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I'm sorry for editing and grammar mistakes!

P.s. This chapter is long as hell.

-&-

Chapter 30

Rex and I were sitting on the steps of Trey's porch as Mrs. Maguire fussed over the badly beaten Denton, and fumed venomously at Trey all at the same time. Turns out it was his mom who had called the cops and told them she thought something was wrong. She gave them the street name Lainy had gave me, and apparently they knew what she was talking about right away.

I was grateful really. I had no idea what would have happened if they didn't show up and threw everything into chaos. Trey would probably never have been able to knock out Santiago and we would honestly probably still be stuck in that awful place.

I glanced over at a silent Rex who had his hands clasped together between his knees with his head bent low. His side was pressed firmly against mine and I let that comfort me as he sat quietly thinking. I didn't know what was going through his head. Last time I had ran after him he was furious, but now he just seemed... tired.

Then again, last time I didn't go crazy and hold a gun up to his dad's head.

"What are you thinking, Roza?" He asked a moment later as Mrs. Maguire's shouts finally began to calm down.

There was a moment of silence between us as I ran my hand through my hair and stared at the steps below us.

"Why aren't you... are you mad at me?" I asked softly as I rested my head against the railing. He let out a heavy sigh before he laid his head on his fist and turned to face me.

"I'm fucking furious, but at you? No. Just confused... and worried." I dropped my eyes to my lap as his other hand came up and gently brushed my arm.

"It's just that you were mad last time I ran after you..."

"Well that I am mad at."

His tone was dark and the grip he had on my arm tightened, but when I peeked up at him the odd ball was giving me a small smile. "But I saved you." I muttered softly as I lifted the side of my lips in a small smile and reached over to poke him in his side. His eyes lit up. He grabbed onto my finger as I began to pull away, and brought my hand up to his lips instead.

"That you did Roza." He murmured before he pressed his lips to the back of my hand, lips that had been on mine not five hours earlier. "But remember what I said? It's my job to protect you, and what you did tonight was very stupid." He scolded me like I was a child, and even though it was better than him yelling I still frowned.

"He's was going to kill you, Rex. You were going to leave me, and you can't expect-" I felt tears of frustration breech my eyes as I struggled to get the words out. Rex's dark chestnut orbs snapped over to me in worry as I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "You can't expect me to just sit around and do nothing, when I know something is wrong. You were crying Rex. You never cry, ever. That's my job. And then you... then you just disappeared."

"Roza..."

"I knew something bad was going to happen. I knew you were saying goodbye. I knew somehow you were planning on leaving me, and I can't-" His arm wrapped tightly around my shoulder and pulled me into his chest as my words choked on a sob.

"Sh, baby, sh. I'm right here. I'm not leaving you." He pressed small kisses into my hair as he held me to his chest tightly.

"Y-you were going to." I croaked into his jacket as he rocked me, just like he always did when I was upset. He let out a heavy sigh before his fingers ran gently through my hair and cradled my head to his chest.

"I was going to try everything in my power not to get killed, Rose."

I curled my fingers tightly into his jacket and pulled my head away from his chest to look up into his dark eyes. "What was that Rex? You just got so mad in school for no reason, and then showed up at my house like it was the end of the world. Who were those people? Why did they want to kill you so badly?" Just the thought of Rex being killed caused nausea to flood my stomach was again. His face fell and his dark eyes stared down at me sadly as his hand came up to cup my face.

"You know I've been getting calls from Anthony lately." He started softly and I nodded as he wrapped his arms back around me and brought me back into his chest. "At first he kept telling me he was in a rough patch and needed my help, and for a while I told him to go fuck himself." Even though his words were harsh, his touch was soft, like usual, and I tried not to moan as his fingers began to massage my scalp.

"After a while he called telling me he could get me a job. One that paid extremely well, and like a fucking idiot I went to go talk to him about it. Remember that day when you were in New Port?" I pushed slowly off his chest again at his question, and although he frowned at me he didn't try to pull me back down.

"Yeah, you said you had something to do that day."

He nodded and reached up to stroke my face as my brow scrunched together. "I was talking to my father in New Haven, about the job." My eyes widened as realization dawned over me. The reason he got to the station so fast, why he was so mad that I was in New Port... it made sense now. Then another realization hit me. He was at New Haven the same time I was. He could have saw me any time. He could have saw Gerald and Jax, and-

"I was so happy to get out of there, away from him, but you weren't answering my texts or my calls and I just go so worried..." He shook his head before his hand carefully reached up and pulled me back into his chest, I didn't resist. "And then I found out you were in New Port, that's not even a five minute walk from New Haven and I just... I got upset. I didn't want that fucker knowing about you. You just got out of the hospital, and I didn't want you getting hurt again."

