< -- twenty - four -- >

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Feeling my body being shaken I tried to blink my eyes open but they felt like lead. My brain felt like it was trying to be sucked out of my body through my asshole. My limbs were still a little sore as images of Kelsey upside down on the floor while I squatted on the edge of the couch pounding into her ca
me to mind waking me up with a full on dry heave.

"Oh gross."

Hearing the familiar voice made my stomach tighten even more wishing that they weren't witnessing my death. I just wanted to be alone.

Closing my eyes for just a few more seconds I spat once more before rising on shaky legs. Seeing Ethan step forward to help I put my hand out warning him to back off. Furrowing his brows he pocketed his hands stepping back as I passed by to brush the filth from my mouth.

Standing silently to the side I tried to ignore his presence. How was I supposed to explain to my best friend that I was avoiding him because I was even more tempted to take my life. Living for Eloise was the only thing that was keeping me going. I wouldn't leave her alone not after the pain I've already caused her.

"Lars." He called out as I walked past to turn on the shower. "Lars, don't ignore me. Lars!"

"What are you doing here E?" I groaned, rubbing over my temples in pain.

He snorted in irritation, "Is that supposed to be a rhetorical question?"

"No, it's not. We haven't spoken in almost two months, so what are you doing here?"

Crossing his arms he narrowed his eyes at me, the tips of his ears turning red. "Just because we haven't spoken in twenty-eight days doesn't mean that you're not my best friend anymore. You just went through something rough and I know that you like to be alone when things get out of your control 'cause you need time to process so I was giving you space. I wasn't surprised when your mom called me but I tried to get a hold of you to at least bring her some peace but then I got a call this morning. The caller ID said Lars but a little ten year old girl with a worried voice asked me to go check on her brother.

So of course I come to see what's going on but what surprises me is when your mom says she's so happy that I found some time to come and hangout since I've been sooo busy. I get that you want to be alone sometimes - trust me, I've learned after trying to get you to talk about Cas before you were ready. I've given you space Lars and I'm still your best friend. You can talk to me and you know that. I'm just a little confused as to why you thought you couldn't talk to me. You had no problem speaking with Neema." He gestured towards my body.

Grimacing slightly I ran my hand over the back of my neck hating that he was right. Pulling at my rings on an inhale I let them go dreading how this was going to sound. "These aren't from Neema."

Saying nothing, his head cocked much like a puppy waiting for me to continue.

"Kelsey hit me up."

"So you cheated on Neema?"

"I DIDN'T - I . . . we aren't together anymore." My arms dropped to the side in defeat. "I ended things the day of Ellie's accident."

"You broke up with her?"

"Mmhm." Sitting on the edge of my bed I leaned forward on an exhale pussing my hair back.

"You broke up with Neema?"

"That's what I said Ethan and you're not helping."

"I'm not helping." He scoffed. "Look at you! You slept with Kelsey instead of trying to fix your relationship with Neema."

"Look!" I snapped feeling irritation and disappointment burn in my gut. "I really don't need this shit right now. So now that you've checked in on me you can go."

"Fine." I heard his steps move further away then my bedroom door open. "I'm only doing this so you know I'm upset with you . . . but I'll be back in a few days to check on you again."

"What are you-" The door slammed shut causing my headache to throb from the base of my neck to my temples. "Shit." I groan, falling face first on my bed holding my breath against the pillows for as long as possible until my lungs begin to burn.

Turning my head to the side I stare at my closet door thinking back to the night before. Why didn't I just tell Kelsey to leave me alone? Why couldn't I just ignore her?

Getting in the shower I washed over myself scrubbing until my skin felt raw hoping that yesterday's mistake would run down the drain. The streams of blasting hot water beat against my scalp then ran through my wet hair dripping from my nose, eyelids, and chin. Lifting my head from under the shower head I looked at my arm stump exhaling at what used to be there.

Back when both my arms were good and I was a decent person, life didn't seem like a shit storm . . . but even with my prosthetic Neema cared for me . . . she loved the way that I touched her.

'You are the one I want.'

Her words gave me chills underneath the hot water alerting my lower half to the soothing sound of her voice.

I missed so much about her

The way those amber eyes stayed hooded as I dipped between her legs. The way goosebumps peppered across her skin as she gasped for air. The way her back arched surprised beyond arousal from her first encounter to oral sex.

Opening my eyes I looked down as my dick twitched with need. Red around the head it leaked precum from the old memories of Neema moaning my name.

Gripping around the base I pulled towards the head rubbing my thumb over the slit teasing myself. "Fuck." With a twist of the wrist I began moving at a slow pace squeezing around the head everytime. Each brush of the pad of my thumb over my sensitive head, had my legs shaking.

Leaning against the shower wall I could feel Neema's hands on me rubbing over my body as she kissed down the crease of my back. Her left hand brushing over my nipples as she trailed her fingers down my abs. Her right hand pushed away my left taking my dick it in her small one.

