Hey guys! Thank you so much to sweetsuga_bb_artist on Instagram for these amazing aesthetics! The one above is obvi Rose, check out the ones she made for the boys at the end of the chapter! 

Long time, no see, I know! But thank you so much for hanging on and being patient with me! 

Please read the author's note at the bottom. Hopefully it was answer some questions!

Sorry for any grammar and editing mistakes!

Please comment, vote, and follow!

Enjoy!

-&-

Chapter 40

       Today was... not a good day.

       There wasn't any particular reason why. Luce have finally started to relax about the 'me spending the night with Rex' thing, and even the boy himself had been more than perfect. Sometimes—sometimes I just had bad days.

       I didn't want to think that it had anything to do with Thanksgiving Break, which was only three days away, but the thought of being away from Rex—even for a few days—weighed heavily on my mind. I lived an entire life time without him, without anyone besides Jax, I should be able to handle being away from the grumpy, perfect, dinosaur. But it had been the only thing I worried about ever since Rex told me he was leaving.

       It was Wednesday morning, and Rex and I hadn't spent the night together in the past three days. I promised Luce I would stay home for the week days if she would let up on the weekends, and I was really starting to regret that decision.

       I couldn't sleep without him. At first, I thought it was just because I was obsessed and missed him, but then the dreams started again. They stayed away when he was beside me—or under me—but with him gone they had free reign in my head. With Thanksgiving right around the corner, and the lack of rest I had the past few days, I couldn't shut my mind down enough to sleep the night before. When my alarm clock finally went off at six that morning, I was wide awake.

       And not okay.

       "Hey, Princess."

       I glanced over at Trey, that low timber of his voice warm and inviting as he smiled. "Hey, Trey." That smile slowly faded, and so did the spark in his bright green eyes.

       "You alright there, Rose?" He leaned heavily against the locker next to mine, his tree-trunk-like arms crossing over that massive man/boy chest as his eyes narrowed in that worried frown he usually only gave Rex.

       "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Though the lie was a little harder to get out than usual. There was just something about Trey that screamed to trust him with anything. That he would try to help you through it, no matter what. I almost believed that too.

       He shrugged the shoulder that wasn't pressed against the metal cabinet door, those green eyes scanning my features before flickering out towards the crowd of students swarming the hall. "You just have that look on your face."

       "What look?" I asked softly as I hid the bottle of my medicine behind a book and closed the locker.

       I still hadn't taken any since Luce refilled my prescription all that time ago, but that didn't mean the urge to take it went away. Sometimes, especially on days like this, all I wanted to do was take one, or two, crawl up under my covers, and pretend the world didn't exist.

       I quit the medicine cold turkey before, so I knew I could handle the headaches that came with it, but I didn't have something to replace it then like I did now. I didn't have Rex, and back when I first started taking it, I hated everything except for Jax. Things were different now. I was different.

       Why couldn't my brain understand that?

       "Your 'I'm not okay' look."

       Trey really did pay too much attention to everything.

       "I'm okay, Trey. Promise. I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

       It was clear on his handsome face that he didn't believe me, but another good thing about that giant mountain was that he never pushed for an explanation. I appreciated that. "If you say so." He paused and those bright eyes flickered carefully over my face. "Rex is looking for you." Then something close to a smirk pulled at his lips and the tension I felt between us slowly faded away. "I think you hurt his feelings."

       "What?" The question came out as a panicked 'eep!' and I squeezed my binder tightly to my chest.

       I hurt Rex's feelings? I barely talked to him all day! If anything, I had been trying to avoid the gorgeous boy. I didn't want him to see what Trey had. That I wasn't okay. I didn't think I did anything to hurt his feelings! That was the last thing I ever wanted to do!

       By the time it took Trey to finish laughing I had already analyzed every single interaction I had with Rex that morning, trying to figure out what I had done wrong. Actually, we've only talked once since I woke up, and it was when I texted him that Luce was going to bring me to school. I didn't want him to see the purple bags under my eyes.

       "Mm," The mountain man/boy pushed away from the locker and threw that thick tree-like arm over my near-trembling shoulders and steered us down the hall. "He kept grumbling something about you not wanting him to get you. Seemed to get him all hurt and riled up."

       Heat flamed my cheeks as that chuckle of his shook through his chest, into his arm and across my shoulders. Rex was upset I had Luce take me to school? I didn't mean to upset him! If anything, I was trying to avoid worrying him.