"It's okay Rex. I know." I mumbled into his chest before I rubbed his shirt reassuringly. Guilt quickly made its way into my heart, and I knew that I would have to tell. Keeping secrets from each other has only proven to cause trouble.

I let out a heavy sigh before I pulled away from him and dropped my gaze to my lap, twiddling my thumbs. "Rex, about that day. I... I was actually in New Haven." I paused long enough to see if his demeanor would change at all, but when all I received was silence I began again.

"I-I was visiting Jax. His foster house was there and I hadn't seen him in so long. I know it was stupid, and I know I should have told you, but I figured you would be mad so I... didn't." I waited quietly to see what his reaction would be, to see how big the explosion would be, but when all I felt was his gentle hand rubbing my back, confusion quickly took place of worry.

"It's okay Roza, I know."

My head snapped up so fast I was surprised I didn't get whiplash, but the small smile he sent me let me know it was okay. "You... you know?"

"Yeah, Jax told me."

That little traitor.

"He told you? When did he tell you?" My frown quickly disappeared and my eyes widened in surprise when a small blush lit his cheeks. He dropped his gaze away from mine and his blush grew.

"I um... I might have confronted him after the whole you 'leaving to go to his apartment' incident, and I might have, maybe, threatened him."

"Rex."

"I know, I know. I was just worried. I've never seen him before in my life and you two just seemed so close... I wanted to make sure he wouldn't hurt you."

"Rex, I told you he's into boys."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He grumbled before he dropped his gaze once again, that small blush still alight on his face.

"So he told you after you threatened him?" I asked softly as I rubbed soothingly against his chest.

"The fucking punk laughed after I threatened him, called me lover boy to my fucking face, and then basically told me the same story you told me. He just happened to add the New haven part."

Good ole' Jax.

"And you weren't... mad?"

"Rosalyn, I was fucking furious. But, I told you when I picked you up that day that I would wait for you to tell me. So that's what I did. And even though you waited longer than I would have liked to tell me, I kept my word."

God, I really did love him.

There was silence between us for a minute before I reached up and kissed his cheek. "Thank you Rex." I murmured against his skin before I dropped my head back to his chest.

"But anyways, do you want to know the rest or not?" I nodded my head quickly and curled back into him like I belonged there. "Okay then stop distracting me," He chuckled before he squished me tighter and kissed the top of my head.

"Like I said before, me being the fucking idiot I am, took the job my dad had offered. It was supposed to be simple. Drive a truck to the set location, pick up the money, bring it back, and then I would get paid." His grip on me tightened before he let out a sigh into my hair.

"I didn't know that I was supposed to be delivering illegal weapons, and the boss in charge of everything just happened to have angry problems worse than mine."

"That Santiago guy?" I questioned softly, but when his fingers stilled in my hair I wish I hadn't. He pulled my head back just enough to stare down into my eyes with a dark glint lighting his. "I might have been listening while he was talking to you..." I admitted quietly and the color of his eyes darkened. His hard face didn't soften either, but he pulled me back to him nonetheless.

"Yes, that Santiago guy. The ignorant bitch thought that I stole his fucking money because the guy I gave it to more than likely spent it on meth, and Santiago started hunting me down himself to get it."

I waited a minute before I slowly lifted my head and blinked up at him. "That day when you wanted me to go stay at your apartment, but you were late to get me... You said it was about your father." I murmured softly as his head dropped down to my neck.

"It was. I went to go talk to him about the problem, and Santiago was with him." He nodded like he was agreeing with me as I gently traced my fingers along his jaw.

"That's why you were so mad."

"Yeah, Roza. I've told you before it's never you I'm mad at." He murmured into my ear and I smiled as I snuggled further into his chest. "What did I say about distracting me?" He teased as his hot breath fanned across my skin.

"Sorry." I giggled as I felt his lips smile against my neck.

"Anyway," He let out a heavy sigh before he curled his fingers back into my hair. "They haven't left me alone since then, and well when he called me today... it was the last straw." I tilted my head up and pressed my face into his neck as his arms tightened around me.

"Why?" I murmured softly against his skin, curiosity and worry getting the best of me.

He was silent for a moment, and his arms tightened before he responded quietly. "They... they found out about you, Rose. About how close you were to me... about how much you mean to me. I'm not one hundred percent positive how, but I'm pretty sure they had men watching me, and well... I'm always with you."

I lifted my head once again and stared up into his sad, dark chestnut eyes. Eyes that looked like he had seen a thousand different things in a thousand different ways. He blinked and then dropped his gaze from mine, his arms wrapping tighter around me.

"They threatened you Rose. They threatened to take you from me, and I just... I just snapped. I had to end it, tonight. I wouldn't let them hurt you. I dragged myself into this mess because I was a stupid fuck, and I will never forgive myself for dragging you in with me."

