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-&-

 Chapter 19

        "Shh!" I whisper-hissed as the window to my room slammed open with a 'BANG!' Rex shot me an apologetic smile before sliding into my room with a Panda Express bag in his hand.

        "Sorry Roza." He whispered softly before setting the bag down and closing the window to my room, stopping the freezing November air from reaching me.

        I shot him a worried smile before glancing at my door. "It's okay T', Tate's still staking out the house. He's dead set on keeping you as far away from me as possible." I mumbled as Rex picked up the bag once again and sat across from me on my bed.

         He snorted. "That prick is going to learn sooner or later to back off... He's the one your family should be worrying about." I didn't say anything as he pulled out the two bowls of chow mein I loved so much. The doctor told me I should only be eating "healthy" food until my body settles down again, but Rex just scoffed at his words and sent me a wink. He really didn't like that guy.

         "I don't understand why you say that all the time." I finally mumbled after a brief silence surrounded us. "Tate's never done anything in the past year and a half that I've known him to make me frightened of him."

         "He hasn't done anything yet Rose, it's what he has done before that worries me. I don't want you around some one like him, and it keeps me from sleeping at night knowing that he's fucking living here." My heart jumped at the fact that he was that worried about me, but at the same time I was just so confused.

        He sighed a moment later and handed me my beloved noodles. "I'm sorry baby flower, don't worry about it. If he hasn't done anything yet whose to say he will?" My eyes went wide at his words, but I could tell he was lying by the way his fist sat clenched on his knee and his jaw was locked tightly.

         "You don't have to lie Rex. I know you still hate him." I sighed and scooped up the noddles with my chopsticks.

         "Damn right I still fucking hate him." He grumbled under his breath as he stuck his fork angrily into his bowl. "I'm still letting the bastard get away with living here after he punched you Roza, but now he thinks he can put your house on "lock-down" to keep me out? I don't fucking think so." I sighed and watched him stab his food like he was picturing Tate's face instead.

         "I still don't know why you two hate each other so much." I mumbled around a mouthful of noddles.

         "It's a long story."

         "That's what he keeps saying." I pouted like a four year old until he looked up at me and rolled his beautiful chestnut eyes before letting out a heavy sigh.

         "I'm not going to go into depth about it, but we lived together for a little while before I realized he's not the golden boy he's always pretending to be." I scooted closer to him and widened my eyes like a little kid waiting for a bed time story. He chuckled and shook his head but cracked a small smile as his thumb reached up and swiped a piece of noddle off my chin. I blushed in embarrassment and dropped my gaze to the bed as his eyes lit up in amusement.

         "We have the same dad, but neither of our mom's ever married him, and I'm sure you know like the rest of the school that I was a foster child for half of my life." I shrugged as his beautifully dark eyes stared into the side of my head.

         I knew he was a foster kid, he's right actually, the whole new school. That's why they never bothered to ask him about his attitude or behavior or why he destroyed that store last year. They all just passed it off as his horrible childhood finally effecting him. I understood why they would think that too. I knew how bad some of those homes were.

         "His mom actually took me in a few months before my eighteenth birthday when I was able to leave the system, and I learned a lot about my half-brother than I never wanted to." He stopped after that and went back to eating his fast food, but I didn't push him. I was surprised he was even opening up this much.

         I had know idea where he lived now or if he lived on his own or anything really and the thought suddenly frightened me. What if he didn't have anywhere to go and he really lived with Trey? I had no idea...

         "Rex? Do you... do you live with Trey?" I asked softly. I was unsure of how he would handle the question and I didn't want him to get mad at me for asking... but he didn't. In fact, he let out a bark of laughter.

         "No Roza, I don't. I have my own apartment up near West Side. That's why I do the fighting matches. It pays more than an actual job and I get to live on my own comfortably." I small weight lifted off my chest at his words and I was able to breathe easier at his words.

         At least he didn't have to camp out at Trey's. He had somewhere to go, somewhere to call his own... and suddenly I wanted to be apart of it. "Can I see it one day? Your apartment?" I asked quietly and blinked up at him as he stared at me with a half smile.

