~

I felt warmth hit my face as I shifted awake, the scent of lavender entering my nose leaving a soft feeling inside my chest and a smile on my lips. My eyes flattered open but quickly shut again from the unexpected source of light that was hitting my face. My body turned against the light opening them to a strange room.

This isn't my room.

My gaze looked all over remembering where I was, all the thoughts from the previous night rushed over me causing my face to heat up slightly. I shook my head then sat up slowly, gentle snores came from my left making me look over.

My gaze landed on the man that the bed I was in belonged to; his body was covered by his messy uniform he had fallen asleep in, his greyish shirt was untucked from his white jeans, his silky black hair that was usually perfect was now a bit more messier with a few strands of hair peeking out from the side of his head.

Seeing him like this reminded me of yesterday's morning where I was in a similar situation as this. He held the same book as he had then; on his chest that raised with his soft breaths, one hand was over the book while the other almost hanging off his left thigh. His lips were parted and his face looked so relaxed, he kind of looked like a porcelain doll, so fragile.

I looked back at his chest, his cravat was undone and sliding off his neck down his chest. My eyes went back to his gentle face and unintentionally to his lips, my body started to move on it's own slowly getting of the bed leaving a few creeks behind. My legs moving towards his defenceless body, I stood closer to him observing him.

My hands moved to either side of him landing onto both of the arms of his chair with my face inching closer towards his, it was like some sort of spell I was under. I could not control myself nor did I have any feelings against it. My body was moving on its own.

Though all I could think of was his lips; the feeling of them onto my own, how soft they were and how they might taste. I didn't know why I was thinking about this now, maybe it was the heat of the moment or something more.

Y/n snap out of it, you can't kiss him.

Though my thoughts told me not to I couldn't stop myself. As much as I was telling myself off, my body wouldn't respond to my mind. My face was now so close to his that our noses almost were touching, his breathing was now uneven indicating he was waking up but even with that fact I didn't back away.

His eyes opened staring straight into mine, I was lost into them, like something just snatched me inside them. His eyes looked all over my face but mine stayed on his and his only. He looked a bit startled but he didn't flinch or push me away.

Get a grip.

My body moved closer if that was even possible.

Get off him.

My chest pushing against his.

"What are you doing?" His words came out with no emotion what so ever, it had no sign of irritation or confusion it didn't seem like he was annoyed or shocked by my closeness. He looked at my lips then back at my eyes, silence fell between us once again. My lips were almost touching his, the heat of my face was radiating onto his. His small breaths that landed onto my cheeks cooling them off the smallest bit.

I want to...

Slam.

The door slammed open causing both of our heads to turned towards the person who dared to barge in like this, when my eyes met blue wide ones I immediately shot up from Levi standing in the middle of the room with my hands over my face.

"What.." Erwin began putting the pieces together quite quickly, his eyes jumped from me to Levi a few times before Levi spoke.

"Well eyebrows, have you forgotten how to knock?" Levi said as he stood up resulting in his cravat to hit the ground, Levi rubbed his face for a second then picked up the white cloth and starting to place it back around his neck.

"What were the two of you.." Erwin said in some of disbelief but it was clear that he was on the verge of killing Levi.

"What do you want?" Levi said his stern tone coming back, he crossed his arms over his chest waiting for Erwin's answer.

"Well.. I checked for Y/n in her room as I was worried, and she wasn't there so I came here in hopes to find her." He stopped then eyed, "and by the looks of things she's alright." He said giving me a 'we'll talk later' look.

"Indeed she is." Levi started to walk over to the door.

"May I have a word with you Levi." Erwin stated more than asked, the short man only replied with his usual 'tch' and walked out of the room not even giving me another glance.

I fell back onto the bed feeling my heart beat fast like it was about to jump out of my chest and chase after Levi, my face felt like a hot cup of tea was poured over it. I couldn't believe what I had almost just done.

I had almost just kissed Levi!

But the most shocking thing was that he didn't even push me back or do anything against it.

What's going on with me?!

________________________________________
[time skip]

I marched through the hall heading for my office, my mind was spinning with thoughts that haven't left since the insistent from this morning. I couldn't believe what I had almost done it was so weird, I had absolutely no control over myself at all... and then Erwin came in.

That was so embarrassing, and terribly awkward.

I raised my hands up to my head pulling on my hair in frustration, I tried to clear my head as I walked inside my office I had to finish my paperwork even if I was unconscious for so long I still need to do my job, and I sure couldn't with him on my mind.

I took my seat then sighed, I looked at the stack of papers in front of me and with on last breath of relaxation I started attacking them. I was signing left and right reading through the words quickly since there were a lot to go through.

