When Trish stepped out of the terminal in Boston, she instantly felt the cold air. Growing up in upstate New York she was used to harsh winters. Years in Connecticut spoiled her. Obviously it was New England, but it didn't snow in feet every other day. Perhaps that was an exaggeration. Living around the corner from the hospital, it didn't matter how much it snowed, Trish could make the trudge.

Trish resented the cold because it erased the warmth she soaked up on the island. She also regretted not bringing her winter coat as she waited for a cab wearing her Yale hoodie. What would Mick think about her alma mater? They hadn't discussed their education. She didn't want to talk about the grueling training she was getting a break from. He thought she worked in the restaurant business. She chuckled thinking of his questions. He asked if she noticed they had served the red wine in white wine glass. She had because Olivia Steele was a meticulous hostess. He made another comment about a server balancing five plates and asked if she could do that. She laughed and suggested he try since his hands were bigger.

The simple gesture of holding hands with Mick had been healing. She wished their platonic friendship could continue. Every day she hoped he would change his mind and call the resort, but her room phone never rang.

Ironically, she couldn't get rid of Candy. She battered Trish with questions about her Uncle Mick. Was he really married?

Trish told a tale of his wife's mother hating Mick. "The woman is sick. Kidney failure and needs a transplant. So Mick's wife insisted on bringing the kids to see their grandmother for Christmas."

"Kids! He has kids!"

"Clara and Eli." She smiled thinking of his friend's baby and her friends' son.

"I can't believe him. Sick wife. Kids. He's a bastard."

"It's his mother-in-law who is sick. He's my favorite uncle. He came here with me because I got dumped."

"Came here? He said he lived here. She's getting a kidney in Cartagena?"

The woman yelled. Trish hoped there weren't any Colombian doctors on the beach, and was sure the doctors took pride in their work.

Trish laughed. "He doesn't live in Colombia. He flew home."

Candy tried to pry where he was from, but Trish refused to make it up, since she didn't know. It would have been so easy to say Boston. What she regretted most was she and Mick could never have a laugh over the story she spun.

She finally slid into a warm cab and told the driver her address. He said, "You look like you were somewhere warm."

"Colombia."

"I'm Colombian!"

Smiling, she spoke Spanish and told him about the island. The ride flew by as they carried on a conversation in his native tongue. When she stepped out with her bag, she said, "Gracious."

His eyes were glossy as he said, "Gracious. Gracious."

She entered her small apartment smiling. It was the small gestures that made a difference in people's lives.

On New Year's Eve, Trish had forgotten she had a vacation. She felt like a resident again as she covered surgical consults in the ER. It was one am when she returned to her apartment. Trish had been in post-op when the ball dropped. She hadn't performed any surgeries, but the attendings left their patients to the fellows and residents once they closed. On the short walk she could hear revelers' shouts. "Happy fucking New Year!" a voice said.

"My thoughts exactly," she replied to the cold air.

Her mind wandered to Mick and wondered if he went to bed early. Then she thought about her first New Year's as a resident. New Haven was always crazy, so she didn't return home until two am. When she climbed in bed, Joey stirred. She kissed him and he flipped her on her back.

After they made love, he told her how much he missed her.

"I know. I missed you too."

He kissed her. "It'll be worth it."

She believed their love was strong enough to get them through. First there were the minor arguments. One or both were always cranky when they saw each other. She was working in a high pressure environment and living on zero sleep. Although she wasn't a pioneer, she was always proving herself as a woman. There were too many men in the field and some didn't think a woman had what it took. She proved them all wrong.

Joey always knew she wanted to be a doctor. As she stepped into the shower after her long night she remembered Mrs. Bertucci's level 4 biology class. Sixteen-year-old Trish's lab partner, Sarah P let her do all the work. There were four Sarahs in their grade. At the lab station, next to them was Joey Murphy and Michael D. There were five Michaels and she thought of Mick who also had the most popular name for many decades. Michael D was by far the hottest guy in their tenth grade class of ninety-two. They lived in a small town where everyone knew each other. Joey, who took the assignment more seriously than Michael, looked frustrated.

Feeling sorry for him, Trish stepped over to help. She really wanted to brush up against Michael, but she was not delusional to think he would like a girl like her. She was the brain not the beauty and was in the running for valedictorian with Levi Rosenthal. It was Joey who suggested he and Sarah switch partners. Sarah agreed readily because who wouldn't want to be close to Michael. Except Joey smiled at her, and when she saw his beautiful blue eyes, she forgot all about Michael.

The next day, he stopped at her locker and asked if she wanted to get an ice cream with him. It was their first date. She remembered telling him she wanted to be a doctor.

He smiled and said, "I'll watch the kids while you save people."

Trish laughed at him, but ten years later as a married couple that had been their plan. Unfortunately, Joey couldn't handle her schedule. Even though he worked an easy forty hour job, he broke to the pressure of her residency. At the end he blamed her, but he was the one who started sleeping with his coworker. Her marriage fell apart around her and she couldn't stop it. Instead, she doubled down and accepted two more years for the pediatric fellowship.

She thought of the boy who told her he loved her on Christmas, just three months after their first ice cream. He proposed by the tree when they were twenty-two and they were married two years later on December twenty-sixth.

Trish could have skipped the pediatric fellowship and forgiven his affair to save her marriage, but Joey refused to end it with the other woman and go to counseling to repair the damage. In the end, he didn't love her enough.

