"Man, the Chang deal is killing me!  That little stuck up prick will not stop screaming at me Miss. T!"  Joe huffed as his face turned red.  

Annie sighed tiredly shaking her head watching Joe with his legs crossed,  rubbing his temples in hopes to ease his tension headache. 

"He keeps making changes to the blue prints and he blames me for the delay of his yacht!  It's been months!"

Annie nodded in understanding.  She knew what Joe was talking about.  The man was insufferable and indecisive.  Every time they sent in the prints to be reviewed and finalized so production could begin on his custom made yacht, Mr. Chang makes changes and demands they be done without being charged for the upgrades. 

"I know.  I'm sorry about all the trouble, Joe.  You're my second pair of hands.  I think I'm going to cancel the whole deal.  The man is too high maintenance and this is only the beginning.  Things are going to get much worse before they get easier." 

"Miss. T, I'm your assistant, it's my job, besides I love helping you out, regardless.  Taking on the Chang deal for you was a small price to pay for your work load that is triple the amount it used to be.  What's going on with you anyway?  You actually enjoy drowning yourself in work? You're spreading yourself too thin."

Annie forced her face to conform a smile. 

Many people around the office noticed she was different, more closed off, less sociable. Unhappy beyond words, Annie noticed the curious stares, but never offered anybody leverage over her.  She suffered in silence, even fooling Joe.

Work allowed her to take her mind off things, a great distraction yet an exhausting one at the same time.  She worked until her eyes hurt and her vision blurred—It was her only way with coping.  Occupying her time in the office early in the morning until late into the night was the only way she avoided any confrontations. 

The act she was portraying, was in fact, all an act.  She looked fine on the outside but was a ball of misery on the inside.    The days passed by gloomier, darker and lonelier. She smiled less and less as the days blurred together and the long weeks passed by as bits and pieces of her died slowly along with the time. 

Annie was moving on and trying to forget Julien and stay strong, but it didn't help when the reality is always shoved in her face. It was true Annie stopped hiding like a coward by avoiding him but it was the hardest, most difficult, the most torturous situation she has ever had to endure. 

There paths would cross around the T-building, may it be around the elevators, the hallways or when he was with his girlfriend Caitlin. But she was never at peace and always conscious that her thoughts never strayed from Julien and Caitlin. It seemed as though she was always around, catching Julien for lunch or arriving dressed up in a fancy dress for dinner to a classy restaurant.  The hand holding and the big smiles adorning their happy faces was like drinking poison and feeling it sizzle and burn through her insides.

Ignoring the both of them was the hardest thing she has ever done. Every time she watched their interactions the ache in her heart would break down and chip away her closure and healing. 

It should have been her on his arm. They were supposed to be happy together not the other way around. It hurt seeing their display of affection and became excruciating as Annie wondered how serious their relationship was progressing.

Although her mind accepted it was over, her heart didn't want to let go. She was torn between the two—an internal struggle constantly brewing on the inside making her miserable.

Annie blinked several times clearing her thoughts.  "Lots has to be done.  I have the time, why not make a difference instead of waste it."  Annie replied with a tiny shrug of her shoulders. 

"I swear it was like ten different emotions crossed your face just before you answered me!  What is going on in that head of yours, girl?  What wouldn't I give just to be able to read your mind right now." 

"Trust me when I say this:  your head would explode from the pressure if you ever got a peek of my thoughts."  Annie replied shuffling paperwork in a folder.  "Anyway back to Chang.  As of right now I'll retake control of the situation.  I just need to see my father and inform him that we are going to sever the deal.  I need the boss's stamp of approval."  Standing up from her office chair. 

"Whatever you say honey.  It ain't going to be pretty.  Chang is going to have steam come out of his ears and die of a heart attack when he finds out you're refusing to build his dream yacht....And Mr.T might not like the fact of losing a 2 million dollar deal."  Joe warned, handing her Mr. Chang's overly stuffed file. 

"Serves Chang right, I'd say.  It did cross my mind that he may not approve of severing the deal.   I'll just make Chang believe we did and shake him up a bit.  Once he knows he can't keep jerking us around, and we are serious, he might get his act together.  Either way I'm going to propse both options to my father and see from there what happens."  Glancing down at her watch Annie noticed it was 6:30 pm.  "Do you have any idea if my father is still around?"

"He's in the conference room with Mr. St. J. And Michael. Seemed like they were having a good time talking, their laughter could be heard down the hallway."

Annie tucked the folder under her arm and headed out of her office, hopefully it was Victor he was talking about not Julien.

"Thanks Joe. I'll see you tomorrow." She said, turning her head back.

"Good luck, honey. And goodnight." Joe said back with a slight wave.
****
Annie listened to the voices through the closed door. Joe was right, Annie recognized her dad's voice and Victor's. Instead of knocking, Annie avoided the formality and just entered without an invitation. She was so tired, her manners were the least of her concerns.

And she wished she never did.

The room fell silent as she surveyed the audience before her. Uncle Brett, Michael, Duncan, Victor, her father and Julien were looking comfortable, sitting back and relaxed, around the oblong meeting table.