"Rex, that's not true. Don't think like that-"

The look he shot me had my words dying on my lips. It was a hard icy glare that told me to stop while I was at it and I frowned as his arms moved from around me until his hands could hold onto my biceps tightly. "I was going to end their bullshit tonight, Rosalyn. I wouldn't let them hurt you. I couldn't, and if that meant letting them fucking kill me then I was going to let them."

The tears were back, along with the panic, and his beautiful face became blurry as I tried to blink the water away. "Rex I-"

"You were right baby flower, I did go to your house to say goodbye. Maybe it was selfish, maybe I should have let you hate me to make it easier for you... but I couldn't. I couldn't leave without seeing you, without knowing you weren't upset because of me." His thumbs rubbed soothing circles into my arms as I blinked back the water that clouded my eyes.

Now seemed like the best time to bring up the kiss, the goodbye kiss. I curled my fingers tightly into his shirt before I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "You... you kissed me." My statement hung in the air awkwardly around us for a solid five seconds before he slowly nodded. I couldn't bring myself to look up into his chestnut eyes and I had to gulp before continuing. "Why?" My voice was a soft whisper as his hands stilled on my arms.

"I was going off to probably die, Rose. I didn't think I would ever see you again." His words were so simple, so calmly spoken that it made my heart ache in my chest.

"Oh."

So it was just a goodbye kiss, a kiss that he thought he would never have to worry about again. He didn't like-like me, like I had foolishly began to hope. It wasn't panic that rose in my chest this time, but pain, and a sadness so strong I felt my whole being deflate. I love you Rex, why can't you see that? Because he didn't want to. He didn't want to have that guilt weighing on his heart, knowing that I loved him when he only cared for me.

But I shouldn't be complaining right? After all, a little Rex is better than no Rex.

"Roza." A pair of strong fingers gripped onto my chin and slowly raised my face to look up at his. When my eyes locked onto his, the dark orbs melted into those deep pools of chestnut that I loved so much. "That doesn't mean I regret it." My eyes widened and my heart seemed to stop at his words. I watched in what seemed like a trance ss the pad of his thumb gently ran over my bottom lip. I felt my breath catch in my throat.

"It doesn't mean that I don't want to kiss you again."

Wha- What...?

His fingers left my lips and his hand gently reached up until he was cupping my face. My heart was beating so fast I'm surprised he couldn't hear it, and as his face inched closer to mine, I could swear it stopped in anticipation. He leaned in close until his lips were a mere centimeter from my own, his eyes locked onto the small space between us until his dark orbs shot up and locked with mine.

The air seemed to pause around us in a silent lull that seemed to wrap around the entire neighborhood. Then he leaned forward just a fraction of a centimeter, just enough so his soft lips could brush teasingly against my own.

"Because I really want to."

Our mouths were so close that I breathed in his words when a soft gasp escaped my lips. My fingers curled into his jacket as his minty breath fanned into my mouth. Close your eyes this time stupid head. The thought flew across my mind out of nowhere, but I instantly obeyed it and closed my eyes as Rex began to tilt his head.

"This is ridiculous Trey! We have to take him to the hospital!"

The front door banging open and Mrs. Maguire's voice shouting at the giant figure of her son as he stepped onto the porch caused Rex and I to jump apart like we were struck by lightning. My face flared up in embarrassment and Rex shot a glare at a smirking Trey before he repositioned his hold on me and pulled me back into his chest.

"Later baby." He murmured into my ear before he pressed a quick kiss into my hair.

My heart fluttered.

There was going to be a later...

"If we take him to the hospital they're going to ask questions, and I'm sure the cops have alerted the ER's to keep an eye out for any stragglers." Trey groaned, and the tone he held led to the impression that that wasn't the first time he told his mom that.

"What if he has a concussion?!"

Trey rolled his eyes as he sat down on the porches swing and propped his arm up on the side. "They didn't hit his thick skull hard enough for that." He snorted, and I frowned. Rex's chest rumbled with a chuckle.

"Well what will I tell your father when he comes home and see's the bruised teenager passed out of our couch?!" Mrs. Maguire stood in the middle of the doorway with her hands planted firmly on her hips and still wearing her pajamas from earlier.

"Just say Rex beat the crap out of him again." I snapped my head up at his words and glared at Rex who was staring down at me with a dark twinkle in his eyes.

"Rex."

"He was asking for it, Roza." I tried to glare through the small smile that breeched my lips at the pet name, but I failed miserably.

"Rex, Rose! I didn't know you two were still out here! It's freezing! Come inside. I want you two to stay the night. Come on, get up and get in." I smiled as Trey's mom gently pushed Rex on his back until he groaned and pulled both of us to our feet.

