look like I’m floating?”

“Floating?”

“Yeah! It’ll be awesome! Let’s try it!”

He placed the camera on the desk and dragged Yoochun (by the hand) to stand in front of the camera. “But who will take the picture?”

“It’s one of those cameras that snap once it detects a smile,” Junsu explained. “Now bend your knees a little.”

Yoochun did as told and the next thing he knew, Junsu was jumping onto his back.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Yoochun tried to balance himself because Junsu jumped on too soon (and was practically hanging on Yoochun’s right side like a monkey).

Junsu (ever so oblivious) made a peace sign and grinned at the camera.

The camera snapped just as Junsu felt himself falling over. Yoochun failed to gain balance and was falling over.

Luckily, the bed was right there and Yoochun fell right on it (rather than right through it).

Unluckily, they somehow ended up in an awkward position. With Junsu hanging mostly on Yoochun’s side, Yoochun only needed to turn his body slightly and he was face to face with Junsu.

After the few short seconds of flailing arms and tripping feet, they now lied stiffly on the bed; Junsu staring up at Yoochun with dropped jaws and Yoochun looking down at Junsu with wide eyes. Their faces were only inches apart.

How they could possibly end up in this position, neither knew. But it was the last thing on their minds right now.

Junsu wasn’t sure of what to do. He just kept staring at Yoochun’s (really close) lips. What would it be like to kiss…?

Yoochun suddenly pulled away, so fast that he ended up falling on the floor. Junsu sat up immediately to see if he was okay.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Yoochun mumbled as he stood up. His eyes shifted around the room, but he wouldn’t look at Junsu. “I’m…I’m going to go visit my fam…um…Jaejoong. I’m going to go visit Jaejoong. Jaejoong. So, um…you figure out more plans to get them together. It has to be quick. Really quick. Um…Jaejoong, going to go visit Jaejoong.”

He disappeared and Junsu just sat there, thinking…trying to think, but he couldn’t think. What did he want to think about? He didn’t know.

So he stood up to retrieve the camera. Looking at the picture that was just taken, he only saw a bad picture of himself falling…in midair. He pressed the button to show the previous picture that he’d snapped of Yoochun. Yoochun wasn’t in that picture.

Junsu turned off the camera and hid it in a drawer, suddenly feeling like he never wanted to see a camera ever again.

Maybe…just maybe, it was because he didn’t like to know that he would never be able to take a picture with Yoochun.

♥♥

Junsu’s eyes were closed, but his lips moved as he mumbled softly, “Wake up, Junsu, wake up. Wake up, wake up, wake up.”

But his eyes won’t open. He wanted to continue to sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep.

But he can’t. He won’t. He promised that he would start waking up early. He had to start waking up earlier.

But he made the promise to himself. It’s okay to break promises you make to yourself, right?

“Wake up, wake up, wake up,” Junsu continued to command himself. He released a long sigh before forcing his eyes open.

He wanted to turn onto his side and snuggle some more into the comforter…and the Mashimaro that was next to him.

Mashimaro made Junsu think of Yoochun.

So he used his arms to push himself up and rubbed his eyes to wake himself up. He certainly wasn’t used to waking up this early, but he didn’t think he’d have THAT much trouble with it.

Junsu quickly climbed off the bed before he could fall back down and end up surrendering the battle. He had to wake up early, wanted to wake up early (for more time to spend with Yoochun).

His eyes wandered the room and didn’t see Yoochun. “Yoochun?”

Probably out visiting his family or Jaejoong again. Always Jaejoong. Talk about being bias.

Frowning, Junsu dragged himself to the restroom and went through the usual routine. He picked out a favorite outfit and styled his hair. Then he ran downstairs for breakfast.

“Good morning, Junsu…” Mrs. Kim greeted him.

“Morning Umma, morning Appa,” he replied. He decided to ignore their shocked expressions as he sat down to eat. You’d think they’d be used to it by now since he’s been treating them so much better these days (thanks to Yoochun).

It wasn’t like he could sit there and have a nice conversation with them, but at least he joined them for breakfast. It’s a good start (Yoochun should be proud).

“What are your plans for today?” his father inquired casually while folding up the newspaper.

“I don’t know, maybe go visit Jaejoong again.”

Chapter 21

His parents nodded approvingly because Junsu had told them about Jaejoong’s situation. They were proud that their son was so caring and had made three nice friends in the process.

After breakfast, his parents left for work (something about annual shareholders’ meeting). Junsu ran upstairs to grab his messenger bag and prepared to go find Yoochun (at Jaejoong’s house). But when he walked into his room, he found Yoochun sitting on the balcony.

“Hey!” Junsu greeted with a huge grin.

Yoochun smiled in greeting, but he looked slightly tense and awkward. “Hey.”

“Where have you been?”

“Around,” Yoochun shrugged.

Junsu didn’t exactly like the vague answer. If you cared about someone, you’d give him detailed answers, wouldn’t you?

“Oh.”

“Why are you up so early today?”

Junsu smiled again because Yoochun had noticed. “I’m making it a goal to start waking up before nine every morning!”

He waited for Yoochun’s compliment, or maybe just an approving/proud smile. It didn’t come.

“Oh,” Yoochun murmured, turning back to stare out at the sky. What was wrong with him?

“So you don’t have to go find stuff to do every morning now,” Junsu hinted, wanting Yoochun to understand WHY Junsu was forcing himself to wake up extra early.

“Yeah, you can use the extra hours to think of ways to get Jaejoong and Yunho together.”

Junsu felt disappointed. He tried again, “It’s not easy, you know? It’s really hard for me to wake up so early. I’ve been tired a lot recently.”

Yoochun’s head turned sharply and his eyes were back on Junsu. That would be a good thing…if Junsu wasn’t so confused about the emotions he saw in Yoochun’s eyes. He couldn’t pinpoint what those emotions were.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Junsu inquired as his hand unconsciously brushed some hair behind his ear.

“If you’re tired, then you should just continue to sleep in late,” Yoochun replied.

Junsu frowned. “So while I sleep, you can go find Jaejoong?”

Yoochun blinked, confused by Junsu’s change in attitude. “You’re weird.”

“You’re ugly.”

“You’re random.”

“I try,” Junsu retorted dryly. He gave up on trying and just settled himself in a chair (because sitting on the bed would mean another battle to stay awake). He stretched his arms and yawned.

“Go back to sleep,” Yoochun said.

“No! I don’t need it. What should we do today? Want to go to the park? I heard there’s a new amusement…”

“I’m not here to be your best friend. I’m here to make sure you grant my final wish,” Yoochun interrupted bluntly.

That hurt. Junsu looked down sadly, a pout on his lips. “Fine.”

“Sorry,” Yoochun sighed. Junsu looked back up and saw that he was looking out at the sky again. There was definitely something wrong with Yoochun today. Was it because of the ‘almost fall-and-kiss’ accident yesterday?

“No, I’m sorry. I should be trying to get them together. It’s just…I’m not good at playing matchmaker. I don’t know what ‘Love’ is so I don’t know what to do to make them fall in love with each…”

“You don’t need to make them fall in love with each other. You’re trying to make them admit that they’re in love with each other.”

Junsu blinked, eyes lowering to look at his own hands. “You sound so sure that they’re in love with each other.”

“They are,” Yoochun assured in his deep voice.

“I guess you’re so sure because you know what ‘Love’ is. Maybe you can teach me and then…maybe I’ll be able to get them together,” Junsu pointed out. He wanted to say, ‘…maybe I’ll be able to see this love that you’re so sure they have for each other.’

“It’s not something that can be taught,” Yoochun sighed, eyes following a flying bird in the sky.

“Do you think you’ll ever stop loving Jaejoong?”

Yoochun was clearly shocked by the question. He probably knew all along that Junsu knew, but the knowledge was never put into words. Now that it was being put into words, it became more realistic (more painful?).

“No,” Yoochun replied.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“No.”

“No?”

“Yes.”

“‘Yes’, you’ll stop loving him?”

“No, stop confusing me,” Yoochun glared. “And it’s none of your business. It’s not like I can get in the way of their relationship.”

Junsu wasn’t so sure about the truth of that statement. He’d voiced the truth that Yoochun was in love with Jaejoong. Should he voice another truth at this moment?

No, not now. He didn’t want to fight with Yoochun today…or ever (unless maybe it’s a lovers’ quarrel…).

Wait, what? Lovers’ quarrel? Between him and Yoochun? Lovers? Him and Yoochun? Junsu and Yoochun? Hmm…

“Your smile is creepy,” Yoochun’s voice sliced into his thoughts. Junsu didn’t realize he had been smiling.

“What?”

“What’s your next plan to get Yunho and Jaejoong together?”

“Is that all you think about?” Junsu frowned.

“Yes.”

“Fine,” Junsu grumbled. Then he asked, “How did their dinner date go? You followed them didn’t you?”

[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“I wonder if Changmin’s friend is okay,” Jaejoong spoke after the waiter left. He had a feeling Yunho would want to talk about Changmin.

“I know, right? But I wonder which friend it is. We know each other’s friends. I didn’t think we had any friends that the other person doesn’t know about,” Yunho jumped onto the topic right away.

Yoochun looked at Jaejoong and knew that Jaejoong didn’t really want to keep talking about Changmin…but it was better than having Yunho remain silent the whole time (like he did during the drive from the theatre to the restaurant).

“Sometimes, you act like you’re his boyfriend or something,” Jaejoong chuckled, but Yoochun could sense the tension in his statement.

“No way!” Yunho reacted.

“Yunho-ah…” Jaejoong lowered his head to look down at his hands.

“Hmm?”

Yoochun tensed, wondering what Jaejoong wanted to say. He hoped that Jaejoong was going to confess.

“Nothing,” Jaejoong smiled weakly

The waiter came back with their ordered dishes.

“I’m so hungry!” Yunho grinned at his meal as he removed his hands from the warmth of his pockets.

Jaejoong realized that his gloves were still on so he peeled them off. Yunho saw the ring on his finger.

“You’re wearing the ring!” Yunho grinned.

“Yeah,” Jaejoong smiled. He nodded towards Yunho’s hand, “You are too.”

“People might think that we’re a couple,” Yunho laughed, not at all serious about his statement.

“Thank you again for buying me this ring,” Jaejoong spoke after swallowing his first bite.

Yunho stopped eating and blinked. Then his head lowered and he smiled a bit too weak for Yoochun’s liking.

“Jaejoong, I think you deserve to know the truth…”

Yoochun stopped leaning casually on the wall and began to worry. “No, don’t say it,” Yoochun exclaimed, forgetting that he couldn’t be heard.

“Truth?” Jaejoong wondered.

Yunho told him the story of the ring that was on his finger. “…I never understood his request, but…now that he’s gone; I really think you deserve to know. You should be thinking of him when you see that ring, not me.”

Yoochun knew Yunho was being kind, thinking that Yoochun deserved to be recognized for his effort, his gift. But Yoochun didn’t want this. Jaejoong wouldn’t want this.

“Oh,” Jaejoong murmured. “Thank you…thank you for telling me.”

He didn’t look thankful. His head was low, expression hard to read.

“Jaejoong…” Yunho murmured.

“It’s okay. I’m not thinking crazy thoughts anymore. Yoochun is gone. I’ve learned to accept that. I’m okay. I really am.”

“At first, I was afraid that bringing him up would…”

“No, I’ve learned to accept it. All I can do now is to cherish my life, for him and for myself.”

Chapter 22

Yunho smiled, “And for me, remember? We’re best friends.”

Jaejoong smiled, sadly. Yunho might think that Jaejoong’s smile was sad because he was missing Yoochun. Yoochun knew that Jaejoong’s smile was sad because he’d just found out that the ring wasn’t from Yunho.

[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“What happened after that?”

“They just started talking about random stuff like they always do. I know Jaejoong was upset though…about the ring.”

“Well, can’t you look on the bright side? Maybe he’s happy to find out that you bought the ring for him. Don’t you want him to think about you when he wears that ring?”

“Do I?”

“If you were in love with him, then you would,” Junsu pointed out. Then he casually slipped in, “But if you’re no longer in love with him then it’s understandable that you don’t mind…”

Yoochun frowned at Junsu. “What are you trying to say?”

“I think you’ve finally fallen out of your infatuation with Jaejoong. I mean, come on, who in this world can matchmake the person they love with someone else? It’s not possible. No human is that capable and it’s something that only happens in movies,” Junsu explained.

“Is that what you believe?”

“It’s what I know,” Junsu assured.

Yoochun shrugged. “It’s your own perspective.”

“We were talking about you falling out of love with Jaejoong, not about my perspective.”

“We were trying to think of a way to get Jaejoong and Yunho together,” Yoochun reminded.

“Tell me, when Jaejoong said ‘Yunho-ah’ and you thought that he was going to confess, did you feel anything? Hurt, upset, afraid?”

Yoochun thought about it. “I just felt…hopeful.”

Junsu snapped his fingers happily. “Bingo! You weren’t even the least bit hurt to see the one you supposed love confess to another person!”

“Why are you analyzing this? It doesn’t even matter. I don’t even have a life, much less a love life, so we can stop analyzing it.”

Junsu just shrugged casually. “Sure, if you say so.”

Yoochun gave him a weird look and Junsu wondered why. He glanced at a mirror on his drawer and noted that he had a silly smile on his lips.

Silly Junsu, why so happy?

♥♥

“Where are we going?”

“Yunho likes Boba Tea. I’m going to buy some for him before we suddenly pop up in front of his door.”

“Gee, I didn’t know you were so courteous,” Yoochun insulted, but with a happy smile.

Junsu tried to look angry, but it just turned into a silly smile, “You have a lot more to learn about me.”

Yoochun rolled his eyes. “Plenty more,” he drawled.

“I think it’s a good time to talk to Yunho and convince him to confess to Jaejoong. God knows Jaejoong wouldn’t do it.”

“Yes, a good time,” Yoochun nodded.

“I had it all planned, you know? I wanted to wait a while and allow Jaejoong time to recover before bringing them together.”

“Sure, you did,” Yoochun spoke sarcastically.

Junsu ignored his insult. “And Yunho probably wouldn’t have wanted to burden Jaejoong with a blooming relationship when he was recovering anyway. And that ring, that ring! Maybe my prediction was correct and Yunho thought that you were using him to give Jaejoong that ring because you’re in love with Jaejoong. Maybe he knew you were in love with Jaejoong, that’s why he stayed away. But Yunho is such a good person; he didn’t want to get together with Jaejoong when the time was so close to your death. You’re gone, but Yunho didn’t want to take advantage of that. He’s a good person. And you’re not in love with Jaejoong.”

“True,” Yoochun agreed and Junsu felt proud (and maybe a bit arrogant).

“Boba Tea is good, you know? It’ll make Yunho drop his defense around me. Then I’ll tell him that Jaejoong is in love with him. I’ll be that awesome character in those romance stories that brings the two main characters together. The audience loves characters like me.”

“Where is this place anyway?” Yoochun looked around at their surrounding. It didn’t look like a good area.

“The place is a bit far and kind of on the bad side of town, but I heard that it has the best Boba.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t…”

“Yunho likes Boba,” Junsu reminded. “And you’ll protect me if something happens. You can use your powers with a snap of your fingers, remember?”

