< -- four -- >

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For the remainder of the school day, my head was nowhere close to paying attention to any lesson. It wasn't as if I was a student that slacked off. I usually paid attention but today . . . today wasn't that day and I was lucky that none of my teachers called on me.

Neema Marshall was . . . she was something beautiful.

Going over her facial expressions in my head I tried again to remember where I've seen her before. It was obvious that I've been in my own world these past few years to let a beauty like her walk in these halls without ever trying to get her number.

Shit her number. I never asked for her number not that it looked like she would just hand it over. She was already giving me a hard time being of no help to remember who she was. Luckily I had a friend like Ethan to help me find out her name and grade.

Hearing the bell ring for last period my teacher called out the homework before anyone left. The class groaned at the assignment making Mrs. Launder laugh. Tucking the black pen behind my ear I exited the class heading for my locker when I heard someone call my name.

Turning around Cody from the baseball team sidestepped a few students calling my name again even though I hadn't moved a step from in front of the classroom door. "Lars! Hold on a sec!"

Looking to my left I wondered if Neema was already at her locker. I knew for a fact that Ethan was. He liked to be the first one out of class and out of the building if possible. He says that if he's quick enough Griffin won't have time to bully him.

"Lars." Cody huffed his freckled cheeks red from running.

"Where are you coming from?"

"Coach's office. He wants to talk to you about playing next year."

"I'm not." I started to walk away when I felt a hand on my arm pausing me.

"Come on Lars. You're the best pitcher we have and you've been playing all three years. Why not finish your senior year out?"

"Because I hate the sport and I only played because of my brother!" Snatching from his grip I moved through the crowd.

I didn't want to play baseball senior year. Hell, I didn't want to play this past season or last year but my parents wouldn't let me say no regardless of my arm. Senior year I was putting my foot down. I would be seventeen over the summer and I had a say. I shouldn't have to continue playing a sport I hated. They would never make Cas do something like that. I could see it now, everyone pointing at me because my prosthetic drawing unnecessary attention much like last year.

Stuffing the needed books for homework in my bag I closed my locker ready to get home. Turning to walk away Kelsey stood way too close for my liking tucking her phone in her back pocket. Her highlighted hair was up in a bun with a pencil sticking out. Wearing a light pink v-neck shirt that showed a great amount of her cleavage, she bounced a little moving them enough to get my attention. I mean they're breast. Of course I'm going to look. I wasn't going to do anything about though, she wasn't my type.

"Hey Lars."

"Hey."

"I'm having a party next Saturday. You should come."

"No thanks." I said politely as possible yet she frowned anyways poking out her bottom lip.

"Why not?"

"You've invited the entire school, right?"

"All that are important enough to be invited."

"Not sure how I made that list but I already have plans." Moving to step around her she touched my chest stopping me.

Looking down at her, Kelsey's pupils dilated as she spread her fingers across my chest a look of want shone brightly from her green eyes. Biting her bottom lip she stepped closer in her signature way that almost every guy at Colonial knew.

"Laaaars." She drew my name out. "Come on. It'll be fun. Plus it's a pool party and I just bought this perfect bikini that I want to show you personally."

Grabbing her wrist I removed her hand from my chest taking a step back giving us a more appropriate distance. "Can't." Pulling out my prosthetic arm I wiggled the fingers making her step back more. "My arm doesn't do well in water. Paid a lot of money for this and I'm not about to fuck it up over a chick in a two piece."

Tucking some hair behind her ear those dark green eyes moved around my prosthetic. "Well, I-I mean we can -"

"See you later Kelsey." I moved around her heading for the doors hiding my arm again.

"Wait! What if I said you can invite your little nerdy friend?" She called after me.

Slowing my steps I thought about Ethan's reaction to be invited to a party. He would probably tell me no just like I told Kelsey. Getting out would be good for him though. He could potentially meet someone just as exhilarated with technology as him. Who knows.

Turning back around Kelsey smiled, "So? What do you say?"

"His name is Ethan."

"Okay." She said as if it didn't matter.

"Tell your little boy toy Griffin and his childish friends to leave Ethan alone and I'll be there - only," I cut her off raising my finger. "only if he can come to the party."

"He won't even know anyone there but you. He'll ruin your fun."

Shrugging my shoulders knowing that I wouldn't have fun anyways I told her I didn't care. "Either he's invited too or you can forget it."

"Fine." She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. He can come."

"Great. You can count us both in." Turning back around to leave she yelled out for me to remember to wear trunks.

Not gonna happen

Walking to Ethan's truck he sat in the driver's seat head down in a book that I could barely see. Hearing light music I turned my head in the direction it was coming from but didn't see anything.

Knocking on the hood of his truck Ethan jumped. Chuckling to myself I got in as he put the book in his backpack tossing it in the backseat "Good book?"

"Great book." He said starting the truck when I heard the music again.

"Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"The music." I turned back towards the school. "What is that?"

"The band I think."

"The band? School is over in two weeks."

"They're probably practicing for the assembly the Wednesday before school is out. They also play at every graduation."

I nodded my head remembering that we did have an assembly two days before the end of the school year. Principle Howard thought it was a great way to say farewell to the seniors and prepare the other classmen about the upcoming school year. To me personally it was a waste of time. Quite a few kids would skip it and I would too but I preferred to keep watch over Ethan while he sat with his other friends.

Freshman year I remember watching Cas in the senior section laughing with his friends looking like he enjoyed everything life had given him. Little to everyone's knowledge that within seven hours he would be pronounced dead to our family.

"Lars?"

"Huh?" I turned to Ethan's concerned face. Looking from the road to me then back again he asked if I was okay.

I wasn't okay. I would never be okay.