Three or so hours past and I was not even half way through, this was gonna be more time consuming than I had originally thought. "Ughhhhh!" I groaned as I leaned back onto my chair letting myself have a small break before having to start again.

'What are you doing?'

His soft words still rang inside my ears. And even though I was alone I could still feel the warmth of his body on mine, I could imagine myself onto his lips. I brought my finger up to my lip slowly.

"What if.. I actually had kissed him..?" I whispered to myself, letting my thoughts wonder in places I know they shouldn't. I couldn't help myself, though I knew for a fact that I did not like him like that.. well that's what I was telling myself, all these years I've been arguing and hating him for pushing me about. He was so cold and self-centred.

But after the past few days I couldn't believe the things I think are true about him, yes he is cold, but even though he has been next to me at my darkest times and that was even before the other day. Now I remember when I lost her, the one I had loved so much, even after she had died and I was completely devastated and with all honesty I had lost the will to go on.

He was there the whole time, even if it was only just sitting in the lunch hall watching me cry my eyes out and an occasional pat on the shoulder. He stayed with me throughout that whole night not even sleeping. I guess I had locked that memory away since only the thought of her used to make me fall over and cry.

She was my first real love after all...

I shook my head trying to get all the negative things out, it's been years since then, and yes I loved her, she is gone now and I couldn't do anything to change that. Plus I know she would want me to not let her death stop me from finding happiness again.

Right when I was about to get back to my papers the door flung open revealing Hange's figure, I jumped at the loud and sudden sound staring at them with poisonous eyes. "What the fuck Hange?!" I said loudly throwing my hands in the air, they had a large grin on their face spread from ear to ear.

Well I'm fucked.

"Hello my beautiful, amazing and absolutely gorgeous Y/n, how are you~" they sang happily as I tried to figure out what was going on inside that messed up mind of theirs, they closed the door then walked to my desk putting both of their arms onto it and leading forward closer to my face. "I little titan told me that~" they got closer to my ear like what they were about to say was top secret. "You and Levi were having a little fun this morning." Their words made me freeze in my seat.

"How do you know that?-" I barely let out a few words from shock, did Erwin tell them no it couldn't or could it...

"AH HA!" They shot up from the table and started to spin around the room in excitement. "So they weren't lying." They said happily with the new thrilling information.

"Wait who were lying? And from where did you find out? Who told you?" I started interrogating them.

"Oh woah, calm down with the questions jeez." They said stopping in the middle of the room staring at me, they pushed up their glasses as their spinning made them slide down, then began. "Well I was walking past Levi's office and kinda heard Erwin shout at him, I was curious so I got closer and well he basically said that Levi shouldn't be kissing you, blah blah, Levi shouldn't take advantage of you, blah blah, Levi you're an asshole, blah blah."

They went on for a bit more but all I could think of was what they meant by Levi taking advantage of me, was he? I mean I was the one who was basically on top of him but.

My train of thoughts along with Hange's blabbering stopped from the sudden knock that came from my door, me and Hange looked at each other then at the door then they walked over to open it. But not even before they could put their hand on the door handle a flung open.

"Jeez what's it with people and slamming my door open without an invitation today." I muttered under my breath with an eye roll not actually paying attention to who had just rudely entered my office. But soon the 'tch', that came from the door frame where someone I hadn't expected to arrive here was, caused for my gaze to lock with his.

My heart stopped beating for a second as I just stared at him and he did the same, all I could think of was this morning. "Hello?" Hange interrupted us as they waved their hands between us, "so shorty," they began with a mischievous smirk spread over their face. "Are you here for another smooch?" They asked while making kissing faces at him which he looked terribly disgusted by.

"HANGE WHAT THE HELL-" I started but couldn't finished because someone cut me short.

"No." His cold voice filled the room making me shiver slightly, he glared at Hange for them to stop with their ridiculous faces then turned to me. "Corporal L/n, Erwin sent me to get you." He said, he had used my last name which I haven't heard him use in a long time, it's always brat or idiot or other names like that.

I nodded as a response not daring to speak, with my approval nod he walked out my room leaving me and Hange in silence. "He seemed a bit weird didn't he?" I asked Hange as I couldn't tell if he actually was acting strange or it was just me imagining things.

"L/n" they repeated his words in a mocking way, "something sure is weird about him, weirder than usual." And as I suspected they agreed with my suspicions, but the real question was why he was acting like this.

________________________________________
[time skip]

I was sat in front of Erwin in one of the chairs facing him, we have been sat in silence ever since I had walked in so I knew he was mad at me. Even though my eyes were anywhere but him, I could tell he was glaring at me. I know why I was here. Because of this morning.

