https://youtu.be/lgR6Plmo0QY

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a smidge of smut

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< -- nineteen -->

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Parking in front of my house Neema turned the engine off leaning forward to view the place I called home. Looking at the empty driveway I smirked to myself having visuals of what we could be doing in mere minutes. My smile faltered as my dad's white Range Rover pulled into the driveway.

"Your mom has a nice truck. I love Range Rovers."

"It's my dad's." I mumbled unbuckling myself. "Stay here."

"Wait! Do you need he-" Her question was cut off as I shut the car door trying my hardest not to limp as I walked over to my father.

Coming around his truck, house keys jingling in his hand, he made his way to the house with a quick glance to my car then a double take when he saw me. "Lars?"

Not looking like a man who was missing his family after being put out of his home. My dad was dressed in his office clothes, meaning he didn't have surgery today, turned to fully look at me taking a step closer once he saw my fresh wounds.

Keeping my stance as he walked closer to me I squared my shoulders to prove that I wasn't weak because he was no longer in the house. Glancing past my face I moved to block his view of my car. "What are you doing here?"

"This is my house. I live here. What happened to your face and who gave you permission to drive your car?"

"What are you doing here?" I repeated.

"Who do you think - oh." He scoffed pocketing his keys. "Your mom told you, huh?" Saying nothing I watched him take several steps back shaking his head. "I won't apologize for wanting my son's murderer to be convicted."

Flinching at his words I knew that they were from the heart. I was the one that killed my brother and dad was right, I needed to be locked away or given the death penalty. They all claimed that it was a freak accident. Only being asked how the accident happened during my stay at the hospital, once I was discharged no one asked me anything expect if I was hungry.

They didn't ask me if I was having cold sweats from nightmares. Or if I was feeling suicidal every time I opened my eyes knowing that my older brother was never going to knock on my door as he passed by just because he felt like it. That when I looked at my baby sister my gut turned in pain as bile rose in my throat knowing that it was my fault her favorite brother was never coming back.

"It seems like I'm the only person in this house that can see you for the person you are. A walking killer! You breathe and eat and live your life as if your brother isn't six feet under! As if it wasn't your fault!"

"I never said it wasn't my fault!" I screamed to shut him up. "You don't think the weight of my brother's death doesn't sit on me? You think that I enjoy opening my eyes every morning knowing that I'm the one allowed to walk this earth instead of Cas? That everyone would be better off if it was me instead of him! That it should have been me instead of him! You don't think I know that? YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW THAT!"

"Lars!"

Hearing my mother's voice all of my senses came to life. The pressure of my nails digging into my palm. The taste of blood from the bite on my tongue when I yelled. The smell of my father's cologne and how close I was to him.

Taking a step back hearing a small sniff I turned to mom holding a teary eyed Ellie close to her. Feeling myself being pulled further away from my father a small breeze made me wipe the moisture from my cheeks.

"You need to leave David."

"I'm not going anywhere Angie. You said we would talk today."

"Now is clearly not the time when the kids are upset. Come back another time."

"You want me to leave because the boy is having a guilt trip over something that was his fault?"

Feeling my heart crack down the middle I didn't realize I was pulled through the house and up to my room until I felt the bed dip next to me. Blinking rapidly I raised my eyes to the closed door then over to her perfect amber eyes that were clouded with tears.

"I'm so sorry Lars." She whispered softly grabbing my hand. Rubbing her thumb over the back of my hand her eyes fell to our touch as tears dropped on the tips of our fingers.

Why was she crying? She wasn't the one that killed Cas. She was living a guilt free life full of music and smiles.

Smiles that I wanted to see everyday. Lips that I wanted to kiss even more.

Eyes that I loved to stare in and a body that I wanted to wrap myself around.

"I should have followed you out of the car. That entire conversation could have been avoided if I had gotten out with you. I really want to punch your dad in the face." She laughed lightly but the smile didn't touch her eyes.

I didn't want her to be sad, no. Not because of me. Not my Neema.

I wanted to see that beautiful smile again. To hear her laugh or tell me more about her unknown enjoyment for running. I wanted to see the girl I was falling for. Not this. I didn't want tears and pain in her heart.

Touching my fingers just underneath her chin I raised her watery eyes to mine giving no chance to overthink what would happen - I kissed her.

Despite the voice warning me that this might be the wrong time to make out with my fake girlfriend, I needed it to be the right time. I needed this time, right here and now for things to be okay. For just a little while I needed Neema to let me show her that I was more than a failed pull out incident.

Feeling her warm lips move against mine I waited for the sign that she was for it. That she wouldn't pull back in a few seconds and tell me that we weren't thinking straight.

Cupping her face with my prosthetic she turned her body to me, tilting her head just enough she parted her lips letting me slip past giving the sign that I needed. Deepening the kiss our teeth clinked together as I pulled her on my lap. Her hands moved from my jaw to the back of my head gently tugging at my scalp. My own hands cupped over her jean covered ass slipping just underneath the edge of her shirt.

Nipping at the bottom of her lip I trailed kisses down her neck leaving love bites as I went earning musical moans that made me smile against her skin. Smoothing my hands over her hips I reached up unclipping her bra with one hand slightly impressed with myself that I still had it.

Lifting her shirt up she didn't resist as I tossed it to the floor coming back for her mouth as I pulled the bra free from her arms tossing it in another direction. Breaking the kiss to latch on to a nipple her arms were already covering her globes. "Wait Lars. We can't." Her breaths heavy from our makeout session sounded a bit unsure.