I liked Trey's mom, I really did. She was so sweet, and... motherly. I never knew my mom, but when I closed my eyes and imagined her I pictured someone just like Mrs. Maguire.

"Its okay Mrs. Maguire, I live just down the street. I can just go home-"

"Nonsense dear! I would feel so much better with all of you under my roof tonight." I gave her a small smile before Rex ushered us through the front door.

He held me tightly to his chest as we walked into the living room. The sight of Denton lying passed out on the couch with Lainy tending to a cut on his head made my breath catch in my throat. I tried to pull away from Rex and walk over to them, but his grip tightened and he made a noise close to a growl before he pulled me back into his chest.

"Is he... okay?" I asked softly once Lainy noticed us standing there watching them. Brett was already passed out on the chair besides them, his head resting uncomfortably in his hand.

"I don't know." She admitted as her eyes flitted from us to Denton. "He should be okay for now. Trey wants to wait a couple of days before we take him to the ER."

"I agree." Rex nodded from behind me and I shot him a glare that he just raised an eyebrow at.

"Of course you would." She grumbled under her breath, but didn't get to say anything else since Trey's mom came stomping back into the house with Trey grabbed by the ear.

"Ouch mom!" He growled as she threw him back into the room. I tried not to giggle at the sight of the mountain that was Trey rubbing his ear and grumbling under his breath.

"Lainy, I'll handle that. Why don't you take Rose up to your room and you two can go get some sleep?" Mrs. Maguire's voice turned soft again, but I only frowned as Lainy nodded and started to stand.

I-I don't think I could leave Rex. Not right now. Not when I almost lost him. Not when I needed him to sleep. "I uh-" I started to stammer nervously as my fingers curled into his shirt behind me.

"Sh Roza." His voice suddenly whispered in my ear so Trey's mom wouldn't hear. "I'll go with you and we can sleep in Trey's room, she won't notice."

"I heard that Rex, and I will not being allowing you two to sleep in the same room." As much as I liked Mrs. Maguire my heart shattered at her words. First Luce and now her? Did no one realize all we did in bed together was sleep?

Like only sleep?

Rex frowned but tightened his hold on me as Trey's mom shot us a glare and Lainy stood awkwardly between us. I let out a tired sigh and rubbed my palm into my eyes before slowly easing my way out of Rex's arms.

"It's okay T', really. One night won't kill me." I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but the sad look in his eyes broke my heart.

"But it might kill me." I frowned at that and shook my head as I rubbed my fists into my eyes.

"Please stop saying things like that. Especially right now after everything that's happened." He must have heard the desperate plea in my voice, or seen the dark ache in my eyes because his instantly softened and he pulled me into a hug.

"Okay baby, I'm sorry. I just don't like sleeping without you, but you're right. It's just one night." He placed his hands on either side of my neck and tilted my head up until he could place a soft kiss on my forehead. My face heated up at the memory of the almost kissed we shared on the porch, and it only worsened when I saw everyone who was awake watching our little scene of affection.

"Come on Rose, I'll show you to my room." Lainy gave me a small smile once I was able to pull myself away from Rex, and I gave her a small nod before smiling at Trey and Mrs. Maguire.

"Thank you for letting me stay the night, Mrs. Maguire." I murmured as Rex gripped my hand tight one more time before slowly letting go.

"Of course dear, and stop calling me that. It's Maggie." She gave me a warm smile which I returned before I started following the beautiful blonde up the stairs. Rex's eyes didn't leave me the entire time.

"So are you and Rex like a thing?" Lainy asked casually a few minutes later after I had changed into a pair of pajamas she let me borrow. My hands froze on the side of the bed I was pulling the covers down on and my eyes snapped to hers.

"I-I have no idea what we are."

It was the truth. I had no idea what Rex and I were. We were far past the classification "friend", but I wouldn't say we were a "thing" either, or even that we were "together". We just... were. But honestly, that question eats me alive every day. Rex has kissed me once already, admitted he liked it, and wanted to kiss me again. He even actually tried to! He didn't seem remorseful, or like he regretted it at all! He even said there will be a later.

Whatever that means...

"Hm, well, you two act like it." She murmured sleepily as she crawled under the covers. I quickly climbed in after her.

"Do we really?" I asked softly a moment later as she reached up to turn the lamp off.

"Yeah really. I've never seen him so touchy with anyone... or happy. I don't think I've ever seen him happy unless he's talking about you." My heart jumped into my throat at her words and I could feel my stomach twist with butterflies as she turned over and pulled the covers up to her chin.

"He talks about me?" My voice was no louder than a whisper, but I knew she could hear me through the silent room.

"All the time, it's actually kind of annoying, but in a cute way I guess. Not that I think you're annoying or anything! I mean, I just met you, but yeah..." I laughed and rolled over onto my side so my back was facing hers, a happy smile plastered onto my face.

