~

I watched as birds flew by my window singing beautiful melodies, trees dancing along with them; small petals along with leaves were carried off by the wind taken away over the walls. It's been six hours since I had woken up, and after an hour or so long of Erwin's lecture on how reckless I had been; he had finally left to get himself ready for his trip to the inner wall, for his meeting with the Commanders of the Military and Garrison regiment along with some other rich pigs.

Hange checked my wounds not so long ago before leaving me alone again, Levi didn't say anything he left without anyone noticing, which was for some reason giving me this empty feeling inside my chest, he probably had a lot of work left to do and reports to finish.

I sigh turning back to my bed, it's once tidy sheets were now all crumbled up on one side of it. I wonder what all the others are doing and if we had any injuried besides myself. My thoughts were interrupted by the door opening, I looked over meeting beautiful hazel green eyes glittering with joy, I held my gaze and gave him a smile which he returned.

"Look who decided to finally wake up." He said with his usual sarcastic self that I've missed so much. I've had a lot of work and stuff to do, along with meetings to attend. I hadn't been able to see him or joke with him for a while.

"Yeah, yeah Alden, look who's talking. All you do is sleep." I say rolling my eyes at him, placing my good arm on my hip and leaning back on one leg. He chuckled as he walked closer to me.

Alden has been my friend ever since the first day of me starting this hell hole of a job, we both got in trouble with Commander Shadis on our first day of the training regimen, and after that we hit it off pretty well. He has been there for every moment in these seven years of my life, he was there for the good parts; where we would get all drunk and do stupid shit like take the horses out and go for a late night ride, or when we went to town and stole bread since we both spent our money on any other thing but food.

And he was also there when I first lost a squad mate, or one of my cadets to those monsters. Though we are close and people sometimes suspect us of being a thing we aren't and will never be. We both see each other as family; he is like my brother, a caring one who doesn't envy you for something you can not control, one who loves me for me and doesn't fake his affection in front of people.

"You scared the shit out if me, everyone thought you were going to die you dumbass." He whispered as his hug tightened, I hugged him back holding him as close as I could his warmth bringing a soft relief feeling inside my chest.

"A stupid hit on the head and a few scratches can't kill me" I say releasing from the hug and standing up in a jokingly strong pose, "I'm unbeatable!" He chuckled at my pose and I joined in. We talked for a bit before he had to go back to whatever he had to do.

"You know, the really strange and honestly surprising thing is that Levi was the one who basically took care of you while you were unconscious." He stated making me raise an eyebrow at his words, Levi taking care of someone that's new.

"What do you mean by 'took care of me'?" I question confused.

"Exactly what I said." He paused for a second looking over to the bed side-table that still had the tea cups on it. "He made sure you were breathing properly and moved your body around so your blood could flow around your body. He also whipped you down to wash you." I blushed when he said the last part. "He stayed here the whole time while you were asleep, I don't think he went to any meetings."

I was shocked Levi isn't the type to skip out of meetings, even though it's clear they annoy him he wouldn't just not go. "Damn.." I had no words, I was purely shocked and confused on why he would go to a such extent to make sure I was ok.

"Anyway I should head back now, Corporal Michie would probably kill me if he catches me here." He said getting up from the end of the bed where he was sat and heading for the door, he turned around smiling at me. "See ya." He said before leaving.

"Bye bye..." I muttered but he had already walked out, I looked back at the window hundred of thoughts rushing through my head like someone late for work, though the only one I could focus on was Levi.

How could someone care so much, but be so cold?

________________________________________
[time skip]

I was sat on my bed with a needle and thread in one hand and my white jeans on the other, they were the jeans that I had on when that I don't know what pierced my thigh. And though I do have like three other pairs since the Commander isn't an actual monster and provided us with plenty, specially the women got extra since we do get accidents from time to time. I did still have the urge to fix them besides that fact.

I was humming a melody that my mother used to sing to me when I was little; she would sing this when I was sad or scared, or when I couldn't sleep. I miss her a lot, though I do see her every month that still isn't enough.

My attention soon directed towards the soft knock on my door, the familiar rhythm echoed throughout the room letting me know who it was. I walked over and opening the door to be greeted with kind blue eyes, like two blue sapphire crystals shining through glass begging for them to be bought.

"Hello." I greeted with a smile which he returned, "what brings you here at such a time?" I say looking him up and down; he had his Scout uniform on all cleaned up, he looked so handsome. His green cape covered over his chest down to his waist hiding him away. I stepped back to let him in, once he was inside I closed the door and turned to look at him.

"Well I should be off, I just needed to check on you to see if you're ok." He spoke so softly to me, the candle light hit the side of his head making his hair glow a golden glint. "How are you feeling?" He questioned pointing to my arm, I do admit I liked it when he worried like this knowing he cared made me all warm inside.

"I'm ok don't worry." I say rubbing my arm to show him I was ok. I walked over to my bed and sat back down as I knew he was going to give me a lecture again, but instead of a lecture he began to speak softly looking at my cloths.