“Right…” Yoochun murmured, recalling the faithful day he had first intruded Junsu’s room.

Junsu remembered too and smiled at those fond memories.

“Okay, we’re here! Let’s go,” Junsu climbed out of the vehicle and locked it. The shop was small, but there was no doubt that it made good money. There was a line of people waiting to purchase and Junsu had to park on the other side of the street due to the lack of parking spaces.

He was about to cross the streets when he caught sight of something at the end of the street.

“What are you…?” Yoochun was about to ask, but Junsu just ran off towards the other direction. “Junsu?”

Junsu ran down to the end of the street and got a better look at what was happening. He turned the corner into an alley to see two men pushing a woman to the ground and taking her purse.

“No! Please!” she begged.

“Shut up, or we’ll kill you,” one of the guys threatened.

“Junsu…” Yoochun warned, but Junsu was confident that Yoochun could save him and he was confident that Yoochun would want him to save this woman.

“Give her back her purse!” Junsu commanded.

The three turned to him.

“Who do you think you are, Shorty?” Bully #1 glared at him.

“Your partner is shorter than me,” Junsu pointed at Bully #2.

“Are you looking for a beating?” Bully #2 growled.

Bully #1 dropped the purse and pushed up his sleeves, giving Junsu a challenging look. The frightened woman grabbed her purse and tried to run.

Bully #2 tried to stop her, but Junsu pushed his arm away.

“Leave,” Junsu told the woman.

“Thank you,” she bowed quickly before running away.

“Looks like we can get more money from your wallet,” Bully #1 leered, noting Junsu’s brand name clothes and silver accessories (necklace, ring, watch, etc.).

“You idiot! Why would you dress like that when you know you’re going to be on the bad side of town?” Yoochun hissed.

“Bring it on!” Junsu challenged. “I’ll show you two Creeps the consequences of hurting other people!”

Yoochun stood there rubbing his temples while Junsu struck a karate pose. The two bullies looked pretty pissed off.

“Well, at least you’re a tae kwon do expert,” Yoochun sighed.

Junsu’s eyes shifted to Yoochun and tried not to move his lips as he whispered “Use your powers.”

Yoochun’s mouth dropped as he stared at Junsu. “You were expecting me to get you through this?”

“Yes!” Junsu exclaimed with wide eyes. The bullies walked closer.

“Junsu,” Yoochun began as Junsu turned his eyes back to the bullies and started to take backwards steps. “For the sake of your pretty face, run!”

Junsu turned on his heels and ran for his life.

“Towards the Boba Tea shop! There are a lot of people! They won’t do anything when there are a lot of people!” Yoochun shouted while running next to Junsu.

“Come back here!” one of the bullies shouted.

“They can’t catch me, right? They’ve got all those big muscles to carry and I’m so small and skinny,” Junsu prayed as he ran.

“Cross the streets, cross the streets!” Yoochun ordered when he noted that there were no cars.

Junsu ran across the streets and pass two buildings to reach the Boba Tea store. The customers standing in line gave him a weird look, then looked pass him to see the two bullies.

Like Yoochun had predicted, those bullies back off. They gave Junsu a deadly glare before turning to leave.

Junsu tried to catch his breath and made sure that the bullies were gone before crossing the streets to get back into his car. He leaned back into the chair; feeling like his legs had turned to jelly.

“That was smart,” Yoochun, in the passenger seat, drawled.

“Why didn’t you help me?” Junsu exclaimed.

“Why did you rely on me to help you?” Yoochun countered. “I thought you were a tae kwon do expert!”

“I lied!” Junsu confessed. “I thought you had powers to hurt people by snapping your fingers!”

“I lied!” Yoochun repeated.

Chapter 23

Junsu rolled his eyes and rested his head back against the chair. “I’m so tired.”

“It was only a short distant,” Yoochun pointed out.

“Shut up, it’s not my fault. I can usually run a longer distant. I don’t know why I’ve been getting tired so easily these past couple of days.”

When Yoochun didn’t say anything, Junsu turned to look at him. Yoochun looked…troubled.

“Why don’t you go home and rest?” he suddenly said.

“What?”

“You can talk to Yunho tomorrow.”

Junsu thought that was weird. Wasn’t Yoochun the one who was always rushing him to get Yunho and Jaejoong together?

But then, now that Junsu thought about it, maybe he didn’t want to talk to Yunho today.

Junsu glanced at Yoochun and saw the other man…er…the ghost staring out the other window. His eyes touched Yoochun’s soft tangles, long lashes, thoughtful eyes, perfect nose, pretty lips.

And Junsu made up his mind. He followed Yoochun’s order and drove home to rest.

♥♥

Junsu lied in his bed, eyes on the ceiling. Yoochun was gone again, visiting Jaejoong again.

This time, Junsu was jealous again. Yes, he’d labeled the feeling as ‘jealousy’. Whenever Yoochun said he was going to go visit Jaejoong, Junsu would feel this ‘jealousy’. And even now, when Junsu knew that Yoochun was no longer in love with Jaejoong, he still felt this ‘jealousy’.

Junsu was tired and at this moment, he just wanted Yoochun by his side (maybe to cuddle with). But Yoochun insisted on going and now Junsu was lying in bed this early in the day to just…think.

Something was wrong. Definitely wrong. This ‘something’ requires Junsu to spend this peaceful, silent moment to think it through, dissect it.

He was jealous of Jaejoong.

He cared an awful lot about how Yoochun saw him. He’d pretty himself up every morning and chose to wear all of his favorite outfits. Not just the outer appearance; Junsu had started to change on the inside too. Yoochun didn’t like the ‘Bratty Junsu’ so Junsu had tried to become a ‘Better Junsu’. It worked didn’t it? Because Junsu would feel pricelessly happy when Yoochun noticed (or even complimented Junsu).

He didn’t like being without Yoochun. Even if they were sitting there doing nothing, not even talking, Junsu liked it. Because Yoochun was THERE.

He was forcing himself to wake up early to spend more time with Yoochun.

More time with Yoochun. Because Yoochun was THERE.

That was it! That was the unknown thing that was nagging at Junsu this whole time!

If Junsu got Yunho and Jaejoong together, then Yoochun would leave! Yoochun would have his last wish fulfilled and he’d see the light, and leave! He’s leave Junsu! There wouldn’t be any ‘more time’ with Yoochun. Yoochun wouldn’t be THERE.

That can’t happen.

Why? Because Junsu is hopelessly in love with Park Yoochun.

Is that possible? Is it? Yoochun is a ghost. Junsu isn’t a ghost. Yoochun isn’t human. Junsu is human. How can Junsu be destined to fall this much in love with Yoochun when they were both so…different?

But then, all those romance movies and stories always said that ‘Love’ can’t be explained. But ‘Love’ is so amazing that it goes beyond ‘Life’ because it’s just that powerful.

So it’s okay for Junsu to fall in love with a ghost. It’s romantic. It’s love. It’s possible (apparently). And yeah, Yoochun is a ghost, but that’s okay. It’s not like Junsu is a girl and needs to get married and have little babies. As long as Yoochun is there, he wouldn’t need anyone else. Because he’s in love with Yoochun!

Hmm…and now that Yoochun isn’t in love with Jaejoong, then that gives Junsu a chance to woo him. But Junsu can’t woo Yoochun if Yoochun leaves!

Junsu is willing to sacrifice for Yoochun, so if Yoochun fell in love with Junsu then he would be willing to remain a ghost to stay by Junsu’s side, wouldn’t he? That’s love, isn’t it? It’s not like he’ll have to stay a ghost forever…just until Junsu dies and they become a pair of ghost lovers together.

Junsu’s grin was so wide that his eyes had disappeared. All these lovey-dovey, romantic thoughts running through his head was making him so giddy.

That’s it. That’s perfect!

And so simple too! All Junsu has to do is prevent Yoochun’s wish from being fulfilled, so that he won’t be able to see that light that will take him away. Then Junsu will convince Yoochun that he should be in love with Junsu!

Junsu’s lips shaped into a yawn and he pulled the blanket up to cover his whole body. He felt so tired, but he wanted to dissect another matter before he fell asleep.

Had Yoochun fallen in love with Junsu during their time together? He seemed jealous when he accused Junsu was ‘flirting’ with Changmin. He seems to care a lot more for Junsu these days. Oh, and of course, (don’t think Junsu didn’t catch it), Yoochun had said, ‘For the sake of your pretty face’ today when they had encountered the bullies.

Yoochun called Junsu ‘pretty’. Junsu giggled at the memory.

Then his eyes closed and he drifted into dreamland.

♥♥

“Junsu! Junsu! Wake up! Oh, my God, please wake up! Junsu! Junsu!”

Junsu furrowed his brows when he heard the voice. Then he gained enough consciousness to feel his whole body being shook; each shake getting more aggressive.

“Stop it!” Junsu mumbled in an almost inaudible groan.

“You’re awake! You’re okay! Thank God, you’re okay!”

It was Yoochun’s voice.

Junsu’s lids were very heavy, but he did his best to push them open. Then he realized that his upper body was being hugged tightly in a pair of strong arms.

“Yoochun?” Junsu murmured, his voice heavy with sleep.

“Yes, it’s me. It’s me,” Yoochun whispered. “You’re okay. You’re okay.”

Junsu fought off the sleepiness and got a better observation of his surrounding. He was still in his room, on his bed. His head was resting on a chest, Yoochun’s chest. He was leaning against Yoochun. And it felt so nice, so right.

One of Yoochun’s arms was still around Junsu, holding him against Yoochun. His other arm was slightly raised so that his hand played with Junsu’s hair.

Junsu snuggled closer and closed his eyes again, enjoying this so much (too much).

“Say something,” Yoochun said, his voice almost desperate.

“What do you want me to say?” Junsu inquired softly.

“You sleep like a log. I called your name so many times, but you wouldn’t respond. I thought you were…” Yoochun stopped talking.

Junsu was confused. “You thought I was dead? Why would you think that? The doctor said that the surgery was extremely successful and I’m in good health.”

Junsu regretted asking. Yoochun released him and stepped away from the bed. Junsu sat there on the bed by himself, looking up at Yoochun.

Yoochun head was turned away and Junsu cursed the darkness of the night for covering that handsome face. Where was the switch for the light?

“I’m just paranoid,” Yoochun defended and to Junsu, it sounded like a lie. Paranoid? Really? Why?

“Yoochun…”

“You should go downstairs. Your parents are home and they’re preparing dinner. They plan to come up here to get you when they’re done.”

“I…”

“I won’t bother you.”

He left.

♥♥

“My parents said that Heebon’s bringing a boyfriend home for your parents to meet tonight.”

Yoochun finally stopped staring at the sky and looked at Junsu. “Boyfriend?”

“Yeah, my parents said that your parents told them. They’ve become really good friends with each other,” Junsu hinted with a smile.

“Tonight?” Yoochun had more important matters on his mind.

“Yeah, maybe you should stop by to take a peek, see if the guy suits your baby sister.”

“But I don’t want to postpone another meeting with Yunho…” Yoochun bit his lower lip and Junsu wanted to coo at how cute he looked.

“Don’t worry; I’ll still go talk to Yunho tonight.”

“Without me?”

“I’m not a kid, Yoochun. I can handle it on my own.”

Yoochun’s eyes shifted, unsure of what to do. His brotherly senses tingled, but he was also worried…

“You can trust me, Yoochun,” Junsu tried to persuade.

Yoochun allowed himself to meet Junsu’s eyes, searching for trust. Junsu was nervous, but he tried to look confident and hoped that Yoochun would find what he was looking for.

Junsu released a silent breath of relief when Yoochun agreed, “Okay.”

Chapter 24

“Hi, Yunho.”

“Junsu, hi,” Yunho smiled politely, but Junsu couldn’t miss the sadness in his eyes. Junsu had become good at noticing small details like that…because he’d started to care more for other people, thanks to Yoochun.

“I heard you had a cold, are you feeling better?”

“Yes, I’m feeling fine now. Come in.”

Junsu took a seat on the living room couch. “Thanks.”

“Do you want something to drink? Have you eaten? I can make you something to eat?”

“Aren’t you tired from a long day at work?”

“I didn’t…go to work today.”

He didn’t go to work yesterday either. And something told Junsu that it wasn’t because Yunho was ill.

“Yunho, is something wrong?”

Yunho’s head lowered and he turned away slightly. His arms wrapped around himself and he suddenly looked so…weak. “No, nothing is wrong. Everything is right.”

Junsu remembered hearing those words before.

[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“He’ll get through it, especially since he has Yunho with him,” Junsu smiled. When Changmin didn’t say anything, Junsu raised his head to look at the taller man. “Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing is wrong,” Changmin spoke softly with a (forced) smile. “Everything is right.”

[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“Yunho, is this about Changmin?”

Junsu crossed his fingers behind his back. He’d once suspected Yunho of being in love with Changmin, but Yoochun had told (promised) him otherwise. Now, Junsu hoped that Yunho was really in love with Changmin because that would make it easier for Junsu.

Yunho closed his eyes and pinched the area between his eyebrows. He slumped down onto the sofa and looked miserable.

For a moment there, Junsu felt guilty. But he recalled his own love for Yoochun and told himself that he can’t feel guilty. He had a mission, and his mission was to keep Yoochun by his side.

“I don’t know who to talk to. If I had problems, I could go to Jaejoong or Changmin, even Yoochun. But now…it feels like I’ve not only lost Yoochun, but I’ve lost Jaejoong and Changmin too. I don’t know. I really don’t know who I can talk to. And I’m too weak to hold it in, to shoulder this burden on my own. I’m so weak, so weak…” Yunho sighed.

“You’re not weak. You’re very strong,” Junsu comforted. “You can…talk to me about it.”

Yunho raised his head to meet Junsu’s eyes and Junsu felt his gut twist. The sorrow, the fear, the pain in those eyes; Junsu tried to avoid them, tried so very hard to not feel like he was betraying Yunho.

“The other day…” Yunho began.

[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“Changmin.”

Changmin didn’t raise his head, just continued to read the words that didn’t have a single meaning to them. “I need to proof read these contracts and sign them all by lunch time. We can discuss Mr. Bae’s project tomorr…”

“I’m not here to discuss Mr. Bae’s project,” Yunho cut in.

“Okay, then whichever project it is, we can talk about it…”

“Stop pretending to read and look at me,” the older man spoke in a solid voice.

Changmin sighed and dropped the pen. He raised his head and met Yunho’s eyes. “Yes?”

Yunho could feel himself wanting to run away, but he nailed himself to the floor. Taking in a breath of courage, he confessed, “I pick Coca-Cola.”

Changmin broke the eye contact and casually looked over at the bookshelf. “Tell Junsu. He was the one who wanted to know.”

“And you don’t? You really don’t want to know?” Yunho demanded. “Or maybe you already know…already knew, but you’re running away.”

Changmin sighed and still refused to look at Yunho. “Hyung, why don’t you run away too? Run out of here now and forget this conversation ever happened. You know you want to.”

Yes, he wanted to run away. But he wouldn’t.

“If we both keep running away then we’re never going to get together.”

“There is no ‘get together’ for us. There’s just a ‘get together’ for you and Jaejoong.”