"It's okay, I don't blame you."

She let out a quiet giggle and then fell silent. We were quiet for a few minutes, are breathing being the only thing heard in the room besides the fan. I had actually thought she had fallen asleep until her soft voice flitted throughout the room.

"Goodnight Rose."

"Goodnight Lainy."

Maybe, just maybe, I had actually made my first friend that was a girl.

I had actually thought I wouldn't be able to sleep that night, but as happy thoughts of Rex talking about me and being happy, about him wanting and trying to kiss me, flitted through my mind sleep took me quickly.

-&-

Denton was awake the next day, and he was loving the attention both Maggie, and Lainy, were giving him. "Hey Buttercup." He winked at me as I walked into the living room wearing a pair of Lainy's clothes she had let me borrow.

"Careful Denton, or Rex is going to give you a black eye to match the one you already have." Brett chuckled from the seat next to him, and despite his tired eyes he seemed genuinely happy that his little brother was awake.

The younger Dimajio rolled his own pair of blue eyes before his good one winked at me again. "I had a dream about you Buttercup!" He suddenly announced as Lainy gave him a new ice pack for the giant knot on his head.

"Oh yeah?" I asked with a laugh as I sat down on the small sofa next to a smirking Trey. Rex was still sleeping, or at least he was when I checked on him in Trey's room before coming down stairs. I was happy he was sleeping, he needed it.

"Yeah! It was pretty confusing, but I think you like dragged me to some car and threw water on my face or something." He chuckled, but the harsh noise quickly turned into a cough.

I frowned.

"That actually happened you fucking moron." My head snapped up at the sound of Rex's sleeping voice as he entered the living room in his clothes from the night before. I smiled as he let out a tired yawn and rubbed his eyes. I had told him all about how I dragged Denton to my jeep the night before, and how I got him into the back seat on the ride over to Trey's house. He had actually even laughed during the whole story.

He had told me why Denton was hurt so badly to. Apparently, the goof ball couldn't keep his mouth shut and kept mouthing off to Santiago, which the illegal gun selling boss guy didn't like at all.

Denton frowned as his one good bright eye flickered over to me with a puppy dog pout in it. "Well how was I supposed know that?" He grumbled, but Rex just rolled his eyes and ignored him. Once his dark chestnut orbs flickered across the room and landed on me, my whole world stopped spinning.

"You ready to go Roza?" He held his hand out to me slowly, and even though his words were a question I could see that he wanted to talk to me about something.

I nodded and gave Trey a small smile as I began to stand. "Do you two want breakfast before you go? I could whip up something real fast?" Maggie began to stand from the chair she had placed besides the couch, but I quickly shook my head as I grabbed onto Rex's outstretched hand.

"No, it's okay." He answered for us as he pulled me close and tucked me into his side. He's so warm... "We'll just eat something on the way."

I raised my eyebrow at him as he shot me a quick small. "On the way?"

"Yes, to my place. I figured you wouldn't want to go back to yours just yet." My insides warmed at his words and I gave him a small smile as I curled into him side.

"Okay you two, be safe."

"We will." Rex and I smiled in thanks at Maggie before he picked my clothes up from the day before and led me out of the house.

"You need to talk to me about something." I announced the minute the door closed behind us. His eyes snapped to mine and they sparked in laughter as his hand tightened around mine.

"Do I now?"

I frowned at that and scrunched my forehead in confusion. "Don't you?"

"Hm..." He murmured as he took his car keys out of his pocket and clicked the door open. He had dropped my dad's jeep and keys off at my house the night before, and I let out a sigh of relief when I saw it sitting perfectly in my driveway. "Maybe it's you that I want to tell me something." He held the door open for me as I stared up at him with a raised eyebrow.

"And what exactly do you want me to tell you?"

His eyes sparked wickedly, and his strong hand let go of mine to reach up and rub gently across my cheek. He leaned closer, his mouth very near to mine, and my breath caught in my throat as he pressed a small kiss to my cheek. Right on the corner of my lips.

"Get in the car." He murmured softly against my skin before he pulled back with a sneaky smile laced on his face. My cheeks flared up with heat and I quickly climbed into the waiting vehicle to hide my blush.

I swear he loved teasing me.

"Okay Rex, what do you want to know?" I asked the minute he had closed the door behind him and started the car. He shot me a sideways glance and slipped his hand into mine as we backed out of the driveway.

"Let's wait till we get some food and go home. I'm starving."

I cast him a curious glance as he started guiding us out of the neighborhood. "Why? I can just tell you now." I frowned as his small smile slowly faded away.

