Julien held her captive in his strong arms not allowing her to move an inch from his body.  It felt like déjà-vous, He knew he could not let her leave him. As though this wasn't the first time this has happened. Now that he had her in his arms he was desperate to keep her there in fear she would disappear.

His reaction surprised even him, but he felt it deep in his gut that it was a natural feeling—the right thing to do.

In acute panic she searched the crowd for any witnesses of Julien's kiss. The lights dimmed down so low she could hardly see the outline of bodies swaying and socializing loudly above the sound of the soft tempo music.  The only other sounds was the beating of her heart as it thumped loudly against her chest.  

Annie sagged against his hard body relieved after confirming nobody witnessed what happened.

She could not believe what he did nor his reaction. He was being aggressive and possessive—holding her like she belonged to him. His eyes blazed with a fierce need that Annie felt down to her core. His actions spoke louder than any words could explain.

Did he get his memory back?

This Julien wanted her like the Julien before the accident. The kiss was no mistake, his body was attracted to her, calling out to her. But his eyes were also confused, searching her face as if it held the answers he was looking for.

As much as she tried, Annie struggled to unwrap herself from his grasp but Julien kept a firm hold on her body. The hope blossomed inside of her again but she squashed it down when she remembered his 'date'. It hurt to know he was with someone else. But admitted he didn't know any better, it wasn't the old Julien hurting her but the new one before her.

The Julien she loved would never hurt her, his duchess, as he used to call her, recalling his endearment sadly. Shaking her head trying to get rid her negative thoughts, Annie couldn't run the risk of anybody spying their current predicament or seeing her in a compromising position.

"What have you done? This is highly inappropriate!"  Faking her shock and appalled manner, trying the decipher if he indeed has some memories of her. She would be able to catch a hint by his reaction to her words.

Instead, Julien let her go without answering, gripped her by the arm and pulled her forcefully close to him as he directed them out of one of the exits from the ballroom. He leads them down the corridor to a secluded area.  Annie tried twisting her arm away but he held her with a death grip.

Cornering her against the wall Julian stood close, his stance rigid, nostrils flaring, his intense stare burning into her. Annie never backed down from his challenging stare and defiantly glared back. They never spoke, however the only sounds vibrating in her ears was that of her heart hammering wildly. 

She took two steps backward, her back now flush against the wall. Julien watched her with narrowed eyes and advanced towards her.  A force greater than him needed to acknowledge the attraction he felt for her and the reason why his body reacted so strongly. 

"What are you doing?" She tried again, struggling to reign in her anger. Just when she started to put the past behind her, giving up on him, she was reminded yet again as the reality pushed itself back in her face.

"Who are you?" He asked questioningly. It was like he was asking himself that question instead of her. Julien backed away from her and racked his hand through his hair in a frustrating manner.

Annie blinked in surprise. Who am I...?

He was obviously confused, disoriented. His body sensed her but his brain didn't, yet his unexpected kiss proved it.

It's what she avoided all this time, his pain and confusion. That's what prevented her from approaching him all these painful weeks. It was for his best interest.  This is what would have happened if she told him about them. And Annie would have hated to make him feel obligated to her.  She needed him to naturally regain his memories, his feelings, without her influencing him in anyway.

"Why am I attracted to you?  I just met you! Explain to me why I feel like I want to ravish you right here and now, and be damned the consequences?"  Closing the gap between them again, without touching her, Julian placed a hand next to her head against the wall. 

Something's never change, he was as bold as ever. 

His confession knocked the breath right out of her.  Annie's face flushed scarlet as her heart began to heal.  It felt like it was going to burst with joy.   Julien was naturally gravitating towards her once again. 

It appeared like his senses were alert and leading him.  But the memories.  Those are what needed to be reawakened.  She never wanted to replant them although they were a short period of time they were together.  He needed to figure them out on his own.

"Answer me."  He pleaded this time, seeming defeated. 

Annie wanted to run her fingers in his dark hair and tell him everything, but refrained.  She wasn't going to make the first moves or influence his advances.  If she is what he wanted, what he needed, once again, then she'd allow destiny to take it's course and not fight it this time. 

But if he doesn't, than she'd permanently exit his life.

"Julien no, don't."  She almost whispered, noticing the way his eyes zeroed in on her lips. 