“That’s it, isn’t it?” Yunho shouted and Changmin was thankful for the thick walls of his office. “You refuse to confess your love for me because you think I should be with Jaejoong!”

“Jaejoong loves you,” Changmin murmured, but he didn’t deny that he loved Yunho too.

“Jaejoong loves me! But who do I love, Changmin? Do I love Jaejoong? Or do I love you?”

Changmin covered his face with both hands and tried to remain calm. “Hyung, please…”

“Changmin, please! Please, just admit it! Stop avoiding me! Stop running away! Stop trying to set me up with Jaejoong! It hurts!”

“Jaejoong will hurt…”

“Jaejoong will understand.”

“I’d rather hurt myself then hurt him…”

“So you’ll hurt me too? You’d rather hurt me than hurt him? I love Jaejoong. I love him, but only as a best friend, a brother. I don’t want to lose him; I don’t want to hurt him. I thought I could do it. I thought I could avoid all this, but it really started to burn when you keep avoiding me, when you keep trying to push me to Jaejoong!”

“Yunho…”

“You think I don’t know? That night, you didn’t tell us that Junsu was calling you! You told us that it was ‘just a friend’. Because you knew I would want to come along! You know what that means, don’t you? It means you know that I’m in love with you and not Jaejoong! You know it! That’s why you were afraid to tell me that it was Junsu who called you!”

“You’re not making sense…”

“I’ve thought about it, Changmin! It’s all I can think about! You’ve known all along that I’m in love with you! But because of Jaejoong, because of friendship, you kept running away from the truth!” Yunho paused, just enough to blink so that his moist eyes would recapture the tears that threatened to form. “It hurts so much to know that you didn’t tell us, tell me. You didn’t tell us it was Junsu who called because you wanted to create an opportunity for Jaejoong and me. It hurts to know that the one you love…is pushing you to love another.”

“I’m sorry, but…”

“Forget it! Just…forget about it!” Yunho turned to leave, but before closing the door, he turned his head to say, “Jaejoong and I will never become a couple. It’s not possible.”

[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“You figured out why he didn’t tell you guys that I had called him…” Junsu murmured.

“I was already stressed when he started to avoid me. But when I found out that he was even trying to bring Jaejoong and me together, I just…I couldn’t take it anymore. I’m weak.”

“Maybe he really didn’t know beforehand that you were in love with him. It’s…easy to misunderstand that you’re in love with Jaejoong,” Junsu recalled the interactions he’s seen between them.

“I know, it’s a thin line between love and friendship. But…I guarantee you, I don’t love Jaejoong in that way. I wouldn’t lie to him about it either, Jaejoong doesn’t deserve that.”

Junsu recalled the day he had accidentally dropped that third ticket and ended up surrendering it to Yunho. That same night, Yoochun threw a big tantrum about it.

[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“There’s a thin line between love and friendship.”

“Thin line?”

“Thin and blurred. But I can guarantee you; Yunho isn’t in love with Changmin.”

[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

Yoochun had lied to Junsu. Yoochun had tried to make Junsu believe that Yunho was in love with Jaejoong.

And wasn’t Junsu just as bad? He had planned to set Yunho up with Changmin instead…when he wasn’t even sure if Yunho was in love with Changmin (until now).

Yoochun was bad and Junsu was just as bad. They had treated Yunho like a puppet, not even caring for whom Yunho’s heart truly belonged to. Junsu was just lucky that Yunho’s heart actually belonged to Changmin.

Junsu stopped spacing out when Yunho started to talk again.

“I knew. I knew that Jaejoong was in love with me. I’m not blind…or maybe I was cursed with it. I could see. I could see that Jaejoong loved me. I could see that Yoochun loved Jaejoong. I was just taking a wild guess at first on whether Changmin was in love with me. Maybe…maybe I was so desperate for it to be true that…I had enough courage to believe that it is true.”

“It’s true…” Junsu murmured.

“I know,” Yunho whispered, a small, sad smile gracing his lips. “I was so happy that he didn’t deny it. I was so happy when he accepted that third ticket to the show.”

Junsu recalled a question that had been lingering in his mind. “When you asked for that third ticket, why did you say that you wanted to give it to a ‘friend’? Why didn’t you just tell us that the ‘friend’ is Changmin?”

“I wasn’t sure if Changmin would accept it. If he rejected, I didn’t want you and Jaejoong to question why he rejected it.”

“You didn’t want us to question it, but you already knew the answer.”

“If he rejected…then it would be because he didn’t want to come between Jaejoong and me. I was happy. I was incredibly happy when he agreed to go. But then that same night, he had to run off and leave me on a dinner date with Jaejoong.”

“Yunho-ah, I’m sorry.”

Yunho blinked. “Why are you sorry? I should be thanking you for listening to me. Thank you so much, Junsu.”

Yunho moved to sit next to Junsu and gave the younger man a hug. “Yunho…”

“I don’t make friends easily. That’s why I cherish Changmin, Jaejoong, and Yoochun so much. I’m glad to have you too.”

“I’m very thankful for your friendship too,” Junsu felt like he was pleading Yunho to believe his words.

Yunho smiled sadly, “If things weren’t so complicated. If Yoochun was still alive. I really believe that the five of us would make a great group together.”

Chapter 25

Junsu shook his head and patted his cheeks lightly. He felt so tired, but he wouldn’t give in. He had more important things to do tonight.

Junsu checked his watch. He had another half hour before the ‘meet-and-greet’ dinner at the Park resident would end. Yoochun was most likely still at his parents’ home, observing his baby sister’s boyfriend. Junsu was thankful for this opportunity.

He swallowed back a yawn before stepping out of his vehicle and ringing the doorbell to Changmin’s home.

“Junsu?”

“Hi, Changmin, I have something I want to ask you,” Junsu walked pass Changmin and invited himself into the house. One look and he could tell that Yunho had decorated this home.

“Um…I’m sorry, but I’m not feeling too well…”

“Yunho is doing okay,” Junsu didn’t sit; he just stood in the middle of the living room. Sitting would remind him of how tired he was.

“What?” Changmin blinked in confusion.

“You haven’t seen him in two days because he’s avoiding work. Don’t you want to know how he’s doing?”

“He’s not avoiding work. He’s avoiding me,” the taller man sighed.

“Glad you know,” Junsu grinned.

Changmin leered at him, “What are you doing here? How much do you know?”

“I know everything from Yunho’s perspective. I’m hoping to learn about your side of the story.”

“Junsu, I…I don’t know a nicer way to say this, but…this isn’t any of your business.”

“Don’t worry, that’ll be as nice as it gets. I’m not offended,” Junsu paused. “And you know what? Because it doesn’t seem to be any of my business, it’s easier for me to handle. So let’s talk about your side of the story.”

“Junsu, please…” Changmin rubbed his temple and closed his eyes to shut out the persistent headache.

“Changmin, let me play middle person. Please, I owe the both of you.”

“Junsu, there’s nothing you can do…”

“There’s always something I can do. There’s always something that a third person can do, something that the two main leads are unable to do.”

“The two main leads are Yunho and Jaejoong,” the taller man sighed again. Junsu finally noticed that Changmin looked like he hadn’t slept in the past two days.

“Changmin, please talk.”

Changmin ran a hand through his hair in frustration as he bit his lower lip. Junsu knew, Junsu knew that Changmin was about to crack. Two days without Yunho (and all these months of pretending he didn’t love Yunho); this is what Changmin turned into.

“From the beginning, I always thought…I always thought that Yunho was in love with Jaejoong. It just…seemed that way. And they just seemed like such a fitting couple. I thought that the only reason they weren’t together was because Yunho knew that Yoochun is in love with Jaejoong…so he stayed away. Yunho didn’t want to hurt Yoochun or the precious friendship between Yoochun and Jaejoong.”

“Just like you don’t want to come between Yunho and Jaejoong.”

“Yunho has influenced me a lot. I used to think that…if he’s so courageous to sacrifice himself because he didn’t want to come between Yoochun and Jaejoong…then I should be the same. I should be courageous and not come between Yunho and Jaejoong. And then…Yoochun’s death.”

“An opportunity…”

“They were closer. Yunho was always there for Jaejoong and he was all Jaejoong needed. I thought they’d finally be able to get together…not right away, of course.”

“And then you suddenly found out that Yunho is in love with you,” Junsu guessed.

“He was drunk. He was so upset that he went to a bar. I took him home and he…confessed. He didn’t remember anything the next day. But I remembered…and I’ll never be able to forget,” Changmin sat down on the nearest chair because he’d lost energy to continue to stand.

“But…?”

“But by then, Jaejoong had grown so attached, so dependent on Yunho. Jaejoong needs Yunho. He has a genetic inheritance of Depression; it’s a mental disease that he can’t control. He’s already lost Yoochun…”

“Pity. You pitied him and you were afraid to hurt Jaejoong.”

“He needs Yunho.”

“Maybe Jaejoong is stronger than you think. The psychiatrist prescribed him medication for his Depression, didn’t they?”

“I don’t know what to do. I just…started to avoid them, even avoided Yunho at work. And then Yunho showed up at my doorstep that night with a ticket to the show. He looked like he would break down if I rejected. So I accepted. I was so stupid, I accepted. I was weak. I allowed myself to give up, just for that one night though.”

“But you redeemed yourself by running out on the dinner date.”

“Thank you for calling me that night.”

“I’m sorry to have called. Because of that night, it became too apparent that you were trying to push Yunho and Jaejoong together. That was why Yunho confronted you.”

Changmin raised his head to look at the standing man. “He told you?”

“Everything.”

The younger man lowered his head again and sighed. “I don’t know what to do. I really don’t.”

“I’m sorry,” Junsu murmured.

Changmin raised his head again to look into Junsu’s eyes. “Tell me what I can do.”

Junsu wished he could avoid seeing the desperation, the fear, the pain in those eyes. “I wish I could.”

♥♥

“Where have you been? How did it go with Yunho? Why do you look so tired?” Yoochun bombarded Junsu with questions the second Junsu walked into the mansion.

Mr. and Mrs. Kim were sitting in the living room sipping wine and going over some business contracts.

“Hi, Appa, Umma,” Junsu greeted them, completely ignoring Yoochun.

“Junsu, you look so tired. Are you okay?” Mrs. Kim looked worried.

Junsu walked over to her and gave her a hug, shocking both of his parents. “I’m fine, Umma. Thanks.”

Then he gave his father a hug and saw them exchange worried glances. “Don’t look so scared. I just read a story about a family tragedy in the newspaper this morning. I’m thankful to have the both of you.”

“Aww, don’t worry, Sweetie. We’re here for you,” his mother kissed him on the cheek.

“Thank you. Good night.”

Junsu allowed himself to enjoy the beauty of his parents’ proud smiles for a second longer before dragging himself upstairs. Yoochun was already in there waiting for him.

“What happened today?”

“What do you mean?” Junsu mumbled as he threw himself on the bed.

Yoochun stood on the side of the bed looking down at him. “Tell me.”

“I want to sleep.”

“Junsu, tell me,” Yoochun pushed.

“Did you see how happy they were when I hugged them?” Junsu murmured as he stared up at Yoochun, treating himself to a good look at the handsome ghost.

“Your point?”

“I’ve have never done that in the past. I was always the kid who told everyone that I hate my parents.”

Yoochun was frowning and yet he still looked so beautiful. “Junsu, can we talk about this later? Tell me what happened with Yunho.”

“But I’ve changed. I won’t ever tell anyone that I hate my parents. I’m no longer that selfish, arrogant brat that I used to be. I’m no longer uncaring; I’ve learned to feel empathy, to feel guilty.”

“Junsu…”

“And it’s your fault,” Junsu continued as if Yoochun wasn’t trying to interrupt him. “You’ve changed me. I told myself that I want to be like you, so kind and loved by everyone. Because you weren’t selfish, you were caring, you were so perfect.”

“Are you drunk?”

Junsu stopped looking at Yoochun and attached his eyes to the ceiling. “I realized I was wrong today. I always thought I was the bad one and you were the good. I was wrong.”

“What are you trying to say? What happened today?”

“You’re just as selfish and manipulative as me.”

Yoochun was getting impatient. “I am not…”

“You are!” Junsu shouted, pushing himself to stand up from the bed even though his body felt boneless. “You are! Because you tried to make me believe that Yunho doesn’t love Changmin! You tried to make me believe that Yunho loves Jaejoong!”

Chapter 26

“Yunho loves…”

“Yunho loves Changmin! But you didn’t care! You only cared that Jaejoong got to be with Yunho. You only cared that Jaejoong would have Yunho’s heart. But it’s not up to you! You can’t control it! Yunho’s heart belongs to Changmin!”

“No!” Yoochun exclaimed.

“Yes! And you knew! But you still tried to push Yunho to Jaejoong! You didn’t care that it would hurt Yunho, that it would hurt Changmin, and it would hurt Jaejoong!”

“Jaejoong won’t be hurt if…”

“If he gets Yunho? If he gets a man who doesn’t love him in return? Will Jaejoong really be happy?”

“Yes!”

“No!” Junsu shouted. “You lectured me about being selfish, being indifferent to other people’s feelings, but look at yourself! Look at yourself and tell me that you aren’t the same! You’re always saying how selfish and horrible I am, but you’re just as bad! You’re a hypocrite!”

“You didn’t go see Yunho so you could get him to confess to Jaejoong. That’s why you sent me to my parents’ home!” Yoochun pointed an accusing finger at Junsu. “You didn’t want me there!”

“I didn’t! Because I was set on convincing Yunho to get together with Changmin! I’m just as bad as you! I didn’t care who Yunho was in love with, but I was ready to push him to Changmin and away from Jaejoong!”

“If you didn’t know until tonight, then why? Why try to ruin my plans?”

Junsu looked into Yoochun’s black irises, daring him to find the answer from inside himself. And from Yoochun’s expression, Junsu knew that Yoochun regretted asking those questions.

But Junsu will answer anyway.

“Because…”

“No…”

“…I don’t…”

“…don’t…”

“…want you…”

“…say…”

“…to leave.”

Yoochun couldn’t complete his own sentence. He turned his head so that he couldn’t look at Junsu. “You’re too tired to know what you’re saying.”

“Yoochun…”

“Go to sleep. Just…go to sleep. We’ll talk about this tomorrow when you’re sane.”

“I’m not insane!” Junsu protested.

“I don’t know what else to call it!” Yoochun snapped.

“Call it ‘Love’!”

“It’s not ‘Love’!”

“I’m in love with you! I wanted to break Jaejoong and Yunho apart so that you won’t be able to accomplish your last wish, so you would stay with me!”

“You’re insane! Look at me! Look at you!” Yoochun emphasized his point by shaking his head. ‘Impossible,’ his gesture said.

“There has to be a way,” Junsu wasn’t going to give up.

“Do you want to be acting weird for the rest of your life? What will people think of you? Other people can’t see me!”

“I don’t care about what other people think! Not anymore! If I can get pass my own conscience and I’m not hurting anyone else, then I don’t have to care about what other people think!”

Yoochun looked hurt and desperate. He tried to dig for excuses. “Don’t you want a normal family? Have kids?”

“No! None of that means anything without you! I’ve figured out that I’m in love with you. I really am, truly in love with you. Do you love me? You do, don’t you? It’s not possible for me to love you this much and have it NOT end with a happily-ever-after.”