Annie froze as six pairs of eyes latched onto her.

On the inside, Annie was dismayed, embarrassed, and regretful. But to the outside world, her facade was that of no emotion, indifference. However, she felt the blood drain from her face and her blood pressure drop slightly. The room felt like it was going to start to spin but before she spiraled down that course, Annie took a deep breath and sat quickly in one of the closest chairs.

"Hi, I didn't mean to interrupt." Annie quickly greeted, forcing a smile. It quickly retracted from her face when her eyes clashed with Julien's burning stare. It was one of wonder and curiosity. He looked so attractive and handsome as hell in his expensive business suit that Annie had to turn away before everybody else caught her staring.

"To what do we owe the pleasure?" Her father spoke pleasantly, breaking the silence.

"The Chang deal. It's been months since the blue prints for his yacht have been finalized but he keeps delaying by constantly adding changes. My assistant can't keep up. He is rude, unreasonable and refuses to pay for the changes he wants included. He's blaming us for the delay and is issuing threats if we don't do something about it." She rushed out quickly in one breath while handing her father the thick file.  Patrick opened the file and started to read the reports.  "I suggest we either threaten him to cancel his order or completely sever the deal."  Annie said looking anywhere but at Julien who was sitting directly across from her. 

She felt his continuous stare boring into her skin. 

The great effort it took to avoid his stare.  It was draining the small amount of control she had left.    It was making her uncomfortable and restless.  His very presence in the same room made her feel suffocated.  This is the closest she has ever been to him since the wedding. 

She loved him to deeply and it hurt even to look at him.

The last kiss they shared kept clouding her mind.  He abandoned her for good when he pushed her away after the brief episode.  He felt the connection, denying his feelings and denying her of the little hope she had left.  It was a slap in the face and a heavy dose of reality.

"Have you spoken to him yet?"  Patrick asked, arching a fine eyebrow at her.

"No.  I'm waiting for your decision."  She supplied, shaking her head. 

"How have you been, lass?"  Annie looked toward Duncan who was smiling at her kindly. 

She recognized the pity in his eyes as he surveyed her.  Annie resented the look wishing the ground would swallow her whole.  It made her clench her teeth painfully.  It was degrading to know they all knew what she lost.  But she did not want his pity nor anyone else's. 

"I'm well, thank you."  Annie offered him a brief smile.  His question was meant to ask more but Annie offered him nothing else.

She did not look well.  Her face paled when she entered the room.  The dark long lashes surrounding her eyes shielded her emotions as she looked down.  The white blouse she wore was tucked in a black tight fitting pencil skirt that hugged her slender curves. The exhaustion was evident on her face, the hollowness of her cheek bones indicated her lack of nourishment.   It appeared as though she'd lost even more weight since her brother's wedding weeks ago. 

But she still was one of the most attractive females he has ever laid eyes upon.

Since the wedding and his forceful kiss, Julien stayed as far from her as possible before he took her and forced himself on her again. He felt wretched and the biggest of scoundrels with the way he treated her. 

He still wanted her, and his attraction never dissipated.  It only increased. 

She was angry with him, that much he understood from her body language. But there was more to her than meets the eye. A bigger piece of the puzzle was missing. She was not well. It was as if she was having an internal struggle, a great burden weighing her down. It was hidden well with the mask she used to hide behind.

He wished he knew what it was. Everybody around him seemed oblivious to her dilemma, or they knew and he was left out of the information.

Julien kept his stare fixated on her willing her to look at him, but she never did and avoided his gaze at any cost.

"You can't handle a simple business deal anymore?"  Michael asked, taunting her.

Julien raised an eyebrow watching the anger slide across her features and the color returning to her cheeks.  The fire he caught a glimpse of at the wedding once before came back at the challenge her brother provoked.

Unexplainably, It made his heart lurch in his chest. 

It was a low blow. 

He should know better to add fuel to the fire, especially with an audience.  Annie tilts her head to the side, as she surveyed her brothers pompous attitude, stupid question, and smug expression. 

Annie couldn't suppress her anger any longer.

"I sit here into the wee hours of the night working while you're at home with your wife, Michael." She practically sneered. "You couldn't handle the guy, remember?  Remember when you came to me, begging me to help you?  If I were you I would shut my big fat mouth before acting like you know what you're talking about. If you think you can do all the work that I do and you want to take over my position, by all means I'll step down off my pedestal!"

Like a ticking time bomb, the emotions—hurt, pain, betrayal, and loss were the fuel, the drive that fed her anger.  But as soon as her short spiteful speech ended she instantly regretted it.  Annie could literally kick herself for lashing out as she did. It was a big mistake.

"What the hell—?" Michael sat up straighter in his chair reading to argue.

"Enough!"  Their father boomed out loudly interrupting Michael and making the two of them close their mouths from further embarrassing themselves.  "That comment was uncalled for Michael. And you, young lady, need to keep that temper in check." Patrick glared at the both of them. "You have full autonomy to do what you see fit." Patrick concluded, handing back the file.

"But dad it's at least a million dollar deal!"  Michael argued.

"It's two million actually." She offered, with a glare.

