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"Y/n."

"Y/n."

"Y/n!"

I snapped my head to the direction of the voice that called me out of the bad memory. My eyes met stern blue ones, I held his gaze for a second.

"Are you alright. You seem distracted." Erwin said in a low voice. Even though he was annoyed and it was clear, his voice held a bit of worry as he watched my disturbed expression.

"Yes sir, I'm very sorry." I averted my gaze down to my lap, though the Commander's eyes still remained on me.

"Tch, if your nonsense thoughts are more important than this I think you should leave brat. You don't seem interested anyway." A cold voice came from in front of me, I didn't even have to look up since I already knew who it was. My hands clenched into fists. My blood boiled at his words, can't he just shut his shit eating mouth up for once.

I tried my best to let it go, arguing with a Corporal especially in front of the Commander will only bring me more frustration, I know from past experience.

"Levi, please." Erwin said in hopes to prevent a fight from starting. He had enough of our bickering.

"She isn't suited for this responsibility, to be honest eyebrows I don't even know why you gave her this position in the first place." Levi continued not budging at the Commanders pleads.

"Levi-"

"Oh yeah, you clean goblin, I think I'm doing a better job at this than you ever will!" I say in a loud tone cutting Erwin of. I know this is a bad idea, but when did I ever listen to anyone or myself.

"You little shit!..." Levi was talking but the only thing I heard was those three words.

You little shit.

I tried to compose myself, and not to show how his words affected me, even though they shouldn't have in the first place. It's just a phrase people use all the time, but for some reason it just got me. It was like I was re-living that moment again. Being told off for being disrespectful, for not following orders. I felt stuck. Like I did then. Every time he said that to me as a kid, every time he got violent with me. It was all playing on loop in my head, and I surrendered... like I used to do back then.

I apologise sir.

"I apologise sir."

I didn't mean to be disrespectful sir.

"I didn't mean to be disrespectful sir."

I won't repeat my mistake again sir.

"I won't repeat my mistake again sir."

Back then this was where he would hit me. But it didn't happen now. He wasn't here anymore to do those things, because of me.

Because I ended him.

I looked up to see everyone staring at me with confused and worried faces, like I had something stuck on my face or something. My eyes widen when I realised I said that out loud.

Levi looked at me weird as well, it wasn't the same as everyone else. His face was emotionless but his eyes where telling me something else. They didn't look like worry or confusion or any kind of emotion I could think of to describe what his eyes shown, but they weren't emotionless.

My eyes met Erwin's and he nodded at me. " Alright well, that's all for today if you have any other questions regarding this you may come see me later today. You are all dismissed." He finished watching everyone get up but Captain Levi and me. "Corporal Y/n please stay back." He said in a stern tone, and then looked at Corporal Levi signalling for him to leave as well.

Levi remained in his seat, arms crossed over his chest with a poker face.

"Levi please," Erwin pointed to the door with his hand, he earned a 'tch' out of Levi before he got up and left. The blonde sighed at me when everyone was gone, I was still sat in the same position; my hands on my lap and my eyes looking at them.

"Y/n..." he began in a soft voice letting me know he wasn't gonna go off at me. "Did you have one of your flashbacks." All I could do was nod, I couldn't even look him in the eye. "It's ok, you are not in danger, you're here with me. You're ok." A tear fell down on my white knuckles at his soft words.

Commander Erwin was the only one that knew about what happened to me all those years back, he helped me through my bad memories and flashbacks. Sometimes even comforted me after nightmares, just like a caring father would. He knew about all the terrible things I did, but he still believed in me. He wasn't afraid of me. He understood I had no other choice but to do what I did. Erwin gave me hope and showed me that he is on my side, he gave me deserved praise.

"I'm sorry I was spacing out, and I didn't mean to be rude by disrupting you." I say looking at him with glossy eyes. He gave me a soft smile, which I returned with one of my own.

"It's ok, but it's not just me you should apologise to." He said and I knew exactly what he meant. I didn't want to apologise to that asshole but I had too.

Stupid men.

________________________________________

[time skip]

A dark wooden door stood before me, on the wall next to it was a metal board with the words Corporal Levi carved into it. I was supposed to apologise for how 'disrespectful' I was towards him which if it wasn't for Erwin I wouldn't have done it. But here I am, standing here like an idiot. I've been doing paperwork all day and only found time now to come and see the Captain. Yes it was late, but better late than never right, plus he should be grateful that I'm doing this anyway.

I straighten myself and raised my hand that held a slight shaking to it, I brought it up to the door but my hand wouldn't go further, it was stuck. A tight feeling weld up in my chest.

Am I nervous?

I haven't been here in a while, the last time I had to come see him in his office was when I was still a cadet. Back then I was a trouble maker, I was young and was just trying to live my best life even if I was trapped in this terrifying cage of a world. I've always been the kind of person to make others feel better, and me doing stupid things to make others feel ok was the only thing I could come up with, though someone didn't like that idea.

I took a deep breath, and finally build up the courage to knock.

"Name, and business." A firm but clearly tired voice came from the other side, his usual greeting which normally would be more irritated was now more drained. My face slightly dropped with a slight sadness as I listened to his voice. "Tch, are you gonna answer or leave!" He got a bit pissed from me ignoring him.

"Sorry sir, it's Corporal Y/n sir, I would like to speak with you." I say and entered when I heard a faint 'come in'. My back was against the door as my eyes looked around examining the room. It was dim since the only light source was a small candle that was placed on the large office table, papers were stacked on both sides along with books and the map from the meeting we had this morning. Captain Levi was sat on his chair with pen in his right hand and a piece of paper in the other.

On his right was a small red couch that could sit two people, along with a coffee table that had a small tea set for decoration. On the left was a large bookshelf that was placed across the whole wall. Three plants where on the right left and middle of the bookshelf. The long maroon curtains covered the large window behind him.

He was still looking down at his work, his raven hair dangled gently onto his forehead, his lips where making a line and his eyebrows where knitted together as he was focusing on what was in front of him. He didn't look up nor did he say anything. I made my way to the two chairs in front of his desk and sat down in one of them, which grabbed his attention. Thought his eyes didn't leave his paperwork.

"Go on spit it out already. Tch, I don't have all night." His voice was low, the exhaustion was clear but he still held his poker face. I remained silent though, if I need to apologise at least he can look at me while I do so. He lifted his head with a annoyed expression on his face, clearly he didn't like it when people didn't answer him.

"I'm just going to say it, sir I apologise for this morning. It wasn't my place to be rude and disturb everyone from the meeting, it wasn't right of me to talk back and continue the argument. I'm sorry for acting weird as well I don't know what came over me. I apologise for my rudeness sir." I say looking him directly in his eyes, those eyes always fascinated me. They held so much pain but it was so hard to see it, his eyes held the most tragic and also beautiful story. His face is so hard to read always with no true emotion, but his eyes held something more than just irritation and anger, though I do not know his story I wish one day I will learn it.

"Did eyebrows send you." He said seeing right through me.

"What no!" I say defending myself but as much as I wished for him to believe me he didn't. I sigh, " fine maybe he did probably make me come here..." I looked down away from him and his glare. "But I am sorry, I truly am." I said with confidence looking back at him, his face didn't change.

"Tch whatever, I don't care now if you are done, leave." He said more like demanding me than asking me to leave. All I could do was sigh and head out, while he returned to his work.

This is so annoying.

He is so annoying.

________________________________________

Author notes~
I hope u guys liked this :D if there is any mistakes plz feel free to correct me. Have a good night or day :)

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