“When have you ever seen a happily-ever-after between two people who don’t even breathe the same air? Hell! I don’t even breathe! I’m dead!”

“It doesn’t matter! You can stick by my side! Just until I die and then we can be ghosts together!” Junsu tried to convince with an encouraging smile.

Yoochun couldn’t allow himself to look at the beautiful smile. “No, Junsu, no. It doesn’t work like that.”

“It’ll work the way we want it to work. As long as we love each other, we can overcome anything.”

“Don’t be crazy.”

“It’s part of being in love.”

“Junsu…”

“Do you love me?”

Yoochun turned his body completely so that his back was towards Junsu. “Don’t do this.”

“Have you figured out that you’re in love with me too?” Junsu sounded hopeful. This fight would end on a happy note. This could count as their first ‘Lovers’ Quarrel.’

“I’m leaving.”

Junsu grabbed Yoochun’s forearm to hold him back. “Answer me.”

“No, I haven’t figured out that I’m in love with you…and I never will.”

Yoochun pulled his arm away and disappeared.

♥♥

Junsu blew his nose and threw the tissue into the trash can. He wrapped the blanket tighter around himself as he continued to watch the movie. It was his fifth romance film of the day, the saddest one: Titanic.

Five different films, so many different kinds of love. Which character was Junsu like? Which character was Yoochun like? What about Jaejoong, Yunho, and Changmin?

What would their ending be?

Junsu glanced over at the medicine his mother had placed on the drawer for him. He felt too lazy to go get it so he didn’t.

He hasn’t seen Yoochun in two days. He misses Yoochun.

‘No, I haven’t figured out that I’m in love with you…and I never will.’

Junsu hoped (prayed) that Yoochun had just said that because he hasn’t accepted that he can make Junsu happy. Junsu tried to remain confident that he can convince Yoochun otherwise. He’ll understand.

Junsu’s head began to ache again and he cursed this fever. He was sitting Indian-style on his bed, but now he just felt like falling over and sleeping again.

With the saddest scene of the movie playing, Junsu felt himself losing consciousness. He began to sway and started to fall over the edge of the bed.

Yoochun appeared out of nowhere to catch him, to prevent him from falling off the bed (possibly hitting his head on something).

“Yoochun?” Junsu tried to keep his eyes open.

“Why didn’t you take your medicine?” Yoochun lectured, settling Junsu back on the bed. But he made Junsu lean on the headboard rather than allow the young man to lie down.

Junsu whimpered a protest when Yoochun released him to walk over to the drawer. He watched with half-open eyes as Yoochun tried to pick up the glass of water and two pills. His hands went right through them.

Yoochun kept trying. He tried, over and over again. But he just couldn’t pick them up.

Frustrated, he walked back over to Junsu and dragged Junsu off the bed. “Go pick up those pills and drink them.”

Junsu leaned on Yoochun for support as he was dragged over to the drawer. He took the medication as instructed. “Thanks,” he tried to give Yoochun his best smile, although he probably looked like hell right now.

Instead of dragging him this time, Yoochun picked Junsu up and carried him back to the bed. He wouldn’t look at Junsu.

“Did you change your mind? Have you realized? Have you been secretly watching over me these past two days?”

Yoochun refused to talk. He pulled the blanket over Junsu and was about to leave again. Junsu grabbed his wrist. “Let go.”

“I’m not going to let go this time.”

“You’re weak,” Yoochun spoke in a cold tone.

“But I still won’t let go,” Junsu put more effort into his hold on Yoochun’s wrist, but still knew that Yoochun could easily fling him away.

“Don’t do this.”

Junsu forced a smile. “Yoochun-ah, remember that day I found out that you actually don’t have those cool magic powers?”

[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“So you really don’t have any powers at all? You can’t make me float in thin air and then drop me down hard?”

“No, I only said it because you believed it…and I needed to scare you or you wouldn’t have followed my instructions,” Yoochun confessed.

“Hmm…good to know,” Junsu nodded.

“I’m not capable of hurting you, Junsu,” Yoochun assured.

“Of course!” Junsu grinned cutely.

[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

Yoochun turned his head to look away. He did this every time he didn’t want Junsu to read his expression, emotions. “I’m sorry. I was wrong. I am capable of hurting you.”

Chapter 27

“No, no, you’re not,” Junsu protested. “All you have to do is realize that you love me, that you won’t be a burden to me. I don’t mind so you shouldn’t mind either. This will work out. You’re willing to wait for me, right?”

“It’s not going to work out.”

“I’ve thought about it Yoochun. If…if you don’t want to wait for me to grow old and die then…I could…”

“No!”

“I could die now and we can be together.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying!” Yoochun shouted as he tried to pull his hand away. Junsu wouldn’t let go so his body was tugged forward, the blanket falling off his upper body.

“Why not? It’s okay! Love is about sacrificing, but still be happy with the ending! I can kill myself and we can…”

Junsu lost his voice when Yoochun’s palm connected with his cheek. The sting on his cheek was so real that he could almost forget that Yoochun was a ghost.

“Don’t say that! You will not kill yourself! You’re only saying that because you’re weak and the medicine…”

“No! I mean it!” Junsu exclaimed, begging Yoochun to believe him.

“Don’t be stupid! You have a whole life ahead of you! You can’t die! Don’t you ever think about killing yourself!”

“I want to be with you!”

“What about your parents and your friends? Do you want them to go through what my family and friends went through? You were just telling me two days ago about how you’ve become a good son for them. But now look what you’re doing!”

Junsu lowered his head in shame. He felt like he was being torn into two.

“I don’t…I don’t want to lose them, any of them. But I don’t want to lose you either. Please, Yoochun, just stay with me. I’ll…I’ll get a job; move out on my own so we can be together in our own house. People won’t think I’m crazy if they don’t see what I do in my own house.”

“Junsu…” Yoochun was now pleading Junsu to understand. His eyes were red and it looked like he wanted to cry.

Junsu felt the piercing in his heart; pierced by needles with names (Desperation, Pain, Fear, Love).

“Please? For me? Stay with me?”

Yoochun closed his eyes and Junsu saw the tear drop fall. His own eyes moistened. Yoochun was crying for him and this gave Junsu more confidence that Yoochun returned his love.

“I’m sorry, Junsu. It’s not that simple. It can’t happen like that.”

“Why? Tell me!”

“You’ll die! If I stay around you for too long then you’ll die! You’ve noticed that you’re constantly tired…”

“Because I’ve been waking up early so I can spend more time with you. But if you stay then I won’t have to worry about waking up early to spend more time with you. If you say, I’ll have plenty of time to spend with you.”

“No! You’re constantly tired because I’m draining your energy! The reason I’m able to stick around is because I’m taking energy from you! It was fine the first couple of weeks because I didn’t require too much energy from you. But the longer I stay, the more energy I need! You’re the only one I can take energy from so if I stay, then you’ll eventually be drained of your own life! There is no happily-ever-after between us. If loving me means death then I’d rather you not love me.”

It struck, like an arrow to the heart. At first there was shock, then there was pain, and last, there was numbness. Death allowed the pain to fade, for the heart to become numb.

But he knew. Junsu knew that the death of a heart didn’t mean the death of love.

“Yoochun, maybe it’s meant to be…”

“No! You’re not meant to die at an early age. Stop thinking about death. Please, just stop.”

‘Stop thinking about death.’

‘Stop loving me,’ he wanted to say, but didn’t. And Junsu was glad that he didn’t. It was already hurting so much.

“Yoochun…”

Yoochun turned his back to Junsu again. “You were right. I shouldn’t be forcing Yunho to love Jaejoong. I’m giving up on that last wish. My parents are healthy and happy. Heebon has a great boyfriend. Jaejoong is seeing a psychiatrist and recovering. I don’t have a reason to stay anymore.”

“No reason at all?” Junsu heard himself say, but his voice didn’t sound like his own.

“None,” Yoochun spoke in a cold voice, a cold and hollow voice. “Good-bye, Junsu. Take care of yourself.”

Junsu used what energy he had left and jumped off the bed. He wrapped his arms around Yoochun and buried his face against Yoochun’s nape. “No, please,” he sobbed in a hoarse voice.

Yoochun’s head was raised, eyes on the ceiling and blinking fiercely. “Let go. You have to let go.”

“This would be easier if you didn’t love me in return,” Junsu murmured. He felt Yoochun’s body tense up a little more as he waited for the denial. The denial didn’t come.

“Junsu…”

“You never denied it when I accused you of returning my feelings. You’re just not the type to deny it when you’re in love with someone. You didn’t deny it when I accused you of being in love with Jaejoong back then and that was when you thought you were in love with him. You’re not denying that you love me now and…”

“I thought I was in love with you.”

“You know that you’re in love with me,” Junsu corrected.

“Junsu, please,” Yoochun begged, but he didn’t struggle to push Junsu away. “I can’t love you.”

“That’s right, you ‘can’t’. That doesn’t mean you ‘don’t’.”

“I have to leave.”

“I know. I know, but not like this. Please, not like this. I don’t want my last impression of you to be like this, as someone who won’t admit that he loves me.”

“Junsu, it’ll only hurt more…”

“If I’m hurting anyway then let me hurt thoroughly. I promise you that I won’t kill myself, I won’t hurt myself, but can’t you give me something as a reward? Anything?”

“It will only be a memory…”

“But it’ll be enough. It’ll take what I can have.”

Junsu hugged Yoochun tighter, burying his tearstained face on Yoochun’s shoulder. And he felt fear when Yoochun tugged his arms away.

But Yoochun didn’t loosen Junsu’s embrace so he could leave (run). He loosened Junsu’s embrace so he could turn around and face Junsu, hug Junsu, and kiss Junsu.

It was slow, soft, sweet. It would become the most precious memory between them, the most precious among so many. Just memories.

“I’m hurting you even more, I’m hurting you even more,” Yoochun murmured against Junsu’s lips. Emotional pain hurt so much more than physical pain.

Junsu raised a hand to Yoochun’s nape and joined their lips for another heartbreaking kiss. “Don’t say that. Don’t. Your kisses would never hurt.”

“They burn. I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to let go,” Yoochun confessed as he laid his forehead against Junsu’s forehead. “I don’t want to let go.”

“I don’t want to let go,” Junsu repeated in a broken voice.

Junsu’s hands formed fists as he clamped his fingers onto Yoochun’s forearms. Immediately feeling the chains, Yoochun pulled away. He had to because he knew that Junsu wouldn’t.

“I have to let go.”

“Yoochun…” Junsu whimpered when Yoochun took a step backwards.

“It’s easier for me to let go. You have so much more to lose, your life, your family, your friends. I’ve already lost all of that.”

But in his dark eyes, Junsu knew that Yoochun knew. Yoochun knew that he’d already lost his life, family, and friends. And now he’d only lose Junsu, but the pain was still agonizing.

Junsu would lose Yoochun, but he still had his life, family, and friends. But he’d lose Yoochun. Yoochun.

“I have to let go. I have to make this decision for the both of us. If you truly love me, then you’ll support this decision.”

“I know,” Junsu blinked away the tears. He knew, but he didn’t like it at all. There was the bitterness in his words and he hated it, hated it so much.

He wanted to die, so much, so much. He wanted to die, right now, right here. But he won’t.

“I love you,” Yoochun finally said. And Junsu felt like the pain of those words would be worth it.

“I…” Junsu paused as he choked on a sob. He had to try again, he wanted it to be perfect, “I love you.”

Yoochun opened his mouth; looked into Junsu’s moist eyes and he looked like he wanted to say more. But he couldn’t. He covered his mouth with his hand and turned his back to Junsu to muffle an agonizing sob.

He couldn’t turn back to look at Junsu. If he turned back, he wouldn’t be able to leave.

He disappeared right in front of Junsu’s eyes, fading away, but Junsu could imagine Yoochun running, each footstep was a painful sound to his heart.

Junsu slumped onto the floor and his head lowered in despair. He allowed the tears to freely flow as he placed both hands over his chest, over his beating heart.

His heart.

Yoochun’s heart.

Filmstrips of their memories reeled in Junsu’s mind. One hand remained over his heart as the other slowly reached up to touch his own earlobe.

Yoochun used to rub his ear a lot too…at first. But then that habit just kind of…died off.

Chapter 28

A/N: I'm deeply, deeply sorry about the long, long wait! Thank you to everyone who continued to send me messages to encourage me (you know who you lovelies♥ are). Here's the end of it and I'm sorry if it seems rushed (and cliche). I have another project coming up and I knew that if I didn't finish this now, I don't know when I'll be able to.

If you guys are still reading after so long, then please accept my apologies! Thank you so much! Hope everyone is healthy and doing great! Keep smiling, keep laughing! Take care! ^___^

♥♥

Junsu stopped walking when he saw the couple standing in front of him. They were in the middle of a sidewalk with faceless people passing. The couple walked closer to him and soon they were face to face.

"Hi, how have you been? We haven't seen you in two weeks."

Junsu looked down at their connected hands before raising his head back up to look at their sincere smiles. He replied, "I've been doing well. I've been busy these two weeks because I'm shadowing my parents."

"Training yourself to inherit the family business?"

"Maybe not," Junsu shrugged. "I don't think I'm cut out to do business like them, but I'm working on a proposal to start a non-profit organization, sort of a branch for the company. I think it's what I want to do the most."

"That's very sweet of you," Yunho smiled and Junsu realized how much he missed it.

The truth was, he avoided six specific people these past two weeks because they reminded him too much of Yoochun. But then, everything reminded him of Yoochun.

It wasn't as if he could go to any of them and tell them, 'I miss Yoochun.' They wouldn't be able to see the reason for Junsu's tears.

"How have you guys been?" Junsu inquired, taking another quick glance at their connected hands.

"Good," Yunho answered.

"Really good," Changmin corrected.

"Does...Jaejoong know?" Junsu had to ask.

"Yes, and he congratulated us," Yunho smiled lovingly at Changmin, his hand tightening the hold on the taller man's hand.

"Really? That's good," Junsu smiled because he was happy for them.

"Thank you," Changmin placed an appreciating hand on Junsu's shoulder.

"I didn't do anything," Junsu blinked.

"You pushed us to the edge and we ended up confessing to each other," Yunho grinned. "You're our matchmaker."

Junsu wanted to laugh at the irony. Funny, he was supposed to be Yunho and Jaejoong's matchmaker. But what good is a matchmaker with a broken heart?

Or could a broken heart be the best teacher of love?

"Where are you heading? Want to join us for a meal? My treat," Changmin invited.

"That's okay. I actually need to meet my parents for lunch," Junsu lied. "You two enjoy."

"Okay, but let us treat you another time," Yunho pleaded. Junsu saw the sincere appreciation in his eyes. Junsu wondered if it was really his unexpected plans to force these two to talk, to release their feelings in words that had brought them together.

Junsu wanted to ask the Heavens, 'why can't I be happy like them?' There was still that selfishness in him that wanted to be happy.

"Okay, how about tomorrow?" Junsu suggested. It's about time he started to get his life back on track and face the pain.

"Great! Tomorrow then!" Yunho looked so happy and because he looked so happy, Changmin looked even happier.

"You pick the restaurant," Changmin offered.