Erwin is like a father to me and I'm like his daughter so him getting worried or upset with me like a parent would wasn't anything out of the blue, though this was the first time he had ever called me into his office and completely ignored me.

He's pissed.

I shifted in my chair under his glare. I stayed silent for a bit more, before I broke the it with shaky words, "soooo," I dragged the 'o' for a few seconds. "What did you want to talk to me about?" I asked though it was obvious I already knew.

"Y/n what the hell was up with you this morning!?" He asked sternly getting straight to the point, "I can't believe it." He kept blabbing on how I knew better and how I shouldn't be doing things like these.

"I know Erwin." I spoke cutting him off.

"It doesn't seem like you do." He raised a thick eyebrow at me.

"Love in the Survey Corps only ends in heartbreak." We both said in sync, he was right so right. That saying we had was so true, most couples in this rotten hell of a place were mostly new and fragile and think they could get through it together. Though in reality they either both die or only one and the other has to live with the heartbreak.

I know the pain of it way too well.

"Y/n," he began again in a more softer and comforting tone than before. "I'm sorry, but I just want to-"

"I don't see him more than a Captain." I cut him short, I didn't want to hear this again. I know he is only looking out for me. He only gave me a sad smile in return as silence fell between us again.

It was true, I didn't see Levi more than a Captain. Well that's what I think anyway. What happened this morning doesn't have any explanation on my part but there's no feelings, none.

Right.

"Well," I cleared my throat and stood up, "if that is all I shall head back, I have a lot if shit to do." I smiled waking away towards the door.

"One more thing Y/n." His words stopped me, I turned my gaze over my shoulder to look at him. "Don't overworked yourself, you're gonna-"

"I know, I know, mom." I rolled my eyes then turned to leave, "I won't, don't worry about me." And with that my foot took a step forward and out the room.

Love in the Survey Corps only ends in heartbreak...

~Erwins pov~

He let a long breath out which he was holding in after you had left, he knew this was wrong keeping you away from Levi romantically, it was selfish of him but he needed to. He promised your mother he will keep you safe after all.

Not even two minutes past and Hange walked in without even a knock, they seemed puzzled. "I just walked past Y/n, she was. She looked upset, what did you two talk about?" They asked concern clear in their voice.

"I... I told her to stay away from Levi." He let out not trying to hide the truth from them. He knew that lying to them won't work, their way too smart to be fooled.

"What!" They exclaimed putting their hands up in irritation, they stood in the middle of the room staring at him. "Erwin you can't just- that's not fair!" They continued lost for words.

"I know Hange." He stopped looking down at his desk. "I know." Hange frowned walking over next to him and placing their hand on his shoulder rubbing their thumb in small circles against it. "I just want to protect her. I swore to... I need to." Hange sighed but still listened to the blondes problem. "I can't let her get hurt again."

Silence fell between them for a while before Hange broke it. "I know you're just trying to protect her, she's like a daughter to you. But Erwin, you can't make her lock her feelings away." They said now leaning against the wooden table. "You know you can't protect her forever, we live in such a horrible place that protecting someone isn't easy."

He knew Hange was right, no matter what he did or said he couldn't protect you forever. "Damn Hange. Why are you so fucking smart." They giggled and he chuckled.

"If you try and keep her away from her feelings it's only going to hurt her more. Having her lock her feelings won't make her happy and that means she won't live to the fullest." They stopped smiling at him. "Let her live. She's going to be ok."

"I suppose you're right." He sighed in defeat. "So what do I do now, I told her not to-"

"Don't worry, love is like a spell. When it comes for you, you can not escape it with bare words." They looked at him with a large ear to ear grin. "So are you on the Y/n and Levi ship?"

"The what now?"

"The Y/n and Levi ship. Me Moblet, Mike, Nifa and a few others are already on the shipping team." They said with confidence.

"Hell why not, I guess I am." They jumped up in joy then stopped.

"Oh right, I just remembered why I was here. Mike was supposed to hand out the documents but his lazy ass sent me." They looked over his desk in search for them.

"Oh, they're over there. There's a lot of them though." He pointed to a small coffee table where he had placed them earlier. "You should ask someone to help you."

"And I know the perfect person to do just that." Their grin got wider if that was even possible.

________________________________________

[Authors note]

Hello hello, I apologise for not posting for the past two weeks I had some mocks so I was busy with that though I am now in half term break yay so I'll be posting more often, hopefully. :D

I hope y'all liked it also sorry for any mistakes there were a lot in the last one so that's why I had to repost.

I hope y'all have a good day or night.

Vote plz :).