He leaned in suddenly capturing her lips in a rough, hard unexpected kiss.  Snaking one arm around her waist and another cupping the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her silk-like hair. Julien roughly and almost violently pulled her in his embrace.  He took control and tilted her head to access her lips.

Fighting the effect of his nearness that re-kindled feelings of fire deep inside of her, she struggled against his chest trying to get him to release her, surprised yet again at his high handed manner.  His moves were not calculated, he was being impulsive, doing what he felt, having no regard for his actions nor her feelings. 

He was using her to feed the gnawing attraction he felt.

Julien softened his assault on her lips coaxing them apart with his tongue.  Annie felt so soft against him even though she fought his advances, her hands were trapped between them.

How can something so wrong feel so right?

She refused to listen to the faint whispers of caution of warning and gave up, parting her lips to his probing tongue allowing him to enter the moist secrets of her mouth. Giving him the control he sought after, the kiss became more frantic, more desperate as their tongues erotically dueled sending coils of fire spiraling through her.  Their kiss was rough, full of need so fierce it was nearly uncontrollable.

Annie responded with a hunger matching his own, giving him her all and knowing they were rushing into something vastly beyond her control.  But they hadn't been intimate in so long, she missed his touch, his demanding kisses so much it made the ache inside of her clench in sorrow.  It was like all the times they kissed but it was more intense, his touch awakening her hibernating senses. 

Julien's hands gripped her tightly, molding her to his hardness.  He was ravishing her with his mouth like a starved man in need of water.  She tasted like heaven, so soft, so yielding, so innocent.

They finally broke apart coming up for air as they inhaled and exhaled deeply their breathes mingling as one.  Annie leaned her head against his shoulder, breathing in his sweet spiced cologne.  He kissed her neck tenderly, traveling along the line of her jaw, eyelids, nose, and her mouth once more.  He couldn't stop himself, needing to taste her sweetness.  The moment felt too special, the attraction between them too strong. 

His hands traveled all over her back, down to her bottom, cupping firmly finding them beautifully molded for his hands.  Pulling her lower half flush against his, he let her feel how hard he was for her.  She gasped against his mouth, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

If it wasn't for her dress, Annie would have wrapped her legs around his waist. 

Their closeness was not enough, she wanted more.

After another long, passionate kiss and his hands caressing her exposed back, Julien pulled back eventually, their gazes locked onto each other.  Annie could have sworn he was giving her the same look before the accident. It warmed her heart noticing his hooded eyes filled with genuine need and longing.

To hell with waiting.  To hell with her pride.  To hell with his new girlfriend.

She should tell him.  Everything.  It seemed cruel to withhold the truth.  She already wasted too much time. 

The yearning she saw in his gaze dissolved the last of her defenses. He wanted her like he did before.  If that wasn't a sign she didn't know what was.  It was time to stop over thinking and put aside her fears. 

She cleared her throat delicately.  "Julien, there is something I must tell you–".

The sudden change in his mood made her break off because in the next instant any softness she thought she had glimpsed in him vanished abruptly as a storm of emotions crosses his features. Julien's eyes hardened along with the plains of his face and a muscle in his jaw twitched as he clenched his teeth tightly as if he were angry.

"I'm attracted to you when I barely know you.  I apologize for attacking you as I did, it was uncalled for."  He releases a frustrating sigh and pulled back.

Puzzled as to what could have caused the sudden change, Annie let go of his shoulders numbly as her hands fell limply to her sides. 

"Julien–."  She tried again trying not to panic.  "Please listen to–."

"This was a mistake.  I'll make sure it doesn't happen again..." he interrupted, taking a step away leaving her cold and disappointed. 

"Let me explain, you and I–"

"Enough.  I'm involved with another woman.  Nothing can be said for my behavior.  I can only ask you to keep what happened between the two of us."

The color drained from her already pale face as she swayed unsteadily.

His words cut her deep like a knife, and he didn't even realize he was the one cutting her up into pieces.

Just when she grew the courage which was fueled by his recent actions . . .he didn't want to listen to her.

Julien covers his lips with a clenched fist turning away and putting as much distance as he could between them.  His body language emitted disgust, regret, confusion and other emotions she could not read.