         "Sure, baby flower, if you really want to." I smiled and leaned across our food to kiss his cheek.

         "Of course I do T'" He shook his head but couldn't hide his smile as he scooped more food into his mouth. The Tate situation forgotten... for the moment.

         A few minutes later Rex was throwing our trash away as I clicked on the TV and turned to my beloved Netflix. "Do you wanna watch your Merlin show?" Rex asked as I scooted over so he could lay down with me.

         "Last time we watched that our day didn't end so well." I mumbled as he kicked his shoes off and climbed under the covers. He laid back against the pillows with a heavy sigh and held his arm out to me as I curled up against him.

         "That was my fault, I was being an ass hole. I promise I'll enjoy it this time." He chuckled as I rested my head against his chest.

         "We don't have to watch it. I finished the show at the hospital the other day and now I'm all depressed." I grumbled and pouted my bottom lip out as he grabbed the remote and started looking through the movies. He let out a small smile and let his other hand rub down my back while his eyes stayed locked on the TV screen.

         They ended up keeping me in the hospital for two extra days just to make sure my weird panic freak out didn't effect any brain activity, and I was crazy bored the whole time. Trey and the boys stayed in the waiting room the whole time I was out, but the day after I woke up they went back to school. Not that I could blame them.

         Rex tried to stay the whole time, but my dad refused. He said I was the only one with a real reason to miss school and if Rex didn't want my father to forcibly remove him from my room then he should go to school and come see me after. Rex had finally agreed, but only because my father was, well for lack of a better word, huge, and not in the fat way.

         Although my dad was like a giant teddy bear to me, he was the size of both Trey and Rex combined and I think that's why half of his company is so afraid of him.

         Anyway, Rex had texted me all day long, came back after school, stayed the night, and repeated the whole thing all over again the next day. I also got a doctor's note excusing me from school for the rest of week and Rex had come over every night for the past two that I have been back.

         I knew I shouldn't get used to him coming over every single night, but it was hard not too. I was going to miss him when he stopped stopping by in the middle of the night with take out food and his cuddly warm personality out for me to see.

         "What's running through that cute little head of your's Roza?" He murmured after a while of watching The Avenger's that I hadn't even realized he put on.

         "Nothing really, I'm just thinking." I yawned and snuggled further into his chest as his arms wrapped around my waist.

         "About what?" He murmured as I rubbed my face against his shirt. I shrugged and blinked sleepily at the TV. He chuckled. "Go to sleep, sleepy head." He whispered softly as my eyes started to close.

        "Rex?" I mumbled through the grogginess clouding my brain.

         "Hm?"

         "I don't want you to leave." I mumbled against his shirt and his arms tightened around me.

         "Then I won't, baby flower, don't worry." He reassured me but I wasn't convinced.

         "Will you be here when I wake up?" I rubbed my fist into my eyes and cuddled the blanket tighter around us as his fingers ran through my hair.

         "I'll try to be, but I'll have to go home and change. Besides, your dad can't find me in here, and even though I don't care about that ass hole, I don't want Tate to start anything around you."

         "Hmm. That's a good point." I sighed and rubbed my face into his shirt once again. He's right, he's so smart... and warm... and soft... I'm so sleepy...

         His dark chuckle was enough to make butterflies erupt in my stomach and as one hand wrapped in my hair to twirl in it's long locks, his other gently rubbed up and down my back as my eyes closed heavily.

         "I'll be here tomorrow Roza, I promise." He whispered quietly and through the haze of my foggy mind I could have swore I felt him place soft kisses across the top of my head. This, I swear, was heaven.

 -&-

         "I really don't think you should be hanging around him." Tate grumbled angrily two days later as I shoved my binder into my backpack and threw it over my shoulder.

         "And I really think you need to chill Tate. What happened was an accident. I hadn't been taking my meds and an attack was bound to happen. Besides, I forgave you for hurting me, the least you can do is forgive him." I chasted as he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, an angry pout set in stone on his face.

         He sighed and shook his head before running his fingers roughly through his hair. "I know Rosie, you're right. I just didn't like you two hanging out from the start..." I bounced over to him before standing on my tiptoes and kissing his cheek.