       "Don't worry about it, Princess." Trey tugged gently on the ends of my hair with the hand that was flung across my shoulders. "It's just funny seeing him like this."

       I felt my lips pull into a frown and squeezed that binder even tighter. It was funny seeing Rex upset? We had very different ideas of humor. "I don't like making him mad." I mumbled down to the dirty tile of the school's hallway.

       "He's not mad, he's butt hurt. And he'll get over it the minute you blink those big ole' eyes of yours at him." Trey pulled away with a soft laugh, even though the light in his green eyes wasn't as bright as usual.

       "Why? What's wrong with my eyes?" We stopped just outside my third period class, Rex no doubt waiting in our usual spot in the back of the room. I was anxious to see him, I hadn't since school ended the day before, and I was practically going through a withdrawal. But at the same time, I wanted to turn run the other way and go hide in the bathroom.

       Trey smiled and gave that one shoulder shrug again. "Nothing is wrong with your eyes." The warning bell rang then and he let out a heavy sigh before burying his big hands into his jacket's pockets. "I got to get to class, but I'll see you guys at lunch." With one last nod and smile he turned and walked down the hall with the rest of the crowd.

       I watched his retreating back, and squeezed my arms even tighter around my binder. I tried to suck down the unease in my stomach, and the panic brewing in my chest for no apparent reason. Nothing good ever happened on bad days.

       Rex's beautiful dark eyes were trained out the window as I finally stepped into the classroom, those his hand was tapping repeatedly against the hard top of his desk. He didn't necessarily seem upset, no more than usual at least. I kept my eyes away from him as I approached our spot, his snapping to my face as I did.

       None of the other students really paid attention to us anymore. When we first started sitting together it was like we were Cirque Du Soleil. All eyes on us, even Mrs. Crone's gaze would travel to our section of the room more than often. I know teachers were supposed to be impartial, or whatever, but Rex's reputation made him more than scary in the school's eyes—including its staff. Now, thankfully, they barely spared us a few glances.

       I kept my gaze down as I slid into the seat beside him, my bag falling to the floor as I set my binder down. He shifted beside me, leaning closer until that arm of his could rest heavily against the back of my chair.

       "Hey you." His voice was low, soft, as it flowed between us. I couldn't help the smile that pulled across my face at the sound, and I felt that unease coiling in my stomach slightly fade away. Slightly.

       "Hi." I mumbled to the table as he leaned over and rubbed those ridiculously soft lips against the shell of my ear. Heat flamed the back of my neck and electric tingles shot down my spine, making me sit straighter in the desk's chair.

       "You planning on looking at me anytime soon?" He murmured into my ear, though it was more of a displeased grumble than anything. Even though it still made butterflies flutter in my stomach. I sucked in a shaky breath, tried to swallow down the tight grip of unwarranted panic in my throat and blinked over at him.

       Those chestnut eyes seemed to blaze behind his thick dark lashes, and the worried frown pulling on his lips made my heart clench. I couldn't help but smile at the perfect boy. "There." He smiled softly, though that concern didn't leave his gaze. "That wasn't so hard." Rex's free hand, the one that wasn't resting on the back of my chair, reached up to run softly along my jaw. His thumb teased the skin of my cheeks then dropped down to the corner of my lips.

       "I don't think I like this 'no week nights' thing." He grumbled softly, completely ignoring the students still filing into the class. We would have to pull away in a moment, but I enjoyed the close proximity more than anything. "I miss you." My heart fluttered at his words, and my eyes closed as his thumb swept over my bottom lip.

       "I miss you too."

       "Come home with me."

       I sighed and pulled away from that soft intoxicating touch, even though it only made my chest ache. "You know I promised Luce only on the weekends." Rex frowned and brought that hand to reach up and run raggedly through his dark hair.

       "She not letting me take you to fucking school anymore either?" His voice had taken on a hard tone and I fought back the flinch that want to rack my shoulders. This morning wasn't about Luce, it was about me not wanting him to see how awful I looked when I let panicked thoughts override my senses and forced the sleep away.

       "I was just running behind and didn't want to make you late."

       "You know I don't care about that."

       I didn't say anything in response and reached down to take my pen out of my bag. I tapped the end against the desk repeatedly, and leaned unconsciously away from the thick arm resting against the back of my chair. I didn't necessarily feel like I deserved to be close to him right then. I hurt his feelings, upset him, and couldn't control the panic in my chest. I didn't deserve to be next to him.