"Fuck Neema." My head fell back as she slowly stroked me until my eyes crossed.

Turning me around, earning me a full view of her naked body, her dark kissed nipples were budded, begging for attention. Bringing her closer I snaked my arm around her waist cupping her ass sealing the kiss of missing her.

Tracing her jaw I moved my hand down her shoulder cupping her breast as I lowered my head sucking it into my mouth. Her moan echoed off the walls as she pulled me closer. Moving my head even further I grabbed her ass squeezing tightly before smacking it loving how she giggled.

Lowering to my knees I kissed her stomach, licking over her hips as I raised her leg placing it on my shoulder. Kissing her closely shaved pubic hair I felt her body tense up. Raising my head she looked down biting her bottom lip making my dick throb.

With a raised brow in question if she wanted me to continue her fingers buried into my wet hair bringing my face up close and personal to her pussy lips. Taking that as a, 'please continue', I sucked her lips into my mouth rolling my tongue around her folds until her clit came out to play.

Hearing her cry out as I sucked on the sensitive bud I grabbed her firmly with my arm opening my mouth wider to lick her better. Cursing at myself for being unable to hold her still and widen her pussy with a hand that wasn't there, I made do with being in the shower and having one hand.

Neema rolled her pelvis against my mouth pulling at my hair as I ate her out. Peeking up I couldn't help but smirk as she played with her nipples moaning my name in a four count.

So close

She was so close and I could feel her clit pulse warning me of the upcoming orgasm. Instead of giving her what she desperately wanted I released her hold stand up to tower over her short frame.

Grabbing her neck I raised her chin with my thumb taking her bottom lip hungrily. The taste of warm water on her lips slid down my throat much like the juices of her pussy. Pushing her back I lowered her to her knees. She kissed the tip of my dick licking over the slit as she stroked me.

"Fold your lips over your teeth and relax your jaw. It's okay."

Folding her lips over she took me in her mouth startling me just a bit as her back teeth grazed my dick. It wasn't a bad feeling, no. Just a surprised one but welcomed.

Using mostly her hand I was happy that she wanted to keep going. Her sucking was a bit sloppy but her rhythm was good. Knowing that her jaw would start aching soon I held her head in place. Taking a small moment to admire how the droplets of water disappeared in her curly hair.

My fingers stayed just past her hairline as I held her head still to properly fuck her mouth. Pumping a few times Neema tilted her head back allowing me to touch the back of her throat making her gag. "Sorry." She glared at me. "Sorry." I apologized again, brushing the droplets of water from around her eyes.

Opening her mouth again she guided me in grabbing my thighs as I mouth fucked her until I felt the tightening in my nut sack. Pulling out, I helped her stand making a circle motion in the air to let her know I wanted it from the back.

It was our first time together and she would be uncomfortable but shower sex was an easy clean up afterwards. Running my hand down her neck and back I stopped at the top of her ass squeezing one cheek then slamming it.

Instead of a giggle she moaned making my dick twitch in delight. Stroking my dick a few times I rubbed it over her wet folds teasing us both. "Just do it Lars. Please."

Taking the invitation I pushed through breaking her hymen in the process . . .

"Fucking shit! Neema!" My eyes shot open as sperm flew against the wall and over the tub's faucet. "Fuck." My strokes continued at a fast pace needing to get everything out. My toes curled, abs tighten, eyes crossed so hard I had to shut them tightly.

Pulling until the head of my dick became tender with pleasure, I leaned against the shower wall in relief lifting my hand to let the ejacualtion rinse away. Cupping my hand I tossed water over the cum that was on the faucet and wall.

Once my ears stopped ringing I washed twice more grabbing a towel drying my hair quickly. Wrapping it around my waist ready to sleep the rest of the day away I stepped out of the bathroom freezing as Neema jumped up from my bed, eyes roaming my naked torso.

Embarrassment burned against my cheeks knowing that she heard. There was no way that she couldn't have since the bathroom door was open!

I didn't know what the hell to say. The girl I had broken up with over two months ago was the same girl I was jacking off to in the shower almost two minutes ago now stood in front of me still looking sexy as fuck.

A black crop top that read Lazy, in white bold lettering across her breasts showed a gap of dark brown skin. Her grey, short as hell gym shorts were rolled at the top leaving out those lip licking legs. Her woven anklet matched the one around her waist making a tint in my towel that I had no way of truly hiding.

Doing as best as I could, I moved as if I was trying to hold the knot at my waist tighter. Walking to my dresser to grab a pair of shorts hoping to look casual. My heart thumped in my heart as if it was trying to escape. "What are you doing here Neema?" I asked removing my towel once my lower half was fully covered.

"You moved on quick."

Looking down, the scattered hickies Kelsey left stood out like they glowed in the dark.

Shit

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