"I'm surprised you're wearing them." He was referring to my pyjamas that he had gotten me for my birthday a few years back.

"Why wouldn't I? You did by it for me to wear, didn't you?" I gave him a small smirk as he laughed at me.

"I remember coming back from town and thinking it wasn't good enough, Levi was surprised at how beautiful they were." He stated he never actually told me that, and I didn't expect for Levi to be in this untold story of his.

He looked over at the letters places on my vanity, "how's your mother?" he asked still looking away from me.

"Oh she's doing alright." I say, "she picked up knitting and said that she was planning on making you something as well." My eyes glance at the letters, "she said she would like for you and I to visit her sometime." I giggle at her request.

"Then we shall." He said turning to me but as fast as his eyes landed on mine as soon they shifted to a different object, his eyes landed on a pencil drawing I did of the four of us. "Maybe we can bring Levi and Hange." I smiled at the thought.

"Hange would probably try to recruit my mother for their experiments." I laughed and he chuckled along. "That's true." Was his response. Silence fell between us once more, I looked down at my hands waiting for him to finally speak.

"Have you had any more nightmares lately?" He asked with genuine concern, I shook my head as an answer. Obviously it was lie, I knew if I told him the truth he would cancel his leave and stay here; he has already delayed his leave by two weeks if it keeps up his position might be taken away, I can't let that happen.

"Ok well, if anything happens you know Hange is right down the hall, they probably will be awake doing their titan research so if you need them that's where you'll find them. Also I've restocked your tea so if you need it it's in it's usual place,"

"Erwin,"

"Also don't stay up too late you're going be too tired,"

"Erwin."

"And make sure you have your covers over you so you don't catch a cold. Oh also be careful when you walk out through the corridors you might fall and-"

"Erwin!" Interrupted him, getting up. "I'll be fine ok, don't worry I'm not a child I can take care of myself." I reassured him with a smile. He sighed realising what he was just doing, he smiled back at me rapping his arms around my body in a hug.

"I love you Y/n." He said hugging me tighter and I returned his gesture.

"I love you too."

________________________________________
[tw sa]

My whole body felt stiff as if I was paralysed, I looked around but couldn't figure out where I was. It was all so dark, no light no nothing. It felt like I was in a void, no walls, no doors just me and the darkness.

I looked around trying to find something, anything. My eyes stopped when I came across a chair, though everything was pitch black the chair was clearly visible; it was a rich red velvet chair that had gold handles and legs, it's back had a beautiful flower frame made of the same gold colour as the legs and handles.

I got up and walked over and as if it was pure instinct I sat down, I felt like I was glued to it my body refused to get up. "What the hell!?!" I cursed out but nothing happened, I looked around in the blackness the absence of light made me even more scared.

I couldn't get up and there was no one here to help me, I didn't know where I was and why I was here. I felt a frustrated tear roll down my cheek and falling onto my thigh. "Oh no, don't cry." My head shot up at the voice, I looked around but there was no one there.

"The fuck!?" I shouted.

"No need for such language. I'm right here, princess." My eyes widen at the nickname that I've hadn't heard in so long, and wished I never did. My eyes finally focused on his figure that was coming closer and closer, he wore the same thing that he did on that terrifying night.

"Xenos..."

"Did you miss me?" He was now in front of me with a ear to ear smirk; his white shirt was completely unbuttoned as I remembered, he had black shorts on, with his hands inside the pockets.

"Why are you here..? Where am I?" I through questions at him but he didn't answer, instead he got closer until there was only a few inches separating our faces. He leaned closer and though as much as I wanted him to get off I could protest, I was unable to push him away or to scream.

I felt one of his hands on my lower back while the other in between my thighs, it was happening again the same thing as that night. He forced his tongue inside my mouth, his hands started to unbutton my red pyjama shirt revealing my bare chest. Tears started spilling out my eyes in desperation.

He touched me everywhere, just like that time the same way. His mouth left mine but as much as I wanted to yell or scream for someone to help I couldn't, it was like I was screaming but without sound.

I wanted him to stop, I never wanted him to touch me or kiss me. I wanted someone to save me. I wanted to save myself but I couldn't. I was useless.

Weak.

Pathetic.

____

I shot up covering my mouth with my hand tears flooding my vision, my heart raced inside my chest pounding against my rips threatening to jump out.

"It was... a dream..." bringing my legs up to my chest, my head fell onto them tears rolling down my bare thighs down to my red silky pyjama shorts. My body was shaking all over, and my thoughts were filled with flashbacks of that night.

I hadn't had these kind of nightmares in so long, though my whole body was in panic mode; my heart racing along with my thoughts, my stomach folding into itself. I felt so numb. I couldn't tell if it was because I was scared out of my mine that my emotions shutdown, or that I truly was not able to find an emotion to describe this feeling.