I was the reason my brother was dead and no one would believe me but who could I talk to? Not a fucking single soul. Everyone said the same thing without letting finish my sentence.

It wasn't your fault Lars

It wasn't your fault

Don't blame yourself

Well who the hell was I supposed to blame then? My dead brother?

"I'm fine." I used the forever recurring lie. "Just got some things on my mind."

"You can talk to me Lars."

Bringing up Cas's death always put me in a sour mood that I didn't feel like being in today. Watching people's face droop into a frown as soon as I said Cas was a facial expression that I grew tired of within the first few months of his death. Even my old therapist couldn't help me.

"We've been invited to a pool party."

Ethan raised his brows before laughing. "Are you serious?" I looked at him with an expressionless face as his laugh faded. "You are serious."

"Do you want to go or not?"

"Who's party is it?"

"Kelsey Gunther."

"She doesn't even know me." He said slowing down at a red light.

"Not true."

"So she knows my name?" He scoffed.

"She knows of you."

Driving away once the light turned green he didn't say anything. I wasn't going to talk him into going to Kelsey's party because I didn't want to go either. It was all up to him anyways. He was the one with transportation and I could easily find something else to do.

Turning into the gated subdivision Ethan waved at the security guard that looked up from his hand held game to notice a truck approaching the gate. Driving through the neighborhood my thoughts went back to Neema. I wanted to see her again and not in school where we could be interrupted by school bells, pushy students trying to get in class, and teachers that wouldn't let you have two seconds to speak.

Maybe I should try to casually invite her to the block party for my birthday . . . Maybe not. I didn't want to attend the party myself. Then again she would make it all the more bearable. Ethan tried to make it fun as much as a guy friend could but there is only so much one could take being around rowdy kids, gossiping teens, and alcohol I couldn't drink.

Getting out of his truck I thanked Ethan for the ride closing the door behind me. Heading up the driveway I heard him call after me. "You never pointed Neema out to me. Did you find her?"

Remembering the few minutes we had alone together I smirked at the memory. "I did and she also told me her name. Now I just have to get her number."

"I can get it for you."

"Thanks man but I'd rather ask her and do it right from here on out." Ethan nodded but smiled. "I'll point her out to you tomorrow, if not then at the assembly for sure."

"I'll hold you to it."

"Right. You just be ready for your summer training. See you later."

Walking in the house Lulu was of course there to greet me happily. Rubbing her body against my legs going around in circles trying to get me to pet her everywhere I scratched behind her ears.

"Hey Lulu."

Walking through the house I peeked in each room surprised that my mother wasn't in at least one with papers scattered everywhere. Stopping in the sunroom I could see mom on the back porch talking on her cell pacing.

Walking back into the kitchen I searched through the cabinets until I found something worth consuming. Grabbing some of my sister's fruit snacks and one of her Capri Suns I poured the fruit snacks in my hands throwing away the evidence before she had a fit.

Just as I tossed the empty Capri Sun away the back door opened and mom walked in, her peach sundress flowing behind her stopping mid calf. Looking at her pink painted toes that Eloise did yesterday I noticed she wore a woven anklet.

"Hey honey. Did you just get home?"

"Y-Yeah. Hey mom. When did you get that ankle bracelet?"

Looking down at her ankle she thought for a moment. "I bought it from a colleague at work. His daughter makes them and he's trying to prove to her that they're worth selling, which they are. I think they are very cute. Do you want me to buy you one?"

The anklet looked a lot like the one Neema wore. Did I want to wear something that could have possibly been made by her? If these are done by her I might be able to gain some information about where we knew each other from.

"What's his name? The guy you work with."

My mom looked at me confused. "Jarvis Green, why?"

Damn it. It couldn't be her dad then.

"What's his daughter's name?"

"He didn't say. What are you trying to figure out Lars?"

"Mommy?" Eloise called from upstairs. "Can I go to my friend's house?"

"Lars?" My mom raised her brow waiting for me to tell her what was going on in my head but I wasn't going to.

Once I spilled that I was looking for a girl her eyes would start to sparkle and shine and I would never hear the end of it. Then she would tell dad full of excitement and he would say I needed to focus on baseball and school instead of girls. I would then have to tell both of my parents that I didn't want to play baseball my senior year. It was a conversation I would rather save for another time.

"Mom!" Ellie yelled again but my mom continued to ignore her.

"Everything's fine mom. I was um . . . I was just going to ask you if we could do cotton candy for the 4th too. You know, for the kids and all."

Mom smiled covering my hand with hers. "You have a soft spot for your sister."

I rolled my eyes shaking my head. "She has her moments."

"Cas had a soft spot for the both of you. You and him -"

"Mom, please."

Her face fell at my cut off. I wasn't trying to be rude to her. I loved my mom but I didn't want to talk about Cas. There was too much pain and guilt that came with his name.

"Okay." She squeezed my hand standing before rubbing my shoulder. "Stop eating your sisters snacks."

"Mom!"

"Eloise, stop yelling in this house." She said walking down the hall.

Going to my room I pulled out my books for the assignment due tomorrow. Sitting on the floor with my back against the bed I rolled my head from side to side massaging my sore neck. I had finished the homework that was a lot easier than expected. I didn't think Mrs. Launder would give us something ridiculous at the end of the year that she would have to grade herself.

Grabbing my phone I paused the music that was playing from the speakers around my room via bluetooth enjoying the sounds of instrumental music while I worked. Hearing words while I tried to read or write was difficult for me and eventually I would end up writing down the lyrics to the song unintentionally so I kept to instrumentals of Maroon 5. Scrolling through my normal playlist with the lyrics included I pressed a random song closing my eyes resting my head back as the intro began when thoughts of Neema came to mind.

Lifting the phone above my face I read the name of the song surprised that I've never heard it before. "What lovers do."

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