         "I know, but I like him Tate, so you're just going to have to deal with it." I patted his head like he was a child before hopping towards the front door. I didn't even bother telling him I wasn't really on my way to hang out with Rex.

         Something flashed in his eyes at my words but he huffed and nodded his head as I twisted the door knob. "You'll be back before dinner right?" He asked grumpily as he walked over to the door and held it open while I skipped onto the porch.

         "Of course! See you then!" I shouted over my shoulder and smiled as he shook his head one more time before closing the front door.

         I let out a heavy sigh I didn't know I was holding. The truth was, I wasn't going to hang out with Rex and the others. They were all busy, and Rex said he had some things to handle. I had a bad feeling those "things" were more fighting matches, but when I asked him he just sent me a glare and said if I followed him again "shit" was going to go down... his words, not mine.

         But, then again, I'm happy I had today to myself. There was someone I needed to see, and I couldn't do it with Rex or Tate, or anyone really. I had to visit the part of my life I left behind me a long time ago. I needed to check up on him. I needed to make sure he was okay.

 -&-

         Two public buses and a taxi drive later I stepped out into the slums New Haven, Maryland. It was not a good part of the city to be in at night, and yet it was the safest place I could remember from my childhood, but I still tried to avoid it as much as possible.

         Honestly, it was the last place I wanted to be in, but despite my unease I had to see him. The few people I passed on the trash covered streets stared at me oddly and a few nodded in recognition. I gave them a small smile in return, but the all knew to keep to themselves. It was a code the fostered lived by.

         I found the beautiful boy leaning against the brick wall of an abandoned building in the middle of narrow alley way, his bright blonde hair and electrifying blue eyes stood in stark contrast against the dark's of his clothes. And despite the immediate happiness that filled my stomach at the sight of him, the nasty cigarette hanging from his lips was enough to make me want to puke.

         There were three other kids standing around him, all laughing and high off their rockers when I walked up next to him. The smell of pot and their obnoxious voices hid me from his senses and caused an angry scowl to fall over my face.

         "What are you doing?" The words slipped from my lips harsher than I would have usually asked, but this was different, he was different. The laughter immediately stopped and all four heads turned to stare at me. I stared at the bright blue eyes staring back at me in confusion and slight anger for a brief moment before recognition swept through his beautiful orbs like a lightning bolt.

         "Rosalyn-"

         "What is that?" I sneered at the nasty thing hanging from his lips. His eyes flashed before he used two fingers to lift the cigarette from his mouth.

         "It's not what-"

         "Who the fuck are you?" One of the grubby boys sneered at me. He couldn't have been older than sixteen, but I could tell he was a foster kid just by looking at him. He had that look, they all did, even Rex did when he was in the system.

         "Chill Cody, that's Rosalyn. She's my bae." Despite the glare I was sending his way he was still able to smirk and blow an air kiss at me. "I'll catch up with you guys in a little bit. I need to talk to my girl." He pushed past them without a second look back and they all slowly wandered off, but not before sending me an angry glare.

         The buff, blonde, blue-eyed, idiot came to a stop barely a foot away from me and stared down at me with a small pout. "I've missed you Rosie, and you don't wanna give me a hug?" He whined softly as the hand that wasn't holding his cigarette reached up to cup my cheek. I took a step back.

         "You promised me you stopped that, Jax." I grumbled with distaste, my eyes locked with the cancer bringing death trap in his hands.

         His eyes flickered from me to the cigarette and back again before he let out a defeated sigh and lowered his hand. "I did, and I swear on my life this was the first time I have smoked one since you left."

         "Sure."

         "I'm serious Rosalyn." He grumbled as the cigarette dropped from his hand and he smashed his boot over it once it fell to the floor. "Figures you would show up the day I decided I needed one." His voice was soft, like he didn't want me to hear him.

         I clenched my teeth together and stared up at him angrily as he stared down at me with sad eyes. "I swear to god Rose, I barely even smoked it, see? I even put it out..." He gestured towards the crushed cigarette lying unused on the ground.