       I could feel Rex pulling away throughout class, like he could tell I didn't deserve him either. He shifted uncomfortably beside me at first, then dropped that arm away from my chair, then all but built and icy wall of avoidance between us as he turned away. I tried to ignore it at first. Tried to convince myself that he was just uncomfortable, but I knew he was upset. I hurt his feelings, and that fact didn't help the panic at all.

       The more he pulled away, the more I felt it built in my chest. I couldn't handle this today. I didn't have enough sleep to handle bad thoughts, to focus in class, to deal with the fact that Rex might know what I knew. That I was nothing.

       Class was barely half way through when I felt that tightening in my chest, felt the air become too hard to breathe, and too thin to hold. My grip was like iron on my pen, and uncomfortable heat surged up my spine and flamed the back of my neck. My mouth felt dry, my lips trembled as I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to force down the panic. It wasn't working.

       I hadn't realized I shot out of my seat and made a beeline for the classroom door until the teacher called out my name, but that didn't stop me. I didn't really care about getting in trouble with the school anymore. All they could do was call Luce, who would yell at me, and that would be it. I didn't care.

       I raced for the nearest bathroom, not carrying if the teacher was chasing me or calling the principal. I locked myself in the stall farthest from the door, crouched down on the toilet seat, and gripped tight fistful of my hair.

       I sucked in greedy breaths, trying to shove down the hyperventilating and panic as I shut my eyes tightly against the burning lights of the school's gross bathroom. I needed to leave. I couldn't be here. Not right now, not today. Not a bad day.

       I wasn't sure how long I sat there, sucking down stale air and trying to shove the panic away, but it worked. I didn't have an attack, at least, not a big one. When I was finally able to open my eyes again, I jerked back in surprise. There was no gross gray bathroom stall looming in front of me, but that beautiful blue lake Rex had taken me to what felt like so long ago.

       I gasped, and my eyes widened in complete shock as I scanned the area. What in the world...?

       "Rose?"

       My head snapped over and I blink in complete surprise at that dark chestnut gaze staring into the side of my face. Worry shown like a bright beacon in Rex's eyes and he all but ripped me into his chest. "Oh, thank God." He breathed heavily into my hair and squeezed those massive arms tightly around my waist. "I was so worried about you." He was holding me so hard all that air I had been desperately trying to reach nearly disappeared again.

       "What's going on?" I mumbled against his chest though my words sound muffled from how he pressed me into him.

       "I don't know." His arms loosened, but just barely. "I went after you when you left class, and tried to get you to calm down in the bathroom but you just—you just went blank and I-I was so worried. I didn't know what to do." His face dropped into the crook of my neck and his arms were hard as they held me to him. "So, I carried you to my car and brought you here."

       I had to suck down a shaky breath before letting my own arms wrap around his strong shoulders. I went... blank. That didn't happen a lot, not anymore at least. Usually it was just sheer awful panic. And that scared me. I thought I was still in the bathroom, I—I hadn't even realized he followed after me or that much time had passed. I couldn't control myself when my mind shut off like that, and sometimes bad things happened.

       I squeezed my arms tighter around him and tried not to cry. Dear God, what if I had done something during that time? What if I hurt someone? Hurt Rex? But he didn't seem hurt, if anything he seemed more freaked out about me blanking than anything else. Still, that wasn't something I wanted him to be a part of.

       "I'm so sorry, Roza. So, unbelievably sorry." His lips pressed against the skin of my neck, though I was a little too out of it to feel those electric flutters from his touch. Then he kissed my jaw, right below my ear, before pressing those lips into my hair.

       I felt worry slowly ease off my shoulders and held onto him desperately. "Why are you sorry?" I was the one who should be apologizing.

       "I shouldn't have gotten angry earlier. I haven't slept well the past few days and I really missed you and I just get so upset that your sister doesn't like me, but I know that's not an excuse. I snapped and upset you, and I'm so fucking sorry." I was surprised I hadn't been absorbed into his chest with how tightly those arms held me against him, which I loved. But that wasn't important right then.

       "Not your fault, T'." I mumbled against his shoulder and let my hands run reassuringly over the top of his strong back. If I got that upset that he pulled away from me in class, I didn't want to know what would happen when he left me for good. When he finally figured out that I didn't deserve him.

       "Yes, it is." He grumbled into my hair, but refused to let go. "I'm not going next week."

       "What?" I tried to pull away, but he made a weird noise in the back of his throat and held me tighter. "No, Rex, you have to go. This could be your future." Even though he still hasn't told me exactly what the job would be, I didn't want to take that opportunity away from him. I refused to be his ruin.