"I just... I want to wait to get back to the apartment first. Okay?" He brought my hand up and kissed the back of it softly. My curious gaze turned into a frown, but I nodded anyways and the air around us settled into a comfortable silence. I didn't understand why he wouldn't just ask me what he wanted to know now.

We stayed silent until he pulled up to a small donut shop just down the street from his apartment. It was a cute little building with a giant donut statue like thing resting on top. The words "Donut's Galore" resting across it in purple and pink.

"This place is cute." I gave Rex a small smile as his hand held onto mine and he led us into the little shop. He smiled down at me and nodded before walking us towards the counter.

"Yeah, it is. Get whatever you want baby. I know you're probably hungry." I beamed up at him as he stared down at me with a small smile. I never really noticed it before, but I guess Lainy was right. Sometimes we do act like a 'thing'.

I picked out a glazed donut and two pigs in a blanket, which Rex got to, and he paid for us before ushering me over to a little table in the back. As soon as we sat down I was biting into the donut like it would disappear if I didn't.

Oh my God... This donut was amazing.

"Rex, this is delicious." I moaned around the yummy goodness and my insides turned with butterflies as he shot me a wink.

A sexy wink.

Stupid teasing boy.

"I knew you would like it, Roza."

We ate quietly after that, even though every time I looked up, Rex's eyes were on me. I would blush and drop my gaze to my food every time. "You ready?" He asked softly ten minutes later as I finished the last pig in a blanket. I nodded at him and smiled as he offered me his hand and lead me from the little shop.

It wasn't until we pulled into the apartment complex's parking lot and my eyes landed on Jax's little black car that guilt suddenly swamped my chest. I groaned and dropped my head into my hands. Oh god, I never told him what I was going to do last night.

After I hung up on him when Rex showed up at my house I completely forgot to call him back. What if last night went down bad? What if we never made it out of there? I never would have seen Jax again, and he would be crushed knowing he wasn't there to help.

"What's wrong Roza?" Rex's hand gently lifted my chin and cupped my cheek as his dark eyes stared over at me in worry.

"I-I... I uh, never told Jax..." My voice trailed off as his face softened. "What if last night went bad Rex and-" His dark eyes turned into a glare and he placed his thumb over my lips to stop me from speaking.

"Don't think about 'what ifs' Rose. Were here now, we are fine, and I'm sure that idiot friend of yours will understand."

My heart melted into a puddle of goo at our feet as his thumb stroked across my cheek and he leaned in to kiss my forehead. "Come on baby, I'm ready to lay down in my own bed." I nodded as his hand dropped from my cheek and unbuckled my seat belt.

We walked hand in hand across the parking lot and up the stairs till we reached his hall. A feeling of warmth and safety washed over me as soon as he unlocked the door and let me into the apartment. A feeling of home. I really did love this place.

Rex's mood, however, changed as soon as he closed and locked the door. The happy, smiling Rex was gone and instead a somber look crossed his face as he stepped into the living room. I frowned. "Do you want to take a shower, Roza?" He asked softly once he hung his keys up and shucked his jacket off.

My good mood fell at his sudden change in behavior, but nodded my head anyways. I had left some clothes here just in case I ever randomly spent the night, or needed to get away from my house for a few days, so I grabbed some underwear, a pair of pajama shorts, and one of Rex's t-shirts that he let me sleep in before I walked into the bathroom.

The shower lasted longer than I was planning on, but the hot water felt so good and allowed me to just forget all the troubles plaguing my mind. When I had finally finished wringing the water from my hair and combing it out I opened the door and walked back into his room.

My feet stumbled to a halt when I saw Rex's shirtless form sitting slouched down on his bed in a pair of basketball shorts. His hands were gripped tightly in his hair and his head was bent between his knees. Almost as if he was trying to cast out thoughts from his head...

I walked slowly over to him and sat down at his side. My frown deepened when I lifted my hand to touch his shoulder and he flinched. "Rex... what's wrong." I asked softly as I let my hands fall uselessly in my lap. I wasn't sure if he flinched because he wasn't expecting me to touch him, or because he didn't want me to, but I wasn't going to take the chance of upsetting him by running my hands all over his back.

He let out a heavy sigh and let go of the death grip he had on his hair before he raised his head. His dark chestnut eyes were hard as he stared at the wall in front of us, his hands clasped together between his knees.

"I tried not to get upset Rose, I really did, but I can't keep up the happy bull shit act anymore." My frown deepened as he shook his head and dropped his gaze back to the floor.

"What are you talking about T'?" I asked quietly as the muscles in his arms tensed.

"You... You just..." He let out a heavy sigh and ran his hand roughly through his hair before he grunted. "What you did last night was fucking stupid. You could have gotten hurt." He finally growled through clenched teeth, and this time it was my turn to sigh. So it was about last night. I just knew something was up when he tried to blow off the subject on Trey's porch. There was no way he wouldn't have been upset that I went after him.