"Why not? Are you not ready? I mean we can - we can wait."

"It's not that, I just . . . your mom and sister are downstairs. I mean they're right downstairs and your door isn't even locked."

"Then let's solve the problem. Hold on." I suggested gripping her ass as I stood from the bed fully aware that my dick was ready to be in a warm home. Walking over to the door I flipped the lock leaning her against the door. "Problem solved." I whispered kissing up her neck.

"And what about the people in the house?" She breathed not putting up much of a fight. I would go as far as she would let me. When no or stop was said then we would do just that, stop.

"Don't scream too loud then." I pulled her face back down to mine pressing my lips against hers in a starving manner. Sucking on her tongue while brushing my thumb over her nipples I needed more.

Moving back to the bed I laid her down gently breaking apart to pull my shirt off careful of the broken skin on my arm. Tossing is away I paused for a moment to look her over loving the way her chest rose and fell from excitement. Her brown nipples were budded and ready for tasting.

"What's wrong?" She asked reaching over the edge of the bed to grab the shirt I had just tossed pulling it over her head. "Did you change your mind?"

"Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Lars -"

"With. This." I raised my left arm wiggling my fingers. "Are you okay with a robot hand touching over your body?" My eyes falling at the description of who I was, the half human. "Are you okay with this touching over your delicate skin? Are you okay with it not being a real hand?"

Feeling my face being lifted her amber eyes were filled with anger. "Do not ever talk about yourself like that. Your arm is apart of who you are. It is you Lars." She scooted closer putting my prosthetic on her hip then slowly raising it to her breast. "And this is what I want. You are the one I want."

Wrapping her arms around my neck she lowered us on the bed taking over the kiss. Rubbing over my shoulders and arms she moaned in my mouth breaking the kiss to leave her own bite marks over my neck that sent tingles straight to my nut sack. "Let me taste you."

Her kissing stopped. Leaning back she sucked her bottom lip. "Are you sure? I mean . . . what if you don't like it? What if I don't like it?"

"If you don't like it just tell me and I'll stop." I kissed her forehead tracing my finger over the shell of her ear and the several earrings she wore. "And I will love the taste of you, don't worry."

"Okay." She whispered with a nod. "Okay but I want to watch."

Stacking the pillows behind her waiting until she was comfortable with a decent view I lowered myself enjoying that she wore my t-shirt. Pulling it up just enough to show her stomach I kissed over the skin above her jean shorts. Watching her stomach tighten with the first few ticklish kisses I unbuttoned her shorts easing the zipper down with time.

Peeking up to see her watching me intensely I tugged she shorts off tossing them somewhere near the foot of the bed. A grey thong with Pink in bold green on the side had me rearranging myself.

Grabbing gently by the sides I pulled them off moving them to the edge of the bed in case we needed to dress quickly. Lowering myself I placed her right leg over my uninjured shoulder widened her left leg to give me better access. Wrapping my prosthetic arm around her thigh I pulled back on the skin covering her clit. Her juices covering the pink bud as the blood rushed to it making her clit pulse. "You watching?" I smirked with a raised brow knowing that she was ready to experience oral sex for the first time.

"OH!" She gasped so loud I was almost afraid her soul slipped out. Her legs immediately tensed around me shaking with every wet lick I gave. "Lars! Oh, Lars!"

Opening my eyes to wink at her, Neema's head had already fallen back. My sheets bawled into her small fist her moans grew louder and louder with her mouth ajar. Within three minutes of eating she came over my tongue. Grabbing the underwear I reached up stuffing them in her mouth as she trembled under me muffling her scream.

"Lars?" A knock rapped on my door. "Lars, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Not particularly caring to answer the door I knew my mom wouldn't come in and I wanted to prolong Neema's orgasm so I continued giving her clit long pressured licks keeping my hand over her panty filled mouth.

"Lars, are you in there?"

I'm definitely in here

Crawling up her body pulling my shirt up as I went, I paused over her breast lowering myself to her nipple taking one in my mouth. Hearing Neema spit out her underwear she arched her back pushing her breast towards me.

"Lars?" The knock sounded again.

"Go." Neema moaned. "Go before we get caught."

Releasing her nipple I captured her lips again for a passionate kiss. Fuck that door. "Be my girlfriend Ms. Marshall." I asked against her lips before pulling back so we could look each other in the eyes. "I want there to be a real us. I want you to be mine and only mine."

"Lars open this door!"

"What do you say Ms. Marshall? You want to be official with me?"

"Of course I will." She pecked my lips several times but it wasn't enough. Cupping her head with my prosthetic I held her still, sealing our new relationship with a kiss.

"Now you're officially mine."

"And you're mine."

"Lars Crawford! Open this door right now!"

Kissing her forehead I groaned not wanting to leave her in my bed alone. "Coming Mom. Hold on." Opening a few windows in the room I walked to the door as something hit the back of my head.

Grabbing it I looked back to Neema who was buttoning her shorts now fully dressed. "Put your clothes on."

Doing as I was told I opened the door to my concerned mother. "What are you doing in here?" She gasped. "What happened to your face?" She reached for my bruised face but I caught her wrist not wanting her to come any closer and smell Neema's juices on my breath. "What is going on?" Her eyes looked past me. "Neema?"

"Hi Mrs. Crawford."

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