< -- twenty - eight -- >

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"HAPPY BIRTHDAY LARS!"

Even though the duet screams weren't close, my eyes snapped open at the outburst, heart beating a mile a minute my first thought was to panic realizing in seconds that it was a scream of joy. A special day for those who cared.

It was my birthday.

I was finally seventeen. Only 365 days until I was legal but who was counting? I was taking things one day at a time.

Today was going to be filled with balloons, congratulations on being a year older from my neighbors, music blasting from the wooden table holding speakers that seemed to get bigger every year. Little kids running around with water balloons and water guns. Everything would be great, I already knew that. My mom always did an amazing job but the gifts were never what I truly wanted especially these past few years. Not even the greatest birthday wish could bring my brother back. Accepting the fact that I couldn't trade places with Cas or wish him back to life there were things that I could change.

First thing was myself and how I messed up with Neema.

Rolling onto my back my eyes moved towards the window. The sky a bright cloudless blue as a few birds flew by probably enjoying such a quick way to move.

"I remember hiding from you every birthday cause I knew you were going to punch me as hard as you could. A solid punch to remind me that even though I was a year older, you were still the older brother." Rubbing over my face feeling a little silly, I continued. "I know that you would still do it if you were here today and I'm sure it would continue until you were too old to punch me. You would probably hit me with your cane or throw your walker at me still having a good arm as a wrinkled man."

Lowering my eyes to the empty space where the rest of my arm should be, the feeling of sadness didn't hit me this time. It felt different, more of acceptance even after almost three years.

"So thanks big bro." The break in my voice wasn't unexpected yet rather a welcomed emotion that I knew would pass. "Thanks for the b-day wish all the way from up there. I know you're with me and probably yelling at me for going into your room but I needed to be with you just for a second. Yeah, I just . . . I just needed to know you didn't hate me like dad does. Alright, enough of that." Shifting into an upright position I grabbed my phone just as my bedroom door burst open.

"Did you not hear us calling you?" Eloise asked with a little too much attitude for a ten year old. "It's time for breakfast and mom said we can't eat until you come downstairs. Since apparently today is only about you and the rest of us have to starve, can you please hurry up?" She smiled at the end for added charm.

"You know, you should be nicer to the birthday boy Eloise." I crossed my ankles getting comfortable as if I didn't plan on leaving my bed even though my mouth was watering at the smell of french toast. "I mean not just anyone can be born today."

"Literally anyone can be born today. It's like any other day."

"I mean anyone can be born in November, like you."

Watching Ellie roll her eyes in irritation she rubbed the bridge of her nose, "Literally, anyone can be born on the fourth of July Lars! You aren't that special."

"Says the person who has to help put up the Christmas tree on her birthday."

"Would you like your birthday hits now?" She asked, showing off that sweet killer smile.

I gasped for dramatic effect raising my hand to my chest, "You would hit me Eloise? The birthday boy?"

"I see you've gotten more dramatic over the year. Congrats, now hurry up Lars! Ethan is here with a group of people that are supposed to save your birthday or whatever that means."

"Shit!" Jumping out of my bed I slid past Eloise trying not to bump her. Running downstairs slipping twice on the steps, I quickly caught myself pausing at that hole in the wall that hadn't been fixed yet.

Stepping away moving towards the living room, I found four teenagers standing in my living room looking at our family pictures on the walls as Ethan came out of the kitchen talking to a girl with dark skin and hair that reminding me of cotton candy.

She was very beautiful in her deep blue sundress. Her hair was wavy and large as a friendly smile remained on her face while she spoke with Ethan. My best friend talked to her in such a calm manner I had to mentally give him props but I knew he was nervous by the beet red color at the tips of his ears.

Spotting me at the bottom of the steps looking out of place in my own home, Ethan cleared his throat gaining everyone's attention. "Hey Lars, I found a band for you." He rubbed the top of his left ear. "Yeah, I was on social media and saw this local group." He gestured towards them. "They've done a few gigs and Sanai here sings lead." He finished with a small tint to his pale cheeks.

"Hey." She stepped forward with an outstretched hand. "We're called um, Modern Bliss. The name isn't great but I promise we sound better." She laughed as a few of her band members agreed.

Reaching out to shake her hand I moved to hide my bionic arm only to realize that I never put it on. Panic began to rise in my chest at the reactions I would have to deal with. Having the arm on was one thing while not wearing it was completely different.

Moving my eyes around the room trying to read everyone's faces, preparing myself for the questions of how I was going to play, none of them stared at the empty space.