She could not believe it.  He regretted kissing her.  He wanted nothing to do with her. 

Annie hoped the kiss would have opened a gateway to his memory loss.  To say she was shocked was an understatement. It took her a moment to realize he was pushing her away intentionally this time.  Julien was fighting his feelings. 

How ironic, she thought. It was once her and now it was him.

Fate was playing a cruel game.  Fate was giving her a taste of her own medicine.  It's true she pushed him away but with reason.  The women in her family were taught at a young age a females reputation was important. 

Eventually she broke all the rules for him. 

Opened up like a closed off flower for him. 

And now he was taking what he once had,  stepping on her like a dried up preserved rose and crumbling it into a millions pieces. 

She tried, nearly pleading him to hear her out before it was too late for the two of them.  Right before her very eyes he rejects her. 

Anger replaced her shock as she straightened away from the wall behind her.  If this is what he wants, then so be it, she thought.

Annie was not going to stand there and beg him like some desperate fool. It was her lapse in judgement that she went along with her foolish fantasy—the hope he remembered her. He was just using her, probably thinking she was easy like all the other females he's had.

What they once shared was an exception. 

What they once shared no longer existed.

It was history.

Patting her hair in place, Annie smoothed down her dress. What just occurred was one of biggest, most reckless mistakes she had ever made.  It was so unlike her to make mistakes but recently she's learned there was no boundary line, no cut off to the countless wrongs she's made in the last few months.

Damn him. 

"Don't you ever come near me again!" The venom in her voice reached his ears as she glared at his back watching it stiffen. She meant every word while her heart broke and shattered into a thousand pieces all over again.

He couldn't even look her in the face.  He did not try and stop her as she stormed off enraged. 

The pain resurfaced as the rejection soaked in yet again.    It took all her power not to run.  That's all she was ever doing these days.  Running. But mostly from herself. 

Instead, she straightened her posture and held her head high as she walked back into the ballroom, her mask of indifference set back in place.

He used her and she let him.  She couldn't stop the bitterness she felt surging toward him. 

The lights illuminated above all the wedding guests once again as they scattered around to collect their belongings and ending the night. Directly going back to the table she was recently sitting at she reached from her clutch and strode toward the entrance where her family stood bidding the guests goodbye. 

Annie tapped her mother's shoulder to catch her attention.  Charlotte turned around, a smile hovering around her lips.  However, the smile froze as she searched her daughters face. 

"Mom, I'm going to call it a night.  I'm feeling a bit tired.  I'll see you at home."

Annie appeared tired and drained.  It seemed the plane didn't go as expected.  Kate had approached Charlotte—orchestrating the planned last dance as a set up to bring Annie and Julien together.

Kate encouraged Julien to ask Annie, while they held their breaths in anticipation, watching from a safe distance, witnessing it unfold right before their eyes as Julien asked her to dance. Annie looked a little uneasy but when she slowly accepted, excitement filled the air; It was only to bring them together in hopes in jogging Julien's memories. 

It was obvious something went wrong.

"Are you all right, sweetheart?" 

Annie looked down ashamed.  She felt used...cheap and disgusted.  She wished she hadn't allowed him to pull her away. 

It tore her insides apart.  The pain pushing forward, threatening to break her down all over again. 

"I'm fine, I just need to go."  Annie rushed out abruptly and turned away before she said anything more, refusing to inform her of Julien's abrupt dismissal. 

The tight dress she wore was suffocating.  She wished she could rip it off, her skin tingling in irritation.  Ignoring all the people surrounding her, she couldn't escape fast enough. 

The valet brought up her Mercedes, tipping the man a twenty, she slipped in the drivers seat, threw her clutch aside angrily and stepped on the accelerator with force.
*****
Julien felt like punching the wall as he entered his room. Slamming the door shut with enough force the door rattled in response. He couldn't believe his actions tonight. Taking advantage of innocent females was not his normal approach.

The last words he uttered to her ripped him to shreds on the inside. The last thing he wanted was to let her go. But he couldn't explain into words how he felt.

Julien was deeply attracted to her. Why or how, he did not know. He desired her, more than he could put into words. From the first time he touched her, he knew she was special. Annie was an exceptional beauty, but her real beauty was on the inside where an aura of strength, confidence, and pride shrouded her.