"'Timeless'."

"Okay, how about for dinner at seven then?"

"Okay, see you guys tomorrow at seven."

“See you tomorrow, Junsu.”

They bid their farewells and went separate way. Instead of going to meet up with his parents like he had said, Junsu continued to wander the streets. He just...wandered, because there wasn't anything else he wanted to do.

What can you really do when you're like this? The most delicious food was tasteless. The happiest smile wasn't contagious. The most genuine laughter didn't sound like music. Even seeing other people in love left a bitter taste in the heart.

How much longer before these days fade? How much longer before he can forget?

Junsu certainly wasn't allowed to ask, 'How much longer before I can be with Yoochun again?'

It was impossible to be with Yoochun. It was impossible to forget that he loves Yoochun. Junsu had to pick between two 'impossibles' and he could only pick to ask 'How much longer before I can forget?' Perhaps on the day he dies.

Will he be able to meet Yoochun again? In another lifetime, perhaps? If they're meant for each other, they'll be together in their next life, wouldn't they? Wouldn't they?

Junsu found an isolated bench in the park and decided to settle there. His shoulders slumped and his breath came out as a sigh. No one else was around so Junsu raised his head to look up at the sky, just like Yoochun always did when he sat on the balcony.

"Yoochun-ah," Junsu murmured softly. "How are you? I'm doing well. I've been working really hard to learn business stuff from my parents. I'm trying to make them proud. I made them a meal last night and this time, it turned out decent."

Junsu paused for a moment. He decided not to 'tell Yoochun' that he didn't cook ddok bok ki because it reminded him too much of lost love.

"They're doing well. They're happy and seeing them happy makes me happy too. They went to dinner with your family two days ago. I...I was supposed to go too, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. I'm sorry," Junsu heard his own voice crack so he stopped talking.

Junsu blinked fiercely so that the tears would stop forming. He'd promised himself (and Yoochun) that he wouldn't cry. Not anymore. Not after the first three days without Yoochun.

"I'm sorry, Yoochun, I'm sorry," Junsu sobbed as the tears finally fell. "I'm so stupid. I can't believe this. We were together for less than six months. How could I have fallen so deep? It's ridiculous. I expected it to be temporary, maybe I just thought I was in love with you because it would be fun, interesting. I wanted to be like those characters in movies. But it's still here, Yoochun. It's still here...but you're not."

He buried his tear-stained face in his hands, wishing he could touch Yoochun's hands, just...be able to touch his hands.

"Easy come, easy go. It was supposed to be easy come, easy go. It hit me quick and hard and it was supposed to leave just as fast. Is it the connection we had that allowed me to see you? Does having your heart give me the connection, to make me love you this much? I don't know. I can't understand. I can't."

He had Yoochun's heart, figuratively and literally. Other people just had their other half's heart, figuratively, but Junsu had both. And that was why he was miserable. The irony of this made him laugh, bitterly.

When the tears ended and the only signs of the crying session were Junsu's red eyes, he was able to stand up again. He stood back up on his feet and started to walk (to move on).

Junsu would move on...just until he took another break and stopped to remember...and then he would stand up to move on again.

Junsu stood on the sidewalk and waited for the light to turn red. His head was raised and he smiled politely at any passerby who smiled at him. He didn't look up at the sky though; afraid he'd think of...

The silver SUV stopped in front of him, along with several other cars (because the street light was now red). The symbol of a walking figure flashed on the other end of the street, telling Junsu to walk. It was saying, 'Walk, Junsu, keep walking.'

But Junsu didn't walk, didn't cross the streets with all of the other pedestrians. He saw the person in the silver SUV, calling to him. So he walked to the silver SUV.

The window rolled down and the driver invited, "Junsu, climb in."

"Hi, Jaejoong," Junsu smiled politely as he got into the car. He fastened his seatbelt before turning to look at Jaejoong. The older man looked normal, as handsome as the first time Junsu met him at the hospital.

"Haven't seen you in weeks," Jaejoong pointed out as he started to drive (the light was green again and the chance for pedestrians to cross the streets was over).

"Yeah, I've been busy. How are you doing?"

"Good, I just came back from the pharmacy," Jaejoong replied, eyes on the road. "Yunho called in for a refill for me and I had to go pick it up."

"How much longer do you need to take that medication?"

"I don't know," he shrugged casually as he turned the wheel. "It's a heredity disease. I don't...I can't control it. I don't like not being able to control my life. It feels good to be in control, because you get to decide, to make decisions."

Junsu watched the wheel in Jaejoong's hands, the way he drove with ease, in complete control of the vehicle. Something bothered Junsu, but he couldn't figure out what.

"Jaejoong, how are you doing?" Junsu heard himself ask again.

"What do you want to hear? That I'm really hurting? That I wish Yunho loved me instead of Changmin?" Jaejoong spoke in a soft, casual voice, as if he was talking about a movie (not reality).

"Jaejoong, I'm sorry..." Junsu murmured, his head lowering.

"You should be. You were the one who brought Yunho and Changmin together."

Junsu raised his head in shock, staring at Jaejoong and wondering if those words had really come out of the other man's mouth. Jaejoong still had his eyes on the road, looking ever so casual and calm.

"Jaejoong..."

"What should I be feeling, Junsu? Hurt? I've lost the one I love. Should I be feeling hurt? It hurt when I found out that Yunho loves Changmin, but it hurt even more when I found out that Yunho had finally confessed and was happily together with Changmin."

"I'm sorry..."

"It hurt so much. Do you wonder if I considered killing myself?" Jaejoong murmured in that same, casual tone. Junsu glanced at the small bag with the Pharmacy logo on it, sitting under the armrest between them with the receipt still attached to it. Then his eyes suddenly caught sight of an orange bottle in the backseat, filled with pills. The name of the medicine on the receipt (dated today) was the same as the name of the medicine on the orange bottle...the filled orange bottle.

Was Jaejoong not taking the medicine?

Jaejoong's voice drew Junsu's attention away from the medication. "Wouldn't it be nice? To just kill yourself to avoid the pain? Is it worth it, to kill yourself for love?"

"No, Jaejoong, no," Junsu immediately answered, too concerned about Jaejoong's words to continue wondering about the bottle of medication.

"No? Would you, Junsu? Would you kill yourself for love?"

Junsu knew he'd thought about it (too often). He knew he'd be a hypocrite if he denied Jaejoong the same thought.

But a thought and an action are two completely different things.

"No..." Junsu replied in a weak voice.

"Don't be a hypocrite, Junsu."

Chapter 29

Junsu's eyes widened in shock and his right hand clamped onto the armrest. "What? How did you...?"

Could Jaejoong read his mind?

"You would, wouldn't you? You'd kill yourself for the one that your heart belongs to," Jaejoong said, eyes still on the road.

The road, where were they going anyway? Junsu looked around. He couldn't recognize anything. Everything outside looked so foggy and blurred. His mind was messing with him. This was all psychological, all psychological!

"No, Jaejoong, I can't. Stop thinking like this."

"You can't because you're not allowed. But you would, wouldn't you?"

"No! No, I wouldn't!" Junsu shouted. "And you shouldn't either!"

Then a smile suddenly appeared on Jaejoong's lips. Junsu felt so much more confused, and even a bit afraid. In the same calm voice, the older man asked, "Who does your heart belong to, Junsu?"

"What?"

"I know that my heart belongs to Yunho. I know that Yunho's heart belongs to Changmin. I know that Changmin's heart belongs to Yunho. I know that Yoochun's heart belongs to you," Jaejoong turned his head away from the road, but he didn't look at Junsu's face, he only looked at Junsu's chest, the area where Yoochun's heart was beating. "Who does your heart belong to?"

Junsu blinked. He's stopped breathing for a moment there when Jaejoong said, 'I know that Yoochun's heart belongs to you.' Junsu had thought that Jaejoong KNEW, but then...how could he? When Jaejoong stared at his chest, Junsu released a breath and concluded that Jaejoong was speaking literally, not figuratively (because he only knew that Junsu had Yoochun's heart...literally, not figuratively).

"No one," Junsu lied. Then he realized that he should be feeling uneasy because Jaejoong's eyes were still on his heart and not the road.

Junsu was about to point out the fact, but then Jaejoong's head raised to meet Junsu's eyes. Junsu lost his voice when he saw Jaejoong's eyes. In a soft voice, Jaejoong said, "Yoochun would hate to hear that lie."

Junsu's eyes widened, wanting to ask. But out of the corner of his eye, he saw the fog begin to clear and everything came into view. A large truck was coming towards them!

"Jaejoong, look out!"

Junsu was frantic as he tried to turn the wheel, but it wouldn't budge. Jaejoong leaned back into the seat and smiled lightly before closing his eyes. Junsu panicked, turned his head to see the truck heading their way.

Did Jaejoong want to commit suicide?

Junsu released his seatbelt, clenched his eyes together and threw his body over Jaejoong's body.

The crash came, but Junsu didn't feel any pain.

♥♥

Junsu blinked once; blinked twice. Then he closed his eyes again because it was so much easier.

He tried to move his body, but only managed to move his fingers.

“He’s waking up! I’ll go get the doctor!”

“Junsu! Junsu! Can you hear me?”

Junsu frowned a little at the voices for intruding his rest.

Wait, was he asleep? For how long? Why did he feel so groggy?

But…wasn’t he supposed to be dead? The last thing…the last thing he remembered was...Jaejoong! He was in a car with Jaejoong, Jaejoong was driving! Jaejoong didn't turn away from the truck because...because he wanted to commit suicide! The Depression had gotten to him and Jaejoong wasn’t taking his medication for it! He wanted to kill himself! Junsu was with him!

Was he dead?

What else was there? What else was Junsu forgetting?

“Junsu!” came his mother’s sob.

Junsu finally felt the small hands that covered his own hand. He gained better control of his body and it was easier to keep his eyes open this time. He saw his parents.

“Where am I?” he tried to say, but it came out sounding hoarse and dry, as if he hadn’t used his voice in a long, long time.

“Sweetie, don’t worry, you’ll be fine. The surgery was a success.”

His vision stopped blurring and he saw his mother’s crying eyes as she held his hand against her cheek.

“Surgery?”

“I’ll explain it to you later. Just know that you’ll be okay.”

Why did all this sound so familiar?

"Umma, what's going on?" Junsu insisted.

"You were in a car accident and were taken to the hospital. You were attached to a machine for days because your own heart was too weak. Luckily, after you were..."

"...in a coma for two days," Junsu said, recalling these exact words from months ago when he first woke up from the heart surgery, the surgery in which he got Yoochun's heart. Why was his mother repeating these words?

"Yes," his father said, looking as shocked as his mother. "We received news that a transplant was available..."

"What? What transplant? I was just in a car accident," Junsu couldn't understand. He was in a suicidal car accident with Jaejoong and he probably had to get surgery for heavy injuries, but another transplant? No way!

"Yes, you were. And your heart became too weak, but we were blessed with a donor..."

Junsu wanted to know details about THIS time's accident. Why were they telling him about LAST time's accident?

"I know, I know. The donor died in a vehicle accident months ago and I was given his heart."

"Months ago?" His parents blinked in confusion, as if not expecting Junsu to know.

What was going on?

"Junsu, how did you know all this?"

"You told me!" Junsu tried to explain. They did tell him, when he woke up from that first car accident months ago. Didn't they remember?

"Junsu..."

"I remember that day! Don't you? I remember you telling me that I'd been in a coma. I remember you telling me that the donor was in a car accident. I remember that you later told me you found the donor's family. You found out the donor's name and his name is Park Yoochun."

"Actually..." Junsu turned his head to the door to see his doctor walk in. It was the same doctor who's treated Junsu for his heart disease ever since he was born. "...your donor's name isn't ‘Park Yoochun,’ it's ‘Kim Jaejoong’."

♥♥

Junsu was in shock, but he really didn't want his parents to worry. So he told them that he was confused about another matter and that he'd be okay. He suggested they go home and rest before coming back to visit him again later tonight. They looked so surprised by Junsu's sincere attitude that it made Junsu feel so, very guilty.

As soon as they left, he climbed out of bed and shuffled to the front desk. He felt weak and tired, but the doctor had said that it was normal.

Junsu explained his situation to the nurse and said that he wanted to personally thank the family and friend of his donor. When he got the room number, he nearly ran to it. But then he turned the corner, into an empty corridor, and stopped in his step.

The corridor was empty, except for the man standing in the middle of it. The man with black irises.

"Jaejoong..." Junsu murmured.

"Hello, Junsu," Jaejoong smiled warmly. It was a genuine smile.

"What's going on, Jaejoong?"

"If you run into the room right now, you'll freak Yoochun out. I'm here to prevent you from leaving a bad first impression," Jaejoong said.

"What? I don't understand. Isn't Yoochun dead? Don't I have his heart?" Junsu placed a hand over the specific area on his chest. "Why did the doctor say that you're my donor?"

"You’ll have Yoochun's heart one day, but only figuratively. For now, you have my heart…in the literal sense," Jaejoong explained.

Junsu placed a hand over his mouth to muffle a soft gasp. He stared into those black irises. "You're dead."

Jaejoong smiled lightly, "Yes, I was the one who died in the vehicle accident, I shielded him."

"But...how...I...don't...I don't understand..."

Jaejoong turned his head to look around. "Let's go back to your room before someone sees you talking to thin air."

Junsu glanced around. Then recalled the room number and wished he could go see Yoochun right now. But he'd restrain. He had to.

Junsu nodded and walked back to his own hospital room, closing and locking the door. Jaejoong was already there, settled in a chair.

Junsu sat on a chair and listened, clinging to every word.

"I controlled the whole thing. It was all a dream for you, but I controlled it. When I died, my guardian told me that I would be granted a wish."

"Guardian?"

"I can't tell you too much about her, so don't ask. You'll meet your guardian when your time comes."

"Is that how it works?"

"Yes. You die and you get a guardian who leads you. Mine allowed me a final wish because I died trying to protect Yoochun."

Chapter 30

"What was your wish?"

"I wanted Yoochun to find true love. She showed me who Yoochun is meant to be with, who he would cross paths with eventually and fall in love with."

Junsu suddenly felt happy and hopeful. "It was me, wasn't it? Wasn't it?"

"Yes, you're the one he's meant to be with," Jaejoong smiled, as if approving of Junsu's bliss. "He was supposed to meet you in two years and it wasn't going to be a good start."

"Why?"

"Because you're such a spoiled brat. I didn't want Yoochun to have to wait that long, to suffer the guilt of my death on his own. I didn't want him to put up with a brat like you. He was supposed to meet you in two years and it takes another year before you stop acting like a brat. He wouldn't like you at all."

"But we're meant for each other. I would have changed for him eventually."

"I know, and I know that Yoochun would be happy with you. Why wait two years? Why can't I give him those two years of happiness starting now? I'm not allowed to wish for him to have a longer life span, but I was allowed to wish for him to spend more of his life span happily."

"So you shortened the length of time, to give us more time to be together," Junsu concluded. Jaejoong nodded and Junsu smiled, "Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Are you sure you want to thank me? I made you suffer in that dream."

"Yeah, but it pushed me to change faster. I'm so glad, so glad that you've taught me to change. I wouldn't want Yoochun to have to put up with my attitude either. Thank you so much, Jaejoong. Thank you."