"It was a rock, paper, scissors decision on the voting." The brown hair kid pointed at me with a drumstick. He was about my height with braids to the back of his head stopping just past his shoulders. His nose held a stud piercing on both sides in which I could admire. Not many guys liked to have piercings on their face but he pulled it off nicely. "I'm Cameron, obviously the best of the group as the drummer." He twirled the light wooden stick between his fingers.

"The name was my idea." The guy standing in front of our latest family photo spoke. At first glance he looked kind of . . . like a vampire. His skin was deathly pale, his hair jet black matching his dark doe eyes. Ink colored hair went well past his shoulders which he wore in a half pulled back bun that showed off the medium gages in his ears. Silver rings on several of his fingers and two silver chains around his neck, he smiled brightly at me. "Names Colin, friend. I play rhythm guitar and sing backup."

"And I promise he's not as scary as he looks." Sanai smiled at my curious look.

"Don't believe her." He rolled his eyes. "I have a reputation to fulfill. Remember that I'm a terrifying soul."

"You wish." The girl with red dreads pulled up on top of her head spoke. Her skin on full display as she wore shorts that made me advert my eyes. Her bright pink crop top shirt was tight against her skin showing off a silver belly button piercing with a dangling seahorse. Cool. "I'm LayNani but everyone calls me Nani."

"And I was the winning vote for the band name." The last unknown member bumped fists with Colin. "I'm Elian." He said smoothly with an accent I was definitely jealous of.

"So that's all of us." Sanai spoke again. "A little run down about us, we all live in Jacksonville -"

"You drove over four hours to get here?" My eyes wide with shock. I couldn't believe they would drive four hours to play at a birthday party. Ugh, just thinking that made me feel like a child.

"All expenses have been paid for so don't worry about it." Ethan smiled. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks man. This really means a lot to me."

"So," Cameron stepped forward nodding to a beat no one else heard, "what song are we playing?"

Explaining in full detail of how I wanted the day to go, I told them about the song and what it meant to me. How I was hoping this would give me a jump start into fixing things with Neema keeping to myself how much I missed her.

We didn't have time to practice since they still needed to set up because they were going to play their own music as well. Sanai assured me that they knew the song well and often played it when they were warming up. Wanting to help ease my nerves we sang through it once with just Cameron drumming against his thigh while I practiced the finger motions.

Ending the second chorus in laughter due to Colin and Nani starting a humming battle for their guitars, Sanai covered her mouth after a surprised snort, "Alright, we should end it here and get set up outside."

We all agreed with her and the band left leaving Ethan and I alone. "I hope this works." I rubbed over my face heading to the kitchen for a late birthday breakfast.

The old colorful happy birthday sign probably from the first set that was sent to Wal-Mart, hung from white hooks that had several red and blue balloons tied around the ends. Mom jumped up from the table throwing in the air a handful of confetti. "Happy birthday Lars!"

"Hmphy birmphaye." Ellie tried to speak around a mouth full of food. Slightly disgusted by the unnecessary amount of syrup that poured from her mouth. Her eyes widened as she scrambled for a napkin once she spotted Ethan behind me.

"Ellie, calm down and chew your food." Mom rubbed her back as she choked trying to quickly chew her food and drink her juice. "Sorry for not waiting for you honey but the food was getting cold and your sister was hungry."

"It's okay mom." I smiled, walking over to hug and thank her for getting up so early on her day off to cook me breakfast. "You're the best." I kissed her temple.

"Anything for you." She gently patted my jaw with teary eyes.

"You okay?"

Brushing away a tear that passed her lashes I was pulled into a surprised hug.

Worry sat at the forefront of my mind. I didn't know what to do or to say besides hug her back but this hug was different. It felt tighter as if she was holding onto me for strength.

Glancing at Ellie, she no longer ate her breakfast but watched us instead. Ethan remained in the same place shifting his eyes from my mother's back, to Ellie then me, nodding towards the hall.

"Mom, do you want to -"

"I just need a minute." She stepped away wiping her eyes again with a smile I knew was forced. "I'm going to freshen myself up and I'll be back before the guests start coming in. You need to eat and then go help outside. You too Ethan and Ellie." She passed by my best friend touching his shoulder as she left the room.

Unsure of what to say I looked away from where my mom left over to Ellie stiffening at the worry look in her eyes. "Lars -"

"Don't worry about mom Ellie. I got it." Ruffing her hair hoping to distract her thoughts, she yelled at me for messing up her hair giving me enough time to steal one of her strips of bacon.

"Hey, that was mine!"