         I stared at it a moment longer before looking back up at his sad blue eyes. "You're not getting high again though, right?" I don't know what he saw in my gaze, but whatever it was was enough to make his bad boy persona crumble.

         "Of course not Rosie, I swear. I haven't been getting drunk either. I'm cleaning up, just like you wanted." I let out a heavy sigh before finally giving into the overbearing urge in my chest to hug him as I threw myself into his arms.

         "I missed you Jax." I mumbled against his chest as his arms wrapped around my back and pinned me against him.

         "I've missed you too my Rosie, but you know I'm right here. Whenever you need me, I'll always be here." I nodded because I knew it was true, and yet we both know that I couldn't come here often. Not if I wanted to avoid them...

         Jax's hand reached up and petted my hair as I pushed down the tears and clung to him for dear life. The lingering smell of smoke reached my nose from his shirt but I ignored it as I buried my face into his chest.

         "Oh Rosalyn, you finally got out... why the hell are you back here?" He mumbled after a moment of just standing in silence and hugging me.

         "I needed to see you. I wanted to talk." I sighed when I pulled my face away from his chest, but stayed close enough to still be wrapped in his arms.

        "Shoot girly, I'm all ears." His smile was infectious and as soon as he flashed me those pearly whites I was smiling too. I wanted to tell him everything, about Tate, Rex, deciding to stop taking my meds, the hospital incident, everything, but honestly I didn't come here to burden him with my troubles. I wanted to check up on him.

         "Tell me about you first. I've been gone so long Jax, what's happened?" His beautiful bright eyes grew dark at the question but he smiled and cupped my cheek anyways.

         "You're out Rose, I don't want to bother you with this shit again. Foster life is different than family life... and I'm happy your out, I'm not going to say anything to even have you think about this life again, even if that means me walking away." His smile fell as I shook my head and wrapped my arms tighter around his waist.

         "I've been gone so long already, Jax. Don't walk away." I pleaded into his old leather jacket, the one his first foster parent ever gave him. He sighed and rubbed my back soothingly as I leaned into him.

         "It's hell Rose, that's all you need to know, but I'll be out in a few weeks and we'll be able to see each other more often." He pulled me back gently and tucked my hair behind my ear as I blinked up at him.

        Yeah, Tate was my current best friend, but Jax had been my everything for years. He was the one who was there for me when my panic attacks first came, he was the one who chased off my insomnia and held me when nightmares woke me up in the middle of the night, always. For years it was like that. Where ever they moved me Jax was only a day or two behind. I don't know how he did it, but he was able to keep us together until my dad found me, and that's all I cared about.

         Yet he's still stuck here, and his case is worse than mine. He's been in this position his whole life with no one to comfort him whenever he had a nightmare or someone tried to hurt him. Until I came along he was all alone, and now that I'm gone he's all alone again.

         I felt the tears start to gather in my eyes and I buried my face in his shirt before he could see them, but he still knew. Jax always knew. "Shh, Rose, why are you crying?" He murmured into my hair as I clung to his jacket.

         "I-I don't want you here, Jax." I cried softly as he patted my hair gently and pulled me to the side of the alleyway so nosy teenagers looking for a place to get high couldn't see us.

         "I know Rosie, I know, but you have to stop thinking like that. Three more weeks and I'm out baby." He pulled my face away from his shirt and wiped the tears off my cheeks with a soft smile on his. I smiled back as his hands dropped to my hips.

         "Where will you go?" I asked softly as my fingers curled into fists in his shirt.

         "Somewhere sunny." He smiled instantly and brushed his fingers across my cheek. "I'm sick and tired of this cold ass weather. I'm going to go somewhere where the ocean is so clear you can see straight to the bottom and the sand is so warm it hugs your feet-" That's the one good thing about Jax, he always dreamed big. I was happy just standing there and listening to him talk on and on about his beach, until a voice I never wanted to hear in my life again ringed through the narrow street.

         "Yo boy!"

         Jax instantly stiffened in front of me, his hand that hand been brushing my cheek gently when stiff as a board against my skin, and his eyes hardened into two slits of ice. I, on the other hand, was trembling. That was the voice of a man I had never hoped to encounter again in a million years, not since dad found me and brought me home.