"I can tell that you'll cherish him. And I guarantee you; the people portrayed in your dream are exactly the same as the people in real life, attitude and everything. You fell in love with the real Yoochun."

Junsu smiled. Yoochun wasn't perfect in his dream, had flaws, but Junsu still fell in love with him. They're meant to be together. They're really meant to be together.

The smile on Junsu's lips started to fade as he wondered, "What about Yunho and Changmin?"

Jaejoong turned his head to look out the window. "They really are in love with each other. I guess I used that dream to let me experience some more precious alone time with Yunho. I'm allowed to be a little selfish."

"That hurts," Junsu murmured.

"Don't pity me. I got the memories and I know that they'll be happy together. I just hope Yunho won't hurt too much when he comes back from Tokyo to find out that I'm...not there waiting for him."

"That's not possible."

"I know," Jaejoong sighed. "But that's how it works. Some couples are meant to be together, one lifetime after another. Others are only given several lifetimes and after that, they reincarnate to become strangers to each other."

"Are Yoochun and I one of those couples?" Jaejoong turned his eyes back on Junsu and Junsu realized how selfish his statement sounded. "I mean..."

"It's okay. You can't change completely so quickly and it's only human nature to be selfish. Besides, you're being selfish for Yoochun too. But I can't tell you. I don't know. I just know that it's the end for Yunho and me."

Jaejoong decided it was better to not tell Junsu that this lifetime was supposed to be his and Yoochun’s last, where they would fall in love, but end tragically (but Jaejoong had used his last wish to change that). Junsu didn’t need to know this…and Jaejoong wasn’t allowed to tell him anyway.

"Jaejoong..."

"Don't pity me."

"That's not possible."

"I know," the man with the black irises sighed again. He looked at Junsu's hands and saw the fidgeting, understanding. "Go visit Yoochun. Don't do anything to freak him out."

Junsu broke into a grin. "Thank you! I'll talk to you again afterwards. Do you...want to come with me?"

"No, you go ahead."

Junsu nodded and wished he could do something, anything to repay Jaejoong. And that something, that anything, may just be to make Yoochun happy.

Junsu stood up and raced over to Yoochun's hospital room. There were no visitors (Jaejoong probably knew that) and Yoochun was sleeping. There were still scars on him, but the bandages were off. He still looked pale, but even more beautiful than Junsu remembered.

Junsu quietly took a seat next to the bed and stared lovingly at the sleeping man. So beautiful, so handsome, so...sad.

Junsu saw the frown begin to form and his hand automatically reached over to smooth it away. Yoochun was having a bad dream.

"It's okay, you're okay," Junsu whispered.

Yoochun's eyes slowly opened, just a little as he murmured, "Jaejoong?"

"No, I'm sorry," Junsu murmured as he pulled his hand away. The softness of Yoochun's skin still tingled on his fingers. He missed the contact.

When Yoochun regained full consciousness, he asked, "Who are you?"

That hurt, but the pain was nothing compared to what Junsu went through when Yoochun left...in the dream. "My name is Kim Junsu. Nice to meet you."

Junsu extended his hand politely. Yoochun pushed himself up so that he could lean on the headboard. "Kim Junsu?"

Junsu watched as Yoochun's eyes traveled to the area where Jaejoong's heart was beating. "Yeah, Kim Junsu."

A sad smile formed on Yoochun's lips as he raised his eyes to meet Junsu's eyes. "Nice to meet you. Park Yoochun."

Junsu smiled lightly, knowing it would be inappropriate to break into a grin in a situation like this. "I like your name."

Yoochun's smile brightened up a little, his eyes soft. "Thank you."

"Do you want anything? Water? Food?"

"How are you feeling?" Yoochun suddenly asked, sneaking another glance at Junsu's chest. Junsu noticed that Yoochun was unconsciously rubbing his right earlobe.

"I'm doing really well. I'm very thankful for Jaejoong and I'll cherish this opportunity that he's given me."

Yoochun blinked his slightly moist eyes and smiled, nodding, "That's good. He'd...he'd be happy to know that."

"I'm sorry, it must be so hard for you," Junsu spoke in a sincere voice.

"You've just made me feel better. Jaejoong would like to know that his heart went to such a kind, well-mannered person."

Junsu felt his pride swell and his heart soar. "Thank you. Um...so do you want to eat something? I can go buy some food from the cafeteria and bring it up here. We can...talk. You can tell me about Jaejoong."

That seemed to hit the spot because Yoochun's eyes brightened. "Really?"

"Yes, of course."

"Okay, what do you think we should eat?"

"How about ddok bok gi?"

"Okay!"

♥♥

"He just kept talking about you. I'm so jealous."

Jaejoong chuckled, "That's a good sign. I'm surprised that he opened up so easily to you."

"Probably because I have your heart, he feels a connection. I just hope he doesn't just see me as a replacement for you. I don't want to just be his best friend..."

"No one will ever be able to replace me in his heart," Jaejoong spoke proudly.

And Junsu smiled, "I know."

"Did he cry?"

"A lot, but before I left, he thanked me. He thanked me for listening to him talk about you and allowing him to let all his emotions run free. I think he avoided talking about you to his family because he didn't want them to worry."

"He and I are alike in some areas.”

“Is he weird like you? I don’t think it was necessary to make me think that you were a crazy, suicidal person.”

“It wasn’t necessary,” Jaejoong confirmed.

“Then why’d you do it? It was kind of creepy.”

Jaejoong just shrugged with a smile, “It was fun. I wanted to be a film producer when I was a kid, you know?”

Junsu smiled at the older man’s humor. “I didn’t know, but I’m sure Yoochun will eventually get around to telling me that.”

“He will,” Jaejoong nodded, smile still on his lips. “I don’t want him to ever forget me, and I know he won’t. I just hope for the day when he’ll be happy when he remembers me.”

“It takes time.”

Jaejoong nodded again, “It takes time.”

They were silent for a few, long seconds before Junsu spoke again, “How long will it take for him to fall in love with me…I mean, since we’re meant to fall in love with each other eventually?”

“It takes time,” was all Jaejoong said and Junsu found himself chuckling at the answer.

A couple more second dragged by and Junsu spoke again.

“Before he was meant to fall in love with me…like, right now…does Yoochun have someone he…likes?” Junsu didn’t want to use the word ‘love’. “He was in like with you in the dream. Is he in like with you in real life? I mean, he probably never confessed, but maybe you just don’t know that he’s actually in love…in like with you.”

Jaejoong raised an amused eyebrow at the rambling man. He told himself that he should feel proud of how much of a love-sick puppy Junsu was.

Jaejoong knew there was more for Junsu to learn; there were still a lot of gaps between Junsu and Yoochun. Love just wasn’t enough and with time, Junsu and Yoochun would learn to fill those gaps with trust, friendship, understanding, etc.

Chapter 31

“He had a small crush on me back in middle school, but that died off pretty quick.”

“Really? Why?”

”He invited me to his house once and I insulted everything in his room,” Jaejoong recalled, laughter in his eyes.

Junsu blinked. “It was messy?” he guessed.

“It was all Mashimaro. I told him that I don’t like the fat bunny and the next day, he bought me flowers.”

Junsu’s brows furrowed with confusion. “Huh?”

“He held up the flowers in my face and said, ‘I’m sorry. We can only be friends.’”

“Flowers as a break-up gift? Aww…” Junsu cooed, imagining a very young and naïve Yoochun holding a bouquet of flowers.

“We hadn’t even gotten official,” Jaejoong drawled.

“Oh, well, even cuter. He’s so sweet,” Junsu sighed with a happy grin taking over his face. “He must have been such a cute, innocent middle schooler.”

Jaejoong’s eyes showed amusement. “No, he stuffed those flowers in my face because he knew that I was allergic.”

“Oh…” Junsu murmured. He wasn’t sure how to react for a moment, but a couple seconds passed and Junsu finally said, “He’s still very cute.”

Jaejoong rolled his eyes. “Of course, he can do anything horrible and still be ‘cute’ to you.”

Junsu grinned. “I’ll agree only because I know he won’t really do anything horrible…except stuff flower in your face.”

Jaejoong stared at Junsu’s grin and almost lost himself in the happiness that Junsu was exerting. Junsu noticed Jaejoong’s leer and stopped grinning. Junsu murmured, “Sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“I shouldn’t be looking so happy when…”

“It’s not appropriate to look so happy in front of a broken heart,” Jaejoong said a matter-of-factly. “But I don’t have a broken heart.”

Junsu wondered if he imagined the twitch in his beating heart. “You’re amazing, Jaejoong.”

Jaejoong’s eyes lowered for a second before he raised them again. “I have something else to tell you before I leave.”

Junsu tried not to look sad at the idea of Jaejoong leaving. “O…okay.”

“Yoochun and I got married…”

Junsu’s eyes looked like they were going to pop out of their sockets. “What? When? Who?”

“Married, when we were really young, by a tree,” he answered each question.

“Huh?”

[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“What are you doing?”

“Were you there? Did you see how pretty the whole thing was?”

“It was okay. Why?”

“I want to have a party like that too. It was so pretty!”

The taller boy turned his head to look at their surroundings. Other people were still standing in front of the church taking pictures with the newlyweds while he and this shorter kid were hiding on the other side of the large building.

“You can have your pretty party,” the taller boy suggested.

“Really?” the shorter boy’s eyes were shining.

The taller boy took the shorter boy’s hand and walked him over to a tall tree. He removed his black suit jacket and hung it on a branch. Then he tugged the shorter boy so that they both stood side by side in front of the tree.

“This will be the guy wearing that black dress.”

“The guy was wearing a dress?” the shorter boy blinked in shock.

“Close enough,” the taller boy shrugged. He tried to play ventriloquist and repeated whatever words he remembered hearing during the grand wedding ceremony.

The shorter boy giggled. “Are you done yet?”

“‘Blah, blah, blah, now you can give each other shiny rings.’”

The shorter boy looked around them. “We don’t have shiny rings,” he pouted sadly.

The taller boy knelt down to pick up some long strands of grass around the tree’s stump. He took a minute to weave the strands of grass into a ring.

“There!” he presented it to the shorter boy. “This one is even better because it’s green!”

The shorter boy laughed and clapped happily. “Let’s finish my pretty party!”

The taller boy stood back up and they stood side by side again. He slipped the ring onto the shorter boy’s finger.

Then he tapped at his cheek with an index finger to try to remember what happened after the exchanging of rings.

“Now what?” the shorter boy asked.

“I remember more talking, ‘Blah, blah, blah’ and then…” he thought hard to remember. Then he snapped his fingers. “Oh, yeah! He said, ‘You may kiss the bride’ or something.”

“Oh, okay, am I the bride?”

“Sure,” the taller boy shrugged. He leaned in to give the shorter boy a quick peck on the lips. “There! You just got your own pretty party!”

“Wait, wait, isn’t there another last line?”

The taller boy tried to remember. When he finally remembered, he said, “The tree now pronounces us ‘man and wife’.”

The shorter boy giggled. “But how does that work? You’re not a ‘man’. You’re just a ‘kid’ like me.”

“Oh,” the taller boy murmured. “I guess we’ll play this again when I’m old enough to be a ‘man’.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Sure.”

“Okay! Pinky square!”

The taller boy wondered if it was ‘pinky square’ or ‘pinky swear’. Who cares.

Their little pinkies connected and a promise was made.

They heard the sound of car engines and ran back to the front of the church. People were beginning to leave.

“I see my parents. I have to get going. Bye!”

“Wait, wait, what’s your name?”

[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]

“You were the tall kid and Yoochun was the short one?”

“YOU were the tall kid and Yoochun was the short one,” Jaejoong spoke in a determined tone, eyes meeting Junsu’s eyes.

Junsu blinked. And then he understood.

“I can’t do that. He’d know…”

“He doesn’t. I remember the memory because I was older than him at that time. He probably won’t remember it unless you remind him. If you’re able to repeat that whole memory to him in detail, then he’ll believe that you were the tall kid.”

“If you remember then why didn’t you tell him?”

“I remembered it after the whole ‘stuffing flower in my poor allergic face’ event. He decided that we can’t be together because I don’t like Mashimaro so there was no point in reminding him,” Jaejoong shrugged.

“But…no, I can’t. I don’t want to…”

“Junsu, it won’t hurt anyone. It’ll make Yoochun fall in love with you faster.”

“But if he’ll fall in love with me eventually, then why? I mean, we’re meant for each other anyway…”

Jaejoong raised his hands to rub the area between his eyes. “Junsu…I didn’t want to tell you this, but…the reason my final wish is to get you and Yoochun together is because…you two weren’t meant to last in this lifetime. The two of you will fall in love, but things will happen to tear the two of you apart.”

Junsu gasped, covering his mouth with one hand. He didn’t expect that. “I thought…I thought you said that you were just trying to save us time…”

“I’m not supposed to tell you this,” Jaejoong confessed.

Junsu’s eyes shifted around the room. “Oh, no, will anyone find out? Will you get in trouble?”

“It doesn’t matter. Just…please, I want to do what I can to bring the two of you together. Use any time you have to build a strong relationships; don’t let misunderstanding or mistrust tear the two of you apart.”

Junsu’s eyes softened and he reached out to touch Jaejoong’s hand. “Jaejoong, thank you.”

“You can thank me by making Yoochun happy. He’s not meant to be happy without you.”

Junsu nodded. “I’ll do all I can to protect our relationship. I promise.”

Jaejoong smiled weakly, hoping he won’t regret telling Junsu this. But he didn’t have much time left, and that left little choice.

Chapter 32

“Will you…go visit Jaejoong’s grave with me?” Yoochun requested while rubbing his ear nervously.

Junsu smiled warmly, “Of course, I will.”

Yoochun’s uncertain smile turned into a grateful grin. “Thank you.”

“Shall we go buy some stuff to bring him?” Junsu suggested.

Yoochun found it utterly sweet of Junsu to think of Jaejoong as a friend even though Junsu has never met Jaejoong (or so Yoochun thinks). “Anything will do…as long as it’s not flowers.”

Junsu thought about the statement for a second. Then he recalled an image of little Yoochun stuffing flowers into a little Jaejoong’s face. He accidentally released a giggle.

Yoochun cocked an eyebrow, “What’s so funny?”

Junsu stopped laughing, “Nothing, I was just…wondering…why not flowers?”

Junsu hated himself for asking that question. He felt like he was lying to Yoochun.

“Jaejoong is allergic to flowers,” Yoochun informed promptly, always so happy to be talking about his deceased best friend. “There was a time in middle school…”

Junsu listened attentively as Yoochun told him about the memory that he already knew.

“You’re so horrible!” Junsu reacted as expected.

Yoochun laughed and it was music to Junsu’s heart. “It was his fault! He insulted Mashimaro!”

“He never liked Marshimaro?”

“No, he’s never admitted to liking Mashimaro; said he’d rather die than admit it…” Yoochun’s voice trailed off slightly and his smile faded. He rubbed his left ear and took in a deep breath. He released it and raised his head again to smile at Junsu. “Ready to go?”