Julien loved the way she stood up to him, challenging him like a fighter, recalling the way her deep blue eyes spit fire. He could not help his actions and forcefully kissed her. When she struggled against him, it made him more dominate, wanting to posses her and make her his.

After she gave up and welcomed his kisses, it made him feel like a lion that was let out of it's cage for the first time. If it was possible to rip off that sexy tight dress off of her then and there he wouldn't have stopped if they were in a private room. He knew it wasn't right but it felt right.

Why did he feel an undeniable attraction to her? He was with Caitlin.

Placing his tall form in the arm chair in the corner of his room, Julien sagged into the soft cushions and rubbed his temples, the throbbing in his head starting again. Not able to sit, he stood, struggling out of his suit jacket, and slid the constraints of the bow tie off his neck placing them on the bed. He approached the nightstand that held prescription painkillers for his headaches. Reaching for the knob, he wretched the drawer open with too much force and the clips screwed to the drawer snapped, gliding out in his hand.

All the contents that laid inside spilled onto the floor.

"Bloody hell!"Julien roared, his frustration reached increasing heights as he threw the drawer against the opposite wall in anger. The heavy throbbing in his head increased causing him to squint his eyes.  Holding his head in his hands, Julien laid down on his bed, trying to regain control, breathing deeply and exhaling.

After a few minutes, the hammering in his head eased slightly.  He kneeled, spotting his pain medication, and reached for the narrow orange bottle standing to his full height.  Just before turning he caught sight of a small black velvet box. It was scattered amongst the countless items that dropped out of the drawer.

Julien frowned not recalling ever seeing it before. Picking it up, he opened the box and was greeted with a large sparkling teardrop-shaped pink diamond ring.

The diamond sparkled happily catching the light as he carefully inspected it.  The diamond color was rare and undeniably beautiful.   Taking the ring out of the soft, safe confines of the box, Julien raised it to his face, wondering why a diamond was in his drawer all this time and not once did he see it nor remember ever buying it.  This ring belonged to him, for it would not be amongst his belongings otherwise.

Annie's image entered his mind then quickly vanished. 

What happened before the accident? 

Who was this ring meant for?

Not finding the strength to continue standing, Julien numbly sat back down on his bed, the pain in his head unbearable.  The questions raced like a speeding train through his already jumbled thoughts. Grasping the ring in his palm, Julien placed it against his heart as if it were his life support while he laid back and closed his eyes.

A searing sharp pain in his head made Julien hiss.

He was holding the ring and inspecting the inside of the silver band where it read:
Always & Forever Mine.
"Is it to your liking, sir?" The blonde sales associate asked tentatively.
"Perfect". Julien responded, feeling like the happiest and luckiest man in the world.

The flashback ended and Julien sat up in shock. Unclamping the ring from his hand, he held it close to his bedside lamp. The exact same words were engraved in the silver band:

Always & Forever Mine

The image he was saw was in fact a memory.

This was an engagement ring.

But who was this intended for? He'd only been in the states for a few months. How is it he found the one? She must have been special for him to have already thought of marriage in such a short period of time.

Julien St. James finally found someone he wanted spend the rest of his life with and he couldn't remember who.  But if he listened to what his heart and body sensed today, he had a feeling it was the woman he was still obsessing over, not being able to forget the unexplainable, undeniable, burning need he felt for her. 

Angelica Taverron. 

Julien realized he desperately wanted it to be her. 

He was attracted to her—obsessed with her, yes, but who was she to him before the accident? It could be they were close as he remembered earlier...but in a relationship. Surely, it was not possible for it did not make sense. She would have came to him from the beginning, wouldn't she? Why would she stay away all these weeks? 

Someone would have informed him. 

Julien brushed it to the side, his theory quickly evaporating.   It was impossible. Maybe his head was conjuring all of it. He was confused and lost. He did not know what to believe anymore.

Why did he have this ring?

It was a mystery he feared he would never find the answer to.
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Another heart wrenching chapter.  Do you think he'll ever get his memories back or will she forever be forgotten?  Will the both of them find new love instead...with other people? 

I hope you all enjoyed it. 

A special thank you to my voters, I'm glad you find my writing worth voting for.   Just know I am very grateful. 

-Shaz