The tears fell in the shower, and it was hard to stop loving the man she had loved since she was sixteen. She cried after Mick left, but a big part of it was the date, her anniversary. As much as he saved her Christmas, she had to face her memories alone. Being out of the country prevented her from sending a text. Why couldn't she truly hate him? He had a new wife and a child. It was supposed to be her. The guilt lay heavy on her. Maybe if she took the three-year family practice residency, they would have been happily married.

Trish woke groggily and made it to the hospital early for six am rounds. The new year was the year she would finally start practicing. She smiled when she saw a text on her phone. Max wished her Happy New Year. She pictured him across town scaring a group of residents as he did his rounds. Maybe he would tell a few jokes.

By the time her rounds were over, she had a text from his wife Olivia asking when her next night off was. Come for dinner so we can hear about your trip.

Trish wouldn't tell them about Mick. It was pointless. He was a memory like the warmth and gorgeous vistas. As she looked at their picture, her phone started buzzing. The liver they had been waiting on had arrived. One family had a new year's miracle, and another didn't. Transplants reminded her it took the darkest hour for a miracle to occur.

After a successful transplant, Trish made it home before nine and called her sister. "How was your vacation?" Diana asked.

"What vacation? It's a faded memory."

Diana sighed loudly. "I saw him."

"You told me. At church."

"No, I ran into him at Dunkin. I went for donuts for the kids." Trish shut her eyes. He loved Dunkin coffee. "He wasn't alone."

"So. We know he's married." She imagined him with a different band on his finger.

"He was with Jonathan."

His brother. Trish's heart ached for the family she lost. "So."

"He asked about you."

"What did you tell him?"

She would prefer they thought she was working through Christmas rather than on a vacation alone.

"Just that you are almost done with your fellowship. Joey's head whipped around. I don't think he knew. I said to him, she knows how to cut hearts out."

"You didn't!" Trish smiled. She didn't do heart transplants. Her expertise was livers.

"He walked out. Jonathan just shook his head and said he's a fucking idiot. Then he told me to say hi to you."

Trish felt the tears. "Do me a favor and never mention him to me ever again. I'm done!"

"I didn't tell you the best part."

"He tripped and broke his nose and spilled his coffee."

Diana laughed. "No, Jonathan is moving to Boston."

"What's so good about that?"

"He can say hi to you himself."

Her ex brother-in-law was coming to her city. Jonathan had been her friend and brother until Joey ripped him away from her.

Diane kept repeating her name until a knock at her door made her jump. "I have to go."

For a moment she thought it was Jonathan outside her door. She walked over on shaky legs and opened it to see Jocelyn on the other side.

"I thought I heard you home. How was your vacation?"

Jocelyn lived next door, and the two had become friends. She had an established career in the HR department at Beth Israel, one of the other hospitals in the Longwood Medical area.

"It was relaxing. How was Christmas?"

"Good. Typical family stuff. I met a guy."

Jocelyn fell in love every other week. Most were residents and doctors who came into her office. If a guy bought her a drink or said hello, she was in love. It humored Trish, but it also annoyed her. Love was years of commitment. Still Jocelyn liked Trish and her friend count was too small to be picky.

Trish laughed. "Where?"

"In line trying to get into the club on New Year's Eve."

"Are you going to see him again?"

She smiled. "If he calls. How were the guys in paradise?"

Trish thought of Mick. Jocelyn would instantly fall for him. She smiled. "It was a family resort, so most weren't single. There was one nice guy, but he hooked up with someone else."

"Too bad. You deserve to find love."

"I had my true love and let it get away." Jocelyn knew she was divorced, but not the ugly details.

"You'll find another. Everlasting love is out there for both of us."

Trish loved her optimism but didn't believe love lasted. If Joey could fall out of love, then anyone could.

Trish remembered the day their acceptance letters came into their inboxes. Joey didn't have the grades for the ivy leagues. Trish applied to Yale, Brown, Dartmouth, and Harvard. Her fall back schools were Tufts and BU. Joey applied to one college near every school she applied to including BU, except Dartmouth because there were no universities close enough.

"Not Dartmouth," he pleaded with her.

"Let's see what happens." She was nervous she wouldn't get into any of her top choices. She was still competing for Valedictorian. "Open yours first."

Looking back, her feelings were the same as the excitement and nervousness of match day which happened eight years later.

Joey had acceptances from the University of Rhode Island and Quinnipiac in Connecticut. BU had waitlisted him. Trish's hands sweated. It meant Harvard was out, unless they wanted to be apart. She opened it first and her heart lurched. Accepted. She opened Brown next, and her heart went thud. Not accepted. It all rested on Yale.

"I can't do it." She pointed to the mouse on the computer and closed her eyes.

Joey turned her face, and she opened to see his eyes gazing at her. "I love you so much. It will be okay. Providence is close enough to Boston. This won't break us. Nothing can ever break us. I am going to be a doctor's husband." He kissed her and when his lips slowly pulled away, he turned and clicked the mouse. A smile crossed his face. "We're going to Connecticut."

For four years, Joey drove his old car twenty minutes to see her and study with her. When he graduated, he found a job in New Haven and she started med school. They had their life planned out. He even supported her surgery track with its intense five-year residency. If she had it to do over would she have given up the career she wanted to keep Joey? Life didn't come with a crystal ball or a do-over.

Looking at naïve Jocelyn she scoffed, "Everlasting love doesn't exist."

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