Junsu wanted to hug Yoochun and never let go. He seems to have recovered after Jaejoong’s funeral. He laughed and talked (even when the topic concerned his deceased best friend). But Junsu knew that Yoochun was still hurting inside; he still felt sad sometimes when he recalled that he’d never see his best friend again.

It takes time. Junsu didn’t mind waiting; being there to support Yoochun throughout.

They started to walk out of Junsu’s room (Junsu had invited Yoochun over so he could pick out CDs to borrow). Then Junsu stopped in his track, Yoochun didn’t (wouldn’t) walk without him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Um…”

“Junsu?”

Junsu lowered his head shyly. “It’s…nothing. Just wanted to tell you that…I think Mashimaro is very cool.”

♥♥

“How are you doing?”

“Good, thank you,” Yunho smiled softly. Changmin, who stood next to Yunho, gave the shorter man a squeeze on the shoulder for support.

“He’ll be happy to know,” Yoochun said.

Yunho nodded, forcing a smile. “Yeah, he wouldn’t want us moping around all the time. He’s Jaejoong.”

And that’s all that needs to be said. ‘He’s Jaejoong’ and as his close friends, Yunho and Yoochun had a mutual understanding of what those two words really mean. It took time, but what type of mourning didn’t require time?

And Yunho had Changmin to support him throughout his journey to recovery, just like Yoochun had Junsu.

‘We’ll get through this,’ Yoochun had said to Yunho that day at Jaejoong’s funeral.

Junsu could still remember the day Yunho and Changmin returned from Tokyo. Yunho had gone insane just like he did in the dream while Changmin calmed him. Jaejoong knew them so well, was so good at predicting their reactions.

“We need to get going. Want to have dinner tomorrow night?” Changmin invited, eyes looking at Yoochun and then Junsu.

Junsu was so happy that he was able to get along so well with Yunho and Changmin. They really were like the people in the dream.

“Okay, Yunho and I will cook,” Yoochun offered.

“That’s dangerous,” Junsu peeped in.

“Because Yunho’s cooking?” Yoochun teased. Yunho raised an eyebrow at him.

“Because you’re cooking!” Junsu and Changmin chorused. Yoochun pretended to pout while the others laughed.

Laughing was necessary. Sometimes, it’s not called ‘faking happiness’. It’s called ‘tricking yourself into thinking that you’re happy.’

There’s a difference.

♥♥

They were sitting in the cemetery, next to Jaejoong’s grave. Junsu hasn’t seen Jaejoong since the day the ghost told him about his and Yoochun’s childhood memory. Jaejoong didn’t even show up at his own funeral. Junsu hoped it didn’t have anything to do with Jaejoong revealing that secret to Junsu. Or perhaps Jaejoong had already crossed over into his next life.

Yoochun was wiping at Jaejoong’s picture with a cloth when they felt the sudden breeze. Junsu got a funny feeling in his stomach and he looked down to see three long strands of grass next to his shoe. Were those there before?

Long strands of grass. That same day (the last day he saw Jaejoong), Jaejoong had taught him how to weave a ring with the strands of grass.

Junsu picked up a strand and started to weave.

“Where do you want…?” Yoochun stopped talking when he turned around to see Junsu finish weaving a green ring. It looked awfully familiar. “Junsu?”

Junsu stopped staring at his finished work (it wasn’t too difficult now since Jaejoong had made him practice it fifty times before). He looked up to meet Yoochun’s eyes, seeing confusion and suspicious…with a tinge of realization and hope.

“Not a lot of people know how to do that,” Yoochun murmured.

“I…I’ve known how to do this since I was a kid,” Junsu lied, pretending to stare again at the green ring (because he couldn’t look Yoochun in the eyes).

But then he recalled Jaejoong’s words, ‘You want Yoochun to fall in love with you, don’t you? You want a solid foundation in order to protect yours and his love, don’t you?’

“That’s funny. I feel like it’s extremely familiar to me…” Yoochun wondered out loud as he rubbed his right earlobe.

“You told me a story about when you were in middle school. Let me tell you a story of when I was a kid,” Junsu bargained.

“Okay.”

Junsu told Yoochun the story about the tall kid and the short kid who got married.

“Junsu! Junsu, that kid was me!” Yoochun realized. “I’m pretty sure of it! Oh, my gosh, I can’t believe I forgot!”

“You were really young,” Junsu forced a smile.

“But…aren’t you younger than me?”

Junsu panicked. “I…have a good memory. The human brain is like that. Some people remember things from when they were a kid, other people just don’t.”

“That’s true,” Yoochun nodded, a grin never leaving his lips. “Um…can I have that?”

Junsu smiled and handed Yoochun the ring. Yoochun slipped it on and turned back to Jaejoong’s grave, as if showing off with a ‘look what Junsu can do’ smile.

Junsu hated himself for being such a good liar.

♥♥

“Happy six month anniversary,” Yoochun presented Junsu with a bouquet of roses. “Do you like them? Heebon helped me pick them out.”

Yoochun left out the fact that Heebon picked the flowers with the mind-set that Yoochun was giving the bouquet to his other half. Yoochun had to glare at his baby sister throughout the whole shopping spree. She was horribly snaky with her teases, but Yoochun couldn’t exactly call her a liar.

Junsu blushed a light pink as he accepted the gift with a nod. “Thank you, but um…anniversary for what?”

Last he checked, they still haven’t gotten ‘official’. Yoochun never said anything and Junsu didn’t ask because he didn’t know if it was too soon. He wanted to build a better foundation with friendship first.

But Junsu knew that something else stopped him from asking Yoochun to be his boyfriend.

“Six months ago today was the first day that we met each other,” Yoochun reminded, a little sadness in his eyes.

“Oh! I’m sorry for forgetting!” Junsu felt guilty (something he‘s been feeling a lot lately).

Yoochun chuckled, “I thought you said you have a good memory.”

Junsu pretended to shift his eyes to a bird that was flying by his window. Right, he’d told Yoochun that he had a good memory when he brought up the childhood memory. He never brought up that memory after that day. It just didn’t feel right.

But Yoochun still had the grass ring preserved in a safe place, cherished.

“I’m…sorry,” Junsu heard himself say.

“Junsu, I was just kidding. You don’t have to feel guilty. I just…have a weird thing for remembering stuff like this. And because…I’m really thankful for the day we met…and all the days following it,” Yoochun was the one with a light blush on his cheeks now. “I just want to say that…thank you so much for constantly being by my side, helping me with so much. I’m very thankful to have you.”

“I’m thankful to be able to help you,” Junsu smiled.

“And…I have something else to say.”

Junsu was staring at the roses, but Yoochun’s tone made him look up. “Hmm?”

“Will you…do you…want to go out tonight?” Yoochun asked shyly, one hand tugging lightly on his right ear.

Junsu blinked, confused. “We go out for dinner almost every Friday night. You don’t need to ask. Oh, and I just remembered that my parents won‘t be coming with us tonight. They said something about being busy.”

But that was okay. It wasn’t like Junsu had never had dinner with Yoochun’s family before.

Chapter 33

Yoochun looked troubled. “I mean…’go out’.”

“Yoochun, is something wrong?” Junsu inquired, bringing a hand up to touch Yoochun’s forehead. No fever.

“I mean ‘go out’ as in ‘on a date,’ not ‘as friends.’”

Junsu felt like he’d been knocked over. Yoochun was asking him out on a date…and that would lead to…

“It’s okay. I understand. I don’t want to ruin our friendship either. I really cherish our friendship. We can stay friends. Please, stay friends with me?”

Junsu wanted to cry when he saw the fear in Yoochun’s eyes. What an idiot.

“Well, I’d rather be your boyfriend…” Junsu began. But he couldn’t finish because Yoochun had tackled him into an embrace.

Yoochun’s cheers and laughter were music to Junsu’s ears. He was happy. They were finally together…as in, ‘together’!

And yet Junsu couldn’t find the happiness that he expected himself to feel.

While hugging Yoochun close, Junsu’s eyes stared out into the clouds. Silently, he begged, ‘Jaejoong, what’s wrong with me? I don’t know what to do. Tell me what to do.’

♥♥

“It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s really okay.”

“But…”

“It’s really, really okay.”

Silence stretched. Junsu rested his head on a fist as his eyes followed the passing scenery. It was such a beautiful night, such a perfect date…or at least, it had been.

“Does my breath stink?” Yoochun suddenly cracked the silence.

Junsu was caught off guard by the question. He turned to look at the man who was driving the vehicle. “What?”

“I’m pretty sure I sprayed my mouth with a lot of peppermint spray beforehand and I have really good hygienic habits…”

“Yoochun, that’s not the reason…”

Yoochun turned the vehicle onto the side of the road and turned off the engine. He removed his seatbelt so that he could turn his body to face Junsu. “Then what is the reason? Why won’t you let me kiss you?”

Junsu lowered his head, trouble written all over his handsome face. “I…I thought you said ‘it’s really, really okay.’”

“It’s not. Repeating ‘it’s okay’ to you didn’t work and repeating it to myself is even less affective,” Yoochun sighed, unconsciously playing with his right ear.

“I’m sorry.”

Yoochun ran a hand through his soft locks. It messed up his hair and Junsu wanted to reach over to fix it for him. But he didn’t.

“It’s easier to lie to myself than to lie to you,” Yoochun murmured into the silence.

Junsu disagreed. It was difficult to lie to himself and to Yoochun, because lying to one was the same as lying to the other.

“Yoochun…”

“It’s been three months. People kiss after the second date,” Yoochun explained the concept to Junsu as if he was explaining a simple math problem. He hoped Junsu understood.

Junsu sighed, his eyes staring at the dangling Mashimaro doll that hung on the rearview mirror. “Yoochun, the truth is…”

“Forget it,” Yoochun cut him off. “If the truth is going to make me lose you then I’d rather not know. It’s fine. It’s okay. We just won’t kiss each other. There are other ways to express love…”

Junsu pulled Yoochun into a kiss, his hands on each of Yoochun’s soft cheeks.

They kissed, because it was a hell lot easier than telling the truth.

When they pulled away, Yoochun had a smile on his lips. He was happy to see Junsu smiling too. You can’t hide happiness.

♥♥

“Changmin finally cracked and confessed to Yunho. They’re together now. I played a tiny role in it, but…just a tiny role,” Junsu spoke to the gravestone. He turned his head to see if Yoochun was back from the restroom.

Yoochun wasn’t back so Junsu continued to talk.

“Jaejoong, what do I do? I’m so confused. The irony…the irony is…so wrong. I know I should be trying to protect our relationship, do whatever I can to make it last forever. But…at the same time, I’m not doing that. I feel like…I’m the one trying to protect our love, but at the same time, I’m the person who will destroy it. Am I making sense to you?”

Junsu sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Guilt gets heavier and heavier every single day. It’s possible to ignore it, bury it, push it away, but it will always come back to haunt you.

“I wouldn’t let him kiss me for the three months we were dating. It’s not because I don’t want him to kiss me. I do, I really do. I want to kiss him too. But…it feels wrong, like I don‘t deserve it. I feel like I’m the devil and I’m stealing a kiss from an angel. We could have broken up because I was refusing to kiss him.”

Junsu closed his eyes because the headache was really getting to him. He glanced around like a paranoid criminal again to make sure that Yoochun hadn’t returned.

“I can’t do this. I can’t look at him without feeling like I’m lying to him. I don’t want to have any lies between us, especially when he‘s so honest towards me. I feel like…I staged the whole thing and I’m afraid that the love isn’t real. What’s real anymore? Am I real? Why have I been acting the way I’ve acted in the past nine months? Am I acting that way because it’s who I really am? Or is it because it’s the role that I need to act out in order to make Yoochun fall in love with me? Who did Yoochun fall in love with? Are we really meant for each other like you said?”

Junsu sighed again and shivered a little. There was a sudden breeze.

“Jaejoong, you jerk. I know you were trying to get us together, that you want us to be happy, but look what you did! You made me lie to him! Did he fall in love with me because of the childhood memory? That would suck. I don’t want this! Every time I look at him, there’s that strange feeling that tells me…tells me that I don’t deserve this because I’m a big, fat liar!”

Junsu buried his face in his hands, frustrated.

“Why can’t I be the same selfish idiot from the past? Why did you have to teach me how to feel guilty? Life would be a hell lot easier if I didn’t know how to feel guilty!”

“What are you feeling guilty about?”

Junsu nearly jumped out of his skin. He turned to see Yoochun standing behind him, giving him a curious expression.

“What?” Junsu managed to find his voice. How much did Yoochun hear?

“What are you guilty about?” Yoochun repeated, eyes curious.

Junsu’s eyes shifted from the picture on the gravestone and then back to his boyfriend. He opened his mouth and knew that he was going to tell another lie, to tell Yoochun another lie.

God, if this lie didn’t kill him, the next one would certainly do worse.

So Junsu managed to find the courage to say, “Can I…not answer that?”

Yoochun blinked, confused. A small frown touched his brows and Junsu forced himself to wait patiently for the reaction.

Finally, Yoochun smiled lightly and nodded, “Okay.”

Junsu stood up and pulled Yoochun into an embrace. Yoochun returned the hug.

Junsu felt guilty for making obvious that he was keeping something from Yoochun. But this guilt beats the guilt of having to tell Yoochun another lie.

♥♥

“So when’s the wedding?”

“We’ve only been dating for four months,” Yoochun pointed out while Junsu tried to recover from choking on food.

“Junsu, are you okay?” Mrs. Park patted the young man’s back while handing him a glass of water.

“Thank you,” Junsu bowed politely as he gladly accepted the water.

“I hope you’ll be that eager to accept when I hand Yoochun over to you,” Mr. Park said.

Junsu choked on the water and Yoochun had to lecture, “Appa! Stop it!”

“He’s so cute,” Mrs. Park was running a soothing hand over Junsu’s back again, just like a loving mother. Junsu was thankful for her, he really was. He couldn’t wait for the day when he could finally call her ‘Umma,’ but…Junsu didn’t know if that day would come.

It could come…if Junsu would allow himself to let Yoochun walk into a marriage built from lies.

“Where are your parents, Junsu?” Mr. Park changed the subject with a handsome smile.

Junsu’s eyes shifted, wondering if he should tell the truth. He did, “They went to a business partner’s wedding.”

Everyone stared at Junsu while he had his head lowered, finding the food to be very amusing.

“Well, since we’re talking about weddings again…” Heebon clapped.

Yoochun grabbed a piece of bread and stuffed it into his baby sister’s mouth. His mother had cooked up Italian today and Yoochun had never been more thankful.

“If he chokes again, we’re going to leave,” Yoochun warned. Junsu almost wanted to laugh at how funny this situation was.

“Oh, sure, run away with your lover and abandon your family,” Heebon teased, pretending to look hurt.

“Good idea,” Yoochun retorted. Under the table, he was holding onto Junsu’s hand. Heebon rolled her eyes and scoffed while their parents continued to stare happily at the couple. Their eyes reflected happiness and trust when they looked at Junsu.

This didn’t help the Guilt that was still growing inside Junsu’s heart.

Chapter 34

“Don’t mind them. They were just teasing,” Yoochun felt the need to say.

“Yoochun, you don’t have to worry about that. I love them and I understand,” Junsu allayed.

“As much as you love me?” Yoochun grinned.

“Hmm?”

“Do you love them as much as you love me?” he clarified.