That's when that horrifying intrusive thought settled inside my head; like a log of wood that was thrown over the hungry flame, going mad over it swaying and devouring every piece. Demolishing it. But soon calming down, waiting for the next.

What if... I was gone.

What if my story ended right here and now.

I felt eyes one me and a sudden crash outside my widow made my body jolt up to my feet. I grabbed my small rag doll placing it close to my chest, then another similar sound followed as I stepped back. I don't know if it was me imagining things but I swear there was some sort of figure outside, it's body seemed slim and it was bent over itself.

My heart stopped, and by instinct I opened the door and started walking down the hallway. I didn't know where I was headed, I didn't know what I was doing to be honest. I just needed to get away.

I need to live.. for mother.

I walked to I don't know where, my arms rapped around the rag doll hopeful for protection. Soon I found myself in front of a door, my knees where shaking and everything felt like it was spinning in circles, I hesitantly knocked on the door.

"What the hell-" his figure appeared instead of the door, it was dark so I couldn't see him properly but I knew who it was and I was glad it was him. I felt as my knees got weaker and weaker threatening of giving up. "Tch, what do u want brat?" He asked but I didn't answer feeling myself lose my balance, I brought my arm instinctively to support me leaning it against the frame of the door.

"Oi what's wrong." His voice sounded more concerned now. Tears kept falling down my face uncontrollably as my body shivered.

I needed him.

"Levi... I need you.." His name fell out my mouth without me intending to, but at this point I was too terrified to care.

____

~Levi pov~

He heard his name being called by you for the first time and for some unknown reason his heart began to race a little faster than usual.

'Levi I need you.'

Your words replied over and over in his mind forgetting everything else for a minute, but as you lost balance his conscious came back. He instantly wrapped his arms around you to refrain you of falling over. He let out a small 'tch' leading you inside his room closing the door with his foot, he placed you gently on his bed standing up in before you with his hands cross over his chest.

"What happened brat?" He questioned you after you have calmed down, suspicious of why you were outside the door at such an hour. You wiped your tears on your sleeve, taking a deep breath before speaking "I.. had a nightmare." Your words were muttered by your sleeve though he heard every single one of them perfectly.

"And because eyebrows isn't here you decided to camp outside my door?" He says sarcastically walking over to his chair and sitting down, though his response wasn't very comforting you found yourself relaxing. "Do you mind me asking what it was about?" Levi found himself asking, he was in the type to care about anyone specially about these kind of things, but his curiosity was greater than his ego.

You didn't respond though, instead you fidgeted with a rag doll that was placed on your lap. Levi I gave up, he didn't want to force you to speak if you didn't want to, instead of pursuing the answer he picked up the book that was on a small table next to the chair and began to read.

"It was about something from my past." You spoke suddenly grabbing Levi's attention with your words, he placed his finger on the page he was on and closed it on his lap. "I was in a black room, with chair and a man.." you stopped feeling the tears building up behind your eyes again, "he was..." you couldn't say anymore.

"You're safe here." You picked up your head towards him from his words, he forced himself not to smile even though you wouldn't be able to see it anyway because of the poor lighting. "It was a dream and now you're here, with me. I won't let anything happen."

You didn't reply but it was clear to him his words meant everything to you. "Go to sleep." He said pointing to his bed suggesting for you to lay down, without another word you placed your head onto his pillow; the aroma of lemons and lavender rushed inside your nose.

A few minutes past but you still couldn't find yourself being able to fall back asleep, "I can't sleep.." you mattered not intending him to hear it. He got up walking closer to the wardrobe, picking up a small bottle and walking closer to you. "Here." He extended his hand to you, his fingers rested on the rim of the glass bottle. You raised your hand taking it carefully.

"What is it?" You question but he just walked back to his chair sitting back down, he watched how you fiddled with it before your mouth let out a few words, "lavender oil.."

"Put some under your nose, it will help you to relax." He said as he looked at your figure; you unscrewed the lid placing your finger inside, then rubbing the oil between your upper lip and nose. You closed it and placed it on the side-table next to the bed. He watched you laying back down cuddling with the old rag doll.

"What's with the doll?" He said as you looked up at him.

"My mother gave it to me a long time ago." Your simple answer was enough to satisfy him, he looked back down at his book reading out the words.

"Her spirit was high, though not rough,-"

"What?" He was interrupted by your soft tired voice.

"I'm reading to you, idiot." He paused bringing his hand up to his hair, his fingers brushing it back. "It might help you fall asleep, ok?"

"Oh ok." You say waiting for him to continue. He read so softly bringing the sleep that you thought you lost back to you. Your eyes felt heavy as his words faded slowly.

"Her love never fierce, it was deep and tender." Those were the last words you heard before sleep took over you.

________________________________________

[Authors note]

Helloooooo i actually like this chapter tho it could be better it's alright, I do think Levi would read you to bed it's just a soft thing he would do. Anywho I apologise for any mistakes I was rushing through it so yk, but I hope y'all like it.

Stay safe and have a good day/night.

Vote plz.