       "I don't want to leave you."

       "It's only for a few days." I didn't think I would be the one reassuring him, but as the words passed my lips, I felt my resolve build. "I'll be okay, and then we can spend the rest of break together."

       I was able to get his arms to loosen enough for me to pull away and smile at him, though the hard worry in his eyes didn't ease. "Trey and the others are going to be with you while I'm gone."

       I let out a small sigh and shook my head, happy that the panic had retreated almost completely. "You can't make them hang out with me."

       "It's not 'making them'."

       "We've already talked about this." I grumbled and played with the open zipper of his jacket. I wasn't going to force the rest of the Big Four to hang out with me while he was gone. I'm sure they had their own plans, and Jax's birthday was tomorrow anyways. Now that he had nothing holding him back, he would come see me. He promised.

       "Hm." Rex finally eased those arms until they were hanging loosely around my waist and I was able to pry myself away from his chest. "And we probably will again before I leave." That's when I realized how close we were sitting. I was in his lap, my arms wrapped loosely around his neck as his sat securely around my waist. I could feel heat staining my cheeks, and this time it was that stupid blush and not from the panic.

       Those dark eyes scanned my face, before his lips pulled into that small smile he saved just for me. "What's got you all red, tomato girl?" That traitorous blush deepened at his words and I had to drop my gaze to his chest.

       "Nothing." I mumbled, even though his small chuckle suggested he knew I was a big fat liar.

       He shifted underneath me, until my butt was on the sand beneath us and just my legs stayed on either side of his hips. His arms stayed wrapped around my waist, mine around his neck. I kept trying to get my dumb cheeks to stop blushing when that familiar soft feel of his lips pressing against mine registered in my brain.

       My eyes snapped to his, though our gazes only locked for a moment, before I fell into his kiss. My lids closed, my arms tightened around him and I tried not to sigh like a weirdo. Fireworks erupted where his lips pressed against mine, shot through my skin and traveled down to the butterflies in my stomach. It took all I had not to shoot off the ground and soar straight to the moon.

       "What do you want to do for the rest of the day?" Rex murmured against my lips when he pulled away a moment later, a moment too darn soon. I knew what I wanted to do, and it included not moving from this very spot and those lips pressing back against mine. Mind blanking completely forgotten.

       I shrugged and my breathing was kind of heavy from euphoria and excitement. His lips pulled into that tummy turning smirk that made my mind go all gooey and irrational. "You're already going to get in trouble for ditching, right?"

       "Uh huh." I nodded and prayed this was going where I wanted it to.

       He nudged his nose against mine, those lips just barely brushing over my own. "Come back to my place?" His voice was a low whisper, even though we were the only ones there. That heat flamed through my body and scorched every ounce of my skin.

       "Okie." 

-&-

Hope you guys enjoyed!

Thank you again to sweetsuga_bb_artist on Instagram for these beautiful aesthetics! You captured each one of their personalities so well you don't need names to tell who is who, and I love that more than you can imagine! 

Please read the note after her designs~

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Damn, I do love my boys!

-&-

       I'm going to try and write ahead for this story to keep posting chapters, but it really depends on the craziness that is my life. I leave for basic training in September and it's my goal to try and finish this book before then! And no, I don't know how many more chapters there will be! As many as it takes to finish the story!

       Thank you so much for sticking with me while I wrote Tempting Darkness, and I know a lot of your are mad that I took a break from this story to do so. However, it was literally impossible for me to try and focus on HFR when TD was the only thing running through me head. And I tried to write for His Flower, I really did, but I couldn't get in the right head space. BUT I'm back, and can hopefully bust on some more chapters soon! 

       Speaking of Tempting Darkness it's COMPLETED! Please go check it out if you like steamy romances, fantasy novels, and main characters with bad mouths :P If you're over 17 that is haha!

       Also! A fellow Wattpad author Gotham_xo, has created a website for her stories and to interview other authors! She wants me to be her first interviewee! Yippee! If you have questions for me that you want her to ask, so you can then see my answer, go to her profile, click the link to her website, and ask your questions in the 'Contact me' section of the site. I hope to see you guys there! She is accepting questions until tomorrow so make sure to get your questions in!

       Last but not least, I created a book on my profile to help upcoming writers! Or any writers really who wants some advice! Everything on there or will be on there I've experienced and been through myself. I don't pretend to be a great writer, and I never will, but a lot of people ask me for advice so I hope that helps!        

       I missed you guys! See you next update!