         I was terrified.

         Jax's still form suddenly snapped into action and he cradled me in his arms before pulling me behind the rusty and beaten dumpster in front of us. He let go of me and grabbed my face in his hands, his cold blue eyes starting into my wide ones.

         My breath was starting to come out in sharp and painful stabs and all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed with Rex as my pillow and know he would protect me from world... but Rex wasn't here, Jax was, and he was just as good at saving me.

         "Stay here Rosie, and no matter what happens, no matter what you hear, you do not come from behind here until he's gone... do you understand?" His grip was firm on my face and his voice was hard, but his thumbs were gentle as they rubbed soothingly under my eyes.

         I nodded as his cold icy blue eyes searched mine before he let go of my face and started to stand. "No wait Jax!" I pulled him back down roughly as foot steps started to walk up the ally.

         "Don't go out there Jax, just stay here with me. He doesn't have to know we're here, he'll never find-" His eyes softened and he placed his hand gently over my mouth until I stopped rambling and my breathing calmed. I didn't even realize I was crying until he started wiping my cheeks once again.

         "Come on you fucking punk! I know your in there!" The yellow bellied beast yelled as Jax wiped my cheek one more time.

         "I love you Rosie, you know that. Now stay here. Do not come out until we leave." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead before standing up and slipping from behind the dumpster.

         I wanted to call after him, to drag him back and hold onto him forever, but that wasn't possible. This was still his life, even if it wasn't mine. I squished as far back as the vile smelling over sized trash can would allow me and peered between the small crack that was left between the wall and the dumpster.

         "What the fuck are you doing here?" Jax hissed at the tall, fat, beer belly, balding, bad facial hair looking, old creep as he walked up to him. He looked like he had just stepped out of a modeling magazine while the freak he was talking to looked like the slime ball that he was.

         "I could ask you the same question, boy. Where's my damn money? I expected it two fucking hours ago." Jax dug his fists into his pockets to keep them from knocking that fat creep on his butt. I wish he would though...

         "It's already at the house. Joe said he would give it to you-"

         "You gave it to Joe! You know that fucking moron isn't going to give it to me!" Gerald raised his fist and for a moment I feared he was going to take a swing at Jax, but CPS would be on his butt faster than his recliner chair.

         Jax didn't even flinch as Gerald raised his hand, he just stood there and stared at the foster parent with cold and calculating eyes. "You shouldn't be here, Gerald." His voice was a deep rumble and it sent shivers of fear down my own spine, and I knew Jax would never hurt me, even accidentally.

         "Go get my fucking money, boy, and I swear if that fucker Joe spent it already you're in a world of fucking trouble. God, you followed orders so much better when that little bitch was still here." Gerald hissed as he pointed towards the main street.

         I gulped as panic and fear surged into my chest in full force. It was a bad idea coming back here. I should have found a way to reach Jax some other way. I didn't know Gerald would be here. I didn't know he would still hold me over Jax. I didn't know-

         "Don't you fucking dare talk about her like that." Jax's voice had dropped twenty degrees and the look he was giving Gerald could have skinned leather. "As a matter of fact, don't talk about her at all." His voice was a dark growl and the hands he had fisted in his pockets were now on full display for Gerald to see. Jax was a fighter, no doubt about that, and Gerald knew better than to touch him.

         Jax would kick his butt without a care in the world if it wasn't for the fact that all the other foster houses were full. Gerald was the only place he could go without having to move three hours over. He stayed because of me. I always knew he did, but I hate that he has to live with that.

         Gerald didn't say anything else as Jax stomped past him, his eyes set dead ahead and his fists shoved back into his pockets. He didn't look back at me, but I knew that was only to keep me safe even though it still hurt, and as I watched Gerald follow him out of the ally I let the pent up breath I had been holding out.

         So much for a relaxing day.

-&-

I hope you guys enjoyed!

There you go guys :D If ya'll want a pic of what Jax kind of looks like leave a comment below!! If I get enough I'll post one in the next chapter!!