Trish paced her apartment nervously. She wanted to climb in bed and forget about going out. She feared a lot of things including an ambush.

Jonathan Murphy had tried to get her to agree to have dinner for months, but her schedule was an easy excuse. Trish finally agreed after he texted, come on I won't bite. The problem was she had loved Jonathan as a brother.

Joey's older brother had a successful finance career. When they were in New Haven, he worked in Manhattan. It was common for Trish to come home from the library and later the hospital to find Jonathan crashing for the weekend. It was a win-win because he kept Joey entertained. After having a drink with them, Trish would yawn and head to bed. Joey always followed her and they would make love before she nodded off.

A promotion sent Jonathan to London, so his weekend visits ended. Looking back, Trish wondered if her marriage would have survived if Jonathan had stayed in New York.

With a sigh, she knew she had to leave or she would be very late. They were meeting at the Haymarket Station to go to an Italian restaurant in the North End. As she rode the green line to Haymarket, she considered getting out at every stop and going back home. Instead, she took out her phone and scrolled through her photos. The sunset and beach shots from the island facilitated relaxing meditation. When she scrolled too far, she stared at the photo of her and Mick together. He was a gorgeous man, but also a kind friend. Maybe they had been stupid not to exchange info. She assumed he was home in The States somewhere, but the question was where.

When the train pulled into Haymarket, she forced herself to stand and step off. The crowd moved up, and she followed it. Once on the sidewalk outside of the station, she looked around. It was a warm summer evening, which reminded her of Colombia. A tall man walked to her, and she froze lost in time. There was no question the two were brothers.

Jonathan closed the gap quickly with a smile on his face. "You look great! Still eighteen."

She chuckled. "Don't lie."

"Trish, I've missed you." Without warning, he hugged her.

Feeling awkward and oddly comforted, she gave in to the reunion for a few moments before pulling back. "So, um, no more London?"

"Nope."

"I expected you to come home with an English wife."

He shook his head. "I'm not sure I believe in marriage."

"Ha! That makes two of us."

He frowned. "I promised myself I wouldn't say anything, but I have to."

"What?" She suspected she wouldn't like it.

"I was so fucking pissed at him. I'm still not happy. He was an idiot, and I'm sorry but she's a bitch. None of us like her."

Hearing awful things about her replacement should make her smile, but it felt like the first cut of the scalpel with only topical anesthesia.

"It doesn't matter if you like her, he obviously loves her more than he ever loved me."

"Impossible. He was lonely and stupid and fell into her trap. I told him to wait it out and things would get better, but he didn't listen to me."

They had reached Hanover Street and walked into the unique Italian neighborhood. Tears threatened to erupt as her heart ached. "I knew I should have stayed home."

He took her hand and squeezed it. "No. We were friends for a long time. He had no right to push you away from me, um, us."

"I lost a lot with the divorce."

He shook his head. "I should have come home and banged your heads together."

"I wondered if things would have been different, if you stayed in New York."

"I would have made sure he didn't screw it up."

She sighed. "I'm not blameless. My career."

"Has been your dream since the day he brought you home. He gave up."

It felt good to have someone vocalize the blame she put on Joey. "None of it matters. It's over. He could divorce her and crawl back to me and I would never take him back."

"Good. I'm glad. You deserve better."

"I am dedicated to my work."

"Are you finally done with fellowships?"

"Yes. I'm an attending on the transplant team."

"That's quite an achievement."

She shrugged. "I traded a marriage for more specialized training. Maybe if I hadn't gone for surgery."

"Who knows? Just like if I was around. All I know is Joey threw you away after he vowed to support and love you."

"Just press harder on the scalpel."

He had stopped in front of a restaurant. "Sorry. Is this okay? I promise not to talk about him."

Trish wondered what they would talk about. Joey was always their common thread. She nodded, and he motioned for her to go first.

Jonathan stepped to the host stand. "Reservation for Murphy."

"I thought we would have to wait for a table."

He shook his head. "I asked a coworker for a recommendation and he told me it's always crowded."

"What did you say you needed a restaurant for your ex sister-in-law?" He shook his head and smiled. She gasped. "This isn't a date!"

"I know, but a guy needs to save face."

"I'm sure you can get a date every night of the week if you want one."

They sat at a small table with a flickering candle. Trish looked around and imagined it would be a nice date restaurant, but Jonathan was Joey's brother. She concentrated on the menu so she didn't have to make conversation.

"So it was nice seeing Diana."

"Yeah. She told me after my vacation."

"Vacation. I assumed you were working over Christmas."

She shook her head. "No, that town is too small for me so I went away."

"He was in a bad mood after we saw her."

Trish put her menu down. "I can't do this. It's natural for you to talk about him, but I can't. I'd like to say I'm strong and over my past, but it's still a struggle. So I'm going to go home."

Jonathan grabbed her wrist. "Please stay. I'm sorry."

She sighed. "Fine, tell me what you've done since you moved to Boston."

After he mentioned things, he would ask, have you? Each time she had to say no. She never strolled through the public garden or Harvard Square, or the Stewart Gardner Museum or Fenway Park.

"I've eaten at the North End before. I've also tried a Moroccan restaurant in Charlestown."

"On dates?"

She shook her head. "With my mentor from when I was in New Haven and his wife. I have a neighbor who I hang out with, but we typically get take out and drink some wine." She does Trish usually doesn't.

"You're too young to not enjoy life."

She shrugged. "My hours are better since the end of June, but rounds are still early and surgeries last for hours."

"I stay late during the week but enjoy my weekends."

The server came by and they each ordered an entrée. When he left, she asked, "Do you still workout?"

"I go to the gym in the morning. See I get up early too."

"How was living in London?"

"It was exciting, but very different. I traveled a lot. I saw Stonehenge and castles, and went to Scotland and Dublin and France."

"Sounds exciting. I have a friend who lived in Colombia for two years. He told me about the challenges of living and working in a foreign country."

"They speak English in London, but I didn't understand half of their phrases."

"He's fluent in Spanish."

"You were good at Spanish."

"I still speak it whenever I can." She talked to Spanish-speaking employees at the hospital.

When their food came, the conversation stalled, so Trish concentrated on her meal. Jonathan looked up at her.

"What? Do I have sauce on my face?"

He shook his head. "No, it's great to see you. I've missed you." He put his hand over hers.

Trish looked at it and pulled her hand back. Shaking her head, she said, "Don't even think about it."

"What?" He cocked his head innocently.

"I'm not dating you."

"I didn't think so, but now you brought it up, why not?"

"The list is too long."

"I've always liked you. I mean not when you were, um, not free. You are free to do whatever you want."

"I don't want to. We could never have a relationship. Truthfully, a fling wouldn't be fair to you."

"Why?"

"Because it would be a revenge fuck for me. I would want him to know, but that would ruin your relationship with him."

"Ouch. I'm not him."

"No, but he's your brother. See we can't have a conversation without him. It's hard enough for me to move on without you reminding me. This dinner was a mistake."

This time she was quicker when she stood and stepped away. Trish walked right out of the restaurant and down Hanover Street into the station. Somehow she held it together until she entered her apartment. As the tears fell, she vowed to move on, but not with Jonathan Murphy. She imagined herself kissing him, but she only saw Joey.

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A/N I am having technical issues affecting my ability to respond to comments so I may to be responding. Anyone else having the keyboard cover the textbox when you reply. If so are you on iPhone or Android?