"You have no say in the matter.  You relinquished your responsibilities when you passed it on to your sister."  Patrick replied sternly with a disappointed look in his eye in Michael's direction. 

A phone interrupts the static filled atmosphere as it vibrates loudly on the table.  Julien reaches for his phone and stands up abruptly, "Excuse me," he says and exits. 

Annie breathed in deeply and exhaled loudly as he left.  It was easier to breathe freely without his suffocating presence.  There was a time when he filled her with joy, happiness and anticipation.  Whenever she looked at his face she would blush, feeling the warmth spread from the tips of her fingers to her toes. 

Now, being around him had the opposite effect.  It was a sad fact making her realize what a stranger he had become. 

"Hey doll, want to watch a movie tonight?  You know, be my date?"  Brett asked her with a smirk, breaking the silence.

Annie smiled at him, a real genuine smile.  Her Uncle Brett really was a breath of fresh air.  His charm and suaveness worked wonders, even on her. 

Although she was tired, she need a distraction from her own thoughts.  It's been almost two months since she's gone out and enjoyed herself. 

"Sure.  What time?"

"Be ready in about an hour or so.  We'll grab dinner and see a movie afterward."  Annie nodded and stood with the file under her arm once again. 

"Goodnight everybody."  She said and left the conference room. 

Annie hurriedly turned the corner without looking, assuming the hallways were bare since most of the staff went home. She crashed into something hard, knocking the entire contents of the file out of her arms, the papers scattered on to the floor falling all around her.

What felt like a pair of fit arms captured her and wrapped around her waist to hold her steady.

The unexpected accident had Annie's heart racing and she closed her eyes, the impact leaving her breathless. Her nose caught the light scented cologne from her rescuers neck and stiffened,  recognizing it.

It belonged to Julien.

"I've got you...Are you all right?" He asked in a husky voice.

Annie damned herself a thousand times. How could she be so reckless? No matter how much she tried to stay away from him, Julien kept appearing and haunting her with the constant reminder of the large void in her life.

Straightening and opening her eyes, Annie slowly raised her head to find a pair of beautiful silver eyes looking down upon her with concern.

No matter how much she tried denying it, she still loved him deeply. He was her first love, her first kiss, her first date, her first of many things. The worst part of it was he had no idea.

"I-I'm fine." She stuttered.

Julien narrowed his eyes, searching for something, anything to rekindle his memories. Annie bit her lip nervously and it caught his attention. Her two perfectly shaped pale pink buds screamed to be tasted by him.

The sounds of her thumping heart sounded loudly in her ears. He was going to kiss her, it showed by the way his eyes glazed over, head slowly bending and his arms wrapping around her hips and waist like a boa constructor.

"Julien. Stop. Let me go." Pounding on his chest lightly to make him pull back.

Annie refused to be used again. The last time still burned. But his intimate touch was making the feelings inside of her rekindle.  They fit well together.  How could he not feel it?  How could he ignore and repress what she knew he sensed between them?

The clicking of high heels striding down the hallway is what pulled him out of his trance and made him suddenly release his constricting hold. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking..." Julien said, a frown marred his features.

His fingers were clenched at his sides as if he couldn't decided if he should haul her back into his arms or leave her alone.

Annie ignored his tortured look in his eyes, took a few steps away, giving him her back and bent down to pick up the scattered paperwork. The heels stopped clicking against the polished tile.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting." Caitlin's happy voice drifted across the hallway. "Do I look okay?"

"You're lovely as always." Julien's responds.

Annie's heart throbbed painfully. Expecting to see them ready to turn away and leave, she glanced over her shoulder to only find Caitlin in Julien's arms, lips locked in a passionate kiss.

The shock worked it's way from the tip of her roots down to her toes within a second.

He was kissing Caitlin while his eyes were wide open watching her.

She could not help but feel the bile in her stomach want to rise up her throat at the repulsive sight. Ripping her gaze back to the file, she grabbed the last remaining papers and hurriedly crossed to the safety of her office, closing the door and locking it.

Annie sagged against it and slid down to the floor in anguish. She listened to their voices fading as they moved toward the main lobby.

Her entire world shattered into a million pieces.

The disgusting mental image of Julien and Caitlin doing more than kissing clouded her mind. And it broke her resolve and scarred her for life.

She lost him to a girl that looks nothing like her. A girl that was outgoing and fun. A girl that had no boundaries, no limits, no expectations like her. A girl that was not afraid to show the world what she wanted. A girl that was so unlike her in every way.

She stayed out of his way to secure his happiness, to ensure his mental well-being, and look where it got her.  It was costing her, her life, her happiness, her very livelihood.  It was a high price to pay.  The devastating consequences of her actions were slowly killing her. 

Even if his memories resurfaced, months from now or even a year from now and he came to her, it was too late. Too much damage had been done to ever go back to the way things used to be. Annie could never overlook all the suffering she'd seen and felt. Nothing and no one could erase the past, occurring, and future events.

He already lost her before he knew it. And she lost him long ago.

The damage was done. Nothing lasts forever.

It was the final straw. And Caitlin just pulled it out for the both of them.
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-Shaz