"It's mine now!" I stuffed it in my mouth running away. "Birthday boy wins!"

Opening the front door our block was still in the beginning stages of being decorated. Light posts were being decorated, tables and chairs put up. Three grills were next to each other with their rightful owners standing near them.

Mr. Rudy, Mr. Fuller and Mrs. Estrada pointed at their bags of charcoal and wood that had them nodding and shaking their heads. Not wanting to even try and decipher what they were talking about I could see Mrs. Fuller making her front yard into a giant tic-tac-toe game.

Modern Bliss were still setting up on stage. Colin and Nani were laughing and smiling while Sanai sat on the edge of the stage with a pencil and notebook on her lap. Elian stood to the side of his keyboards shaking his head as Cameron smiled trying to play something that wasn't to Elian's liking.

Smiling at the group of friends a figure caught my attention as he walked across my neighbors lawn making his way to my house. In basketball shorts and a sleeveless shirt, his wrist held a bracelet that looked very familiar.

Spotting my standing at the door a smile made its way onto his face as my eyes slightly narrowed. I didn't know how to react with him just yet. Since I met him I've been nice with no reason to be mean or pull him to the side for the talk but maybe I should. It was difficult for me to know what his relationship was so I tried to remain neutral.

"Eloise! William is outside!"

"I'm coming!" The scratching sound of the kitchen chair scraping against the floor was like an echo through the house. Water from the kitchen sink was heard for a few seconds before the clink of the dishes hitting the bottom of the empty sink and footsteps thundered down the hall.

Ginger hair flew in the wind as she came into view wiping over her mouth before reaching into her pocket to pull out some chap stick. "Woah woah woah." I grabbed her shoulder. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Going outside?" She answered me confused.

"What's with the chap stick?"

"My lips are dry!" She moved past me to exit the house.

"That better be the only reason Eloise!" I yelled after her as she ran over to William. The little boy waved at me then bumped shoulders with my sister, making her smile.

"Why are you making that face?" Ethan asked, coming to stand next to me.

"Do ten year olds date? Like, was there a girl you wanted to date when you were ten?"

"No, not really." He pocketed his hands. "I was focused on making a rollercoaster ride that's kind of like playing catch." He laughed lightly. "Never got anyone willing to test out the model so that idea crashed but there was a girl in my class that was really pretty. I think her name was Olivia."

"So you think Ellie and William are a thing?" I mentally shuddered at the thought of my baby sister dating.

"I don't think I'm the right person to ask."

Nodding my head in agreement as I watched my sister and William walk over to the man with the balloons, I turned to Ethan ready to ask him about Neema when I noticed the blush on his cheeks.

As if he felt my eyes on him, he quickly turned away from the door with a clear of his throat. "Why don't you go talk to her?" I asked, knowing he was looking at Sanai.

"Because no one likes a nerd so I'll bypass on the rejection and stay clear."

"How do you know she'll reject you?"

"Have you seen her?" He asked with wide eyes gesturing towards the door then to himself, "Have you seen me? I have no chance." He fell into the couch in defeat. Letting his head fall back, he looked up at the ceiling. "She would go for somebody like you with the cool snake bites and the bionic arm. You have stories to tell and I -" running a hand through his hair he sighed, "and I wear freaking glasses and like computers. She writes music about love!" He jolted up straight, "I don't know anything about love! My parents are never home!"

"Calm down E." I glanced outside to Sanai reaming in the same spotting swinging her feet while her lips moved. "Nobody said anything about falling in love. All I said was talk to her. Get to know her and see where that goes."

"She doesn't want to get to know a guy like me Lars."

"I think she might." I casually shrugged. "I saw how you two were talking when I came downstairs. If nothing comes from it romantically, she seems like the type to at least be your friend."

"I don't think she needs any more friends. She has a band full." He sadly laughed at his own joke shaking his head.

"Go outside and talk to her E. Ask her what she's writing about and let her do the talking. I'm sure she'll get lost in explaining the lyrics. I'm going to check on my mom."

"Fine." He rolled his eyes taking his time leaving. Deciding against kicking him to make him move faster, I jogged upstairs to my parents- mom's room. Waiting a few seconds after I knocked, I knocked again calling for her as I walked in.

Finding her bedroom empty I could hear her voice coming from the closet. The door was almost shut leaving just enough space for me to see her sitting on the floor with her cellphone to her ear.

"Yes, I know that . . . No . . . No . . . The divorce has nothing to do with it . . . You can't . . . No, you can't come to his party . . . Because it's not safe."

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