“Are you looking for another cheesy confession?” Junsu raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

“Always,” the older man laughed. Their connected hands swung like a pendulum between them.

“I love you,” Junsu smiled, his voice serious.

Yoochun’s grin widened and he easily laid a peck on the shorter man’s lips. “Me too.”

They continued to walk in circles around the park, hand in hand. The silence would have been comforting if there weren’t little monsters running around in Junsu’s heart.

What was Yoochun thinking?

One month ago, Junsu had been burdened by guilt and the fear of an unreal love. In the past month (after what happened at Jaejoong’s grave), Junsu began to carry another burden.

He knew Yoochun had a lot of questions. He knew Yoochun wanted to know why Junsu was always holding back, closing up. He knew Yoochun wanted to know, but would act like he didn’t because Yoochun feared the truth would hurt their relationship. He knew Yoochun was waiting patiently for Junsu to open up, being the perfect boyfriend that he already was.

How much longer?

Can Junsu just hope this guilt and fear would disappear? Why can’t he just forget about it, stop thinking about it, and enjoy the rest of his life with Yoochun?

Why?

Junsu stopped walking and Yoochun stopped as well. “Junsu?”

Junsu’s head was lowered. It was always so hard to look into Yoochun’s eyes without feeling…horrible.

Yoochun began to worry. He stood in front of Junsu and forced Junsu to raise his head, to meet his eyes.

Junsu didn’t know what Yoochun found in his eyes, but Junsu wasn’t sure what was there in the first place. What’s left to be found? Too much.

“Do you have something you want to ask me?” Junsu found the courage to offer.

Yoochun traced his boyfriend’s cheeks with his thumb, finding the reflection of the moonlight in Junsu’s eyes. Yet the beauty of the moonlight wouldn’t cover anything; Junsu no longer made an effort to mask what he was feeling.

Yoochun was struggling. He had so many questions, wanted so many answers. Which was the most important question?

He found it.

“Are we both truly in love with each other?”

Junsu blinked. Both? He knew he was in love with Yoochun, but what made Yoochun think that Junsu could answer that question on behalf of him.

“I’m truly in love with you,” Junsu answered, not expecting the spark of sadness in Yoochun’s eyes.

“Do you not trust that the love I have for you is true?” Yoochun whispered, as if he was afraid to ask.

Junsu felt his heart start to crack. “Yoochun…”

“How long is it going to take before we can both say that we’re both truly in love with each other; to speak on behalf of the other and know that it’s the truth?” Yoochun murmured. “When are you going to be confident that I’m in love with you? What makes you question my love? Please, don’t question my love for you.”

Junsu’s head lowered and he wanted to turn away. Did he doubt Yoochun’s love? Yes, and that was the problem. Junsu didn’t want Yoochun to be in love with Junsu because of those lies Junsu has told.

He raised his head again when Yoochun stopped touching him and took a step back. One step. Too far away.

“Yoochun…”

Yoochun was the one looking down now. He bitterly laughed, “I’m such a failure. I’ve spent all this time trying to figure out what was wrong with this relationship. It was me all along. I failed to give you the security, the trust. I’ve tried my best, but…I’m running in circles because I don’t know the root of why you would question my love for you.”

“Yoochun, it’s not…”

“I love you, I really do,” he spoke in a raw, painful voice. “I don’t know how else to make you believe that. But…if being with me is just going to keep you in doubt then…I don’t want to do this to you.”

Junsu felt his heart clench. Yoochun was breaking down. After all those weeks of confusion, of wondering, he had begun to put the blame on himself. But Yoochun wouldn’t think of blaming Junsu, wouldn’t think that their relationship was in a crisis because of Junsu.

“You shouldn’t have to force yourself to love me. I don’t want to hurt you…” Yoochun forced himself to say, wincing when he tugged too hard on his ear. Even this common gesture wasn’t calming his nerves.

“I’m the one hurting you,” Junsu interrupted. He took a step forward and it hurt that Yoochun took another step back.

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. Because hurting you is just as bad as hurting myself. I’m the one hurting you and myself,” Junsu released a heavy breath and ran a hand through his hair. “I…have something to tell you. If you’ll still love me afterward then…”

Then what? Would Yoochun still love him?

Junsu didn’t know. He persisted in grabbing Yoochun’s hand and leading the older man to the large water fountain in the middle of the park. They sat on the cement and the moonlight shined down on both, revealing everything from the dark.

Yoochun waited patiently. He’d been waiting for this long. What was a few more seconds? But there was still that fear in his stomach, fear of the truth.

“I…” Junsu tried to start. He had to do this. He had to. If he wanted any chance of a beautiful future with Yoochun, he had to. Or he might lose Yoochun forever.

“I love you,” Yoochun felt the need to say, just to give Junsu confidence. But Yoochun wasn‘t confident that Junsu believed his words. What did he do wrong?

Junsu looked into Yoochun’s eyes and almost wanted to cry. How can you tell when love is real? Is this what it looked like?

“I’m not who you think I am. I’m afraid you’ve fallen in love with the person that you think I am.”

“What?”

“I’m not the kid who weaved you that grass ring behind the Church.”

Yoochun blinked. He knew there was more. “And?”

“I fear that you’ve fallen in love with me because you thought I was that kid. I’m not. And…all those times that you thought we had so much in common, we actually don’t. The favorite food, favorite movie, favorite hobby; I knew beforehand that you liked those things so I pretended to like them too. I wanted to make you think that we have a lot in common so that…so that you would fall in love with me.”

“This means you don’t like horror flicks or ramen?”

Junsu looked down at his fidgeting hands. He hadn’t even gotten to the hard part yet. “Yes, I don‘t.”

“But you forced yourself to do all that?” Yoochun continued to ask in an unreadable voice. “What does this have to do with your insecurity?”

Junsu sighed and met Yoochun’s eyes again. “I’m not feeling insecure. I don’t doubt that you’d be a loyal companion who will give me all the security I need.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want any lies or secrets between us, but this whole time, I’ve been keeping a secret. It’s killing me…”

“Tell me.”

“If only it was that easy,” Junsu sighed. What if Yoochun didn’t believe him? Did Yoochun believe in ghosts? What if Yoochun thought he was insane?

“I promise, I won’t jump to conclusions. I’ll listen to everything you have to say.”

Junsu nodded. “The reason I knew all those things about you is because…Jaejoong told me. He helped me stage our relationship.”

Junsu held his breath. Yoochun’s brows furrowed a little and he wondered if he heard that right. “Wait, what? My ears are being weird.”

“No, they’re not. I said that Jaejoong helped me stage our relationship. He taught me how to make you fall in love with me faster and I hit every single target. That’s why…that’s why I’m afraid that the love you have for me…isn’t for the right reasons, for the real me. Am I making sense?”

“No, how can…you knew Jaejoong before his death?” Yoochun was confused. He and Jaejoong were like brothers. If Junsu was Jaejoong’s friend, he would have been Yoochun’s friend as well.

This was the hard part. Junsu took a breath for courage before saying, “I met Jaejoong…after his death.”

Yoochun blinked once. He blinked twice. Junsu looked down at their hands; at least Yoochun was still letting Junsu hold his hands.

“You mean you saw Jaejoong’s ghost? I mean, I don’t know how else that can be possible…” Yoochun murmured.

“Yes,” Junsu went ahead and explained everything to Yoochun.

Ten minutes later, they were sitting in silence, hands still connected. Junsu refused to let go and Yoochun didn’t make any attempts to pull away.

“I…I don’t know…” the older man stammered.

“It’s hard to believe…and pretty ridiculous, huh?” Junsu’s eyes shifted uncomfortably.

“Yes,” Yoochun replied, still shocked by all the information. “So Jaejoong died and created a dream of the future while you were in a coma…because he used his last wish to bring us together.”

“He said that you and I are meant to be together, lifetime after lifetime,” Junsu quickly added. He was relieved to see a small smile on Yoochun’s lips.

“This is…still weird,” Yoochun was still trying to organize all the information. It was all hard to believe, but he knew that overreacting (or not believing) will mean hurting Junsu’s feelings.

“I’m not insane, Yoochun. It really did happen. I’m not making it up. Please don’t think I’m crazy.”

Yoochun was curious, “Where is Jaejoong now? Do you still see him? Why can’t I see him?”

“He’s gone. I haven’t seen him in a very long time. I think he might have crossed over and reincarnated. I’m not sure, but I think I can see him because…I have his heart,” Junsu lowered his head to look at the certain area on his chest.

Chapter 35

End

Yoochun was staring at the certain area too. He whispered in a shaking voice, “He used his last wish on me.”

Junsu nodded. “Jaejoong is a great friend.”

Yoochun recalled some more of the stuff Junsu had told him. “He saved me from putting up with a brat? Were you really a brat? I can’t imagine…”

“It’s true,” Junsu confessed. “And…the kid who weaved you the ring…was Jaejoong.”

Yoochun looked down at their connected hands, seeing the finger that he’d once slipped the grass ring on. “Oh…I…kind of saw you in a different light after you told me about that childhood memory.”

“Is it the reason you fell in love with me? You were certainly more willing to open up to me after that day,” Junsu reluctantly recalled.

Yoochun wasn’t going to lie, “More or less, yes. I’m a hopeless romantic at heart so…I saw that childhood memory and our adulthood reunion as the beginning of a fairytale…”

But Yoochun knew that if Jaejoong had told him that Jaejoong was that kid from long ago, Yoochun still wouldn’t have truly fallen in love with Jaejoong. They were just meant to be friends.

“It’s not a fairytale…especially when there are secrets between two hearts,” Junsu said.

“Do you have any other secrets you’re keeping from me?”

Junsu thought about it. “No.”

Yoochun took a few moment of silence to think through everything. Putting all his trust in his heart (in his love for Junsu), he said, “Then it’s a fairytale now.”

Junsu stared at Yoochun and wanted to pull him into a hug. “You mean…”

“I understand what you were afraid of. I might have fallen in love with you because of the childhood memory, but right now, I’m in love with you because of who you are. You feel like you set up the whole thing and it’s just a staged relationship, but there are some things that you can’t pretend or act. You pretended to like what I like, but you didn’t pretend to enjoy it with me.”

Junsu blinked. It was true. He didn‘t like horror flicks or ramen, but because he was with Yoochun, Junsu truly enjoyed those times.

“So you don’t think I’m insane?”

“It’s really weird, but…no, I don’t think you’re insane. If you said that you saw Jaejoong’s ghost then…you saw Jaejoong’s ghost. From the four months we’ve been dating and the many more months that we’ve known each other, I really don’t think that you’re crazy.”

Junsu pulled Yoochun into a tight hug and never wanted to let go. “God! Yoochun, why are you such a perfect and understanding boyfriend? I should have just told you earlier and spare myself all this suffering!”

Yoochun chuckled as he ran a hand through Junsu’s smooth hair. “It’s your fault. All you had to do was talk to me.”

“I know now. But um…let’s keep this between us. I don’t think any other person would listen to me and NOT think that I’m crazy…or a big, fat liar.”

“You’re a horrible liar. You guilt too easily,” Yoochun teased.

“That’s a good thing…” Junsu started.

“For me,” Yoochun finished.

Junsu laughed and hugged his boyfriend even tighter. “I still feel like an idiot. I could have just talked to you sooner. Just…talked to you sooner!”

Yoochun laughed. “Well, you never know. If you’d told me when we first met then I would have thought you were crazy. But…at this point, we have such a thick foundation that I trust you to be telling me the truth.”

Junsu grinned. Yes, and this confession would just be another part of the foundation for their relationship, another red string to tie them tighter together.

“Hmm…now that we’ve got such a thick foundation, then how about starting to build that fairytale castle on top of the foundation?” Junsu hinted.

Yoochun pulled out of the hug to look at Junsu. “You mean…”

“A castle, a home, our home?”

Yoochun wasn’t sure how to react. For the past month, since he was certain that Junsu was hiding something from him, Yoochun had prepared himself. He had even prepared himself to listen to Junsu reveal that the beautiful angel was actually a serial killer, but…not this. He had the right mind-set to accept that his best friend had turned into a ghost and staged a whole dream for his current boyfriend to bring them together, that his current boyfriend had fallen in love with him in a dream (as well as in reality).

But Yoochun wasn’t prepared to react correctly to his current boyfriend’s request to become his…husband?

“Don’t think too much. I’m just inviting you to move in with me. People who are dating live together, you know?” Junsu clarified.

Yoochun felt stupid. “Oh…”

“Unless you want to get married,” Junsu craned his neck to sneak a peek at Yoochun’s lowered head; his hair was covering his pink face.

“No, no, it’s only been four months. Might be too soon. So…yeah, moving in together. That sounds good,” Yoochun stammered.

Junsu chuckled. “You’ll move in with me just like that? What if I rape you or something?”

“That would be interesting,” Yoochun laughed. Then he faked a dramatic sigh, “But I guess that would be my fault. I’m just too trusting.”

“Being too trusting is dangerous,” Junsu said with a smile. “But lucky for you, I’m not a good liar.”

Yoochun grinned. “Perfect. We’re perfect for each other.”

“But I don’t like horror flicks or ramen.”

“Still perfect for each other,” Yoochun nodded his head confidently.

“I don’t like your favorite color either. You look better in red than blue.”

Yoochun shrugged. He wasn’t going to change his favorite color for Junsu, but he still said, “Still perfect for each other. If we were exactly alike, it’d be a boring fairytale.”

Junsu laughed. “Perfect.”

He moved closer so that they sat in each other’s embraces under the moonlight. Junsu had his head on Yoochun’s shoulder and arms around the older man’s waist. A light breeze blew towards them, whistling a beautiful tune.

Yoochun thought of Jaejoong and could imagine his best friend‘s approving happiness. Junsu was perfect. He wasn‘t just no longer a brat, but he was even better. He wasn‘t selfish and took it as a serious task to not keep secrets from Yoochun, to never hurt Yoochun.

Junsu might never even tell Yoochun a white lie, but…that should be okay. Yoochun thought of Junsu truthfully telling him that he looked horrible in an outfit and that almost made Yoochun laugh. That’ll be okay too.

“The moon is beautiful tonight.”

“Uh-huh,” Junsu replied, but he wasn’t exactly paying attention. He was busy tracing a heart on Yoochun’s thin shirt, over his heart.

“That tickles.”

“I know.”

“That’s not how a real heart is shaped.”

“I know,” Junsu murmured. He was now writing the first Hangul character of his own name on the special area of Yoochun’s chest.

Yoochun smiled as Junsu began writing the second Hangul character. “We really owe Jaejoong.”

“I know,” Junsu smiled sweetly. “For everything, and especially for giving me his heart.”

“Yes, his heart,” Yoochun tightened his embrace, settling his chin on Junsu’s head.

“I have his heart. Who has your heart?” Junsu asked just for fun as he finished writing the third Hangul character on Yoochun’s heart.

“You can answer that,” Yoochun spoke with confidence.

Junsu laid a light kiss on Yoochun’s lips. “I do.”

♥♥

Thank you to each and every one of you who supported this story. Thank you for your feedbacks in helping me improve!

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Remember, 'HAPPY HAPPY!'

(This is so cheesy, I ought to think of something new to say. xD Lol)