"Rex, I already told you. You can't expect me to just sit around at home when you're in trouble, especially when I can do something to help you-"

"That's exactly what I expect you to do Rosalyn. If I just show up at your house, in the middle of the fucking night, crying my damn eyes out, I expect you not to follow me when I leave."

Tears of frustration quickly swelled up in my eyes as his tone turned hard and his eyes turned icy. I shot him a glare before I stood on my feet and turned to face him. I needed to do something, or else I was going to start bawling like a baby. "How can you honestly expect that?! How can you expect me to just sit there, after you were crying, after you kissed me, and then just run off! I was terrified Rex! I knew you were fixing to do something bad, and I knew you were leaving me and I just-" I didn't realize I was crying until Rex's hand shot out and gripped onto my wrist to stop me from the pacing I hadn't known I even started.

I wiped at my cheeks forcefully as he gently pulled me between his legs and brought his hands up to my face. I dropped mine to his wrists and gripped them tightly as his hard eyes softened into that chestnut I loved. "Roza, I am nothing without you. I can't... I can't function without you, and all I want to do is keep you safe. I know showing up at your house like I did wasn't the best idea, but you can't just risk yourself like that baby." My frown deepened as he pulled my forehead down to his, but the tears streaming from my eyes finally stopped.

I'm such a freaking cry baby.

"How do you think I feel Rex? I can't sleep without you, I couldn't eat those two days you were gone, and you stop the panic. If you left... if you died..."

"Sh, Roza, sh. It's okay. Let's not think about that anymore." He soothed softly when he saw the tears start to build up again. He pulled me down onto his lap and cradled my head to his neck as he wrapped his arms around me. "I'm here now, so are you, that's all that matters. I'll scold you more later." He kissed the top of my head before his arms wrapped tighter around me like a safety blanket.

There he goes again with that 'later'...

I couldn't help the small smile that breeched my lips at his words and I let him pick me up and place me under the covers before he climbed in after me. "But now that you can't escape," He grumbled as he pulled the blankets tight around us and wrapped his arms even tighter around me. "I want to ask you what I mentioned earlier." I nodded as he tucked my head under his chin and ran his warm hands soothingly over my back.

"Last night, up in that room, what happened Rose?"

I froze as the memory hit me like a bomb. Anthony, the gun, Rex, me knocking his father unconscious. All of it flashed across my mind's eye in an instant, and my breath caught in my throat.

"What... What do you mean?" I knew what he he meant, but I needed to find an excuse to ease my way out of it. He already saw the darkness hidden deep inside me. I don't think I could handle it if he knew why it was there. I was too terrified of what he would do.

He pulled my head away from the bare skin of his chest just enough to stare down at me with soft eyes as his hand came up and gently rubbed across my cheek. "What happened to you last night? You weren't panicking at first, you weren't shaking. And there wasn't that usual beautiful light in your eyes, baby. They looked..." His dark orbs glanced away from mine as he searched for a word good enough to describe the darkness he saw.

"Dead?" I whispered so softly I'm surprised he heard it, but he did. His eyes snapped back to mine and the hand that was resting on my cheek traveled into my hair.

"No Rose, not dead. Just dark." I dropped my eyes to his chest as he pulled me closer once again. "And when you held that gun... it was like you had held a gun before. Like you knew how to use one." I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how I was going to drag myself out of this one, but I knew Rex could tell I was trying.

"Rose, remember how we promised each other no more secrets?" I nodded as his lips pressed onto the top of my head. "You know almost every single one of mine, and I would tell you the others if you asked. It's your turn to open up to me baby."

My hands were shaking as I held them in fists between us, and his strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me into the safety of his chest. He was right, completely right. I had no right to hide anything from him, but he would run if he knew everything. If he knew how truly broken I am.

"I'm scared." I murmured into his skin as he continued to press small kisses into my hair.

"Why?" His voice was a soft caress as he whispered in my ear and rubbed reassuring circles into my lower back.

I pulled back from him and rubbed at the dried tears on my face as I gathered my thoughts. I had to tell him. I had to. He deserved the truth, he didn't deserve me keeping secrets from him. But he was going to run. He was going to leave me.

"I don't want..." My words trailed off as my breath got caught in my throat. His fingers massaged into my scalp and I let his calming touch soothe me as a confused look crossed his face.

"Don't want what, Roza?"

I let out a deep breath, pressed my palms flat against his defined chest, and closed my eyes before answering. "I don't want you to see me differently Rex. I don't want you to leave me..." The last part was just a quiet whisper as it passed my lips, but he still heard and a frown replaced his look of confusion.

