Trisha Jacobsen, MD left Children's Hospital after a grueling day. It was almost midnight three days  before Christmas, but she had a bag packed. Somehow she had gotten the week off.

As Trisha walked home, she didn't mind the slush on the sidewalk. In less than twenty-four hours, she would forget all about snow and sick children. Living two blocks from the hospital had its advantages, since Trish didn't own a car. A year and a half after moving to Boston, she had embraced city life.

The warm air from the lobby of her apartment building hit her and left her cold skin feeling prickly. As she passed a mirror in the lobby, she noticed her red cheeks. There were dark circles around her green eyes. A knit cap hid her auburn hair, but she kept it in a bun for surgery. One day, she would talk herself into cutting it short.

Garland was strung around the lobby including around the wall of mailboxes where she stopped to get her mail. In the corner was a fake tree decorated with red and gold bulbs. It looked like someone moved the Home Depot display to her building, but she didn't care about any of it.

In the elevator, she sorted through her mail. Junk mail kept the Postal Service afloat, except in December. She held three Christmas cards along with a mailer for house cleaning and another from replacement windows. The window company would save money by not soliciting residents in a fifteen story apartment building.

One of the Christmas cards was from her friends, Max and Olivia. It made her smile because she thought Olivia was the type to have her cards ready to go the day after Thanksgiving. Her friend was the most put together woman Trish had ever met. She felt like a tween playing dress up next to Olivia Steele, who was only three inches taller than Trish's five-three, but she wore heels like they were her bare feet. Trish wore comfortable Brooks running shoes to work where she stood for hours in the operating room. Also Trish lacked the womanly curves. If she were a Barbie doll, she would be Skipper, the little sister. Short with no boobs.

In her apartment, the only sign it was December was the stack of cards piled up with a few menus and coupons on her counter. She kicked off her boots and shrugged out of her winter coat. Could she leave the down parka at home when she went to the airport?

Dropping onto the sofa, she opened the first card and smiled. The Steele's were the perfect family, beautiful parents with their son and infant daughter. The second card was from her hometown in upstate New York. Her mother had been nagging her to come home for Christmas. It annoyed Trish that she didn't understand why she hated to go home. The simple explanation was that she had changed from the eighteen-year-old who was accepted to Yale complete with an amazing scholarship.

Sighing, she was too tired to think who would send her a card. She already had one from her sister and her brother wasn't the card type. The only people who sent cards were boomers and the older gen X crowd, except young couples posing perfectly with their beautiful children. Trish slipped her finger under the envelope flap and opened it. Her heart stopped for a moment when she saw the collage of photos. Why had Peggy sent her a card? Obviously, her mother shared her address. As much as the other Murphys tried to keep in touch with her, she hadn't had any contact with them in three years. Once upon a time, they had been her family. In high school, she would rather have been at the Murphy's house than her own home. She wanted to spend every moment with Joey. Her eyes found his face. A pain ran through her as she studied his smile. At least he was happy in his perfectly posed family picture. It was a snapshot of everything she gave up for her career.

Instead of going home for Christmas where she would probably see her ex or one of his four siblings, Trish was flying away to an island in the Caribbean, Las Islas del Rosario. The Rosario Islands were part of Colombia, but she was going for rest and relaxation, not sightseeing. Maybe she would change her mind, but she was five years behind on Elin Hilderbrand's summer novels and about twelve years behind on sleep. Her only goal was to get through Christmas and come back rested.

Trish had expected to work through Christmas again which would have suited her just fine. She even volunteered, but Dr. Blumenthal insisted as he reminded her, she hadn't taken a vacation in over a year. Work was how she had gotten through every holiday since her divorce. Ironically, the holidays she worked during her marriage helped lead to her divorce.

She took full responsibility for neglecting her husband during her residency, but Joey was the one who cheated on her. The pain of him stomping on their vows hurt deeper than she ever spoke out loud. They had been together since they were sixteen. They were each other's first and only until he had sex with a coworker while she worked fourteen hour shifts. Their marriage was on life support and probably couldn't have been saved, but he discarded her like she was the movie stubs he had saved through the years.

Fuck it! The sun was waiting for her in a place with the promise of paradise. She stood and put Olivia's card on her refrigerator with a magnet. Then she shifted through the pile and chose a few more: her sister's card with her nieces and brother-in-law, her freshman year roommate's picture with her fiance, her friend from medical school's card along with her gorgeous family. The rest she threw in the trash including the one she had just received. There was no way she would put her past on her refrigerator.

In her bedroom, her suitcase was ready and waiting for last-minute essentials, including her toothbrush. It didn't matter that she would have less than five hours of sleep; she was used to getting up early and could sleep on her flights. Once she was ready for bed, she slipped under her covers and visualized paradise with her mindful breathing. Unfortunately, memories invaded her mind like aliens in a C movie. She tried to start again, but thoughts of another Christmas took over. As much as she tried to push it out of her mind, the scent of pine and cinnamon overpowered her like she was burning two Yankee Candles next to her bed. As another tear followed a first intruder, Trish confirmed her resolve to never celebrate Christmas ever again.

The only thing that kept her from sleeping was her past. She fought it with a review of the kidney transplant she had taken part in that day. She had six months left in her second fellowship, transplant surgery. Instead of taking a job as a pediatric surgeon, she specialized further. While interviewing for fellowships around the country, her motto was anywhere but Yale. The risk of running into Joey was too great. Boston was ideal, not only for the stellar program, but she had a friend already settled in the city.

Her alarm woke her, and she reached for it to press snooze, until she remembered her vacation. No blood. No death. No lives saved. No holly and eggnog. She had six days of sunshine and sleep.

A half hour later she slipped into an Uber. The driver was a woman her mother's age. "No coat, sweetie. The temps are dropping all day."

Trish chuckled. "Not where I'm going."

She laughed. "Lucky you."

Once through security and at her gate, she took out her phone. She missed a text from Max at five to six. He was early for rounds and had solved the Wordle in three guesses. Trish opened the game and easily solved it in three as well. She shared her score with him. When her phone rang, she thought it was him, finished with his rounds, but it was her mother.

Reluctantly, she answered, "Hi Mom."

"Are your rounds over?"

It was almost seven o'clock, so rounds might have been over depending on how many patients they had. She considered lying, but the boarding announcement gave her away.

"Where are you?" Cheryl Jacobsen made her feel seven again.

"I'm at Logan on my way to Colombia."

"What? Why? You're supposed to come home."

"I'm not having this conversation again."

She shut her eyes and imagined seeing Joey at Christmas Eve Mass holding his kid. Maybe she would feel superior when she received communion and he couldn't. It would be worse if they ran into each other on the sidewalk downtown. He was under the illusion that they both got what they wanted. He had a family, and she had her career. What he never understood was she had always wanted both. She had wanted him.

"You have a family and we miss you. I haven't celebrated Christmas with all my kids since you were in med school."

"Do you think I don't know that?" People at the gate looked at her. She lowered her voice. "I just can't." Trish hung up.

Did her mother think she didn't remember her own wedding? On the day after Christmas, she married her best friend and the love of her life. They promised each other forever and Joey promised to support her career. In the end, it was a lie, because he gave up on her.

When the boarding started, she switched her phone to airplane mode. It was time for her escape.

Hopefully you remember Max's friend Trish. If you never read Max and Olivia's story you'll find it in the Publisher Series.

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