"I've told you before Rose, nothing you could have ever done or said would make me think badly of you. And I've told you a thousand fucking times that I'm not leaving you. So get that crazy ass notion out of your head." He cupped my chin and pulled my head down to kiss my forehead before he let me go. I didn't believe him, not completely, but I nodded anyway and curled into his warmth. I was going to tell him. I had to.

I pulled backed just enough so my front wasn't completely plastered against his and I took one more calming breath before I opened my eyes to stare at his bare chest. "When I was twelve, Jax and I lived together in this foster home near Portland." Just the thought of that place made me cringe, and with how Rex's hold tightened around me I could tell he noticed.

"Go on, beautiful." He encourage softly. My heart fluttered at his words and I closed eyes before continuing.

"There was only one foster parent, a guy. And he liked to get a little too... touchy with some of the girls."

Rex's body stiffened above me the minute the words passed my lips, just like I knew he would. And the dark rumbling coming from his chest was not laughter. "Did he hurt you?" His voice was hoarse as he croaked the words out, and his arms tightened around me as the question hung hauntingly in the air.

I let out a small smile and reached my hand up to run along his tightly clenched jaw. "No, not me. Jax was always there to stop him when he tried." Rex's body instantly relaxed and he let out a long breath of air before his large arms cradled me to his chest like a body pillow.

"One day though, it got bad." I continued softly as his fingers started running through my hair. "A girl got hurt badly, but he didn't get in trouble... no one believed her. Not the cops, not the system, even when the hospital said she was hurt. They just all played it off that she had an abusive boyfriend or something." His fingers tightened in my hair as I took a deep breath and gulped.

"Jax gave me a gun the next day. It was a small one, one that could easily fit into my jacket pocket. I had no idea how he got it, and he wouldn't tell me. All he said was to keep it on me when he wasn't around. He taught me how to aim and shoot, and I never really thought much about it until..."

"Until what?" His voice was soft as my words trailed off, but I could hear the dark growl hidden in his tone.

"Until one day Jax had stayed after school for football tryouts. That boy was always crazy good at sports." I laughed at the thought, but slowly shook my head as my eyes dropped back down to his chest.

"The guy, the foster parent," My breath caught in my throat as my hands curled into fists against Rex's skin. "He saw an opportunity, and he tried to take it. He never knew about the gun."

"Roza..." He tried to curl me into his chest like the baby I was, tried to comfort me, but I had to get the rest of it out before I completely shut down.

"They said it was self-defense, Jax and the other foster kids stood up as witnesses. I didn't get in any trouble." I gulped as the words finally passed my lips, as the story I had hid so well finally came out.

Rex was quiet for a couple of minutes, but his arms didn't release me like I thought they would, and he didn't back away like I expected him to. I held my hands to my chest firmly as he laid quietly next me. "Did you..." His voice trailed off when he finally did speak, but I didn't need him to finish talking to know what he wanted to ask.

"No, not physically. He was in a coma during the trial, and when they shipped me off to another foster home they declared him brain dead."

My heart was pulsating in my chest so hard it actually hurt, and my jaw was clenched so tight in nerves that I could feel my teeth begin to ache. I hated the images flashing through my head. The images of blood pooling from the body on the ground, of the gun shaking haggardly in my hand, of Jax running into the house when he had heard the bang. He had torn me away from the body and pressed my head into his chest so I wouldn't have had to see.

See what I had done.

I wasn't expecting Rex to pull me back into his chest and kiss the top of my head, just like he always did when I was upset. And I definitely was not expecting his next words. "See Roza? I told you you were stronger than you let everyone believe."

My heart stopped beating at his words and I tried to shove down the swell of emotion the clogged my throat as his thick arm wrapped tighter around me and he pressed his lips to my temple. He wasn't running, he wasn't backing away. He was holding me tightly to him like he always did and reassuring me.

"It's no wonder you have panic attacks, baby flower. Anyone would with what you've been through."

That's not even the half of it.

I would tell him about them, about the room, eventually, but not now. Now after everything we've been through the past couple of hours. "Can we stop talking about this now? Please?" I mumbled against his skin as his hands ran soothingly down my back.

"Of course baby." He murmured softly as I wrapped my arm around his waist and rubbed my face into his chest. He wasn't running from me, wasn't pushing me away. He called me strong, called me baby, and now he was cradling me the way I loved.

"Hey Rose?"

"Hm?" I hummed as his hand pulled my head gently away from his chest and tilted it till I was looking up at him. My eyes widened at the devious spark in his, at the sneaky smirk slowly dancing across his face. He lowered his face till our foreheads were touching, and his hand ran along my jaw until he could wrap his fingers tightly in my hair.

"It's later."

I didn't even get a chance to process his words before his lips pressed firmly against mine.

And this time I closed my eyes.    

-&-

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